January 24th, 2020.
Chris McLean looked forlornly at his Chris-A-Day calendar. Today was a picture of Chris Underwood. Chris grumbled and walked across his bedroom to retrieve a cigar box. Within the box were a few joints and a cheap lighter, nothing more. Chris took one, lit it, and climbed onto his bed. He turned on the television and cued something up.
Welcome back to Total Drama Alpha Party!
Hiii!
In the last episode, we brought our campers to the mineshaft. Their mission: to retrieve a Gilded Chris from Ezekiel's lair.
How and when did we even get him there?
Oh, he's been there all season!
Chris chuckled halfheartedly. "God, it's not fair. Ratings weren't even low, it was just the damn budget."
Chris took more than a puff of his joint. He was barely watching the show he'd put on. It was just noise to help him space out.
The last season of Total Drama, Total Drama Shuffle Party, was filmed in 2016. The budget was already tight for that one, probably not helped by lawsuits catching up to the show, Topher's big virtual reality machine, and the waning interest in the show to begin with. Though the season didn't perform poorly, it didn't impress as much as previous seasons had, and the network was not able to put together enough money to fund another season. Chris was told that the show was on "hiatus until further notice".
"Tch. Yeah. The Black Eyed Peas are on 'hiatus'," Chris scoffed apropos of nothing but his own thoughts. "We should have gotten royalties from Godfrey and Ginger's stupid company. We basically paid them to advertise themselves. It's not fucking fair."
Chris barely registered that his phone was vibrating. Once he did, it still took him a second or two to pull it out of his pocket and answer it. He paused the show he'd been watching. "Whazzup?"
"Chris. Long time no speak," came a voice through the phone.
"Who the hell is this?" Chris asked warily.
"What, you don't remember your best pal Mr. Nelson?" the voice taunted.
"Mr. Nelson...? From Total Drama?!" Chris asked in disbelief.
"Aw, so you do remember," Nelson said in faux flattery.
"What the hell do you want, Nelson?" Chris asked, annoyed.
"You might want to drop the attitude. Topher finally sold his VR machine and wants to put the money towards funding a new season," Nelson explained.
"Of course he has. Why do you feel the need to tell me this?" Chris scowled.
A second of silence passed before a new voice came from the phone. "Yo, Mr. McLean!"
"Ugh. Hello, Topher," Chris groaned.
"You're on speakerphone," Nelson informed.
"Chris, buddy, we want you on this new season with us!" Topher said enthusiastically. "After all, I've only met two-fifths of the contestants."
"...I don't get it," Chris said.
"Oh, shoot, we didn't tell you. It's All-Stars!" Topher gushed. "We're thinking of bringing back twenty contestants from the Party era. Four from each season."
"We're just ignoring old-school contestants?" Chris asked in disbelief. "What about old fan favorites like Duncan or Jasmine?"
"Most if not all of them have expressed zero interest in returning. I can't say I'm shocked considering how reckless the show was with contestant safety back then," Nelson said. "Of course, the production and hosting team will include two older fan favorites."
"Two...?" Chris asked. "Wait a minute-"
"Can I talk now?" came a female voice.
"You just did," Nelson said flatly.
"Lindsay?" Chris asked.
"Yes! They can afford to have me back this season!" Lindsay chirped.
"Not a bad production team, wouldn't you say?" Nelson mentioned.
"Wait, what happened to Lynch and Vex?" Chris asked.
"Lynch retired, and Vex found a job at another network," Nelson explained. "Don't sound too disappointed, Sunshine. Everyone knows you want this. Everyone knows you want to be back out there, hosting Total Drama."
Chris looked at the paused screen on his television. The man on TV looked elated to be there.
"When do you want me to meet up with you?" Chris asked.
"Next Monday," Nelson told him. "You know the place."
"I'll be there," Chris said. "After all, it's not like the show can go on without the host with the most." Chris grinned.
Chris pushed open the double doors of the meeting room with purpose before striding on in. Nelson, Topher, and Lindsay were already seated at the table.
"Ah, Christopher. Just as extra as ever, I see," Topher commented.
"You're one to talk. I see you're still overcompensating with that hairdo of yours," Chris shot back.
"At least I still have hair," Topher provoked.
"Oh, that does it!" Chris snapped.
"Guyyyyys!" Lindsay whined. "It had better not be like this all season with you two!"
