Disclaimer: The characters and settings created by Blizzard Entertainment Inc in this story are owned by their creators. I do not claim them as mine in any way, shape or form. I am not receiving monetary profit from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.
Note: If you go to Tumblr and look for pooktales or trixcuomo… you will find my blogs! And you will be very angry with me for writing so much over there, while this wasn't being updated.
Trixany is essentially canon-universe Tempestraven who lost it after Kael'thas was slain. I also do in-game performances of parody Warcraft songs on Trixany… if that doesn't sound too far-fetched. You know, I forgot that I kinda started doing parody songs through my fanfiction on this site, actually. Just for fun, at the end of a story. I guess I instinctively picked it up again years later, and now it's MAYHEM. You'll love it, you should check it out.
And now, on with the (other) show!
Chapter 23: Phoenix Dance
Another pro-tip for the young'uns out there. Don't ever check your scrying orb at night when you're supposed to be asleep. Especially not if you're a salty Sunwalker investigator in the middle of the stupidest, high-risk crap assignment Chief Baine and the Blood Elves have ever given you...
Mey was supposed to—or else I was the one who supposed that she would come back to camp and attempt to make up with me. Yeah, you know, in a good way? Instead, I got treated to a certain someone taking all the credit for doing none of the danged work, with someone else that I find quite cute. Okay so, even though sometimes I feel Saturna's pretty much evil.
And destructive.
When I took one of the spying marbles from my satchel late that night after Alessandre left, this is what I scryed on the glossy surface.
No knocks on the royal bedroom door. Kael'thas just strolled in like he wasn't in trouble with his wife for alleged holiday kidnapping and various other misdemeanors.
"Saturna? Sorry, Starshine. I only wanted to wish you good night—"
Sure, you do.
"Oh. Now he uses nicknames and claims there's something important he has to open the door for. Why don't you call a resentful 'Sweet dreams, I guess' through the bedroom door like you've been doing for the last few days, Kael'thas?"
Kael'thas held open the door to the bedroom. He leaned on the doorknob. He clearly slept in the adjoining room during their falling out, while his wife Saturna had the main bedroom.
He said, "Let's try again. I say, 'Good evening darling, I have something to share with you."
"No, you didn't say that before. You said you only wanted to wish me a good night. Now you're confessing to having a secret agenda."
"…And then you say, 'Why thank you, husband. Please share the message with me when I know you're only trying to be careful and avoid further confrontation."
Saturna Sunstrider had a book in her lap. She sighed, but then politely set it aside. "Fine, against my better judgement…Yes, dear?"
Kael'thas waited. No clue what he was thinking, this time. I hoped I didn't have to wait through another agonizing scene with him chatting up his wife under exactly the wrong circumstances. Kael'thas Sunstrider really is okay with getting freaky in some terrifying scenarios?
Time… to stop thinking about all that implies about his preferences in the boudoir.
"So, Saturna." He took tentative a step nearer, "I wanted to tell you… Turaho is gone."
"Oh. Uh…Gone?"
Well, the way she hesitated made it feel like Kael'thas was totally capable of 'rubbing me out' as the Goblin mobsters like to put it when they end someone. Geez… When she said I shouldn't underestimate her husband, Saturna was actually telling the truth, wasn't she? It was all in that one hitch in her voice.
Kael'thas looked up for a moment, his smile fading. Kael needed a moment to compose himself. He clearly felt the accusation as well. And certainly so, if I could feel it from all the way where I was spying on them, camped out in the forest.
"He's moved out. I was the one who moved him out."
Saturna resumed reading. She turned a page in her book, seeing right through his fast lie this time. "So Turaho got sick of you? Not a totally unfamiliar feeling."
Kael'thas had been on the verge of saying something else clever, but that stopped him, "He… He did not get sick of me. Okay, so he did. But it was mutual. We men came to an arrangement. Our friendly neighborhood Tauren is going to run his investigation from Eversong Woods, if he even can."
