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Note: Because you also tuned in for the scandalous, super awkward Kael'thas moments™ too, right? Also A Bad Outland Tattoo, Part II is still coming, don't worry.
Are they worse than the Kardashians? Discuss.
Chapter 16: Keeping Up With the Sunstriders
Remember that I said I like to trust my gut and make things up as I go along? I'd been kicking around the Illidan thing in the back of my mind, since I first got this assignment. I knew that Kael'thas and Illidan were in cahoots back in Outland, at least for a while before one of them turned… Heh, I bet when you ask each of them who turned, they say the other one. So I won't mince the details… But I kept the ole' Illidan card in my back pocket sort of as a last resort. Something I could fall back on and use to yank the Blood Elves around, absolutely all of them, since too many world leaders in the know, Horde and Alliance, behave as if it's too true. They dance around Kael'thas and Illidan like there's still some dangerous drama going on today.
I just didn't think I'd have to get the ace out of my sleeve so fast.
You know, in the end… it was another way for Kael'thas to be good at what he does, though I hate admitting it. I wasn't about to get ahead because of the Illidan thing, I was actually falling behind because of it. I was down an option. Back in his office, Kael'thas had wanted to pressure me, to squeeze me and see what happened. Well, yes, now I was… let's say, emptier for it. If Illidan did not give me any good leads, and then I knew I couldn't use the Sylvanas stick to poke Kael'thas anymore… Hrmph. Everything now depended on Illidan.
While I was sitting in my room, dreading all of this, a footman came and delivered the following note.
The King and Queen of Quel'thalas cordially invite you to supper.
9 o'clock
(This means white tie is required.)
It was in Saturna's handwriting. Well, I held the man up and jotted something down on the other side of the card.
Sorry, getting a burger!
The footman scowled at me for putting him in this position.
"Oh, my bad, I almost forgot…" I couldn't help giving him a little glimmer of false hope, "Know any good burger places around here?"
'Saltheril's Haven has really gone downhill,' everyone kept saying as I progressed beyond the city and through the country side, asking for directions. Fools. All those warnings only meant I was going to exactly the right spot for greasy non-Elf food.
No, I did not have time to go and get a hamburger when I was supposed to be searching for a missing person. But somewhere in me, I think I also felt it might be a final supper—my last good meal before I met Illidan Stormrage and he gutted me on sight for being such a presumptuous prick as to even go and see him about a holiday Dwarf in a red suit.
Mey keeps telling me that I can get too negative at times. You think so?
I sat alone at my table, people watching and taking a mild interest in what passed for alcohol at Saltheril's. Suntouched Special Reserve was supposed to be the best. This other strange concoction they served me was something near to flat champagne. To his credit, Saltheril himself did wander by at one point that evening, and he tried to offer-better-service-slash-apologize for the place.
Saltheril griped, "It's because no one wants to run out and get the good stuff anymore."
"You don't say."
"I used to offer a good amount of silver… Springpaw Appetizers, and we even had a fireworks show. All invitation-only, too." His voice was gravelly, as if what he'd really been doing all this time was drinking, chain-smoking and giving up a lot…
I shuddered, after having another sip of this strange, orange drink in the graying glass flute. "You don't… say."
"It's like the kids these days hate exercise! No one ever finishes the errand, or if they do, they don't walk back here. They must walk off with the good stuff. I think they all like to abandon me, no matter how nice we are at the start. Kids today! No one wants to do a messenger quest anymore…" Saltheril wandered off finally and I was grateful for it.
Oh, the burger? Juicy! I did wonder what they were making them out of, though, if Saltheriel couldn't get people to trek too far from the local environs for his supplies. I had a decent view of the coast while I chewed and tried not to think too much. Never do that. That young adventurers were slaughtering screaming, gurgling murlocs and dragging them off the beach in patty-sized chunks clued me in a beat late, and by then, my so-called burger was already mostly in my stomach.
While I was all alone and away from Kael'thas and his cronies, it did occur to me that it was the perfect time for very useful spywork.
I poured a marble from the bag out into my hand. Innocent little glossy thing. But then, I rubbed it around between both of my palms until it was larger, the size of a blacknut. You ever seen one of those? Green skin on the outside, fits easily in your palm. I set it on the table then cupped it in my hand, so no one else could really see it. Time to review just exactly how Kael'thas had managed to put his Elf wife on the shelf, and also how that somehow became a weird white-tie supper invitation.
Oh, and maybe it'd also help me find Greatfather Winter, yadda yadda.
But I think we both know at this point that I mainly enjoy being nosey…
Saturna had all her armor on, even in their bedroom. Ouch.
"Kael'thas, I don't understand. How could your interview with Turaho 'not go well'? You said you had an appointment with him, you made sure my father was there. Everything legal, above board… You did stay calm, didn't you?"
