We're Wizards, Not Warriors: What If
Volume 7:
Chapter 13: A New Hope
The planet of Tatooine emerges, its two moons glowing against the darkness. A tiny silver spacecraft, a Rebel Blockade Runner, is firing lasers from the back of the ship, racing through space. It is pursued by a giant Imperial Star Destroyer. Hundreds of deadly laser bolts streak from the Imperial Star Destroyer, causing the main solar fin of the Rebel craft to disintegrate.
Inside of the ship, we see several soldiers and droids running around.
Including two familiar ones.
The golden ball of nerves, C3-P0, and plucky Astromech unit, R2-D2.
Another blast shakes them as they struggle along their way.
C3-P0 said in fear, "did you hear that? They've shut down the main reactor. We'll be destroyed for sure. This is madness!"
A familiar toy droid flew beside the duo.
It was Lola! She beeped alongside R2.
R2 beeped in agreement to what Lola said.
C3-P0 muttered, "we're doomed. There'll be no escape for the Princess this time."
Lola flew over to C3-P0 and she beeped at what he said.
"What? It's the truth", C3-P0 exclaimed.
Rebel troopers rush past the robots and take up positions in the main passageway. They aim their weapons toward the door.
They all had uneasy looks as they stared at the doors, sounds being heard.
C3-P0 asked, "what was that?"
Tension mounts as loud metallic latches clank and the scream of heavy equipment are heard moving around the outside hull of the ship.
The Imperial craft has easily overtaken the Rebel Blockade Runner. The smaller Rebel ship is being drawn into the underside dock of the giant Imperial starship.
The nervous Rebel troopers aim their weapons. Suddenly a tremendous blast opens up a hole in the main passageway and a score of fearsome armored spacesuited stormtroopers make their way into the smoke-filled corridor.
A barrage of blaster fire erupts from both sides of the battle as the droids run for cover!
In a few minutes the entire passageway is ablaze with laserfire. The deadly bolts ricochet in wild random patterns creating huge explosions. Stormtroopers scatter and duck behind storage lockers. Laserbolts hit several Rebel soldiers who scream and stagger through the smoke, holding shattered arms and faces.
An explosion hits near the robots.
"I should have known better than to trust the logic of a half-sized thermocapsulary dehousing assister….", C3-P0 muttered.
R2 and Lola counter with an angry rebuttal as the battle rages around the three hapless robots.
Several rebels are shot down as the stormtroopers slowly gain the upper hand as the droids go down a hallway.
Then two dark figures enter the ship.
The first was Vader, clad in his armor.
The second was Darth Alatu.
They both glanced at the dead bodies. The two then walked down the hallway.
….
We then see a woman's hand put a card into an opening in R2s dome.
R2 makes beeping sounds.
Lola sits atop R2's head.
C3-P0 comes around the corner, asking, "Artoo Deetoo! Lola! Where are you?"
A familiar clanking sound attracts Threepio's attention and he spots R2 and Lola at the end of the hallway in a smoke-filled alcove.
A beautiful young girl stands in front of Artoo. Surreal and out of place, dreamlike and half hidden in the smoke, she finishes adjusting something on R2's computer face, then watches as the little robots join their companion.
C3-P0 said, "come along. We must get to safety."
Stormtroopers can be heard battling in the distance.
"They're heading in this direction. What are we going to do? We'll be sent to the spice mines of Kessel or smashed into who knows what", C3-P0 said in fear.
R2 and Lola started beeping, confusing C3-P0 with what they said.
C3-P0 demands as he chases after the two droids, "wait a minute, where are you two going?"
Darth Vader stands amid the broken and twisted bodies of his foes. He grabs a wounded Rebel Officer by the neck as an Imperial Officer rushes up to the Dark Lord.
The officer says, "the Death Star plans are not in the main computer."
Vader squeezes the neck of the Rebel Officer, who struggles in vain.
Vader growls as he lifts the rebel off his feet by the throat, "where are those transmissions you intercepted? What have you done with those plans?"
"We intercepted no transmissions. Aaah…. This is a consular ship. We're on a diplomatic mission", the rebel choked out.
Vader growled, "if this is a consular ship…. Where is the Ambassador?"
The Rebel refuses to speak but eventually cries out as the Dark Lord begins to squeeze the officer's throat, creating a gruesome snapping and choking, until the soldier goes limp. Vader tosses the dead soldier against the wall and turns to his troops.
Vader yelled, "Commander, tear this ship apart until you've found those plans and bring me the Ambassador. I want her alive!"
The stormtroopers scurry into the sub hallways.
A lovely young woman huddles in a small alcove as the stormtroopers search through the ship. It's Leia Organa, now a member of the Alderaan Senate. The fear in her eyes slowly gives way to anger as the muted crushing sounds of the approaching stormtroopers grow louder. One of the troopers spots her.
