I do not own Danmachi/Jujutsu Kaisen or any other referenced franchise, only my own OCs.
{Thoughts}
"Speech"
Character Sheet / System Text
"Tvs, Radios, Texts, and newspapers…"
(Disclaimers)
*Onomatopoeia*
"Cursed Speech"
…
…
I smirk as I make my way out of the dungeon.
That was hilarious! Ais is adorable as hell. I'm rooting for Bell to get her, I can already imagine the amount of entertainment that would come from their interactions.
My first meeting with two of the Executives of the Loki familia was unexpected but welcome. Riveria is hot as hell. If only she didn't have an army of simps who would murder any non-elf that approaches her.
Finn is a shota. As expected.
If I ever befriend him somehow, I'm gonna introduce him to some ara ara onee-sans so that he can finally destress.
They'll ara ara~ the stress away.
I'm glad Bell still had his Plot armor to save him. I kept an eye out on the Minotaurs on all of this floor while fighting as well as on the Cursed Energy-infused knife I gave him. Still, I wasn't sure if he was ever in deep enough trouble that I had to resort to plan B.
Plan B was basically screaming "Sleep!" until my throat hurts.
Probably would buy me enough time to track his knife.
Though that may be wishful thinking on my part and he would've just died before my voice could reach him.
No need to bring myself down with sad thinking though. He lived and the plot remains relatively the same for now.
I'll do my best to avoid risks like these from now on. I just needed this one time for my own personal reassurance.
That was selfish of me, putting Bell at risk for my own ease of mind, but I never said I was a good person.
I'll make it up to Bell.
I continue making my way through the streets after leaving the dungeon, walking with a confident stride after exiting the dungeon with three Minotaur drops.
As a level 1.
I should probablycurb my ego now, but it would make for great character development later so…
I eventually reach the Guild and enter like I own the place, immediately spotting two things of note.
Number one, Bell is currently crying next to Eina as she pats him with regret and sadness on her face.
Number two, The King, Ottar, is making his way through a crowd with some files in his hand as everyone stares at him with awe and envy.
He doesn't spare any of them a glance and simply walks as the crowd splits for him to pass with some showing fear at the look on his face and his presence.
Which is just a scary stoic face. Poor guy probably has a bad case of Resting Bitch Face. RBF.
Though it's good to finally see the big man of this current period. I gotta smash his face in once I'm strong enough. Then maybe mock his thot goddess in front of him to make him angry.
I wonder what his wrathful Cursed Energy tastes like?
A sadistic smile makes its way to my face, hidden behind my collar.
I see him start for a second and I quickly move away without looking at him. I can easily hide in the giant crowd thanks to my short height, so I am sure he did not notice me.
Might've let out some killing intent or something like that, oops.
I quickly move out of the crowd and towards Bell and Eina just as Bell stops crying for a second to speak.
"H-he sacrificed himself… f-for me! T-there were three m-minotaurs… T-they suddenly appeared and… h-he… he told me to run… and I did! Like a coward!" He semi-screams the last part as Eina continues patting him under the pitying gazes of other Guild workers and Eina's own sad gaze.
"... He did a noble thing, Bell. He wouldn't want you to cry like this after he sacrificed himself for you." She really fucking sucks at consoling people. Must come with seeing so many adventurers die.
"You are correct, Miss Eina. I did not train you to cry so easily, did I? Bell. Cranel." I enter the conversation with a smirk as Bell's head snaps towards me so fast I swear I heard a crack.
Eina stares at me in shock, as if she's looking at a ghost.
I notice a certain familiar presence staring at the back of my head and smirk.
Must've been watching Ottar and found Bell when they were both in the guild.
I move and grab Bell by the collar before lifting him up in the air, which looks very weird since we're the same height but I digress.
"Up on your feet. Bell Cranel, I find your lack of faith disturbing." My monotonous voice and usual deadpan expression are the final straw for Bell as he lunges at me and begins crying again.
Ew. I hope he doesn't get any snot on me. Or something like that.
The sacrifices that I have to do as a big brother.
"M-Mikey! Y-you're alive! H-how… I-I… I saw you with those m-minotaurs and I t-thought…" He hugs the life out of me while crying as I sigh and pat his back.
Eina stares at me, still shocked, and I quickly incline my head at the private booths as she snaps out of it and nods, moving to our usual booth.
"Come on, Bell." I shake him a little as he sniffles slightly before letting go of me and wiping his tears with his sleeve.
We move behind Eina as she nods to her co-workers before leading us to a familiar door and entering it first.
We enter the booth behind her and I close it behind us while double-checking the lock before turning to face the no longer crying Bell and the less shocked Eina.
"You all must have questions." I comment emotionlessly with a matter-of-fact tone as Eina wryly smiles and Bell nods rapidly.
"H-how did you escape the three m-minotaurs Mikey?" Bell shakily asks as Eina stares at me in expectation.
"... Escape?" I reach into my coat and take out three giant Magic Stones before throwing them on the table.
Bell's mouth opens in shock and amazement as Eina's glasses crack.
Huh. That anime cliche works here?
Wait… It's no longer broken?
"WHAT!?" Eina stands up and slams the table while yelling at the top of her lungs as I pinch the bridge of my nose in exasperation.
"Miss Eina. Inside Voice." I demand with half-lidded eyes as she blushes and quickly sits down while Bell gulps at my tone.
After all, that's the tone I use when I order him to run around our district a couple dozen times.
Good times. Sadism is a drug.
I am also a hopeless addict.
"I am so sorry Michael! I forgot again." She quickly gets up again and bows deeply with a flush as I sigh.
"It is fine. Also, it seems now that I have given you my first death scare, I have been promoted from Mr. Inumaki to Michael?" I add a little humor to my voice as her eyes widen and she flushes again.
"I apologize, I'll stop it if you-" "I am merely jesting. You are free to call me whatever you feel fitting." I cut her off right away with amusement as she lets out a small 'thank you' before sitting down again with red ears.
Adorable. If only she wasn't louder than a Leaf Blower at 6 am.
Bell excitedly grabs the big Minotaur stones while comparing them to some of the ones we got on the first four floors on our way down. The Minotaur ones are many times bigger and thicker, the other stones can't even compare.
"As I was saying. I easily killed the three Minotaurs before making my way out of the dungeon. That's the gist of things." I look away from Bell to Eina as she stares at me unamusedly while Bell grimaces while looking at me.
"Michael. Your head is bleeding profusely." Eina states with a dangerous edge in her tone as I match her gaze with my own unbending stare.
"This but a flesh wound." I state with finality as Eina grows affronted and opens her mouth in outrage, ready to lecture me.
Before she can though, a knock resounds from the door of our booth as I raise a hand up to stop any conversation, and Eina nods before moving to open the door.
Bell and I watch Eina open the door slightly and talks to someone briefly before leaving the room.
"Are you alright, Bell?" I turn away from the door and face Bell as he rubs the back of his head with a sheepish look.
"Y-yes… I was saved by a beautiful adventurer just as I was about to die." He enthusiastically explains before realizing what he just said and quickly flushing in embarrassment.
"... Wow, Bell. I am fighting three Minotaurs after sending you away for your own protection, and you decide to use your time picking up girls? I am hurt." I smirk while speaking as Bell's eyes widen in horror.
"N-no! I-it's not like that at all! You've got it all wrong! S-she saved me a-and that was it! Not that I wouldn't want- wait! No!" He grows as red as a tomato and quickly begins to sputter.
I chuckle at the scene as Eina re-enters the room and into a peculiar scene.
I give her an eye-smile as she looks at me questioningly before turning to the sputtering Bell and then back to me.
"Don't mind it. Bell is being Bell." I explain as Eina momentarily has a thoughtful face before nodding as if that makes sense.
"What do you mean by Bell is being Bell?!" Bell exclaims loudly with displeasure as Eina giggles while I chuckle.
"Nothing, Bell. Now. How about you describe this so-called beautiful adventurer that saved you?" Bell stares at me in betrayal as Eina's eyebrows rise to the roof as she quickly turns to Bell with narrowed eyes.
"What's this about a 'beautiful' adventurer saving you?" Her tone makes a shiver run down his spine leading me to smirk.
You're gonna have to work for that harem ending, little Bell.
Especially with your elf fetish. The amount of work you need to convince the several dozen elves you're gonna shoot for is painful and I'm not even the one that's gonna be doing the work.
I break out of my musing with a smirk as I watch Bell squirm under Eina's waiting gaze.
"Well?" She demands.
