CW:
(Talks of suicidal ideation and death in general)
Chapter 3
As Mustang gradually began to awaken, his eyes slowly adjusting to the basement's dim light, he wondered what had roused him from his sleep. The colonel had eventually gotten used to the unique sounds that could be heard throughout his dark prison. The whimpers and whines of the chimeras as well as the buzzing of electricity that came from the flickering bulbs scattered along the walls no longer bothered him as much. He eventually noticed that no moonlight shown through the skylight, the celestial body had started to wain down to nothing but a thin silver slash in the sky. With the source of what had wretched Mustang from his blissful slumber momentarily forgotten, unwanted thoughts and memories began to play back in his head.
It had been a few weeks now since the colonel and Edward had been captured, though the days had begun to move slower and last much longer lately. In that time life had gotten no better, the scientists had started to amp up their experiments and were trying out new methods of torture. Mustang was still nursing a very painful wound on his stomach from the previous days torment. Doctor Kramer had stabbed him with a scolding hot knife while Ed had been strapped down beside him. True to his word they were tortured together, the man seeming to enjoy only hurting one of them at a time while the other was injected with his special pain serum.
Together the two of them had been whipped, cut, stabbed, burned, and electrocuted among other things, all side by side. Doctor Kramer had also recently tried his hand at waterboarding both of them at one point, causing Mustang to pass out while Edward had wretched on nothing but icy water beside him. At least they were no longer being starved, though most of the time they were in too much pain to even think about eating. Ed in particular was suffering the most from the near constant abuse, barely being able to eat at all as the torture began to take its toll.
At the thought of Edward, Mustang looked up towards the young alchemist's cage. Today had been a resting day, where no strenuous tests were to be performed on them, though they still had to avoid other scientists with their cattle prods and needle pricks. The colonel had hoped that a day without torture would help the poor boy heal somewhat, but he could see now that that hope had been in vain.
He could see Ed's form highlighted against a nearby light, the boy was sitting hunched over in his cage. Through the thin hospital gown Mustang could see swathes of bandages covering Edward's chest and stomach, scars and healing wounds alike littered the boy's flesh arm and leg. The colonel noticed with a pang that Ed looked too thin, his ribs showing clearly through his bandages, his right leg and left arm looking like nothing but pale skin draped over bone.
Mustang could tell Edward was awake, his stiff form trembling weakly as his wide eyes stared blankly ahead. The boy's once brilliant golden hair trailed over his boney shoulders, coated in long dried blood and dirt. While the scientists had been kind enough to clean the two of them up –by spraying both with cold water from a hose- the tests usually ended in them becoming bloodstained once more.
Mustang realized now, with a pang of despair, what had caused him to wake up earlier. Ed was trying and failing to hold back his occasional choked sob, his body shuddering as tears streamed from his eyes. The bloodshot golden orbs glimmered in the dim light, blank and hollow as fear flitted in his gaze. The shadows under the boy's eyes reminded the colonel painfully of himself after the war, of all the horrors he had seen at the time. And now Edward was suffering such horrors that could destroy a grown man, let alone a teenager…
"E-Ed?" Mustang reached out with a slightly trembling hand, tugging gently on the boy's limp automail arm that hung a foot away. While Ed had no feeling in his metal limb he was still able to feel the pressure pull at the skin around his ports. It was useless though, the boy continued to stare into the darkness as though he had felt nothing.
"Are you okay?" Mustang asked again, hoping for a sign of life beyond Ed's haunted thoughts as he let his hand rest against the boy's shivering thigh. This seemed to bring the boy back to the present as Edward let out a strangled yelp, jumping at the contact. He turned his wide and desolate gaze to the colonel, alarming him as Ed did nothing to hide his tears.
"Edward…" Mustang said in a gentle yet sorrowful voice. How far had the once brilliant and brave boy fallen that he now allowed the colonel of all people to see him cry? Edward only hung his head slightly, just barely able to choke back another sob as Mustang went on. "It's okay…I'm right here with you…Tell me what's wrong, maybe I can help."
Ed trembled violently for a moment, taking in a few quick and shallow breaths before gazing back at him. The once fiery golden eyes were dulled over, their dazzling vibrancy now replaced with exhaustion and fear as tears continued to fall from them. "N-Nothing is w-wrong…Just g-go back to s-sleep…"
"Ed, don't give me that," Mustang kept his voice soft, fearing that the boy would break on him at any moment. "Just tell me what's wrong and let me help you for once."
At first Edward hesitated, as though some of his old pride had returned to him. But as soon as it had appeared it vanished along with Mustang's hope that the boy would be alright in the end.
"R-Remember when w-we were f-first captured?" The colonel didn't know exactly where Edward was going with this, but he nodded in response anyway. "H-How we thought that b-becoming c-chimeras would be the w-worst thing to h-happen? God…How wrong w-were we?!"
