Note: Sorry for the delay, these chapters keep getting longer and longer so it's takin me more time to finish them up. I hope you enjoy. Please take note of the triggers, this gets a bit more into the past trauma of Pheonyx's so please take care of yourselves, lovelies.

Chapter CW/TW:Past rape/noncon, anxiety attack, panic attack, depression, allusions to past child loss, past child abuse/neglect, transphobia(Shane)

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By the time Daryl, Kismet, and Pheonyx made it back to the farm, the sky was just starting to turn orange. The blazing heat from earlier had dulled to a barely tolerable simmer. Crickets were starting to sing their evening song and fireflies were beginning to float around the fields surrounding the farmhouse. Sometimes Pheonyx was amazed at how nature could continue on, and could remain so normal, despite the carnage and decay that had taken over the world.

Kismet walked lazily beside them, having worn himself out with all the walking and tracking throughout the day. He didn't even wiggle when Pheonyx picked him up to lift him over the barbed wire at the outlet of the woods.

The three walked together until they reached the split rail fence that bordered half of the main yard of the house. Kismet ducked under the lowest rail and Pheonyx hopped over the fence with ease. Daryl landed beside him a moment later.

The area where the tents were erected that morning was quiet. Only a few of Daryl's group were moving around, the majority of them were sitting around a small campfire where a large pot was being stirred by Glenn. Low conversation could be heard from the distance between the men and the group, nothing distinct but it was the sounds of multiple people that had Pheonyx's muscles tensing. These people seemed okay–Shane excluded–he knew that. But he couldn't help the instinctual reaction to turn tail and run back to the solace of the woods.

A furry head butted into his hand, forcing him to put his attention on the dog at his side, instead of the people congregating on the property.

Daryl had seen the difference in Pheonyx the moment the sounds of T-Dog, Glenn, Shane, and Andrea chatting floated over to them. The calm, relaxed man was suddenly stiff as a board and gripping the straps of his backpack with a white knuckle grip. Kismet made a small whine of concern and pushed himself into Pheonyx's space, moving the man's attention away from the campfire in the distance. His inked shoulders slumped a small bit, but the tension was still there.

Daryl felt the urge to chew his thumb, unsure of what to do, but both of his hands were occupied. One was gripping the strap of his crossbow. The other held an old beer bottle– he'd found it on the way back to the farm–that he was using as a vase for the Cherokee rose he picked for Carol. The rose Pheonyx had picked, and handed to him as a promise, was currently tucked in between the folds of the map resting in his breast pocket. Daryl didn't understand why he did it. All he knew was that when he went to put both roses in the bottle for Carol, he couldn't part with the smaller stemmed one. The way the younger man had handed it to him, offering words of hope, made an impact on him. He'd grown up around people who offered empty promises. Mama who said she'd stop drinking but never did. Pa who said he'd wouldn't lay a hand on him anymore when he was sober. Merle who made a pact with him to never leave but not even a year later joined the military and left him alone. Social workers who promised to help him if he told the truth but never followed through. He'd learned not to trust promises. They always lead to heartbreak. But the way Pheonyx had looked at him, had spoken softly and told him that they would find Sophia, made Daryl believe him. He knew, even if they didn't find the girl, Pheonyx would do everything in his power to try. When he was holding Pheonyx's rose, he knew he couldn't give it away. So, when Pheonyx wasn't looking, he'd pulled out the folded map, and stuck the rose between the thin creases. The map-slightly thicker than it had been before- resting against his chest offered a piece of comfort that hadn't been there before.

"'M gonna talk to Carol. Tell 'er what we found. Do ya-", Daryl paused, not sure of how to ask. "She might like ta hear 'bout the bag. Give 'er some hope. Might be better comin' from ya."

