A/N: I appreciate all of you who have been following my story. It is the first full story I have tried to write and it's taking a bit longer than I had hoped. Since FanFiction's statistics are down I have no way of knowing whether or not anyone is seeing the new chapters, so if you could provide a comment in the reviews that would be helpful. The statistics have been down for more than a month and don't look like they will be fixed any time soon.
Chapter XXXIV - Waylaid in the Snow
Hours and hours of monotonous white passed by as we flew the speeder bike south, following the beacons that the IRS team had left behind. We had been on their trail for two days after leaving the forward bunker, flying through the endless waste of white drifts rising like swells on a frozen sea. Off in the distance to our left was a ridge of rugged, broken hills sometimes visible when the blowing snow cleared. The muddy gray daylight was beginning to dim as evening came on, making me squint through the oncoming snow to try and distinguish the horizon. We would have to stop soon, and I was trying to squeeze in another hundred miles before making camp.
"Are you doing okay?" I asked Ashara, who was leaning against my back with her arms wrapped around my oversized, snowsuit-covered midsection. She had been quiet the past hour.
"I guess," she answered into the headset. "My butt is sore, and my legs are starting to cramp." I felt her shift against my back. "How can you see anything in all this snow?" she added in a more anxious tone. "Maybe we should stop?"
"I want to pass eight more beacons before we stop."
"What's so special about eight?" she countered. "It's just more hills of snow."
"Yes, but it'll be hills of snow we don't have to travel over tomorrow, and we'll be that much closer to our destination."
It had taken us an extra day to reach the Icefall Plains Forward Bunker. We had stopped, as planned, to activate the new com relay at the halfway point to establish communications between Dorn Base and the forward outpost. Commander Tritan was happy to find out that his unit was secure and hunkering down during the storm, and Lieutenant Drakes, the officer in charge of the forward bunker, was shocked to hear that we were inbound yet happy to be in contact with Dorn Base again. We continued after setting up the boosted com but had to stop when it became apparent that we would not make the outpost before dark. The storm had intensified, causing me to fly slower through the whiteouts, and we eventually had to find a shallow gully to set up camp in. After some frustration, we managed to get the small camp shield generator working. It was our first night out in the storm.
Before our frozen adventure began, Commander Tritan had tried to dissuade me of my plan, giving me a thorough list of complaints about it. Eventually, he realized that I was not going to be talked out of it and ordered Sergeant Pelb to assist me with preparations. The speeder bike was pretty standard, with some added body panels to limit snow and ice buildup. It was the camp shield that the sergeant emphasized would be our lifesaver. The idea of the shield was actually taken from the pirates, who were using them while moving around outside their bases. The camp shield was originally a piece of expensive sportsman equipment designed for planetary exploration and hunting expeditions. The pirates took the retail version of the product and adapted it to the climate of Hoth, and Imperial scouts captured some of the shields when dealing with the pirates. The base of the shield generator had atmospheric controls, which we would have liked to crank up to eighty degrees, but had to settle for thirty-two so that the snow which made up the floor of our campsite did not turn into a puddle. Freezing was a welcome temperature, however, after driving all day through minus forty degrees. Besides the camp shield, we were given bed rolls, field rations, and snow gear. Sergeant Pelb was upset about giving up his last speeder and camp shield and told me not to take any unwarranted risks. He also warned me that the shield was not strong enough to resist heavy blaster fire or large animals like the Icetromper or Wampa, and the energy cell that powered it would wear out fast in the storm. He was right about the storm wearing out the energy cells, and at the forward bunker, I had the soldiers rig an extra rack of spare energy cells under the speeder just in case.
We had slept through the night at the Icefall Plains bunker, a small cutout in the ice and rock on a ridge overlooking a large plain that, in clear weather, would provide a complete view of the region east and south of Dorn Base. Lieutenant Drakes and his team were reserved and business-like when we arrived, helping us clean off the speeder and providing us with a fresh meal. In the morning the lieutenant suggested that we wait out the storm, but when I persisted, he helped us find the first IRS beacon and set our instruments to better pick up the signals. That first day away from the forward outpost I felt hopeful. The beacons were at regular intervals, and we were making good time, only stopping when it got too dark to see clearly in the blowing snow. Now, nearing the end of the second day, my optimism was waning. The snowy hills seemed to go on forever, and we had no idea how many beacons were yet in front of us. Worse, the storm was just as strong as days ago and did not seem to be slowing.
While I was pondering over the last few days, I failed to notice that the instruments had not picked up the next beacon. Reflexively, I let off the throttle and reached out to tap the panel with my glove. A shiver went through me, driven by the cold or sudden concern I was not sure - probably both.
"What's wrong?" Ashara asked through the headset.
"I've got no reading on the next beacon." I looked up while talking, frustrated that the sky had darkened further and it was becoming difficult to see the horizon. There were no readings on the scope when I looked back down, to the front or behind us. Corporal Sevens had been very precise about his markers, with a new one appearing on the sensors just before the last one fell off. I had grown so confident in his trail that I flew on without concern and now had no idea how far we had traveled since the last beacon.
"We should stop," she argued, "it's dark."
"We can't stop outside of sensor range. We could be lost."
"Maybe we should turn back and find the last beacon?"
"I don't know." The speeder idled under us roughly as I scanned the horizon with my eyes again. It bothered me to turn back and lose ground we had already covered, but the thought of getting more lost worried me more. "You're right, let's find the last beacon."
For anxious minutes we flew back down the snowy slope we had been climbing. I thought I turned a complete one-eighty and headed straight back the way we had come, but the blowing snow and vague landmarks made it impossible to know for sure. Thankfully, the green light finally appeared on the instrument panel, and the soft audible ping returned to my earpiece. I slowed down to a stop again, letting the speeder idle as I looked at the instruments. The last beacon we passed was now on the screen, but there was no sign of the next one. The growing darkness forced me to put aside the mystery and try to find a place to make camp. We settled on a little hollow in the leeward slope of a large snow dune to set up camp. Despite my thermal gear's heat liner, the cold had worked its way into my toes, hands, and knees. The biting wind had found seams around the corners of the face mask as well, making my cheeks and ears tingle. Ice and snow were caked to the speeder and the equipment packs, and I had to kick packed snow off my boots before I could dismount.