Saturna remained engrossed in whatever she was reading.
"Look, I'm your husband and I'm trying to have a conversation with you. Can you at least close your book?"
Saturna didn't look like she was ever going to. In fact, I picked up that she had the potential to be just as immature and silly with him. But then Saturna did close it. Saturna moved over and patted the bed, for him to have a seat.
"Comfortable?" Though her tone intimated he wouldn't be so for long.
Well. Kael'thas did have his ways. And, however annoying I now found both the king and queen of Quel'thalas, they were two people who were so obviously in love and so longing to be back together again—despite the kidnapping and almost homicide one of them had committed.
One more time, I'm bitter about love for a solid reason.
Saturna surpised me. She started it. Her hand caressed his cheek, then she lifted deep gold hair, streaked with black away from his neck. Her fingers roved deeper into that hair of his, then he got yanked close to her face. I blinked several times, trying to figure out her little signature move while Kael'thas could only crane his neck and she whispered something menacing at him. Then, I got it. Saturna had grabbed a fistful of hair at the back of his skull.
I finally picked up some of what she was telling him, "…I guess. I do like torturing you."
Kael'thas clearly enjoyed it, too. He wasn't really fighting her. But his face was turning red, and his neck. It did hurt.
"If you were going to tie me up for answers, Saturna, you should've done it weeks ago."
"Maybe one of the evil, sexy Blood Knights you created inadvertently through Rommath, because you enslaved a Naaru and sent it back to Silvermoon to help cover your ass while you fooled around in Outland…"
"And I hate to ask you to stop—"
"She's come back to bite you. And maybe that's your destiny? For one of your own hungry, horrible creations to keep tormenting you. Even when you want her in the worst way. Even while she's in bed with you. Hrm?"
He had to raise up on one knee, to get closer to her and close the space. She really was starting to injure him.
Saturna snarled at Kael'thas, "You're not answering me."
He gasped, in pain. Or, to take a breath when she let up, only a little. I wasn't sure with those two.
"So. She thinks she's going to use her little Blood Knight technique on me," He tugged at the shoulder of her nightgown. She let him only get so far, then gripped his wrist and pinned him down.
Then, Kael'thas stopped trying. Saturna tightened her hold and pulled on him, so that he was lying down. Flat.
She let go of his hair, then sat on his stomach.
His stomach, I said. I did try to angle the glass globe and see more, but there wasn't any more. The other way you can tell it wasn't adult-rated yet is because Kael'thas didn't seem happy about it.
"I am a powerful Bloodmage, you know."
She smiled, looked thoughtful. "Yes, I suppose you could fix all your problems by incinerating them. That's very you, Kael."
Then she loosened her hold. She placed hands on his chest. He looked serious now as well. Saturna eyed him in his state, like cat that's caught her mouse. Not ready to eat him yet.
"Alright Kael'thas, let's chat. I've been trying, very hard to trust what you told me, that you did nothing wrong. That there was a real reason for all this. But what hurts is that you, in the end, when I was so sure that you'd changed—"
"You are my wife."
"And I want to trust that you haven't done anything wrong, that this truly is deeper than it seems, like you keep saying… But everyone else in the Horde, in the Alliance, in the world seems to be against you." He was already shaking his head at Saturna. She insisted, "You've put a lot of us in that same position before you know, Kaelt'has."
"I can't believe you're doing this now."
"Why did I go to Outland to find you, why did any of us? We saved you, you needed saving! Is this you really… throwing that gift away? Because of what? You barely gave me a good answer when I first asked you-"
"I recall exactly what I told you. Saturna?"
She exhaled, then covered her face with both hands. "'We need to treat it carefully.' You said that you can't tell me more than is safe for me to know."
"Right, so—"
"Kael'thas, it's just that it sounds like a giant load of bull crap to me. Like the kinds of lies you're used to feeding…"
"Saturna—"
"…your minions."
