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CHAPTER 10:

SOWING HOPE WITHIN FIELDS OF DESPAIR

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Ed's heart and insides distorted, and heat pulsed through him, but he ignored it.

There were no sounds of anyone getting up to follow him.

Ed suppressed a surge of intermingled pain and loss, and relief and lightness, at how eh didn't hear anyone get up, or any footsteps.

He tuned out anything Al, or Winry, or both of them; might have said, and turned to his left in what appeared to be a narrow hallway to walk into what looked like a diagnostics chamber for wounded and ill patients.

Edward suppressed the urge to sigh in relief that no one was there; and he continued towards the closed door at the front of the room without slowing down, or stopping.

In order to assume responsibility for imposing on the people who owned what appeared to be arranged like an apartment, he would have needed to talk to whatever doctors or nurses, or both, were letting them stay here.

That could have caused Al, or Winry, to catch up to him.

There was a faded white, hooded robe strewn over the back of a pillowed armchair.

Edward picked it up without breaking his stride; and then he shrugged into it, and he raised the hood over his hair and face.

He reached the door, opened it, and saw that it connected to another simple hallway.

He walked out of the apartment and closed it.

More hotness pulsed through him, but it was much weaker this time; and nothing but his heart and stomach contorted.

Ed didn't slow down, or stop, now; as well.

He turned to his right, in the direction of a staircase he could see leading down, and walked up to it to then proceed down the stairs themselves.

He had no leads for how to begin searching for Marcoh himself, so that meant he needed to snoop around and find one.

He suppressed the surge of sickness at the thought of searching for where Marcoh might be, or may have headed; based on what he knew about the Marcoh he'd abandoned and betrayed to Dante, and Gluttony.

He hated needing to attempt to figure out how to approach someone on a different side of the Gate based on the personality of someone he knew on his own side of the Gate; even with all the similarities in how they'd grown up.

That the doubles on each side of the Gate were physically the same people meant nothing.

It was a person's choices, even more than his or her upbringing; that determined who he, or she, was. Even though there were many similarities in how the doubles on the other sides of the Gate had grown up; there was no guarantee they still wouldn't have made very different choices.

How he hadn't even heard of a Dante on this side of the Gate; but Dad had a Homunculus who had taught his children to have too much confidence in themselves and not too little, was one of the most telling examples of this.

But, once more, Ed had no other place to begin.

Guilt rose, almost squeezing away his ability to breathe.

"I'm sorry, Wrath," he whispered under his breath, but not to himself.

Should he even hope the Wrath from his side of the Gate was the one Homunculus who had a chance to learn how to stand up on his feet and legs, and move forward on them?

He reached the foot of the stairs and headed for the door of what he'd been correct was an apartment complex.

He opened it to be met with a wash of cold air, but there was no snow, or ice, outside.

In front of him was a porch with a small number of steps leading down, and the colors of a late afternoon sky edging toward dusk.

He'd visited North City plenty of times in his Amestris, but there were a larger amount of apartment buildings and businesses positioned in different arrangements in this one; so Ed extremely highly doubted its roads, and streets, were arranged the same way.

So he cast about for a direction to pick.

The idea that came to mind was the one in the direction of his automail leg; not the arm he could barely believe he'd done anything for his brother, Al, with any longer.

Even so, the terror Al was still stuck in the Gate, and might be so forever; did cause everything that was inside him, and about him, and anywhen and all where, and that was him, to contort in horrified anguish.

Making sure not to look as though he was keeping a close eye on his surroundings, and thus become conspicuous; or as though he was listening in to conversations too hard; he began to stride down the sidewalk to his left, keeping his gait ordinary and unassuming, but not too unremarkable, to avoid drawing any attention that way.

"–t your lollipops here, for an unbelievable not so many zeni!"

"Trucks trudge, but these cars careen! Buy one before it careens outta' your clutches!"

"Our traps and snares can catch even Briggs grizzly bears! If they break, or any of your bones do, we guarantee you all of your cenz back!"

Ed pushed his memory of Teacher's smug smirk, when she'd told him the challenges she'd overcome during her own wilderness training, away.

He considered whether to say something to, if Amestrian territory was the same on this side of the Gate, someone who was then a confidence trickster attempting to fleece the locals by supplying equipment for hunting dangerous carnivores on publicly owned government and military property; a crime under any sensible law.

"Do you honestly believe my family, and I; will fall for that con, sleazebag?" a woman shouted angrily at the merchant who had just advertised his hunting equipment.

Ed suppressed a rush of relief.

The faster he was away from here, the better his chances of the Al and Winry from this Amestris not following him.

"I'm going to warn my brother, and my children, about you. The sole riches you'll be mining if any of them are arrested by the Briggs Mountain Patrol for illegal hunting on publicly owned property, or are eviscerated by a Briggs grizzly; are shavings of powder from the stones of your prison cell."