"I'm so tired of snow," Ashara muttered. "I thought it was pretty the first day we went out in it, but this is ridiculous." I looked out at the horizon after sliding stiffly off the speeder seat. The snowstorm seemed like it was strengthening as night fell. "Do you think it will ever stop snowing?" Ashara formed her complaint into a question.
I glanced at her as she slipped awkwardly off the rear bike seat. We had been traveling for at least thirteen hours with only a short lunch break, and though the bike was flying through the air and not bouncing on the ground, it shuddered and shifted in the wind, forcing us to keep a grip on the vehicle with our legs. That exertion left our muscles sore and stiff, and my hands and arms were also sore from gripping the handlebars and steering the speeder. Despite the fatigue and the desire to just sit still for a bit, we set about unpacking and trying to clear a space for the camp. I pulled Pez out of the saddlebag first and turned him on, only to be greeted with a chorus of frustrated chirps and warbles. The droid did not like that I chose to stow him rather than let him fly around with us.
"Stop complaining," I countered. "You'd be a frozen ball of ice by now if I let you try to keep up."
"Dwee-zwip," he shook his little frame before buzzing away from us into the swirling snow.
"Fine, get lost then," I groused before pulling out more equipment.
"Dee-da-doo," he trilled merrily into my earpiece.
"I'll be happy to get this heavy gear off, it's really starting to chafe my skin." Ashara made a futile effort to scratch her shoulder with her glove-covered hand.
The camp shield was not difficult to set up, only needing a flat area to be activated on, but the speeder, the supplies, and our bedrolls had to be arranged to fit before the shield was activated. Once inside, we would be stuck unless the shield was turned off again. About two feet of fresh snow covered the ground and made it difficult to walk as we took folding snow shovels and began clearing the circle for the shield, digging down to a firmer base of icy snow. I looked down at my gloved hands while shoveling, I frowned at the oversized man's glove that I had to wear on my gimpy hand because it was the only thing that fit. Thankfully, the pain had lessened enough that the cybernetic glove could function and my hand was actually useful. It seemed like the experimental treatment was working and I would not lose life or limb, but whether or not I would ever be able to toss the ugly glove and get my actual hand back was still in doubt. My distracted thoughts made me wonder about my next doctor's visit and what the tests would show. To my shock, I realized that the two-week appointment was only four days away. The delays in our mission to Taris were bad, but they were nothing compared to the time being wasted on this frozen rock. When Watcher One mentioned that we could find a midpoint somewhere for my appointment with the doctor, I naively thought that we would be to Hoth and gone by the time two weeks rolled around. Sadly, that naivety had blown away quickly in the blustery cold winds of this planet. A frustrated grin turned my lips when I thought about the professionally dressed Doctor Ragenstaub trying to find me out in these snowy wastes. The shovels did not prove strong enough to level out some of the frozen ground, so I ignited my lightsaber and used the blade to vaporize the icy lumps and make a flatter surface. Holding my lightsaber and seeing the flickering red blade made me aware of the fact that we had not practiced in several days. The traveling had been constant and exhausting, leaving little time or energy for Force training. That realization annoyed me, as did the time being wasted here and the drifting snow beginning to pile up on the circle we had just cleared. Somehow, my life had been reduced to chasing an eccentric archaeologist across the forsaken frozen wastes of a forgotten world. Swiping the last of protruding hard snow away with my lightsaber I stood up and turned to look at the circle. Ashara was starting to unstrap the bedrolls, and I got the sudden urge to duel with her to take out my frustrations.
"Draw your weapons," I said as I stepped toward her, sweeping my red blade in front of me.
"What?" she replied as her body stiffened and her head turned toward me.
"I want to duel."
"You've got to be kidding," she protested.
"Dee-zwip," Pez chirped irritably to echo Ashara.
"We haven't practiced in days."
She watched my blade sweep between us as I moved toward her. "We just cleared the campsite. Shouldn't we activate the shield to keep the snow out?"
"After we fight."
"Zwip-click-beep-duooh!" Pez added as his little frame flew between us.
"I don't want to," she continued to argue. "I'm tired and achy and want to rest. Besides, we're in these clumsy snowsuits." Ashara shook her puffy arms at me for effect.
"Exactly," I agreed, "It will be a good test of our determination." I made sure my lightsaber was set to practice and then lashed out to strike her waving hand. "Arm yourself."
"I didn't even feel that," she boasted.
"Then I'll increase the power."
"No! You'll damage my suit."
"Then fight me," I slapped her arm again.
Frustrated, Ashara hurriedly searched her pack for her weapons and defended herself. The duel was comical as we slipped and bumbled our way around the small circle we had cleared. Blows could not be felt through the thick suits we were wearing, which was a good thing considering how many times we struck each other. Not only was our physical skill limited by the elements and the gear we had on, but Force skills were also muted through the heavy gloves. Slowly, I gained the upper hand by Force-pushing through her ward and knocking her off balance.
"This is pointless," she complained.
"Then yield," I demanded.
She fought back with swipes from both her weapons. "Why do you have to be such a jerk!"
We fought on for a moment, more harshly due to our flaring tempers. Finally, I blocked both of her lightsabers aside and hit her with a strong Force-push, making her fly back and land in the snow outside the circle. She lost one of her weapons as she tumbled and became stuck in the deep snow when trying to right herself. I stepped up with my blade pointed at her visor.
"I yield, dammit!" She snapped. Pez buzzed between us and hovered as if to protect Ashara from me.
Disarming my lightsaber, I brushed the droid aside and reached a hand out to help her up but she ignored me, working to her knees and crawling past me into the cleared circle. I bent down to retrieve her lost weapon, Corrin's blade, and held it out, only to have her sweep it out of my hand and stomp away. I felt bad upsetting her, especially since the duel did not seem to yield any valuable practice. Silently, we went back to finishing the campsite, the mood between us as cold as the snowy night air. With our things finally arranged and the camp shield centered and leveled, I activated the energy barrier. The shield was only ten feet wide and the speeder bike was over twelve feet long, so we had to flip up the front control surface just to get the bike to fit, and the shield generator needed to be arranged right next to the center of the speeder bike, leaving two halves of the circle on either side of the bike for us to sleep in. Once the elements were at bay and the heater activated, we began to remove our gear and Ashara shot me a glare when pulling off her hood and visor.