Man, I never believed she'd ever come out and say it. Poor thing.
Kael'thas needed to say or do something to fix this thing with his wife. The shiny paint was peeling off, it was rusting, corroding with holes in it. The whole nine. I mean, I thought it was clear enough what was going on. Kael'thas is a liar, he was using her somehow. Whatever secret of his Saturna thought she was protecting, I had this gut feeling that it wasn't worth it. If he didn't plan the kidnapping himself, then Kael'thas was still dangerously involved. And Saturna was running out of chances to get the fel out.
Leave him… come on, Saturna. You can do it. Come on…
"Kael'thas, you don't have anything else to say about it?"
Leave him. It's not that hard. Just… get down, walk out the door.
Then something amazing happened. Saturna moved off, she got down from the bed. She backed toward that door.
Kael'thas leaned up on his elbows, watching her go. This concerned, then offended look on his face.
Go, Saturna. Run!
She reached for the door latch. But then, yellow flame seared the fig leaf door carvings, the relief of does grazing, the moldings, the deep carved filigree. It could have been an ancient door for all I knew, or maybe not, but I was certain that Kael'thas was igniting it.
It made me think of how he tore my bed apart, without a second thought. So Kael was a natural terror, not just with his enemies.
Saturna got her sword from a weapon rack by the wall. Some of his staves and other exotic elven items were there, too. I don't know much about Elf… fighting… paraphanelia.
"I have a choice in this, you know." Saturna held her sword low, but she was ready.
At-a-girl! Yep, a good butt-whooping works, too. I like these hard-core chicks like Meydiri, like Aponi Brightmane. Should've figured Saturna wasn't a 'cut and run' kinda chick. She was gonna sort him out first, okay. Feelin' this scene a lot.
Wait, I'd better run to the castle and help. If I ever made it. Or at least… make myself ready… I'd get up when there was a break point in the action. Mu'usha, this was awesome! They were finally breaking up, right?!
Kael'thas eased into lounging on his side. This rotten smile in his face. Black and blonde hair all over his shoulders, the sheets. "A choice?"
"You're at a loss for words, aren't you?" She straightened the weapon so that it was a silvery line, glowing with the flames. Then, she passed it behind her back. "Oh, Kael'thas. You can't scheme anymore tonight, not even if you wanted to." Saturna looked down, coy, then flashed a look up at him, "So sure that something… sexy is about to happen. But isn't that my profession? Isn't that how I ruin my enemies. I can't ever let them know which side they're on. It's how I can get close enough."
"For what?"
There was only one way through that door. She was going to have to make him let her out.
She placed a hand on the bed, then knelt on the edge. Saturna leaned in, eyes dreamy, an intimate gaze. Then her arm came around with that sword, she'd reversed it somehow, and the metal was ablaze. She passed it before her lover's eyes, opened her chest, winding her stomach, her hips.
"I hate you," she whispered.
Kael'thas barely kept his cool, "I should… probably apologize?" he winced.
"In a big way."She swept that sword down again, then paused, holding it skillfully between their bodies.
"And tell me what is going on. Now."
"I can't…"
She lunged at him, he backed into the pillows, bumped the headboard. "I'm protecting someone."
"Who?" Her eyes lit with new anger, "Who, Kael'thas! I better not be busting my ass for one of your old Legion buddies who's still hanging around. Am I?" She pushed the flaming sword at him again.
"Hey! Cut it out—"
Saturna looked truly pained, "Is it the Twilight Cultists? Their name keeps coming up, too."
"No!"
"Then WHO is it, Kael'thas?"
He set his teeth. She was going to draw blood, I swear. Then, Kael'thas did a stupid thing. He reached over the sword, through the flames, and kissed her.
Flame hushed to smoke. I saw his arm take the sword. It dropped on the floor by the bed. I heard the atonal clatter of metal, clashing with no one but the marble.