There was an official-looking missive on the round, marble table nearby. Some scroll that Kael'thas kept eyeing, for her to hurry up and read. But Saturna had decided to pace back and forth instead. Their bedroom was what my cousin Brunho would call 'stupid-posh,' done in silver and deep, velvety navy blue. And if that sounds too High Elven for you, the King and Queen of Quel'thalas made up for all those moonwell hues with a blood-red chandelier, way high up. When those lights were on, the place would have had a completely other character, suddenly in deep luxurious purples, commanding reds… Right now, though, light coming through the mostly shuttered curtains made things look almost crystalline. And Kael'thas had seated himself at the edge of the bed, backlit just so and looking innocent in one of those soft white sunbeams. Like a version of himself that never went to Outland to murder and pillage thousands…
"Yes, Saturna. I stayed calm."
Horse pockey.
"Well? You showed up on time for your appointment, you gave Turaho everything he wanted. You were polite and said good morning, offered him water?"
"I'm sure I did offer."
Oh my gods what a liar Kael'thas is. I hardly had a hello!
"So what changed? What made Turaho storm out like that and then start interrogating Daphne and Pyorin? And about back issues of Goblin Gentleman's Magazine? What the-"
"But darling, the security missive—"
"I don't care about the Ghostlands right now. Not at this specific… juncture." She put hands on her hips. Saturna's instinct was to yell at him, I could tell. But she was trying, hard, to keep it civil. All this time, she'd been prowling about, trying to get the evidence first. These two would have done this dance about a million times over the years. Kael'thas was determined to squeeze out of it this time.
"Shoot—Saturna, I have another meeting. Sorry, darling. I almost forgot."
"Sit." She sneered, "…Down."
Kael'thas carefully sat back on the bed.
"Pyorin also tells me that we have a special guest coming over for the holiday."
"Well, not exactly –on- Winter's Veil. I know that's usually a family evening, and why would she wouldn't want to waste her time here when she could be over in Undercity, hanging holiday… skulls of her enemies or something, with um… Nathanos, I suppose."
Rapid fire, finger raised,"Why is Warchief Sylvanas Windrunner coming over for Winter's Veil, Kael'thas?"
"She just is."
"Excuse me? I swear to the Light! If you pull that 'I'm your king obey me' crap right now, I will deck you! And if you don't think I can still do it, you've got another thing coming Kael'thas Sunstrider, because I never was ashamed of being accused of regicide before."
Damn…
"That. Is getting old, Saturna."
"How old? By whose standards? We're bound to be stuck together for thousands of years, that stuff was like yesterday in comparison, right? And you know what really makes me tired? Every single time we have an issue, it comes down to this. Us, in here, trying really hard not to have a shouting match in front of the whole court, because of something reckless and world-ending that you tried to do!"
"Lower your voice."
"Oh? Do I have to speak sweetly to you now Kael'thas because you're trying to control what I say, or because you're trying to control what that Tauren investigator can hear, through our bedroom walls? And that's another thing I never agreed to. Why is Turaho even over there?"
I really had the same question.
Kael'thas raised his hands, for her to wait, "It's…" then he couldn't explain, "A strategy."
"A strategy? What kind of a strategy? A Tauren investigator, practically in our bedroom walls. Please. Explain this to me."
She sat in a chair at the table, across from him. The scrolling silver chair arms done in leaves and the tiniest, finely carved berries mismatched with their mood, badly.
"Saturna, after what he did to us that night… I might have been somewhat angry—"
"Ah! I see, my husband, the first Bloodmage, the bane of Outland, threatening Anveena herself, and now, almost moonlighting as a Fel Elf—he acted out of anger, again!"
"Saturna."
She had a short, calming breath. Looked away.
Kael'thas took his chance to roll his eyes at her. "What I mean is this. I didn't have to think very much about it or discuss it with you because these things are like instinct to me. When dealing with enemies, on this level, I don't have to. Keep him close. Keep him on his toes. Don't let him think things through all the way, keep him running, squeeze all his best tricks out of him…"
Oh by Muu'sha above, I so called that.
"…Give me enough time and I can herd him right out of here. I promise you, Turaho will be gone, and this Greatfather Winter crisis will be legally resolved, signed, sealed and tied up with a bow just the way you want it," Saturna was shaking her head, "…by New Years' if you'll just let me do my work!"
She seethed, bent over her knees and covered her face. "Oh, Kael'thas…"
"And what's going on with you, anyway? You keep taking his side, Saturna. You're taking his side against me."
"I am not doing that."