Pulling his eyes from the campfire in the distance, Pheonyx took a moment to register what Daryl said. He nodded, grateful for the distraction. The older man inclined his head away from the tent area towards the RV his group brought. Thankfully, it was in the opposite direction of the camp. They began to walk over that way, with Kismet trotting on their heels. As they got closer, a figure appeared on the RV. The man with the bucket hat, Dale, was sitting on top of the large vehicle in a beach chair. He had a hunting rifle in his lap and was looking out into the fields with a pair of binoculars. A little bit of the anxiety in his stomach, the kind that constantly gnaws at his gut no matter the circumstances, lifted. Having someone on lookout for shadows, when Pheonyx couldn't be there, was a huge relief. He worried for his family, especially in their state of denial, but he couldn't be there 24/7 to watch for dangers.

Dale lowered his binoculars, having heard the trio approaching, and offered them a smile.

"Any sign of her?", he asked, taking his hat off and wiping some of the sweat off his forehead.

Pheonyx looked to Daryl, waiting for him to answer his group member, but the man simply grunted and nodded, not elaborating. Awkward silence ensued and Pheonyx coughed, dragging Daryl's attention to him. He raised his eyebrows and inclined his head towards the man on top of the RV, silently telling Daryl to talk to Dale.

With a roll of his eyes, Daryl spoke shortly, "The mutt found 'er trail and led us ta an ole' house she musta stayed in. Gonna head out early tomorrow ta keep lookin'."

Pheonyx didn't think it was possible but Dale's smile widened. The old man replaced the hat on his head and said, "It's nice to have some good news after the last few days. Carol's in the RV. Been trying to keep busy all day. Hopefully, this news will help brighten her day a bit."

As expected, Daryl simply grunted and opened the RV door to go in. Kismet pushed himself in front of the archer, and slipped inside. Daryl cursed as he stumbled a bit, the dog not knowing his strength knocked him off balance. He caught himself on the door and shook his head before stepping inside.

Pheonyx offered Dale a smile of apology for Daryl's stand-offish attitude and followed the other two inside.

Both Daryl and Pheonyx noted the smell of household cleaners when they entered the small living space. The counters around the vehicle were practically sparkling; dishes were drying in a rack by the small sink; the windows were streak free and glimmered in the evening sun. The younger man hadn't seen the inside of the RV before but he guessed that Carol had kept busy by cleaning the space top to bottom. He silently whispered a plea to the Earth that Kismet didn't completely destroy the place and undo the poor woman's hard work. The dog was tired but he always managed to cause trouble no matter what level of energy he had.

Kismet trotted into the back of the vehicle and a small giggle let the men know where Carol was. They both took a few steps forward , still managing to keep distance between each other despite the small aisle.

Pheonyx smiled as he looked over Daryl's shoulder and saw Kismet nuzzling his head into the woman's lap, the mending she had been doing laying to the side. The dog's tail was wagging but it was very delicate, as if he could sense that he needed to be gentle around the petite woman in front of him. Carol looked up and striking blue eyes met his own. Despite the short gray hair on her head, she looked young. Hardly any lines marked her face and the smile on her face was bright and girlish. There was an underlying sadness in her eyes. But her daughter was missing. It was understandable to be downhearted.

"I'm sorry about Kismet. I was gonna have him stay outside but he slipped in before I could say anything," Pheonyx said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Oh, he's fine.", Carol said meekly. She rubbed Kismet's head and scratched his ears, taking comfort from the softness of his fur. "Sophia always wanted to have a dog but Ed, my husband, hated animals."

Pheonyx responded without thinking, "He sounds like a dick." Daryl whipped his head to look at the younger man behind him, shocked–but also amused– by his bluntness. Pheonyx's eyes widened as he realized how callous his words sounded, considering her husband had just recently died. "I'm sorry-"

"He was a dick." Carol cut in, chuckling. "We haven't officially met. I'm Carol. Thank you for volunteering to look for my Sophia.", at the sound of her daughter's name, tears filled the woman's eyes and she used the hand not touching Kismet to catch the drops that fell.