He says, "there she is! Set for stun!"
Leia steps from her hiding place and blasts a trooper with her laser pistol. She starts to run but is felled by a paralyzing ray. The troopers inspect her inert body.
He says, "she'll be all right. Inform Lord Vader we have a prisoner."
R2 stops before the small hatch of an emergency lifepod. He snaps the seal on the main latch and a red warning light begins to flash. The stubby astro-robot works his way into the cramped four-man pod.
C3-P0 said, "hey, you're not permitted in there. It's restricted. You'll be deactivated for sure…."
R2 and Lola beep something to him.
C3-P0 said, "don't call me a mindless philosopher, you overweight glob of grease and tiny little flying top! Now come out before somebody sees you."
R2 and Lola whistle and beep something at their reluctant friend regarding the mission he is about to perform.
C3-P0 asked, "secret mission? What plans? What are you talking about? I'm not getting in there!"
R2 and Lola aren't happy about C3-P0's stubbornness, and they beep and twang angrily.
A new explosion, this time very close, sends dust and debris through the narrow sub hallway. Flames lick at Threepio and, after a flurry of electronic swearing from Artoo and Lola, the lanky robot jumps into the lifepod.
He mutters to himself, "I'm going to regret this", as the pod launches off a few moments later.
On the main viewscreen, the lifepod carrying the three terrified robots speeds away from the stricken rebel spacecraft.
The chief pilot says, "there goes another one."
The captain said, "hold your fire. There are no life forms. It must have been short-circuited."
The pilot asked, "'hold your fire?' What, are we paying by the laser now?"
The captain said, "you don't do the budget, Terry, I do!"
R2, Lola and C3-P0 look out at the receding Imperial starship. Stars circle as the pod rotates through the galaxy.
C3-P0 said, "that's funny, the damage doesn't look as bad from out here."
Artoo beeps an assuring response.
C3-P0 asked, "are you sure this thing is safe?"
….
Princess Leia is led down a hallway by a squad of armored stormtroopers. Her hands are bound and she is brutally shoved when she is unable to keep up with the briskly marching troops. They stop in a smoky hallway as Darth Vader and Darth Alatu emerge from the shadows. The sinister Dark Lords stares hard at the frail young senator, but she doesn't move.
Leia said, "Lord Vader and Lord Alatu, I should have known. Only one of you could be so bold. The Imperial Senate will not sit for this, when they hear you've attacked a diplomatic-"
Vader growled, "don't play games with me, your Highness. You weren't on any mercy mission this time. You passed directly through a restricted system. Several transmissions were beamed to this ship by Rebel spies. I want to know what happened to the plans they sent you."
"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm a member of the Imperial Senate on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan….", Leia said.
Vader growled, "you are part of the Rebel Alliance, and a traitor! Take her away!"
Leia is marched away down the hallway and into the smoldering hole blasted in the side of the ship. An Imperial Commander turns to Vader and Alatu.
They said, "holding her is dangerous. If word of this gets out, it could generate sympathy for the Rebellion in the senate."
Alatu said, "we have traced the Rebel spies to her. Now she is our only link to find their secret base!"
The commander said, "she'll die before she tells you anything."
Vader said, "leave that to us. Send a distress signal and then inform the senate that all aboard were killed!"
Another Imperial Officer approaches Vader and the Commander. They stop and snap to attention.
"Lord Vader, Lord Alatu, the battle station plans are not aboard this ship! And no transmissions were made. An escape pod was jettisoned during the fighting, but no life forms were aboard", the Officer said.
Alatu said, "she must have hidden the plans in the escape pod. Send a detachment down to retrieve them."
Vader said, "see to it personally, Commander. There'll be no one to stop us this time."
The commander said, "yes, sir."
The Imperial Star Destroyer comes over the surface of the planet Tatooine.
….
We see the Jundland, or "No Man's Land", where the rugged desert mesas meet the foreboding dune sea. The three helpless droids kick up clouds of sand as they leave the lifepod and clumsily work their way across the desert wasteland. The lifepod in the distance rests half buried in the sand.
C3-P0 said, "how did I get into this mess? I really don't know how. We seem to be made to suffer. It's our lot in life."
R2 answers with beeping sounds.
C3-P0 said, "I've got to rest before I fall apart. My joints are almost frozen."
Lola responds with beeping sounds.
C3-P0 said, "what a desolate place this is."
Suddenly R2 whistles, makes a sharp right turn and starts off in the direction of the rocky desert mesas with Lola.
C3-P0 stops and says to them, "where are you going?"
A stream of electronic noises pours forth from the small robot.
"Well, I'm not going that way. It's much too rocky. This way is much easier", C3-P0 said.