"I warned you about this very thing in Mulgore. You got cozy with him, wrapped up in…" he didn't dare accuse her again, so Kael'thas sat up straight and corrected his tone, "What you were doing. That man knew a Night Elf rogue was out there,one of the worst ones in the book! He didn't tell you right away. Even after you warned him Alessandre might be involved, he still didn't come to you with it. I had to flush the Triumvir Rogue of Darnassus out myself to finally make you see."
Even weirder, when Kael'thas made good sense and they started to seem like a normal couple, not a pair of crazies.
Saturna sat there, elbow on her knee. Before long, she pouted. But it was also something she'd trained herself out of doing, looking so sweet. So easy to go to, hug, and be with.
Kael'thas still was not brave enough to go to her. Even after all their trials together, he found his own reasons to be so shy around his wife as if it was their first date. So afraid to finally touch her, have her.
Saturna endured her vulnerable moment alone. After a time, she sat up in the chair, looking more queen-like.
Kael'thas' voice now sounded like he was bleeding out, "I might have… told Turaho that we were meeting. I sort of lied. I ordered him to come, actually. He never asked to see me, so I guess I did try to control things. I think that put him off. And then he and I argued, badly. Your father was no help, bringing up Sylvanas and Jaina—"
"Oh, and Goblin Gentleman's Magazine? You're going to blame that on my father too?"
"I don't know where GGM came up! I don't think I said anything about that, Saturna. But Turaho did say he's not done with me yet, either. And tonight, he…" Kael'thas let that last part trail off.
No one seemed to want to talk to Saturna about Illidan. I wondered if I should take my chance and say something? But Kael'thas would never follow through with that meeting though, if I put him in jeopardy with his wife. It also reminded me of what Alessandre once said, poor guy. Illidan was rumored to be afraid of Saturna. It was hard to imagine, let alone believe. But, that no one in their orbit wanted to openly discuss it… This was a family secret, something terrible that would hurt everyone if it came up again. That was the feeling that I got. And so, I found myself starting to believe the unbelievable.
Saturna only nodded at her husband Kael'thas. But she was just too sick of it to argue with him anymore.
He tried another tack, "I'm… I feel so bad, about forcing the pace of this. You're right, I don't always include you—"
"Where's this missive?" she was icy, now. Saturna reached back casually, then undid the scroll.
"Saturna."
She paused reading the thing. "Well, you want to get rid of me. Isn't that what this is? Tempest or Sunthraze could have clearly handled it but you want to make it my business. I might as well go, and give you the space away from me that you crave."
"Come kiss me, Saturna."
I was on tenderhooks, for him, this time. He just… kept missing it by a little. You don't do that—you go and you kiss her, yourself. Comfort her, don't order her. There's courage and then there's commanding people-Kael'thas, come on!
Saturna looked at Kael'thas, then dabbed at her eyes. But she had to stop, she had her metal gauntlets on. If it were me, I would have asked Saturna to take off her armor to get more comfortable. See? Kael'thas just sat there, aching, but refusing to try again.
The gauntlets finally broke Saturna out of it. She was dressed for work. No time for tears, she had work to do.
"…Anything else, Kael'thas?"
Kael'thas stood also. If she could go back to being the queen, he could play king just as frostily. "Yes. We need a distraction for tonight." He didn't say for whom, I noted. Oh, well it was probably for me. I keep forgetting I'm the bad guy.
Saturna thought this over, "I'm sure Lady Daphne could pull together a state dinner, something like that. Would it be more convincing if I sign the invitation myself?" Kael'thas stepped close to Saturna, but he was going for the table. I watched Saturna's eyes as he did that, watching his body, feeling his warmth come in so close, though his motives were so far away.
Kael'thas bent down and opened a drawer. He placed paper and a pen on the table for her. Then he lightly slid it closed again, politely positioned the chair for his lady to sit,"Thank you, Saturna. Probably best to keep it simple. Nothing suspicious."
Out of habit, and it was a startingly good one on him, Kael'thas helped push Saturna's chair in at the small table. Light, swift, gentile movement of his hand. Kael'thas was most charming when he wasn't trying anything in particular, I'll give him that.
Saturna warmed up right away, it worked better than magic. She was fully engaged now as she sat and wrote, getting creative,"Kael'thas, why don't we invite absolutely everyone Turaho wants to interview? All at once. Whether he wants it or not, that'll tie him up for ages. He'll either use his time wisely, or we'll force him to waste it."
Damn them.
"Whatever you like." He loomed, darkly, geekily-you know, in only the kind of way Kael'thas Sunstrider could, while Saturna finished her note for me. She then looked for more paper. Kael'thas was right there, his hand coming up from the drawer with a larger pad of paper.
He said, "Guest list."
"Thank you, Kael." she whispered.