"U-um… After I ran away from Mike, I encountered another M-minotaur in one of the hallways on the fifth floor. It began chasing me and I eventually ran into a dead-end. Just as the M-minotaur was about to… hit me with its club, a b-beautiful adventurer with blonde hair and golden eyes saved me by cutting the Minotaur in half with her rapier!" Bell hesitates at the beginning but grows more excited at the end.
Eina stares at Bell with half-lidded eyes and a very neutral expression before settling on a wry smile for a second as she grows thoughtful.
"Golden eyes, blonde hair, rapier… This must be…" She starts, her eyes widening.
"The Sword Princess." I finish for her as Bell stares at me with widened eyes.
"You know who she is, Mike?" He excitedly asks as he leans forward and closer to me.
"... Yes, I met her after I killed the Minotaurs. Alongside Braver and Nine Hells." Eina looked like she was about to faint while Bell was staring at me with stars in his eyes.
"W-what is she like? … W-what's her favorite color…?" He whispers the last question as I laugh.
Eina is facepalming so hard right now.
"I said I met her. I did not say I learned about her hobbies and favorite color, Bell." Bell blushes deeply and hides his face behind his hands as Eina giggles.
"Anyways, her name is Ais Wallenstein. She is a level 5 adventurer from the Loki familia. She is also the record holder for the fastest level-up, leveling up in only a single year!" Eina speaks with a finger on her chin as Bell eats up her words enthusiastically.
"A year? Wow! Is that fast?" Eina facepalms as I chuckle.
"Yes! Many people take years if not decades to level up once! Some don't even level up in their entire lives!" Eina exclaims as Bell's mouth drops in awe.
"Give me a couple weeks." Eina's head snaps towards me so fast that I am 99% sure she died for a moment before coming back. She looked at me with such incredulity that I could not help but chuckle.
"I believe in you, Mike!" Bell smiles brightly at me as I turn to him with a warm gaze.
What a good boy. Too bad he's gonna turn into a fucking monster and overtake me soon.
Eina turns to look at Bell and then back to me before repeating the process multiple times and eventually smashing her face against the table.
"You two are idiots…" She mutters with her face against the table as Bell tilts his head in confusion.
"I bet my left kidney Bell's gonna level up in a month at most." I monotonously announce as Bell and Eina turn to stare at me with horror.
"W-w-what?! M-me? Y-you have to be mistaken!" I turn to level a glare at Bell as he wilts immediately.
"No, really, you have to be mistaken. I mean, I can sort of believe where your confidence comes from when it comes to you, but… Bell?" Eina stares at me with a grimace as Bell wilts a little more.
"Oi, Miss Eina, watch what you say. Bell has more potential than most of the common rabble in this city." I get up to hit Bell's head lightly and glare at Eina.
Bell rubs his head where I hit him and stares at me with puzzlement as Eina turns sheepish.
"I apologize if I offended you Bell. It's just, a month for a level-up? When you've only been an adventurer for two weeks? That's impossible." Eina puts her hands together apologetically as Bell nods at her with an awkward smile.
"It's okay, I understand." I grin as Bell speaks.
"Want to bet?" I stare unflinchingly at Eina as she hesitates under my gaze.
"N-no. It would be bad conduct for a guild employee to bet with her clients." She looks away with a flush as I smirk.
Chicken~
"A-anyways, my co-worker told me that we need all the help at the front desk. If there is nothing else… I will be taking my leave." She gets up from her chair and quickly walks out of the room as Bell waves at her with a big smile.
"Um…" Bell turns to me as we rise and prepare to leave the booth.
"You were joking about me leveling up in a month, right?" Bell smiles wryly at me as I turn to him with my deadpan.
"Joke?" I answer him as I leave the booth, leaving him to stare at me incredulously and exasperatedly.
Before he could follow me out of the booth, I quickly look up at the roof and stare at something for a few seconds.
I smile slightly before my eyes narrow and I send out an invisible wave of Cursed Energy.
The source disappears after the wave crashes into it, and I nod with a satisfying feeling.
Must've given her a good scare with that. Good.
That's repayment for eavesdropping on our conversation. Fucking T-H-O-T.
If I don't let her have her daily fill of Bell she may just explode, so I have to sadly sacrifice my innocence and allow her to watch me for a bit.
Bell finally follows me out of the booth as we begin heading home.
Oh boy. Can't wait for Hestia's reaction once she finds out that her 'Bell' almost fucking died.
[Later… Hestia Manor]
"YOU WHAT?!" There it is.
"I-it's fine now Lady Goddess! I'm completely unhurt and we both made it out alive!" Bell tries to calm her down but is mostly unsuccessful as she glares at me.
"Michael! Answer for your crimes! You almost got my Bell hurt!" She jumps at me angrily and begins punching me Raiden style.
"I apologize, Lady Hestia. I intended to bring Bell briefly to the fifth floor before bringing him down. I did not think that Minotaurs, a level 2 monster that should not be anywhere near even the 12th floor, would suddenly arrive." My monotone voice makes her angrily punch more as I smile under my collar.
"That's no excuse! If you get my Bell hurt again I'll smack you to death!" She threatens 'menacingly' as Bell looks panicked.
"... It seems my goddess loves her other child a lot more than me. After all, I come back home hurt and she chooses to worry about him despite him being completely unhurt." I dramatically turn away and speak with a sad tone as Bell looks like he's about to pass out.
Hestia pouts at me and stops punching me as I continue looking away 'sadly'.
"Ffffffineeeee… I'm sorry Mikey…" Hestia gives me a begrudging hug as Bell breathes out a sigh of relief and I snicker.
"It's alright, Lady Hestia." I pat her on the back as she lets go of me while grumbling.
"So, how did you escape from the three Minotaurs after you forced Bell to run away?" Hestia turns to look at me curiously as I smirk, enjoying the way Bell pales.
"I did not escape. I fought them." Hestia did not need another word from me as she lunged at me and began strangling me once again.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU FOUGHT THEM?!" She screams bloody murder as Bell winces.
"I had no other option. So I fought them." I keep my tone even (barely) as Hestia begins shaking me viciously while attempting to strangle the life out of me.
"HOW THE HELL IS FIGHTING THEM YOUR LAST OPTION! RUN! HOW DID YOU NOT DIE IF YOU FOUGHT THEM?" I emotionlessly stare at her as she shakes me back and forth, enjoying this overdramatic scene as Bell facepalms in his corner.
"You see, Lady Hestia, when an adventurer fights something, they kill it, and it dies." My tone turns lecturing as I put my hands on her shoulders and stare her straight in the eyes.
"So I killed them, and then they died, then I left." She angrily vibrates in place as I continue my lecture, Bell looking at me in horror.
"I-..." She starts, but stops and takes a couple deep breaths.
"Calm… Must not murder my own child…" She begins muttering things to herself as Bell stares at her with mortification.
"Anyways, we're back early today and will be taking the day off to ensure we recover mentally and physically from the encounter. I trust that you have no issue with that, Lady Hestia?" Hestia reveals her bipolar nature once again as she does a 180 and happily jumps toward Bell and hugs the life out of him.
"Of course not! Let's quickly update your status so Bell and I can go out on a… d-date." I deadpan as Bell looks confused and oblivious while Hestia blushes deeply with steam coming out from her ears.
"I was originally planning to train with Bell to make up for the lack of dungeon diving today…" Bell's face pales and he quickly picks Hestia up and runs to her room.
"N-no can do! I need to go out with my goddess! Bye Mike!" Bell shouts out as Hestia blushes at being carried and gives me a thumbs up as I return it.
I let out some light chuckles as the door slams behind them and sink into the couch I'm sitting on as I begin thinking.
I originally thought that Bell reaches Level 2 in a month, but we're two weeks in and I only now realize that he hasn't gotten a single stat to 100 yet.
Is he really able to get his stats up to like 1000 something in two weeks, or did I mess something up?
I wasn't the biggest Danmachi fan, but I could swear his record was a month. Though maybe it was like a month and a week or something like that and they just said a month and that stuck.
In any case, if he does need more than two weeks, doesn't that mean that I should be able to level up way before he can?
Hell, I am VERY sure I can level up right now, which I won't, but I can.
I'm not sure what I should do now that I know that the timeline should stay the same, but I don't have enough IQ to actually give a fuck about anything until it comes.
Until then, I'll just keep killing.
"Mike! It's your turn now." Bell snaps me out of my thoughts as he leaves Hestia's room with a paper in his hand.
"Very well. Is that your status?" I get up from the couch and approach him as he happily hands me the paper with excitement.
