Draco: You guys ever seen asdfmovie?
"Why, Draco, that seems like an awfully random point to start your topside author's comment on." Then obviously you haven't seen asdfmovie, and I suggest that you stop reading this Addendum right now and go check it out on YouTube. The entire premise of the series is 'random humor', and it single-handedly introduced me to the concept of #RapidFireComedy, at least as far as my ability to actually appreciate it went.
Last week, asdfmovie14 came out. A couple days later, I got the Muffin Song stuck in my head, went on a search, discovered that asdfmovie14 had come out, and binge-watched the entire series, just about. This, in the middle of my run through Unova. Naturally, being in a Pokémon mood in the middle of that, I started thinking about substitutions, and I realized that, with a little flexibility, every gag in that series - and just about everything that they referenced with certain gags in the series - could be satisfactorily substituted into the Pokémon world.
So I sat down and made a list of every gag in the series that uses an animal or a fruit, and substituted them in for Pokémon and Berries. And then I did a little picking around regarding gags that don't use animals or fruits but do use items that might merit substitution anyways, just for something that better serves in the Pokémon world.
...No, I didn't do the "dogs go dog dog" gag. If you go by the anime, it's not a joke. And I've never seen another Pokémon author that didn't use anime-style #PokémonSpeak. Sometimes it feels like I'm the only one who takes the games as my primary source.
But anyways, I sat down and made a list of substitutions like my last name was Munroe, and then I sat back and I looked at myself, and I was like "When am I ever gonna get the chance to use any of these?" And then I told myself, "You wrote a Final Fantasy Type-0 fanfic because you came up with an Orience version of the phrase fox in the in henhouse, you don't need an excuse". So while I was thinking of at least a basic outline to frame the joke so that I didn't just write a substituted script, I realized that I had a whole character layout and team for a certain someone that I never actually got around to sharing fully.
But I did bring it up at some point when I was laying out canon for this collection, so I might as well make an addendum out of it.
Pokémon and all related properties © Nintendo.
Driftveil City, Unova
"No, Suzie, don't walk on the road!"
"Look, Mom, I made it!"
CRUNCH!
Hilda had been about to comment when the foot descended, and she broke into a fit of giggles as it zoomed out (is 'zoomed out' the right word for 2D animation?) to reveal a familiar Aurorus. "I am an Aer-o-dactyl!"
"Jeez," she muttered. "He really doesn't pass up an opportunity to defy your expectations, does he?"
"Would it be half as funny if he did?" Nate argued.
Hilda pulled away a bit as she rolled her head on her shoulders; watching a series of videos on the screen of a Xtransceiver a friend is sharing with you is a good way to get a sore neck. "Fair."
The two of them were at the Pokémon World Tournament, having decided to enter the next event; however, there was a fair waiting period between their arrival and when registration would close, let alone the start of the first match, so they had decided to kick back on a bench outside and enjoy themselves. Their conversation had eventually turned to an animation series of which Nate was rather fond, and now they were watching it on his Xtransceiver - at least as best they could.
The next few gags went largely without comment, though many of them earned at least a giggle. One, however, started with a zoom-in on a Leppa Berry with a badly-drawn face on it, distinct from the faces of human characters in the animations... and then a voice that sounded like an adult male trying to imitate a child. "Hey, Leppa! Leppa!"
"Oh, good Alpha," Hilda muttered, turning away from the screen as it cut to a similarly poorly-faced Oran Berry.
"No, watch it to the end," Nate scolded.
Hilda forced herself to look back at the screen in time to see the animation cut out to a child kneeling before the Berries, with a man and woman standing behind him. "Leppa! Leppa! Hey Leppa!"
"Well, we failed." The man - who Hilda assumed to be the child's father - abruptly raised a long figure, which Hilda realized was a shotgun when he pumped it, aiming the barrel down in the child's direction. "Don't look, honey."
Hilda broke into a loud laugh as the static cut to the next gag. "Oh, wow," she forced out. "A little harsh, don't you think?"
"Is it really, though?" Nate argued.
"No," Hilda admitted. "It's really not."
"Hello, Mine Squirtle."
"Hello!"