"Don't be mad at me," I told her while putting my hands close to the glowing heater under the shield generator. Despite the heavy gloves I wore, the cold had seeped through at the tips and knuckles of my fingers and made them tingly.
"Why shouldn't I be?" Ashara huffed. "You completely ignored my feelings and attacked me." She paused to peel herself out of the snow pants and jacket. "You do that just to prove that you're better than me."
I glanced her way as she gently ran her fingers down her lekku. They twitched at the tips, seemingly happy to be free of the confines of the snow suit. "That's not true," I countered. "Come over and warm your hands."
She glared at me and set about folding her jacket and pants. "I told you that I don't like fighting you," she muttered while she stacked her gloves and visor on top of the folded jacket, "and I'm sore and hungry, yet you don't care about any of that."
I dropped the conversation, figuring if she wanted to be mad then I could not change her mind. The glowing shield had a soft hum to it and I looked through its shimmering surface to the blowing snowstorm beyond. The energy field muted sound, making our little camp circle rather serene as I unpacked the food crate and popped open a protein drink. I did not have the energy to prepare a meal and ate some snack food with my drink. Ashara seemed to calm down when I started eating and crawled over the speeder seat to sit down and eat as well. Pez drifted around the perimeter of the shield tweeting absently as we ate in silence. His red eye turned to observe us occasionally, giving me the sense that he did not like Ashara and me arguing. There was one indulgence that I had grown to crave since being out in the snowy wastes, and that was a hot drink. Brayla, Commander Tritan's meek assistant, prepared a drink for herself in one of the frustrating meetings where the commander tried to talk me out of chasing the IRS team. It smelled good and I asked her if I could taste some. The drink turned out to be a cheap hot chocolate-like powder added to hot water and tasted nothing like the hot drinks of my childhood, but it was easy to make and she had a whole box of packages and offered to share them with me. While chewing on my snack food dinner I scooped some snow into the metal mug I had stowed in my personal things and set it by the heater to warm.
"How do you know that snow is clean?" Ashara asked with a wrinkled nose.
"It's cleaner than you," I shot back, eliciting a huff and a grimace from her.
Pez drifted close, seeming concerned by Ashara's question. His little probe poked out and sampled the snow in my cup before giving me the red eye. "Bee-bop," he confirmed the snow's edibility before drifting off again. Time passed quietly as we ate our simple meal and I added the powder pack to my hot drink.
"How's your skin?" I finally asked, noticing her absently scratching a shoulder. Lifting the mug to my lips I took a tentative sip of the hot liquid, enjoying the warmth that it provided.
"Okay," she responded self-consciously, not meeting my gaze.
She seemed embarrassed by her dry skin, and I realized that we were still learning to get along with each other, what things to say and not say, and what things to do and not do. Looking down at my cybernetic glove, I realized that it was a sensitive issue with me. I did not like people noticing the glove or commenting about it. After reflecting, I decided to take it off. The healing process had proceeded enough that the cybernetics could be left on all the time, and I could tolerate the pain for short periods even without the glove. I relished the moments when I could take the ugly thing off my hand, even if it exposed my weak and discolored limb.
"What are you doing?" she asked as she watched me turn off the cybernetics.
I slipped fingers under the cuff of the glove and worked them down my forearm until the glove slipped free, wincing slightly as the pain prickled my senses. "Taking the damn thing off," I grumbled. The glove slid down into my lap and I looked at my withered hand. I do not know if it was wishful thinking, but the fingers seemed a little fuller and the color a bit more natural.
"It still hurts," Ashara observed, her green eyes finally looking into mine.
"Yes," I agreed, "but it seems to be getting better." Glancing down, I focused on the fingers and tried to get them to move. After some effort, my pointer and middle fingers twitched and I wanted to believe it was directed rather than just a flinch. Despite my feelings, I still needed the cybernetic glove because my hand was useless without it.
"I could use your healing treatment if you wouldn't mind."
"Maybe I do," she snipped, shifting her eyes away from me to open another food package.
"Don't stay mad," I chided, "the Sith duel is an important part of training."
"Please," she sniffed, "there was nothing useful about what we just did."
"Of course, there was," I countered, though part of me tended to agree with her.
"Name one thing besides building your ego."
"Well, for one, we found out how difficult it is to fight when encumbered with heavy gear, even if we have Force powers." I tried to work the fingers on my hand again while talking. "Did you know that Force powers were altered by wearing heavy gloves?" She ignored my question, seeming to focus on her snack. "I didn't fight you because of my ego either," I added in frustration.
"Whatever," she muttered.
"It didn't bother you that we hadn't trained in days?"
"We've been a little busy," she complained, "and I don't call that training."
"It most certainly is," I argued. "Training isn't just quietly meditating and playing conflict through politely choreographed dances. Sometimes you have to be challenged. Sometimes you have to face conflict in difficult situations, like when you're tired or encumbered. Sometimes you have to fight when you don't want to."
"Jedi aren't like that. They only act through calm, and only for defense."
"What nonsense," I complained. "You can't control conflict like that. It's not up to you to decide when to act and how. Sometimes your enemy doesn't give you that choice."
"A Jedi should always choose defense and de-escalation . . ."
"You've obviously never been in a real conflict," I cut in.
She looked at me in frustration. "I know the difference between right and wrong," she spat back.
"Beep-duooh," Pez mourned at seeing us argue again, his red eye looking between us unblinking.