Before Mustang could do anything Ed's voice broke as he let out a loud wail, no longer trying to hide his inner turmoil. "I-I can't t-take this anymore! It's a-all just too much, Mustang! I-I just want it to end…"
"Ed," The colonel lifted his hand from the boy's leg, instead using it to rub circles against his back as Mustang sat up in his cage. All he wanted to do was just hug the suffering form before him. "I know it's been hard, but you're tough…You can make it through this…"
Edward only let out another harsh sob as he curled in on himself more, leaning back into the colonel's touch as he did so. "I-I can't b-be tough anymore! You're wrong! I j-just can't take t-this torture anymore!"
"I know…I know," Mustang tried his best at soothing the boy; to help him regain some strength as Ed continued to wail at his side. "All of this would be too much for anyone…And you've faced it all with more bravery than anyone twice your age…Just hold on for a little bit longer…"
"T-There's just no point a-anyway…" Edward's sobbing eased slightly as Mustang used his free hand to brush away the boy's tears before he began to comb his fingers softly through his tangled hair. "T-They've been torturing us for w-weeks now…Will it ever end?"
"All things come to an end, whether they're good or bad…Nothing lasts forever, Ed." While the colonel doubted that their suffering would end anytime soon, he knew that right now he needed to stay strong and positive for Edward. He had never seen the boy like this, even when he had found him as a young child, crippled and haunted. Even then there had been a silent strength to him, now Ed seemed broken and weak, like nothing could piece him back together, and he hoped with all his heart that the boy could pull himself back from this abyss of despair. "Just hold on for a little bit longer…"
"W-What's the point?" At last Edward's sobs had eased, leaving behind a tired weariness as he looked at Mustang with those almost lifeless eyes. "Why keep g-going on if there's nothing but pain at the end?"
"Nothing lasts forever…" The colonel repeated warily, worried that Ed was standing too close to the edge to be saved. "Please Ed; just give it all a bit more time…"
While Edward had held Mustang's gaze through most of his breakdown, the boy suddenly broke eye contact and gazed at the ground. "I-I…I already thought of a plan to…to end it all…"
"Oh, Ed…" The colonel heard his own voice break as he wrapped both arms around Edward, doing his best to hug him. The boy leaned against the bars of his cage, letting Mustang draw him closer as pure misery radiated from his frail body.
"I-I know it wouldn't work though…" There was a sad and shameful resignation in Ed's words as he continued to blankly gaze at the cold stone beneath them. "They want to keep us both alive…They'd never try to kill one of use until…Until after they've changed us…"
"Edward," Mustang's firm voice seemed to reach through the darkness of Ed's thoughts as the boy finally locked his defeated eyes back onto him. "Listen to me. Whatever happens, whatever pain they cause us or tortures they inflict, we both need to stay alive. Killing yourself, giving up and dying is never an option, okay? I want you to promise me, right here and now, that you won't do anything reckless in order to end your own life."
Ed stared at him almost blankly for a moment, his eyes glistening with tears once more as he seemed to finally draw strength from the colonel's words. The boy nodded as tears began to flow down his cheeks. "O-Okay…I p-promise…"
"Thank you…" Mustang closed his eyes for a moment, trying so hard to hold back his own sobs as he allowed words that had been left too long unspoken to leave him. "I need you to stay with me, Ed. Not just for yourself, but for myself as well. If you were to…to die…I don't know what I would do. I need you, Ed. With you gone…There would be nothing left for me…If I had failed to keep you alive…"
As the colonel slowly opened his eyes, feeling himself lose his battle against his own tears, he saw shock and understanding glisten in Edward's gaze. The boy twisted slightly until he was able to put his left hand on Mustang's shoulder, grounding him before his sorrow could wash him away. "M-Mustang…"
"Edward," Now his voice sounded a little stronger, though it still wavered slightly in the air. "I love you…you…You're like the son I wish I could have. It hurts me so fucking much to see you suffer like this…A-And there's nothing I can do to stop it…"
This time Mustang didn't hold back his sadness, he embraced it as he began to weep softly, unable to look at the boy any longer. Just the thought of Edward's body lying limp and cold beside him made him feel like he would shatter. To see those brilliant golden eyes glazed over in death, to never hear the boy's voice again…God, it was all just too much to bear…
"M-Mustang…" The colonel could hear Ed take a deep and ragged breath as he tried to keep his voice steady. "I love you too…You've always been more of a father to me than…than that bastard Hohenheim…A-And…"
Edward's voice failed him once more as he also let out his own sobs, the two of them just so overwhelmed with emotion that words failed them. They stayed that way for a long time, both of them trying their hardest to hold the other close, to allow all those pent up feelings to finally be released into the world. And as they fell asleep, curled as best as they could be in the other's embrace, everything seemed bearable for just a moment.
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Edward sat curled in on himself inside his cage as the sun above cast its brilliant light into the basement. While the sun usually brought with it some comfort on most days, the stone prison he found himself in seemed to steal it away. The beams of light couldn't reach his cage anyway; it was cast in shadow by the steel floor of the catwalk above him. He thought, with a small grim smile, that the sun being blocked echoed how he now felt, cold and without a shred of warm hope glowing within.