"As long as it doesn't get out of hand, I actually think that bickering between hosts like this would make for good television," Nelson chuckled.
"Yeah, that's right, you said Topher and Lindsay would be on the hosting team?" Chris mentioned as he sat down.
"Obviously, the two have the experience, and the two are well-liked," Nelson confirmed. "The idea was for you to be our main host, Topher to be secondary, and Lindsay to be tertiary. Each of the three of you can act as official administrators and television personalities as needed, but the hierarchy will be clear."
"I, for one, am honored to play second fiddle to the one and only Chris McLean," Topher claimed.
"Does that make me the clarinet?" Lindsay asked.
"Anyway, now that that's established, we need to establish how the game itself will work," Nelson continued.
"Do we have a location in mind?" Chris asked. "I wouldn't even mind going back to Neo Wawanakwa or the Tuinga Islands or something."
"We had to liquidate those assets in order to help generate funding," Nelson said.
"You make it sound so small-scale!" Chris pointed out. "Wait, we're not holding another one in my mansion again, are we?"
"Relax. We have a new location," Nelson told him. He turned on a projector above him, and a display appeared behind him. The display showcased a small city with buildings of all shapes and sizes, paved streets, and even a few parks and open grassy areas.
"Where is this?" Chris asked.
"This is actually some real estate in the middle of Saskatchewan that we've been sitting on in case we wanted to use it as a new location for a new season," Nelson explained.
"Definitely panned out, sir. Nice thinking," Topher flattered.
"We're calling it 'Drama City'," Nelson said proudly.
"Like the network for Korean drama shows?" Lindsay asked.
"We were calling it that first, I promise," Nelson insisted, annoyed. "Anyway, the contestants will reside in shoddy motels initially, and work their way up to better living conditions as they perform well and make it farther in the game. The city will provide a lot of space for all kinds of challenges to take place, a few amenities to keep the contestants occupied, and we even have an entire area set aside to bring back the exile twist from our previous all-stars season."
"I always did feel like that twist was underutilized," Chris nodded.
"Speaking of Isolation Park - that's where exile will take place - we're also thinking of bringing back hidden statues," Nelson said.
"Those really shaped people's strategies in Alpha Party!" Lindsay gasped.
"The ones this season won't be as overpowered as they were in that season, but we have ideas," Nelson said. "We're going to hide them all around Isolation Park, and each one is going to be in the image of a different Party-era winner and will have its own effect. The Godfrey statue, for example, might double the value of the vote you cast. The David statue might give your team an advantage in the challenge - or just you if it's an individual challenge. Stuff like that."
"Interesting," Chris nodded.
"And there will only be one of each this season; no re-hiding them after they're played. So we don't have to worry about statues dictating all the results like in other, inferior reality game shows," Nelson boasted.
"Smart move," Topher grinned. "Five statues altogether for the season sounds good."
"This is great and all, but who are we bringing back?" Chris asked impatiently.
"Awwww, you missed everyone, didn't you?" Lindsay cooed.
"I did not! I'm just, you know, interested in what kind of dynamics will happen," Chris insisted.
"We're still discussing potential themes," Nelson admitted. "I still think we should give heroes versus villains another shake."
"Naw, man. That's old hat," Topher disagreed. "Besides, the idea of having heroes or villains in a reality game is outdated. Everyone's making sneaky moves, everyone's got some kind of depth. Nobody's really a hero or villain anymore."
"I wouldn't say nobody," Lindsay frowned. "People like Hugh and Fauna were definitely villains. And people like Quentin and Amelie were definitely heroes."
"I will say right off the bat that Fauna will not be returning," Nelson said firmly.
"Aww, come on, she was funny," Chris laughed. "I agree, though, that I'm not sure how much I like the idea of heroes versus villains. That's going to count out a bunch of people who don't really fall under either. And besides, there's going to be that obnoxious debate over who really 'deserves' to be called a hero or villain, or who should have taken a spot on that team instead. To this day I'm getting no end of grief from people who think I should have put Courtney on the Villainous Vultures from the start, or gotten Brick or Dawn to come back and be on the Heroic Hamsters instead of Sierra and Sam."
"Lindsay, you were actually a participant in that season. Any input?" Topher asked.
"I was?" Lindsay asked.
