This chapter took longer to write than it should have, I apologize.


"When I woke up the next day, I was so excited that the Boiling Isles and the Owl House were real and not just something I dreamed up."

"What!?" exclaimed Azura. "You didn't think this world was real!?"

"I'm gonna be honest with you, mija," said Luz. "Some of the dreams I had when I was younger were weird. Dreaming I traveled to another world and met a witch is kinda mundane compared to those. I kinda dreamed I was on an anime magical girl team with magic superpowered transformations." She paused for a few seconds. "I guess that ended up happening, didn't it? Anyway, I said good morning to Luz and Hooty and then looked in the closet for witchy clothes."

"Witchy clothes?" Azura was confused. While the fashions aren't quite the same, overall clothes in the Human and Demon Realms aren't different.

"Humans didn't know a whole lot about witches, and for some reason we thought they wore black cloaks and pointed hats," said Luz. She grabbed her Azura figurine again."Azura's outfit is kind of a fancy white version of that."


"Does that mean Azura's outfit is racist?" Hal asked.

"Huh? What does that mean?" said Syl.

"Oh, it's a Human Realm word," Hal replied. "I heard Dad say that Belos was 'racist' toward witches and demons."

"Nah, it's not racist," said Luna. "I found an outfit like that in Mom and Nini's closet— it was Nini's Halloween costume one year. Sure, it was before they knew witches were real, but it's not meant to be offensive."

"The more you know!" Melody exclaimed.


"The cloak was just a bathrobe and the hat was a traffic cone coated with dirt." Luz chuckled a bit. "Definitely not my finest moment. Anyway, Eda woke up and it turned out she barely even remembered me because she hadn't had her apple blood yet. She drank so much that alcohol became her caffeine."

"That doesn't sound safe," said Azura.

"Oh, it's not. I don't want you to get addicted to the hard stuff like your granny." Luz leaned in close and whispered in her daughter's ear. "Don't tell her I said this, but hard apple blood tastes like mierda."


"You guys heard what Mami said," said Azura. "Don't tell Eda hard apple blood tastes like crap."

"She told you not to tell her," Dratina noted. "The rest of us can."

Azura smirked. "Oh, would you really take that chance?"

Dratina's face flushed a bit. "No… I wouldn't… at least not until I'm older and more confident."


"So after Eda drank a bit and remembered the previous day, I hounded her with a bunch of questions. Stuff like when would I get my magic staff and when would we go on our next magical quest. Eda rightfully told me I needed to slow down because learning magic doesn't happen overnight. And I wouldn't get my staff the traditional way since she didn't want me going to Hexside at first."

"What?" said Azura. "But she's a legend at Hexside! You're a legend at Hexside."

"But the school also blindly preached the expected system," said Luz. "And at the time neither of us could've ever imagined all the changes I initiated. I'd firmly internalized that I would never amount to anything on my own, so I might as well do chores for Eda in exchange for magic lessons."


"She thought she wouldn't amount to anything!?" Syl angrily slammed his fists on the table. "That makes me SO ANGRY!"

"Syl, if you keep reacting like this every time Aunt Luz says something like that, we're gonna be here all day," said Julie.

Syl crossed his arms in defiance. "I guess that's how it's gonna be then."


"Obviously she eventually caved and let me go to Hexside, but that wouldn't be for a few weeks," said Luz. "Anyway, Eda handed me a bag of potions she was selling and had me deliver them to certain customers in Bonesborough. I'm not quite sure what all of the potions were, but one of them was snake oil." She chuckled a bit but stopped when she saw Azura's confused expression. "Oh! In the Human Realm, 'snake oil' is slang for phony medical treatments. So actual snake oil existing was kinda funny."

"That's the lotion you put on Stringbean, right?"

"Yeah, it moistens her skin!" Luz paused for a moment. "And I'm pretty sure I've seen Vee and Luna use some when they thought I wasn't looking."


Luna blushed as everyone looked in her direction. "It can be expensive…" she muttered.


"Well, Eda warned me to be careful because her rivals might try to sabotage, and also not to trust guys wearing sandals. That probably sounds like nonsense but it ended up being helpful advice… or at least it would've been if I listened to it. We'll get to what I mean soon."