Pheonyx felt Daryl tense at the sight of the emotional woman and he understood the feeling. He wanted to run from the RV and go hide in the stables. But he couldn't do that. If anything he was one of only people on the farm who could empathize with her. So, he sucked in a breath and muttered an apology as he wormed his way around Daryl. The other man flinched, not expecting the movement. Pheonyx sat down on the bed a foot away from the willowy woman and held his hand out in an offer of comfort. Carol gladly took it and encompassed his calloused hands with her small soft one. Brain set aflame with the need to run from the strange touch, Pheonyx swallowed down his fear and gave her fingers a small squeeze. Kismet whined and moved his head to lay in the spot between them.

"I'm sorry we couldn't find her today," he spoke softly and looked into her sparkling blue eyes. "Kismet was able to find her trail and he led us to one of the abandoned farm houses on the far ends of the property. Daryl found a cabinet that we think she slept in, and the empty cans of food that were still wet, so we're probably not even 24 hours behind her. She has supplies now too-"

"Supplies?" Carol questioned.

"The first month after phone lines went down, I set up bug-out bags on areas around the whole property. Just in case something happened to the farm. One of those was at the house. It has a week's worth of food and water, a pop up tent, and a hunting knife. The bag was gone when we got there and the only tracks in the house were hers. We don't have to worry about her getting dehydrated or being hungry anymore. We just have to catch up to her," Pheonyx chose not to mention worrying about shadows. Sophia had a knife now, but that didn't mean she knew how to use it. They just had to hope she managed to avoid them or learned how to fell the corpses quickly.

A light sniffle came from Carol's nose and she pulled the entwined fingers up to press a kiss to the back of his hand, right over the skull tattoo. A light blush overtook Pheonyx's face and he ducked his eyes. It wasn't physical attraction. Carol was beautiful but the aura she radiated was purely motherly to the young man. The soft kiss had been imbued with such maternal love and tenderness that he felt his chest clench. It was the kind of affection that he had always yearned for from his own mother. After finding out that her first husband was abusing Pheonyx, his mother had distanced herself from her oldest son. She was there to clean his wounds but she wasn't there to prevent them. She held him at a distance and no matter how much he tried to pull her closer, she always ended up farther away. Pheonyx always thought it was because she felt guilty that she hadn't noticed or stopped the abuse when it started. He felt like in order to protect herself from the gnawing culpability, she had to create a wall between herself and her son. It wasn't an excuse. It was simply an explanation. She had stepped up a bit when he was in the hospital six years prior but by then it was too little too late. And now that she was dead, he didn't think he would ever get to feel what maternal care truly was. But Pheonyx felt it now. Maybe that was why he felt the anxiety bugs– that had been crawling across his skin where Carol touched– disappear. It filled a hole in his heart that time had never managed to fix.

"Thank you. I can't thank you both enough for doing this. For even believing that she's okay." Carol reached over to the bedside table and grabbed a tissue, using it to wipe the tears trailing down her cheeks. "Everyone keeps telling me things will be fine. That we'll find her. But I can tell they don't believe it."

"I bel-", Pheonyx looked to Daryl, who was trying to make himself look smaller to avoid the emotional conversation happening in front of him, and corrected himself. "We believe it. We've already decided we're heading out first thing in the morning to look again."

There was still a look of doubt on her face, the kind that lingered after losing all hope and Pheonyx cleared his throat. He rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand, trying to think of a way to comfort her that didn't involve telling one of his biggest losses. But he couldn't. So, for the first time in 6 years, Pheonyx opened up without saying the words, "You're feeling alone right now. There's people surrounding you and you still feel like the only person for miles. They're there but they don't understand. A part of you is missing. A piece of your heart. A piece of your soul. They're able to go on about their life like nothing's happened. But you're still trying to figure out how to simply breathe when there's a hole in your chest where they used to be." The hand holding his tightened and the look Carol gave him was empathetic. She knew without hearing the words that Pheonyx could understand the type of loss she was dealing with. All signs pointed to Sophia being alive, but that didn't change the lingering doubt that filled the woman's mind. Sophia was missing and there was a chance it was too late. So, Carol was filled with grief for a child that could be dead but also hope that they'd find her well and safe. "You're strong, Carol. We just need you to be strong for a little longer."