"Heh heh. Fair enough. I'd like to forget that travesty of a season as well," Topher laughed.
"I definitely think we should avoid subjective labels," Chris reiterated. "How about a good old-fashioned battle of the sexes? Weren't we thinking of having a Party season like that before the budget fell through?"
"Hm, maybe," Nelson considered.
"Oh! I might have an idea!" Lindsay announced.
"What is it?" Nelson asked.
"Well, okay, it was actually Beth's idea. You remember Beth," Lindsay prefaced. "She and I were talking about the show one time, and she thought it'd be neat if there was a season where people who've made it to the merge faced off against people who never did."
"That did get kind of muddy with the Season One cast participating in so many seasons, but all of the Party casts have only played once..." Topher thought aloud. "That count be interesting! There were a lot of people who, I feel like, were shafted before they could play in the merge. Plus, we'd still get to bring back fan favorites who did make the merge!"
"There could be something there," Nelson nodded. "The dynamic of underdogs looking for their second chance versus players that the fans already know and love... Yes, that will definitely bring in viewership!"
"You said four people from each Party season, right?" Chris mentioned. "That makes it easy! One boy and one girl who was voted out pre-merge, and one boy and one girl who did make it to the merge. Do that for all five seasons. Bam! We've got a cast!"
"We are definitely onto something, here!" Nelson said excitedly.
"Although, do any of us particularly know a whole lot about the House Party cast?" Chris asked.
"Didn't you watch that season?" Topher asked in disbelief.
"Only once, to see what I'd missed," Chris admitted. "I've got to be honest: watching a season hosted by my kidnapper while I was tied up in that very house wasn't particularly thrilling."
"...I suppose this was going to come to light at some point," Nelson hesitated.
"What?" Chris asked. "Tell me you're not."
"Not as a host, or a producer. Just as a chef," Nelson said. "Of course, we were planning on asking for his input in who from House Party to invite, since he's the only one among us with much firsthand experience with them."
"Why is this necessary?!" Chris snapped.
"Chris, it'll be alright," Lindsay assured him. "He can't hurt you anymore."
"That's what I thought the first time," Chris said bereftly. "Let's just move on. Loser accommodations. What's the plan?"
"We're actually planning on bringing back another idea we've dropped in the past," Nelson grinned. "The Aftermath show! Ousted contestants, as well as the studio itself, will be located about a forty-five-minute drive from Drama City. There will also be basic accommodations there, not dissimilar to the shoddy hotels in Drama City."
"Who will host the Aftermath show?" Chris asked.
"We've got ideas," Nelson assured him. "The hosts will, of course, not be participating in the season, but we'll see who we can get to do it."
"Ooh! Can other old contestants who aren't playing show up as guests?" Lindsay proposed.
"That was another idea we had," Nelson smiled. "This season is meant to be a celebration of what we've done these past few seasons. We'd be remiss not to hear from as many contestants as we can, especially since it's been a few years since our last season."
"That leads us to the big question," Chris decided. "Who will be our twenty contestants in this season?"
Five Months Later...
A van pulled up to the city limits of Drama City. Chris, Nelson, Topher, and Lindsay stepped out.
"Damn. It's nicer in person," Chris admitted.
"I told you this would be a worthwhile investment," Nelson said proudly.
A police vehicle pulled up behind the van. A police officer escorted its passenger out of the back: a large, imposing man in handcuffs.
"Chef. Long time no see," Chris glared.
"It's. Hatchet," the man growled.
"It's Chef," Nelson told the man smugly. "Be grateful that we allowed you this opportunity. We had every reason not to."
"Anythin' to break up the damn monotony of prison." Chef spit on the ground.
"Hi, Chef! It's me, Lindsay!" Lindsay greeted sunnily.
"Let's just get me to my work station," Chef groaned.
The officer undid Chef's handcuffs. "If you feel any need to remove him from the premises, let me know immediately," she told the producers.
"Will do. Thanks, Officer Pelly!" Topher acknowledged.
The officer returned to her vehicle and drove off.
"Well, then," Nelson smirked. "Shall we begin?"
The five entered the city limits of Drama City
I was certainly shocked to be asked back for another season. I didn't think they were bringing back old contestants anymore. At the end of my last season, I was asked if I ever wanted to play this game again. I wasn't sure at the time, but as soon as I got home, I knew for a fact that I did. I certainly haven't figured out much else I'd rather do with my life. Heh.
