"Mr. Pankratz you've just had a very serious surgery. You need assistance. You can get fourteen hours a week. Two hours everyday." The woman said as she sat beside the hospital bed. She kept coming to see him, to try and get him to acknowledge what had happened.

It had been four days and Jaskier had still refused everything. Food, visitors, assistance, anything.

"I don't want anyone in my home. Go away." Jaskier growled out, and kept his eyes on the window beside the bed. It was dim out, the sky rolling with clouds so dark it turned the day to night. He imagined the clouds could come through the unopening windows to come swallow him whole.

He was barren now. The only thing he'd ever wanted, ripped from his reach. The only thing he ever truly wanted from life, stripped away before it was vindicated.

A disease he'd had since birth, apparently. Something from his mother. It had all been spoiled inside of him, killing him from his gentlest places. " Radical " surgery. "Radical" was something he never wanted to hear again. He didn't want this. He didn't want to be- be more broken than he already was. He didn't want to be considered… empty.

He wanted to just disappear. He didn't wanna even exist. He'd never find a mate. Never find joy of puppies in life. This was his final straw. His loving heart, his soul even, it felt broken, the light blown out, the curtains pulled.

Days later, being told he would heal the rest of the way at home, a trip back to his apartment, and slamming the door before the nurse could help him to bed, he was home.

A knock on the door woke Jaskier up from where he was laying in bed. A knock at the door stirred Jaskier from where he'd resigned himself to stay.

"Go away." He yelled at the door, his voice cracking through his throat like a plank of wood snapping. Heat of anger didn't even well up in him anymore. He was just… too tired. He was too tired to be.

"Jaskier, come open this door." He heard in the most familiar voice. A voice that was low and growling, one that shook him down to his heart. He had heard Yennefer's quiet reassurance and her yelling demands, Valdo's teasing edged with concern, case workers' dull attempts at coaxing. He'd yet to hear the rolling voice that had him on his trembling legs for the first time in so long.

Geralt.

Geralt who'd brought him to the hospital in the first place, who'd soothed his aches so many times before, who'd always been there with one little phone call.

"Geralt please go away. I-I-I can't be seen. I'm too… it's so awful." Jaskier answered even as he was opening the door and allowing the alpha to see him.
Geralt pushed past him, uncaring whether or not Jaskier was 'indecent' or whatever he thought. He wanted to see the omega, he wanted to lick his wounds, fluff his nest, feed him well, and- Geralt let his face scrunch up. He'd been feeling 'moody' and he just wanted to find his omega, fix him, make him happy, and take a nap. God a nap…

Jaskier's own eyes fluttered as Geralt made his way through the mess of a home. That scent. Jaskier chased it with his nose. He caught that scent that always just got away from him. That real scent of the alpha. The one that was dampened by coats of neutralizers. The one that he'd gulped down he was now starving for more of. Something sweet yet smokey like cookies and campfire smoke…. Warm honey and ash. He followed mindlessly behind Geralt as he busied himself with several large bags he'd brought.

"Jask, I'm gonna check you out, put you in a chair, and then I'm gonna start cleaning. When I'm done with the bed, if you wanna go back to bed that's fine. But I'm gonna look you over, I'm gonna clean, and I'm gonna make you eat. Understand that?" Geralt announced and set his bags on the kitchen counter. He opened a few just to not have to look at the omega before he was done speaking. Jaskier would look at him with those eyes and he'd be at those blue eyes' mercy.

However it was a crack to Jaskier's system. He'd been so numb, too deep in his depression to even register that there could ever possibly be a way out. It'd been too dark for too long. The tears were like a flood down his face as he looked around. His stupid god damn apartment was such a fucking disaster and he couldn't even remeber the last time he'd changed his clothes or brushed his teeth.

"Can- can you help me Geralt? It's horrible " Jaskier asked, sobbing into his hands that came to cover his face in shame. He felt like less than a poor excuse for an omega. He couldn't even keep house anymore.

But those worries were rushing out with his tears as soon as Geralt had him wrapped in his arms. Big warm arms holding Jaskier together as he fell apart. Geralt hugged the other man as tightly as he let himself given he was still healing. He held him close, making sure to pull his hips away from rubbing against the stitches that stretched across the omega's belly.