While last night had been comforting and therapeutic, Ed still didn't feel much like his usual self. He still felt the same sadness and fear from the previous night; how he had cried out at the hopeless of his situation, though it seemed muted now. And even though he had promised the colonel that he'd keep living, Edward still felt hollow inside. It was almost as though the happy and optimistic part of himself had been ripped from him and burned to cinders before his very eyes.
Ed knew now that there was no way he and Mustang could escape from this hell, every plan they made would never have worked. The only way they were leaving this place would either be through death or becoming a chimera, though Edward didn't know which he found worse at this point. The only thing that kept him from wailing out his anguish was the grounding touch of Mustang's hand as he rubbed soft circles against his back. Ed looked over at the colonel, those once smug dark eyes now gleaming with sympathy and sorrow.
While Mustang had always had a rather pale complexion, he looked almost ghostlike with the dark circles under his tired eyes. His messy hair stuck out in all directions, the stubble on his chin only serving to add to his ragged appearance. And while the colonel was handling their shared torture better than Ed, his body was still much too thin and littered with countless new and old wounds alike. They must have looked like quite the battered pair, one a teen whose mind felt like it was cracking like glass, the other a man who seemed to be trying desperately to hold both of their shattering pieces together.
Then there was Sammy, whose soft tail would brush against him occasionally as he whispered soft words of encouragement. And while sadness hung over Edward like a dark veil, he felt grateful to have both the chimera and Mustang by his side during these hopeless times. Ed continued to stare at the colonel, drawing strength from him as those dark gray eyes never left his own golden gaze.
"It's okay, Ed," Mustang murmured gently as he held Edward a little tighter. "We'll get through this together, I promise."
He only nodded in response, too full of sadness to trust his own voice as he dragged his gaze away from the colonel's. Ed's eyes slowly roamed around the room, taking in the ragged and battered forms of the caged chimeras who shared his prison. Most of them bore various scars from their own days of torture, while others huddled miserably in their cages, whimpering at every sound. Edward knew that soon he and Mustang would be just like them, nothing but primitive beasts that tried their hardest to hold onto their last shreds of humanity. Soon they would truly become one with The Pack…And that thought alone sent chills down his spine.
Ed flinched when he heard a door on the floor above slowly creak open, knowing that no good would come of it. The level above them was where the scientists carried out their experiments, the doors that lined the basement walls seemed to be only used for torture. As footsteps stomped down the metal stairs Edward felt Mustang hold him as tightly as he could, while Sammy let out a low protective growl.
Two men soon appeared, walking straight towards them as Ed began to tremble almost instinctively. One was Doctor Kramer, a horrible delight gleaming in his cold eyes. The other was a young man with reddish brown hair and green eyes that were hidden behind his glasses. He had introduced himself as Vance, and he was by far the kindest of the scientists. He was usually the one to bring the captives food and water, along with the occasional remedy for their various pains.
While the sight of Vance made Ed feel a calming sense of relief, it was quickly smothered by his fear of Doctor Kramer. The look in the demented man's eyes held so much malice and dark excitement that if felt like his very soul was withering at just the sight of him.
"It's so nice to see my two favorite subjects." Doctor Kramer said happily, his voice sending a chill down Edward's spine as the man drew closer and closer. "Did you enjoy your day of rest?"
The only sounds were the clicking of the two scientist's shoes as they crossed the stone floor. Sammy let out a low growl, and while the chimera had learned to back off when Doctor Kramer came to get Ed and Mustang; he still vocalized his disdain anyway.
"Why such gloomy expressions? You two should be happy! This will be the final experiment we do while you are still human." The man said it as though that was a good thing, but all Ed felt was a horrible pit of dread form in his stomach. What horrors had Doctor Kramer saved for last?
As Vance shot them an uncomfortable, almost apologetic look, he pressed a button that opened the two cages before him. The metal doors clattered open, startling the chimeras around the room as they howled in fear and anger. The younger scientist knelt down and held out a hand towards Edward, seemingly unable to manhandle him as Doctor Kramer was doing to the colonel beside him.
Ed only let out a sad sigh as he crawled towards Vance, seeing Sammy cast a worried glance at him from the corner of his eye. There was no real reason to put up a fight against the scientists anyway; it would only end badly for himself. Why cause yourself avoidable pain when it was promised to be magnified anyway?
Vance very carefully slung Edward over his shoulder, a muffled apology escaping him as he carried Ed towards the metal staircase. Doctor Kramer followed close behind, supporting Mustang as the colonel leaned against him.
Mustang's dark eyes met Edward's as they progressed to the second floor, his gaze was wide and full of anxiety as he looked at Ed. He could only imagine that his own golden eyes held nothing but a tired acceptance, knowing full well that there was nothing either of them could do to stop the testing.
As a door creaked open Edward was nearly blinded by the bright florescent lights of the white room. This room was similar to the torture rooms, sterile and full of unpleasant looking instruments that didn't even belong in a hospital setting. Vance set him down onto a cold metal table, taking great care to make sure Ed didn't get slammed into the hard surface.