Lola counters with a long whistle.
C3-P0 asked, "what makes you think there are settlements over there?"
Artoo continues to make beeping sounds.
C3-P0 said, "don't get technical with me."
R2 and Lola continue to make beeping sounds.
C3-P0 said, "what mission? What are you talking about? I've had just about enough of you two! Go that way! You'll be malfunctioning within a day, you nearsighted scrap piles!"
C3-P0 gives R2 a kick and starts off in the direction of the vast dune sea.
"And don't let me catch you following me begging for help, because you won't get it", C3-P0 said.
R2 and Lola's replies are some rather rude sounds. They turn and trudges off in the direction of the towering mesas.
C3-P0 said, "no more adventures. I'm not going that way."
R2 and Lola beep to one another as they make their way toward the distant mountains.
….
C3-P0 struggles up over the ridge of a dune; only to find more dunes, which seem to go on for endless miles. He looks back in the direction of the now distant rock mesas.
"Those malfunctioning little twerps. This is all their fault! They tricked me into going this way, but they'll do no better", C3-P0 said in anger
In a huff of anger and frustration, Threepio knocks the sand from his joints. His plight seems hopeless, when a glint of reflected light in the distance reveals an object moving towards him.
He says, "wait, what's that? A transport! I'm saved!
The android waves frantically and yells at the approaching transport.
C3-P0 yelled, "over here! Hey! Heeeeey! Help! Please, help!"
….
The gargantuan rock formations are shrouded in a strange foreboding mist and the ominous sounds of unearthly creatures fill the air. R2 and Lola move cautiously through the creepy rock canyon, inadvertently making a loud clicking noise as they go. They hear a distant, hard, metallic sound and stop for a moment. Convinced they are alone, they continue on their way.
In the distance, a pebble tumbles down the steep canyon wall and a small dark figure darts into the shadows. A little further up the canyon a slight flicker of light reveals a pair of eyes in the dark recesses only a few feet from the narrow path.
The unsuspecting robots waddle and fly along the rugged trail. Lola hides in one of Artoo's chest compartments, until suddenly, out of nowhere, a powerful magnetic ray shoots out of the rocks and engulfs R2, and Lola inside him, in an eerie glow. R2 manages one short electronic squeak before he topples over onto his back. His bright computer lights flicker off, then on, then off again. Out of the rocks scurry three Jawas, no taller than R2. They holster strange and complex weapons as they cautiously approach the robot. They wear grubby cloaks and their faces are shrouded so only their glowing eyes can be seen. They hiss and make odd guttural sounds as they heave the heavy robot onto their shoulders and carry him off down the trail.
The eight Jawas carry R2 out of the canyon to a huge tank- like vehicle the size of a four-story house. They weld a small disk on the side of Artoo and then put him under a large tube on the side of the vehicle and the little robot is sucked into the giant machine. The filthy little Jawas scurry like rats up small ladders and enter the main cabin of the behemoth transport.
….
It is dim inside the hold area of the Sandcrawler. R2 switches on a small floodlight on his forehead and stumbles around the scrap heap. Lola pops out of R2 as they move along. The narrow beam swings across rusty metal rocket parts and an array of grotesquely twisted and maimed astro-robots. Both droids let out pathetic electronic whimpers and stumble off toward what appears to be a door at the end of the chamber.
R2 and Lola enter a wide room with a four-foot ceiling. In the middle of the scrap heap sit a dozen or so robots of various shapes and sizes. Some are engaged in electronic conversation, while others simply mill about. A voice of recognition calls out from the gloom.
"Artoo? Lola!"
R2 and Lola see a battered Threepio scramble up to embrace them.
C3-P0 said, "Artoo Deetoo! Lola! It is you! It is you!"
….
The enormous Sandcrawler lumbers off toward the magnificent twin suns, which are slowly setting over a distant mountain ridge.
….
Four Imperial stormtroopers mill about in front of the half-buried lifepod that brought Lola, R2 and C3-P0 to Tatooine.
A trooper yells to an officer some distance away, "someone was in the pod. The tracks go off in this direction."
A second trooper picks a small bit of metal out of the sand and gives it to the first trooper as he says, "look Sir; droids."
Another trooper held up a coin and said, "look, a penny!"
….
The Sandcrawler moves slowly down a great sand dune.
R2, C3-P0 and Lola noisily bounce along inside the cramped prison chamber. R2 appears to be shut off.
"Wake up! Wake up", C3-P0 said to R2.
Suddenly the shaking and bouncing of the Sandcrawler stops, creating quite a commotion among the mechanical men. Threepio's fist bangs the head of R2, whose computer lights pop on as he begins beeping. At the far end of the long chamber a hatch opens, filling the chamber with blinding white light. a dozen or so Jawas make their way through the odd assortment of robots.