"It's alright" Geralt said into the greasy, sour smelling mop of hair on Jaskier's head. He'd seen far worse, greasy hair and surgery yuck was nowhere near enough to turn him away.

"I-I need to get clean. I smell awful, I need the house to not stink of- of failure." Jaskier begged quietly into the shoulder he buried his face into. His hands laid open against Geralt's warm shoulder blades, keeping the other man near. He may fall to pieces if Geralt pulled back too soon.

But the alpha wasn't going anywhere. He held up most of Jaskier's weight. He wasn't wearing his thick scratchy uniform, solid body offered up under a soft thin cotton t-shirt and plain worn in black jeans. Jaskier was lavishing in it too, feeling the warmth and ripple of his muscles, sniffing him without shame without a dash of neutralizer to be seen. Each nuzzling sniff breathing new air into the omega's lungs.

"I'm gonna check you out and then we can cover your stitches with special tape and I can put you in the bath. By the time you get out the bedroom will be better. Deal?" Geralt offered and pulled back to look at Jaskier's face.

He was gross, dirty and yucky, and so broken. Rubbed raw and stripped of his flourishes.

So Jaskier. So… Geralt wasn't good with words but whatever the word was for the feeling he got taking care of this omega, Jaskier was very "that". Whatever that hungry kind of warm feeling deep in his chest was, Jaskier was it. Whatever that feeling that he wanted to be near and never leave, that he wanted to burrow deep and never leave again was, Jaskier was that.

"Am I a failure?" Jaskier asked blue eyes begging and desperately looking up at Geralt like the answer would kill him either way. Like anything the alpha said would send him crashing through the floors. Geralt knew nothing he could say would ever turn that look into a better gaze. It was a death sentence no matter the words.

"You were sick, Jaskier. I've never thought you were a bad omega. You're better now, a healthy omega is a good omega. No matter what." Geralt said softly and Jaskier's crying renewed, his arms hugging around Geralt tightly, his face buried in the warm smelling part of Geralt's neck, sobs wracking through his body.

He held on tightly, the bit of strength left in his body going toward holding onto the only anchor he'd had in so long. He let his sobs work their way out of his system, the pity finally getting let out, until his mouth pulled itself into a sad smile, glad his friend was there to put him back together. Geralt, stone cold nurse Geralt, putting him together like a bear putting a porcelain doll back together.

"Oh thank you Geralt. Thank you dear. I-I-I need someone now, I don't wanna be alone." Jaskier admitted into Geralt's shoulder as he shook with the last of his sobs. Geralt rubbed up and down his back, hand big and warm and reassuring as Jaskier's own hands loosened their hold.

"I'll be here Jask. I'll be here." Geralt said and just held the omega. His friend. His… his something. His omega, his mind kept pushing. Geralt let himself indulge, called Jaskier hsi omega in his own mind was perfectly fine.

"Geralt I-I-I, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry" Jaskier whispered and wiped his face across the warm cotton shirt that held him up.

Geralt simply held him and rubbed his back, wanting nothing more than to take all the pain away, make it all better. Maybe it was the feeling he kept having in his chest but he felt rather… protective. Angry at the world for ever even picking at his omega.

"You're still a good omega. Precious, special, soft, beautiful, omega" Geralt grumbled, his heart behind the words. He'd always felt that way about Jaskier. He was soft and pretty and strong and sang such pretty songs

Jaskier hiccupped and whined. He shook his head. He couldn't let Geralt just lie like that even if the alpha's grumblings did make his heart feel all sparky.

"I'm a shell. I'm just parts." Jaskier said, sadness so heavy it made the statement barely audible. Geralt had to think about it for a minute before he pulled Jaskier away from himself so they were eye to eye. It hurt him to think his omega thought of himself in such a… hateful way. If the omega thought that what would he think of Geralt himself, his lacking parts.

"Jaskier, you're a whole, full, perfect omega. I know you're having a very, very, hard time right now. I know you're hurting. I'm right here. We just need to get your feet back under you. Alright? One step at a time." Geralt explained and kept his eyes on Jaskier's watery blue ones, trying to get the message into his head. Jaskier pushed his tears away with the backs of his hands, sniffled once before closing his eyes to breathe. He took a minute just to take a few calming breaths before giving a resolute nod.