The sound of flesh and bone hitting the table roughly next to him on his left told Ed that Mustang hadn't been as lucky as he had been. He turned his head to look at the colonel, watching as his chest heaved as he fought to get air back into his lungs.
As Edward felt the tight leather restraints press against his flesh arm and leg, he could hear Vance and Doctor Kramer talking over him in hushed voices. They seemed to be having a small disagreement, the vile doctor's eyes narrowed as he glared at Vance, but they were too quiet for him to figure out what they were saying.
"Ed…" A soft voice pulled him away from the scientist's muttered conversation as he blinked at Mustang. The colonel's eyes gleamed with a gentle reassurance as he tried to smile at him. The forced smile turned into a grimace as Doctor Kramer began to restrain Mustang, his argument with Vance seeming to be over.
The doctor turned the colonel onto his right side, binding him to the table while strangely leaving his left arm free. Doctor Kramer enjoyed making sure that one could see exactly what was happening to the other, and since Mustang had been tortured the previous day…That meant that Ed was next.
Edward remembered with a sad and regretful pang how he had been forced to watch Doctor Kramer stab the colonel with a hot knife. The smell of burning flesh had wafted in the air as Mustang had screamed in pure agony. That horrible haunted look had darkened the colonel's eyes as he was dragged into a flashback, while Ed could only stare at him as fire flowed through his own body. Watching the usually brave and fearless man crack like glass before his very eyes, and being completely unable to help, hurt almost as much as Doctor Kramer's pain serum.
As he was slowly brought back into the present by a sharp breath beside him, Ed watched as Mustang let out a surprised grunt. Doctor Kramer had stuck a needle into the bend of the colonel's arm, a long and clear tube slowly filling with scarlet blood that was gathering into a bag on the small table between them.
"What do you need my blood for?" Mustang rasped as he cast a confused and slightly fearful look at the man. Doctor Kramer ignored him, instead keeping his attention focused on the blood slowly pooling in the bag.
Ed watched as the colonel grew paler and paler, his body beginning to tremble as Doctor Kramer let out a small and seemingly satisfied grunt. He removed the needle from Mustang's arm and staunched the tiny pin prick left behind with a bit of gauze.
While the amount taken hadn't been life threatening it still seemed to be enough to leave the colonel weak and ill. Color had yet to return to his face as his dark gaze followed Doctor Kramer, who was now walking away with the bag of blood, before it settled onto Ed. He looked worried and a little out of it as he stared at Edward with glassy eyes.
"Vance, get my special mixture for Colonel Mustang," Doctor Kramer said as he examined the blood, holding the bag up to the bright lights. "Just to play it safe."
Vance gazed at the doctor for a moment, unease gleaming in his eyes as he walked over to the other side of the room. The sound of metal objects clattering together as the young doctor fumbled around in one of the many cabinets along the wall filled the room. As soon as it stopped Vance returned, a syringe of a horribly familiar clear liquid in his hand.
The young man averted his green gaze as he pressed the needle into Mustang's unrestrained arm, pulling away as the contents were emptied into the colonel's vein. His arm remained free as Ed watched the drug do its terrible work.
Mustang's pupils seemed to disappear, swallowed up by his dark gray irises as his muscles tensed from the pain. As a low moan escaped through the colonel's gritted teeth, Edward's view was blocked by Doctor Kramer. Worry consumed him when he could no longer see Mustang, fearful at not being able to find some reassurance from his presence.
"Now to finally start the experiment," The vile doctor said as he leaned over Ed, freeing his flesh arm as he felt around for a vein. "It may have taken Doctor Lawrence ages to approve of it, but I'm so glad he's a man that can see sense in my studies."
"God, what is this man going to do to me? If even that sick Doctor Lawrence wouldn't let him do this until now…" Edward felt fear course through his body, his heart beginning to pound as Doctor Kramer's thin lips parted in a twisted smile. He could probably feel Ed's heartbeat speed up, the smile only growing wider as Edward cowered at the sight of the needle approaching his arm.
"Ah, that never gets old." The man said in a pleased voice as he pushed the needle into a vein. Like Mustang, Ed was hooked up to a long tube and blood bag as well. Doctor Kramer moved out of the way, giving Edward a clear view of the colonel.
Mustang was panting against the pain that consumed him, his wide and agonized eyes locking onto Ed as his lips began to move. No sound escaped from him, the colonel's voice seeming to fail as he tried to move his free arm. His motions were slow and stiff from the fire coursing through his body though, and he let out a weak gasp as his arm thudded painfully against the metal table.
"Mustang…" Edward whispered, surprised by how his voice trembled against his will. He gazed at the colonel, seeing the same distress he was feeling glitter in those onyx eyes. Both he and Mustang then turned to look at the bag of blood slowly filling on the table between them. Ed felt a chill run down his spine at the sight of the crimson liquid leaving his body, and he was suddenly very aware of the needle in his arm as he stifled a moan.