"Not when I sue you for public libel, you won't."

"Please. Name me one single judge who won't throw out a case like that."

"Judg–"

"Do I hear a wow at that meow; or do I see a bow at that ruff, or a dropped jaw at that caw!?"

"Because I didn't sell them my soul."

Edward suppressed the urge to wince.

What soul?

"All the birds and beasts you can behold, right here for a bounty!"

"When the price is in line; the iron from our mine is yours, not mine!"

"Yesterday, the nutcase who used to work at First Branch became the recipient of a long overdue firing."

At least the name of the bank here appeared to be the same.

"The stand up act who kept breaking the bank's code against bringing pets onto the property, and into the building?"

"You have that right.

"He had the bright idea of teaching one of them to mimic his greetings when his customers came to make transactions with him, and he was actually stupid enough to leave that parrot in a cage in front of his seat to greet his customers so he could kick back and listen to how the Northern Bracket of Hockey Tournament was going.

"That was the final straw for the bank's management; and now neither he nor his pets will be passing onto their property, or into the bank."

"You know how it goes. The world is filled with all kinds of intriguing places and people.

"Industry, particularly business vital to the economy; not so much."

"The horses at her ranch haven't won a single race since she founded it. It's nothing more than a confidence scheme now.

"My horses, however, can gallop to the market no matter how much grain they're carrying."

"So you say."

"If the President won't grant me an audience once I send him my eightieth letter, High Command finally will.

"I'm telling you.

"No military officer worth his, or her, salt wouldn't hire an engineer with a design for tanks that fire chocolate cakes, and cream pie."

"I advise you to revise that perspective.

"No military officer with his, or her, sense will hire you."

"You're not thinking this through rationally, Nataria.

"If Willard accepts my offer of employment at my factory, he'll be gran–"

The voice of an adolescent girl, brimming with contained hate and fury, clearly Nataria's; reached Ed's ears as he continued his walk.

"I'm going to make this very clear to you, Ronald; and if this doesn't work, prepare to be ignored from now on.

"My brother does not have a price."

Ed barely remembered to suppress the urge to throw up at the hateful, furious adolescent girl's voice.

"You cannot become the patron of his fireworks by pretending to want him to succeed when you're doing nothing more than offering him favors, or gifts. Willard is no one's fool. He knows as well as anyone with the barest string of common sense that kindness is not a means of discovering what someone wants; and then offering it to him, or her, in order to gain something back.

"Kindness is about putting another person first, without wishing for anything back.

"No matter what you offer him, or how many times you scout him; he will not accept employment under you.

"It matters far the least of all that the Red Lotus Alchemist was officially cleared of his war crimes yesterday, and that he used to be a patron of your own research into gunpowder."

Edward suppressed the urge to stiffen; knowing if he did, it would draw attention, and that would be particularly bad in connection to anyone discussing the Red Lotus Alchemist from this side of the Gate.

"Kimblee protected our parents from the Ishbalans by transmuting through the soldiers serving under him."

Edward suppressed the urge to wince.

The way Nataria had pronounced the last part of Kimbley's name sounded slightly different, and his State Alchemist title wasn't the same; but Ed didn't have any doubts what person from this corner of the Gate Nataria was referring to.

"We're not showing you, or him; the most minute fragment of ingratitude.

"Nor are we at all beholden to someone who offers to provide for us when he, or she, doesn't care about anyone other than himself; or, specifically, us.

"He is not going to work for a supporter of a State Alchemist who is willing to combat the enemy with tactics and strategies that care nothing for soldiers and officers in his line of fire.

"Willard will seek employment under someone who cares about his livelihood, not someone who offers to provide for him because he hopes Willard will then feel beholden to him."

"Why didn't you bring me back to life?"

"I should always hate you for creating me."

"What's wrong? I thought you wanted to see him."

"Envy was the very first Homunculus, created almost four hundred years ago, as the result of the failed human transmutation of our son, who died prematurely from mercury poisoning. I suppose you could say that Envy was once your brother."

"But then he abandoned me, and started fresh with his wife and kids. Needless to say, I never did like being replaced."

"Good grief, May is a naïve little girl.

"First of all, why does it matter what happened to my memories when Father just gave me new life?

"A life that I am very thankful for.

"You're welcome.

"As your first means of showing me your gratitude, I no longer need to wait for the Promised Day, and if I can obtain both of the Stones that I now believe that I have located, and not just one, I won't even need to utilize human sacrifices."

Ed barely remembered not to clench his hands into tight fists, or clench his teeth.

He was no longer sure he was walking as though he were just another passerby out for a stroll.

He risked correcting his stride, but he didn't look around to see if anyone had noticed.

It didn't matter who the Al, or Homunculus oldest brother, or Winry, or Granny, or Teacher, or Mustang, or Hawkeye, or Rose; were.

