Dinner was even more awkward than breakfast.

As Sasuke predicted, Itachi didn't come down.

When I asked about it, Aunt Mikoto said she called for him, but he declined. She respected his need for space.

Itachi's dad put down his tea.

"I'll have him return to duty next week."

Aunt Mikoto looked at him, concerned.

"Is that necessary?"

"There is no need for the village to get concerned. Besides, I'm not sure how much this break is helping him."

"He can benefit from more rest."

"This isn't what rest looks like."

Aunt Mikoto said nothing.

She gave in.

"And what does rest look like?"

Everyone looked at me.

I casually picked up another green bean with my chopsticks.

"Joining the family at dinner, for one," Itachi's dad said calmly.

"Maybe the family is what he's taking a break from," I said calmly.

"Would anyone like more rice?" Aunt Mikoto asked.

"No," Itachi's dad and I said at the same time.

Sasuke nearly spilled his soup.

"Itachi isn't working next week, right Auntie?" I said.

"Ah—"

"Itachi is not her responsibility. He is mine to observe and manage…"

"And that's the problem," I grumbled.

"...and decide what is best," Itachi's dad finished with a glare.

"Kenta showed me this wonderful pudding recipe," Aunt Mikoto said. "Would anybody—"

"I'm good."

"No, thank you."

"Later, Auntie."

Aunt Mikoto kept an unbreakable smile.

"Okay," she said.

When it came time for cleanup, I was snatching all the leftovers and putting them in different bowls. Aunt Mikoto noticed and helped me. She gave me a tray to put all the food on, including utensils and a small plate with two jiggly puddings.

"Make sure he's okay?" she asked me softly.

I nodded.

With the tray, I ran upstairs.

I knocked.

I knocked again.

I tried sliding the door and found it wasn't locked. I peeked inside.

"Itachi?"

I worried that the room was empty, but Itachi was there. He was emptily looking out the window.

"Ayae."

"I brought you some food!"

I bumped the door more open with my butt.

"I don't know if you know this, but if you don't eat… you die. Shocking!"

Itachi didn't argue with me. He got up and helped me with the tray.

He slid the door close behind us.

I took that as an invitation to crash. I immediately made myself comfy in his room, grabbing a pillow and rolling on the floor.

I watched him while he ate.

"So…" I began.

"I have nothing to say about Shisui," he said dryly.

"We don't have to talk about him."

Itachi met my gaze.

"I already spoke to Aunt Asa."

He saw I understood. He had not expected that.

Slowly, he went back to his meal, but it was obvious he had no appetite for it.

"I apologize for this morning," he said, breaking me out of my thoughts. "You deserved an appropriate welcome, not… what I had."

"Ah, to be fair, I could have given notice," I said, laughing weakly.

"Is it because I missed your dance performance?"

"Eh?"

"You are free to express your disappointment or displeasure, if you feel now is the time."

I stared at him.

Itachi had stopped eating, just looking blankly at the food.

He was waiting.

"Itachi…" I said, slowly rising up to a sit. "I didn't come to yell at you. I came to help you."

The silence was heavy.

"With what?" he asked.

"Anything. Everything?" I leaned in and whispered. "Getting you out of this whole ninja thing?" I straightened back up, hugging the pillow. "Itachi, you've done so much for me. It's my turn now!"

"Ayae, you… are aware you are not obligated to me?" Itachi said quietly, his hand stilled. "You are not in my debt. With you, what you've wanted… I was not unwilling."

I could only stare at him.

"Yes," I drawled. "And I… am… also… willing. Super willing. Me want to help. How can I help?" I leaned back in. "Just tell me what you're thinking. Fake your death? Run away? We can do the sick thing, but you might want to, like, katon the thermometer a bit."

Itachi studied me.

I insisted on speaking honestly, so he gave in and dropped the pretense too.

With a wave of his hand, everything out the window stopped moving. The shadows went still. All echos were gone, our voices clear as crystal.

"You're no longer under the influence of the village."

"Unbrainwashed." I made the peace sign.

"You remember what I told you about my role in the village."

"Unamnesia'ed." I gave the thumbs up.

"The military…"

"Is evil."

"Why are you here."

"Oh my god."

I slammed the pillow against my face. Wasn't Itachi the smart one?!

"How many times are you going to make me say it?"

"Why would you want to help something you deem evil."

"I didn't say you were evil."

"I only serve the evil military," Itachi said dryly.

"Doesn't mean you are the military."

"Distinction without a difference."

I stared at him, baffled.