"Yes! I made a lot of progress today, a lot more than usual! Lady Goddess said that it was because I ran so much from the monsters but… progress is progress right?" He rubs the back of his head with embarrassment and I nod as I look at the paper.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Name: Bell Cranel
Race: Human
Level: 1
Ability Scores:
STR: I- 28 — 51
END: I- 25 — 43
DEX: I- 39 — 78
AGI: I- 46 — 89
MAG: I- 0
Magic:
[]
[]
[]
Skills:
K-n—o- -k-—u-
…
"Is that a skill of some sort that you've attained?" I ask with furrowed brows, confused about why the letters have K in them. Liar Phase or whatever doesn't have a k in it.
"Oh… No, Lady Goddess said that it's just a small mistake she did." His smile turns a little sad as I pat him on the head.
"No worries, Bell. You'll get one sooner rather than later. Great job on the progress you did today." He perks up a little and regains his cheerful smile as I hand the paper back to him.
"Make sure to throw this into the fire. Revealing your status to others is bad." This reminds me, Hestia needs to go learn from Hephaestus how to hide or lock the status on people's backs. Would be bad if Riveria revealed my or Bell's status if he got naked like last time.
"Yes! Good luck to you Mike!" Bell gave me one last smile before moving to the fireplace as I headed towards Hestia's room.
As I enter, I look at the sight of my goddess happily hugging herself while drooling, clearly pleased with something.
This makes me stop.
Shouldn't she be angry that Bell has a crush on Ais or whatever?
A feeling of dread forms in the pit of my stomach as I enter the room and lock it behind me.
"Hestia. What is the skill Bell got?" I force seriousness into my voice as Hestia snaps out of her stupor and looks away from me while whistling.
"It's nothing! I just made a little mistake." I deadpan at her as her whistling intensifies.
"You do not simply 'make little mistakes' in a status. I need to know Bell's skill so that I can keep it in mind in case it has some bad effect on it." Hestia looks hesitant after I say this, but she eventually sighs with resignation.
She takes out a paper hidden under her bed sheets and hands it to me as I walk to the side of her bed and take it.
"I knew you would know that something was wrong and that you'd demand to see the skill so I made a copy in advance. Stupid annoying child." She puffs her cheeks with a pout as I pat her on the head and look at Bell's sheet.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Name: Bell Cranel
Race: Human
Level: 1
Ability Scores:
STR: I- 28 — 51
END: I- 25 — 43
DEX: I- 39 — 78
AGI: I- 46 — 89
MAG: I- 0
Magic:
[]
[]
[]
Skills:
Kinēshon Kikuro:
Denial of Reality. The user experiences extreme growth as long as they are working towards the reality they desire. The more they struggle to attain their desired reality and the more they reject their undesired one, the higher the effect.
…
I stare at the skill speechlessly for a few moments, ignoring the way Hestia is squirming on the bed at my complete lack of snark.
I'm… speechless right now I guess.
So… good news, he still has a development ability. Or I guess not a development ability but an ability that boosts his growth since development abilities are a separate thing.
Bad news, what the fuck is this?
Wait, I'm the one that gave him that speech about denying reality wasn't I? I swear to god if Bell turns out to have some form of a crush on me after I worked so hard on my Big Brother image I am going to be so fucking pissed.
Also, I'm not gay but when I am I'm only gay for Astolfo.
"Okay, what is wrong with you! Normally you would have said something snarky or annoying by now, but you're just staring at that paper with a complicated look in your eyes. What's going on?" Hestia grabs the paper from my hand and stares at me in concern as I look up (down) at her.
"It is nothing of concern, I am just worried about the repercussions of this skill on our future." True, just not in the way she thinks. I'm worried about what's going to happen if he doesn't have Lair's Freeze like in canon.
"It's not like you don't have the exact same skill, just one that works differently." She points out with half-lidded eyes as I raise my eyebrows.
"How confident are you that Bell can keep his mouth shut about this skill?" She turns sheepish and looks away as I smirk.
"That's why I didn't let him know about it and by extension, you. Or at least, I tried not letting you know." She rubs the back of her head with a grimace as I stare at her pointedly.
"Did you think that I wouldn't notice the sudden jump in growth from Bell?" She blushes slightly and throws a pillow at me as I catch it and yeet it back.
"Oof!"
"Anyways, I'm gonna probably have an explosive jump in stats since I fought those minotaurs. Don't scream. Am I understood?" She grumbles something but nods as she pushes the pillow away and allows me to lay down on the bed after taking off my top.
She sits on my back and begins doing her thing I feel a cold sting on my back and hear her gasp after a few seconds.
"Well, at least you didn't scream." A small smack on the back of my head is my answer as she grumbles again with annoyance.
"... You can level up. Hold on, I haven't done this before so let me remember how to level you up-" My eyes widen and I immediately push her off and get up, only to feel a searing heat on my back and groan as I fall back on the bed, a terrible pain overwhelming my brain.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU IDIOT?!" She yells out in outrage while quickly moving to sit back on me and placing a hand on my back with panic.
I groan as the burning recedes slowly and I feel Hestia's other hand smack me repeatedly on the head with actual force behind it.
Not that it actually hurts.
"Don't level me up without my consent. I'm not ready to level up yet you idiotic gremlin of a goddess." I move my head slightly to look at her and see her shocked expression at my straight-up insult.
I did always hit her with back-handed insults, so this must be a shock.
"W-w-w-w-WHAT!? What did you just call me!? Also why the hell do you not want to level up you IDIOT!?" She begins punching the back of my head with all of her strength as I snort.
"I haven't maxed out my stats yet. If I just level up now I'll be much weaker than if I waited a little bit to max them out. At least ask for my opinion before trying to do something with my body you perverted goddess." Her hits stop and I watch as her face grows blindingly red and her eyes widen in embarrassment and fury.
"P-P-P-PERVERTED!? YOU ARE ASKING FOR IT TODAY YOU STUPID CHILD!" Hestia is about to punch me aggressively again but a knock on the door stops her.
"Goddess? Mike? Is everything okay in there? I heard Lady Goddess scream and shout." I glare at Hestia as she bashfully looks away, still glaring.
"Y-yes! Everything is okay Bell! Sorry about that!" Hestia answers and I hear a sigh of relief.
"Okay! I'll be waiting outside." After that, footsteps are heard walking away from the door and Hestia breathes out a sigh of relief.
"Show me my status already you abusive goddess." I impatiently request as Hestia turns to me with narrowed eyes.
"You don't get to say anything after stupidly pushing me off while I was working on your falna. There's a reason you're supposed to stay completely still when we are working on your falna you stupid child!" She smacks me on the head one more time as I chuckle in amusement.
"I understand now. Was I going to explode or something like that?" She doesn't answer for a few seconds and I look back to see her gain a thoughtful expression before she shrugs.
"You'd probably just lose your falna and be crippled. I'm not sure. Anyways, don't do that again you irritating child!" I offer a small nod as I feel a paper being placed on my back and a finger tracing over it.
"Here. View your stupid status with your stupid growth rate you stupid child." The paper is placed into my view as I rise from my laying position (making Hestia fall) as usual.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Name: Michael Inumaki
Race: Human (Jujutsu Sorcerer)
Level: 1
Ability Scores:
STR: E- 422 — B- 784
END: D- 598 — S- 955
DEX: E- 453 — A- 862
AGI: E- 480 — A- 899
MAG: B- 769 — SS- 1001
Magic:
Cursed Speech:
This magic allows the user to infuse their words with cursed energy to improve the spirit of their commands, forcing all those who hear it to obey.
[]
[]
[]
Skills:
Cursed Energy Manipulation:
The ability to gather, channel, and release Cursed Energy. The greater the Negative energy present, the more energy can be channeled and gathered.
Privative Gathering:
Increased Excelia gained from the gathering of Cursed Energy.
…
"Hmm. Slightly more than I was expecting." Hestia looks at me with exasperation, already used to be my reaction to my status.
"Less than I was expecting for Magic though." Nevermind, she facepalmed.
No one can predict me bitch! I'm the wildcard.
"... I hate you so much…" She grumbles through her hand as I smirk.
"Why so serious?"
I move away from the projectile pillow and start wearing my clothes.
"Anyways, you and Bell can have fun on whatever you're doing. Your curfew is… 9. If you are not back by then I will be razing Orario down until I find you." Hestia looks like she's going to complain but quickly pales at the last part and nods seriously.
"Yes sir! We'll be back before dusk, promise!" She salutes me seriously as I nod my head with satisfaction.
"Anything you do to Bell while out there I'll do to you." I threaten and Hestia looks at me weirdly before nodding again.
"Yes sir!" I nod one last time and leave her to change in her room as I exit and head to my own room.
Time to do some epic gamer moments.