The staff entered a golf cart, and Nelson began to drive them around. He eventually settled at a run-down looking motel with two stories.
"This is where the contestants will be staying, I presume?" Topher guessed.
"Correct," Nelson confirmed. "Of course, they will be able to earn more accommodating lodging if they perform well in the game. Let us visit one room as an example."
The five exited the golf cart and approached the nearest door. All the doors had cheap nameplates to indicate whose room was whose. Nelson took a master key card from his pocket and used it to unlock and open the door.
Man, I really lucked out getting invited to play Total Drama again. Haha. I guess I'd better take full advantage of the opportunity. I'm sure there are a lot of people who wish they were in my position, and I don't want to waste what someone else could have done more with. Mostly I just hope I don't get screwed over by a statue again.
Inside the motel room was a twin-sized bed, a nightstand, a closet, and a restroom.
"Fancy," Chris remarked.
"Obviously, living in relative squalor ought to push the contestants into doing whatever they can to make their way up in the Total Drama world," Nelson responded.
"So the rich keep gettin' richer," Chef commented.
"So success is rewarded," Nelson insisted. "And even if someone spends the entire premerge in this hotel room, it's still perfectly feasible shelter with anything they'll need. Unless they need electricity or air conditioning for 24 hours. That only lasts from 9 am to 12 am at the motel."
"Excellent cost-saving measure, Mr. Nelson," Topher complimented.
Going out and playing this game the first time was a bigger step for me than I wish it was. I've never been a people person, and I've definitely never been a physically active person. Of course... I did meet my husband on this show, and he knows how much I enjoyed playing the first time, even though he never played it himself. Maybe I'll even win this time. Wouldn't that be something?
The group had exited the motel and hopped back into the golf cart. Nelson drove them.
"Our next stop will be Hatchet's Diner," Nelson informed the others.
"No shit?" Chef asked. "I get a whole-ass diner?"
"Of course. It fits with the city aesthetic nicely, I think," Nelson said. "We've even got ingredients stocked and menu ideas, which you are free to use or not at your own discretion."
"Huh. Certainly ain't the worst gig I've had on this show," Chef said.
"What would you say was the worst?" Topher asked. "You didn't get to do a whole lot on Pahkitew Island, but at the tail end of Action you threatened to quit..."
"Whichever season you first showed up was," Chef spat.
"Pahkitew, interesting, interesting," Topher nodded.
I can see it now! I become Total Drama's latest winner, and get that blue ribbon! I'm so excited to be back. The last time I played didn't really end on the highest note, and, it's a cliche to say it, but it did leave me feeling rather blue. But the sky's the limit on my second chance! I'll show the world not to underestimate me!
The golf cart parked in a parking lot in front of a medium-sized building with a neon sign in front of it. The sign, naturally, said "Hatchet's Diner" in neon letters, and had a stylized picture of Chef, as well as a marquee where one could swap letters in and out.
"I'll be damned. This diner don't look too bad at all," Chef grinned.
"Pretty good treatment for an actual criminal," Chris griped quietly to Lindsay.
"What, and you're not a criminal?" Topher doubted.
"Chris has gotten better," Lindsay told him. "Maybe Chef did, too!"
"Is everythin' already set up?" Chef asked.
"Not everything. The game doesn't begin for a couple more weeks, so you'll have time to arrange everything to your liking," Nelson told him.
"Heheheh. Perfect," Chef chuckled.
Gyarharhar! To be frank, I'd be outright offended if they didn't ask me to come back! Say what ye will about me, but I kept me first season interesting. And I absolutely plan to do the same this go about! I just need to make sure I don't piss the others off too much, and I'll be good as gold! And I quite like gold.
Nelson began to drive the other staff members elsewhere.
"Where to next, Mr. Nelson?" Lindsay asked.
"Not far from Hatchet's Diner is the entrance to Isolation Park," Nelson said.
"That doesn't sound very isolated, brah," Chris pointed out.
"Believe me, Chris, the distance will just be a number," Nelson said. "That reminds me, I've already had a crew member hide the five statues throughout the park."
"Awww. I was hoping I could do it to make up for last time," Lindsay frowned.
"I'll be honest, Lindsay: you putting them all in one spot the last time is the main reason why we got a rando to hide them," Nelson said. "That, and it prevents the contestants from forcing the location of the statues out of you guys."