Daryl watched the interaction between Pheonyx and Carol with awe and fear. Fear because he didn't know how to handle other people's deep emotions. He hardly knew how to handle his own. Awe because he saw Pheonyx give Carol the hope he'd been trying to offer for the last couple of days. Daryl never considered himself to be a particularly smart man. His pa always took the time to tell him how stupid he was, at least 2 or 3 times a day when he was around. But he wasn't blind. He noticed the look of shared grief between Carol and Pheonyx. The way the older woman gripped the younger man's hand a bit tighter. Had Pheonyx lost a child? He didn't look much older than his sister, Maggie, or even Beth really. But Daryl also knew that age wasn't a reliable determinate for having kids. Most of the people he grew up with started having kids around 14. Although that could be attributed to a horrible sex education curriculum and lack of resources for free birth control. The way Pheonyx had spoken though, seemed to leak empathy as opposed to sympathy. Daryl could only conclude that he must have lost a child, whether it be his own or someone close to that. The younger man had mentioned losing his brother and mother early after the world fell, but didn't mention a kid. Not that he expected the man to bear all his losses to him when they'd only met earlier that morning.

Sniffling a small bit, Pheonyx stood up. He gave Carol's hand one last squeeze before releasing it. Kismet's tail began to wag in earnest and the appendage thudded against the wall in a fast rhythm.

"I'm gonna go find Rick and set up a plan for tomorrow." Pheonyx said before facing Daryl. He had to stop himself from getting lost in the man's deep blue eyes and averted his gaze to the bottle in his hand. "All yours, Apollo."

He slid past the other man, being careful not to touch the archer, even though his body screamed at him to do so. Having passed Daryl, Pheonyx recalled Kismet, wanting to give the others their privacy. Also not trusting the dog to not get into trouble without him there. Over Daryl's shoulder, Pheonyx saw Kismet give Carol's leg one last nuzzle before shoving his tank of a body between Daryl's legs. The dog was wholly unaware of his size and Pheonyx had to withhold a snort as Daryl barely managed to catch himself from falling over.

Blue eyes followed Pheonyx's form out of the trailer, trying not to focus on the curves of his shoulders and the outline of his backside in the dirty jeans hugging sharp hips. A small cough had him jerking his head away from the direction of the RV door towards where Carol was sitting. He was met with a slightly amused gaze and a singular raised eyebrow. Blistering heat trickled up his shoulders and over his neck. Avoiding the questions that surely would follow, Daryl placed the bottle on the table near the bed. Thankfully, the distraction worked and he didn't have to come up with excuses for why he couldn't stop staring at the younger man.

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It didn't take Pheonyx long to find Rick. The man was sitting on the steps of the house's wrap-around porch. He was still wearing his Sheriff's uniform and stuck out like a sore thumb compared to his grungier looking compatriots. His star badge glinted orange, reflecting the light from the setting sun. Seemingly lost in his own head, Rick didn't even notice Pheonyx until he was right in front of him. Kismet whined happily at seeing the familiar man and pushed his head into Rick's lap forcefully. Despite the intense look on his face a few moments before, a bright smile crossed over his face. Light blue eyes–that Pheonyx couldn't help compare to a certain archer's–glanced up at him.

"How did it go?" Rick asked while scratching Kismet's ears.

Pheonyx relayed the information that they had gotten during their search, the same things he had told Carol just moments earlier.

"Daryl and I are taking Kismet out at first light to pick up her trail again," he finished, taking a seat on the porch next to the Sheriff. Kismet wiggled his butt happily and shoved his head into Pheonyx's lap.

"I can't tell you how nice it is to have some good news for a change. Knowing she has some supplies is a huge weight off our shoulders. I'm sure Carol is grateful as well," Rick took a deep breath of relief. "Shane, T-Dog, Glenn, and I are all ready to set up the search grid tomorrow."

Pheonyx grimaced a little bit, thinking about the complications that came along with more people searching, "I talked with Daryl and he agreed that we should wait to do a full search party for Sophia."