Saturna looked up at him standing so close. Being so helpful. And enjoying all those natural, manly vibes Kael'thas has got by breeding, even if he doesn't always know how to make use of them.
"You okay, Saturna?"
No, obviously not. It's because she wants you, even though she's angry, but you still don't know how to talk to girls, apparently, not even at a thousand and more years old, Kael'thas.
"Just… trying to think what other names to jot down, Kael'thas. That's all." But that involved looking down at the page, where the writing tends to happen. She was lost in his eyes.
"Alright."
"You're using new soap or something. New cologne, maybe?" she tried, and I could see her side of it, too. She shouldn't have to do all the seducing herself.
"I guess."He sounded sullen.
Saturna cleared her throat and went back to writing. I watched Kael'thas keep his arms crossed, hands hidden up in his long red sleeves forever, dying to touch his own woman.
Those two. I could strangle those two. I couldn't tell what my frustration was about, whether I wanted them to just fall into to bed together already, or simply fall out finally, divorce and leave it. All this waiting… It was worse than watching 'The Goblins and the Beautiful' on the scrying orb at The Fitz on soap opera nights. Those were the slowest, saddest nights of all in that bar.
Saturna looked up at Kael'thas again, "…Good? I could go as deep as Liadrin and Sorn, too." Kael'thas startled, just a hair, the way a man does when he's been caught staring. "Kael'thas? Or is that too close to home?"
"Home. We had a home, once."
Saturna wondered what he was talking about. I got it immediately. Poor guy. Yes, I really had it now. It wasn't just the physical part. He wanted his Saturna back. He wanted things to go back to the way they were before the jolly folly holiday Dwarf got flung in the mix. And the way Saturna played with me on the journey over, like we were long lost friends, it was really clear that she also missed having her best friend, her beau, her lover. Kael'thas. But their current situation wouldn't allow it. Maybe the trust was gone.
Funny as shit if that Dwarf ain't real. It's a holiday special begging for Greatfather Winter to wave his crooked, candy-cane magic wand over and fix. Oh well, sucks to be them! I'll happily send both husband and wife to jail together. Cause that's another way to fix it in my book.
I'm mean.
"Nevermind. Probably better not to throw my entire Outland career at him, Saturna, so let's leave off my old advisor and the once Bloodknight Matriarch who investigated me back then. It won't work like a chew toy with that one. Turaho would get down into the bloody marrow of the old bones. I'd be on trial for a few more things before he finished."
Kael'thas placed a hand on Saturna's back, felt her shoulder.
But Saturna finished writing the last line. "Alright, done. Let's get this to Daphne."
"No problem."And he let his hand slip down around her waist when she got to her feet.
"Not you, the footman. He should take it. I'll call him now."Saturna smiled awkwardly, like when you almost walk into someone in the middle of the street because you're not paying attention. Kael'thas did try to kiss her anyway, but Saturna's head was turned.
No play for Mister Bloodmage.
Saturna pulled the gilded rope by the door. Some silent, elegant way of calling staff. A bell rang somewhere out in an anterior hallway, probably. I couldn't hear it.
"See? It's nice when we can collaborate, Kael'thas. We make such lovely evil plans together, don't we?" she drifted near to him, but held off.
Kael'thas sort of leaned himself on the bedpost (it was a fancy canopy bed, of course it would be) and crossed his arms again. This time, he was attempting to look sly. He wasn't all that bad at it. His robes were nice, as always. Fitted round the arms and strong shoulders. The king would have a great tailor. Red and gold, that works too. Never a bad idea for your whole kingdom to match your favorite outfit. Lots of that blonde hair, women go for the long locks, I would know, I'm covered in it. And Kael's brunette underlights did have a mysterious quality. Alright, Kael, I can see it, do your thing. In that moment, he could have passed for one of those ladykillers on 'The Goblins and the Beautiful' for sure.
It did work on her. I admit to feeling jealous of Kael'thas for solid reasons. The man's got it whether us other men like it or not. Saturna was pretty distracted by the time the footman came in the door, gave his curt bow, waited for her instruction.
"Oh-Yes. Jaeden, please deliver this to Lady Daphne…" She paused mid-sentence. The footman bowed again, took the letter Saturna handed off. Good ole' Footman Jaeden then waited to be dismissed. If it was so obvious to me, then it was more obvious to Jaeden. Like the courtiers in the throne room before, the footman had this look, like the Sunstrider royals were good entertainment. It wasn't so unkind this time around, but their staff were clearly eager for secret, goofy moments just like these.
Kael'thas was born to palace life, he would have been more used to misbehaving in front of servants, "Well? Anything else you want, Saturna?" And trust me, that Kael'thas was not talking about Jaeden. Not using that tone of voice.
