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Note: So thrilled Kael'thas is finally here! Weee! I think I always squeal like this when there's a delay before he appears in the story. I have a problem, you know.
And so what was the title of part one of this fanfic? I think… "Dude, Where's My Oatmeal?" about covers it.
PART TWO: The Devil Went Down to Silvermoon
"My name is Turaho and I'll take your bet, cause I'm the best there's ever been!"
…
Chapter 14: Chaos, Himself
Since watching Kael'thas burn another man alive was my first real experience with him, by the time we got to Silvermoon, I felt sick.
I usually travel well. I usually complain about zeppelins (for more reasons than their Goblin crews putting on annoying anti-Tauren dance numbers, with jazz hands), but for the most part, I've managed boats, speed-barges, wyverns, kodos, even a warhorse or two very well in my lifetime. But knowing that this terrifying man had already met me and we both knew it, that I was getting ready to question him, and then interrogate the people in what I supposed were his inner circle, those 'real' Bloodknights of Saturna's… And that all this was going to happen far, far away from home in Kalimdor where I had a network and solid connections with the authorities…
I'm supposed to be a seasoned investigator, but my nerves were getting to me by the time we got to Quel'thalas. My instinct, my body, wasn't having any of it. My hooves wanted to run. I just wanted to shut the whole mission down, right there, shout at Saturna that her husband was evil and get the hell out.
However, by this point, we had three more weeks to go before actual Winter's Veil. And Greatfather Winter was still missing. A lot of good little kids were not going to get their presents, then. Oh, and also, the old scam-you-for-the-holidays Dwarf might get what's coming to him.
Oh, how terrible. Can't have that.
What we really couldn't have, though, was Darnassus threatening to rip Silvermoon out of the Horde because of that old Dwarf. Only one man was able and, now, well-placed to prevent that.
"Turaho Runestalker," Saturna addressed me formally when our carriage rolled to a stop in front of what looked to me like the longest gangway, ever. Well, it was a red-carpeted bridge spanning the bottomless moat around the Sunspire (I was too afraid to ask how they'd managed that with magic), but the way the sparkling bridge up to the palace made me feel was that I was about to walk the plank off of a pirate ship into shark infested waters.
And I'd already seen the great white. He was a man-eater.
"…Turaho?"
"Hrmph."
Saturna saw how I was, how I'd tensed up my shoulders and had crossed my arms. Big Tauren me filled up almost one side of the small Hawkstrider-drawn carriage while she was dainty and leaned neatly against an armrest on her side.
She tried again, "We're friends, aren't we?"
I looked at her in a way that sharply communicated I wasn't her little idiot. Or, big idiot.
Her voice softened, "Well, we've befriended one another somehow along the journey here. Actually, I think it started way back in Mulgore, right?"
She did have a point. Our zeppelin, and then the ocean voyage, was filled with speculations about Greatfather Winter, the Night Elves, including whether 'the Alessandre' was actually dead. But I didn't let us dwell on that for very long. We also somehow kept sliding into the same comfortable rapport I have with my female cousins. Saturna and I ended up joking and carrying on, pulling little pranks on each other. By the time we landed in the Eastern Kingdoms, I was so sure Saturna was dying for a good tickling (I don't mean anything else by that, I swear) but I also knew I'd never get away with it. Her Bloodknights were judgement as always, but they mostly kept it to themselves, this time. I swear they spent the entire journey preening their perfect hairstyles like a buncha fussy songbirds.
Okay, so one confession about the tickling-when we disembarked from the ship at Sunsail Anchorage, I did try for it and Saturna laughed wild! It was cute. Uh, I mean that she hopped a mile and hissed at me to stop, though her eyes and her smile said a lot different. She never seems like a queen to me these days.
But I'd guessed right. Saturna longed to finally relax and laugh her head off with someone. I wondered if Kael'thas ever let her do that?