"Why? Isn't it better to have more people searching? Cover more ground?" Rick asked in confusion.

"A few reasons. The main being that I worry about others getting lost or hurt. I don't have enough maps with my traps labeled to hand out to everyone. All it takes is one shadow sneaking up to get someone stuck on a spear or to fall into one of the burn pits. There's also dangerous terrain that could be difficult for you all to handle," Rick nodded with his reasoning so Pheonyx continued. "Kismet is still in training, his attention span isn't always great. I worry that if we have a bunch of people out searching the trail will get messed up or the overlapping scents will confuse him."

Rick was silent for a moment, thinking about what Pheonyx had said, "All right. I trust you. Is there anything we can do in the mean time?"

"Rick. It's a farm. We have 50 head of cattle and 5 horses. There is a never ending amount of work. Especially if I'm out searching all day. Taking up my chores would be a huge help," Pheonyx scrubbed Kismet's ears and the dog's tongue rolled out in happiness. "Besides, might be good to show Hershel how useful extra hands on the farm can be."

"Yeah, he's already asked us to leave as soon as Carl is better," There was a note of fear in the older man's voice and he rubbed his face with hand in frustration. "It's bad out there, Pheonyx. I don't know how long we can make it on the road. I can't take my son back out there. I just can't."

"Look, I'm not trying to make excuses for my stepfather. He's bull-headed on the best of days. But, he's a good person. I think, with enough time, he will change his mind. I'll lean on him a bit. For now, help around the farm, follow his rules, let him get to know all of you, and maybe have Carl make puppy eyes at him."

The joke worked and Rick chuckled lightly. "Speaking of Carl. He's been asking to talk to you. He's up now if you want to go see him."

Before he could answer, Kismet grumbled and turned his head to woof at the Sheriff.

Rolling his eyes, Pheonyx patted the dog's side. "Mind if I bring Kismet in? He likes kids."

"Of course. He'd love that. We lost our family dog about a year before all this started. He had spots like Kismet's so Carl named him Domino," a wide smile broke across Rick's face as he reminisced on the old mangy dog that Carl had pulled in the house when he was only 5. He'd held onto the dog's dirty neck and cried until Lori finally relented on keeping him.

Standing up, Pheonyx left the man to his thoughts and walked around the house to the back door. It would have been easier to go in the front door, which was only a few feet from where he and Rick were sitting, but he wanted to steer clear of Hershel.

Avoidance was fruitless. He knew he would have to talk to him sooner or later. Especially if he was going to put in a good word for the group to stay on the farm. Talk? More like argue, Pheonyx thought with an internal sigh. Ever since his mother and brother's death, he'd avoided confronting Hershel on his skewed views on the shadows. He walked away when the subject was brought up, and tried to ignore the groaning from the barn. The few times he tried to change Hershel's mind had ended in shouting matches. Which ultimately led to Pheonyx having a PTSD-induced panic attack in the stables each time. So, he fixed the outside of the barn as much as could, reinforcing rotten boards and surrounding the perimeter with barbed wire. It wasn't foolproof. Eventually the old wood would splinter and the shadows would be freed. He just hoped it wouldn't be before his step-father changed his mind about the status of the infected.

Kismet reached the back door before Pheonyx, and started to claw the base of the screen frame, probably eager for dinner. He opened the door for the dog, letting him pass and run into the kitchen. There was a light thud and then the sound of his youngest sister's giggling filled Pheonyx's ears. While he wasn't as close with Beth as he was Maggie, the sound of her voice and happy aura always managed to help alleviate his anxiety. A small smile was already gracing his face before he even crossed the threshold of the door.

Kismet had managed to knock Beth to her knees and was covering her face in slobbery kisses. Hands covered in soapy bubbles and purple shirt soaked with water, she had been in the middle of washing the dishes from dinner when Kismet practically tackled her. Pheonyx waited a moment before stepping around the kitchen island to save his sister from the dog's assault of love. He grabbed the leather collar around Kismet's neck and gave a gentle tug.