"E-Ed…" Mustang finally managed to gasp out, switching Edward's focus onto him instead of the blood steadily filling the bag. While the colonel's eyes were full of pain, there was an almost reassuring gleam to them. Mustang gave him a shaky smile, trying again to move his arm with no success as it slammed onto the hard metal below him once more. While Ed tried his hardest to stop himself from panicking as he felt the blood slowly leave his body, he couldn't help himself from letting out a small and fearful whimper.
Ed could feel his body beginning to tremble like Mustang's had only minutes before, his teeth beginning to chatter slightly when he noticed he was getting colder and colder as the warmth was stolen along with his blood. The minutes felt like hours as the bag continued to fill, eventually reaching its limit as Doctor Kramer removed the bag and squeezed the end of the tube lightly so no blood dripped out.
Ed felt relief flow through him, but it was short lived. Doctor Kramer had grabbed a second empty bag and attached it to the end of the tube, letting go of his hold as blood began to flow into the empty vessel. Edward looked back at Mustang, seeing his own panic reflected in the colonel's eyes as the cold of the room began to seep into his bones. His body's trembling grew stronger as dark spots threatened to black out his vision. As he shook his head to rid himself of the dots dancing in his eyes, a sudden thought struck Ed so hard that he gasped aloud, receiving a worried look from the colonel as he realized what was happening.
"I think I understand what Doctor Kramer's final experiment is…" Edward's inner voice sounded as frail as he felt, trembling along with his body. "He wants to see how much blood he can take from me before…That's why Doctor Lawrence was so hesitant…Because I probably won't survive this…"
While he expected more fear to course through him, Ed was surprised at the wave of peaceful acceptance that washed over him. He was still scared of dying, very scared in fact, but Edward knew what his death would bring with it.
"I've wanted to be free of this place for so long now...And finally it's here…" His body felt so cold, like his bones were made of ice and his flesh made of snow. The blood continued to leave him as his trembling seemed to reach its peak. "I don't know what will happen to my soul…But even everlasting darkness is better than this hell…At least I'll finally be free…"
"E-Ed…N-No, please…" Mustang seemed to reach the same conclusion as his dark eyes widened in pure panic. Edward gazed back at him, taking in every detail of the colonel's face for what would most likely be the last time. While he now knew why the scientists had taken Mustang's blood, he also knew that in the end it would be much too late to save him.
There was still so much he wanted to tell the colonel, but as he opened his mouth he felt his voice fail him. Ed watched through his slowly tunneling vision as Mustang finally managed to lift his arm from the table, letting his warm hand cradle Ed's cold and shivering one.
"God…I am so sorry, Mustang…" Ed could feel tears forming in his eyes as he squeezed the hand of the panicked man before him, hoping to give him some comfort. Through the growing feeling of tranquility that flowed like a replacement of his blood in his veins, he felt sorrow course alongside it. "I'm so sorry that I'll be leaving you behind, all alone…But it's for the best in the end…I hope you can forgive me…"
Edward remembered how Mustang had wept when he said he wouldn't be able to live without him; his words replaying in his head as ringing began to fill his ears. Ed knew the colonel would be left behind with the guilt of his death, but Edward could forgive him for it. Mustang had tried so damn hard to keep him safe, and he appreciated it more than words could describe. Ed knew the colonel was a strong man, he would be able to push through his grief and keep moving forward…With or without Edward by his side.
"I wonder if it's true that you can watch over others after you die…If that's the case, then I'll stay by his side, even here in this hell, until he can be with me…He won't truly be left alone…" Ed felt himself smile against the tears streaming from his eyes, love and absolute sorrow warring in his mind as he tried his hardest to return Mustang's tight hold on his hand. He could hear the two scientists shuffle around, seemingly in a panic, as he just continued to gaze at the colonel.
"EDWARD!" Mustang screamed, his voice full of distress and horror as Ed felt himself slipping away. His vision was almost black, a long tunnel with the colonel at the end as it began to swallow the world in darkness. Edward could feel his body go limp, fingers uncurling in Mustang's grasp, his lungs letting out the last of their air and his once pounding heart shuddering uselessly one last time before going still.
"He'll be the last person I'll ever see…" The darkness that hazed over his eyes gave way to a blinding white light as Mustang faded away along with the living world. Those dark and terrified eyes that overflowed with tears were the last thing Ed remembered as he too faded into nothing.
"Well, there are worse sights to leave on…I'm glad it was him though, in the end…" And then there was no sound, no thoughts or sights or pain. There was just nothing but a vast white plain and an achingly familiar silhouette…
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"No…No! This can't be happening!" Mustang thought as he took in the sight of Edward's trembling form before him. The boy was so pale, his skin an almost sickly gray as his body slowly began to shut down. He could see Ed's blood still draining away, slowly gathering into the bag between them out of the corner of his eye. The colonel kept his attention on the boy, feeling a shard of despair stab deep into his heart at the sad acceptance in Edward's eyes. He was a smart kid and must have already figured out what was going on…What would most likely happen to him…
All Mustang could do was continue to gaze at the boy, holding his hand as tight as he could against the fiery agony coursing through his own body. Ed's grip on his hand was the only thing that kept him from panicking, but even that was growing weaker and weaker. Tears streamed from both of their eyes as they looked at each other, seemingly memorizing the other, for what could well be the final time.