It didn't matter how closely he looked, or listened.

He couldn't live for any world outside of his dreams, on any side of the Gate.

He was no better than Dad had once been.

Long years of training and practice alerted him to a slight shift in the noise of the crowd that told him that someone was now weaving through it with the intention of pushing people out of the way if this surreptitious approach didn't enable him, or her, to reach the person he, or she, wanted to meet.

Ed suppressed the urge to clench his teeth.

His correction of his stride had been noticed.

Or Nataria's argument with Roland, or something else, had betrayed him.

There was no point in mincing words, or actions.

He broke into a race for the nearest side street to his left.

There was an alley wall at its end, and a set of fire staircases and balconies to his left, but they were too obvious; so Ed angled for the nearest window to his right.

A transmutation light would give him away, so he turned so his right automail shoulder was positioned to smash through the window; and then he launched himself into it while tucking into a ball, giving the glass he was about to shatter as little purchase to cut him or stab him as he could.

He was clapping his hands before he landed in an empty living room, and then spinning to slam them into the wall to the side of the window.

He ought to at least be able to manage this kind of transmutation.

The brick that surged up over the shattered window was uneven and bulging or poking out in places, but it didn't look that much different from how typical damaged brick would.

Ed suppressed a sigh of relief and turned to run for the nearest staircase; one that ascended up to a higher floor and descended into a basement through which outside lights glowed, most likely from a wide stumpy window near the ceiling.

On the opposite side of the living room rested a closed door beside two windows through which Sunlight glowed.

The top route was too obvious, and the closed door on the opposite side of the living room too clearly the less obvious alternative; so Ed suppressed the urge to apologize if his double was still awake and hadn't grown up enough yet to not take offense to how his shortness was about to be used to his advantage, and he ran down the staircase.

He drew back his hand and leapt to punch the window on the opposite wall of a dusty basement with a tiled floor, and then seized the sill with his automail hand and planted his feet against the wall to jump up into a somersault that sent him through it.

He clambered up and looked to his left to see the alley he was now in intersected the side street past the wall, so he ran up to it.

He could hear the sound of movement near the window he had broken; and that meant his pursuer, or pursuers, must have identified the ruse.

He wanted to risk peering over the wall; and hopefully uncovering that the alley was empty and he could thus double back, not onto the sidewalk where someone might be keeping an eye out for him, but up the fire staircases and landings until he reached the roof.

He had no guarantee there was at least one pursuer waiting quietly in the alleyway for him to do just this, though; so that wasn't an option.

He whirled and ran as lightly as he could; this time to his left so there would be less of a chance his footfalls could be heard around the corner.

As soon as he was far enough past a number of intersecting side streets and alleys, he broke right to a nearby set of fire staircases and landings and ascended it for the roof.

He reached the roof, but it was too risky to ascend all the way up to it where someone could see him; so he turned in the direction of the nearest window, aimed his automail shoulder, and jumped into a second tuck and somersault.

He landed on his feet to see a large fist rocket into his face, and blackness erupted in spots in front of him as he found himself staggering unsteadily back into the wall.

Then something thick and viscous splashed against his automail arm, pinning it back against the wall behind him.

A second thick and viscous substance splashed against his left arm, pinning it back against the wall behind him the same way.

"Pay up, Jelso," an unfamiliar voice said to someone.

"It doesn't take a cat to catch a skittering mouse when you have a nose like mine."

Terror and fright rushed through him, and he attempted to pull his automail arm free from what he could now see was a transparent semiliquid, but it wouldn't move.

He blinked in surprise, and tugged at his left arm.

It, too, was stuck.

He looked up to see a tall, thickset male with black hair and mustache extending into a beard that ended at his chin standing in an Amestrian uniform; standing at the side of a similarly thickset dark skinned male with black dreadlocks in Amestrian military leggings but no upper uniform.

Ed suppressed the urge to scowl at the knowledge of what that meant, and where the substance pinning his arms and preventing him from transmuting must have come from.

The shirtless soldier must be a part human Chimera.

Perhaps the other soldier, as well.

Then relief removed the majority of the dancing black spots in his vision; because standing behind them, and carrying a phone attached to a radio in his direction, was this Amestris' Major Alex Louis Armstrong.

However, Edward knew better than to believe it was this Amestris' Colonel Mustang who Armstrong was about to put him in touch with.

"That will be all, gentlemen," Armstrong said to the two other soldiers, his voice a mask of neutrality.

The two soldiers saluted and walked in single file with military briskness out through an open door to the right, the shirtless soldier the last to leave and closing the door behind him.

A number of emotions passed through Armstrong's eyes, among them sympathy and worry, and a small number of tears brimmed in them without falling.

"President Bradley has informed me of your identity, so I am permitted to be present for this conversation," he said.