"What do you think a military village is, Ayae? A location on a map? A set of buildings and infrastructure? Ideology? It's people, Ayae. People who each day, every day, make the choice to run and operate it, support and protect it. A military exists purely within the decision and will of the people inside it, and I am one of those people."

My mom's bingo book came flashing back to me.

My mom would agree.

Emu and En's notebook came flashing back to me.

My Kurohyou friends would agree too.

They had taught me to not let evil hide behind false names.

What can you do when a military commits crimes? Nothing. There is nothing you can do. You are fighting words and abstracts, an illusion of something not there.

What can you do when people commit crimes? Everything. People are fragile. People can be touched. They can be yelled at. Locked up. Punished.

Killed.

And Mayu was okay with that.

"But… you don't have to be," I said dumbly. "You didn't want to be a ninja. You still don–"

"I am," Itachi said coldly. "If I could and would choose differently, why have I not?"

That…

… was a good question.

Unlike me, Itachi knew.

He knew from the very beginning, as my one friend who tried to talk me out of becoming a ninja.

Why hadn't he… done the same for himself?

Itachi kept asking why I was here, but why was he here? Why had he been here when I first arrived at Konoha? And why was he still here, even after I had left, and Shisui left, and Michio left.

"Is there a reason you can't leave like the rest of us?"

Itachi said nothing.

My stomach sank.

I went quiet.

Then,

"If not leave, what about fight?"

Itachi looked at me strangely.

"What if we just bring the whole thing down, what if—!"

Itachi waited but even I wasn't sure what I was saying.

"If we just ended the ninja system?" Itachi finished for me.

"You know about—!"

"Akatsuki, yes."

Itachi suddenly looked very tired.

Thanks to whatever jutsu Itachi did, no one would be able to overhear us. If I wanted us to speak honestly, then Itachi would speak honestly.

"The duty of black ops is to identify and eliminate all threats to the village. Akatsuki, as a terrorist force, is classified as a C-rank threat."

"C…?"

"Easily neutralized by qualified agents. Akatsuki is not something that can ever be eradicated, but their progress is not difficult to disrupt nor the movement as a whole challenging to undermine.

"Strategically, their victory predicates on the conversion of multiple countries back into autonomous territories, which can then form an unified coalition capable of taking down the remaining countries and their militia by force.

"It is improbable without at least one of the Five Great Shinobi Countries having undergone a revolution. Fire is the least likely, with the longest shinobi tradition and over two hundred years of warring states conflict. Wind is the second least likely, being a vassal state of Fire since the Third War. Lightning has devolved into a surveillance state with a military-controlled information network and economic system. And Earth has resisted change, in any direction, for three thousand years.

"Which leaves Water, which did have a coup in the name of liberation that resulted in a decade of embargo, famine, and ultimately civil war that led to the installation of one of the bloodiest dictatorships in history."

Itachi caught my reaction.

Exhaling, he picked up his spoon.

"There are successes. We have at least one country which has adopted the ideology and converted both peacefully and covertly. But one minor country, as it stands, is inconsequential to Konoha and to us. Hardly whatever dream you are envisioning."

"You… know a lot about this," I said numbly.

"These are the basics any member of Akatsuki would know and should assume their enemy operatives would also know.

"If Akatsuki is what you care for, there is no need to help me. A better objective would be to kill me while I am still a valuable asset to the village, while the opportunity is yours."

Itachi finished his soup.

He waited. My turn.

I was understanding what Sasuke meant now. About how difficult it was to talk to Itachi, when he was so casually cruel like this.

I deflated.

I grabbed a tiny dessert spoon from the tray and poked at one of the puddings.

Pouting, I took a bite.

"Itachi, you know your situation best. As a ninja, what do you want help with?" I mumbled into the spoon.

It was a good thing that no matter how stubborn Itachi was, he could count on me to be even more stubborn. Ten times more stubborn. A hundred times more stubborn. So if he was going to make me say it again, then I'd say it again, I'd say it until the heat death of the universe, I'd say it until it finally got through to Mr. Prodigy Genius here.

"I'm not here for Akatsuki, I'm here for you," I said. "Whether you are good or evil, I don't know and I don't care. All I know is that I like you, so whatever you are, then I must be too."

As I dug my spoon back in for more jiggly goodness, I giggled.

Itachi looked at me questioningly.

"Just thinking back to our arguments growing up and I realized something."

"What?"

I stuck out my tongue.

"I've always won."

Not because my dumb ass can beat him, but because the silly boy folds. And looking into his eyes, I could already tell it was going to happen again.

I decided to just eat my pudding and be patient until then. For the last wall to drop, because it must be hard, pretending to not like the people you like or want the things you want.

I would know.