"Just… I've not been keeping up with myself. Forgive me." Jaskier said and shyly walked his way back to his bed. It was a wreck of sheets, blankets, gauze, tissues, and candy wrappers. It smelled horribly, to say the least. But Jaskier had grown used to it and Geralt's brain blocked out these kinds of smells but now.

"Do you have a sweet tooth? I hear ice cream cures all." Geralt asked as he started a mental list of things to clean first. He preened a bit internally at the fact he'd brought a bag of powdered doughnuts, omegas like sweets when they're hurt. And Jaskier loves cheap doughnuts. Loves anything tooth-rotting.

"I wanna eat butter in sugar. Isn't that a fucking travesty?" Jaskier lamented and laid down on the edge of his bed, flinching and turning to his side when he stretched his stomach too much. He made a pained face before rolling back onto his back, more carefully this time. He pushed his hoodie up to his chest, trying to be a bit modest even though it was obvious that Geralt needed him naked to get a bath.

Geralt shook his head and lifted up Jaskier's oversized hoodie, pulling it all the way off along with his stained shirt underneath. He looked down and just pulled Jaskier's plain grey panties off while he was at it.

Geralt knelt down beside Jaskier's belly to look at his stitches.

"You want oil and glucose. It's not strange. It's very normal. It's why pregnant or sick omegas crave funnel cakes. And fried Oreos. After your bath I'll fix you something to sate it." Geralt explained as he carefully ran a hand down Jaskier's sides, looking for anything off. He was careful as he touched the skin nearest the dark threads.

"Funnel cakes~" Jaskier moaned and whined at the fact he didn't have any. He looked at Geralt with those eyes. Big, blue, and begging. Like the alpha should have had some for him right then. Geralt shook his head with a small smile as he stood up to check the other side better, where the incision had hooked a bit so the stitches were different.

"Funnel cakes and ice cream and ice cream sandwiches and whiskey." Jaskier listed off and touched his belly. He was starving and all of that thrown on a plate in front of him would simply be orgasmic at the moment.

"You don't drink whiskey." Geralt recalled as he inspected the stitches in total, each dash in the curved line carved under the omega's bellybutton. He thought back to the few times he'd been drinking with their friends, at the teasing they all gave Jaskier over his drinks. Jaskier didn't drink any 'yucky' alcohol. He liked vanilla vodka and big pink drinks that had so much alcohol it could put down a horse.

Jaskier sighed, defeated in his own tastes.

"But it would feel so good to drink it." He said and thought about the burning liquid making his belly warm and his head quiet, letting him find dreamless sleep. Geralt finished looking him over, smiling down at him.

"You'd hate it." he said before offering a hand to help him to the bathroom.

"Oh Geralt, I'm filthy. I'm so sorry." Jaskier apologized as his eyes started to tear up again. He'd washed his face with a clean cloth at the sink as Geralt filled the tub but still it was… He felt such shame as the clear clean water turned a dirty yellowed hue. He started to cry as the clean soapy washcloth rubbed across his back.

"Hm" Geralt grunted as he continued to clean off the layers of sweat and dirt from Jaskier's skin. It wasn't much to be sad about. He needed a scrub is all. And the double layers of the tape would keep his stitches nice and dry, those had just been wiped down carefully once Jaskier's face had been washed.

"I'm so sorry. This is so above your pay grade." Jaskier said and pushed his tears away. He was feeling better. He was feeling so much better as the soapy cloth refreshed and renewed him. Geralt's strong hands were a steady path, one Jaskier felt so much more safe standing on alongside the alpha. He just needed to get it all washed off him, cried out of him, and filled up with better things like funnel cakes and ice cream.

"Not getting paid" Geralt mumbled and lifted Jaskier's arm to wash his pit and side. Jaskier sniffled and used his other hand to wipe his tears. Geralt reached across him to clean the other side and work on his neck and collar.

"What?" He asked, confused. He was just confused about what Geralt had mumbled, too focused on the luxurious feeling of his pits being clean.

