Chapter 9
Ed shivered as a particularly cold and strong gust of wind whistled through the surrounding trees, the day's earlier warmth now seeming like nothing but a distant memory. A warm body pressed gently against his side, almost as though attempting to shield him from the frigid night. Ed gratefully leaned against Roy; his guardian's soft fur was a stark contrast to the cold and stiff form that his head currently rested against. Sadness coursed through him at the thought that, unlike the fleeting memories of the feeling of the warm sun hovering above in the pale blue sky, there were some memories that would stay with him forever.
Ed could very clearly remember the battle with the scientists earlier that day, The Pack rallying together in their desperate attempt to secure their freedom. But like with most fights over something so precious and treasured, there had been losses along the way. Ed thought back to his dear friend Sammy, who had died to save him, and to the elderly and enigmatic chimera named Twenty two. Both had lost their lives today, and Ed promised silently to Sammy's lifeless body below that he would never forget either of them.
Star had been the one to suggest holding a small vigil, sharing one last night with their fallen friends outside of the lab that they had fought to be free of. Ed recalled how The Pack had worked together to maneuver the limp and awkward bodies of the dead carefully up the spiral stairs and out into the world beyond the basement. He had wanted so desperately to help them, but Roy had held him back and glanced at his bandaged shoulder and side, worried that the day old wounds could reopen and cause him unnecessary pain. In the end Roy had taken Ed's place, helping the others as he propped Sammy's cold body under his shoulder and up the metal stairs.
Since then the day had turned to night, obscuring most of the world around him from view, but Ed knew thought that the other chimeras were still there, soft breaths rising from slumbering bodies nearby even as the occasional gust of wind rattled the leafless tree branches above. The area that The Pack now rested in was a small clearing that sat a few yards from the lab. Trees and bushes surrounded them on all sides, helping to block the sight of their former prison as well as to keep out the worst of the night's breeze. Ed felt safe here, the looming trees overhead feeling like protective claws that shielded him from the world beyond this small expanse of woodland.
As another small breath of cold air passed through his fur, Ed huddled even closer to Roy, not just to ward off the chill but also for the comfort of a warm living body to combat the cold of Sammy's stiff form. This was the first time the two of them were able to properly curl up against each other without the presence of metal cage bars, and both took full advantage of this new and comforting luxury.
But there were still some things that Roy just couldn't help him with at the moment. Ed still longed to cry over his dead friend, but his tears had long since dried up. And no matter how many times his guardian would lap comfortingly at the few that had dried on his cheeks, grief still tore away at his heart like a wild animal, causing him more pain than he had felt in a long time.
He had barely spoken to anyone since Sammy had taken his last breath, not even to Roy who had tried so desperately to get him to open up. There were just no words that he could think of to explain his despair, the absolute and agonizing heartache that he had hoped to never experience again…and so silence was his answer. But Ed knew that his own sad and solitary silence was only making Roy grow more and more worried, but right now saying nothing just felt right to him.
From a few feet away he heard Star sob quietly, breaking him from his own depressive musings as the silver chimera hunched her shoulders miserably. She sat in between the bodies of her two fallen friends, the large and still rather intimidating form of William by her side as he gently nuzzled her ragged ears. Star had been the one to carefully clean Sammy and Twenty two's bloodied fur, even pulling out the knife that had kill the latter from his side as she bore her own grief in relative silence. Ed sympathized with the silver chimera, but he knew that he could never truly comprehend her pain completely. He couldn't imagine how hard it was for her to lose two of her closest and dearest friends…
The sudden realization that he wasn't suffering completely on his own brought Ed the strength and incentive to finally voice his feelings aloud for the first time since Sammy and Twenty two had been laid out on the soft grass below. He took in a deep and quavering breath, nearly choking on the lump of grief that seemed to be lodged deep within his throat as he spoke.
"Ed will miss Sammy so much…" Ed rasped, his voice rough and sounding as though it hadn't been used in a long time. He felt Roy jump at his side, seemingly startled by the sudden sound of Ed's broken voice. His tensed muscles quickly relaxed, his guardian seeming to take a moment to compose himself before he too spoke up.
"Roy will miss him too," Roy's voice was somber, but Ed could hear the relief in his guardian's tone. "Sammy was a very good friend and was very brave for doing what he did. Without Sammy, Roy and Ed would still be trapped with the rest of The Pack in that basement. Sammy died a true hero."
"H-He…He did…" Ed managed to choke out, his grief once again threatening to sweep him away into the depths of the ocean that was his despair. He grew silent once again, taking in deep breaths as he tried to keep himself from drowning in his sorrow once more.