Look, it's fine. I'm fine. I'm just observing this because Saturna let slip at supper one night that her 'real Bloodknights' would like me. And that was in front of her current Bloodknights, too. Ouch. Guess by that point in our journey, Saturna had come to the same conclusion that I had about her own soldiers. Annoying, useless, wasting her time and bringing her down. Good girl! Another point for her, if you ask me.
A part of me wished we didn't have to go to Silvermoon by the end of it.
Remembering all of that enabled me to uncross my arms, at least. I sighed out my frustration. Behind us, walking in a long caravan, were my kodo that I'd packed with my gear—I refused to let anyone else carry it—then the other Bloodknights all on their Thalassian chargers and carts with the rest of our supplies. Some Farstriders on their birds had joined us at the city gate, and by the time we got to the palace, a full entourage of Silvermoon City guard with their giant phoenix-wing shields had surrounded us on the street. They were able to form a sort of wall to keep out passerby. It did look pretty slick.
Regular folk (what passed for regular people in Silvermoon, covered in swirls and gold and magic on their fine clothes) had started to gather. Oh, they could gawp as good as any Tauren or Orcs in a Kalimdor city, but they arranged themselves more neatly I guess, and relegated their worse comments to whispers.
I had noted that the Farstriders and the city guard and the Bloodknights seemed to be competing to escort our carriage. They didn't work so well in concert, did they? I'd tuck that little detail away for later.
At last I admitted to Saturna, "Yes. We're allies."
"Good. So as long as we stay that way-and I'm sure we will, because I want us to—then Kael'thas won't bite you."
"Bite me?"
She looked down to tug her gauntlets on tighter, and see that other elements of her plate uniform were tidy. Now, it was her turn to be nervous.
"I think I tamed him, when we fell in love-"
"Was burning up a man in a conflagration, on impulse, a tame version of Kael'thas?!"
"That was a Night Elf man, a member of the Alliance."
I rolled my eyes. I was getting tired of hearing that. It was starting to feel like an excuse. Had the Horde always used this excuse? Well, if we were doing it, then the Alliance would have to be doing it, too.
"I'm not as fluff-headed as I seem, at times. I know I have a tendency to come off that way. I started out as a courtier, a…" she shook her head and dropped her shoulders, "A silly girl in a big fluffy dress raised like a prized cow to go be married off to royalty." Then, she glanced up at me, "No offense."
"None taken, as Tauren aren't cows." I arched an eyebrow.
She moved on quickly, "I had to grow up while we were fighting in Outland, fast. But this was always my context." She touched fingertips to the narrow window ledge. The city outside was glossy, brilliantly colored. Inside the carriage we were caught in weird angular slashes of sunlight or shadow that kept making me squint. "Beauty, hope, expectations for the greatest of mortal achievements in magic, in industry, in… society. Me fawning over my husband, sometimes glossing over his worst flaws, it isn't ignorance, Turaho. I've not been charmed by him." Her softly glowing green eyes found me again, "It's the other way around. The way he sees it, I saved him. And I did, I brought him back to all of this. Now we have a future, he and I have a real life together. I can and I have handled Kael'thas many times before. While you work here in Quel'thalas, I will be the one to keep you safe. I didn't take you away from your homeland for anything less, Turaho."
"So… you're the mouse that got the thorn out of the lion's paw?"
She liked that comparison.
"Well, it did help that, at the time, he was… very thorny." Saturna managed to ruin it. Of course.
I'm sure that I cringed. It was a bad joke and a pun ontop of that.
But now that I'm writing this, I think I do understand that it's just her personality. Saturna isn't squeaky clean herself, and she can't pretend to be. But it looks good on her. Whether I would admit it then or not, it did make her fun.
She knocked on the padded carriage wall and they opened the door for us. We saw stewards in large blonde wigs, white pantaloons (I kid you not), and bright red and gold livery lean down to unfold a miniature sparkling stair for us. My mouth was hanging open. Saturna gaily stepped out into the bright day.
"Well? It's time to see the wizard. Come on, Toto…"
"Hey! I'm the Tin Man at best!" when I followed, the whole carriage rocked. The Blood Elves in the street gasped and clapped like I was some circus side-show.
