November 1st, 2001. 12:12 am

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From the moment they had all voted to go to war, Shinji knew that sleep would elude him tonight. He expected it to be due to the anxiety of the impending battle, but there was an added layer of restlessness gnawing at him,—the unresolved tension between him and Hiyori. He had convinced himself that he didn't care that he could set those feelings aside and deal with them later, but it was proving to be more challenging than he had imagined.

Tired and irritable, Shinji retreated to his room in an attempt to find some semblance of rest. He lay on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, but sleep remained elusive. He sighed and let out a puff of air in frustration as he got up from the bed. There was no point trying to force sleep when his mind was so troubled - it would only lead to more aimless tossing and turning. Determined to distract himself from these confusing feelings, he decided to resort to jinzen, a form of meditation that could help calm his restless mind. Releasing his reiatsu, Shinji began to levitate above his bed in an inverted position, with his head almost touching his grey sheets, his Zanpakutō, Sakanade, held in his lap. Slowly, the world around him transformed, and he found himself in the surreal landscape of his inner world—a vast, upside-down desert with a crimson sun hanging low in the sky, casting long, distorted shadows.

As Shinji adapted to this inner realm, a lengthy shadow approached him, gradually assuming the form of a tall woman. However, what struck him first was the sweet aroma enveloping her, a pink cloud of fragrance reminiscent of vanilla and cotton candy. It reminded him of days in Soul Society when he and Hiyori would lie together in the grass, gazing at the sky and trying to discern shapes in the clouds. It reminded him of Hiyori's body nestled in his arms just a few hours ago.

The woman materialized fully before him, her skin porcelain-like in its pallor, a striking contrast to her crimson attire. She wore a figure-hugging red dress that accentuated her slender yet curvaceous form. The dress exuded elegance, adorned with intricate lace patterns and featuring a low-cut neckline that offered a glimpse of her ample cleavage. Her eyes should have been a mesmerizing shade of gold as it was her hair, but they appeared to reflect the world around them in a reversed manner. Gazing into her eyes felt akin to peering through a kaleidoscope, where everything took on a beautiful distortion and inversion.

With each step, the zanpakutō took, she moved gracefully, yet her movements created a visual illusion, as if time and space were reversing and rearranging themselves in their wake.

Her expression remained neutral, but her voice conveyed a sense of melody and joy as she spoke, "chan-Jishin, this is quite unexpected."

"Yo! Nade," he greeted her cheerfully.

"Shadows are returning, chan-Jishin. Why is that? Should I be concerned about our visitor returning to plunge everything into darkness once more?" she inquired.

He shook his blonde locks as he moved his head, his expression turning serious. "Nah, he's under control. Shadows come in a variety of forms, it may seem."

"Ah," the woman frowned. "Riyohi, you mean."

"Aizen," he corrected her.

The zanpakutō continued to walk around him, making it difficult to discern anything. In her wake, everything tended to get upturned, and even though reverse was Hirako Shinji's specialty, Sakanade sometimes made his reverse techniques challenging. "You may be seeing things backward again, chan-Jishin."

"That was a great joke. I'm glad to see your sense of humor is improving with age," Shinji replied with a playful smile.

Sakanade, with her ever-present air of enigma, continued her dance around Shinji, her movements still creating subtle distortions in space and time. She spoke again, her voice carrying a hint of seriousness beneath the playful facade. "But in all seriousness, chan-Jishin, shadows are shadows. They may take different forms, but their essence remains. You should keep an eye on those shadows that linger closer to home."

Shinji nodded, understanding the implication behind her words. He knew that Hiyori's feelings and their unresolved issues had cast a shadow over their relationship for a long time. It was a shadow he couldn't ignore forever, but for now, he needed to focus on the battle looming ahead.

"I'll keep that in mind, Nade," he said, his voice more somber now. "But right now, I need her to focus on the battle tomorrow. We can't afford any distractions."

Sakanade paused in her graceful dance, her eyes locking onto Shinji's with an intensity that seemed to pierce through his very soul. "Very well, chan-Jishin. But remember, shadows have a way of creeping back when you least expect them." With that cryptic warning, she began to dissipate, her form dissolving into a cloud of pink vanilla-scented mist that hung in the air for a moment before dispersing into nothingness.