Hilda was left wondering who was going to set this one off... for about half a second (the gags rarely lasted seven seconds total), before a familiar interruption appeared. SUDDENLY, PINAP BERRIES! The man and the Mine Squirtle were surrounded by oversized Pinap Berries... and then one descended from above, landing right on the Mine Squirtle's button to blow them both up. "That Mine Squirtle is just too damn cute," she proclaimed.
"Powerful little Water-type that knows Explosion," Nate argued, "and you call it cute?"
"Hey," Hilda argued, "you said you've never met an Agent of Victory, you don't get to comment about whether something can be both cute and powerful."
The next gag seemed to be the last one, with the credits starting to roll against a color-inversion of the last shot... until a familiar tenor emerged from the screen. "Hey, you know who's gay?" It was always pleasantly surprising (well, pleasant aesthetically, at least) when the series revisited an old gag; the original version of this confrontation had been in the first installment, and the quality of the animation - proportions, fluidity, and 'camera' - had all differed greatly from the more recent ones. The fact that this version of the confrontation was no downgrade from the gags that had preceded it was proof that the animation hadn't been simply recycled, though the voice acting might have been...
...at least, so Hilda thought, until it briefly cut to an outdoor altar, with both men in suits, and the 'aggressor' wearing a top-hat. "Us."
"Would it kill him to just roll the credits?" Hilda mused.
"No comment on the joke itself?" Nate observed. "You seemed kind of offended at the original."
"I mean, how many years between the original and this one?" Hilda argued. "Might be he just changed his views on it."
Nate went to load up the next video and double-took. "Wait, you mean...?"
Hilda chuckled awkwardly, turning away... and something caught her eye. "Hey, is that Red?"
Nate rolled his eyes, following her gaze - whereupon he realized she was serious. "Wait, that is Red!"
Red was in fact approaching the entrance to the PWT dome, accompanied by a girl in a hat that looked like a Premier Ball (in contrast to Red's cap, which was more like the crimson top half of an ordinary Poké Ball). The girl was looking around the stands in amazement, it clearly being her first time in Driftveil; Red, a frequent participant, did nothing more than keep his pace to hers until Nate's "Hey, Red!" reached his ears, causing him to turn with pleasant surprise on his face.
"Oh, hey," the girl greeted as they got near. "These friends of yours, Red?" The Kantonian shrugged with a smile, causing the girl to giggle. "Not gonna introduce me?"
Red reached for his cap and lowered it to cover his face.
Hilda rolled her eyes. "Strong and silent as ever, I see," she taunted. Then, offering her hand to the girl. "I'm Hilda."
The girl took the offered hand as Nate set a hand on his chest. "Name's Nate."
"Leaf," the girl returned. "Nice to meet you both." Then, turning to Red. "So that's how you know each other."
"Oh, you've read Cynthia's book?" Nate mused.
"As late as the VIIth Edition, anyways," Leaf admitted.
"I don't think she's published the VIIIth, yet," Nate observed.
Hilda glanced at Red. "So, how do you two know each other?" she asked of Leaf. "I'm assuming you're not just a random PWT challenger who happened to run into the first-ever Pokédex completionist and asked him to show you around."
"Not really," Leaf confirmed. "Me and Red are both from Kanto. I started my journey, like, ten hours behind him. Every time he took down Team Rocket, I got there to find police officers carting off thieves in black. I literally walked into Viridian Gym while he was stepping out, shocked that he'd just gotten a badge from- What?" she protested of Red, who was motioning for her to stop with an embarrassed look on his face.
Nate chuckled. "Dude, the Gym Leader was the Rocket Boss," he insisted. "You're allowed to be a little surprised."
"So," Hilda inquired, "where were you while Red was catching legendary birds and duking it out with the Mind Master?"
"I was on a cute little pack of islands called Sevii," Leaf explained. "Me, him, and Blue walked into the Pokémon League within an hour of each other. I seriously think Blue was getting registered in the Hall of Fame when Red was stepping into Lance's room, while I was getting my ass kicked by Bruno."
"And I'm guessing you stepped into Lance's room while Red was getting registered in the Hall of Fame?" Hilda mused.