"But Turaho, you're so fuzzy!"
They were cheering and screaming for their queen by then. It felt strange to me. Saturna could have only left Silvermoon under a cloud. The bad news about Darnassus' accusations would have been everywhere, and full details about the incident in Thunderbluff with Greatfather Winter should have surfaced while she was gone. That was what Darnassus had got hot about. Then again, Saturna had returned with a big Tauren Sunwalker trailing loyally at her heels. All the Bloodknights were there, and in one piece, with their perfect hair to boot… Perhaps to the people of Silvermoon, it looked like their queen had already solved the problem.
Unless the Silvermoon newspapers had been a lot more, let's say 'kinder' (when I really want to say oppressive and rife with censorship) than the Kalimdor news. Possibly, it was a mix of both…
The glamourous mate to King Kael'thas Sunstrider has returned! The glorious Bloodknight Matriarch has subdued the Night Elf menace! The one who saved the Sunstrider line has wrangled the Tauren! All that jazz!
Saturna waved to them here and there, but she wasn't excited about the crowd, really. She'd stayed grounded, focused. Warm. She and I had started a fun conversation, she genuinely liked me, so she was going to finish it. Only the ones in our elect group heard Saturna and me geekily arguing about who was who in that old Toto-Dorothy-Tin Man fairy tale. She wanted to be Glenda the Good Witch, after she had a chance to think about it. My female cousins always made that same claim. I swear, it was the big white dress.
Looking back, that was one of the nicer conversations I had with the Queen of Quel'thalas. Saturna, if you're reading—no matter what that arshole you married does to the Night Elves, to the Silvermoon City newspapers, to the world… don't ever, ever stop being cute.
By the way, definitely Dorothy.
Walking up the red-carpeted ramp to the Sunspire with all the Silvermoon City Guards saluting us all was something to see. It actually took a few minutes for my eyes to adjust to all the red and gold. It was kind of like living inside of a fiery orange gelatin mold.
The air even smelt sweet, a bit like… cupcakes? Some kind of sugar. Saturna corrected me and said that it was arcane magic.
"Okay, so… I totally don't understand how you guys didn't know you had a racial addiction. It's like… in the air."
"I know—"
"It's in the AIR, Saturna. And you didn't know that it might just maybe be a problem?"
I guess in my own way, I was flirting with her again. I figured out that the two of us had a sweet spot. If I made fun of her or the Blood Elves, or her Bloodknights, she usually let me get away with it. And she liked being called silly. I didn't understand why. I enjoyed it, though.
Saturna had what the Elves call 'breeding' and what I call bad manners—you know, coming into my hut as if she was choosing a wine, rather than an actual person to help her, making me carry her cloak that time, putting on those kinds of airs. But at least I could see the other side of it. Saturna had used all that to protect herself. Come into the room acting like the better person and you get treated that way. She was a queen, after all. She couldn't ask people to respect her. However, once you got past the whole vain Elf thing, she was actually pretty down to earth.
"So, when do we get rid of the pouf troop?"
"The who?" Then, we were inside of the castle, proper. The cheering crowds dulled. Reverent silence welled up around us as we passed royal tapestries and ancient statues. Only sharp salutes from the palace guards remained. Those echoed.
Saturna eyed me, she knew who I was talking about. She wasn't going to dignify my insult to her black-and-red, mean little ducklings with an answer.
I had an eerie feeling, then. The giggling girl-next-door who sneaked up on me while we were on the zeppelin, and poured corn kernals down the back of my shirt? Now that we were properly back, she was gone.
Another thing confused me, too. After we arrived at the Sunspire, I hoped the rest of our entourage would sort of peel off of us, and then I'd never see those Firewater-guzzling suck ups ever again. But they were still following us everywhere. Saturna kept hinting that there were other (and better) people she usually did everything with, true Bloodknights that she depended on. It's just that they couldn't travel with her to Thunderbluff at the drop of a hat.