…
…
[The Next Day…]
I patiently wait for Bell outside of our manor while tapping my foot lightly against the pavement, humming quietly as I look around.
It's very early right now so the streets are pretty empty. I can spot some Hephaestus familia blacksmiths leaving their homes and heading to their forges and every once in a while some random folk with bloodshot eyes begins heading to the market district.
Loser. Just get soundproofing you doofus.
Shaking my head. Sheep. This world is full of SHEEP.
I turn to our manor door just as Bell exits the door and makes his way toward me with his usual bright smile and happy wave.
"Good morning Mike!" He greets me cheerfully as I smile slightly.
"Good morning to you too, Bell. Are you prepared for today?" He excitedly nods and I see an eager look in his eyes.
Jeez. You almost died yesterday. How brainwashed by Zeus's hero bullshit are you?
"Yes! Which floor will we be heading to today?" I make a show of sighing as Bell sheepishly rubs the back of his head.
"We will be going to the third floor. If you do well enough I will allow us to spend our last hour in the dungeon on the fourth floor. Am I understood?" Bell looks slightly bummed out that we aren't going down to the fifth floor again, but pipes up after he hears that we're going down to the fourth floor.
"Yes! I will also follow all of your orders till the last letter this time!" He salutes again and I chuckle quietly.
"Great. Follow me." We depart from our front porch and begin walking through our normal path to the Tower of Babel.
Specifically, the path that passes by a certain important pub…
We silently walk together in companionable silence with Bell following behind me closely and looking around everywhere in wonder while I look around everywhere vigilantly.
About halfway down our normal path, a voice suddenly calls out to us.
"Excuse me, I believe you dropped this!" The sound of a young woman stops Bell and me as we turn around to face the offender.
Yes. It's an offender.
Because, as I look at the beautiful grey-haired woman in a maid uniform holding a magic stone, I recognize her to be Freya!
Or at least some clone magic Freya person I think.
I think she's like Freya's shadow clone or something.
I only know this because of that one time I looked at the Danmachi Reddit.
"Ah! I was sure I exchanged all of my magic stones yesterday… Thank you so much." Bell takes the offered Magic Stone and bows to Freya (or Syr here) as she blushes slightly and gives a bashful smile.
"It's no problem. I noticed that you dropped it while walking and I thought it was only right to give it back to you. You are adventurers, right?" I see Bell blush a little at her bright smile and I smirk.
My boy is building his harem. Go, you little harem anime protagonist!
"W-well… Thank you then. And yes, we are adventurers." He puffs his chest out slightly before he bows again.
She returns the bow before making an expression of realization.
"Oh, have you two had breakfast today yet?" She suddenly asks and Bell blinks in confusion before shaking his head.
"Okaka." (Fish Flakes) I shake my head as she tilts her head in confusion but nods anyway.
"Oh! Then, here. Wait one second." She quickly enters the pub named 'The Hostess of Fertility' and comes back out a minute later with two bento boxes.
Or lunch boxes. I don't know what's inside these.
I think they were sandwiches?
Wait, two boxes? She's getting me one as well? Why?
Hmmm… Maybe she doesn't want Bell to feel like I'm being excluded, so she's bringing me one as well.
Wait, since when did the horny thot bitch care about such things?
HMMMMM… Suspicious…
Sus. Amogus.
"Here, it may not be much but it wouldn't be good if you went into the dungeon with an empty stomach." She hands the boxes to Bell whose eyes widen and a blush takes over his face.
"W-we can't accept this! Isn't this your breakfast?" He tries to hand it back but she pushes it back with a 'fierce' glare.
"Well, you have to accept it! If it makes you feel better about taking it, then just come to the Hostess tonight and visit me as repayment. Okay?" She insistently pushes the boxes into Bell's hands and he takes it with a resigned expression before turning determined.
"Okay! We'll take this but we'll make sure to visit this evening. Is that okay Mike?" Bell turns to me with his puppy-dog eyes, or I guess bunny-rabbit eyes as I deadpan at him.
"Shake." (Salmon) I nod as he beams at me happily before turning to the confused Syr who has no idea what I just said.
My goals are beyond your understanding.
"Then it's settled. We'll see you soon miss…" Bell blinks and then blushes when he realizes he hasn't even learned Syr's name.
"Ah. My name is Syr Flova, nice to meet you." She blushes once she realizes she hasn't introduced herself either and bows to Bell.
"Nice to meet you, Miss Syr. My name is Bell Cranel. The person behind me is Inumaki Michael, my Familia Captain." Bell bows back to Syr as they once again engage in intense bowing activities while I watch them with a deadpan.
"... Bell, we have a dungeon to get to. Flirt later tonight." Both of them light up like a Christmas tree as Bell tries to sputter anything but fails out of sheer embarrassment.
"Thank you for your kindness, Miss Flova. We will be off now." I turn to face her specifically as she blushes slightly and nods.
"Syr! What are you doing outside?! We've got preparations to do, get in here now unless you want me to dock your pay!" Someone calls out to Syr just as I speak causing her eyes to widen.
"I have to go back to work now, make sure you visit tonight as you promised! Goodbye!" She bows one last time and runs back into the pub as Bell turns to me with a pout.
"I see that one crush on a girl is not enough for you, is it?" His face becomes scandalized with a giant blush.
"W-w-what? THAT'S NOT IT!?" He loudly exclaims as everyone in the street stares at him weirdly and I begin walking away as if I don't know who it is.
"WAIT! MIKEY! THAT REALLY IS NOT HOW IT IS!" He cries out after me as I continue walking away
Ehe~
[Small Timeskip]
"Awareness, Bell." I remind him once again as my spear impales a Dungeon Lizard that was about to fall on him.
He turns around in confusion and then looks up only to widen his eyes in surprise.
"O-oh! Sorry, Mike. I'll try to have more awareness." He looks at me with a determined face as I just nod.
We've been in the dungeon for a few hours now and will probably be heading out soon. Nothing really of note has happened considering we're just on the fourth floor with only 3 different monsters even capable of spawning.
I've mostly been covering for Bell as he fights his way through the monsters. I allow him to take little hits but block anything that could seriously injure him.
If I don't gain much progress in a day because of this, I just head into the dungeon at midnight for a couple hours before going back. Usually works like a charm.
I watch as Bell rushes at a mixed group of Kobolds and Goblins, slicing and dicing through them with ease probably thanks to his major increase in strength from yesterday.
I hum contemplatively as Bell finishes the group of monsters and starts picking up their dropped monster stones and Drop Items.
I say Drop Items because Edias decided that she loves us and now every monster in floors I clear (currently 1-4) drop their Drop Items.
Good girl. She even does it for Bell!
She deserves all the wall pats in the world.
"You're still overextending, Bell. I understand the need to look cool while fighting but wasting your movements on dramatizing your attacks will simply make you look like a clown to anyone with a shred of fighting experience." Bell blushes and then pales at my words before nodding rapidly.
"I understand." I nod with satisfaction before making a show of looking at my wrist, where no watch can be found, and then looking back up at Bell.
"We will be heading back now. We've done enough for the day." I decide as Bell pouts but nods anyway as he sheaths his weapons.
I convinced him to use weapons akin to Tantos rather than the short daggers he used to have. I get the charm behind it in an anime but fuck allowing him to have such little range just for style points.
Tantos are cool as shit anyway so it's not like he complained much.
We begin heading down without many problems other than the occasional dungeon lizard falling onto our heads and group of Kobold/Goblin ambush attempts and eventually, we reach the first floor.
"Bell, wait for a second, I will try something." I call out to Bell as he stops and nods to me with a tilted head.
I walk to the nearest wall of the dungeon and pat it a couple times before leaning in to whisper.
"Hey, Edias, can you spawn a Jackbird for me? I'm running a bit low on cash and I'd rather we have a couple million on hand." I rub the dungeon walls with a smile as Bell looks at me like I'm a maniac.
I feel the dungeon shift next to me and nothing happens for a few moments before a giant sphere of Cursed Energy gathers next to me and slowly compresses into a smaller sphere while coming closer to the wall.
I see… Jackbirds were made as a way for the dungeon to get rid of a ton of Cursed Energy from its system for a while considering how they have level 2 almost 3 speed and are taboo to be hunted by anyone above level 1.
Guess we know who the only supplier of Jack Bird Eggs is gonna be from now on. Ehe~
The Concentration of Energy eventually compresses into a much smaller ball and rushes into the wall as a bird-like creature begins breaking out and falling.
"Sleep." I order and it immediately falls to the ground, unconscious.
I begin infusing it with a ton of Cursed Energy under Bell's incredibly shocked gaze and baffled expression.
Silence ensues between us as I continue infusing the Jack Bird for a while until I see it start to twitch.