"I'm here as your friend, not a nurse." Geralt explained quietly and pressed a kiss to Jaskier's forehead. The affectionate gesture was… Jaskier sat, head tilted toward the warm lips that had just pressed into his temple, for a moment processing before his bottom lip trembled and he shouted.

"You're an asshole." Jaskier shouted loudly and turned to hug his friend. Jaskier felt something in his chest crack open and the most awful feeling seeped out but it also felt… euphoric in a way.

He sobbed and sobbed and let out the most terrible sounds. Sounds that made Geralt hold onto him tighter. Sounds that were meant for only those closest, sounds Geralt had heard so many times when he worked in the ER. Sounds that came clawing out of omegas in a way that had any alpha desperate to make stop. Sounds mother's made when the puppies didn't make it, Geralt's head finally pinpointed. That sound. That cry nearly squawking.

And Jaskier was okay with Geralt hearing his heart ache. Which only made Geralt want to hold him closer, crawl into the bath, crawl under his skin, fix everything and anything no matter what. It made him nuzzle into Jaskier's neck, letting his lips settle on Jaskier's soft scent gland.

Jaskier let it all out, knowing Geralt could handle it all. Knowing Geralt wanted to handle it all. Wanting to work it all out of his system to his alpha. His alpha. His alpha who was the best ever who still liked him even if he couldn't have pups, even if he wasn't whole.

"I know." Is all Geralt said, repeating it until Jaskier was hanging limp, body and mind too exhausted to do anything more. Till Geralt was okay to let him go, till he himself felt the last of his own heartache dissipate.

He gently laid the omega back in the tub, rolling a washcloth to put behind his neck and head to keep it from the cold tile. He drained the water, watching it go down as he folded a towel for himself and put it under his own knees. He refilled the water, warm and clean and took his time washing his omega.

It was almost meditative. Jaskier soft skin, coarse leg hair, callused hands, few mismatch scars spattered on elbows and knees and one on his ankle. Geralt took his time refilling the water once more before he was just using his hand to run the warm water across the omega's chest and shoulders. He enjoyed Jaskier's sleeping face and as much as it pained him he woke him up to wash his hair.

"Peachy" Geralt said after taking a long sniff of the shampoo bottle. Jaskier smiled and nodded, reaching for it but Geralt was already dumping some into his hand. The younger man moaned and sighed in pleasure as Geralt worked the soap into a foamy mess on his head, strong fingers massaging along the way. And the shower head rinsing it all away felt amazing too, a bit less warm but it was refreshing.

Jaskier smiled at Geralt's soaked front.

"That's a gaudy look, and I thought you a modest man." Jaskier teased and ran his finger down the front of Geralt's shirt, down the lines of abs that showed through the darkened fabric.

"Says the nudist" Geralt added as he bent down to dry off Jaskier who burst out in laughter. The sound breaking the heavy feeling that had hung in the air. Geralt smiled and got the omega nice and dry before throwing another fluffy towel around his shoulders.

Jaskier had a soft look on his face, something between contentment and adoration, as he got dressed. Geralt was careful to pull on a pair of fresh clean underwear, leaving them low on Jaskier's hips before the omega adjusted them himself. He had a hoodie pulled over his head, slipping his arms through, it had been one of the few things he never nested with since it was too static-y, so it was nice and clean. He was sat on the couch before Geralt slipped a pair of plain black fuzzy socks onto his feet, kneeling in front of him in a way that had Jaskier smiling.

He was handed the TV remote, covered with a blanket over his lap, and another kiss was pressed into his forehead before Geralt was standing back up to change into another shirt he had packed away in his bags. There was some rustling as Jaskier looked through the new shows on one of the streaming services he got off Yennefer.

"I'll be right here, I brought a shirt of mine if you want but you don't-" Geralt began to offer and stepped so Jaskier wouldn't have to turn as much, but was cut off by a growl.

"Give it to me. Now." Jaskier demanded and yanked his own hoodie off his body to wrestle the nice sleep-scented shirt onto his still damp body. It smelled amazing and as he cuddled under the blanket, made him drift back off to sleep. The clanging and noises coming from the tiny kitchen didn't disturb him but rather made him feel calmer, safer, knowing his alpha was right there.