"Oh, Ed…" Roy trailed off sadly; his voice forlorn as he gently nuzzled the back of Ed's neck and lapped at his ear. His guardian almost sounded as lost and sad as Ed felt, but he knew it was because of a different reason. "Ed knows that Sammy's death was not his fault, right?"
Ed grew tense for a moment, despite the comforting gesture, feeling guilt and sorrow begin to war within him once more. Were his true emotions that easily picked up by others? If so, did his fellow chimeras blame him for the deaths of their friends like he himself did? Before Ed could begin to panic though he remembered that Roy was the one that knew him the best, of course he would know how he was feeling deep down, to be able to see through him like he were made of glass. Before Ed could think of a response though, his guardian took the chance to continue on.
"Sammy knew what he was doing…he knew that his chances of survival were slim." Roy's voice was as soft and gentle as the wind whispering through the fallen leaves that lay scattered upon the ground around them. "Even if Sammy had lived, he could never have been human again."
"But Ed and Roy don't know that…" Ed trailed off as his voice ended in a sad and sullen whimper. He tried to reel in his emotions once more, taking deep breaths in order to keep himself from wailing his heartbreak aloud. "Sammy himself didn't truly know…"
"Sammy said so himself, and he knew himself the best." Roy's voice remained calm even though Ed could still pick up the subtle hints of sorrow in his tone. His guardian's warm and solid presence next to him almost lulled him into a contented and relaxed state, but the cold body of Sammy resting under his chin kept him grounded in the harsh present. "What kind of life could Sammy have lived outside of the lab?"
"He could have lived much longer!" While Ed had intended for his voice to be loud and angry, it came out as a choked and bitter sob. Tears blurred his vision as memories of his deceased friend flickered in his mind like butterflies dancing on a warm spring breeze. "Sammy didn't need to die! Ed could have…"
"Ed knows as well as Roy, and Sammy, that he would be trapped as a dog forever…and Sammy didn't want that. Would you?" Roy's voice was still gentle yet firm as he pulled away from Ed just enough so he was able to look into his eyes. While the darkness of night obscured most of his guardian's face the sad yet resolute gleam in his onyx gaze was as clear as day.
Ed turned his head away, not wanting those familiar and scrutinizing eyes to continue staring through him as though he were made of mist. He felt Sammy's limp fur brush against his chin and Ed held back his sorrow for what seemed like the hundredth time that day.
Of course Sammy's death was his fault, and no amount of false reassurance or pleasant lies would get him to think otherwise. If Sammy hadn't leapt to his aid…hadn't taken that bullet…there was no denying that his friend would still be among the living. It didn't matter in the slightest if Sammy had really intended to die a martyr, the truth of the situation loomed over him like a large and solid wall of jagged stone: Ed had been the cause of his friend's death…Ed had killed Sammy.
Yes, Sammy's death hadn't been by his hand, but he had had just as much a part in it as the man who had pulled the trigger. Ed knew he could have done more instead of freezing in terror like trapped prey…he should have done more…If only he had just mustered up the courage to run away, to simply move, or to even attempt to take down his attacker…if he had just done something, anything, then Sammy would still be alive and the world would feel right.
But the harsh truth was that Sammy was dead, and any chance of finding out if he could have been returned to normal had died along with him. Nothing mattered now…neither Sammy's true motives or Ed's lingering guilt…nothing mattered anymore, and all that had meant so much to him was cold and dead…never to walk among the living again…
"Ed, stop blaming Sammy's death on something he had no control over. Yes, Sammy died to save Ed; to save all The Pack…Sammy did it for a reason…" Ed finally returned his full attention to Roy as he heard his guardian's voice catch in his throat. Such anguish had suddenly filled Roy's voice, his dark eyes growing cloudy with sadness. "If…If Ed had been the one to die…if Ed was gone…what would Roy have done then?"
Ed felt completely stunned, even more than he would have been if a branch from one of the looming trees overhead had fallen and struck him. Had…Had Sammy really thought that far ahead? Had he known that in saving Ed, saving just a single life, would keep another alive as well? Had Sammy died not only for Ed…but for Roy too?
A grainy yet fairly recent memory played back in Ed's mind, from back when he and Roy were still human. He could remember sobbing at his guardian's side, having lost all strength and hope…waiting and longing for death…and how Roy had cried alongside him as he told Ed that if he were to die, then so would he.