"Not even close," Leaf insisted. "Bruno's team kicked our asses. And instead of going straight at the League again like a moron, I decided to go to the Sevii Islands for some training."
"What is Sevii?" Nate echoed. "Never heard of it."
"Not surprised," Leaf admitted. "It's a small little island chain that doesn't really attract a lot of attention. A couple of Rockets literally showed up because they thought no one was gonna find 'em there. Anyways, the training trip worked to my advantage. Blue wasn't too keen on giving up the Champion's seat, so Red got his name in the Hall of Fame and then let him do the defending. But I happened to finally get through Bruno when he decided to defend it for himself, just for a bit, just until he took one defeat."
"How did that go?" Hilda wondered.
Leaf groaned. "Down to the wire, every time," she insisted. "Every single time, it came down to me and Jigglypuff against him and Pikachu. Battles of attrition. It was always 'who can tank harder', 'who brought more healing'. I think it was, what, my eighth time before I managed to get you?" She glanced at Red, who raised his hands to mark seven. "Seventh. Eight times at the League total."
"Jeez," Nate mused. "And what, you two just hit it off?"
"Not exactly," Leaf admitted. "That was the last time I saw him for a good long while. I'm not really a defender-type Champion, either. Next time I saw the League, Lance was the defending Champion, and Lorelei and Agatha were nowhere to be seen. So I'm wondering, where's that tough guy, and when am I gonna be able to fight him again? And then I realize there's a big-ass mountain sitting pretty much right on the border between Johto and Kanto, and guess who I find coming down when I reach the Pokémon Center at the bottom?"
Hilda turned to Red disdainfully. "Don't tell me you were camping out on Mt. Silver when Team Rocket resurged in Johto."
Red lifted the brim of his cap to glare at her.
"Yeah," Hilda retorted, "but I wasn't on the region border, I was in Hoenn!"
Leaf interrupted. "Hey, it's not like you get top-notch Pokégear reception on Mt. Silver," she defended. "You're almost dead to the world up there. The only person who might catch your call has gotta be in the mountain or at the Pokémon Center." She shook her head. "Anyways, when I saw him again, I asked him for another battle, and he might as well have said 'Let me patch up, Gold just gave me another wire-match.' After that, we kept in touch a lot more. We're always there to kick each others' asses if one of us is getting a little too confident."
"Then what brings you to the PWT?" Nate inquired.
"Simple," Leaf replied. "I wanted to see who else he's rubbing shoulders with - and figure out how much I'm up to snuff."
The Unovans grinned. "Well," Hilda mused, "I look forward to meeting you in the finals."
"Assuming I don't kick your ass on the way there," Nate retorted.
Red shot Leaf a smirk, prompting her to scoff. "Don't think I'm gonna give it to you easy."
The Kantonians made their way into the dome, and after a moment Nate's smile fell. "Did she say Jigglypuff and Pikachu?" he echoed. "Have neither of them evolved their Pokémon?"
"You don't get to talk about cute and powerful," Hilda reiterated.
"Stop rubbing Victini in my face!" Nate retorted. Then, as Hilda started into the dome; "You know, you still owe me an explanation."
"Well, I saw this cutie in the Battle Subway last week..."
Draco: I do not agree with the Hilda/N pairing. I'm just gonna say that right now. Hell, I don't agree with shipping N with anyone. Not for the usual 'why are you shipping Sephiroth' reasons, N isn't a villain. But I seem to be one of very few people who understands that it is in fact possible to be close to someone without being romantically interested in them. N is way too emotionally damaged for a romantic relationship. Plus, going by Version 2, he seems satisfied with solitude, and damn the sick mind that thinks there's something wrong with that.
[quote]Can you use the term 'is canon' when referring to game elements present in a fanfic?[/quote] The first time I said that, I mentioned that my Kantonian 'canon' is that Yellow Version happened by Red's hands, with contortions to account for Sevii, and Leaf went through Kanto separately. Having actually played FRLG and gone to the Sevii Islands now, I'd like to amend that to say that Leaf did the Sevii storyline, some time after Giovanni disbanded Team Rocket, and dealt with Archer and Ariana (don't pretend that's not who the Rocket Admins are).