"... WHAT!?" He decides to eventually say just as I stab the Jack Bird and take its Golden Egg.
"Quiet, Bell. Did I teach you to be so loud in the dungeon?" I turn to glare at him while putting the Golden Egg away making him turn sheepish for a second before his gaze returns to confusion and shock and he points his index finger at me.
"How did you do that? I thought you told Lady Goddess that you couldn't make monsters!" He should be so glad that no adventurer is near us and that Freya isn't watching us right now or I would give him the ass-whooping of a lifetime.
"Bell. Quiet. Now." His face turns paler than the surface of Antarctica as he quickly and rapidly bows at me in apology.
Damn. I can feel the wind move intensely from how fast he's bowing. He should use that as an attack.
"S-sorry… but… how did you do that?" He eventually asks after bowing for the 100th time.
"I didn't do it, Edias did." I pat the dungeon walls as I feel them shift. Probably in happiness? It's a hit or miss when it comes to reading positive emotions with me.
"... You mean the dungeon?" Bell's jaw drops as I nod and continue petting the dungeon walls.
"Yep. Edias is such a good girl, aren't you?" I turn to face the dungeon as Bell's jaw drops even further.
"It's a girl!?" He quickly wilts once I turn to him with narrowed eyes.
"Yes. Though you're not allowed to try anything with her, Bell Cranel. You will not be adding Edias to your harem." Bell stares at me with so much horror I almost believed he saw a ghost.
"W-w-w-w-what? I don't have a harem?! W-well… not yet…" I grin widely at the last part and Bell notices that I heard the last part and looks down in embarrassment.
"Well, once you get your harem, Edias is off-limits." I watch him put his face into his hands and groan and I feel a slight tinge of amusement coming from the dungeon.
Huh, glad she's on board the tease Bell train.
"Please stop talking about my non-existent harem…" Bell pleads with a begging voice as I smirk.
"Non-existent? Nonsense. You already have a couple potential members. Just work hard and you'll get there." I advise him wisely as he groans and lets out a noise that sounds like a dying… rabbit.
"Stop…" He begs once again.
"Very well, I shall stop. For now. Now, we have everything we need. Let's go and cash this in before celebrating at your new harem member's pub." He groans in pain as I smile and begin moving to exit the dungeon.
We don't take long to reach the exit and I bid Edias farewell, feeling the little sadness emanating from her once I'm out of the dungeon.
Bell looks at me with resignation as we make our way to the guild.
"So um… What is Edias…? How do you know… her." He eventually asks as we walk.
"You are already aware of what she is. I help her out with a bad problem she is experiencing, and in return she helps me every now and then." I answer without saying anything obvious just in case someone overhears us in the crowds.
Bell gets the hint and nods without saying anything.
"Well, isn't she… umm… bad…? She… does a lot of bad things… right?" Bell was probably gonna say something like 'She kills Adventurers' but didn't want to risk it.
"She is merely a little quirky." A small smile tugs on my lips as Bell looks at me with confusion.
"Just as she does bad, she also does good. Does she not supply us with Magic Stones and Item Drops that make up about 90% of the world's economy?" Bell tilts his head in contemplation for a second before hesitantly nodding.
"I… see. So… can you ask her to make- um… do the thing it- she did earlier again?" He asks and I see him look at the pouch with the Golden Egg with a nervous look.
"Greed is a terrible sin, Bell. Do not fall for it. I will only ask for her help when I need it. Though… now that I think about it, Bell." I turn my head to look at him seriously as he stiffens and straightens his back.
"If you are ever in trouble in the dungeon, specifically with people, and I'm not there, ask Edias for help. Am I understood?" Bell looks at me like I'm crazy and I turn my serious stare into a glare as he gulps.
"Y-yes. I'll do that if I'm ever in trouble." I smile and nod before turning to face the road ahead of me.
"... Um.. Do you know why Edias creates… you know…?" He doesn't outright ask, but I understand what he's asking.
Why does Edias create monsters?
Just as I go to answer, I feel as if we're being watched from above familiarly.
I quickly look up to glare at the source.
"Not now." I send a wave of Cursed Energy at the energy watching us as it dissipates from the impact alongside my own Cursed Energy.
Bell looks at me weirdly but nods his head nonetheless, probably thinking that I meant him when I said that.
Oh well. Less explanation for me to do.
We make our way through the streets and eventually enter the guild and spot Eina at her counter where she usually is.
"Miss Eina!" Off Bell goes to get his first Elf harem member.
She looks up from some papers she was probably working on to look at Bell as a smile finds its way to her face.
"Bell. It's good to see you well. Did everything go well today?" She puts the papers on her counter away and gets up from her seat while speaking to Bell.
"Yes! Today was amazing! I fought a lot of monsters today, and despite being a little hurt, Mike made sure I wasn't too badly hurt while instructing me on how to improve the entire time!" Bell excitedly explains to Eina as she exits her little counter area and walks face to face with Bell.
"Did he now? Thank you for keeping Bell safe then, Michael." Eina smiles at me with gratitude as I tilt my head and shrug.
"He's my familia member. He's my duty, Miss Eina." I simply state as Eina nods happily.
"Please, call me Eina. If I call you Michael then it's only fair you get to use my first name as well." I nod without saying anything and Eina leads us to our usual private booth.
Privileges of being with the Main Character I guess.
Living the gangster life out here.
We enter the booth as Bell continues narrating our dungeon dive today cheerfully.
"-and then Mike decides that I did good enough to go down into the fourth floor so head down and-" Bell immediately clamps his mouth shut as a menacing aura envelops the room completely.
It was aimed at me.
I non-committedly turn to the source, looking at a glaring Eina without much care.
"Michael. What were you thinking bringing Bell down to the FOURTH FLOOR?" She slams the table harshly and Bell jumps a little in fear.
"Probably something along the lines of 'okay, I will bring Bell down to the fourth floor.' I guess." I answer in complete seriousness as Bell looks at me in amazement at my sheer gall.
Eina's gaze turns downright murderous as her lips twitch upward into a very dangerous smile.
"You think you're funny, do you?" I see Bell shivering in his chair as I smirk.
"(Bitch,) I'm hilarious." I reply in my monotonous voice as Bell looks at Eina in fear.
"I see… It would be a shame if I were to reveal that my client had come into possession of a Jack Bird Golden Egg recently." Eina smirks dangerously at me as I raise my eyebrows and smirk right back.
Bell sweats as he looks between the both of us.
"First of all, you're not that type of person so I will be calling your bluff. Second of all, that's misinformation." Eina blushes slightly at the first part but then turns confused at the second part.
"I've come into possession of TWO Jack Bird Golden Eggs." I announce as I take out the other Golden Egg under Eina's disbelieving gaze and dropped jaw.
"T-that… A-another? T-the same size…? Oh-" She…
She faints.
Bell looks at the fainted Eina in her chair and then turns to look at me incredulously.
"Mike. Please teach me your skills." He gets up and does a 90-degree bow at me as I choke.
"Bell… Please raise your head before I smack it with my spear." He quickly straightens himself and moves away from me with fear as I continue. "My skills are ones that cannot be so easily learned. Are you prepared to sacrifice everything for the chance to evolve from a mere simp to an Alpha Chad?" I cringe slightly at my words but go through with it anyways for the memes as Bell's eyes sparkle.
"Yes, Sensei!" He replies cheerfully as a different dangerous aura fills the room leading Bell to pale significantly.
"First of all, never say anything like 'Sensei' 'Senpai' or any of that idiotic nonsense or else I'll skin you personally. The only thing you're allowed to say is 'Aniki' and it's to me." I watch him nod rapidly with a pale face and I nod in satisfaction as my aura disappears.
"W-what!?" Eina suddenly shoots up from her chair just as my aura disappears and looks around in a panic before spotting us.
"Welcome back to the land of the living, Eina. You decided that you wished to partake in a little nap." My words make her blush deeply in embarrassment before she locks eyes with the Golden Egg again.
"W-Wait… That's…" She stares at it for a few moments before her eyes roll to the back of her skull and she faints again back into her skull.
"..."
Bell stares at me with a wry look as I shrug.
"Wake Up." I order as Bell's eyes widen.
Nothing happens for a few seconds until Eina suddenly groans and gets up from her chair, looking around the room once again and locking eyes with me.
"Third time's the charm I suppose. Would you like to take another nap, Eina?" She blushes for the twentieth-something time in the last hour before rolling her eyes and looking at the Golden Egg with dead fish eyes.
"... How…?" She turns to look me straight in the eyes as my gaze becomes less lax and a lot more serious.