"This can't be how it all ends…Edward can't die here like this…How can I go on without him by my side?" All Mustang wanted to do was scream, to voice his absolute anguish, to try to fight his way out of his bindings and stop this terrible experiment. The pain within his own body prevented him from even struggling, the only comfort he had was holding Ed's cold hand, feeling the boy's slowing heartbeat as his thin fingers tried their best to tighten their hold. And even that alone was sending sharp sparks of agony up his arm, only adding to his suffering.
"If Ed dies…Then there is nothing left for me. I'll have failed him once again, and this time there is no way I can bring him back…" Mustang felt like he was made of glass, slowly cracking into pieces as helplessness crushed him down into the dark pits of despair. "Please…Just let him live through this…If someone has to die, let it be me instead…"
Edward's skin looked almost translucent now as his breathing slowed into quick and shallow gasps. Even his once violent trembling began to weaken, his pulse fluttering erratically under his skin. Ed's eyes remained locked onto the colonel, so full of love and absolute sorrow as a small and resigned smile parted his lips. From the corner of his eye Mustang saw Vance beginning to move around them frantically, shouting something urgently to Doctor Kramer. The vile man seemed unconcerned and responded in a gruff voice, but the colonel couldn't hear what was being said. His attention was focused solely on Ed; nothing else mattered to him as his panic reached its peak.
"EDWARD!" He finally managed to find his voice, his body screaming in agony alongside him as the light in the boy's eyes began to dim. Ed's trembling slowed to a stop, his wavering grip on Mustang's hand going slack as his body went limp. The boy managed to take in one last trembling breath, letting it out in a long sigh as the life in Edward's brilliant golden eyes finally faded away. The boy's eyes remained open and gazed at Mustang, but he knew that Ed could no longer see him as the weak and uneven pulse against his hand vanished.
"No…Please just let this be a bad dream…" But he couldn't hide from the horrible truth. Edward was dead, gone from this world, and all the colonel wanted to do was scream in anguish. The low and shaking whimper that escaped him didn't help in the slightest as tears ran like a flooded river from his eyes.
Vance had already taken the needle from Ed's arm, quickly stopping his remaining blood from flowing out. Sound and time suddenly returned to Mustang as he watched the young scientist cast an angry glare at Doctor Kramer.
"I knew this was a bad idea!" Vance screamed as he began to fumble his hands clumsily over the table between Mustang and the corpse of his beloved subordinate. The bag of blood that had been taken from Ed fell to the ground in the process, its crimson contents swirling sickeningly as the young scientist continued to glare at the doctor. "Why would you even want to do this, much less to a child?!"
"It's all for the greater good, Doctor Hoffman. You'll understand one day that a single life lost means nothing in the grand scheme of the world." Doctor Kramer took a step forward, glaring back at Vance as he continued. "I will not have my methods questioned, not by a mere novice."
All the young man did was narrow his eyes more until they were nothing but green slits, anger radiating off of him in waves as he returned his attention to Ed. "I won't just let him die, not if there was a chance of bringing him back."
Vance stood over Edward's body, placing his hands on the boy's motionless chest as he began to press hard against him. Mustang was still holding Ed's hand, his fingers curled tight against the cold appendage as he tried to block out the agony coursing through him. He was unwilling to let go of the boy even as his body began to jerk from the young doctor's strong compressions.
"Well we did take the colonel's blood for a reason," Doctor Kramer relented as he began to walk to the other side of the room. "Doctor Lawrence doesn't want the boy to die either; he's much too important to his own experiment. Personally I could care less, I got what I needed from the boy and we still have Colonel Mustang to create a chimera with."
As the vile doctor disappeared from view, Mustang let his gaze wander to Vance's face. The young scientist was focused on his task, though as their eyes met for a moment he could tell that Vance seemed to understand at least a fraction of his own pain.
"S-Save him…P-Please…" The colonel managed to whisper out, his grip tightening against Ed's limp hand as his sentence ended in an agonized moan. The young man only nodded, his green eyes full of compassion and guilt, before returning his main focus to Edward.
Mustang caught movement from the corner of his eye, seeing that Doctor Kramer had returned along with the bag of blood he had taken from the colonel what now seemed like a lifetime ago. "This should be enough to bring him back, but I might ask a donation from you since you want him alive so badly."
"If that's what it takes, then I'm willing to do it." Vance said, his attention never straying from the motionless body below him as Doctor Kramer moved to stand between the colonel and Ed, blocking his view slightly. Mustang felt his hand being moved along with Edward's as the doctor examined the back of the boy's hand. He seemingly ignored the colonel's tight grip on Ed's hand, only moving one finger aside as Doctor Kramer stuck a needle into a vein and attached the tube to the bag of Mustang's blood.
