Prologue
RomComs? No Thank You
He didn't get it.
No matter how much he racked his brain over it, he just did not get it.
And that was something that annoyed him, quite so in fact.
After all, even if such literature wasn't his usual cup of tea, he could still understand why some of the works of such genre had become so popular as of late.
Heck, he was sure that at one point he too would have found himself consuming such works as if they were masterpieces that some people saw them as.
Like Zaimokuza, who had himself recommended to him the novel that was currently resting in his hand.
But as he glared at said novel, the only thing that he wanted to do with it was to smack that otaku for recommending him something like this.
Usually, his recommendations weren't bad. For all of his lack of ability when it came to actually writing, at least Zaimokuza had good eyes for things to read.
But this one?
He didn't get it.
And with all the praises Zaimokuza gave this thing, one would assume it would change the life of anyone that read it.
But the only thing it made him feel was frustration.
It wasn't like it was even bad or anything. If he had to describe, he would just say that it was…average.
But honestly? That might be even worse. At least if it was really good, or extremely bad, he would have something to say, but with it being so painfully mediocre…
He just didn't get it!
And it seemed he was the only one that didn't, given that the cursory search that he had done online for curiosity's sake had only show him that Zaimokuza had not been exaggerating when it came to this work's popularity.
The masses were obviously seeing something that he was not, but what that is was simply beyond him, especially when he had seen novels just as average as this one not even get a fraction of the popularity this one got.
A frustrated breath left his lips, followed by his head hitting the pillow of his bead. Why was he letting something like this ruin his Sunday night where he could be reading something better, or maybe even play on his Vita?
Maybe Yukinoshita was right and he was becoming a masochist?
He shivered at such thought, although if it was for the idea of becoming a masochist or for the image of a smug Yukinoshita, he wasn't sure.
Probably both.
A buzz from his left hand though, was quick to earn his attention. He bit his lip for just a moment, wondering of just thinking of Yukinoshita was enough to make her send him a message or something.
She had never done so, but one never knew when dealing with a super woman like her, right?
Checking his phone, however, quickly made him dismiss such train of thoughts, for the message that he had received did not come from his club president.
In fact, he didn't even know the person that had texted him, and that fact made him curse himself from an hour ago.
'Do you get it now?'
Maybe going as far as to argue with someone online about that dumb novel had not been the best of ideas, all things considered, especially if they were going to keep writing him long after he gave up on the thing.
'I did not. Guess it isn't my thing.' His own answer went out swiftly, for by now he only wanted to forget about that novel and move on with his life.
The answer he received, though, came just as fast.
'Maybe you should give it another chance?'
He snorted at such idea, already knowing that reading it again wouldn't change a thing.
'No thank you. I don't even like romcoms anyway.' And with that, he assumed the other guy would get the clue. Talking with strangers over the internet about a novel he didn't even like was not what he wanted to do for his Sunday, after all.
However, he wasn't even able to do anything before he got an answer back
'How can you not like them? RomComs are the best!'
And with that, he decided that just ignoring the guy was probably for the best. He wasn't judging them for their taste, but he was not going to argue about romantic comedies of all things with some person over the internet.
'You should know that better than anyone else, you know?'
That other message made him pause for just a second, his right eyebrow going up while his mind immediately wondered just what this person was even talking about.
'Maybe you just need help? Don't worry, I'll help you understand the wonders of RomComs! :D'
An owlish couple of blinks from himself was the only thing he did before quickly blocking the other person, not even wanting to know what they meant with 'help' in this scenario.
"Never again…" He muttered under his breath, just as he went to grab his beloved Vita to distract himself before it was time to eat dinner with his beloved sister.
And by the time he went to sleep, Hikigaya Hachiman barely even remembered the entire incident, believing that it would end up just as a weird anecdote about persistent people on the internet.
If only he had known.
"Hikigaya! You and Miura are on cleaning duty today, so you better not forget, alright?"
It had been those words that had sealed his fate, turning the end of his school day from a moment of freedom into a pain in the ass.
It wasn't even that he was bothered about cleaning up the classroom. He usually didn't mind.