"... You see…" I start, dramatically.
"The dungeon… is my bitch." Eina's eyes widen and Bell covers his ears in shock.
Oops. I corrupted him with my swear.
"Bell, do not repeat that word. It's a nono word that you shouldn't say." I quickly turn to Bell and instruct him seriously as he blushes in indignation while Eina stares at where Bell is with horror.
"How could you subject Bell to that type of language!?" She demands and moves to hug Bell's head making him blush like the insides of a watermelon again.
That's 3 girls, Bell. You got this little bro!
"Y-you guys are being ridiculous! I… I know swear words!" We both gasp in shock as Bell lets out another sound of indignation.
"Bell. Who taught you those so-called 'swear words'." I take out my spear and let out a menacing aura as Bell blushes and Eina stares at him with serious eyes.
"Tell us who it is. We just want to talk." She raises her glasses as it glows and hides her eyes, anime style.
That's pretty cool, I should try that.
"Guuuuuys… Please! I'm not a child." He whines in embarrassment as Eina pats him on the head.
"Sure, you are not a child Bell. Now, who taught you those 'bad words'?" She asks again as Bell groans.
"Stoooooooop!" He pushes Eina away lightly and runs out of the booth while hiding his face in his hands.
We watch him leave and then slowly turn to each other with smirks.
"It's too easy." She states and I nod.
"Fun, too." I add and she enthusiastically nods.
"I approve, by the way." I inform her as she looks at me in confusion.
"You know… Bell." She realizes what I mean and blushes an unnaturally deep crimson with her mouth slightly open and steam coming from her head.
"W-WHAT!? N-no! It's not like that…" She blushes and sputters even harder as I keep my even expression on her.
"Just- Shut up! Now give me that so I can exchange it!" I hand her our pouches and Golden Egg with a smirk which she probably senses considering the way she's grumbling.
"Please buy another one of those bags of holdings with the earnings, Eina." Eina gives me the stink-eye but nods anyway and walks out of the room.
Jeez. I don't see why she's so angry.
[Small Timeskip 2: Electric Boogaloo!]
I walk in amiable silence alongside Bell as he does everything in his power to not look anywhere near me and the sheer amount of embarrassment emitting from him could fill an ocean.
After getting our earnings from Eina and being threatened with fuck-all if I bring another Golden Egg, I headed out of the guild and picked up the flustered Bell on my way.
It's dusk right now and basically almost night so we're heading to the Hostess to fulfill our contractual obligation with Syr and then going home.
Though it's less contractual and more attractual with Bell.
We also dropped by the Guild baths to clean up and change into something not ruined by the dungeon, less so for me since I literally wasn't hit, but I didn't mind the shower.
As we near the Hostess of Fertility, I finally decided to address the elephant in the room and I glance at Bell.
"Are you certain that you are capable of meeting your newest girlfriend the way you are right now?" He puts his hands on his face and groans loudly as I chuckle.
"Please… I can't take any more of this…" That's what she said.
I nod to myself at my amazing and mature sense of humor as Bell glances at me in fear of what's to come.
"You will need to learn how to keep going even if you have nothing left in you if you ever want to make that harem a reality, Bell." I speak with complete seriousness but Bell still groans despite me giving him very sound advice.
"I don't have a harem…" He complains and I smirk.
"Not yet." I say as we enter the lively pub and are greeted by dozens of adventurers eating and drinking all around the nice interior of the pub.
Before I can inspect the pub, a very cheerful grey blur makes its way toward us before stopping right in front of us and taking each of our hands into one of theirs.
"You came! I was almost thinking you wouldn't with how long you kept me waiting!" Syr happily exclaims as Bell blushes at the lewd hand-holding activity.
Wait. Why is she holding MY hand?
Oh shit.
THE THOT IS AFTER ME! MEN! TAKE OUT THE HOLY WATER! UNSEAL THE HOLY HAND GRENADE!
I look behind me at the last rays of sunshine falling upon us before night overtakes us before incredulously turning to Syr.
"It only became evening seconds ago. We did not keep you waiting at all." She completely ignores me in favor of dragging us to the bar.
"There aren't many tables left and one is reserved so I hope you won't mind sitting at the bar table!" She looks back at us sheepishly as Bell continues blushing.
"N-no it's fine! It'd be weird if we got a table despite it being only us two anyways." No homo, my brother.
"Shake." I nod my head as Syr looks at me weirdly again before dropping us off at the barstools and then running off.
"Sorry, the place is a bit cramped so I have to work but I'll be right with you in no time!" She calls out before she's gone and Bell wryly smiles before sitting down.
I take my seat next to him and stare at the menu as he awkwardly fumbles around with his own menu, unsure of what to buy.
"Feel free to buy whatever you want, Bell. Today is a celebration and we have plenty of money. If the food is good enough we can even bring some back to our goddess." Bell perks up a little and begins happily browsing through the menu.
"Hahaha! Now that's what I like to hear!" A loud voice from in front of us startles Bell into dropping his menu with a squeak as I smile in amusement and look up at the owner of the pub.
"Name's Mama Mia! I'm the owner of this fine pub. So you're the two kiddos who Syr charmed into comin' here, eh?" She smirks at us as Bell blushes and I deadpan at her.
"She charmed Bell into coming here and made him drag me for the ride. Though that's close enough to the truth anyways." Bell turns to look at me in betrayal as Mia lets out a loud laugh.
"I see, you're a tough cookie then, eh? Syr not your type or somethin'?" She teasingly grins at me as I tilt my head.
"No. Also, sorry but Muscle Mommy is not one of my main kinks." Bell looks at me in confusion while Mama Mia's eyes widen in surprise before she lets out an even louder laugh.
"Hahaha! You're a fun one now, ain'tcha?" She quickly swipes the menus from both of our hands faster than I can see and slams two giant plates of food down in front of us. "Don't worry 'bout choosin' from the menu, I'll just keep the food comin' till you can't eat no more, and when that happens, I'll feed you more!" She lets out another loud laugh and walks away as Bell stares at the ginormous plate in front of him in apprehension.
"Eat as much as you like, but don't force yourself." I instruct him with an amused tone as he gulps and nods with a small smile.
"Miss Mia, get me a water and Bell some orange juice please." I call out to her and get a thumbs-up while Bell pouts at me from the side.
"I'm not a kid! Why are you ordering juice for me." I look at him with a raised eyebrow and he looks away with a blush.
"You are not going anywhere near alcohol until you are 30 at the least." He turns to me with an aghast expression and I look back at my food with a smirk.
I have learned the secret Inumaki art of eating with my Collar still zipped up so my face Seal is still hidden.
Bell and I eat for a few minutes while talking about random things every now and then before I suddenly feel very silent footsteps approaching us accompanied by a giant amount of Cursed Energy as I tense I quickly turn around to see-
Ryuu Lion, the contester of #1 Danmachi waifu according to the fandom.
And also the dude that kinda wiped out a shit ton of Evilus people or something. That part isn't as important.
We make eye contact and her eyes widen very slightly when I sense her approach making me curse myself for being so paranoid.
Of course the walking ball of mental illnesses and trauma is accompanied by a shit ton of Cursed Energy. I just didn't notice because this entire fucking city is overflowing with it and sitting on an infinite source of it!
We lock eye contact for a few seconds before I offer her a nod of apology and look away.
I blink as some water is placed on the table in front of me alongside a glass of orange juice next to Bell.
I turn to face her again as her emotionless expression greets me coldly.
"... Here is your water and orange juice. My name is Ryuu Lion, a waitress at this establishment. If you need anything then just simply call out for me." She speaks expressionlessly as Bell's eyes widen before he stares at me and then at her and repeats the process.
"... Michael Inumaki. Thank you very much." I answer her with a slight nod as Bell sweatdrops next to me.
"M-my name is Bell Cranel, and thank you for the juice…?" She nods to him and turns to face me again with narrowed eyes.
"Why did you turn to look at me?" She asks with a slight edge in her tone as I grimace.
"... Your footsteps are unnaturally silent, I felt their approach and expected the worst. I did not expect someone working as a waitress here to be the one with the quiet footsteps." I slowly explain as her eyes widen again minuscule and she nods.
"I see. I apologize if I made you uncomfortable, then." She bows her head slightly as Bell looks at her and then back to me with confusion.
"No, it is my fault for being so on guard while sitting here. I simply cannot help but stay alert when I am with him here. You never know what could appear at any time." I incline my head down as an apology as (once again) widens her eyes slightly and nods.
"That is a respectable trait to have, one that will serve you well in your adventuring career." She compliments and I smile slightly.
"Thank you. I apologize for offending you, Miss Lion." She shakes her head negatively as I bring my head back up.