Shinji watched the fading mist, his thoughts a tumultuous sea of emotions and concerns. He couldn't deny the truth in Sakanade's words, and he knew that the battle ahead was fraught with danger. But for now, he had a duty as a leader, and he needed to ensure that his comrades were prepared for the coming storm, even if it meant putting aside his own personal feelings for the time being.

However, Shinji's life rarely unfolded as planned, and an unexpected soft knock on his door interrupted his thoughts and brought his mind back to his room. He reacted quickly, releasing his reiatsu and gently touching the ground to place Sakanade in its katana form, leaning it against the wall. As he approached the door and opened it, his mind was preoccupied, not considering which of the Vizards might require his attention at this late hour.

To his surprise, he found Hiyori standing before him. Her body faced him, but her gaze was averted to the side. It was unlike Hiyori to knock; she typically entered with a scream or used her powerful kicks to break down doors. The fact that she had knocked and appeared uncharacteristically quiet was a testament to her unsettled state of mind.

Driven by impulse, Shinji stepped aside, allowing her to enter without uttering a word. She walked in and took a seat on his bed, her silence hanging heavily in the room. The atmosphere was awkward and charged with unspoken tension. Shinji couldn't ignore the peculiarity of her visit, especially considering that she had never before chosen to come to him after running away.

The seconds ticked away, each moment stretching the tension between them, until Shinji couldn't bear the silence any longer. With genuine concern in his voice, he finally broke the ice. "Hiyori, what's going on? Why are you here?"

Hiyori remained seated, her gaze still averted. Her fingers fidgeted with the fabric of her sleeve as she struggled to find the words to explain her impulsive actions.

After what felt like an eternity, she finally spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. "I... I wanted to talk, Shinji." It was a simple admission, yet it carried a weight that hung in the air. She hesitated for a moment before continuing, "About what happened earlier."

Shinji's curiosity deepened as he listened, his concern for her growing. He took a step closer, his expression softening. "What happened earlier, Hiyori? You mean when you... when we kissed?" He couldn't help but recall the unexpected moment, his own uncertainty about her intentions lingering.

Hiyori's cheeks flushed with embarrassment as she nodded, still unable to meet his gaze. "Yeah, that." She swallowed hard, her pride warring with her desire for honesty. "I... I didn't mean to. It was stupid, okay? Forget it ever happened. I just don't want any awkward shit between us. Tomorrow is going to be a shitshow in itself, so... just," she made a dismissive gesture with her hand, as if trying to erase the memory from his mind.

His head was telling him to drop it, to take the easy way out and forget about the unexpected kiss. But his heart, that stubborn, aching heart of his, wouldn't let him. Confusion, surprise, and a glimmer of something deeper he couldn't quite put into words battled within him, and he spoke purely from the depths of his emotions. "Hiyori," he began gently, crouching in front of the bed to be on eye level with her, "I don't want to forget it. But I do want to understand it. Why did you kiss me?"

She finally turned to meet his eyes, her own searching for something elusive. "I... I don't know, okay?" Her voice wavered with uncertainty. "Maybe it was just some stupid impulse. Or maybe..." She trailed off, her gaze softening as she continued, "Maybe it was because I wanted to, Shinji. Because regardless of your stupid meaningless words, you could die, I could die, for fuck's sake, all of us, the entire plane of existence could be erased by him tomorrow, and I don't know if I want to have regrets, even if I get hurt because of that."

"Why would you get hurt, Hiyori?" His hand moved a strand of hair that was out of those diabolical pigtails he hated so much. He knew his questions made her uncomfortable, but there were things in her half-truths he needed to understand.

Hiyori was taken aback by his sudden contact, her heart racing despite the conversation. She looked away, trying to hide the doubt in her eyes. She was silent for a few moments before finally answering, her tone defensively. "Because of you. You're not the only one with feelings and I'm not stupid, Shinji. Of course, I know why YOU kissed me." She paused for a moment, letting her emphasis do the talking, for her it was clear that had been a pity kiss.

"It's fine, I am not a kid, I get it, okay?" she went on, her voice softening slightly. " You don't want to hurt me, and you don't have that type of feelings for me, it's been very clear I am not and I will never be one of your stupid first loves. I understand. But it doesn't matter now. Let's just drop the conversation. This never happened. See you tomorrow."