Ashara crawled back over the speeder and started setting up her bedroll and I did the same. We spent a half hour preparing for bed in silence again, and that frustrated me. Sitting on top of my covers, I drank the rest of my warm drink while I pondered, cupping the mug between my good fingers and numb, stiff ones. Every time I tried to stretch my apprentice's skills or training; I received the same resistance. It was as if our relationship only went so deep, and an unbridgeable divide lay beneath. It made me feel as if she were judging me, that she was somehow good and I was evil. Reluctantly, I worked the glove back on my hand and turned on the analgesic. Before sliding into my bedroll, I quickly unzipped the coverall and slipped out of it. Despite the cold, I was tired of wearing the outfit and would be more comfortable without it. I slid into the bedroll in just my sports bra and underwear, curling up to conserve heat while the thick covers started to warm with my body. I glanced under the speeder as I settled my head into the pillow and noticed Ashara trying to rub ointment onto her back. It sparked anger in me that she would not ask for help.
"Why are you with me if you hate me so much?" I asked sharply.
"I don't hate you," she replied, glancing over her shoulder to see me lying down.
"Sometimes it feels like it," I added.
"Sometimes it feels like you go out of your way to upset me," she replied.
I rolled away from her and stared at the glistening energy shield for a moment. Part of me wondered if I was goading her on purpose, but I rejected the assertion. From the moment I began training as a Sith, I was thrown into difficult and sometimes surprising situations, and I believe those experiences helped me survive multiple conflicts where I otherwise would have been overcome. I was only trying to provide Ashara with that same training so that she was prepared for what may come.
"I don't do it to upset you," I answered her thoughtfully. We lay silent for some time as I watched Pez hover for a bit and then settle on his charger for the night. Beyond the shield, the wind and snow continued unabated. Then, shifting so that I could look under the speeder toward Ashara, I knew that I needed to say something to lighten her mood.
"Hey," I whispered to get her attention.
"What?" she asked, turning her head to look at me.
"I'm sorry. I don't want you to be mad."
Her gaze seemed to soften. "I just don't understand," she posited. "Sometimes we get along like close friends, and then you do something to intentionally hurt my feelings."
"It's not like that," I answered with a little frustration in my voice. "You know that I wanted you to go back to the Jedi. Look at where we are . . . what I've gotten you into! I knew my life was a mess, and I wanted to spare you the difficulties." I rolled on my back and stared up at the softly shimmering shield again. It was uncomfortable to talk about my feelings, especially because they were all jumbled up.
"So, you feel like you made a mistake?" she asked thoughtfully. "Are you being mean to me because you want me to leave?"
I glanced back at my apprentice. "I don't think I made a mistake." Our eyes met in the dim light and I felt uncomfortably vulnerable. "Your presence calms me, and you heal my hand ... sometimes."
She gave me a soft smile.
"Anyway," I brushed off the intimate moment and looked away, "I'm pushing us past our comfort zone to be ready."
"I don't understand?"
"At some point, we are going to be challenged, tested, surprised, or whatever you want to call it. It's happened to me all my life, and I can tell you that practice and training only go so far in preparing you. Eventually, you need to be shaken so that you know who you are, deep down inside, past the training and head knowledge. I want you to be ready when it comes."
"When what comes?"
"What you've been training for as a Jedi but not yet experienced."
Ashara was thoughtful for a moment. "I appreciate your concern," she spoke circumspectly, "and I feel like you believe that you need to challenge me, but I don't feel that way. I'm still not sure about the whole 'apprentice' thing, and I only agreed to it as a pretense to explain why we are together. It's hard to imagine that a Jedi can learn how to be a Jedi from a Sith."
She was expressing in words the resistance that I felt when trying to train her. It bothered me, but I did not sense that there was anything I could do to change her feelings. "I understand," was all I could think to say.
"Hey," she whispered back at me to get me to look her way. "I don't think you made a mistake either."
"I don't get that," I frowned. "You just told me that I'm a Sith and you're a Jedi. We shouldn't be together and you don't want to learn anything from me, so why are you here?"
"I've told you . . ."
"I know, you feel a connection in the Force. Well, it seems like there's more to it than that."
"There is, but I don't want to say."
"Secrets," I muttered. "How am I supposed to trust you?"
"It's not like that," she assured. "You can trust me."
"Says the girl keeping secrets."
"Oh, like you're not keeping secrets from me," she huffed.
I shifted in the sleeping bag while thinking about a few of my deep secrets. Focusing my eyes on the blizzard beyond the shield. "Secrets or not, we need to get some sleep. We've got a long day tomorrow."
The quiet humming of the shield generator mollified me into a half-sleep before Ashara spoke again.
"You're crazy, like the commander said," she stated. I glanced over to see her staring up into the blowing snow like I was.
"Why do you say that?"
"Dragging us out here into the storm when everyone told you to wait."
"We're doing all right."
"For now," she sighed, "but how are you so certain that things won't go horribly wrong? I mean, we've followed the beacon trail for two whole days and the reclamation team has a five-day start on us. What if we never catch up to them?"
I wondered about her questions and realized that I was not so certain. "We had to do something," I answered. "I couldn't just sit around waiting."
"But so many things can go wrong," she whispered nervously. "What if the speeder breaks down, or we go so far that we can't get back?" She looked over at me. "What if we find the end of the beacon trail and come upon the frozen bodies of the reclamation team . . . how horrible would that be."
"Is this your attempt at scary ghost stories around the campfire?" I drawled.
"What?" she asked in surprise.
"You know, on spooky nights while sitting around a fire? Never mind," I added when she gave me a quizzical look. She did not respond, and I closed my eyes and began to drift into a half-sleep again.
"Do you want to know why I stayed with you?" she whispered after a long silence.
"Sure."
"I'm not sure I want to share it 'cause you'll probably think I'm crazy."
"Well, you just called me crazy a bit ago, so . . ." My thoughts imagined reasons, like she wanted to convert me to the light side, or she was hoping to overthrow the Empire through me. "You can't not share it now," I complained.
"Okay, but it's important to me, so you can't laugh." I stayed silent, wondering if she was going to say it or keep hedging. "You've got my ghost," she stated calmly after a pause.
"What?"
"My ancestor from Taris. You have him."
"So," I replied incredulously.
"So . . . I need him."
"Whatever for?"