I wondered how busy and important those higher-ranked Bloodknights must be if they couldn't answer a summons from their queen? How exactly did that work? If Chief Baine wants something, I pretty much have to do it and he's our chieftan, not a king-on-high. This whole mission being a case-in-point.
We arrived at the end of a very long corridor with a high, vaulted ceiling. Deeper inside the palace, everything stopped being so bright and red-gold. It became dark, luxurious, royal purple. Arcane crystal chandeliers dazzled as we passed beneath.
We entered the throne room. My heart leapt into my throat. Everyone else knew what to do. I just pretended I did. We arranged ourselves in a half-circle. My eyes were still adjusting to the not-light… It might be a day or two before I was really sure of myself in this new country. I almost tripped over Saturna because she had been walking beside me, but then suddenly cut in front. One of her Bloodknights put a hand on my sleeve to show me that I was meant to stay behind. The queen was going on ahead, alone. It was odder than anything. I felt seriously weird, wishing I could stay at her heels. I suppose dogs feel that way about their masters.
Wait…
Okay, I didn't just say that about myself. I was just enjoying the ah, security of being nearby someone who knew this end of the mission so well.
I tried to think of Mey. Poor Mey, who didn't have me. I already owed Mey a letter, didn't I? I could see Mey already, squinting an eye at me, digging a hoof into the ground. Pointing out to me that I had several opportunities at dozens of mailboxes already.
While Saturna greeted courtiers around us, I looked for Kael'thas and anyone else I might recognize.
In the old days, Kael'thas had a shifty monocled old advisor, named Sorn. His henchman in everything. Sorn would have made an excellent witness if he could have been turned against his sovereign and Kael'thas forced to undergo a Garrosh-style trial in Pandaria. Authorities never made it around to that, though. And Saturna said Sorn had got married to Lady Liadrin and retired, right? No Sorn.
Alright, try again. New Horde intel said there was an even more terrifying fellow, with old Burning Legion connections. I recognized Chief Advisor Faltheriel Darkweaver right away. He just oozed ill-will. Blonde, attractive I guess, but in a shady sort of way. He could have been a cultist. Mey would have liked him, known exactly how to dismantle him. Faltheriel was dressed elegantly in a three-piece suit with a cravat at his throat and a row of black silk buttons down his vest. But he was also looking dead at me like he'd been the one advised against opening fire right at me with a gruesome shadow bolt.
There were also several ministers I'd read about in the newspapers over my lifetime. Some more recently appointed than others. Head of the Farstriders, Halduron Brightwing, was standing next to Faltheriel. Rommath was on the other side. I looked, almost eagerly for Lor'themar Theron, who had held things together during Kael'thas' time in Outland. Many people liked him, he came off as reasonable and diplomatic without getting too political—very rare quality in a leader. He made people feel safe, polar opposite to the way Kael'thas liked to manage things with his newspapers full of lies and racing halfway across the world to handle would-be assassins with his bare, fiery hands. For a while, many in the Horde hoped Lor'themar would remain regent and just sort of take over while Kael'thas obviously enjoyed moonlighting in obscurity more than being at home.
But, as fate would have it, Kael'thas did not end up a looted corpse at the end of some dungeon. Lucky us.
I didn't recognize Kael'thas at first because he looked like the exact opposite of all those statues in the city, and what I remembered in the Golden Plain was a spectre, a cruel death mask on a fleeting, terrifying figure, blinking back into a painful magical spell.
He was not as large as a city building, for instance, but a pretty normal height. Not even tall. And Kael'thas wasn't wearing these seething red and gold robes with a lion's mane of blonde hair.
I mean, it had been blonde. That was obvious. But for some reason right now, Kael'thas hair was streaked with dark. Aside from some locks combed down to frame his jaw I think, the rest was braided together in an impossibly complex pattern that I got dizzy trying to keep track of. Much of that disappeared down behind his back. And he was wearing pale blue. In fact, Kael'thas was wearing pants. He had a wide sash around his waist, with a ceremonial sword I was sure he would never use as a Bloodmage. He had broad shoulders and very regal facial features. Like he'd been carved from marble. So, statuesque in a way.