C3-P0 said, "we're doomed."
A Jawa starts moving toward them.
C3-P0 said, "do you think they'll melt us down?"
R2 and Lola respond, making beeping sounds.
A jawa points his tool at the droids.
C3-P0 said, "don't shoot! Don't shoot! Will this never end?
The Jawas mutter gibberish as they busily line up their battered captives, including Lola, R2 and C3-P0, in front of the enormous Sandcrawler, which is parked beside a small homestead consisting of three large holes in the ground surrounded by several tall moisture vaporators and one small adobe block house.
The Jawas scurry around fussing over the robots, straightening them up or brushing some dust from a dented metallic elbow. The shrouded little creatures smell horribly, attracting small insects to the dark areas when their mouths and nostrils should be. Out of the shadows of a dingy side-building limps Owen Lars, now in his mid-fifties.
His reddish eyes are sunken in a dust-covered face. As the farmer carefully inspects each robot, he is closely followed by his slump-shouldered nephew, Luke Skywalker.
One of the Jawas walks ahead of the farmer spouting an animated sales pitch in a queer, unintelligible language. A voice calls out from one of the huge holes that form the homestead. Luke goes over to the edge and sees his Aunt Beru standing in the main courtyard.
Beru said, "Luke, tell Owen that if he gets a translator to be sure it speaks Bocce."
Luke said, "it looks like we don't have much of a choice but I'll remind him."
Luke returns to his uncle as they look over the equipment for sale with the Jawa leader.
Owen said, "I have no need for a protocol droid."
C3-P0 said, "Sir, not in an environment such as this; that's why I've also been programmed for over thirty secondary functions that…."
"What I really need is a droid that understands the binary language of moisture vaporators", Owen said.
"Vaporators! Sir- My first job was programming binary load lifters; very similar to your vaporators. You could say-", C3-P0 said.
Owen asked, "do you speak Bocce?"
C3-P0 said, "of course I can, sir. It's like a second language for me…. I'm as fluent in Bocce-"
Owen interrupted, "alright shut up! I'll take this one."
C3-P0 said, "shutting up, sir."
Owen told Luke, "Luke, take these two over to the garage, will you? I want you to have both of them cleaned up before dinner."
Luke said, "but I was going into Toshi Station to pick up some power converters…."
Owen said, "you can waste time with your friends when your chores are done. Now come on, get to it!"
"All right, come on! And the red one, come on. Well, come on, Red, let's go", Luke said.
The red droid and Threepio follow Luke as R2 tries to waddle after them.
Lola is able to fly to C3-P0, since she didn't get a bolt!
As the Jawas start to lead the three remaining robots back into the Sandcrawler, R2 lets out a pathetic little beep and starts after his old friend C3-P0. He is restrained by a slimy Jawa, who zaps him with a control box. Owen is negotiating with the head Jawa. Luke and the two robots start off for the garage when a plate pops off the head of the red astro-droid's head plate and it sparks wildly.
Luke said, "Uncle Owen…."
Owen asked, "yeah?"
Luke said, "this Artoo unit has a bad motivator. Look!"
Owen says to the head Jawa, "hey, what're you trying to push on us?"
The Jawa goes into a loud spiel. Meanwhile, R2 has sneaked out of line and is moving up and down trying to attract attention. He lets out with a low whistle.
Threepio taps Luke on the shoulder and says, "excuse me, sir, but that R2 unit is in prime condition. A real bargain."
Lola keeps quiet as she hides behind C3-P0.
Luke said, "Uncle Owen…."
Owen asked, "yeah?"
Luke pointed to R2 and said, "what about that one?
Owen said, "what about that blue one? We'll take that one."
With a little reluctance the scruffy dwarf trades the damaged astro-droid for R2.
Luke said, "yeah, take it away."
C3-P0 said, "uh, I'm quite sure you'll be very pleased with that one, sir. He really is in first-class condition. I've worked with him before. Here he comes."
Owen pays off the whining Jawa as Luke and the two robots trudge off toward a grimy homestead entry.
"Okay, let's go", Luke said.
"Now, don't you forget this! Why I should stick my neck out for you is quite beyond my capacity", C3-P0 said to R2.
Lola bumps into C3-P0's head as she lands on R2's head.
….
Later….
The garage is cluttered and worn, but a friendly peaceful atmosphere permeates the low gray chamber. Threepio lowers himself into a large tub filled with warm oil. Near the battered Landspeeder little Artoo rests on a large battery with a cord to his face as Lola flutters about.
C3-P0 said, "thank the maker! This oil bath is going to feel so good. I've got such a bad case of dust contamination, I can barely move!"
