Author's Notes: This took less time than expected.

I hope you don't stumble over the experimental section at the beginning too badly.


Chapter 4

Maeve leant against the wall, her head turned to the right to study Otis who was leaning his elbows on the brickwork, staring across the field beyond. She felt content for the first time in a long time and she couldn't actually remember the last time she had been feeling this way. Maybe with Otis. Before Jackson. The thought surprised her because she knew when she knew she had feelings for Otis but she couldn't recall the first moment her feelings of friendship and admiration for this strange little wonderful wise man shifted from enjoying being around him to wistfully thinking she would like something more to be happening between them. It was before their almost-kiss on the bridge when she thought she had terminally embarrassed herself by thinking he could ever possibly be interested in her in that way but she couldn't for the life of her think where that moment could have occurred because before that night she had been spending a lot of time with Jackson and hadn't seen Otis much and there was no moment during that period of what was now she thinks about it too long a separation no moment that she remembered replaying in her mind in the way she replayed that almost-kiss on the bridge always with a different ending and if it was before Jackson then she still struggled to pick out a particular moment because there was the time his voice came from behind her at the clinic but that wasn't the moment because she could still remember her feelings from that moment and they weren't romantic but they were so special because they reminded her of when she was five and her brother came running to protect her from the boys who were surrounding her and shoving her and calling her names she didn't understand because of things she vaguely understood her mother was doing and she felt she had someone she could rely on who would protect her and support her and hearing and seeing Otis in the clinic standing there in that really nice suit and it was the same suit he had worn to the dance and no wonder she felt so extra happy seeing him even if it was with Ola because when he was standing there in that beautiful suit with those ridiculously wonderful flowers she thought she had again found someone she could rely on who would protect her and support her and it must have been before the pool because she remembered how she felt when she pushed him into the pool and how she felt when she was wrestling with him in the pool even if she didn't recognise at the time what she was feeling when she was wrestling with him in the pool but after the almost-kiss on the bridge she remembered thinking a lot about their minutes in the pool and when rewriting in her head the almost-kiss on the bridge to oh so many varied and oh so much happier endings became a little too repetitive she started to rewrite in her head their minutes in the pool to oh so many varied and oh so much happier endings and she remembers wistfully thinking oh so many times lately since things were going bad with Jackson that their minutes in the pool would have been the perfect time for their first oh so wonderful kiss and when she thinks about those minutes she is certain she would have kissed him if only Otis hadn't been acting so weird after she stopped him impersonating the cookie monster and ran her fingers down his fac—

..

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Oh, crap!

..

..

He was already in love with her and she had shoved her boobs in his face and…

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Oh, crap!

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Oh, you poor muppet, Otis!


Maeve drifted away from the pixies to see Otis staring at her, puzzled smile on his face.

"This is Ground Control to Major Maeve. Can you hear me, Major Maeve?"

Maeve startled and wondered how many of her recent thoughts were blaring across her face.

"Sorry, off with the pixies," she said and turned quickly to lean her elbows on the wall and stare across the field.

"They must have been pretty funny."

"What?"

"I have never seen you smile like that."

"You haven't been looking. I'm always smiling. See?" She turned quickly and gave him a terse grimace then returned her gaze to the field, looking across to her right, hoping to hide as much of her face as she could and wondering if she could get away with removing the band holding her pony tail in place without looking as if she was only removing the band holding her pony tail in place because she wanted to hide her face and cursing herself for not wearing her hair down that morning.

She tried to convince herself that she was only trying to protect Otis from being embarrassed if he found out she was thinking about him that way and she certainly wasn't embarrassed that it had taken her this long to realise the effect she had had on him in the pool that day.

Otis sidled a couple of paces along the wall and leant in too-close-at-this-moment-Otis toward her and murmured nonchalantly, "You also giggled."

She gave him a quick glare. "I don't giggle."

"What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing."

"There's something very peculiar about people who stand around smiling and giggling to themselves about nothing."

"It was just… something I thought about. I found it funny, that's all."

She could feel his sceptical smiling stare boring into her but she wasn't going to crack. Nosiree. He could stare at her all day and she would just keep staring across the field. Oh, look! Cows! She liked cows!

"I'll tell you later," she said.

She knew he was still staring.

"Someday," she said.

Otis, will you stop staring!

"Maybe," she said.

He could go to the Olympics for Staring.

Maeve felt rather than saw Otis had sidled a couple of paces away again and when she finally looked at him he was staring across the field, a soft smirk on his face. No, not a smirk. A soft smile.

She wondered if he was feeling as content as she was. She hoped so.


Maeve leant against the wall and watched as students filtered slowly onto school grounds. She sighed and wished she could stay here with Otis all day. It had been a really shitty yesterday and she wanted to continue enjoying what was right now a really wonderful today.

The thought of yesterday prompted her to lean her head back and turn to Otis and stare gently at him until he noticed and turned his blue eyes to her, a soft smile on his lips.

"What?" he asked.

"What did you try on me?"

He straightened and turning to her, puzzlement creasing his face. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you gave Jackson all the book and music stuff? So what did you try on me to push me closer to him?" There was only idle curiosity in her voice.

Otis straightened and she could see he felt it as an accusation. "Nothing."

"I'm just wondering, Otis, that's all. I'm not accusing you," she said, gently.

There was soft indignation in his voice. "Nothing, Maeve. I didn't try anything on you."

There was a soft edge of sceptical amusement in her voice. She'd built a bridge. She was over it. But she was curious. "No, no, muppet. Tell me everything, I said."