Saturna looked Kael'thas over, realized that her introverted husband was, in fact, soliciting her. And, in front of someone else. And Kael'thas was succeeding. Hey, it was at the eleventh hour, but he rallied and made it.
"I… we have a dinner tonight."
"Yeah? Maybe after the dinner—Thank you, Jaeden." Kael'thas made quick work of that once he scented her out, didn't he!
The footman left and carefully closed the door. It took him too long, in my opinion. He was probably still listening.
"…I don't know. It'd be nice?" Saturna was part coy, part afraid. That told me something really had gone wrong between them. Like when your girlfriend knows you too well, that you're up to something and she doesn't want to reward that kind of behavior? That was the tug in Saturna's voice. If but for one thing Kael'thas had done—and it was my job to find out what it was—she'd willingly go to him.
They stayed that way for a while.
Kael'thas pretended to yawn and stretch, like it wasn't an amazing idea that any guy would want, "Right now is good too."
"Ah, but you sent me away." Saturna got the scroll off the table, rolled it up and pointed it lightly in his direction. "I'd better follow your royal orders. After, if I'm not too exhausted by all this running around you make me do, my king… And tonight, we can't have any more freakish drama because you lose your temper or decide to do the maniacal villain thing for no reason, right?" She edged toward the door, he came with. "So of course, you'll have to um, behave. All day long and all night, through dinner, too. Are you that good?"
"Very. I will sit up and beg for you."
Saturna blushed immediately and could not stop smiling, "I'm leaving. Remember, we all need you to play nice, Kael'thas. The whole Nexus, the whole kingdom. No more nasty schemes." But she was very proud and pleased for him in that moment,"Silly."
He grinned, played at closing in. She winked and went out.
It would have been a good time to turn the miniature scrying orb off. I hadn't learned anything useful, really, just that Kael'thas and Saturna were going to uh, 'ride his phoenix' soon, or whatever, and I actually didn't need to know that. At all. But I did get to see Kael'thas prowl blissfully about the bedroom alone, like he felt like the big man in charge, only for him to stop, pull at his hair, then cuss himself about the appointment he'd already made with Illidan that same night. The meeting that I had arranged.
Kael'thas already had a hot date with me and Illidan, hot as hell. And Kael'thas couldn't skip out of it, either, because I was staying right next door.
His wife was about to be very disappointed in him, again. I was already amused, thinking up the various excuses Kael'thas would try to slide past her. Kael'thas suddenly having a headache after all that winding Saturna up earlier was going to be too obvious. Saturna would hate him for it, another horrible scheme of his. Well, unless he told her the truth. But, if there really was a terrible situation with Saturna and Illidan (beyond her attempting to demon-slay Illidan I mean), then maybe Kael'thas actually could not tell Saturna the truth because that might have been far, far worse for his love life.
"Gods-Damn you, Turaho!"
Muahaha…
I rubbed the ball around counter-clockwise in my palm, laughing to myself. Nice to be able to watch things that happened before. If I ever needed to re-watch it again, that was possible too. Excellent for recording evidence as well. Good ole' Bonnie. When the glass ball was small enough to put back in my pocket, I grinned.
But that only lasted until I rememberd that I was still completely stuck on this missing Dwarf case. And, still stuck at Saltheril's Haven. Ugh. Then, I had a dinner to try and avoid. What else was I going to do to further my case, though? Could I really afford to stay away from a setup with all the suspects in one convenient room, back at the palace? It was a trap and I knew it, but I had to go. With every passing hour, this kingdom was getting less and less fun.
Then I bubbled up, "Where is the hot and spicy, exciting Quel'thalas that cousin Brunho raved about?!"
People heard me and moved off, eventhough I was already far away from them, seated in my corner of the courtyard outside. Next, from my blindspot, I suppose-a young woman, not quite twenty, suddenly slipped into the seat across from mine. That was somehow, familiar, the way she did it. I couldn't put my finger on why.
She smirked, "You actually like this place?"
I wondered if she was a mind-reader as well.
The Blood Elf woman with white gold hair slipped a cigarette from a beautiful case then offered me one. I wondered if Kael'thas used cheap cigarette cases? I was surprised that everyone had his version. Maybe it was also his way of hiding his habit from Saturna, by using supplies he could easily ask a servant to fetch. Also annoying that flashy, expensive-looking cigarette cases are run-of-the-mill in the land of the Elves.
"I don't smoke. Yet." I grumbled. Whatever she wanted, I couldn't oblige. She was making me feel old and slow. And, the murloc burger was playing up. And, of course, I was engaged. Can't forget about that.
Good ole' engaged.
"Saltheril's is a dive bar, you're supposed to enjoy disliking it. It's not a haven now, it's ironic… which makes it cool. Right? But you look seriously mad. If you're so mad, then why don't you just leave?"