"Is that a concern?!" Lindsay gasped.
Total Drama was a growing experience for me, above all else. I overcame a pretty major fear that had been holding me back from reaching my greatest potential, but I also learned that you can't trust anyone at face value. Even the dumb ones could be planning to take you out behind your back. I won't be so naive this time.
The golf cart arrived at an area with an incredibly tall and thick metal fence that was lined with barbed wire and had signs which read "Danger! High Voltage!" on them.
"You guys dare me to climb it?" Topher joked.
"Knock yourself out," Chris told him.
"If you guys will follow me inside," Nelson instructed as he exited the vehicle.
The other staff members followed Nelson through a hinged part of the fence. On the other side was a large park with several trees, ponds, fountains and benches all around the place.
"This just looks like a regular-ass park," Chef said.
"In a sense, it is," Nelson conceded. "Of course, there is no lodging or entertainment, nor readily available food or restrooms. The water that will come from the fountain should be safe to drink."
"And the statues?" Chris asked.
"Anyone sent here will have a lot of time to find them. We took that into account when hiding them," Nelson assured him.
You can play a good game of Total Drama and still, like, have everyone underestimate you. I managed to do it, after all. I might have, ya know, taken that for granted, but that's what second chances are for. It's a season full of big players, anyway, right? I think I can, like, pretty easily slip through the cracks, if nothing else.
The staff members returned to the golf cart and drove away.
"By the way, are the contestants going to have access to golf carts like this?" Topher asked curiously.
"We only have the one, I'm afraid, and wouldn't you guys rather make use of it?" Nelson answered.
"Can they use it when we're not using it?" Lindsay asked.
"I want to say yes, but we can't run the risk of them damaging it," Nelson said.
"They're nineteen at the youngest. They should be able to drive without killing themselves," Chris doubted.
"That's easy to say when your daughter hasn't crashed your car," Nelson said bitterly.
"Kids are idiots! I'm with the suit, here!" Chef added.
Things have not gone well for me since I was last on la télévision. I'm sure many of the people who are back to play see this as their second chance at glory, but this may be my second chance at a decent life. But what am I supposed to do when playing a pragmatic game is what got me in hot water in the first place?
The staff arrived at a different park in the center of the city. It didn't look too different from Isolation Park, save for the lack of a fence and the giant statue of Chris in the center.
"This is where everybody will meet up when it is time for a challenge," Nelson explained.
"So, wait, will they be walking everywhere?" Lindsay asked.
"It's not that big of a city," Nelson handwaved. "We could be walking now if I didn't want to get the tour over with more quickly. I want to begin the finishing touches on preparation for this season as soon as possible."
"Makes sense," Topher complied.
"I do like the me statue. Adds a bit of Total Drama flair to an established aesthetic," Chris grinned. "Does this park have a name, too? So I can tell the kids where to meet?"
"We didn't think to give it an official name," Nelson admitted.
"McLean Park, it is!" Chris declared.
Chef snorted.
I am human perfection. There only reason I lost before is that they tried too hard to make the game relevant by completely upending the rules every few rounds. Assuming that this was only a one-time gimmick, I should be able to conquer this season unopposed. And if it isn't a one-time gimmick, then I'll be better prepared for it than most, if not all of the others.
The golf cart began driving elsewhere.
"I have to say, I'm getting more and more excited for all this the more I see of the city," Topher admitted.
"Speak for yourself. I'm just tryna get back to my damn diner," Chef said.
"It's important for you to be acquainted with the city as well, Clay," Nelson said.
"How?" Chef doubted.
"In case your services are needed in an instance where our three hosts are otherwise occupied," Nelson explained.
"Ain't that the point of havin' three hosts? So I don't gotta deal with none of that shit?" Chef questioned.
"Better to have this knowledge and not need it than to need it and not have it," Nelson told him.
"I ain't ever gonna need this knowledge," Chef muttered.
Bro, this is so hype! Back at it on Total Drama, just me and the boys! And a bunch of girls, too. But it's like I always say: 'bro' is a gender-neutral word. I just need to get my head in the game and keep an eye out for any metaphorical hoes out there. Maybe paying more attention to the dynamics of my team wouldn't hurt, either.
The staff arrived at an elaborate building that read "O'Neal Barcade".