His voice carried a gentle pleading edge. "I've told you everything, Maeve. I tried nothing with you. Nothing. I swear. I swear."

"I swear, too, Otis. Means I'm tough. Real tough. So… you know… watch it if you don't tell me everything." She wagged her finger at him, lips pursed in a smile, eyes glittering.

He looked at her in confusion and frustration, searching for the words he seemed to think he could never find and she could see dread rising within him.

She took pity on him and tried to jog his memory. "You were hinting that I should go out with Jackson?"

He was genuinely puzzled. "When?'

She leaned forward to stare at him, prompting. "Going on and on about 'What's wrong with boyfriends? What's wrong with boyfriends?'"

Realization dawned in his eyes and relief swept through him and Maeve leant back, satisfied.

He smiled fondly at her. "No, Maeve, that… that wasn't… that was about you."

She frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well," he paused as he searched for the words and when he found them his face lit up and he pointed at her and continued. "You were attracted to Jackson. I don't think you can deny it. I saw it. Before all the book stuff, I'd see you looking at him and it felt like it was the same look that must have been on my face every time I looked at you when you couldn't see me."

She had shrunk away from his words as he spoke but he could see she wasn't denying the truth of them even as she lowered her eyes from his and stared down at her hands.

"You wanted more than just sex with Jackson," Otis continued.

Maeve picked at an unruly bit of thumbnail and shrugged, pouting and refusing to look at him.

"At least you thought about it and wondered," Otis said. "But…"

He paused and studied her, wondering if he was about to overstep a boundary but when she looked up at him to query the silence he decided the risk was worth taking and stepped towards her so he was almost pressed against her arm.

"But you can be so down about yourself sometimes, Maeve," he said softly and gently.

She seemed startled, as if she was suddenly standing naked before him while wanting people to comment on her stunning new gown. "What do you mean?"

Otis looked down at her, hazy memories of a girl in a bathtub washing through him. "You said you didn't want to go out with Jackson because he was 'Jackson'. He was the great amazing champion athlete, beloved head boy, dream crush of half the kids in school. And I'm not mocking him, Maeve. He really is a great guy, despite…" He shrugged, waved his hands about a little.

Maeve raised her head and looked steadily into Otis' blue eyes. "He's not a god walking among us, Otis. He's just a guy. He's got his problems. Life isn't easy for him, either, feeling he has to live up to other people's expectations."

Otis nodded and waited until he was sure she was not going to say anything more before continuing. "And then there was you saying you were a grotty, stinky whatever. But can't you see, Maeve? You are just as incredible as Jackson. More so. He's got his family supporting him, the school lifting him up. You've got your brother, but—"

"Not anymore." Her voice was so small and so sad.

Otis hitched a breath and looked at her warily and waited.

"He took off before I got home last night," she eventually said.

He swallowed and placed his hand gently on her arm. "That shows what I mean. You get no support from family, the school's on your case, people you trust betray you and let you down – and I'm including me, Maeve. I'm definitely including me."

She looked into his eyes and gently shook her head.

"But you're still here, you still have a home, you still go to class, you get good grades and you have an astonishing ability to write."

Maeve pursed her lips, not trusting herself to speak.

He smiled gently down at her. "You're the exact opposite of grotty. Always economically fashionable with unimpeachable taste."

He waved one hand up and down to indicate he was referring to her fringed jacket and comfortably loose top and skirt and she smiled appreciatively.

He didn't realise he had taken one of her hands in both of his as he leaned in and murmured, "Seriously, Maeve, I know I'm biased but you always look incredible."

She stared gently at her hand clasped in his and wished it could remain there forever.

Otis leaned in even closer and she raised her head higher to study his face so close to hers. "And you're not—" He gave two ostentatious sniffs then snatched his head away, grimacing with a smile. "—you're not very stinky at all. Not really."

She made a face at him and snatched her hand away, but her eyes were smiling.

He was surprised to realise he had been holding her hand but continued, 'And even though the lies they say about you hurt, you are strong enough that you never ever let them see it. You're smart, you're funny, you're determined, you're inventive, you're kind—"

She snorted.

"I'm serious, Maeve. You were really kind to Ruby. You've shown a lot of kindness to me since we first bumped into each other."

"Yeah. I called you a moron and a snowflake and told you to fuck off."

Otis smiled.

Maeve shrugged and smiled back at him. "I suppose that was kind, since I could have said—"

"You reminded me I was late for class and gave me a couple of friendly nicknames. That's how I remember it."

She shook her head and rolled her eyes and smiled.

Otis lowered his voice again. "You're under an enormous amount of pressure in your life, Maeve, but that pressure hasn't broken you, it's made you a diamond."

She swallowed and wished she could kiss him without freaking him out.

"You're simply amazing, Maeve. Eric was right. You're the coolest person in school. Even cooler because most of those cretins are too imbecilic to even understand a fraction of how cool you are."

She blinked and smiled. "Eric said I was cool?"

"Yes, but he also said you were a scary fish which kind of takes points away from the coolness comment."

She thought for a moment. "No, it doesn't."

"Anyway, that's just a couple of examples of your kindness. Look how kind you are allowing this fool to keep saying he loves you and you don't ever let me see how uncomfortable that must make you feel."

She looked up into his oblivious eyes and did not speak.

"I'll stop doing it," Otis whispered.

Oh, you poor muppet, Otis!

Haven't you got it yet?


Author's Notes: The next chapter will definitely take a few days since I only have a few brief scenes and I have to go back to the most obscene four-letter-word in the English language. Work.