"Are you trying to… make friends, by getting me to go away?"
"No, you're just funny is all. And I wanted to be polite to the Tauren." she looked down at herself, uncomfortable. She had this pretty rose-red gown on, I guess it was a ballroom kinda gown. It was more than a notch better than what everyone else wore. But she also had these pretty standard slippers on her feet, and her hair looked like she'd slept on it, hardly ran her fingers through it. So, an aristocrat slumming it? Or, a thief showing off her latest prize in a place far from the Silvermoon City authorities? An investigator would notice these things. I tried to breathe out, ease off, if this was the kind of place where fellow villains gathered. I was a magnet to those, wasn't I? I must have missed The Fitz more than I realized.
"I was ashamed for my people, that we would treat you like such a stranger."
"Your people? Heh."
A smile edged at her lip, but then she bit down on it. "Call me Annie."
"Hello, Annie." Alright, I was starting to like her vibe, whoever she was. And she was pretty gorgeous, if I'm honest. She downplayed it with ratty shoes and a casual manner, hanging out beyond the ballroom, all to throw off would-be suitors. I'd seen the type before. "That is, good evening, Annie."
She laughed, knowingly. "Is that you flirting, Turaho?"
"You know my name—"
"You're the only Tauren here, or anywhere. Word gets around."
She was too fast with her answer though. Like she'd rehearsed her excuses. I decided to let her tell on herself. I became more stingy with conversation, while we both waited for the other shoe to drop.
"So… what did you think of the king's hair?"
"What king?"
I really did not expect Bonnie's mysterious informant to connect with this. At all. I needed to buy some time to think stuff through. Humor helps.
The girl lingered, looked nervous, then blew out cigarette smoke.
"…My father."
"You're—?"
"He's not a Fel Elf. Not yet. We're trying to stop him getting there, as a family. Please tell me you won't make it harder for us."
"Wait, so you're…? Princess Anthene?"
"I wish I'd been named after my grandfather instead. Would you believe that being named after the crazy invalid that threw herself at grandpa Anastarien, who the whole world views as some saintly holy person, that's somehow more pressure?" She rolled her eyes, "If I was named for King Anasterian, then I'd be… fallible. And I'd get, well, sympathy. I guess I know how that sounds." She frowned at herself again, "I'd have the potential to live up to that. I mean, the man died after thousands of years of perfect rule. Queen Anthene is the other Annie. Well, I won't be perfect no matter what they say or do to me. I won't."
"People don't normally march up and announce their TRP backstories to me. But thank you."
She let herself laugh, this time. Even that began to draw stares from across the place. She might have been among fellow counter-cultural peers, rebellious youths, the biggest fans of Saltheril's Haven, but the Princess of Quel'thalas wasn't free to be herself even here. I could see how a daughter of Kael'thas Sunstrider would be under immense pressure.
"So what do you think you're going to learn from Uncle Illidan? Want help thinking up fun questions?"
"What."
"Kael'thas hates when I call him that. Illidan's hardly anybody's uncle. You'd think Tyrande and Malfurion would have fixed that by now, but I guess every marriage, or sorry love triangle, has its problems." She blurt more laughter.
I shook my head at her, grinning. "How is it that you know everything you're not supposed to know?" then I stopped myself, "And hold on a minute—how did you know about my interest in Kael'thas' hair?"
"You asked one of mom's big Bloodknights about it."
"Right, but that's not how you asked me about it. You asked me about me, about my asking the question. You weren't interested in the answer. Yeah, you warned me not to worry about the answer, but you more came in here concerned about who gave me the tip. Didn't you?"
She hugged her knee while balancing her foot on the chair cushion. Anthene would have been stepping on her gown in order to do so. I almost winced for her poor maid, having to get out those unnecessary dirt stains. Hey, some of my cousins keep house for a living, I've listened to that kind of rage build up in a housekeeper, complaining night after night, over a lifetime.
She tapped out her cigarette. "Look, I have a friend… if you need his help." She eyed me, ensuring that I got that it was a 'him', dunno why. "Just say so." Then, she shrugged, "He's around."
"Who's around? You don't look like a Venture Co. spy to me."
Bright, beautiful smile, "Uh, not sure what that is, but okay." Wait, why was I thinking that Supervisor Fitzsprocket would have connections in the royal house? I was way off, or the burger was putting me way off. I hoped she didn't hear my stomach gurgling. "Yes Investigator Turaho, I'm a spy I guess, in a way. But don't worry, daddy's not in any real danger. I'm not interested in taking my throne until it's been cleaned off. Completely. Alright? Do you get the difference?"