His whole court was wearing shades of blue in that very empurpled room, surrounded by low braziers on all sides. Funny, the hookahs on small tables, here and there, looked natural, though they should have been out of place in such a regal setting. But Kael'thas, now that I recognized him, stood almost in relief, like the rest were pen-and-paper drawings of people. It was in his authoritative stance, and the compelling color he had chosen to wear while everyone else matched the curtains. (Or is it true that royals dictate to the whole court what they should wear? If so, then he was worse than vain.)
Annoying. But that is what I saw. Honestly, it was also impressive. They all looked very sophisticated, like they knew Kael'thas was definitely in charge and together, they all meant business.
My ears perked up. No, my instinct told me that this was theatre. Kael'thas was about to play some scene. For who? I was the only one new to the game. I felt my fist tightening.
Now was the time for Silvermoon's queen to meet her husband again. I watched Saturna slow down when she was close enough to really see her husband.
We were announced by the head steward, but after that, everything was strikingly quiet. Especially between husband and wife. Only her footfalls. Only his gaze, looking over her mattered now. So icy.
But Saturna claimed she had tamed the lion?
Looks like he'd got out of his cage.
Kael'thas had one hand behind his back. The other he offered to her now, offering to broach the final distance between them. Remember now, this man is in an astonishing amount of trouble with his wife.
Instead of going any further, Saturna stopped. She clearly didn't like being ordered. Kael'thas had his hand out as if she belonged to him. He wanted her at his side and he acted if she knew better than to keep him waiting.
Worse, "You've done well." He said.
As if it was his mission, his decision, not hers. As if going to Thunderbluff was not something she controlled at all, and he was going to decide whether or not they were finished with what he clearly regarded was her little game.
I put my hand on my mace. I made it look like an easy gesture, like I was just resting it.
Saturna looked back at me, rather than greet her husband at long last. She didn't have to say, 'Did you just hear him speak to me like that?' I nodded once, that I sure as hell hadn't missed it.
Saturna's smile for Kael'thas was an angry one, "May I present Turaho Runestalker. He will be investigating you." That echoed. Kael'thas could have flinched. I wasn't sure. Maybe he hid it well.
I made my bow fast. I had to, I almost laughed really hard at Kael'thas, then.
Kael'thas let his hand drop. He used a thumb to crack each of his knuckles.
Saturna turned and looked around the entire court, making eye contact with several people. I noted who, hoped I'd remember each of the faces.
"Sunwalker Turaho has come all the way from Kalimdor, in good faith, to interview the ones who have been unjustly accused. And he may need other support from us while he is here. What he requires will be up to him."
She put it very well, that I was about to be the boss of that lot. Kael'thas hated it, I could feel him seething from where I was.
However, whether unjust accusations had been made, that was for me to decide. Though I wasn't going to mince words with Saturna about that important detail now. Again.
"He can't represent the entire Horde, Saturna." Now that Kael'thas had found a way to complain, others felt entitled to do the same. Conversation raced around the room.
"He may as well be Warchief Sylvanas, standing right in front of us. Because if we fail here, it will go directly to her."
Now that shut up a lot of people.
Kael'thas gave her this incredulous look all of a sudden, 'Uh, honey—what have you DONE this time? You're supposed to be on my side!'
She put a hand on her hip. Of course they couldn't out and say it but she was practiced in giving the same sort of looks back at him, 'Nobody's that hot, Kael'thas, that they get to ruin my career!'
We all watched them face off, without saying anything. It was starting to be fun.
'Saturna! Get over here!'
'NO! You come and stand with me, Kael'thas. And why aren't you saying hello to Turaho?'
'Do I look like I got up, had my hair done for hours, put on this sexy suit, only for you to show me up like this? And in my own castle?!'
'Oh go jump off a phoenix!'
'That's rich, coming from the person who couldn't wait to jump ON my phoenix, first chance she got!'