Her words pierced through his heart with a pain he hadn't expected, and he felt compelled to speak up, his own emotions rising within him. "Hiyori," he said firmly, placing his right hand on her knee and shifting his weight towards her, so she wouldn't move from her sitting position, taking a step closer so that their faces were mere inches apart, "first, don't say that. Don't ever think that your feelings don't matter because they do. And second, you haven't asked me, so you don't actually KNOW why I kissed you."

Their eyes locked, and the intensity of the moment hung heavy in the air. Shinji couldn't deny the truth any longer; there was something more between them, something that had remained hidden for far too long. There was no pushing it for another day—hell, there was no pushing it for another minute. His left hand gently cupped her cheek, his thumb brushing over her skin, his mouth hovering so close to hers.

"Ask me, Hiyori." He said breathless me.

She swallowed hard, unable to break the trance between them, "Why di-?"

"Because I wanted to," he whispered, his voice filled with a rare vulnerability. "And I... I can't just pretend this didn't happen. Maybe I've been a coward about it, but that kiss meant something to me too. I-I'm not sure what I'm feeling right now, but I do know that it's something strong and deep. I want you to stay here with me, Hiyori, because I don't think that I can bear the thought of you leaving right now."

Hiyori's gaze softened as she met his earnest eyes. Her hand came up to cover his, and she leaned into his touch. "Shinji..."

Before she could say more, he closed the remaining gap between them, pressing his lips to hers in a kiss that was both tentative and filled with a long-suppressed passion. It was a kiss that spoke of unspoken feelings, of shared history, and of the uncertain future that lay ahead.

He broke the kiss and held her close, his arms tight around her as if he feared that she might suddenly disappear. She returned the embrace, burying her face into the crook of his neck and easily moving her to embrace her in the bed. His gentle touch sent waves of warmth coursing through her body, and she felt herself relaxed even more as she looked into his eyes.

Shinji smiled softly as he brushed a strand of hair out of Hiyori's face before pressing another tender kiss against her lips. "Don't put words in my mouth, moron. " He said quietly, his voice filled with sincerity. "But… I'm sorry. I should have said something sooner."

"We all know you're a chicken, Baldy," Hiyori retorted with a smirk, her usual abrasive humor returning as a defense mechanism.

Shinji chuckled, his fingers tracing absentminded patterns on her back as he replied, "Well, I'm not the one with spiky pigtail horns, am I?"

He kissed her once again, and she kissed him back before he spoke softly, "There's a lot to say, Hiyori, but not enough time. It's late, and we have an early morning. Go to sleep."

Hiyori let out a soft sigh as Shinji's arms wrapped around her. She felt his warmth against her back like a calming embrace, and she reveled in it for a moment before she started to move away.

"Where are you going?" he asked, tightening his hold on her.

Hiyori looked back at him with a confused expression. "I thought you said I should go to sleep," she replied.

Shinji gave her an indulgent smile. "Here, close your eyes," he said, flicking her forehead lightly. "You silly idiot."

"Enjoy your stupid antics today, Baldy. Tomorrow, I'll kick your ass before I kick Aizen's." She couldn't help but chuckle at his teasing, and she did as he said for once in her life. As she settled against him, her body finally beginning to relax after the intense moments of their conversation, Shinji stroked her hair gently and began to hum softly into her ear.

Soon enough, her breathing evened out as sleep pulled at her tired mind, and Shinji continued to hum until she had drifted off completely in his arms.

He stayed there until morning light began to seep through the curtains and slowly shook himself awake from the deep sleep that had overcome him during his vigil over Hiyori's slumbering form. It was then that he realized what had happened between them; what he had been so afraid of admitting all this time—he was in love with Sarugaki Hiyori.


AN:

Time for some housekeeping regarding Sakanade and Shinji. After extensive research, I couldn't find any established references related to Sakanade's design, so I decided to get creative. I took inspiration from Shinji's mask and integrated elements of a desert and pharaoh theme into Sakanade's appearance. Additionally, I drew inspiration from Shinobu Oshino's character as a vampire, incorporating it into Sakanade's persona while keeping its unique reverse powers.

In Shinji's inner world, shadows play a significant role, akin to the way rain is featured in Ichigo's inner world. During the Hollowfication process, numerous panels and scenes emphasize shadows and moonlight, making them a fitting element for Shinji's inner world.