Red's team in GSC/HGSS is based off of Gift Pokémon in RGBY/FRLG. But only half of the Gift Pokémon. The other half still have the makings of a legitimate team. I envisioned Leaf's team as the results of someone who made a lot of dumb decisions because she was uninformed and decided to make the best of them.
Then, more recently, it was pointed out to me that Leaf was basically forgotten about by the Pokémon Company until, like, the tail end of Generation VII, and shortly after, I realized that they could have easily added Leaf as a #BonusBoss in HGSS the same way they did Red. And as it happens, the team I arranged for her could have easily served as said team, give or take some versioning or starter-accounting.
Her starter is Jigglypuff, which she never evolves like Red's Pikachu, because the #GrandfatherClause means Jigglypuff's a Smash perfect attendee.
In the Pokémon Center at the foot of Mt. Moon, she comes across a stranger who wants to sell her a Pokémon. And she's suspicious, because, like, is that Pokémon trafficking? Is what he's doing legal? But she asks around, and it turns out that yeah, as long as he didn't steal the Pokémon from someone else, he's within his rights to sell them if he so pleases.
So, Leaf buys a Magikarp. And discovers that just because the sale is legal does not mean that he's selling a quality product. But she's not gonna abandon the Pokémon, so she painstakingly trains it for fifteen levels until the fish becomes a dragon.
Red doesn't have a Fossil Pokémon, so I assume that after the battle with Miguel, Red just told him "Dude, I'm not interested in your rocks" and filled the Pokédex with Fossils from elsewhere. Then Leaf comes along, expresses some interest in these stones, and asks if he's willing to sell them. So Miguel gets into another fight over his selfishness, and this time he loses the Dome Fossil over it.
Upon reviving it, Leaf discovers that maybe she should've gone for the other one. Kabutops' moveset/stat spread is not super exceptional. But it does have Grass-type drain moves, so now she's got a bit of type coverage and someone for battles of attrition.
As an NPC, I'd say Kabutops in HeartGold, Omastar in SoulSilver.
Sooner or later, Leaf finds her way to the back door of the Pewter Museum, and someone gives her an Old Amber. Tells her that it's got traces of prehistoric Pokémon DNA. Gives it to Leaf and suggests she find someone to give it a shock. Leaf's not super-impressed, but when she gets to the place where she can revive her Dome Fossil, she tries out the Old Amber and hey, it does have a prehistoric Pokémon in there, so now she's got an Aerodactyl.
Which means she's got a Water/Flying-type, a Rock/Water type, and a Rock/Flying type. So defensively speaking, there's a bit of type redundancy here. However, Aerodactyl is an offensive flier as well, and can Fly her around Kanto to boot. So, things could be worse.
In Celadon City, there's an Eevee in the room on the roof. Red's HGSS team does not have an Eeveelution, so let's have Leaf find it instead. And Celadon has a department store that sells evolutionary stones, so she grabs one of those, gets Eevee to trust her enough to accept the stone, and then evolves once it does.
She already has two Water-types, one of whom has a Grass-type offensive, so she ends up evolving Eevee into a Flareon. Who does not have the best reputation. But frick reputation, now she's got a Fire-type. Yeah, the stat spread and moveset are a little subpar, but her Eeveelution is fluffy and cuddly so who cares.
As an NPC, I'd have her with the Kantonian Eeveelution that corresponds to the player's starter; Jolteon if you chose Chikorita, Vaporeon if Totodile, Flareon if Cyndaquil.
The Fighting Dojo in Saffron City is not an official Gym. But that's no reason to pass up on the opportunity for Pokémon training, so Leaf pays it a visit. Upon defeating the Karate Master, he gives her the choice between a punching Pokémon or a kicking Pokémon.
Leaf chooses a Hitmonlee... which isn't the exceptional choice, because Hitmonchan has better type coverage and isn't quite as much of a glass cannon. But now she's got a Fighting-type, and a heavy hitter to round out her HM coverage.
As an NPC, let's say Hitmonlee in HeartGold and Hitmonchan in SoulSilver.