Luke seems to be lost in thought as he runs his hand over the damaged fin of a small two-man Skyhopper spaceship resting in a low hangar off the garage. Finally Luke's frustrations get the better of him and he slams a wrench across the workbench.
Luke said, "it just isn't fair. Oh, Biggs is right. I'm never gonna get out of here!"
C3-P0 asked, "is there anything I might do to help?"
Luke glances at the battered robot. A bit of his anger drains and a tiny smile creeps across his face and he says, "well, not unless you can alter time, speed up the harvest, or teleport me off this rock!"
C3-P0 said, "I don't think so, sir. I'm only a droid and not very knowledgeable about such things. Not on this planet, anyways. As a matter of fact, I'm not even sure which planet I'm on."
Luke said, "well, if there's a bright center to the universe, you're on the planet that it's farthest from."
"I see sir", C3-P0 said.
"Uh, you can call me Luke", Luke said.
"I see, sir Luke", C3-P0 said.
"Just Luke", Luke said with a laugh.
Lola chitters as Luke finally notices her.
He said, "well hello there. Where'd you come from?"
"Oh, that is Lola, she is a toy droid and a companion of me and my friend", C3-P0 explained.
Luke said, "guess the Jawa's didn't see her."
"With that small size, she is perfect at hiding", C3-P0 said.
Luke simply nods and asks, "and what's your name?"
C3-P0 said, "I am See-Threepio, human-cyborg relations, and this is my counterpart, Artoo-Detoo."
Luke said to R2, "hello."
R2 beeps in response. Luke unplugs R2 and begins to scrape several connectors on the robot's head with a chrome pick. C3-P0 climbs out of the oil tub and begins wiping oil from his bronze body.
Luke said, "you got a lot of carbon scoring here. It looks like you guys have seen a lot of action."
C3-P0 said, "with all we've been through, sometimes I'm amazed we're in as good condition as we are, what with the Rebellion and all."
Luke asked in shock, "you know of the Rebellion against the Empire?"
C3-P0 said, "that's how we came to be in your service, if you take my meaning, sir."
Luke asked, "have you been in many battles?"
C3-P0 said, "several, I think. Actually, there's not much to tell. I'm not much more than an interpreter, and not very good at telling stories. Well, not at making them interesting, anyways."
Luke struggles to remove a small metal fragment from R2's neck joint. He uses a larger pick.
Luke said, "well, my little friend, you've got something jammed in here real good. Were you on a cruiser or-"
The fragment breaks loose with a snap, sending Luke tumbling head over heels. He sits up and sees a twelve-inch three- dimensional hologram of Leia Organa, the Rebel senator, being projected from the face of little R2. The image is a rainbow of colors as it flickers and jiggles in the dimly lit garage. Luke's mouth hangs open in awe.
"Help me Obi Wan and Sam Kenobi. You're my only hope", the hologram of Leia said.
Luke asked, "what's this?"
R2 looks around and sheepishly beeps an answer for C3-P0 to translate. Leia continues to repeat the sentence fragment over and over.
C3-P0 asked, "what is what?! He asked you a question…. What is that?"
R2 whistles his surprise as he pretends to just notice the hologram. He looks around and sheepishly beeps an answer for C3-P0 to translate. Leia continues to repeat the sentence fragment over and over.
"Help me, Obi Wan and Sam Kenobi. You're my only hope. Help me, Obi Wan and Sam Kenobi. You're my only hope."
"Oh, he says it's nothing, sir. Merely a malfunction. Old data. Pay it no mind", C3-P0 said.
Lola beeped at the two droids in annoyance.
"Who is she? She's beautiful", Luke said.
Lola let out an uncomfortable beep.
C3-P0 said, "I'm afraid I'm not quite sure, sir. I think she was a passenger on our last voyage. A person of some importance, sir, I believe. Our captain was attached to…."
Luke asked, "is there more to this recording?"
Luke reaches out for R2 but he lets out several frantic squeaks and a whistle.
C3-P0 said, "behave yourself, Artoo. You're going to get us in trouble. It's all right, you can trust him. He's our new master."
R2 whistles and beeps a long message to C3-P0.
C3-P0 said, "he says he's an old friend of Obi Wan Kenobi, a resident of these parts. And it's a private message for him and his son, Sam Kenobi. Quite frankly, sir, I don't know what he's talking about. But with what we've been through, this little Artoo unit has become a bit eccentric."
Luke asked, "Obi Wan and Sam Kenobi? I wonder if he means old Ben Kenobi and his family?"
C3-P0 asked, "I beg your pardon, sir, but do you know what he's talking about?"
Luke said, "well, I don't know anyone named Obi Wan, but old Ben lives out beyond the dune sea with his wife and two kids, Alec and Satine. He's kind of a strange old man. I wonder who she is. It sounds like she's in trouble. I'd better play back the whole thing."