Ed felt no surprise, or the urge to clench his teeth.

"In that case, if whatever this Bradley calls himself wants to hear from me, he better believe that he will."

The corners of Armstrong's lips turned up slightly; but he gave Ed a wary look that told Edward, for one reason or another Ed was unaware of, he would follow his orders to hold him in custody as a deserter, at least for the time being.

He held the phone to the right side of Edward's head.

Ed wasted no time.

He was unsure of how much Armstrong knew, so the first thing he questioned was, "What's your first name, not your title?"

This Bradley's voice was as composed as Pride's had been when he was acting in his guise as the military leader of Amestris.

"Both Colonel Mustang and Major Armstrong are aware of it, and I have taken sufficient measures to ensure few others are."

Edward suppressed a surge of new terror and self hatred and guilt and horror at his awareness of what that meant, but he extremely highly doubting pressing for specifics would make anything better.

"I am known as Wrath."

"Either because of love, or out of foolish curiosity, human transmutations are attempted, and when these attempts all backfire, a different life is created… a being that is its own body and mind, but no soul. This is how the d-mned are born… This is a Homunculus!"

Ed pushed all the self hatred and guilt away.

He searched for a sarcastic remark he could make that compared this Wrath to the one he knew, and this Pride to Führer King Bradley.

"I used the remains of my baby and some elements, and attempted to perform a human transmutation, but what came back was… I believe you know what it was…"

"Something not… not human…"

"When I awoke, I was once again in front of the Gate. Edward, what did you see when you looked into it?"

"Everything… everything there is to know about alchemy, life… everything… it felt like all the knowledge of the world was pouring into me… The truth was in there…"

"The truth? It looked like h-ll to me. And I gave him to it. That's where I left the child."

Something set solidified inside Ed.

It was most likely entire futile, but he couldn't let this happen a second time.

"The Bradley I knew calls himself Pride," Edward responded.

"But it doesn't matter whether you believe what you see as the Truth is the absolute law of the world or not.

"The Wrath I know spent much of his life as much of a prisoner of the Portal, or Gate as we refer to it, as any human can.

"If your Father's transmutation goes wrong, he'll pay the same price for flying too close to the Sun that any natural born human does.

"If you truly love your father; for his sake as well as anyone else's, you need to convince him not to perform the transmutation he's setting up before he pays the price any human, Homunculus or natural, will."

"If I disobey my father, the transmutation will be far more liable to be unsuccessful if the Portal is opened by a Homunculus whose children defy the mandates of nature by betraying our service to the parent who gave us life."

Ed's stomach warped at the reminder that; while Dad's Homunculus believed in all of the Truth, not just the mandates of survival Dante did, the other Homunculi on this side of the Gate weren't that much different than her.

"That won't make any difference," Ed responded.

"And even if it does, when he's transmuting the Truth itself, I'm pretty sure the transmutation isn't all he'll need to worry about.

"As long as it's part of him as a crutch, anything could cause it to yank him before the Portal to pay its price for opening it.

"Additionally, you're not teaching yourselves confidence, or assisting your Father in attaining it; by letting the edicts of the Truth rule you. Our choices determine our lives, not the laws of nature. The world constricts what we can accomplish; but there isn't one single law of alchemy, and the world, that binds who we are and how we think and what we feel and what we decide to be. We become who, and what, we choose to be. How we're born doesn't have the most minute say in how we choose to live, or a single decision we make throughout all of our lives.

"If you Homunculi have as much confidence in yourselves as you claim to have; you must recognize that the concept that God or nature or a demon or our brains made us do it is a lie. It's woven from the refusal of natural born humans to face reality, and to accept responsibility for their own thoughts, feelings, words, actions, and choices; or the greed natural humans have to believe they're born entitled, while other people are constrained to serve them and have no say in the matter. The phrase, 'I can't stop myself,' or anything similar; is among the most drastic ways it's possible for a natural human, or a Homunculus, to close his, or her, eyes to the truth of reality.

"If you have so much confidence in yourselves you believe you can live better lives than natural born humans do, then get up and use your strong pairs of legs and prove you're above our human sins and mistakes.

"Don't use the Truth as a crutch that keeps you from thinking for yourselves; and feeling for yourselves; and making your own choices; and assuming responsibility for who, and what, you are.

"If you want to live by what you see as the Truth, then do so; but do it because you're moving forward to make your own choices, and deciding to live that way of your own free choice; not because you're refusing to accept responsibility for your own thoughts, feelings, words, and actions. And if you decide to live by the laws of alchemy, don't do it by living in accordance with the laws of survival. That's even worse than believing in all of the Truth. The laws of survival do nothing more than teach us how to create a world of apathy and chaos; they can't bring anyone warmth, or kindness.

"Your knowledge of the mandates of nature, however; gives you even more to be proud of yourselves for possessing than you believe.