"Why is this place named after me?" Topher asked.
"To give it an increased sense of importance," Nelson told him. "Anyway, as I'm sure you gathered, this is a barcade. There will be video games set up as well as board games available in a separate room, as well as a full bar. This establishment will be open to the team who wins the challenge that day, and to everyone, once we hit merge."
"That sounds like so much fun!" Lindsay bubbled.
"Wait, does that mean my diner won't have any booze?!" Chef snapped.
"...Most diners don't," Nelson said flatly. "Of course, staff members will also have access to alcoholic beverages during off-hours."
"Mmmm," Chef nodded, still not fully content.
"That sounds like a good way to get the kids to not focus on the Total Drama game," Chris figured.
"Which could make them more prone to mistakes. Especially when alcohol is involved," Nelson smirked. "You can't tell me it wouldn't make for more interesting television."
"Eh, maybe," Chris accepted.
I'm back, artards! And this time, I'm not just going to be a bad boy. I've outgrown that. I was a full-fledged villain the last time I played. And this time, I'm going to be THE villain. The man pulling all the strings, and the mastermind who will win this game. I dare anyone to try and stop me!
The golf cart set off to its next destination.
"So, Lindsay, how are things with you and Tyler?" Topher asked. "You guys were a fan-favorite couple, you know. No love triangle drama, no awkward dynamics, just cute and wholesome."
"Oh, you know Tyler. Always looking for more reality shows to be in," Lindsay giggled. "We almost played in The Ridonculous Race together, but then my grandpa died and I got super sad and the funeral was at the same time as that season starting. So we're holding off on that for later. He understood."
"I'm just surprised you guys are still together after all this time," Chris said. "I don't think Sam and Dakota are even still together anymore."
"Why not? He couldn't fit it in her?" Chef snickered.
"Geoff and Bridgette got married," Topher pointed out to Chris. "As did several couples from the Party series. It's not so weird."
"I think Tyler wants to propose to me on The Ridonculous Race," Lindsay mentioned. "I can wait. It'll be so cool to get engaged on TV!"
"If you say so," Chris said.
I wasn't able to, um, take as full of charge of my teams as I would have liked. Being on a season full of, um, determined players probably won't make that any easier. But I promised my parents that I could be, um, a capable leader, and I intend to make good on that promise. It'll just take some figuring out, is all.
The golf cart arrived at a skyscraper that read "Blaising Tower" right above the door.
"Hey wait a minute! That's my last name!" Lindsay realized. "Blaising, I mean. Not Tower."
"Again, it helps to give this building a sense of importance," Nelson said. "This is where we'll house the improved living conditions that contestants can work their way up to. We still need to figure out the mechanical specifics of how one can move out of the motel and into Blaising Tower. There will be reward challenges during the first half of the premerge, so that might factor into it."
"Wait, non-elimination episodes? Boring!" Chris objected.
"These contestants don't have as much to prove as a brand-new cast would. The fans might appreciate the extended company of their favorites before they all get voted out," Nelson said. "Besides, it allows them more time to figure out their dynamics... and which dynamics to go against."
"I'll admit I'm skeptical as well, but I won't judge the idea fully before I see it in action," Topher said.
"I guess a non-elimination episode did buy you one whole episode of screentime back on Pahkitew," Chris remarked.
"See, exactly! Excellent idea!" Topher agreed. "Wait..."
Obviously, it'd be foolish to come back to the game under the same persona I adopted during my previous attempt. I managed to get people to mistrust me in only half the time it took some of the other contestants in this game. It took some figuring out, but I have a new mask to don for this season, one that should keep the target off my back.
The staff entered Blaising Tower and entered one of the rooms within. This room was a lot more spacious, with a queen bed, a desk with a notebook and pencils, a sofa, a mini-fridge, a more spacious closet, a more spacious restroom, and a balcony behind a sliding glass door.
"Well, this is definitely an improvement over the motel," Topher mentioned. "I imagine there's 24-hour electricity and air conditioning?"
"Naturally," Nelson nodded.
Chef snorted. "Kids these days don't understand the privileges they got. I ain't had a private shower in six years!"
"And whose fault is that?" Chris glared.
"The system's, goddammit!" Chef maintained.
"Of course, this is not the pinnacle of what Blaising Tower has to offer," Nelson smirked. "If you guys will follow me..."