"After he appeared to me, I began to wonder about my mother." She paused, her voice growing emotional. "I never got to say goodbye to her."
I thought for a moment, trying to follow her logic. "I don't understand?"
"If my ancestor exists and you can communicate with him, then maybe I can say goodbye to my mother."
"That's not how ghosts work," I answered.
"How do you know?" she shot back defensively.
"You know what, I don't, but believe me, you want nothing to do with the ghosts in my head."
"If they can help me contact my mother …"
"They won't help you," I interrupted. "They're no help to anyone."
Ashara thought for a moment. "It's my only hope," she replied meekly.
I was speechless, caught off guard by her admission.
"At least you're not laughing," she sighed.
"That's because I'm stunned. Let me get this straight. You want me to get the ghosts in my head to help you contact your mother so that you can say goodbye?"
"Something like that."
"I don't know how the whole ghost thing works, but I do know that the spirits in my head are not going to help you."
"Have you asked them?"
"No, but they've been anything but helpful to me."
"What about the artifacts?"
"The artifacts?" I wondered. "You don't like them; I can tell from the way you react to them."
"I don't, but they may explain how to communicate with ghosts. You said yourself that they might hold the key to helping you."
"You're going to trust Sith artifacts to help you contact your Jedi mother? Aren't you worried about getting corrupted by the dark side?"
"I didn't say that I had things all planned out," she protested.
I lay quiet for a moment, thinking back on how this revelation might have motivated Ashara over the past few weeks. "So, you need me," I pondered out loud, "or at least the ghosts in my head and my artifacts."
"It's more than that, but I do hope that you can help me achieve my dream." She paused for a long moment. "Will you?"
"Help you contact your dead mother?" I replied dubiously. Strangely, at that moment I thought about my mother and why I was not eager to try and contact her - if it was even possible. "This means a lot to you?"
"Everything," Ashara whispered. "She sent me away . . . I didn't get to say goodbye."
"I will help you," I answered, "but I don't have the slightest idea how."
"Thank you," she sighed.
"Can we sleep now?" I complained lightly.
"Good night," she said as she rolled over.
While I tried to go back to sleep, thoughts about the ghosts drifted into my mind. They had been more active since we landed on Hoth, though I was not sure why. Despite Ashara's calming presence, they were drifting up into my dreams while I slept, and even sometimes prodding me with thoughts while I was awake. I did not like them and was glad when they could be ignored. Ashara had no idea what she was asking for in trying to talk to her ancestor. Of the three male egos in my head filling my dreams with ugly and disturbing memories, his were the worst. I regretted thinking about the ghosts as my consciousness faded, sensing that my dreams would be especially vulnerable tonight.
Pez woke us up with several sharp trills, and I sat up in confusion. The floating orb shifted his red eye from me to something beyond the shield several times in a pattern. "Zwip-zweep-tweep!" he added sharply.
I focused my still sleepy eyes in the direction Pez was looking and noticed something moving toward us through the freshly fallen snow. The blizzard had lessened considerably overnight and now only light flakes drifted down from the gray sky. "Prepare yourself, Ashara," I said while working out of my bed roll, "something's coming toward us."
"What is it?" she asked while struggling to get upright.
"I don't know," I replied, straining to see through the shifting energy shield. The object did not appear to be very large, but it was still far away.
It took time for us to pull on our thermal coveralls and find our weapons. By then, the object drew close enough for us to identify it as a droid. It was sliding through the soft snow on some kind of sled. When it got within twenty feet, it came to a stop and made some sounds, but the shield muffled the noise too much to make out.
"Be ready," I warned. "I'm going to lower the shield."
Ashara and I held our lightsaber hilts in hand as I walked to the shield generator and shut it off, making the cool Hoth wind blow across our little campsite in a rush.
"Hello, I mean you no harm." The little silver droid sounded out in a synthesized human voice. "I was sent to determine your intentions and see if you need assistance." While it spoke, it shifted around to look back in the direction it came.
I followed the droid's gaze and noticed several figures standing on a snowy ridge some distance away. Quickly, I cast my eyes around and noticed figures on every side of us. We were surrounded. "Pez, are they carrying weapons?" I asked quietly.
"Zwip," Pez confirmed that they were.
I reached out in the Force to detect any immediate trouble and found that we did not seem to be under imminent attack, but I did sense fear and anxiety.
"We are armed," the silver droid stated, "but only for our protection." It must have heard my question.
"Let me speak to your master," I ordered.
"Hello," a male voice projected from the droid's speaker after a moment. "Sorry to startle you. We don't get many visitors out here, especially in the middle of a snowstorm, so I thought I would approach and see if you needed help."
"We don't," I answered firmly. "Why have you chosen to surround us?"
"Precaution only," the leader replied. "There's no law and order out here, so we need to be careful."
I looked around at the figures again. "You now know we aren't a threat and don't need help. So, move on and let us be."
"You don't have to be so inhospitable," the man answered back. "I'm curious why you would be out in such a bad storm. It must be something serious."
I was going to dismiss his question and ask him to leave us again but then remembered that we had lost the beacon trail the night before. "Did you notice a company of Imperial personnel that passed through here several days back?"
"Imperials?" the voice echoed back through the droid. "Sorry, can't say that I have."
I was not sure I believed him. "We've been following their travel beacons for the past two days, but the trail seems to have ended."
"Travel beacons?" the voice repeated me again. "Hold on a minute."
Ashara stepped close to me. "I don't like this," she said under her breath.
"Me either. They've got us surrounded and look prepared for a fight. Be ready."
"Okay," the man's voice came back. "It turns out several of my men collected a number of the beacons yesterday, worried that they might be spy probes."
That explained why we lost the trail. I wondered about his excuse for picking up the beacons. It seemed plausible, but it could be equally plausible that they took the beacons to confuse or trap followers. I had not thought about other people being out in these frozen wastes because it seemed so empty, and I began to wonder if I could trust the beacon trail any longer. I focused in the Force again and this time got a sense that the men surrounding us were up to no good.
"I'll tell you what," the voice continued, "our place isn't far from here. If you come with us, I can give you the beacons and even help you get back on course. We've got some pretty good maps and know the area well."