"Because of how close you Homunculi are to the Truth, you could share the knowledge of how alchemy, and all other science, functions with natural humans; and by doing so, harness it to make Amestris, and the world, a better place. As long as you do nothing more than hoard it for yourselves and looking at nothing more than your own dreams, you're just shutting yourselves away from the world and refusing to walk on your strong legs within it.

"Unless you, and your Father; stand up on your own legs and think for yourselves, while you walk in the world outside of your dreams; your confidence as Homunculi will never be anything more than an entire fabrication."

"You're even more naïve than the Fullmetal Alchemist I instated in his position," Wrath responded.

But Edward saw no reason to not let himself start slightly in a surge of disbelieving hope.

Because there was a surprisingly faint undercurrent of uncertainty in Wrath's voice, and one that sounded as though it had been there for a very long time.

"As you said; most natural humans decide to close their eyes to reality and live in dreams, so they compete for crutches.

"With that in mind, how will sharing our learning with natural humans; and living among them; accomplish anything but give natural humans even more livestock and resources to wage wars for, and commit other sins to seek to grasp?"

"Did he live this way, too? Stealing bodies, creating wars? For what purpose?"

"Because we were worth it."

"What the h-ll is that supposed to mean? You sacrifice countless lives to create the Stone, and then you take it for yourself so you can live longer."

"Humans can't handle the Stone."

"Humans are controlled by their sins, and the Philosopher's Stone has power far greater than any weapon ever forged. So I've taken cities. Humans would destroy the world. The lives lost have been necessary martyrs, saving mankind from itself. I am the guardian, the Shepherd of Sins. I have to live on, to prevent you humans from doing something foolish with the Stone."

As much as Ed disagreed with Dante, Dante was a living testament herself to how low human alchemists were willing to plummet to chase the Stone.

Ed didn't even want to think about how deeply they'd cascade if they knew the Truth itself could be transmuted.

"You must know by now that we fomented the Ishbalan Civil War to transmute the third Stone Father needs. If we taught humans at large what we know about the Truth and the Stone, almost every alchemist and war profiteer stretching all to every corner of the globe would foment wars to transmute the Truth or the Stone; and then sacrifice the additional lives necessary to transmute one, or both.

"Humans have no capacity to live in any other way than by envying and feasting upon each other, and one another.

"Because change requires people to seek a better future."

"And as long as there are people who seek the Stone's forbidden power, the bloodshed will keep happening."

"I'm sure, whatever happens, you'll find your way out. You've got strong legs. You'll get up and use them, won't you, Edward?"

Ed's stomach heaved.

"Ed! Get up, Ed! Get up, Ed, and move forward!"

This wasn't the time for that.

"As you admit, people live in their dreams, and not in reality; and dreams lead to envy, and war, and death, and torment.

"But a search for a better future requires dreams."

"You're talking as though every single dream does nothing but hurt people and kill them, for no other reason than because he or she has one, or more, of them! That means that it's wrong for this Winry to dream of building better automail for this variation of you, even though better automail will enable big brother to not just stand on stronger legs to protect me from hardship, but the people of this Amestris from the Homunculi and the President, too; or for me to dream of not letting anyone else die because I don't want to see it happen any longer!"

"You're going too far by saying things like comparing this person to Cornello!"

Ed pushed it away.

The Al of this Amestris believed power, and cooperation, could solve problems; not responsibility, and promises.

"If both the Truth and dreams fashion nothing but death and torment; then the strongest and the most confident legs are to be found by living in every last sanction of the Truth, loyalty to our parent included, not deciding between strictures and casting away the edicts without merit.

"Species that can't adapt to their environment die out. Humans are capable of nothing but dreaming without cessation for richer abundance, or the suspension of the treasures of the past or present. They can't change, and thus they cannot adapt; so they have no means of utilizing anything but strength as a means of surviving within their environment. Homunculi can adapt as we see fit through the Truth of alchemy and the cosmos and nature and the world, and remain eternal to this day.

"Father, and my brethren, and I, have no other means of attaining happiness; than to separate ourselves from natural born humans until they're done devouring each other, and one another, and to devour them ourselves when feasting upon them enables us to further survive alongside the Truth, until they've died out for good."

Strength again?

"Happiness that believes in hardship by bartering gifts and revenge, as though they're nothing more than issues of rewards and expenditures, does nothing more than enable Homunculi to flee from hardship even more effectively. You're not surmounting hardship, you're just closing your eyes even to dreams and fleeing it. Even if Homunculi, at least, can attain real eternal life; you'll accomplish nothing more than to live endlessly as the sole people who remain."

"We'll still have our kin."

The uncertainty was gone from Wrath's voice now.