Soon Jaskier had a stack of pancakes, crafted from a box but still exactly what he needed, doused in butter on a plate in front of him. It was worth being awake for. The soft, perfectly cooked batter was seasoned with something that didn't come from a box. Geralt had made them better just for Jaskier. Who gives a shit if it was medication or vitamins, it was warm and buttery and hot and filled Jaskier's stomach.

He moaned with each bite and Geralt was dizzy with joy as he brought more and more to the omega. The alpha felt that feeling deep in his gut. Something that was warm and made him wanna bare his teeth and touch the omega. He sat next to Jaskier, rubbing his knee, getting a wet paper towel to wipe his hands, wipe his mouth, making sure each time the omega was done there was another stack for him.

It made him feel that warm feeling each time Jaskier smiled and thanked him. It made him wanna get down on his knees for the omega when he offered Jaskier his favorite drink, a diet pepsi, and the omega clapped and drank one right away. The giddy way he clapped and smiled made Geralt smile.

He was sitting on the end of the couch waiting to take the plate from Jaskier, he'd already said he was done but there was just one bite left and he wanted Jaskier to eat it. A smile was gracing the edges of his lips, fog filling his head, heart doing that weird warm fluttery thing.

"You're an angel, Geralt, a fucking angel. I'm a wreck and you come here and and-" Jaskier started and handed the plate over to Geralt who took it and kept his eyes on Jaskier because there was… a slip.

"I love you" It didn't feel like either of them had said it. It was as if they both had said it or it had appeared in the space between them through neither of their faults. It could have fallen from Geralt's alpha drunk lips as he watched the omega become comfortable and warm under his care. It could have tailed off Jaskier's grateful ramblings as his mind fluttered with love for the alpha.

"Gera-"

"Jask-"

"You first alpha, I'm putting that one on you." Jaskier answered with a smile, teasing. Geralt shook his head trying to get his thoughts to line up but they kept floating away in a mist of happy 'mega, fed 'mega, comfy 'mega . He bit the inside of his lip and looked down before catching the omega's eyes again.

"Are you…okay?" Geralt asked and looked at the omega snuggled on the couch in his t-shirt, mouth smeared with food he made, eyes full of love as he stared right back. The smell coming from him was better, worlds better.

"I am so much better now because of you Geralt. I'm still… sad of course. But with you I feel better. I feel like I'm human again. I don't want to slam the door on you and curl back into my pit of a nest. I feel better cause you're here. You're always here just when I need you. " Jaskier said with a smile. He did feel better. His alpha still liked him. He felt like he was… he didn't need to just give up. Geralt was so special. He had that way of just bulldozing his way past everything else and making things better.

"Good, I feel... Happy doing things for you that I don't do for other omega's. Never got to bathe anyone like that before. I want to do it again. Do everything for you again. I like seeing you happy." Geralt grumbled out and fidgeted with the plate in his hand. Jaskier grinned and blushed.

"Then it's settled. We both said it first." Jaskier joked and Geralt grinned, shiny teeth on display. Jaskier grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him to be face to face.

"That means a kiss, Mister Rivia" He said before pressing a short chaste kiss on Geralt's lips which was repeated again, when Geralt got his wits back to him. Jaskier smiled and they let their forehead rest together for a moment, just breathing in each other. Jaskier patted his cheek and rubbed their noses together before Geralt stood back up.

Geralt nodded. He turned and started doing the dishes before pacing, thinking if he should just do what he wanted or if he should ask Jaskier when Jaskier himself piped up from the couch.

"Are you one of those service alpha's who's gonna wanna suck me off if I let you vacuum?" Jaskier asked as he finished wiping his hands with a dry paper towel after the wet one. Geralt let out a bark of a laugh and went to get the trash bags from his bag and the laundry hamper.

"Yep." The alpha replied and began taking the full trash away.

"Vacuum away, my ray of sunlight, for I am going to take a nap so good I'll be briefly dead." Jaskier announced and laid down on the couch, a cheesy romance reality show droning on in the background.

Geralt ended not sucking him off but rather making a nice comfy nest, and laying with him kissing him till they were both half asleep and fell asleep in each other's arms.

Maybe it is all 50/50, maybe even with pieces missing, the picture can still be seen.