Possession

Growing up, before Nanjiroh took him in Ryoga had never really got to call many things "his". It's really a combination of the rather squalid condition he grew up in and the fact that his "family" didn't really care much for him beyond his value to Echizen Nanjiroh, thus what they can get by making him a bargaining chip against his biological father. In some ways, even though he had come to truly love it, tennis was just yet another thing pushed upon him to make him more "valuable".

Then he met Ryoma, "his" younger brother.

At first, he was rather apprehensive about the idea of playing with Ryoma, wondering what was it Nanjiroh trying to do but that apprehension melted away with each clumsy step and swing that Ryoma made in his attempt to play tennis until eventually those clumsy steps became just a little surer, those swings become just a little stronger.

He would be utterly stupid to not notice how his brother changed practically overnight. Sure, Ryoma had always been quieter, less prone to tantrums, and overall more mature than kids their age, and Ryoga felt like there were times that Ryoma wasn't quite there, like his mind was wandering off somewhere far away. But one day, the Ryoma who greeted him at the dining table for breakfast didn't feel like the same Ryoma that he knew just before they went to sleep.

He had no doubt both in his young mind and heart, that it was Ryoma nonetheless, and the fact that in just one month the gap between them had been practically closed and now he was the one chasing after Ryoma in tennis took him some time to adjust to. But ultimately, he didn't feel like he had lost something but perhaps even gained something.

After he grew up a little more, he would look back and notice just how firm Ryoma was even then. How by the age of eight, Ryoma felt like he had lived a whole lifetime and all that came with it. But Ryoga then had simply cooed about how cool and mature his younger brother is (Older Ryoga still agreed with that sentiment, of course).

When his "family" came and wanted him back not long after Ryoma turned ten, Ryoga had made a vow to himself that he would find his way back to Ryoma no matter what. After all, the few things that he had hoarded for himself were still his even when he was not there.

(And he remembered how they made him leave in the middle of the night because they didn't want Ryoma to know. But he had seen then, in his last look at the place he had called home for nearly 3 years, gazing at the window of Ryoma's room to find it opened, his brother's eyes piercing toward him through the darkness, an unspoken promise)

When he returned, three years later, the first thing that Nanjiroh told him was to not thank him but to thank Ryoma who had been the one demanding them to get him back. Because of course, Ryoma knew that he never wanted to leave, and would never have if he had been in charge of his own destiny.

But three years had passed, and his "family" was still the same as it was before Nanjiroh picked him up and they had no qualms about making him go around and do all kinds of other people's dirty work for money, He could only grit his teeth and bear it as in the end, he needed to survive so that he could find his way back.

For survival, for the sake of living another day, he had to dirty his hands and even his tennis. In back alleys, in abandoned courts, watched by people who made their lives by destroying others, playing with desperate people for entertainment. It was his "aunt" who introduced him to those bastards, telling them that he would bring them good money. He knew they liked the show he was putting on. A vicious kid who destroys his opponents with an unaffected smile, a perfect little piece of entertainment.

He couldn't care less what they think of him as long as they give him enough money for him to go another day and enough to eventually escape and make his way back to Ryoma.

But then things spread. More and more of those bastards began approaching him and he couldn't say no. Because he knew the moment he stopped playing along was the moment he would lose it all and the fear grew within him that he had become in too deep to escape, to make his way back.

And then-

"Don't thank me. Ryoma was the one who threatened that he would personally take you back himself if I didn't." Nanjiroh said when it's just the two of them.

Ryoga didn't doubt that for a second. in the same way that Ryoga had come to consider Ryoma as his, it would seem that Ryoma had come to feel the same way about him.

Serious

Ryoma very rarely played tennis seriously to the point that he's truly giving close to his all. He approached tennis very methodically ever since the fog that clouded his mind from the memories of his past life had lifted. While Shirou Emiya was much more driven by passion than logic, the kind of Magecraft that he specialized in took way more studying about things like human biology and physics than his past life self ever expected. Thankfully for Ryoma, while Shirou Emiya mostly used them for combat purposes which he also inherited, that innate understanding helped him greatly with tennis as well.