Now I was seeing the dicey Saturna Whiteblade in her, too. Anthene more resembled her father in facial features. She was attractive, in that golden sort of sin'dorei way, but that raven-like gaze, that was still there, somehow. Maybe it was the natural shadowing at the edges of her eyes, the darker grin she could find if she wanted.
"I'm my own little spy network." Princess Anthene beamed proudly. Oh, she could be cute.
"And what do you intend to do with me in your private little spy game?"
She twined away, innocent, "Don't let daddy catch you talking to me like that."
"Alright, I'll bite. What's the family history with Illidan that nobody talks about? What do you think I should ask him? You seem to want a favor somehow, in all of this."
She then folded her hands on the table the way I was doing. Business-like. No nonsense. Anthene was showing me that she was just like me and that she understood me. Anthene had found a way to intimidate me without resorting to a shark lawyer like her father, the king. He was sticks and stones, compared to this, treating a Tauren investigator like an actual person and being straight with me. She'd just invented fire.
What the heck was wrong with her parents?
Maybe the older Arthas-Outland generation had to be different. They had a lot of lies and games to sift through, maybe?
But the thing is, if nobody brings that kind of negative stuff to the party, why would you bring your own?
"I am the only one in my family who wants to rule after my father. There are enough political conflicts to tangle with, and rumors… People say that my oldest brother, Belorim, isn't legitimate. And there are others who say Chao'thas isn't legitimate, either." She didn't confirm or deny anything, even if she could. She just looked at me again, straight at me. Anthene didn't find any of it funny. "So maybe my brothers won't take the throne because they don't want their claims contested, for that to drag on through their entire lives and poison everything they try to do for this kingdom. Maybe that's even wise."
I tried not to look too shocked. Gods! Was this the level of scandal Kael'thas and Saturna were likely dealing with? They'd built their marriage on that kind of shaky foundation? I didn't mean to feel more empathetic toward Kael'thas, but his insecurity kind of hit home for me. I'd be going at the seams too, if that deep pain was lingering. And not everyone looked their problems right in the face and tried to heal them, the way Anthene was doing with me. Maybe Kael'thas had stuffed them down too far, and they were driving them crazy. Well, if Saturna had lied like a fiend to keep her man and got away with it too, then villainous Kael'thas Sunstrider had more than met his match in Saturna.
"This is brave of you." I meant it.
She went on, when that was obvious, and it should have been more obvious to me that her private feelings on the matter would be difficult for her to talk about, and another thing, I was the last person for her to discuss them with. "Turaho, all of this happened before my time. Before my mother… sacrificed everything to be with and stay with my father. Keep the Sunstriders going. Now that it's my turn, I need to know if my claim to the throne is truly legitimate. I've learned over the years… that Illidan would know. Illidan hears, knows, everything that my father does, somehow. Even what he thinks. I've researched it, or I've tried. But my father won't divulge anything substantial, and you can't learn about that in a book, can you? So will you ask him for me?"
"Ask Illidan."
"Yes."
"If you're…" hey, the dramatic pause came to me naturally, these Sunstriders were scaring the crap out of me! "… … Illidan's daughter."
She stopped, slapped hands down on her lap.
"No… do I look like a Night Elf to you? Dating them is one thing…"
I did hear that right, didn't I? Oooooh, Muu'sha. Please help these shiny, crazy Elf people!
I decided not to press that particular hot button, "So you want me to ask Illidan if he knows who your father is, if not Kael'thas? Maybe Kael'thas had a talk with your mother about it once, something like that, but then king and queen Sunstrider decided not to tell their only remaining heir, their daughter, the truth.
Anthene didn't say anything else. She slipped her cigarette case shut.
"This is deep. And, this is a family matter." I started to warn her, but there was no point. She was dead set. "Well, if I am fool enough to get involved, what's in it for me?"
She looked over my shoulder for a time, down at the beach. "I'm pretty sure I was the last one to see the old Dwarf alive. But they'd never restrict me, you see. They can't. I'm too important to the kingdom. And now that my brothers are too afraid to claim their inheritance, I'm my family's last hope."
And she was comfortable using it against them. A royal, spoiled brat. Anthene almost charmed me out of seeing this about her.
"You said you're not angry with your father."
"Does my knowing where the Dwarf was last, in Silvermoon, mean that my father did it?"
"You get only one point for that." I admitted. Then, I had to ask, "Do you hate your mother then, if not your father?"
I figured she enjoyed being direct and wouldn't mind. It was meant to be helpful curiosity.