"No thanks," I replied firmly. "We can make our way just fine."
Nothing happened for a moment, and I looked around to see if any of the figures were moving. "Ah . . ." the voice came back tentatively, "I think you need to reconsider. We can't just leave you out here in good conscience. The storm has calmed for the moment, but it's bound to grow worse again, and I'd feel terrible thinking I'd left two women out in the snow to die."
My sense of trouble suddenly intensified. A flashback to my life as a slave girl burst into my mind and I turned and grabbed Ashara's arm, pressing my face into her shoulder to muffle my words. "I don't like the way he identified us as women. The sled droid must have seen us trying to get dressed through the shield." I glanced over my shoulder at the droid watching us, weighing our options quickly. "We're going to have to go with them," I whispered.
"I don't think that's a good idea," she whispered back.
"Fighting them out here is too risky. Do you remember how difficult it was to duel last night?"
"Fight them, why? Can't we just leave?"
"They're not going to let us leave," I said under my breath.
"Maybe they're just suspicious?" she offered anxiously.
"If they were suspicious, they would have stayed hidden and monitored our movements. They chose to confront us for a reason, and I'm sure it's for no good."
"Then why go with them?"
"Because if they attack us here in the open, they could damage the speeder, and we will be stuck in the middle of nowhere. Besides, they have ranged weapons and are spread out, which will make it difficult to fight them with our lightsabers."
"But if your suspicion is true, then they are going to lead us into a trap."
"Yes, and we need to be wary. Let's begin packing up our things."
I turned back to the sled droid. "We want to collect the travel beacons that you mistakenly moved, so we will come with you."
"Great," the male voice responded. "We'll be down in a minute."
Ashara and I worked fast to put away our things as the figures surrounding us disappeared from view. I thought about getting on the bike and trying to escape, but before we were ready numerous repulsorcraft and speeder bikes appeared from every direction and converged on us. They formed a tight circle around our position, a hodgepodge of vehicles and heavily clothed figures. I knew then that we were dealing with bandits, and that we were in real danger. The sled droid moved over to the largest vehicle, a sort of personnel carrier repulsor truck, and the back door opened to let it in. Then, a figure appeared out of the top hatch and flipped up its snow visor so that I could see part of his face.
"All right then," the Duros male said. "If you're ready, follow me. We're only about fifteen minutes over that ridge." He pointed to the snow dune where the sled droid had appeared when we first woke up.
Ashara and I mounted our bike and followed the truck with the rest of the vehicles making an escort pattern around us. As we flew behind the lead vehicle, I began to second-guess my decision. At least ten people surrounded us and who knows how many more were at the hideout. When the confrontation occurred, and I felt sure then that it would due to the fear and anticipation I sensed emanating from the bandits, it was going to be difficult. Unfortunately, the vehicles formed a tight arrangement around us, preventing a way out, and I was not confident that we could outrun them. I had to hope we could get into the tighter quarters of their hideout where our lightsabers could be effective.
I needed to explain my plan to Ashara but was concerned that the bandits could listen to our headsets. As my distress mounted, I decided to risk it and opened the headset com. "Ashara?"
"Yes," she answered, her arms gripping me tightly as she held on.
"I'm concerned they will attack us, and I want to get into a more confined space before that happens. You need to be ready for anything."
"Why don't we just make a break for it."
"Because they aren't giving us the chance, and I doubt our speeder can outrun them all."
"I don't understand?" she sighed. "Can't we just negotiate with them?"
"Listen to me," I urged her. "Reach out in the Force and sense the emotions around us. These are not the type of men you reason with. They confronted us on purpose, and I sense they are planning something. Meditate in the Force and collect yourself. When the moment comes, follow my lead."
"Okay," she whispered sadly.
"I don't think they know we're Force users. When we ignite our lightsabers, it should cause panic, giving us a short advantage over their numbers."
The group of vehicles kept formation and sped through the snow until a clump of low hills appeared before us. As we drew near, the hills looked more like rectangles and wedge shapes, and metal surfaces were poking out of the snow. The hills were actually shipwrecks, and we were heading toward the largest one. After a few more minutes, the group of vehicles moved around the side of the largest shipwreck and a rusty, partially collapsed docking bay appeared out of the drifts of snow. The speeder truck led us into the docking bay and to the back where it stopped.
In the dim, rusty space at the back of the hangar, the men dismounted all around us, and I slipped my hand into the snow jacket's pocket and around my lightsaber hilt, readied myself for an attack. Instead, their leader came out of the truck and stepped up to us. He pulled his helmet off to reveal a Duros face and wary eyes. "Welcome to The Belfour," he said with a wave of his hand. "She was a Republic ship that managed to lightly crash on the surface after being damaged. Some of her escort ships landed in a rescue effort but none of them ever took off again. It's now our humble habitation." His eyes studied us critically before he waved his men off. "Come," he urged, "we've got part of the ship's life support operational. You can get out of your heavy winter gear and relax for a bit and then we can talk about finding your Imperial friends."
The bandits disbursed as Ashara and I got off the speeder, and Pez drifted beside us warily. I thought about attacking the leader while his men were gone but fighting in the bulky winter clothes would be difficult, and I was not completely sure conflict was necessary. We took a moment to grab some things out of the speeder's saddlebags before we followed the Duros leader toward the door into the wrecked spaceship. Once inside, we found ourselves in a dimly lit airlock with a closed interior door. The door to the docking bay ominously closed behind us, and the leader gave us a thin smile. Brighter lights came on, illuminating the cream-colored ceiling and walls of the wrecked ship.
"Take a moment to get your gear off," he urged while unbuttoning his heavy coat. "You can hang your stuff up."
There was a row of makeshift benches along one side of the narrow airlock and some wall hangers where winter gear was hanging. Our host disrobed at the far end, keeping an eye on us.
"Take your outer gear off as quick as you can," I whispered to Ashara as I unzipped my jacket. I worked to get out of the heavy clothes quickly, figuring they might attack us while we were distracted, but they did not. The bandit leader kept eying us, seemingly satisfied that we were complying.