"I'm guessing you trusted a guy wearing sandals and you shouldn't have," said Azura.

"100% correct, cariño," said Luz. "And luckily Eda had a backup bag of potions because I dropped the first one when I tried to salute her."

Azura giggled.

Luz looked pretty embarrassed. "Yeah, I was a little too eager. And I'm glad King came with me, 'cause I would've gotten lost instantly. When the two of us got to the center of town, I stopped and just admired the world around me. King called the Boiling Isles a 'cesspool of despair', which I guess was kinda true, but I tried to look at things optimistically. Unfortunately, I looked at things too optimistically." She sighed. "Overall, this wasn't one of my finest days. I thought that maybe being a human in a nonhuman world made me destined for greatness… or some other garbage like that. Luckily what happened that day made me lose that mindset, but I'm getting ahead of myself."

Azura leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Luz. "I think you need a hug, Mami."

Luz smiled and returned the hug. "Gracias. And I'm definitely gonna need another one by the end of this part of the story."

Azura looked up and smiled confidently. "I'll be ready!"


"And I was!" said Azura with a smile.

"I thought Luz's story didn't get real angsty until later," said Dratina.

"That didn't mean there weren't some sad moments near the beginning," said Peony. "And hugs are always welcome no matter the occasion."

Hal hummed. He could think of a few situations where hugging would definitely be inappropriate (in the middle of surgery, for example), but decided to keep his mouth shut.


"Overall, delivering the potions was uneventful until the final stop. I mean, there were some silly moments because I was still expecting things to work like they do on Earth. Like doorbells that don't try to bite you after you press them."

Azura nodded. "Of course."


"Wow, the Human Realm sure is weird!" said Syl.

"Eh," said Azura. "Earth doorbells aren't that weird."


"I was getting kinda bummed that my magical journey was kinda boring, while Azura had already been granted a quest. But things seemingly changed when King and I went to deliver the last package to this guy Adegast who lived in a big mansion. King said we should just leave the package and head home but my curiosity got the best of me. We went inside and met Adegast and he looked really friendly."

"Sandals?" said Azura knowingly.

Luz nodded. "Yep. Other than that he looked like a typical wizard."

Azura tilted her head in confusion. "A what?"

"You know, a wizard. Like a witch but with 'zard' in the name."

Azura's confusion only grew, and Stringbean looked equally puzzled. "Wizards are real?" Azura questioned. "I thought those were fictional things from the Azura books. What are they anyway?"

"Hmm… what's a wizard…?" Luz thought for a few seconds. "King said wizards are old people with glitter in their pockets."

"I don't get it," said Azura after a second.


"A wizard? I've never heard of that" said Julie.

"Is that something from the coven era?" asked Lobo.

"I don't think so," said Hal. "No one ever mentions them."

"Ooh, a mystery!" shouted Melody.


"It's a more common word on Earth," said Luz. "Some media, like Azura, says wizards are male while witches are female, and others like the magic franchise that shall not be named calls everyone who does magic a wizard. But we good witches don't associate with that franchise."

Azura wasn't exactly sure what her Mami was talking about, but decided to not question it. "If you say so."

"Now that I think about it," said Luz, "I never met another wizard and no one ever mentioned them again. If my life was a TV show, wizards would be one of those things from an early episode that never appear again and the show acts like they never existed in the first place." She chuckled a little. "Anyway, King said I shouldn't trust the wizard, but he changed his mind once Adegast offered snacks."

Azura laughed at that. "He's so silly!"

"He really is," said Luz with a smile. "So Adegast asked why I delivered the potion instead of Eda, and I explained that I was her apprentice and how I thought I'd have fun in the Booling Isles instead of doing chores. And once Adegast mentioned he had a quest for me, I fell right for his scam."

"But Mami, you always tell me about stranger danger!" said Azura.

"You're right, mija. I shouldn't have accepted a quest from a guy I just met, but critical thinking isn't my strong suit. He handed me a map about a young human who would claim a Celestial Staff and save the world from an ancient evil. And only the chosen one could get this staff. Yes, I know it obviously sounds too good to be true, but I bought it. Every. Single. Word. I was just a stupid, naive child!"


"Syl, calm down!"


"Mami!"