Anthene gazed at me for a while, "My mother is a survivor. What was the point of her attempting to stab a Demon Lord through the middle in order to save my father, if she wasn't willing to tell him a few lies later, to keep things together? I'm sure it hurt him, but I stopped taking sides when I finally grew up. Dad's not a paragon of virtue either, and my mom? That's who she is. Ruthlessness has its uses, you can't look at her career and deny that." Anthene sucked her teeth, but I don't think she meant it in a dismissive way. I'd annoyed her with my assumption, "My mother is Saturna Whiteblade. Just because other people don't realize that, it doesn't suddenly mean she isn't one of the most terrifying and capable Bloodknights in existence."
I caught myself before laughing, "That's how you see her?"
"We'll find out one day that mom's part black dragon and it'll make more sense to the masses. People should just get over this thing where they think us… lightweight Elf women can't do damage." And her downtrodden expression became very feline and ferocious in flash, "That's pure fuckery."
Woah. I don't say this often but… What a woman!
"Fine, now you have two points." I made sure not to smile about it.
"Point, set, match?"
I stood from the table. "When you have a life's worth of experience as a Pathfinder, and then manage to become a Paladin too, then maybe we can pretend we're at the same level."
She looked up at me, kind of like a puppy. But oh, was she dangerous. "I'm going to be queen of the realm one day."
"If you can prove your father is innocent, if that's what you mean—why not do it now then, and clear up this whole mess?"
"That information is worth a whole… helluva lot." She shook her messy blonde head, playfully. "I sell to the highest bidder. Let's see what you fish up, first, Investigator Turaho. From Uncle Illidan. Then, we'll see."
"Illidan might not have the power you think—"
"Uncle Illydaddy? He's not so bad." She stood from the table as well, "I'm sure you'll figure out something if you want this thing over and done with before your oatmeal gets cold."
What did she know about my precious oatmeal!
I was still upset about my oatmeal?
"Alright, then. If you'll excuse me." I bowed as best as I could manage with my unhappy bowels.
"Nope. You're coming with me. There are people going out of their minds to find you tonight and make sure you're at the palace for dinner. I want to be the conquering victrix for a change. My carriage is just up the hill."
"You tailed me?"
"I'm good."
I lifted my muzzle, eyeing her again for the first time. "So Kael'thas' daughter, the heiress to the Thalassian throne, is a rogue?"
A quick wink, then a wave for me to come jogging after her.
Friggin… rogues.
When the carriage ride started, I was distracted by the girl. Somewhere in there, she must have tapped the carriage wall in some subtle way, changed the driver's instructions. Because, turns out I was distracted long enough to realize we weren't traveling up the Dead Scar, the warpath the Scourge once ripped through the golden forest of Quel'thalas. No, we were going deeper in. Things weren't getting happier and more civilized. It was getting darker, no, smokier outside. I poked my head out and realized it wasn't just sunset. An ominous energy had settled on everything.
"Are you… you're kindapping me?"
"Hrm, why not? I toyed with the idea at first, but now I'm certain we should run off together."
I raised a brow, "Don't let my fiancée ever hear you talking to me like that—"
She cut me off. It was a bad joke anyway, "Turaho, I get this feeling you're a safe guy. I can trust you with this next thing. If you're going before Illidan, I want you to be completely informed about the kal'dorei problem here in Quel'thalas. Well, if we can both manage that tonight. What do you say?" she smiled anxiously when I wouldn't buy in right away, "And you'll get to skip dinner?"
I sat back and let this crazy Darkmoon Faire ride that has become a very serious mission for the Horde and Azeroth for that matter, get even worse. I decided that I should have been used to it by then.
She cheered up at my silent acquiescence, in her dark roguish way, "Really? Is it going to be this easy for me to steal off with the great Turaho Runestalker?"
Oh, flattery. It'll work every single time with a big, handsome bull like me. But I kept it humble, "I'm not that great." Anthene though, I'll admit she was pretty good.
Hocks and hay alive! I swear, these Sunstriders are about as fun as a toothache on a good day. Kael'thas, after however many years of life, is hardcore enough to risk becoming a fel'dorei in his quest for power, but still talks to his wife like he's afraid of girls. Saturna's cute, but she's really no better—you'd think she'd show a little mercy after the hoops she jumped through, and then made Kael'thas jump through too, to keep their marriage together. And it's a small shame I didn't go to that dinner, because the sons—Prince Belorim and Prince Chao'thas-sound like their own personal train wrecks. (Then again, I do hear Belorim is married to a Tauren gal, so plus-points for that.) Illidan Stormrage himself somehow manages to be the creepy uncle. And now I've met sweet little, evil Princess Anthene, the future spy mistress, rogue queen of Quel'thalas. All they're missing is a rambunctious, cute-slash-spooky pet to stop this family from being too oppressive and keep the laugh-track going. Doo-doo-doo-doo, snap! Snap!
Then again, I do love messing with people first and foremost…
"So, Anthene. What's this about you dating a Night Elf?"