"Once you're done, come through the door, and I'll show you to the kitchen where you can get some refreshments." He smiled at us and then stepped through the inner door.
"Duooh," Pez sounded when the inner door swished closed.
I watched as Ashara finished getting out of her heavy snow pants, thinking maybe I had assessed the situation wrong. The fear and anxiety I had sensed earlier had lessened, and the bandits had not attacked the few times they had a chance. When she looked ready, I slipped on my cloak and pulled up the hood before stepping toward the inner door. I moved quickly, wanting to make sure we were not locked inside the airlock, and it was then that the trap was sprung. A surge of fear rushed over me right before slats in the walls slid open. Igniting my lightsaber, I raised my left hand to call on the Force, expecting blaster bolts to come at me, but instead bursts of pellets sprayed out of the slats at us. In that split second, I summoned a Force push and blasted it outward in front of me, but some of the pellets struck my face before the Force wave had any effect. More pellets sprayed toward us, and I kept Force pushing, at the same time throwing my cloak up with my lightsaber arm to cover my face and Ashara.
"Dweep-dwaw!" Pez screeched as his little blaster poked out and started shooting through the slats.
"Ahh!" I heard a cry from behind the side wall.
"Shit," another male voice called out.
My mind instantly put things together. The bandit leader's statement echoed in my head from earlier; 'I'd feel terrible thinking I'd left two women out in the snow . . .' They were not trying to kill - but to capture us. The pellets were likely full of a quick-acting sedative, and some of it had gotten in my eyes. They had waited for us to take our heavy garments off so that our skin was exposed. With my cloak covering us, I moved backward and pressed into Ashara, forcing her back toward the docking bay door. I kept my body covering her as more spray pelted my cloak, and I Force pushed again and again, trying to send the pellets back at the shooters.
"Stop shooting," I heard the leader finally yell.
"Dammit!" someone cursed, "I got hit."
"They're Sith," another cried in a panic.
"Calm down, I think we got them both," the leader answered.
I heard shuffling and muffled voices beyond the walls. Some of the attackers had been hit with their own pellets, though I did not know how many. They were surprised and momentarily confused, but it would not last long.
"Ashara?" I asked urgently.
"Yes," she answered.
"Have you been hit? Did you get anything on your skin?"
"I don't think so."
"Listen!" I hissed urgently, feeling the drug begin to affect me. "They attacked us with drugs . . . they're trying to capture us alive. Did you get any on you?"
"Some hit my clothes," she whispered back, "but not my face or hands."
"The spray could have penetrated your clothes," I warned. "They hit me in the face, and I'm about to lose consciousness. You cannot let them take us; do you understand me? These men . . . you have no idea . . . Fight them off, die trying if you have to, death is a better fate than being captured." My voice started to garble, and my body grew heavy.
"Tishmy?" Ashara called out sounding panicked.
"You can do this," I mumbled. "Don't let them take me alive."
Pez's blaster continued to fire as I slumped to the floor. Muffled voices could be heard beyond the walls as my eyesight faded. The bandits were regrouping. Desperately, I reached into the Force and tried to fight off the drugs seeping into my body. Some Sith were capable of using the Force to block poisons and the effects of drugs, but I was not fully versed in that technique and despite my efforts, I lost consciousness.
My hearing returned first, and Pez's high-pitched blaster sound rang in my ears. I could also hear the sound of lightsabers humming, Ashara's lightsabers. The Force surged around me as she Force pushed outward. The sound of blaster fire came at us and then ricocheted off of lightsabers. Desperately, I urged myself awake, trying to gather the Force to help clear the effects of the drug. Rolling to my hands and knees, I started seeing foggy shadows as my eyesight began to return. Pez trilled above my head, and I looked up to see the blurry form of Ashara standing in front of me. The door to the interior of the ship was open and blaster fire was coming through at us. Pez buzzed back and forth in front of Ashara, shooting his little blaster rapidly as I sat back, rubbed my eyes, and then managed to collect my lightsaber lying on the floor nearby. Igniting it, I struggled to my feet, feeling my head spin.
"What's happening?" I choked out, leaning over when my stomach churned violently.
"They've got us trapped in here," Ashara replied anxiously. "I didn't pass out but got sick and lethargic. They thought we were both out and tried to rush us but I ignited my lightsabers and scared them off. They've been shooting at us but haven't tried to rush me again."
"We can't remain here," I thought out loud, recognizing our precarious position.
"Cut through the door behind you and we'll escape," Ashara urged.
My head began to clear, helped by a rush of adrenaline and the darkness churning inside of me. The men who tried to capture us - I knew what they were planning, what they would have done to us, and they deserved to pay. "It's too dangerous," I countered, "they'll just come after us . . ."
Revenge filled my mind as the ghost of Darth Andru surged into my consciousness. His presence cleared the rest of the drug from my head and filled me with a rush of the Force. The ancient Sith was not there to help me, that much I sensed. He was there to revel in the killing. I slashed out with my lightsaber at the ghost's behest, cutting a hole in the wall next to me. Stepping through, I found a small chase where the slats penetrated the airlock wall. Two bodies lay on the floor, apparently knocked out by their own pellets when I Force pushed them back at the shooters. One of the bodies began to move and I attacked, making sure he could not threaten us again. I dispatched the second prone figure before moving forward into the hallway beyond the inner door. Bandits fired at me from down the hall and I blocked their bolts as I crossed over to the other side. Another prone figure lay in the chase on the opposite side and I dispatched him before turning around to see Ashara looking at me in horror. She had just seen me kill a defenseless man.