In a way, he treated playing tennis a bit like combat. He observed his opponents very closely to read their movements and adapt on the fly while he tried to make sure he had all his basics covered so that he could do what he needed to do to counter whatever his opponent threw at him. Ryoga told him that he could get really intense when he got serious while playing tennis, and Ryoma figured it was most likely because of that combat mindset. Nanjiroh was more blunt in saying that he was scary when he gets intense, as embarrassing as it was for a man as old as him to say that to a kid.

He had to more or less get himself to actively relax and not take tennis too seriously so that the combat mindset didn't become his default one, and he didn't think that he had ever gotten to that point when playing against Yukimura and Sanada. Mostly because neither of them had reached a level that would require him to play seriously.

Ryoga, on the other hand, had a lot in his bag of tricks by virtue of his ability to "steal" others' tennis. He knew that Nanjiroh had prohibited Ryoga from playing with that style against him until Ryoma had soundly beaten Ryoga, not that it really mattered since Ryoma figured out how to counter that pretty quickly anyway, but it still required him to take things seriously which Ryoga seemed to take pride in.

On Ryoga's side, he definitely did take pride in that fact. There's a strange thrill in playing against a serious Ryoma. The way that Ryoma's intensity pushed down on him like an unseen force. The way that Ryoma's sharp eyes bore into him like a hunter watching its prey. The way that Ryoma made him feel like he was in the middle of a fight to the death that he would lose. All of those things that Ryoga loved, despite the weirded-out look that Nanjiroh gave him when he made his enjoyment clear.

Maybe he enjoyed the way that Ryoma's attention became entirely focused on him when he did. The way that for the time, the only ones that existed were Ryoma, Ryoga, and the court they both stood on. Maybe it's the adrenaline and he's more of an adrenaline junkie than he first thought.

Either way, there's a sense of possessiveness within Ryoga about that. About being an opponent that Ryoma took seriously. To be special to Ryoma.

This was why, when Ryoga felt the change in Ryoma's demeanor, felt the pressure even from the sideline as he watched Ryoma play the last set of the match against Tezuka, there was a strange feeling in his heart. Fear, jealousy, the realization of what's happening when after three unreturnable return Aces from Ryoma, he saw Ryoma hit the ball toward the sky instead of toward his opponent.

Whatever joy he felt from having Ryoma join the tennis club was heavily dampened by the realization that Ryoma might meet others. Play against others that were either good enough to make him play seriously or earned his respect enough to give them that honor. The realization that he might no longer be special to Ryoma.

Protection

Sometimes Ryoga wished that Ryoma wasn't so… capable. Being the older brother, of course, Ryoga felt a sense of protectiveness over Ryoma. That protectiveness was far from needed though. Ryoma had always been far more mature than his age indicated and very capable of fending for himself. By the time he turned ten, Ryoma had already pretty much taken over the role of being the one who cooked for them, cleaned the house, and even handled most of the shopping. The only thing he's not in charge of is household finance, but he might as well be considering Rinko isn't around much if at all and Nanako listen to Ryoma's suggestion all the time. Hell, by the time Ryoga returned after their three-year-long separation, Ryoma had taken that over too.

Then the one time they went camping out in the wild, Ryoma pretty much took charge as well. Be it starting a fire, setting up tents, looking for safe ingredients by foraging, and a little bit of hunting, it's almost like he's experienced in wild survival settings, which couldn't be since that was the first time they ever did something like it. There isn't a single doubt in Ryoga's mind that if it came to it, Ryoma wouldn't have much trouble surviving out in the wilderness with just whatever he had in his backpack.

Despite his aloof attitude, Ryoma is also good at socializing. When Ryoga go with Ryoma during one of his shopping trip for ingredients, it's very clear that he is familiar with all the sellers who are also quite fond of Ryoma. He also learned that he was quite popular among the adults in the neighborhood and beyond. The aunties in the neighborhood had even gotten him into the group where they swap recipes and talk about their children on.