R2 beeps something to C3-P0.
"He says the restraining bolt has short circuited his recording system. He suggests that if you remove the bolt, he might be able to play back the entire recording", C3-P0 said.
Luke looks longingly at the lovely, little princess and hasn't really heard what Threepio has been saying.
"Hmmm? Oh, yeah, well, I guess you're too small to run away on me if I take this off! Okay", Luke said.
Luke takes a wedged bar and pops the restraining bolt off R2's side.
"There you go", Luke said.
The princess disappears.
Luke said, "well, wait a minute. Where'd she go? Bring her back! Play back the entire message."
R2 beeps an innocent reply as Threepio sits up in embarrassment.
C3-P0 asked, "what message? The one you're carrying inside your rusty innards!"
Beru's voice calls out from another room, "Luke? Luke! Come to dinner!"
Luke stands up and shakes his head at the malfunctioning robot.
Luke said, "alright, I'll be right there, Aunt Beru."
"I'm sorry, sir, but he appears to have picked up a slight flutter", C3-P0 said.
Luke tosses Artoo's restraining bolt on the workbench and hurries out of the room.
"Well, see what you can do with him. I'll be right back", Luke said.
Luke leaves as C3-P0 says to R2, "just you reconsider playing that message for him."
R2 beeps in response.
C3-P0 said, "no, I don't think he likes you at all."
R2 beeps.
C3-P0 said, "no, I don't like you either."
R2 beeps sadly as Lola bumps into C3-P0's head.
….
In the dining room….
Luke's Aunt Beru fills a pitcher with blue fluid from a refrigerated container in the well-used kitchen. She puts the pitcher on a tray with some bowls of food and starts for the dining area.
Luke sits with his Uncle Owen before a table covered with steaming bowls of food as Aunt Beru carries in a bowl of red grain.
"You know, I think that the Artoo unit we bought might have been stolen", Luke said.
Owen asked, "what makes you think that?"
"Well, I stumbled across a recording while I was cleaning him. He says he belongs to some people called Obi Wan and Sam Kenobi", Luke said.
Owen is greatly alarmed at the mention of the names, but manages to control himself.
Luke said, "I thought he might have meant old Ben and his family. Do you know what he's talking about? Well, I wonder if they're related to Ben."
Owen said, "that old man's just a crazy old wizard. Tomorrow I want you to take that Artoo unit into Anchorhead and have its memory flushed. That'll be the end of it. It belongs to us now."
Luke asked, "but what if this Obi Wan or Sam come looking for him?"
Owen said, "they won't, I don't think Obi Wan exists any more. He died about the same time as your father."
Luke asked, "they knew my father?"
"I told you to forget it. Your only concern is to prepare the new droids for tomorrow. In the morning I want them on the south ridge working out those condensers", Owen said.
"Yes, sir. I think those new droids are going to work out fine. In fact, I, uh, was also thinking about our agreement about my staying on another season. And if these new droids do work out, I want to transmit my application to the Academy this year", Luke said.
Owen asked, "you mean the next semester before harvest?"
Luke said, "sure, there're more than enough droids."
Owen said, "the harvest is when I need you the most. Only one more season. This year we'll make enough on the harvest so I'll be able to hire some more hands. And then you can go to the Academy next year."
Luke continues to toy with his food, not looking at his uncle.
Owen said, "you must understand I need you here, Luke."
Luke said, "but it's a whole 'nother year."
Owen said, "look, it's only one more season."
Luke pushes his half-eaten plate of food aside and stands as he says, "yeah, that's what you said last year when Biggs and Tank left."
Beru asked, "where are you going?"
"It looks like I'm going nowhere. I have to finish cleaning those droids", Luke said.
Resigned to his fate, Luke paddles out of the room. Owen mechanically finishes his dinner.
Beru said, "Owen, he can't stay here forever. Most of his friends have gone. It means so much to him."
Owen said, "I'll make it up to him next year. I promise."
Beru said, "Luke's just not a farmer, Owen. He has too much of his father in him. And his brother."
Owen said, "that's what I'm afraid of."
The giant twin suns of Tatooine slowly disappear behind a distant dune range. Luke stands watching them for a few moments, then reluctantly enters the doomed entrance to the homestead.
Luke enters the garage to discover the robots nowhere in sight. He takes a small control box from his utility belt similar to the one the Jawas were carrying. He activates the box, which creates a low hum, and C3-P0, letting out a short yell, pops up from behind the Skyhopper spaceship.
Luke asked, "what are you doing hiding there?"
C3-P0 stumbles forward, but R2 and Lola are still nowhere in sight.