"They deserve no mercy," I stated hoarsely as I stepped past her back into the hallway. My head was finally clear and the ghost was urging for blood, filling me with rage that I could barely control. I rushed down the hallway toward the men shooting at us, the rusty brown deck plates clanking under my boots, Pez and Ashara following behind me. Most of the pirates turned and ran when they saw my lightsaber, moving in opposite directions out of sight. I cut down the two that chose to stand and fight in the junction before Force leaping after the group that had run to my right. The bandits had turned down the main corridor of the old ship and started firing blindly as they raced away. Another Force leap put me right in the middle of them and I slashed violently with my lightsaber, cutting down several more. One large, scaly Trandoshan tried to fight me with shielded cuffs and a stun baton but I ducked under his manic swings and sliced off his legs. He fell to the flood with a howl and a thud, but his efforts were enough to slow me down so that his friends could reach what looked like the bridge of the derelict ship. They fired at me several more times before closing the blast doors. I rushed to the doors and noticed how sturdy they were in frustration. A lightsaber could burn through them but it would take time.
Pez and Ashara came up to me standing at the closed doors just as blaster fire came at us from the opposite end of the hallway. The bandit leader and several other men were blocking the intersection we had just come from. "Stay here and guard the door," I told Ashara before rushing back down the corridor at the bandit leader. The blaster fire was intense, and without the prescience of the Force I would have been shot down quickly. As it was, I felt a bolt graze my thigh when I did not dodge fast enough. Lightning sprung to my fingertips, thanks to Darth Andru, and I hurled it down the hallway. The bluish-purple energy struck two bandits, making them twist and spin painfully as the leader and another ducked back into a crossing hallway. To my surprise, blaster fire started coming at my back and I spun to see the bridge blast doors open. The bandits were trying one last time to overwhelm us from both ends of the hallway.
Ashara would have to hold her own for a moment because I was too far away to help and needed to deal with the leader. Force leaping the remaining distance to the intersection, I dispatched the two men affected by lightning before they could recover. The bandit leader was close, hiding in the cross corridor, and blasted me with multiple blaster shots, one that glanced off my shoulder before I could move out of its way. Pain shot through me and I cried out in agony and rage. He leveled his blaster at my head but before he pulled the trigger, I thrust out my left hand and Force pushed him violently, sending his body hurling into the ceiling and then falling hard to the floor. My Force sense warned me of danger right before a bandit fired at my back, and I spun away just in time, pouring lightning into the Rodian who shot at me. He shook and cried out before falling to his knees and I stuck him through the heart. The Duros leader cried out in pain while trying to get up but his leg was bent oddly and would not hold his weight. The darkness inside of me was pulsing and swirling with hate and rage, and the ghosts were cackling and cheering on the killing. I felt the Force rushing into and through me, making me feel powerful as I moved down the corridor to the crawling bandit leader.
"Please," he begged, "don't kill me." He put up a hand as if to ward me off, his strange, slitted eyes wide with panic. "I've got a stash, spare me and it's yours. Anything you want," he pleaded.
I fought desperately to control the urge within me to end the creep's life. He deserved to die for trying to capture us and what he likely would have done had he succeeded, but I also knew that he might be useful at the moment. Suddenly, I heard Ashara cry out and remembered that she and Pez were fighting by the bridge. I left the wounded leader and rushed to the main corridor, looking down toward the bridge to see Ashara standing with her lightsabers held up defensively. Pez shifted to look back at me with his red eye.
"Pez, come here," I ordered.
"Dweep," the droid chirped as he thrust his way toward me.
"Keep an eye on him," I stated, pointing my lightsaber at the bandit leader while Force pulling his weapon to my hand. "If he tries to get away, kill him."
I rushed down the hall to Ashara, who was standing stiffly, her eyes staring down at the fallen forms of two bandits, the ones who had locked themselves in the bridge. Stepping around into her vision I noticed a shocked, blank look in her eyes.
"Ashara," I said gently, glancing around the bridge to make sure there were no more threats, clicking off my lightsaber when I sensed it was safe. "Ashara!" I called harder when she did not respond. Her eyes looked at me blankly. "Shut off your lightsabers," I told her. She stood rigid and shaky as her eyes looked back down at the body by her feet - that of a human man with black hair and brown eyes staring off into eternity. "Hey!" I yelled to get her attention again. "Turn off your lightsabers, you don't need them anymore."
Ashara gazed at me with confused, emotional green eyes before looking down at her hands and deliberately working her fingers to shut the weapons off. Then, I stepped close to her, trying to block her view of the men she had killed. I looked her over to make sure she was okay, noticing a burn mark on her right side where a blaster bolt had nicked her. My eyes held her gaze as her breathing quickened and her hands began to shake.
"It's okay," I soothed, "you did what you had to."
"I . . ." she tried to speak before her face twisted up and she spun away from me, taking a couple of tentative steps into the main corridor before doubling over and retching.
I walked over to her and put a hand on her shoulder, remembering the first time I had taken someone's life and how hard it hit me. While she struggled to control her stomach, I did some quick math in my head to account for the bandits. We had fought fourteen, with the leader and legless Trandoshan still alive. The rest of the hideout would need to be searched and secured, and I wanted to make sure that our speeder was safe, but Ashara was shaking and her breaths were ragged.
"Use the Force to calm yourself," I urged. "I need you, Ashara, this isn't over yet." I tugged her by her arm to move further away from the mess on the floor, hoping it would help her stomach calm.
She spun against me then, wrapping her arms around me in a bear hug and burying her face in my shoulder. "Oh, my God!" she cried out, "what have I done?"
"Shh," I soothed, gripping her shoulders with my hands. "It's going to be okay." Ashara started to sob against me, and I held her, sensing the profound emotions she was dealing with. "You did what you had to do," I whispered, "they gave you no choice." Moments passed and I worried about the need to finish securing the hideout, but I waited, knowing that my apprentice was more important. Pez chirped from down the corridor, his red eye watching us with what looked to be worry. The injured Trandoshan groaned in pain and tried to shift on the floor, but I ignored him to stay focused on Ashara.
"Come with me," I urged after a bit, putting my arm around her waist and ushering her back toward the bridge. I shielded her eyes from the fallen pirates and sat her down in one of the bridge command seats farthest from the door. Sitting next to her, I patted her shoulder and tried to calm her down. She leaned back into me and started to cry hard, the shock and broken emotions within her pouring out. Despite my concern for our safety and needing to check the rest of the base, I took the time to console Ashara, knowing that she would need to resolve the conflicting feelings within her. After taking someone's life, she would never be the same.