"Kizzie, leave Beth alone." Pheonyx scolded lightly. Kismet whined but acquiesced to his owner's command. He walked off and helped himself to the water dish in the corner.

Pheonyx held out his hand to help Beth up. She smiled widely at him, the sunshine of her soul warming his chest.

"Thank you, Nyx. He's a big teddy bear," she said before turning back around to the sink to continue washing the dishes. "We already ate dinner but if you're hungry, there's some of that chicken you've been marinating. We also got some green beans and potatoes from the garden in the fridge too. I would've saved you some of ours but there wasn't much left after feedin' Carl. I gave the leftovers to Rick and Lori."

"That's fine, Bethie. You know I like to cook and they probably need the food more than I do," Pheonyx leaned against the counter next to the sink.

Beth bent back a bit to look out the kitchen door, checking to see if anyone was listening. She lowered her voice slightly, "I don't think they have enough food to feed everyone. I heard Rick and Shane talkin' about it when I went in to give Carl lunch. I told Daddy but he told me not to get into their business."

The worry and sadness in her voice was evident. Beth had always been the most benevolent one of the family and he knew the idea of people going hungry didn't sit well with her.

"Hershel is trying to distance himself. Don't worry. I have some food stored in the barn from my runs into town. I'll let Rick know he's welcome to it. Once we find Sophia, I can do some more hunting and we can share that with them too," Pheonyx placed his hand on her shoulder in comfort and leaned forward to press a kiss to her temple.

She leaned into him and wrapped one arm around his waist to hug him. Pheonyx instinctively flinched but his muscles relaxed when he reminded himself of who it was. When Beth pulled away, he saw the glint of sympathy in her eyes and he avoided her gaze, wanting to avoid any pity. While he knew Beth would never pity him, old habits die hard.

"I wanted to go see Carl," he coughed, trying to brush off the awkwardness he felt.

"He asked about you earlier so he'll be happy to see you. I took him some of Shawn's comics, so he's been busy readin' those all day."

"Thanks, Bethie.", Pheonyx squeezed her shoulder and patted Kismet's side as he passed the dog, who had placed himself in the door that led into the dining room. A jingle of the buckle on Kismet's collar and click of nails on the tiled floor let Pheonyx know that the dog was following behind him.

After dinner, Hershel usually spent an hour or two in his office reading. The past few weeks, his book of choice was mostly his bible. For many people, the rising of the dead dissolved any notions of faith in a higher power. In the beginning of the outbreak the news streamed videos, between images of the dead eating people, of mobs burning churches and piles of bibles in anger. It was something Pheonyx could honestly understand. That anger was something he had felt the majority of his life. How could god, someone who supposedly personifies love and forgiveness, attack his creations so blatantly? And if it was the devil who actually brought the carnage upon the world, how could god just stand by and let it happen? For Hershel though, he found the outbreak and the loss of his family members to be tests of his faith. The atrocities that nature flung at their feet had steadfastly strengthened the old man's beliefs. Pheonyx took a moment to be appreciative of the older man's dedication to schedules and his religious upbringing. Simply for the fact that he wouldn't have to run into his stepfather and engage in another verbal spar.

Before Pheonyx reached the door, he stooped down to Kismet's level and pointed a finger at the dog's bulky head.

"Behave," he said sternly. "I know you love kids but Carl's hurt. You don't know your strength most of the time."

He swore that Kismet rolled his chocolate eyes at him before huffing and trotting into the makeshift hospital room where Carl was staying. Shaking his head, Pheonyx followed behind him and looked in the door.

The room was much cleaner than the day before. Sheets stained with blood were replaced by clean linens and the only medical supplies that could be seen was a tray of clean bandages and alcohol located on the bedside table. In the bed, a small lump was under the blankets but in the place where a head would be was a bright comic book being held up by elfin hands. The sound of Pheonyx's foot stepping on a squeaky floorboard had a pair of blue eyes, mirror images of Rick's, popping over the top of the pages. Carl closed the comic book and set it on his lap before smiling widely at him. It took only two seconds for the boy to notice Kismet, who was wiggling his whole body with glee at the sight of the child. Nails clicked as the gentle giant began to tap his toes and he grumbled with impatience.