"It was of no issue. Would you mind if I sit next to you for a few moments, Mr. Inumaki?" I tilt my head in confusion before gesturing for the free seat with my hand.
"Feel free to. I do not have any ownership over it, I don't think. " I smirk slightly under my collar and I see a hint of a very small smile on her lips.
Or I'm just imagining things. Elf moment.
Why is she trying to talk to me? Is it because Syr brought us here and she wants to make sure that I'm not a bad guy?
"Indeed. May I ask, Mr. Inumaki, what level are you?" Her question makes Bell freeze and I let out a silent sigh of frustration.
Don't be so obvious about it, dumbass!
"Please call me Michael. I have some… qualms with my family name." Mostly because I fucking stole it. "I am currently level one." Her eyes narrow a little at that.
"Very well, Mr. Michael. I find that a bit hard to believe, though. How long have you been an adventurer, if you don't mind me asking." Bell pales considerably and sneaks nervous glances at me as I struggle not to punch his dumb head in.
"I registered myself in the guild half a month ago, more or less." Ryuu's eyes widen as does Bell's at my admission.
"Mike…" Bell 'whispers' from beside me as I turn to deadpan at him, causing him to turn away with a blush.
"I see, and how long have you been fighting monsters?" I incline my head to act as if I was thinking, not really acting considering how I'm not too sure when Toge first fought a cursed spirit.
"Is this question any different from the last one?" I tilt my head slightly. Plan: Act dumb!
She narrows her eyes at me but doesn't say anything making me sigh.
"Ever since I was a child." That felt right, so I'll go with it.
Ryuu's eyes widen considerably before she schools her expression and turns away.
"... I see." Is all Ryuu says, and before any of us can say anything else, Syr appears!
"So sorry for keeping you waiting for so long! Oh! Ryuu! I see you've already met Michael and Bell." Syr sits right next to Bell, scaring the shit out of him as he was already on the verge of having a heart attack from this conversation.
"A-a-ah! I-it's no problem, S-Syr! I'm glad to see you've gotten a break from work." Bell stutters slightly at the start as I pointedly smirk at the back of his head, very sure that he can sense my amusement.
"It's good to see you as well, Syr. Yes, I've been acquainted with Mr. Michael and Mr. Cranel. Now that you are taking a break, I will have to go and help the others so that we are not missing two waitresses. Enjoy your break, Syr." She gets up from her chair next to me and ignores Syr's pout while turning to me.
"Thank you for your time, Mr. Michael. I hope you enjoy your food and drinks." I nod to her as she bows and walks away.
"Hmph. I can't believe she left right when I arrived. The nerve!" Syr continues pouting as Bell awkwardly laughs.
"I-I'm sure she has work to do, Syr. I wouldn't take it to heart…?" Bell sounds hesitant at the end as Syr giggles and lets her tongue out playfully.
"Yeah, Ryuu is a total workaholic. I know she doesn't mean anything by it but it's still mean." I slightly smile as I watch Bell bicker with the clone of the thot, feeling like I'm forgetting something.
"Guess who's finally arrived, losers! Get all yer alcohol out because we're drinking it all today!" A loud and obnoxious voice suddenly sounds out across the entire pub as everyone quiets down and turns to look at the person who spoke.
It is a red-headed flat-chested woman with closed eyes and a ponytail wearing tomboy clothing consisting of jeans and a half-shirt that shows her stomach. This is the Goddess of the Loki familia, Loki.
Behind her are the executives and main members of the Loki familia, consisting of the big 3, Nine Hells Riveria, Braver Finn, and Elgarm Gareth. There are also the two Amazonian sisters, Tione and Tiona, as well as Bete Logia, the resident Werewolf. Lastly, there was Lefiya Viridis, Riveria's disciple, and Ais Wallenstein, the Sword Princess.
Everyone in the pub stared at the Executives (and Lefiya, L) in awe as they entered the pub like they owned the place and sat on the only empty table in the middle of the place.
"Woah… are those?-"
"Yes, you idiot! Look away quickly…"
"Woah… Is that the sword princess?"
"So this is the Loki familia…"
Many began speaking in hushed voices as the Loki Familia members took their seats and began being served food and drinks.
One of the members there stands up and makes a small toast before the group begins eating and drinking with fervor, reminding the adventurers around the pub that they also have their own food and drinks.
I turn away from them and look at Bell and Syr, watching the former stare at a certain person in the group with a huge blush while Syr stares at him with a pout.
"Bell. You're staring." I smack him on the head as he quickly turns to me with an explosive blush and looks down to hide his face as Syr's pout turns into a teasing grin.
"It's a little rude to look at another girl when you're with another, you know." Syr pokes Bell's side as he blushes and sputters.
"I-I wasn't- It's not-..." He slams his face into his hands and groans as Syr and I chuckle.
"They come here often?" I ask my question to Syr as Bell tries to make himself as small as possible next to me.
"They're regulars. Goddess Loki seems to like the place." Syr says after making a cute 'thinking' pose.
"I see." I notice Bell perk up a little at that and I look at him knowingly with a smirk.
"Yeah, Ais! Tell us that one story!" Bete Logia suddenly exclaims loudly as we turn to look at the table.
"You know the one! About those Minotaurs that got away! Remember, you finished off the last one on the lower fifth! You know: tomato boy!" He continues loudly and with a laugh as Bell freezes next to me.
I exhale a bit too deeply as I remember what comes next.
"Are you talking about the group of Minotaurs that attacked us on the lower seventeenth floor, and they ran away when we fought back?" One of the group asks as the werewolf nods with a grunt.
"Yeah, yeah! That one! By some miracle they ran up! We tore after them! Already damn tired, too!"
I turn to look at Bell as he slowly hides deeper into his chair with a pale face and a hurt expression.
My eyebrows furrow in anger as I watch this scene.
Fucking prideful werewolf fuck. He had some sort of sad backstory or something but that doesn't excuse being a massive dick and having a small one.
Insecure as fuck. Compensating for something, are ya?
Dumb Bitch.
"Yeah, and there! That 'adventurer'! Damn newbie kid got himself cornered like a lil' bunny! Shaking like one, too! Poor thing was about to explode!" The werewolf laughs alongside the others on the table while Ais, Riveria, and Finn all furrow their brows.
How the hell did this dickhead see that scene? He wasn't there with Ais, Riveria, and Finn when they found me.
Was he there to see that scene but split up with Ais to look for more Minotaurs? That might make a little sense but I don't remember sensing him with my Cursed Energy.
To be fair though, I was focusing on Bell the entire time to make sure he wasn't dying, and I was keeping an eye out while fighting 3 Minotaurs.
The entire pub has quieted down by now to listen in on the Loki Familia's story.
"What happened to the kid? Was he alright?" One of the amazonian sisters asks. I can't fucking remember which one of them it was.
Tiona maybe? Where's Shrek?
I tune out the rest of their talk and put my hand on Bell's shoulder to try and comfort him.
"Bell. Don't mind what he says. The weakest people are the ones who put down everyone around them so they aren't stuck at the bottom alone." I clasp his shoulder tightly as he glances at me and nods with a gulp, still extremely pale.
I feel someone looking at me and I glance at the Loki Familia's table and make eye contact with Riveria, whose eyes widen once she spots my glare.
"That's enough Bete! It's our fault for allowing those Minotaurs to escape into the higher floors. That boy had nothing to do with it. Now stop drinking so much and learn some respect!" She turns away from me and glares at the Werewolf as he clicks his tongue in annoyance.
"You're just saying that out of your stupid Elven Pride. What's wrong with calling trash trash? You're lying to yourself, saying that it's our fault that the Minotaurs scared the tomato kid. A weakling like him has no place in the dungeon." Bete tsks and slams his fist on the table while glaring at Riveria.
"Hey~ That's enough you two! Yer ruinin' my booze with your fighting!" Loki finally speaks as she throws an empty cup at Bete and tries (and fails) to touch Riveria.
Bete clicks his tongue again and looks away, turning to Ais with a smirk.
"Eh, Ais! What did you think about him, the pathetic piece of shit who was shaking in front of you? Do you think he deserves to stand at our level, as adventurers?" A small amount of my Cursed Energy releases, aimed at Bete as I glare at him.
Who the fuck does he think he is, calling people 'pathetic pieces of shit' just because they couldn't fight Minotaurs on floor 5?
Is he mentally fucking ill?
I see Riveria gesture something to Finn, and he looks up and turns in our direction before his eyes widen at finding me there.
"…I don't blame him for acting the way he did under those circumstances." Ais, bless her heart, continues defending Bell making him blush slightly despite still looking extremely hurt.