"No, it's true," said Luz.

"But you did save the world from an ancient evil!" Azura protested. "The prophecy was right!"

"The prophecy was accidentally right. I was only able to defeat Belos after lots of character development. Anyway," Luz waved her hand in a dismissive manner. "This big moral stuff is supposed to come at the end of the episode. So we left and went home and I started speculating what kind of Chosen One I'd be. King started laughing at how I believed Adegast, and when he explained it to Eda, she laughed even harder."

Azura frowned. "That wasn't nice."

"They apologized for that a long time ago, but no, it wasn't," said Luz. "Eda pointed out that there wasn't a lake with a Celestial Staff, 'cause if there was, she would've already stolen it. Which is a fair point, I guess. Then she said that eventually I wouldn't look like such an easy person to scam. I got bummed and asked them to leave me alone, but then I noticed that when sunlight shone on the map, a hidden message appeared. It said that the path to the staff would only appear to the worthy, so I figured that must've been why Eda and King didn't see it. So without informing anyone, I slipped out the window and followed the path." A sheepish look appeared on Luz's face. "I know people look up to me as a role model, but let's hope they ignore this part."


"Too late! I'm gonna do that all the time now!" said Lobo.

"Freedom!" shouted Melody.


"So I went through the woods outside Bonesborough armed with nothing but a cheap plastic sword. Pretty quickly I found this village filled with cat people. And I know right now you're thinking that obviously that village doesn't actually exist, but I'd only been on the Boiling Isles for a day at that point, so I thought it was perfectly reasonable. And in the middle of this town was Nevareth, a very attractive teenage witch."

Azura gasped. "You? Attracted to someone that's not Mom? I don't believe it."

"Well, I hadn't met your Mom yet so I was allowed to swoon over other people," said Luz. "Anyway, Nevareth had the most generic tragic backstory you could think of. And I'm pretty sure he called himself the 'Teen Prince of Angstmore.'"

Azura giggled at that title. "That sounds like someone from those bad fanfics you read to me."

"Yeah, but with even less creativity. And along the way I met more companions like this little furry thing named Chris and some fairy princess. They all gave me cheap items which would supposedly aid me, and Nevareth even gave me his shirt to use as a cape." Luz then leaned in closely toward Azura, as if there were other people in the house who might hear what she's about to say. "I just wanna say that objectively, his shirtless chiseled abs were hot. Objectively!"

"So you don't want Mom to know you said that?" asked Azura.

"Oh, she already knows," said Luz cryptically. "She's got a sixth sense for stuff like that."


At the same time, Amity was busy working when she was suddenly struck with jealousy. "I bet Luz just thought about a past crush!" she thought to herself. Luz would have to make up for that with a lot of kisses later.


"Did she really know?" asked Syl.

Azura nodded. "Oh, she definitely knew."


"It wasn't long before we reached the lake with the Celestial Staff. My companions congratulated me as I walked across a stone bridge to reach it. I grabbed the staff, raised it triumphantly above my head… and it disintegrated into dust. That's when the illusions started to fade away."

Azura raised an eyebrow. "Illusions?"

"Oh yeah, Adegast was using illusions on me all day," said Luz. "In all honesty, he was excellent. Probably second only to Gus from what I've seen."


"He won't have that title for long," said Julie smugly. "Pretty soon I'll be the second-best illusionist on the Isles."

"Do you really think you can get that good?"

"Sure, the colors of my uniform have been wrong all day and no one's noticed."

Everyone looked at Julie's uniform and saw that indeed, the colors were incorrect. Instead of eight track colors like there should've been, only green and red were visible.

Julie snapped her fingers and the illusion dissipated. "I think that's a good sign of my potential."


"And he wasn't a wizard at all! He was an octopus-like puppeteer demon and all the allies I met that day were just his puppets: the wizard, Nevareth, all of them!"

"So you've never met a real wizard, then," Azura noted.

Luz thought about that for a moment. "You're right. So what even is a wizard!?" She turned to her Palisman. "Do you know, Beanie?"

Stringbean hissed, which roughly translated, meant "You carved me— I barely know anything that you don't."

"Oh, right." Luz turned back to Azura. "She doesn't know either."