It was the seething glare that he could feel at the back of his head that was making the entire thing far more hostile than it had to be.
And considering there were only one other person in the room with him right now, it wasn't hard to figure out who was looking at him as if he had personally kicked their puppy or something.
But even so, he continued with his current strategy, one that seemed to work well given that he was still alive and sweeping the floor.
Namely, to ignore one Miura Yumiko entirely in the hope that they could end their job before she decided to kill him for reasons beyond him.
Maybe it was because Hayama had been absent from class today? He wasn't sure. Not that he had cared anyway for Hayama's absence in the first place, but that had been before he learned he would have to be in a room with an obviously angry Miura.
To think he would be wishing for Hayama's presence, it was enough to make him sigh softly.
"Hikio!"
Sadly, it seemed his plan of not earning her ire had been for naught. Had she been looking for an excuse to berate him to the point simply sighing had done the trick? Because judging by her glare, it was not sweet nothings what was about to come out of her mouth.
Not that he expected such a thing given the open animosity Miura had towards him.
"Yes?" He did his best to keep his tone steady, knowing that he might just piss her off even more if she thought he was being disrespectful or anything.
And he could do without her biting his head off, thank you very much.
"Here!" She said with her arm out towards him. "Go throw this away or something."
What she was referring to was to the small plastic bag of thrash that she was almost pushing on his chest, and while it was true that someone did indeed needed to clean out the class' trashcan, it seemed she had decided that it would be him the lucky one to do it.
A part of him most certainly wanted to rebuke her, but one look at her fierce glare was enough to remove that idea from his brain.
He just preferred to save himself from the headache of arguing of course. It definitely wasn't because he was intimidated or anything like that.
Definitely…
"Right…" He finally answered as he moved to take the bag from her hand, his fingers touching hers as a result.
And if he was being honest, he kind of expected her to say something regarding the contact, like a good old 'gross' or something along those lines.
But even so, Miura said nothing, which was a welcomed reaction if he was being honest.
What did catch him by surprise though, was Miura's sudden unwillingness to release the bag that they were now both holding.
Her grip was steady, even as he pulled, which of course made his gaze travel immediately from their hands to Miura's face.
To say he was caught by surprise would be an understatement.
For if he was forced to describe it, he would find it too difficult, even for him that liked to pride himself in his ability to read others, both because of the intensity of the emotions being displayed in front of him, and because it was Miura Yumiko of all people the one that was getting emotional out of nowhere.
Then again, maybe 'emotional' was an understatement, considering the way her gaze looked glossy enough that he was sure if she blinked then tears would drop down her cheeks.
She was even shaking slightly, and both her eyes and lips where open in more than obvious shock.
It was the feelings openly displayed in her eyes though, that truly made him pause, for even when he caught her making doe eyes at Hayama, he never saw her showing so much of what he could only describe as longing.
It took him one extra second to tear his gaze from Miura's face, finally deciding to instead follow her gaze just to see if he could make sense of…whatever this was.
"You remembered…" But instead, the only thing that he found was even more confusion, followed by what could only be described as Miura's heartfelt whisper.
He didn't have time to figure out what she meant though, for his eyes were firmly locked on the apparent reason behind Miura's reaction and his now increasing confusion.
It was a bracelet.
A dark green one, that was resting right below his wrist, barely even peeking out from the sleeve of his uniform because of how his arm was raised.
And while he couldn't speak for Miura, the reason for his own reaction was obvious.
He didn't remember ever putting on such a thing on.
He didn't even remember owning a bracelet.
So why was he wearing one?
"I…!" He was only taken out of his thoughts by Miura's abruptness, with his eyes moving to her face once more after she gave a sudden step back, finally releasing the hold on the bag.
Because of this, it didn't take long for their eyes to meet.
"I-I have to go!" But before he could even say a thing, she was already moving. She walked straight past him, her schoolbag already secured over her shoulder.
"W-Wait, Miura!" And he wasn't sure why, but he found himself calling out to her just as she had reached the door. Maybe it was to try and make sense of this weird scenario? After all, Miura has seemingly recognized the bracelet, which meant she knew more about it than he did.