However; that Wrath, at least, believed in genuine love and kindness and warmth and family, however little, meant Ed might at least have a small chance of reaching him if he brought up how believing there was a single answer also couldn't enable anyone to surmount hardship.

"That gives your family an amount of meaning; but when your love for your Father is based on his assumption you're required by the Truth to be loyal to him; there's still that not that much difference between that belief, and the assumption that everything happens for one single purpose, and all people are willing to work together for that one reason.

"However, there is no one reason everything happens for.

"Humans, Homunculus or natural born; have different hopes for the future and the present, and different ways of reflecting upon the past, not all of which can be proven. War and torment, and death and pain, are brought into being because each person has her or her own concept of an ideal future or present.

"It doesn't matter whether you see cooperation or competition as the reason for which everything happens. If you believe in competition, you're returning what you receive; if you believe in cooperation, you're just living for a dream of ties that assumes all people are willing to work together, and no one wants to be left alone to live his or her own life without being dragged into your messes. That's not Equivalent Exchange; that's still requiring other people to sacrifice themselves for your dreams. Unless you accept that there is no single blissful reality, and choose to live for bonds as a promise of the future and the present because they need you to promise to do so for their sake, and you live for it because you see it as an incontrovertible Truth; you're still closing your eyes to everything but your dreams, and you're not walking forward on your own legs with confidence in who you are as Homunculi.

"You're not sacrificing yourself for your Father, you're bartering that price."

Ed blinked at the genuine, contained anger that was now in the President's voice.

"You have the nerve to call us hypocrites for seeing ourselves as better than humans; yet by believing life and reality don't exist for a reason; as all humans do, you still see your life as somehow better than not even artificial Homunculi, but your fellow humans.

"At least Homunculi don't see themselves as better than each other, and one another.

"Humans do that all the time; whether their fellow is a Homunculus, or a natural human.

"How is your life worth so much more than anyone else's that you can claim we're wrong to believe in returning eleven to our Father and the Truth; and then you turn around and purport that giving eleven won't bring about just as much hardship out of nothing more than arrogant blind faith that it's somehow okay for you to be the sole person who knows hardship without dreams?"

"You're talking as though every single dream does nothing but hurt people and kill them, for no other reason than because he or she has one, or more, of them! That means that it's wrong for this Winry to dream of building better automail for this variation of you, even though better automail will enable big brother to not just stand on stronger legs to protect me from hardship, but the people of this Amestris from the Homunculi and the President, too; or for me to dream of not letting anyone else die because I don't want to see it happen any longer!"

"You're going too far by saying things like comparing this person to Cornello!"

Ed's insides contorted with a drawn sickness; and he could now barely keep not just his new self hatred and guilt and terror and hopelessness away; but the self hatred and despair and horror and guilt he'd known since he'd returned to Lior and discovered what he'd done to Rose, and the other people of the city, by closing his eyes to it and abandoning it for Al's, and his, own dreams.

This, however, didn't alter how, when someone, Homunculus or natural human; needed him to do something for that person's sake; he'd cause that person, and one or more others, to cry if he returned eleven and didn't give it.

"Leaving aside the issue of whether or not it proves anything; when humans, Homunculi or natural, devour each other and one another, for all the hardships that brings about; it at least shows that one life is worth no more and no less than another life; so the Amestrian niche of the cosmos belongs to potent Homunculi who can adapt and evolve, not strong natural humans who can't.

"Furthering your hypocrisy; if what you say is true, and my oaths to my Father are founded on lies; so too are the oaths of service my soldiers and officers swore to me. As you say, the tenets of alchemy teach us to search for salvation in truth by questioning the nature of truth before gaining any faith in it; so a single exception to any law disproves it and requires the theory to be rewritten. However, whether or not believing the Truth and Equivalent Exchange constrain us without continually questioning for exceptions to the rule does or doesn't constitute bad science; the unity of our Homunculus family at least gives it enough examples that our definition of bonds and happiness is a theory. Your trust in promises is nothing more than a hypothesis.

"If I were you, I'd drop the scriptures and pick up an alchemy textbook. We're the closest things to Gods there are."

"You're not Gods. You're not even close."

It doesn't matter who you are. If you work hard, it pays off. I know Equivalent Exchange is true. And I don't care if it's childish to believe in its precepts. I'd rather be considered a child than live in a world of cynicism, chaos, or apathy. I'm sorry. I thought I didn't care about it, but I did need to believe in something… all this time.

"Maybe what Dante said was right. Maybe you can give up all you've got, and get nothing back. But still, even if I can't prove it's true, I have to try. For your sake, Al."

Ed pushed away the memories before the two sets of eyes in the two faces, one tan skinned and one peach skinned, lost the hope they were drowning in and became empty of anything but absent ruined and broken despair.

He couldn't prove fulfilling his promises to the world outside of his dreams could bring anyone happiness was anything more than a hypothesis, yes; but he still needed to try, for the sake of every Al and Winry and Granny and Rose living at every corner of the Gate.