Nelson led the staff to the elevator. Once they were all inside, he held his key card over the reader and pressed the top floor button.
I can't believe I got invited back to Total Drama! I definitely didn't make as much of a splash on the game as my husband did, and he didn't get invited back. He's really supportive of me coming back, though, just like I would be if he came back and I didn't. Just like last time, I'm ready to conquer this game in the name of love!
On the top floor of Blaising Tower was a penthouse. Empty picture frames lined the walls. There was a small kitchen off to the side with a table and chairs, refrigerator, oven and stove, countertops, etc. To the other side was a bedroom with a king-sized bed, a desk with a notebook and pencil, and a large bathroom connected to it with a hot tub bath and a bidet in addition to the prerequisite shower, toilet, and sink. The bedroom also had a sliding glass door that led to a patio-sized balcony.
"The penthouse!" Nelson announced. "Again, we're still ironing out the kinks on how exactly one will win access to this prestigious room, but it has everything they're ever going to need in a living space. The picture frames will be filled with pictures of friends and family of whoever is staying there at the moment, and there will be a gift basket of the contestant's favorite snacks, as well."
"What's this whole-ass kitchen even for? They ain't gonna have any ingredients!" Chef pointed out.
"Oh, right, the fridge will also be stocked with ingredients for some of their favorite home-cooked meals, and recipes will be provided as well," Nelson explained.
Chef growled.
"Sounds like a hell of a reward," Topher nodded. "I'd pay to live here."
"I imagine we'll be staying in rooms of similar quality," Chris brought up.
"The staff will reside in the upper floors of Blaising Tower below the penthouse," Nelson explained. "These rooms will be identical to the rooms I showed you all previously."
"That's still good," Lindsay smiled.
Prison is a very scary place. I've never been incarcerated, of course, but someone very dear to me has and is. I've been to visit him in person several times over the years, and I can't help but worry about his safety every time I do. Sadly, he isn't able to come back for another season of this show, so I'll do what I can to win this for him.
The staff returned to the golf cart and drove off elsewhere once again.
"Our next stop is where eliminations will take place," Nelson said. "I'm particularly proud of this location."
"What's so great about it?" Lindsay asked innocently.
"Come on, Lindsay, elimination is the heart and soul of Total Drama," Topher claimed. "The tension of where the votes will fall. Not knowing for sure what's going to happen. The knowledge that the dynamics will change irreversibly after the night is over."
"Nerd," Chris jibed.
"You don't agree?" Topher asked. "What is Total Drama but the survival of the fittest?"
"A dumb little game show for children!" Chef insisted. "If y'all ain't ever been out on a real battlefield, don't be talkin' to me about no survival of no fittest!"
"Jealous that you've never had a chance to play Total Drama?" Topher teased.
"What? No! What the hell are you smokin', boy?!" Chef snapped.
Will the odds be in my favor this go around? I sure as hell hope so. I'm definitely not going to give myself the option to vote myself out. I thought having that be a thing would just add to the thrill of the risk factor, and I wanted to hold true to it, but I regretted it the instant I walked out the mansion doors. Of course, that doesn't mean I won't still be adding a touch of randomness to the game.
The staff arrived at a small building.
"This is it?" Chris asked. "This is where we're going to have eliminations?"
"If you'll follow me," Nelson smirked.
Nelson led the others into the building. Once all five were in, Nelson pressed a button on the wall. The door to the building slammed shut, and the staff felt a sense of motion to the room.
"Is this room an elevator?" Chris asked.
"That's right," Nelson confirmed. "This elevator will take us to our underground elimination station."
"That's neat," Lindsay smiled.
The elevator room eventually came to a stop, and the door opened. On the other side of the door was a large round room. The walls met up to the ceiling in a dome shape, and the ceiling was decorated with star designs. In the center of the room were eleven podiums arranged in a circle and facing one another.
"Shiny!" Lindsay said in awe.
Mweeheehee... Can you imagine how upset it must have made some of the others who could have been asked back to play, only for little ol' me to be here instead of them? The very thought makes me quiver with joy. I just hope I can spread a fraction of such unrest to the other contestants. ...I proooooobably can.