And considering the thing was on his arm, that was not a good sign to begin with.
But it seemed his call to her fell on deaf ears, for Miura never once stopped walking, with his eyes trailing her form until she slid open the door and left through it.
"Y-Yumiko? What's wrong-wait!"
It was only once he heard a voice that he recognized quite well that he finally moved, with the bag of trash now forgotten behind him.
"Hikki! What happened, why was Yumiko looking like she was about to cry?!"
And what greeted him were a pair of brown eyes and peach-colored hair, courtesy of one Yuigahama Yui, who was now looking at him in more than obvious worry.
Which considering she had just seen one of her friends running away and at the verge of tears, it wasn't like he could blame her.
But even so…
"I…don't know…" It was the only thing he could answer, for even as he clasped his left hand over the bracelet still resting on his right arm, he still wasn't sure about what just had happened.
Other than the thing responsible for said reaction was on him and he had no idea how it got there in the first place.
"I believe you, Hikki." Fortunately for him, Yuigahama's frown came with a nod of understanding. "But I need to find Yumiko, she looked really upset right now."
"I'll tell Yukinoshita that you're busy." He answered absentmindedly, his head still trying, and failing miserably, to make sense of what had happened. The fact that he would have to go to the club soon and probably get interrogated by Yukinoshita did not help either.
In response though, he got another confused frown from Yuigahama.
"Eh? Yukinon didn't tell you, Hikki?"
"Tell me what?" He gave her a frown of his own, now wondering if something had happened to their club president.
The response he got was Yuigahama pushing her phone to his face, with a clear message from Yukinoshita proudly on display.
It seemed Hayama wasn't the only one that missed school today.
It was hours later that he found himself walking through the streets of Chiba, his head down, one bag holding a pot of ice-cream resting on his left hand, while his right one played with the green bracelet that had made Miura look as if someone had told her Hayama had gotten a girlfriend or something.
Why had that been her reaction, he didn't know, and while he wouldn't deny being curious about it, his attention right now was on figuring out from where the thing had come from in the first place.
After all, he certainly didn't remember owning something like this, let alone deciding to wear it in the morning before going to school.
Which raised the question: Why did he had it on himself?
No matter how much he racked on his head though, no answer came to him. At least not one that didn't make him sound crazy.
Was school stress getting to him so much that he, in a moment of utter insanity, bought something like this, then decided to wear it, just to forget all about it? Sure, that didn't make even a bit of sense and it didn't explain Miura's reaction, but…
He sighed.
He had nothing
He would have to go over plan B then, which involved bribing Komachi with ice-cream to see if she could help him with some answers, like if she had ever seen the bracelet.
His wallet was hurting a bit now, but considering the attitude Komachi had shown to him this morning, it was better to be safe than sorry.
She hadn't even wanted to walk to school with him this morning, that's how angry she had been with him for reasons that were simply beyond him.
Had he actually done something to upset her that he couldn't remember? Wasn't he too young to start going senile already?
He ended up stopping his walk just to rub the bridge of his nose after pocketing the green bracelet. Considering he had found one of the tires of his bike with a hole on it this morning, today was most definitely not his day.
At the very least though, it could not get any worse or weirder, right?
"Now now, nee-chan. We just want to have some fun, no need to make a ruckus about it!"
"Touch us and I'll kill you…!"
Right…
He turned his head to his right, from where the voices had just come from. It seemed he had ended up stopping right in front of an alley, which also just happened to be barely illuminated at all.
And judging by the voices, it didn't take an expert to figure out what was going on.
"Quite the feisty one, right Aniki?"
"These are the best ones, especially when they start screaming…!"
"I'll make you both scream if you don't back off right now!"
Even ignoring the… sickening insinuation of what he was hearing, just the sleazy tone was enough to send a shiver down his spine.
Was his peaceful Chiba turning into a place someone couldn't even walk safely to their home because of some sleazebags?
Sure, he couldn't see the owner of the third voice he had heard, a girl if he had to assume judging by the tone, but it was more than obvious that she wasn't into whatever the other two were.
He looked around, hoping to find someone that could help with this before the situation turned nasty.
