A/N: Big thank you to everyone who has been reading this story. It means more to us than you will ever know :). Here is the latest chapter it is back in 1st POV from Sara's POV. The original meaning for the title of this chapter is literally the fear of the unknown. We hope you enjoy it and please drop us a line to let us know what you think and any suggestions for what you might like to see down the road!


It had been nearly a week since I had what I refer to as my 'gone crazy' moment. A week since I left my newly appointed position, as head of the Las Vegas Crime Lab, to chase after my ex-husband. Hopping on a plane with little more than the clothes on my back to reach him before he set out on the high seas again.

I call it my 'gone crazy' moment but I don't regret a minute of it. Our reunion was something for the movies and sailing off into the sunset was literally a storybook moment right up there with him chasing me down in the rainforest. Now this week hasn't been all roses. We've both been single for nearly 3 years and before that our relationship was mainly long distance but we're making it work because we both know how rare this second chance is. It was a miracle the camera was still recording when Gil was talking to Heather. We spent a long night talking through our divorce. It was hard and there were many tears on both sides but it was necessary and we grew so much from that conversation. Afterall, if we don't study our past, we're just doomed to repeat it.

Growing up I didn't have a good example of what a loving relationship was. Hell I didn't even really know what it was like to be loved by my own parents. Until I was unconditionally loved by Gil I never knew such a love truly existed. I'd read about it and seen it from a far but I always assumed it looked better than it actually was. I was wrong.

For years I tried to not love him but it was as if some higher power was pushing me to not give up on him (not that I'm totally sold on this higher power business but it's growing on me). When Gil finally came around I realized that reality was far better than any fantasy. Like me he was a very private person. He held back so much when he was around others and when we were alone he poured so much of his heart and soul into everything he did it was truly an honor to be loved by this man. To see and experience things that no one else would ever see, it was intoxicating.

I know many people never understood my attraction to the man (beyond his devilishly handsome good looks) but that's because they never knew the man behind the mask. That he was more than an eccentric scientist and introverted supervisor whose office looked like something out of the Ripley's Believe It or Not Museum.

I remember the first time Greg came over to our house post Natalie. Since our relationship was now out in the open there was no need to hide anymore. Gil had opened the door wearing jeans and a sweatshirt with his feet bare and his hair looking a little wild. I'll never forget Greg's reaction as Gil brought us over a freshly made batch of homemade popcorn.

"Here Sara, you better take this before I eat the whole bowl by myself," he'd said, his blue eyes twinkling.

I giggled grabbing the bowl as Gil headed for his office while Greg popped in the movie he'd rented. When he returned to the couch he had a bewildered look on his face.

"Wait, the bossman wears jeans, and eats popcorn? He also has feet. Like actual human feet."

I burst out laughing at his comment.

This was the Gilbert Grissom that people seldom got to see. He was a deeply emotional person who'd built a shell around his heart to protect himself from having to deal with the strong feelings he didn't know how to process. He told me I was the first person to break through. The first person who was patient enough to give him time to work through his complex emotions and to see him for the man he truly was.

It's been 7 days. Seven wonderful days full of passion, tears, smiles and hours of laughter. Seven magnificent days reunited with my best friend. I've completed more crossword puzzles in the past week than I have in 3 years. This reunion was everything I dreamed it would be and now I'm wondering if this was all too good to be true.

I'm standing here on the side of the Ishmael wondering how I am going to tell said man about the phone call I just received. I had gone for a physical two weeks ago and since it had been more than a few years since my last one, they decided to draw an extensive blood panel. I knew it would all come back fine so I hadn't thought about it once I left. Twenty minutes ago I received a call from my doctor's office.

"Hello, Is Sara Sidle available?"

"Speaking," I answered.

After confirming my date of birth and other identifying information they informed me of the reason for their call.

"We're calling because we have the results of the bloodwork Dr. Swanson ordered a few weeks ago. The doctor would like you to make an appointment to meet with her as soon as possible."

I took a deep breath before responding.

"I'm currently not in Vegas. Is there any way the doctor can call me and I can just discuss the results with her over the phone?" It seemed like a reasonable option to me but I guess I was the only one in a mood to be reasonable.

"Unfortunately with these types of results the doctor will only speak to you in person."

I was desperately trying not to panic as I tried to formulate a response. Not only was I worried but I was pissed. These types of results?! What the hell did that mean?

"Are you sure there's no way for the doctor to call me?"

"Ma'am it's like I told you before, Dr. Swanson will only discuss these types of results with you in person. You need to make an appointment to meet with her and I suggest you do it as soon as possible."

"OK well I need to speak to my husband as we're out of town and I'll call you back." Wait, I'd just referred to Gil as my husband. Well I'd have to analyze that later, I had more important things to worry about.

"No problem, Our office is open till 5 today. Call us back after you do."

My hands were white knuckling the railing as I looked out over the open ocean around us. What was I going to say? We'd only been reunited for a week and now I might be facing some serious health issues. What if it was too much for him to take? What if it was too much for me to throw at him? He'd probably say it was nothing we couldn't get through together but did I want to burden him with this?

I was lost in thought when I felt his arms come around my waist as he kissed the back of my head.

"Penny for your thoughts dear," he said in such a sweet voice I wanted to cry.

It took me a moment before I had the courage to speak. I put my hands over his as I spoke.

"Gil, we need to talk."