Even if he couldn't prove it enough for it to even become a theory, he was going to see at least one Homunculus on this side of the Gate gain true hope; on his or her own legs and not from too much faith in someone, or something, that didn't care about him at all, or not in the most important ways that mattered.

The question was how.

Particularly when the Al of this world, and perhaps the Winry; still believed there was nothing wrong with sacrificing the rest of Amestris for their dreams as much as the Homunculi d–

Edward's eyes flew open wide, and genuine light hope surged.

Al still believed the rest of Amestris could rot for this Ed's, and his, dreams.

However, the Homunculi may have not just considered, but theorized about, an alternative; and they were just too stuck up to be willing to utilize it.

Perhaps he couldn't protect the Al, and Winry, and Granny, and Teacher, and Sig, and Mustang, and Hawkeye, and Major Armstrong, and Rose; on this side of the Gate.

But there genuinely might be something he could do to teach the Homunculi on this corner of the Gate to get up and move forward on their own strong legs.

"You're still a cauldron calling the pan black," Ed responded, keeping his voice as neutral as possible.

"Because you see cooperation with humans as beneath you when you have ways around it; you're attempting to create your third Cselkcess method Stone to transmute the Truth. But your Father, and you, have said it yourselves.

"You need a human who himself or herself is a living Gate to serve as the toll, don't you?

"If that's so, you don't even need your third Stone; or to sacrifice anyone but me.

Edward's insides contorted at the knowledge that still meant the around, or over, or well over; one hundred million human souls who had already been sacrificed would become even greater victims.

However, those souls were already all but dead, with no hope for them of regaining their bodies and minds; so that wasn't as bad as seizing tens of thousands, or hundreds of thousands, more souls that still had minds and bodies.

Far more importantly, if the hypothesis he could now perceive the first traces of fit together; the Homunculi wouldn't need any Stones at all to reconstruct the Truth within the Homunculus they named Father.

"What we would have sacrificed as the toll wouldn't have been a human's body, mind, or soul; but mammoth quantities of thermal energy, released by the particle and antiparticle collisions of five different Truths repelling themselves in accordance with the Principle of Uncertainty that demonstrates nothing can be perceived too keenly without its position being changed."

Ed's insides warped with a new kind of sickness.

He'd been more correct than he'd believed.

Dad's Homunculus, and his children; didn't even just need to open the Portal to whatever corner, or corners, of the Gate their supposed Father, and the two Milosian Stones, were imprisoned in; in order to break their legs even more; without needing to wait to implement however they intended to transmute their second Cselkcess style Stone.

They didn't need to sacrifice anyone to do it.

Even though these Homunculi had too much confidence in who, and what, they were; and not too little; these Homunculi actually were crippling themselves more than Dante's did.

This time, Ed saw no reason not to let a small amount of his disgust and anger at how severely Dad's Homunculus, and the other Homunculi; were lying to themselves about their confidence in how they were Homunculi.

"Let me see if I understand your theory," Ed spoke with sarcasm.

"You're going to prove you can understand, decompose, and reconstruct the Truth as part of yourself,"

Armstrong's eyes became wide.

Bradley, however, didn't interrupt him; so he didn't care if Armstrong knew the goal of their research or he believed the measures he'd implemented would keep Armstrong from disrupting it.

"By spending a lot of needless toil, much more than Equivalent Exchange requires, to etch a citywide transmutation circle somewhere for creating a third Cselkcess variant Philosopher's Stone; when all that's left for you after centuries of research into how to prove your theory is to kidnap five humans who are living Portals and transmute five particle and antiparticle collisions; and bring your Dad and the other two Stones back from the Portal?

"In what rationally logical way is that not bad science?"

This, however, might give Ed the opening he needed.

He plunged on before Bradley could answer.

"If those are the variables of your formula, I have a counter hypothesis."

Ed's insides shifted and distorted with sick terror, but if he didn't understand and agree with the Al and Winry from this corner of the Gate even this much; he had no idea how to protect them at all.

"From what I know of the Al and Winry on this corner of the Gate, they're long gone from anywhere I was seen by now; so you can't take them captive.

"But if you're willing to pardon me for the crime of subduing and abducting a State Alchemist, and enlist me in his stead until he's capable of returning to his duties; and you don't attempt to sneak any extortion or blackmail around me while I'm doing this, or you at least keep your own distance when I catch you in the effort or attempts and let me go about my own business, I'll find and ask four other alchemists to willingly contribute to the transmutation.

"And if five of those alchemists can perform one third of it, another ten can very likely perform the other two.

"Maybe that; at least if it's brought about from real confidence in yourselves and cooperation, will be a sufficient toll for Dad's Homunculus to decompose the Truth and reconstruct it as part of himself both during the transmutation, and after it's over.