He found nothing but an empty street, almost making him groan in annoyance. The only reason he didn't was because he did not want to get the attention of the two men that right now were with their backs turned to him.
This, he knew, complicated things, even more so if those two were to turn violent. His available options were getting limited, especially since he had already accepted the fact that he had to do something.
He swallowed thickly as he kept watching the men shuffling around, his mind trying to come up with an idea that wouldn't make things worse, and it was only after a few seconds that he bit his lip before bringing his hand back to his pocket, an idea dumb enough that it might work finally popping up in his head.
It was at that moment that he was finally able to see a bit of the girl that was still throwing insults at the two men, his gaze clashing with hers, his eyes meeting a pair of blue ones that actually made him stop for just a second.
He recognized those.
"Excuse me." And so while steeling himself, he called out into the alley, doing his best to keep his face and voice calm.
"Huh?"
"Who the hell are you?"
And now he had their attention it seems, and judging by their glares they were all but happy to see him.
"I already called the cops." He followed quickly before they got any dangerous ideas while showing them his phone. "I did it a while ago so they're probably close by now…"
Of course, that was a lie.
He could only hope they didn't figure that one out.
"Shit!" And it seemed the smaller one bought it up immediately, so his gaze moved to the larger one of the duo, who was instead simply glaring down at him with such an intensity that it almost made him give a step back.
He knew that would be a mistake though, so he simply looked back, hoping that his proclaimed rotten eyes would do something good for him for once.
So when the guy didn't say a thing, but started moving towards him, it only made warning bells ring in his head.
However, as it seemed today wouldn't be a completely horrible day, it was the sound of police sirens the ones that broke the silence between them.
"Fuck!"
He did not know to which deity to thank for such a struck of luck, but it was only after the two men ran pass him, leaving the dark alley immediately after hearing the sirens that he left out a calming breath.
His bluff had worked out, albeit barely, but right now he was just happy for not being beat up by a couple of thugs.
"Haa-chan!"
Not that he was given proper time to relax though, since the next thing he felt was a small, silver-haired missile of a girl crashing right into his stomach with enough force to make his eye go wide in shock.
An action that, once more, made his eyes clash with the blue eyes of his classmate. Luckily, the days of him forgetting her name were far beyond him, or else this moment would have been far more awkward than it already was.
And not nothing what else today given the situation, he blurted the first thing that came to his mind.
"Yo, Kawasaki."
"I'm sorry about your ice-cream…"
"It's fine…" He responded with a shrug. "She probably needed it more than me anyway."
He then looked at the one responsible for his lack of bribe, seeing Keika asleep soundly on Kawasaki's back as if minutes prior she hadn't been in quite the bad spot alongside her sister.
Having to sacrifice his ice-cream to help calm down Keika, he couldn't say he regretted it even a bit given the circumstances.
"I'll pay you back." But even so, as they walked side by side, Kawasaki's stubbornness rang true. "For everything, I'll pay you back..."
And now he knew it wasn't just the ice-cream she was talking about.
A part of him wanted to tell her that she didn't owe him anything. That anyone would have helped and that given the situation, she had no reason to feel guilty.
But he also knew those words would just fall on deaf ears.
He might not know Kawasaki that well, but even he understood that she had her pride, both as a person and as an older sister, and today's situation had certainly damaged both.
And if he had to bet, she was probably more upset about Keika's safeness than her own today.
Or at least, that's how he knew he would have felt if something similar had happened with him and Komachi.
"I'm sure you could have handle them on your own." He said, cutting down the silence with what he knew was him throwing her a bone, albeit a lame one all things considered.
When he got no answer back, he threw another side-glance, worrying for a moment that he had made things worse somehow.
The small, almost invisible smile she had on her lips fortunately told him otherwise, although no words followed such reaction after it.
He was fine with the silence though, for he could only imagine the kind of stuff going through her head right now. Not like he himself was the most talkative person anyway, and he already had a feeling that trying to bring up the subject would only end up with Kawasaki shutting him down.
At the very least, they didn't live that far away from one another, so this detour that he was taking for the sake of being sure they got to their home without any more issues wasn't really a problem, although that hadn't stopped Kawasaki from complaining when he had brought the idea prior.