C3-P0 said, "it wasn't my fault, sir. Please don't deactivate me. I told them not to go, but they're both faulty, malfunctioning; kept babbling on about their mission."
Luke said, "oh no!"
Luke races out of the garage followed by C3-P0.
Luke rushes out of the small doomed entry to the homestead and searches the darkening horizon for the small triped Astromech and toy droid. Threepio struggles out of the homestead and on the salt flat as Luke scans the landscape with his electrobinoculars.
C3-P0 said, "Lola and that R2 unit have always been a problem. These astro-droids are getting quite out of hand. Even I can't understand their logic at times."
"How could I be so stupid? They're nowhere in sight. Blast it", Luke said.
C3-P0 asked, "pardon me, sir, but couldn't we go after them?"
"It's too dangerous with all the Sandpeople around. We'll have to wait until morning", Luke said.
"Luke! I'm shutting the power down for the night", Owen yelled from the homestead plaza.
"Alright, I'll be there in a few minutes. Boy, am I gonna get it", Luke said.
He takes one final look across the dim horizon.
He then said, "you know those little droids are going to cause me a lot of trouble."
C3-P0 said, "oh, they excel at that, sir."
….
The next morning….
It slowly creeps into the sparse but sparkling oasis of the open courtyard. The idyll is broken by the yelling of Owen, his voice echoing throughout the homestead.
"Luke? Luke? Luke? Where could he be loafing now", Owen asked.
The interior of the kitchen is a worm glow as Aunt Beru prepares the morning breakfast. Owen enters in a huff.
Owen asked, "have you seen Luke this morning?"
"He said he had some things to do before he started today, so he left early", Beru said.
Owen asked, "huh? Did he take those two new droids with him?"
"I think so", Beru said.
"Well, he'd better have those units in the south range repaired by midday or there'll be Hell to pay", Owen said.
….
The rock and sand of the desert floor are a blur as C3-P0 pilots the sleek landspeeder gracefully across the vast wasteland.
Luke leans over the back of the speeder and adjusts something in the motor compartment.
Luke yelled, "how's that?"
C3-P0 signals that it is fine and Luke turns back into the wind-whipped cockpit and pops the canopy shut.
Luke said, "the Kenobi family lives out in this direction somewhere, but I don't see how that Artoo unit or Lola could have come this far. We must have missed them. Uncle Owen isn't going to take this very well."
C3-P0 asked, "Sir, would it help if you told him it was my fault?"
Luke said, "sure. He needs you. He'd probably only deactivate you for a day or so…."
C3-P0 exclaimed, "deactivate! Well, on the other hand if you hadn't removed his restraining bolt…."
Luke said, "wait, there's something dead ahead on the scanner. It looks like our droids…. Hit the accelerator!"
From high on a rock mesa, the tiny Landspeeder can be seen gliding across the desert floor. Suddenly in the foreground two weather-beaten Sandpeople shrouded in their grimy desert cloaks peer over the edge of the rock mesa. One of the marginally human creatures raises a long ominous laser rifle and points it at the speeder but the second creature grabs the gun before it can be fired.
The Sandpeople, or Tusken Raiders as they're sometimes called, speak in a coarse barbaric language as they get into an animated argument. The second Tusken Raider seems to get in the final word and the nomads scurry over the rocky terrain.
The Tusken Raider approaches two large Banthas standing tied to a rock. The monstrous, bear-like creatures are as large as elephants, with huge red eyes, tremendous looped horns, and long, furry, dinosaur-like tails. The Tusken Raiders mount saddles strapped to the huge creatures' shaggy backs and ride off down the rugged bluff.
The speeder is parked on the floor of a massive canyon. Luke, with his long laser rifle slung over his shoulder, stands before little R2 and Lola.
Luke said, "hey, whoa, just where do you think you're going?"
The little droids whistle and beep a feeble pair of replies, as Threepio poses menacingly behind the little runaways.
He said, "Master Luke here is your rightful owner. We'll have no more of this Obi Wan or Sam Kenobi gibberish…. And don't talk to me about your mission, either. You're fortunate he doesn't blast you both into a million pieces right here."
Luke said, "well, come on. It's getting late. I only hope we can get back before Uncle Owen really blows up."
C3-P0 said, "if you don't mind my saying so, sir, I think you should deactivate the little fugitives until you've gotten them back to your workshop."
Luke said, "no, they're not going to try anything."
Suddenly, the little robots jump to life with a mass of frantic whistles and screams.
Luke asked, "what's wrong with them now?"
C3-P0 said, "oh my…. Sir, they say there are several creatures approaching from the southeast."
Luke swings his rifle into position and looks to the south as he says, "Sandpeople! Or worst! Come on, let's have a look. Come on."