Momoshiro and Kaido found out that Ryoma was the "very capable young man" that their respective mothers often talked about in comparison to them after they invited Ryoma to their respective homes. Kawamura discovered that his father had known Ryoma for years and even swapped recipes at times. Even Yamabuki's Akutsu's mom knew Ryoma, much to the delinquent's chagrin. Even more so when she told him that it was Ryoma who gave her the recipe for the mont blanc that Akutsu loved so much.

All in all, there was simply no opening for Ryoga to be the one taking care of Ryoma and not the other way around. Hell, Ryoga living comfortably and safely in Japan was thanks to Ryoma as well. This just further adds to the problem for Ryoga because he wants to be able to give back to Ryoma in some way, as he feels like he has just been taking things without giving anything back.

"You don't owe me anything, though," Ryoma had said nonchalantly when Ryoga tried to bring it up with him, and that's the biggest problem.

Ryoma had never expected anything in return when helping others, and Ryoga didn't want to just be another person who received Ryoma's help without being given the chance to give something back in return. But then he's back to the problem of Ryoma not needing much if any help from others to begin with, let alone protection.

"He's not invincible, you know."

Ryoga had no idea why the hell Ryoma was so fond of this rich jackass to the point of letting him come to their house anytime he wants. It's particularly annoying because Atobe is the only one. Neither Sanada nor Yukimura, despite having known Ryoma for longer, had that privilege or the level of closeness that Atobe had with Ryoma.

"In fact, I think he's quite hopeless in some ways," Atobe stated while stirring the tea in the cup he was holding.

Another reason why Ryoga hates him is that he talks about Ryoma like he knows about him more than anyone else. It weirdly reminds him of the way that Fuji often says extremely cryptic things about Ryoma, like it was a personal inside joke. Except Ryoma understands, which means that there's something that only the two know. Atobe took that up to eleven though.

Atobe smirked. "I know you don't like me. You're quite the possessive one. I assure you that I have no intention of keeping him for myself or anything like that."

"In fact, it would be great if there are people more like you in Ryoma's life. After all, the biggest threat to him is himself."

Ryoga blinked. What?

"He's not very good at asking for help, you know?" Atobe sighed. "But he also doesn't tend to let other people know when he's in trouble. What a troublesome guy."

"Does he… does he need help, now?" Ryoga asked, suddenly feeling worried that he might overlooked something significant.

"Now? No, not really. At least I don't think so." Atobe frowned. "See? Hard to tell. But the more people keeping an eye out the better."

Neither of them talked more after that. Atobe was content to just sip his tea as Ryoga stewed on his words. Atobe sounds like he was talking mostly in hypothetical terms, but at the same time, it weirdly feels like Atobe had experienced times when Ryoma needed help but failed to ask for it. That's the paradox of Ryoma and Atobe. By all means, they had only known each other for a fairly short time yet talked about and acted with each other like they had lived a whole lifetime with each other.

"I don't like you." Ryoga suddenly said, to which Atobe simply smiled. "But you're important to Ryoma for whatever reason and probably the only one that can figure him out. So I'll let you be, but if you ever hurt him…"

Atobe snorted but nodded anyway.

(Atobe could never dream of trying to keep Ryoma for himself. Rin Tohsaka had tried and found out the hard way that she by herself wasn't quite enough to keep Shirou Emiya from leaving when the call became too strong, when the restless desire to protect, to end injustice, overwhelmed whatever feeling of comfort that had kept him with her.

Ryoma Echizen is not Shirou Emiya. Keigo Atobe is not Rin Tohsaka. But he knew there was enough Shirou Emiya within Ryoma Echizen for that to remain a possibility until death claimed them once again, and Atobe truly hoped for his own sake and those others who had grown to treasure Ryoma that Ryoma would never walk the same path into hell that Shirou Emiya once walked.)


A/N: All around complicated feelings. One of these days I will actually make a lighthearted chapter but hhhh