"Dad told me there was a dog! What's his name? Can I pet him?", Carl asked excitedly, trying to sit up more. He groaned in pain though and placed his hand on his side.

Pheonyx moved to the boy's side quickly, "Careful, bud."

He clicked his tongue and Kismet trotted to his side. Seeming to sense that the kid was in pain, Kismet gently pushed his head into Carl's hand offering a lick of comfort.

"This is Kismet. You can pet him all you want. He loves to be touched so you'd be doing him a favor."

Although it seemed impossible, Carl's smile got even wider as he scratched Kismet's head and ears. His hands looked like doll's hands compared to the dog's prodigious skull.

"We had a dog that looked like him. I named him Domino because he was covered in spots. He liked to steal our neighbor's newspapers and chew them up. It made mom so mad. Dad and I thought it was funny though," Carl's eyes sparkled as he looked up at him. "Are you Pheonyx? Dad said you had a lot of tattoos. I've never seen so many before! They're so cool. Did they hurt? Which one hurt the worst? If I could get a tattoo, I would get the Batman symbol right across my chest. I think my mom would be mad though," Carl's button nose scrunched up at the thought of making his mom angry.

Pheonyx chuckled at the boy's enthusiasm and endless stream of questions, "Tattoos do hurt. More or less depending on where you get them. The ones on my ribs hurt the worst though. And you are right. Your mom would probably be furious if you got a tattoo right now. Wait until you're 18 and see how you feel then."

Carl nodded and Pheonyx took a moment to take stock of his appearance. The boy looked much better than he did the day before. Almost 24 hours before, Carl had practically blended in with the white sheets on the bed, skin pale white from blood loss. Today, his skin had pinkened up a bit and the clammy look had been replaced by simple sweat from the humid Georgian air.

"Dad said you're helping look for Sophia. Thank you. She's my friend and I'm really worried about her. I wish I could help search. While I was sleeping, I dreamt that she was hiding in a cave and I'm the one who found her." A sad look passed over his face and he averted his gaze to Kismet, who was drooling from contentment at being rubbed.

Pheonyx sat in the rocking chair next to the bed. "You know I donated blood to you right? Your dad gave more than me but I gave some when you first got here.", he flipped his hand over and showed his palm to Carl, a small scabbed cut was in the center. He'd cut it when he was sharpening his knife the previous morning, "I also helped hold pressure on your stomach when you got here. That means I got your blood in my cut. Do you know what that means?"

Carl shook his head, not understanding what Pheonyx was trying to say. So the older man continued, "That means we're blood brothers now."

"What are blood brothers?," the confusion was evident in the boy's voice.

"Well, it's a pact where two people promise to protect each other and treat each other like real brothers. Most people cut their palms and press their cuts together to share blood. So, ours is a little different. But I think that makes it a lot stronger."

"So, you'd be like a big brother for me? And I'd be your little brother?", Carl asked, his eyebrows still scrunched a bit in confusion. When Pheonyx nodded, the boy's face relaxed and brightened. "I've always wanted a brother!"

"As your blood brother, I'm making you a promise that, while you're healing, Kismet and I will do everything in our power to bring Sophia back since you can't be out there searching for her yourself. You have to make me a promise in return though."

Eagerness spread on Carl's face and he nodded, "Anything!"

"You have to promise to take it easy and to do everything Hershel says so that you can get better. Is that a deal?," Pheonyx held out his fist to the younger boy, waiting for an answer.

Carl thought for a moment before smiling and bumping his fist against Pheonyx's. "Deal."

When Pheonyx told Daryl that he didn't make promises often, that wasn't a lie. He tried to avoid them. Because promises often led to disappointment. And as someone who endured a lot of that disappointment growing up, he couldn't handle the thought of inadvertently giving that feeling to someone else. Despite that, he had made more promises in the last two days than he had in his 28 years of life.