"Will that really be enough to bring Edward back?" He thought to himself as the doctor took a few steps back, letting Ed's hand drop as the colonel got a good look at the boy. There was absolutely no color to his skin, a thin sheen of sweat giving him an almost wax like complexion against his pronounced cheekbones. Those once fiery golden eyes continued to stare lifelessly back at him from their shadowed and sunken sockets. A pang of pure sorrow coursed through him at the sight. "Can they even save him at this point? What if it's truly too late?"
Mustang remembered how he had promised to keep Ed safe, to do all he could to protect him from the horrors of this living hell. Looking into the boy's glazed over eyes only pounded his failure deeper into his already shattering heart, his eyes still overflowing with tears as the colonel took in a shaky breath. "Oh Ed, I am so so sorry that I couldn't protect you…I failed you so badly…I truly am useless…"
The weight of Edward's lifeless hand in his own felt like a testament to all his mistakes, all those failed promises…A personification of all those he had let down over the years, of all the people who had died by his hand. How could he have ever thought he was capable of keeping Ed safe, when Mustang had been a monster who hadn't even been able to save those closest to him?
Memories of Edward began to flutter in his mind like a trapped butterfly, all the wonderful good and bitterly bad times…all the arguments and friendly banter. The colonel could still remember the joy he would feel when the boy and his brother returned from a particularly challenging mission with hardly a scratch, Ed's eyes gleaming with an almost taunting triumph. But all that was gone now…He had taken it away and destroyed it, even though he himself had no hand in the terrible experiment that had ended the boy's life. "I'm sorry…I'm so sorry, Edward…You never deserved any of this…"
Mustang closed his eyes for a moment, saving an image of the boy in his mind. Edward, alive and well with a smile on his face, his golden eyes glittering magnificently along with his braided blond hair, his skin lightly tanned from the sun…How he would give anything to see Ed like that one last time…
"He's still unresponsive." Vance's voice was full of sadness as he continued in his compressions, an almost desperate look to his eyes. Edward's body jerked under the young man's hands as Doctor Kramer stood over the lifeless form, a thoughtful gleam in his dark eyes.
"Maybe if we tried to inject some adrenaline," The doctor said as he walked out of the colonel's line of sight once more. "It could give his heart a jump start, maybe it would be just enough to bring him back."
As hope kindled like a flickering flame in Mustang's shattered heart, Doctor Kramer returned with a syringe in one hand. His expression looked unhappy as he walked around Vance and bent over Edward, sticking the needle deep into the boy's neck before pushing down on the plunger.
"Please work…" The colonel thought to himself as the world began to grow still and silent once more. He held his breath, a fragile blossom of hope trying its hardest to bring together the pieces of his broken heart. Vance continued in his compressions as all three kept their attention fixated on Edward. "God, please let this work…"
After a minute that felt like an eternity the young man reeled back, taking his hands from the boy's chest. Another second passed as the haze of death slowly faded and light returned to Ed's eyes. The boy then took in a ragged gasp of air, his body trembling with the effort of breathing once more.
Mustang wanted to cry out in relief as Edward's once limp hand tightened its hold on his own, recognition flickering in those brilliant golden eyes. Ed looked at him with a mixture of shock and confusion, a small smile forming on his face before his eyes closed and his head fell limply back against the metal table.
"He's alive…He's really alive!" The colonel felt sheer joy flow through him as he managed a small sigh, his tensed muscles relaxing as much as they could. Fire and agony still coursed through him, but with Edward once again back among the living it all was once again bearable.
"Well there you go, Doctor Hoffman." Doctor Kramer said in an almost unimpressed voice as he watched Ed's chest rise and fall. "The boy lives once more…Such a shame that my experiments must now come to an end. I want to see how much more that small body can take before giving out completely…"
Mustang's gaze left the boy's unconscious form, eyes narrowing into an angry glare directed at the vile doctor. Hadn't Edward already suffered enough? Why did the man insist on such horrid tests? Doctor Kramer saw that he was being glared at and he let out a laugh as he gazed down at the colonel.
"I could always go behind Doctor Lawrence's back and do some more tests." He mused with a sneer, eyes gleaming with pure contempt. "You two are such an interesting pair of subjects…What would happen to the poor boy if the roles of this experiment were reversed, I wonder?"
"You've already done enough here, Doctor Kramer." Vance said as Mustang felt a pang of absolute fear drop like a stone onto the already shattered pieces of his heart. There was no way either of them would be able to handle such a test once more…But if there was nothing to stop it…What could he even do to prevent it..?
The doctor must have seen the fight drain from him as he laughed once more, a sound harsh enough to crack glass. "Yes I have, these two will make such excellent and obedient chimeras now."
Doctor Kramer strode over to Mustang, drawing a syringe from a pocket in his lab coat before jamming it painfully into the colonel's neck. As sweet relief flowed like a wave through him, washing away the fire in his veins, the doctor's smile only grew broader. "I've done well to stomp the fight right out of you two. I always enjoy watching that final spark of hope flicker away."