"Or do you have so much blind faith in the Truth, and survival, and what you are, and who you are; you're going to refuse an offer from a natural human when it might have a better chance of keeping your Father from paying the price for the transmutation if it backfires than if you do nothing more than close your eyes to the Truth with the Stone?

"I offer you this oath of service as a foreign illegal alien who wishes to enlist in the Amestrian military."

Bradley said nothing for a number of seconds.

To Ed's surprise, he discovered he was holding his breath.

"I will bring this up to Pride, and the other Homunculi; under the conditions that you refuse us anything more than your full cooperation unless and until I give you a direct order to fulfill that oath," Bradley spoke back, and this time his voice was the composed self Edward was familiar with from the Homunculus he knew. "After this; a second desertion will qualify as gross insubordination, desertion of your post, and dereliction of duty, all in the face of all of Amestris' clear and present enemies; thus placing me in the position I need to be to publicly order you to be openly hunted down and arrested to be court martialed under Amestrian law or shot.

"Keep in mind, however; due to how I am the sole Homunculus required to directly deal with the prosperity of my own kind, and natural born humans, the other Homunculi will very likely be far less willing to accept your offer; most of all Pride and Envy.

"If we're able to discover a way to recall Father before we've made our decision, he is even less likely to be willing to accept it."

Edward suppressed a surge of self hatred and horrified guilt and terrified despair and agonized ruin at the second name.

As well as the urge to inform Bradley the Chimera they'd believed had abducted Marcoh was actually Dante's Envy.

He didn't need to play that card now, and Dante's Envy couldn't be that dangerous.

If he could trust the other Homunculi at least enough to tell them about him without having too much reason to believe that would place this Al, Winry, Granny, Teacher, Sig, Mustang, Hawkeye, and Rose, and the rest of this Amestris; in that much danger; he'd warn them then.

Otherwise, he could leave his own Homunculus half brother to them, and Lin and Lan Fan and Foo, for now; or himself if he ran into the foreign Envy himself once again.

"However, if Pride and the other Homunculi agree to your offer; at least until such time as Father returns and overrules it; I will put you through the State Alchemy Exam off the record; and if you pass it, you will be instated off the record in our Amestrian military as the Variant Mail Alchemist."

Enough lightness rushed throughout Ed his head swam a sizeable amount, and a small number of black spots began to dance in his vision.

A slightly painful throb of emptiness at the very possible loss of his title as the Fullmetal Alchemist passed through him.

This time, Edward would have clenched his teeth tightly if it hadn't been mostly submerged in the far more starkly drawn and searing pulse of terrified self hatred and horrified hopelessness at the knowledge a synonym of armor would be part of his new name.

Ed forced himself to speak with an old, smug brashness he had no idea how he could even force himself to feel now.

"That sounds like enough of a foundation for an enduring compromise to me."

.

"Well! I'm impressed they can grow in a place like this. Guess they haven't died yet."-Kevin Winnicot

"No, they won't die! I water them every single day, and give them fertilizer."-Shion Uzuki

"Oh, I see. Well, there's no guarantee that they won't die in the future. I don't understand it. Why did you want to plant them here? You could have planted them in the flower bed in the rear garden."-Kevin Winnicot

"Because, that's too far away from Mom's room. This is closer to her room, and that way Daddy can see them, too."-Shion Uzuki

"I can't really see Supervisor Uzuki having any interest in flowers. Listen, you need to understand how the world works. For humans to live we have to conquer, and destroy, and eat other organisms. That's the most basic function of an organic being. I'm sorry, Shion, but there's no point to what you're doing."-Kevin Winnicot

"But, that's not true! When pretty flowers are in bloom, they make everyone feel happier. Even my Daddy!"-Shion Uzuki

"I wouldn't bet on that."-Kevin Winnicot

"Even Feb said so! And that's why I planted them here."-Shion Uzuki

"Huhh. I don't get it, but if you say so."-Kevin Winnicot

"Hey! If you're going to just sit there, then give me a hand. Water those flowers over there!"-Shion Uzuki

"What? Wh-Why should I have to do that?"-Kevin Winnicot

"Because! You aren't doing anything. Stop complaining and help! Go on, do it!"-Shion Uzuki

"Hey! Hey quit it! That's cold. This is all your fault!"-Kevin Winnicot

"You're all wet!"-Shion Uzuki

"This just isn't my day. Well, what do you want me to do?"-Kevin Winnicot

"Water the flowers there. Oh, and this one, too. Not like that! You have to be more careful! Otherwise you'll hurt them."-Shion Uzuki

"How could I hurt them? They're just flowers."-Kevin Winnicot

"No, here. Give it to me. I'll show you how."-Shion Uzuki

XENOSAGA: Episode 3:

ALSO SPRACH ZARATHUSTRA