The two of them talked for a little while longer. Carl spoke of his school and how he used to play soccer. Pheonyx told him about his siblings and his work at a tattoo shop. The conversation was normal, all things considered. Kismet had left at some point to beg for dinner from Maggie or Beth. Eventually, the boy's eyes began to droop, and the sun outside had almost completely disappeared. Pheonyx gave the boy another fist bump and promised to come see him again after searching for Sophia the next day.

He was lost in his thoughts as he turned from the doorway towards the front door. So lost that he ran directly into a wall of muscle and his body immediately tensed when a large hand gripped his bicep tightly, cutting off the supply of blood to his fingers. His heart began to race and he looked into the angry brown eyes of Shane. The man's eyes were narrowed and his body language was threatening.

"The hell were you doing in there?", he growled.

Despite the fear flooding his body, Pheonyx held his ground, staring dead in the other man's eyes, and gritted his teeth. "Talking to Carl. Do you have a problem with that?"

"Yeah. As a matter of fact, I do. You stay the hell away from that boy. Filling his head with fucked up ideas. You hear me?", the grip on Pheonyx's arm tightened. He could practically feel the blood vessels bursting in his skin. The only blessing was that Shane was gripping the arm that had the realism styled tattoo. With the colors and full distribution of ink across his arm, the inevitable bruise wouldn't be very noticeable. It didn't take a genius to figure out the meaning behind Shane's words. The "ideas" that he didn't want Pheonyx sharing with the boy. Shane didn't want Carl to know Pheonyx was trans. The reason being, the idea of being trans was seen as something deviant or impure. And that if a child learned about it, they would be tainted in some way. It was a stupid thought–being transgender wasn't a disease–but it was something that Pheonyx was familiar with. When he came out, several family members from Hershel's side lamented his braveness for coming out but asked him "politely" to not speak about it in front of their children. The excuses ranged from "they wouldn't understand" to "they'll get the wrong ideas". They feared that if they learned what being trans was, then they might come out too. Or that they might have to have an honest conversation with their child.

"I hear you. But I'm not going to listen to some neanderthal throwing his weight around like he owns the place. Last time I checked, you're not Carl's father. The second Lori or Rick say they don't want me around their son, I'll oblige but until then I'll hang out with Carl anytime he wants," Pheonyx's tone was lethal. Despite the shivering in his muscles and the screaming in his mind, he wouldn't back down.

A welcome voice sounded by the door, "Is there a problem here?"

Shane turned his head to look at the person speaking and Pheonyx used the distraction to jerk his arm from the man's tight grip. Blood rushed back to his fingers and he resisted the urge to massage the area.

Rick stood a short distance from them, eyes narrowed on his best friend.

"No problem here. Just having a chat.", Shane smiled, acting as if he didn't just have Pheonyx cornered.

Pheonyx opted to not rock the boat, knowing it would just cause more problems for the group's standing on the farm. If Hershel knew that Shane had acted like that with his step son, he wouldn't hesitate to throw them out.

"No problem at all, Rick. Just having a conversation. Man to Man.", Pheonyx smirked and placed a condescending hand on the taller man's shoulder. The sharp look Shane gave him was worth the probable consequences of poking the bear. "I was just heading out. I'll be in the stables if you need anything."

Without a backward glance, Pheonyx walked around the Sheriff and left through the squeaky screen door. The fresh air hit his face and the adrenaline that had been running rampant through his body disappeared. A lump built in his throat and he had to stop the tears from running down his face. Shane's hate was bringing up a lot of memories that Pheonyx thought he'd moved past. But there he was, trying not to see the flickering light in the alley as it created shadows, making the men look taller than they were. Trying not to smell the ripe stench of garbage and body odor. Trying not to hear their vile words whispered in his ear. Trying not to feel their fingers digging into his shoulders and tearing at his clothes. Trying not to remember the taste of blood filling his mouth, mixing with the bile that lingered from their attack.

We're gonna fix you, sweetheart. Just gotta show you how to be a woman.

The voice floated in his brain like ash after a wildfire. No matter the distance from the flame, it still lingered, staining his thoughts black.