As Doctor Kramer pulled away, still smiling to himself, the colonel felt Vance begin to undo his tight bindings. He glanced over at Edward, seeing he had already been freed while Doctor Kramer had been taunting Mustang. Vance drew away once he was free, his sharp green eyes roving over the two of them.
"Do you think you'll be able to walk back to your cage?" The young man asked in a quiet voice, to which the colonel thought for a moment before nodding weakly. Vance then helped him to sit up on the table, keeping a close eye on him as the young doctor lifted Edward carefully off of his own metal table. As their hands were slowly forced apart, Mustang kept his attention fixed on the boy who was now being gently cradled in Vance's arms.
"I'll be careful with him." The young man promised earnestly when he followed the colonel's gaze. He nodded to Vance as the young doctor cast a glance towards Doctor Kramer. "Sir, if you could carry the blood along beside me, it'd be a great help."
"Fine, but remember that I'll be taking some of your own blood for him later. His care is now your responsibility." Doctor Kramer said with a scowl, grabbing a nearby IV stand and attaching the blood bag to it. He nodded to his colleague as Vance nudged Mustang to his feet, letting him lean his exhausted body against his shoulder.
The world around him became nothing but a monochrome blur as he gazed at Edward and let the two doctors guide him back into the basement. As he focused on just simply putting one trembling foot in front of the other he let out a quiet sigh of relief when he watched the boy's chest rise and fall. "Please don't ever make me worry like that again, Edward. I don't know if I could handle something like that another time…"
They soon reached the line of cages Mustang and Ed were horribly familiar with, the cage doors still open from when they had been taken from them less than an hour or so ago. As the colonel crawled into his small prison without a fight he saw that Sammy was watching them with a worried gleam in his eyes. The two of them watched as Vance settled Edward into his cage as carefully as he could, placing the boy so he was lying on his right side with his left arm hanging limply through the bars. Doctor Kramer maneuvered the IV stand around the young man as Vance then draped Ed's thin blankets over his trembling body, tucking him in as best he could before the two doctors took a step back.
"I'll be back to check on you two later." Vance promised in a gentle voice while his fellow doctor scoffed and slammed the cage doors closed with one foot. Doctor Kramer then turned and left, a reluctant Vance following him to the stairway as his green eyes cast them an apologetic look before they both climbed the metal stairs back to the second level.
As soon as the two doctors were gone from view Mustang turned his attention back to Edward. The boy was still deathly pale and shivering, his eyes still closed as he took in a few trembling gasps of air. The colonel lay on his side, doing his best to hold Ed's cold body close to him while making sure the needle in the back of the boy's hand wasn't jostled much. As his arms encircled Edward the boy instantly leaned deeper into Mustang's embrace, his shivering body seeking out any extra warmth it could get.
"Are Pup and Roy okay? Pup doesn't look good…" Sammy's voice was a soft and worried whimper as he ran his tail down Ed's back, the soft fur tickling the colonel's arms as it brushed against them. The chimera gazed at Mustang, who finally mustered up enough energy to lift his head and return Sammy's steady gaze.
"The experiments are done now…" He was still too heartsick to recount all that had just happened as Mustang let his head fall back onto one of his pillows. He was exhausted both physically and emotionally, hoping silently that Sammy would find meaning in his words. The chimera must have understood what that now meant for his two friends as he let out a small whine and did his best to nuzzle Mustang's arms.
"Sammy is so sorry…" Was all the chimera was able to say as the colonel felt his eyelids begin to droop. He looked at Edward, comforting himself with the fact that the boy was still mercifully among the living.
"Oh Ed, I am so sorry that you had to go through that…But it's done now…At least until we're finally turned into chimeras…" Mustang thought as he curled himself as closely as he could around the boy, wishing not for the first time that those horrid cage bars would just vanish. Edward let out a small whimper as the colonel's arms held him tight, his eyelids flickering as though he were having a bad dream.
With Ed cradled in his arms Mustang realized that Doctor Kramer had been right…All the fight he had once had in him was gone, smashed to pieces along with his heart. The colonel bit his lip against his own distressed whimper as he closed his eyes and fell into an uneasy, yet welcomed, darkness.
This scene was one of the most fun to write. I had this chapter listed as the "Blood Letting" scene and was super excited to put it into the story. I'm horrible lol.
Also we get another character name...The last names of the characters all relate to a single series of movies. If you can guess which one then you get a cookie. Here's a hint: Games.
Anyway I have absolutely no clue as to when Chapter Four will be coming out. At this time only around half of the first part is actually written. Things have been busy here lately and I'm trying to find the time to actually work on it. I'm going to aim for maybe a late November release, but don't hold me to it.
I'll also more than likely have more character references up. I've been too busy to color all of them, so keep an eye out for them on my Reddit account (which is the best place to get updates and progress on the story).
I also want to thank everyone for the favorites, follows, and reviews that this story has gotten so far. You guys are truly amazing and I'm so grateful for you, keep on being awesome!
So I'll see you all in the next chapter, really hope you enjoy this one!
:3