"Maybe another Palisman might know," said Dratina. "One that's been around since before our parents were born."

"Good idea!" Melody immediately jumped out of her seat and ran to the other side of the cafeteria where Skara was chatting with another teacher. "Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!"

"Hi Sweetie!" Skara gave Melody a quick hug.

"Does Kricketune know what wizards are!?"

Skara blinked with shock— she certainly wasn't expecting a question like that. She glanced over to her Palisman perched on her shoulder. "Do you?"

The cricket chipped, telling Skara he didn't know.

Skara turned back to Melody. "Apparently not."

"Okay, thanks!" Melody ran back to the table.

"Did you learn anything?" asked Peony.

Melody gave a big smile before a flat expression replaced it. "No, nothing."


"So yeah, everyone was a puppet controlled by Adegast's tentacles." Luz paused for a bit. "I wonder if there's any connection between his puppets and what the Collector did to everybody. I'll have to ask them about puppeteer demons the next time I see them. Anyway, Adegast revealed that this was all a trap to get to Eda, since she was competition to his own potion business. I was confident Eda wouldn't fall into his trap, but she showed up right there and then."

"How did she know where you were?" asked Azura.

"Well, the whole time while I was going on my faux quest, Eda and King had a little adventure of their own. Eda got suspicious of this wizard guy so she had King take her to that mansion and everything was in shambles, like no one had been there in years. Apparently they found a bunch of Chosen One scrolls just like the one I got, so they followed the path and saw that the cat village was broken and abandoned too."

"Oh wow, those were good illusions," said Azura.


"I could still do better," said Julie.

Luna rolled her eyes. "Alright, we get it."


"Eda told Adegast to let me go, since it was her he wanted, but Adegast was all like 'No no no, little Luz prefers these illusions. Let me send her back to fantasyland!'"

"Jerk," said Azura.

"Darn right he was," said Luz. "I was kind of sent to this dark void with all the puppets. They told me to stay, that I could be their chosen one, that I wouldn't have to go back to a world where everyone laughed at me. And I won't lie, for a second it was really tempting, but I realized I would rather face a harsh reality than live in some dumb fantasy. I grabbed that plastic sword and started stabbing the puppets! I got Nevareth right through his stupid flawless pecs and he disappeared. Once most of the puppets were gone, Adegast got desperate and grabbed King, saying he would squeeze him to death if we didn't back off. I apologized for not listening to King's warning and then I kicked the toy sword right into Adegast's head. I'm not sure how I managed to do that, but I did. Adegast dropped King and shrunk down to a teeny-tiny size… and then Eda ate him."

"Did he taste good?" asked Azura.

"I don't really want to think about it," said Luz. "Anyway, I was pretty bummed after what happened but Eda said there was something she wanted to show me. She put a blindfold on me and flew me out to the southern edge of the Isles and when I took the blindfold off, that's when I saw the majesty of the Titan for the first time. Up close this world may not look too great, but from another perspective it truly is magical. Okay, now we're gonna get back to the lesson I mentioned earlier. Eda told me that 'chosen ones' aren't really a thing. People wanna think they're predestined for greatness, but that's not how life works. We have to choose our path ourselves."


"This is concerning," said Syl. "I'm modeling my life on Luz's. But she says I have to choose my own path. So following her means not following her! It's a paradox! Aaaaahhhhh!"

"Dude," said Hal, "as long as you do good things and appreciate the world around you, you're doing what Luz would do."

"Oh… yeah, that makes sense," said Syl.


"And it was truly an important lesson because there was another human who considered himself the chosen one when he came to the Boiling Isles. He pretended he was important and convinced himself it was his divinely given duty to do whatever he pleased 'for the good of humanity.'"

Azura didn't need to ask to know exactly who Luz was talking about. "Oh…"

"Chosen ones are a fine trope in fiction, but not in real life. And while I did end up having the Titan's favor, that was because of my own actions and mine alone. And because of that, I have an adorable staff of my own." Luz smiled and nuzzled Stringbean affectionately. "So the next little episode of my journey is when I met your Mom and Willow and Gus!"


Skara's Palisman is nicknamed Kricketune because when she was younger she bought some Pokémon merch from Eda's stall and remembered the name on Palisman Adoption Day.