I swear, I almost heard that as if they had actually said it with their mouths, not just their eyes in this intense face-off. It felt like one of them was going to yell at the other, any moment now.
And I heard Al's voice in my mind again, telling me that the two of them weren't right. That they were a feuding couple. He was so right about them, it almost hurt.
So, the hair, the suit, his rude 'tude, this was how Kael'thas intended to make up for going to Thunderbluff and not trusting her at all? Good fecking luck.
Should I intervene before things escalated and they made it impossible for me to do my job?
And I wondered what Saturna would do or say to Kael'thas once they were finally alone. I was a big, tough Tauren and I was intimidated from all the way over where I was standing. Saturna had certainly already yelled at Kael'thas, back at Bloodhoof Village. I wondered if she'd slapped Kael'thas as well. It must have been a very bad fight. I didn't take Saturna to be the dramatic sort to fly into a tantrum. If she did knock him down a notch, then Kael'thas probably managed to deserve it. He probably made a bad comment about her… virtue. We'll put it that way. That's usually the basic line not to cross with a lot of women. Sorry, I meander and think about the little things a lot. It usually keeps me prepared for the next bad thing that's about to happen…
Don't laugh, but… I had this feeling that Saturna wanted a big hug. A hug from her husband, I mean. It was um… why she had probably been teasing me so much. I did realize that after a while, that it wasn't actually about me. Kael'thas, however, expected Saturna to jump all over him. She wanted to greet as equals, he wanted to re-assert his dominance like their marriage was a damn wolfpack. I did everything but smack my forehead, and a few other fellow males beside me sort of cringed like they wanted to do the same on his behalf.
How long had they been married again? How many children had they raised together?
Kael'thas stood back, lifted his chin like he was the only adult in their relationship, and like it was a great honor for her to be back in his mighty presence.
It wasn't exactly an apology.
"I…" Saturna winced and looked Kael'thas over again. Well, they were married, she was a grown woman after all and he didn't exactly look like a puddle of mush. And Kael'thas knew it, too. I think he finally smiled back. But then Saturna took an irritated breath, and she was wiley, "I command all of you to cooperate with the Tauren while he is in our lands. Do this Quel'thalas and for your queen, in the spirit of good-will with our allies."
And then the hammer came down. She went to Kael'thas, to look up at him and make sure that he got the message. That was all. She didn't touch him.
The she marched past Kael'thas in his fine outfit and left him standing. He stubbornly refused to watch her go.
All the males in the throne room let out a breath. Uh… so it could have been worse?
I just… stared. It was so awful for him. I was afraid to look out of place, moreso than a Tauren man could in the Sunspire. Some Blood Elves were grinning, like Kael'thas was fun entertainment whenever he screwed up. But no one uttered a word against him.
Kael'thas finally addressed me, "Welcome to Silvermoon."
His voice, full-on, gave me shivers. Somewhere in my brain I had decided that Kael'thas was a vampire and he was going to eat me. I needed to get rid of all that, fast, or it'd show. Really, I couldn't keep track of all the headgames going on here... I kept wondering that I'd step into a trap. I attempted to read him, the room, everything. Too much information. I needed to calm down, but that felt like another weakness...
"King Kael'thas." I bowed again. Guess that was a safe thing to keep doing.
But Kael'thas was waiting impatiently for me to finish all that. I came over to him.
He said, loud enough for everyone, "It's good to have you here."
Wow, he was a liar. I didn't mean to be on right then, in my investigator mode, reading him. But I picked it up fast.
He lowered his voice, "But can I get very honest with you, very fast?"
Ironic.
"… I would like to get the fel out of here and have a drink. How about you?"
Now, that was the truth. Hrm. Refreshing.
Of course, I agreed. Now, don't get any ideas. I think I just put my dread and dislike for Kael'thas behind my love of good alcohol.
I couldn't resist, "My cousin says the night life here is incredible. But everyone drinks champagne?"
A drink. Simple enough, I figured at the time. But Kael'thas grinned like a lynx, only too happy for me to fall for it.