Luke carefully makes his way to the top of a rock ridge and scans the canyon with his electrobinoculars. He spots the two riderless Banthas. C3-P0 struggles up behind the young adventurer.
"There are two Banthas down there but I don't see any…. Wait a second, they're Sandpeople all right. I can see one of them now", Luke said.
Luke watches the distant Tusken Raider through his electrobinoculars. Suddenly something huge moves in front of his field of view. Before Luke or Threepio can react, a large, gruesome Tusken Raider looms over them. Threepio is startled and backs away, right off the side of the cliff. He can be heard for several moments as he clangs, bangs and rattles down the side of the mountain.
The towering creature brings down his curved, double-pointed gaderffii; the dreaded axe blade that has struck terror in the heart of the local settlers. But Luke manages to block the blow with his laser rifle, which is smashed to pieces. The terrified farm boy scrambles backward until he is forced to the edge of a deep crevice. The sinister Raider stands over him with his weapon raised and lets out a horrible shrieking laugh.
R2 and Lola force themselves into the shadows of a small alcove in the rocks as the vicious Sandpeople walk past carrying the inert Luke, who is dropped in a heap before the speeder. The Sandpeople ransack the speeder, throwing parts and supplies in all directions. Suddenly they stop. Then everything is quiet for a few moments. A pair of great howling moans is heard echoing throughout the canyon, which sends the Sandpeople fleeing in terror.
R2 moves even tighter into the shadows as the slight swishing sound that frightened off the Sandpeople grows even closer, until two familiar faces come over and lean over Luke.
It's Sam and Ben Kenobi!
Ben squints his eyes as he scrutinizes the unconscious farm boy. R2 makes a slight sound and Ben and Sam turn and look right at him.
Ben said, "hello there."
Sam said, "come here, little friend. Don't be afraid."
That's when Lola recognises them!
Lola flew over to them and she snuggled against Sam's cheek, beeping in joy.
Sam said, "Lola! Hey! It's so good to see you! I haven't seen you in years."
Lola beeped in joy.
R2 beeped in concern at Luke.
Ben said, "don't worry, he'll be alright."
Luke groaned as he woke up and said, "what happened?"
Ben said, "rest easy, son, you've had a busy day."
Sam said, "you're fortunate you're still
in one piece."
Luke said, "Ben? Alec! Boy, am I glad to see you two!"
Ben said, "the Jundland wastes are not to be traveled lightly."
Sam said, "tell us Luke, what brings you out this far?"
Luke said, "oh, these little droids! I think they're searching for their old friends…. I've never seen such devotion in droids before…. There seems to be no stopping them. They claim to be the friends of Obi Wan and Sam Kenobi. Are they relatives of yours? Do you know who they're talking about?"
Ben and Sam give chilled looks. As if the mentioning of their real names brought forth tons of memories.
"Obi Wan Kenobi…. Obi Wan? Now that's a name I haven't heard in a long time…. A long time", Ben said.
Luke said, "I think my uncle knew him. He said he was dead."
Sam said, "oh, he's far from dead."
Luke asked, "you know them?"
Ben said, "well of course, of course I know him. He's me! I haven't gone by the name Obi Wan since, oh, before my daughter was born."
Luke asked Sam, "then that means?"
Sam said, "I'm Sam."
Luke said, "then the droids do know you?"
"Yep", Sam said as Lola continued to nuzzle against his cheek.
Sam and Obi Wan suddenly look up at the overhanging cliffs.
Obi Wan said, "I think we better get indoors. The Sandpeople are easily startled but they will soon be back and in greater numbers."
Luke sits up and rubs his head. R2 lets out a pathetic beep causing Luke to remember something.
He looks around and yells, "Threepio!"
Little R2 stands at the edge of a large sand pit and begins to chatter away in electronic whistles and beeps. Luke and Ben stand over a very dented and tangled Threepio lying half buried in the sand. One of his arms has broken off.
Luke tries to revive the inert robot by shaking him and then flips a hidden switch on his back several times until finally the mechanical man's systems turn on.
C3-P0 asked, "where am I? I must have taken a bad step…."
Sam asked, "can you stand? We've gotta get out of here before the Sandpeople return.
C3-P0 said, "I don't think I can make it. You go on, Master Luke. There's no sense in you risking yourself on my account. I'm done for.
R2 makes a beeping sound.
Luke said, "no, you're not. What kind of talk is that?
Luke and Ben help the battered robot to his feet. Little R2 watches from the top of the pit. Obi Wan glances around suspiciously. Sensing something, he stands up and sniffs the air.
Obi Wan said, "quickly…. They're on the move…."
Obi Wan and Sam began to lead Luke and the droids back to their home...
….
Reviews:
SuperSentai199: same, I'm really happy with this chapter, and how evil we made Malakis.
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