"Why are you acting all Goody Two-shoes? Okay then, I'm changin' the question. Him or me—who's got it going on?" The fucking dick continues his quest of dickery despite the atmosphere in the pub changing to an awkward and uncomfortable one.
"…Bete, are you drunk?" The other Amazonian sister asks.
"Shut it! Now, Ais! Choose! As a female, which male wags your tail? Which male makes you hot?" He slams the table again while glaring at the Amazon before turning to Ais.
"…I have no reason to answer that question, especially to you, Bete." Ais does her best impression of a glare as Bete tsks again.
"You're absurd…" Riveria stares at Bete with an angry frown.
"Quiet, hag!… Well then, what if that piece of trash came up to you, and said he liked you, would you take him?" Bete ignores everyone around him and focuses on Ais as she narrows her eyes.
What is this fucking dick saying? Is he so drunk that he doesn't realize that he's being a fucking dumbass?
This dude has no Rizz at all. Absolutely 0 play.
"…Hm." Is all Ais says.
"Of course you wouldn't! Why would a tiny kid who's so weak, feeble, and all-around nauseating have the right to even stand next to you? There's no way he'd measure up!" Bete slams the table for the third time, this time indenting a fist sizes hole in it as he smirks fiercely.
"A tiny kid could never land Ais Wallenstein!"
Bell stands up abruptly and runs to the door as fast as he can as everyone in the pub looks at the door after he leaves in silence.
I stand up myself as Syr looks at me worriedly, but I ignore her and move to the Loki Familia's table, specifically towards a certain werewolf.
All eyes turn to me as I slowly walk to the table and stop right next to Bete.
"If I may, compensating for your tiny dick by acting like a giant one is a terrible way to cover up your insecurities." I comment emotionlessly as his eyes widen in surprise and anger.
I lean in next to his ear and whisper.
"Blast Away." I command, and I feel my Energy Reserves be shredded apart as I almost go into mind down.
Thankfully, Bete freezes for a second before he suddenly blasts out of his chair and crashes into the pub door before flying off into the night as the Loki Familia all stare at me in shock.
"I apologize for disturbing your celebration." I turn to their table and bow. "Your dog was insulting my familia member. One that was only an adventurer for two weeks and had to fight a Minotaur at floor 5." My tone becomes slightly edged as they all shift uncomfortably under my words.
It's easy to dismiss that story as a funny thing when you don't know all of the details of the victim. A faceless victim is easier to dismiss than one you can see and understand.
"Thank you for defending Bell once again, Miss Wallenstein." I get up and nod to Ais before turning around and moving to the counter where a smirking Mama Mia is standing.
Everyone in the pub is staring at me in shock but I ignore them and stop in front of the counter.
"I apologize for destroying your door, Miss Mia." I take out three pouches and place them on the counter as her eyes light up with greed and she laughs.
"No problem boy. Just drop by the pub sometime to pay me back, alright?" Her grin turns even more greedy as I nod silently and take an offered bag from here, probably with our leftovers, then begin walking to the exit.
Just before I reach it though, I turn one last time to the Loki Familia.
"... Try to put a leash on your dog. Lest someone else finds him and decides to put him down. After all, a good rabid dog is a dead rabid dog." With those final parting words, I leave the pub and begin looking for Bell.
Though, I already know where he's gone.
…
[Christmas Special Omake!]
As Bell opens the door to his room, he finds a weirdly decorated box with a ribbon tied at the top sitting on his bed.
He picks it up and shakes it for a moment, hearing the sound of something rattling inside as he moves the box.
He shrugs and unwraps the present, finding a weird item inside with a note written on it.
"Merry Christmas from your favorite older brother~
Aim the front of this funny item at your face and press on the trigger at the bottom for a fun surprise!
Yours~
Michael Inumaki."
"Mikey? Okay…? What is Christmas though…?" He mutters out loud before doing as the note said and aiming the 'funny item' at his face before pressing the trigger.
A pink beam of light shoots out of the item and touches Bell's face as he drops the item in alarm while jumping back several feet.
"What the hell?- Wait… My voice!?" Bell screams out but finds his voice several notes lower than the already low it already was, and slightly feminine.
Bell slowly turns to look at the Mirror in his room and gasps in horror at what he sees.
Longer hair, a different body shape, two additions to his torso, and…
The lack of something in his pants.
"BELL! SAVE ME!" Bell hears his goddess scream out for him as he quickly snaps out of his horror and runs out of his room into a very peculiar scene.
His Goddess… is twenty times bigger and currently stuck in the door frame.
"BELL! THIS BOX SAID I'D BE TALLER IF I ACTIVATED THE ITEM INSIDE OF IT AND IT MADE ME A GIANT! I CAN'T GET OUT OF MY DOOR! SAVE ME!" Hestia screams out with her newly acquired large vocal cords as Bell winces.
"D-don't worry goddess! I'll get you out of there!" Hestia looks at Bell with widened eyes before realizing that he looks like a girl.
"BELL!? YOU WERE A GIRL THIS ENTIRE TIME? I KNEW IT!" Bell freezes in his tracks as he blushes crimson with an indignant expression.
"I'M A BOY! THIS IS BECAUSE OF THAT THING MIKEY GAVE ME!" He screams out in embarrassment as Hestia's eyes widened.
"MIKEY! HOW DARE YOU TAKE BELL'S THING AWAY!" Bell's jaw dropped as ominous laughter echoed through the halls.
"Bell…" A deep voice sounds out from another room as Hestia and Bell turn and look with dropped jaws.
A buff Lily with bulging muscles and several meters of height leaves her room and stares at Hestia and Bell. Her eyes look dead as she flexes her arms causing her bulging muscles to move and stretch.
"I got a box that said it would give me anything I wished for… I wished for strength… I became this." Her deep manly voice makes the duo shiver in revulsion.
""MICHAEL!"" Two screams of anger (and embarrassment for Bell's case) sound out from the Hestia Manor as a figure dressed in Red and White jumps through rooftops while throwing 'presents' at people from above.
"Hohoho!" The figure laughs loudly as it shoots a giant buff man with a pink laser, turning them into an absolute unit of a woman as they stare at themselves in shock.
The figure jumps away and continues terrorizing the streets with its 'presents' as people become either genderbent, enlarged, or turn into absolute beefcakes.
The figure jumps to the tallest building in the current district he's in before letting out one last laugh.
"Merry Christmas!" It shouts out loudly as its voice echoes through Orario.
From that day forwards… Christmas was one of the most dreaded events recorded in all of Orario's history.
…
…
Hello everyone! Sorry about the late chapter! I had 10k words done yesterday but my internet is being a lil bitch so I couldn't post anything so I decided to finish the pub event as well as add a little Christmas Omake for shits and giggles.
I got some criticism from someone about me going too fast with the pace of my story, so I hope that this chapter was slow enough to be enjoyable this time!
Other than that, Merry Christmas Everyone!
Time for the reviews!
Lots of reviews this time!
Tabernak thank you for your review and glad you're enjoying!
Anonymous, thank you for your review. Yeah, he wasn't aware that Freya is after him and he is still unsure if she's just acting nice to him to be closer to Bell or if she's genuinely interested in him.
Goteam, Thanks for your review. No, he cannot order himself with Cursed Speech. The full potential thing… maybe? But you have to remember that using the 100% power thing rips your muscles apart so if he does that on a friend, it would injure them. He can't do 'be blind' though. Maybe something like 'shut your eyes' but that would wear off quite quickly. Last thing, he cannot control emotions. So no 'Be Sad' or whatever.
Fulmedas thank you for your review. Glad to see you enjoying the story so far but you do need to remember that this is a Danmachi fic, so there will be romance eventually. Just letting you know now so you aren't disappointed later.
Tenz0 thank you for reviewing again, glad you enjoyed this chapter too!
Pieceofcake-22 thank you for your review. Yes. Kiss Dungeon Waifu.
Alabama47, an incredible name btw, thank you for your review. Glad you think so and I hope you continue enjoying it.
Walkmanapprenticewordsmith glad you're enjoying, thanks for the review!
Thank you Guest1 for your review. Happy to see you enjoy the bad life choices of Michael so far. I know he sure won't.
Thanks for your review, Guest 2. Dungeon is indeed a milf. Technically even a Gilf considering some monsters went to the surface and had children. Incredible waifu moment.
Guest 3, thanks for the review! You should watch JJK but I'm glad you watched this story even though you haven't already done so.
That's all for reviews! Thank you all for reading and if you enjoyed, Feel free to Favorite/Follow and review to share your thoughts. Bye Bye~
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See you all later!
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