"I was a particular fan of the open discussion format that the Robot Chris Trial challenge took in House Party," Nelson said as he and the others walked across the room. "So I decided to apply it to eliminations. Immediately after a challenge, those partaking in elimination will immediately be escorted here and will have to openly discuss who they wish to eliminate if they want to maintain any sort of majority. Throw each other under the bus, call each other out, come to each other's aid. Fun stuff."
"It was one of my prouder moments," Chef boasted.
"And what's going to stop them from talking game outside of the elimination?" Chris asked.
"I'm not trying to completely prevent discrete discussion. Lies and deception are still important in this game," Nelson said. "I can't imagine much will be lost even if not every elimination is as live and active as the robot trial was."
"Have some faith, Chris," Topher insisted. "I, for one, am excited to see how this all pans out."
"Call me a cynic, I guess," Chris shrugged.
Playing Total Drama was a mistake. I was voted out early, I didn't accomplish anything, I didn't make any friends. Sigh... It was still the best experience I've had in recent memory. I can't imagine doing this again will be an overall positive experience, but maybe it won't be a negative experience. Oh, who am I kidding, it probably will.
"So, wait, what's the elimination method, here?" Chris asked. "You can't really transport someone out of an underground room quickly and easily."
"Watch this," Nelson smirked as he pressed a button on the wall.
The domed ceiling opened up, revealing a hole that led above ground. A mechanical rope with a big shackle on the end slithered down and grabbed Chef by the waist.
"What the hell?!" Chef reacted.
The rope pulled Chef up to the surface, and the ceiling closed.
"That rope will drag the loser up to a vehicle which will then drive them to the Aftermath studio," Nelson explained.
"Ooh, dramatic!" Topher gushed with stars in his eyes.
"Are we going to have to pick Chef up from all the way over there?" Chris asked.
"Oh, no, the vehicle isn't currently being driven," Nelson assured him. "We can return above ground, though."
"Good. This place is stuffy as hell," Chris complained.
It was only natural that they brought me back. I am basically the fan-favorite of not just Total Drama, but all of existence. Last time, I was taken out right at the merge for being such a massive threat, but everyone's supposed to be a threat in this one, right? Obviously not as much of a threat as me, but still, the lamers out here should take some of the heat off of me.
The rest of the staff had returned to the surface and approached a nearby van, which was painted black and had star patterns all over it.
"This is the Van of Losers," Nelson said. "Of course, it drags the losers up with the Shackle of Shame. Chef should be in the back right now.
Nelson opened the trunk of the van, where Chef was, indeed, still bound by the shackle, which was wound around a winch.
"Finally! Get me the hell out of this thing!" Chef commanded.
Nelson pressed a button on the winch, which undid the shackle. Topher offered Chef his hand to help him out of the trunk, which Chef refused. The large man stepped out of the trunk and dusted himself off.
"You said it was about a forty-five-minute drive to the Aftermath studio, right?" Chef asked. "Stuck in that trunk? Sadistic bastard. I like it. Give 'em some consequence for failure!"
"Is being taken out of the game not enough of a consequence?" Topher laughed.
"Not when you've gone through the hell I go through on a daily basis!" Chef roared.
Even though I was the first person voted out of my season, Total Drama has still given a lot for me. I could escape from my horrible life in Israel, get a real family, and I even have some kind of fans on social medias for taking pretty pictures. I owe this show for all this, I think, so I'll be honored to come back and do it again. They'd just better not vote me out first this time!
"Well, that should be everything," Nelson said.
"What about the Aftermath studio?" Lindsay asked.
"That's not a priority for us. We have a dedicated team making sure that's all put together," Nelson told her. "For now, though, let's get started on the finishing touches for this season."
"I'm excited," Topher beamed.
"Me too!" Lindsay cheered.
"Hmph," Chef grunted.
"...It's good to be back," Chris grinned. He clapped his hands together. "Alright, gang. Let's make this the best season of Total Drama yet!"
A/N: Just a little prologue before the game proper begins. I've generally avoided too many continuity references in past fics because I wanted them all to stand on their own without needing to read the others, but this season, you can expect callbacks, references, and continuations of things established in the past. I trust that anyone reading this has already read the five previous Total Drama Party fics, and if you haven't, consider this as me imploring you to do so before you read any more.
I hope you guys are as excited about this season as I am. Who do you think will be playing based on those little blurbs interspersed through the chapter? How do you think everyone will do? I look forward to showing you guys what's in store!