Fortunately, Kawasaki could not say no to Keika, who had been firmly on the 'I want Haa-chan with us!' camp.
In the end, it was in silence that they finally reached the Kawasaki household, with both of them standing right outside her house. Kawasaki herself, however, seemed to be struggling with something, given the way her eyes were moving between himself and the door of her home.
"See you tomorrow, Kawasaki." He decided to throw her another bone, not wanting this to turn into a gratitude festival, or for her to feel guilty for not inviting him in or anything like that. It was already getting late anyway, and considering the day he had, the only thing he wanted to do right now was to finally hit the bed.
So when Kawasaki said nothing back, but instead kept looking down at the ground, he simply started walking away from her after giving her one last nod. He didn't know if she would bring this day up with him tomorrow or at any point, or if she would just rather forget it all. That would be up to her and whatever her pride decided for-
"W-wait, Hikigaya!" Her sudden shout though, was enough to stop him in his track, both mentally and physically, as he turned around to give her a raised-eyebrow.
And even though it was dark already, he could see the way her cheeks were red. Was she that embarrassed? If so, she shouldn't force herself to thank him once again, even if her stubbornness was demanding for her to-
"What kind of girls do you like?"
What kind of question was that?!
To say it was the last thing he expected to hear today, let alone from Kawasaki, would be an understatement, and he was pretty sure it must have shown in his face given how much the question had surprised him.
It wasn't just the question itself that caught him by surprise though, but rather the implication of asking something like that given the circumstances.
A question like that, after all, could be a loaded one depending on who was asking. If it had been a Ryaju, then maybe he could have passed it down as just sheer interest, or gossip for the sake of gossip.
If it had been someone more extrovert, then maybe he could have argued the person was asking in place of someone else, like a friend who was too shy to ask or something like that.
But coming from Kawasaki, a known loner? Someone that would only ask that out of personal interest? What was he supposed to assume in a situation such as this, especially after he had helped her today?
Surely, that hadn't been enough to change Kawasaki's opinion on him by that much, right? Because if he didn't know any better, and after hearing a question like that, he would have thought that Kawasaki liked-
"Tch, you don't want to tell me? Fine, I'll find out by myself then."
He was taken out of his thoughts by Kawasaki's following words, which only made his shock even more pronounced. Specially because of the look she gave him right after.
It was a glare filled with so much determination that he actually found himself gulping the saliva in his mouth.
He was left rooted on the spot, even as Kawasaki disappeared inside her home.
And even once he finally started moving towards his own abode, his mind was still trying, and failing miserably, to make sense at things.
"Finally, we were waiting for you!" Those were the words that greeted him once he entered his home, with the person responsible looking at him with a look that could only be described as 'tired'.
"Mom…?" He was surprised though, for he did not expect to see his mother so soon. She was usually working at this time, same with dad, so her presence was more than a bit surprising. "Shouldn't you be at work?"
"I asked for the day." She answered as if it was obvious, but in his defense that was something she almost never did, so of course he was surprised! "Now go take a shower and put this on, we're going to have important guests today."
"Wait, what?" He was barely able to blur that out before she pushed some clothes on him, a set far more expensive looking than what he usually wore, and then followed up by practically pushing him upstairs to where the bathroom was. "Since when do we even have guests?!"
"Since now." Her answer only made him grunt in annoyance. Was this another part of the corporate world that his parents now wanted to be a part off? "Now do it fast, they'll be waiting for you and I don't want to make them wait."
"Waiting for me? What do you…" His words died on his throat though, for his mom had already gone back downstairs, making him sigh tiredly. It seemed he would not get to rest anytime soon.
Hearing the sound of a door opening, he turned his gaze to it, getting a look at his dear Komachi poking her head out of her room, with an obviously annoyed look in her face that didn't suit her at all.
"Hey-" He was shut down by Komachi pretty much slamming her door close, prompting another sigh to leave his lips. She was obviously still upset, and he had no idea why.
He also had no ice-cream to use as bribe.
A calming bath didn't sound so bad now.