He grabbed her. She gave a conciliatory look, went instantly sweet. They went under the covers. They made up.
…How?
I stuffed the stupid scrying orb into my satchel, lay flat and angrily crossed my arms in my cold, stupid, lonely bedroll.
"What the hell?"
I noted that Kael'thas hadn't confessed a thing to her. He got away with it completely. After Saturna was driven near-crazy by it, she was willing to draw a weapon on him to get a result, but she was just going to let him keep playing games, keep being a royal jerk? I was so sure Saturna was going to walk out, she had to have been faced with the cold truth of her situation, the position he'd placed them all in. So she just rolled over for him? All that training and she was supposed to be the queen and the Blood Knight matriarch, all of it fallen away like ash, over his sorry answers?
That last look of hers, almost apologizing to him. I kept seeing it. It stuck in my craw and it infuriated me. Meydiri would have never let me get away with such a game. No, Saturna was no Meydiri. Saturna wasn't as hard as, as black-and-white and sure of the truth as us Tauren…
Unless.
I dared to sit with my horrified impression and work through the revulsion. In fact, work backwards. What had that look really said? It wasn't a look from a despairing lover. And definitely not from a Tauren girlfriend, no. It was from a wife. Wives were more supposed to be more secure in their positions. Wives could dare, cross the line, take too much without asking… but no, that was the bitter me thinking again. One singular thing about a wife over a girlfriend is that wives were in it for the long haul. Wives learned to compromise, didn't they? Wives and husbands did.
Saturna's look. It said, 'Honey I'm so sorry. Honey, what have you been through?' It was the opposite of what I first thought.
And perhaps, something in what he said… combined with what Saturna already knew. Perhaps now, Saturna did know.
Kael'thas was too careful, even in his own bedroom. He could have just said it. And Saturna, too. Both of them were being careful, as if they still imagined there could be spies around, somehow. Nosey servants, even. They'd been running the kingdom for years, they probably weren't wrong about that level of caution, either.
'Is it the Twilight Cultists, they keep coming up…' She said something like that.
And he shouts, emphatically, from his core, 'No!'
But he didn't answer about the Legion thing. She accepted that shady non-answer.
No, he was more like a naughty child whose personality tells all, regardless of whether they'll admit to it. Kael'thas had told her. Not with his words, but with who he was. Classic Kael'thas, a liar, with the skillset of a villain, a so-called good one.
A liar who was protecting someone else, as Saturna deduced.
It went well with my own instinct, however…
This meant my theory about Kael'thas actually being innocent? The whole case was hanging on one helpless look Saturna had given him.
We both could easily be wrong.
I could've shared that information with Alessandre, go and tell the Alliance that I pretty much had a confession from Kael'thas himself.
Or, I could play it like a loyal member of the Horde and see a little good in the evil of it all.
I crossed my hocks in bed, stared at my idle hooves roving around in the darkness. I was nervous, but being the 'good guy' right now also felt like doing things ass-backwards. And, damn him, it meant Kael'thas' stupid… phoenix star was rising in the sky right now or some crap because things were working out in is favor if I turned out to be right. Earlier that day, I had shouted it at Mey and my mother, and Anthene too, that I liked to be thorough; that I needed to know if Kael'thas was really innocent because I had a feeling that he wasn't the most dangerous one in it, the actual perpetrator. As Saturna said, the Twilight Cultists kept coming up, the Legion kept coming up. But of course, a part of me disliked being on Kael'thas' side. The bastard deserved to be in shackles for a number of other reasons, if not this.
"Aw, for the love of—"
Time to find out whose friends of Kael'thas Sunstrider were still connected with the Legion.
My investigator's mind also raced with all the impossible ways I might contrive to get Saturna to ever do that dead sexy flaming sword dance again. No wonder they call her the Whiteblade.
But… okay, let's stay focused here.
Mostly focused.