"C'mon, Hachiman. They're waiting for us!" Even after finally dressing up, which now made him look like one of those figurines at the top of a wedding cake, his mom continued with her previous strategy of pushing him to make him move faster, although the only thing it did was almost making him stumble down the stairs of their house.
"You're acting as if we were meeting the Prime Minister or something." He grumbled at her, seeing that he wasn't the only one that had dressed for the seemingly important occasion.
"You aren't that far off…" He actually heard her mumbling under her breath, which made him give her an incredulous look, but before he could say anything he was greeted by another look from his mom.
Only that this one was filled with obvious concern.
"Hachiman." Even her tone was laced with worry, which wasn't something that he was used to seeing or hearing from his head-strong mom, at least not when aimed at him. "Just know that…your grandfather did this because he cared, alright?"
"What are you…?" Why was she suddenly bringing that old man that he couldn't even remember by now? And what did he have to do with…anything, to be honest?
He wasn't able to voice out his questions though, since next thing he knew he was roughly pushed by his mother, putting him right in front to the entrance of their living room, right on view of a pair of eyes, belonging to the two guests they seemingly had today.
And while he didn't have any specific expectation as to who it would be, besides them apparently being important, nothing could have prepared for who they were.
After all, the first thing his eyes did were to match gaze with a pair of deep blue ones, ones that he knew very well, for he had seen them almost daily for more than a year now.
Yukinoshita Yukino was sitting in his living room, wearing a dress that not only made her look even more beautiful than usual, but he was sure also cost more than his entire home.
His mouth opened and closed, although no sound came out from it, but whether that was because of the shock of having his club president suddenly in his living room, or because of how she looked, he wasn't sure right now.
What he could say though, was that the look she was giving him wasn't helping him in the slightest. After all, he was used to her usual frosty looks of superiority or barely hidden contempt, it was what he usually expected, but right now?
Well, it was hard to describe, but the shine in her eyes, alongside the small flush of her cheeks, was enough to make his own one's heat up slightly.
A melodic, chuckling sound was what finally took him out of his staring contest with Yukinoshita, with his embarrassment growing as he moved his gaze towards the other person in the room.
And who he found was an older looking, but no less beautiful, version of Yukinoshita Yukino.
"I'm glad you seem to approve of my daughter, Hikigaya Hachiman-kun." The woman, Yukinoshita's mom apparently, greeted him with a smile that he could only describe as charming, but the glint in her eyes made him feel as if she was analyzing his every movement. "She has told me a lot about you, so I'm glad I can finally put a face to such tales…"
His eyes moved back to Yukinoshita, almost as if to ask her silently what her mom was even talking about, but the only thing he got was her looking down in apparent embarrassment, pretty much confirming what her mother has said.
"Please, Hachiman-kun, do take a seat." It was the older Yukinoshita who spoke once more, pretty much acting as if this was her home and he was the guest with the way she pointed at the seat opposite of where she was sitting. "We have…much to discuss."
There was something in her voice too, he realized, that made him feel far, far more nervous than anything else he had faced today.
And that included when he had almost gotten beat up!
So he simply followed her lead and took a seat, his eyes now never leaving her.
What followed that day was a very long, very tedious explanation about a lot of things that he believed he would never have deal with it, things that sounded like only really rich people had to bother with.
Things that he was apparently now being thrown in head first.
And the reason? Well, to make a long story short.
He was now engaged to Yukinoshita Yukino.
I wanted to write an Oregairu fic for a long time, so this is my way of torturing 8man a bit. The point of this fic is to throw our good protagonist into as many clichés from the, arguably way too many, light novels that I have read, and see if that ends up as entertaining to read.
Already hinted to a few of them here, and one has 'started' already so to speak, and there will be far more of them to come with the different girls of Oregairu. What girls? I don't know, maybe all of them! I'll even keep a list at the end of every chapter of the character and the, let's say, 'title' of their particular romantic comedy.
Thank you all for reading this far. Hope you enjoyed!
Next Chapter: But wait, there's more!
Plots so far:
1) Yukinoshita Yukino: "Because of my grandfather, my high-class Club President suddenly became my fiancée."