And then Ed had died…He remembered clearly the absolute agony reflected in those onyx eyes as the world around him faded away…Then the sight of joy and endless relief in Roy's gaze when Ed had fully awoken the next day in a weak and confused daze, wondering how he was still alive…For good or bad, Ed and Roy's fates were intertwined, one could not…would not…live without the other…
While that thought filled him with fear at the responsibility he now carried…it also brought him a sense of warm relief to know Roy truly cared for him that much.
"Ed knows how much Roy loves him…Sammy not only saved Ed, but he saved Roy too…" Roy's voice was a low whisper, but Ed heard it as clearly as if his guardian had howled it into the night. Such sorrow and relief radiating from him in waves that it made Ed want to curl as close to him as he could, to never leave his side. "So please, Pup…please just keep living, for Roy and for Sammy…"
Sudden warmth flooded through Ed for the first time that day as he gazed at his guardian with nothing but love in his eyes. As he suddenly lapped softly at Roy's cheek the black furred chimera stared at him in confusion before Ed spoke up. "So, not Ed anymore? Ed is still Pup, even though Sammy is gone?"
Immediately Roy flinched as though he'd been physically struck, his eyes gleaming with embarrassment for a moment before he turned his head away. Ed watched with growing amusement as his guardian's fur bristled and more heat seemed to radiate from his pelt. "R-Roy…Roy m-meant to say…Well, Ed s-still is…Roy cares a lot f-for Ed…"
Ed gently lapped at one of Roy's folded ears, almost laughing aloud when his guardian jumped slightly as Ed buried his muzzle deep into Roy's soft fur. "There is no need to be embarrassed…Ed has grown to like the name Sammy gave him, and is glad that he gets to keep it. It makes Ed feel like Sammy lives on in one small way."
Roy finally returned his gaze, hope and relief glowing in his eyes when he realized that Ed was telling him the truth. His guardian smiled as he pressed his own muzzle firmly against Ed's, nothing but pure love in his voice as he spoke once more. "If Ed really likes the name that much, then Roy will say it whenever he can."
For the first time since the transmutation that had forcefully stolen their humanity away, Ed curled as close as he could possibly get to Roy, glad that the thick metal bars were now a thing of the past. He buried his muzzle deeply into the black fur along his neck, breathing in his guardian's familiar and comforting scent as Roy returned the gesture.
With his head now resting comfortably against a warm and living body, Ed felt the worst of his grief and guilt slowly melt away like frost in the first light of a new day. He closed his eyes and settled more comfortably on the cool ground, feeling grass and leaves shift below him. Ed slowly drifted to sleep as he listened to his guardian's soft and gentle breaths, knowing that as long as Roy was by his side, then there was still a reason to keep living. Something still truly mattered in this world after all.
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The sun was just beginning to rise over the leafless treetops, hovering in the pale blue sky as Roy and Ed, alongside Star, William, Colin, and Cale walked through the autumn woodland. The air was surprisingly warm, whisking amber leaves along the ground and rattling the leaf bare branches above, but the warmth did nothing to ease the cold grip of grief on Roy's heart as he remembered where the group was returning from.
They had all just finished in their sad and grueling task of burying Sammy and Twenty two in a small grove hidden within a circle of old oak trees, Star and Ed agreeing that this tranquil clearing was well suited to be their fallen friend's final resting place. Ed had then begun to help with the digging, but Roy soon reminded his pup of his injuries from before the escape. The golden chimera had only growled in annoyance, tearing up his bandages in a rage before returning to the task at hand, his pelt bristling with anger.
After that the group had then gone on to dig the graves in a somber silence that was occasionally broken by a small sob from Star, or a hitched breath of pain from Ed. Towards the end his pup had stepped away, his old wounds sluggishly oozing blood in some places, as he sought out various stones and fallen tree branches to mark the graves with. Once they had completely finished, Ed had tied his torn bandages around the single thick branch that showed where Sammy and Twenty two's remains now rested. As the cloth fluttered in the light breeze they had set off, back to their makeshift camp, knowing that The Pack would always remember the sacrifices that their two friends had made to ensure their freedom.
Though Roy could feel the dirt beneath his claws shift uncomfortably with each step, wanting nothing more than to stop and try to clear away the course soil, he continued on and did his best to ignore the discomfort. There were more pressing matters that required his attention at the moment.
Anna had been the one to call for a meeting of every pack member, agreeing to wait until after the burial to start, insisting that they now had to plan ahead for a future free of the lab. The Pack had agreed to her demand, knowing that something needed to be done to hold them together now that Sammy was no longer there to lead them. Roy had no clue as to what lay ahead for The Pack now, but he knew one thing for certain: He would do whatever it took to keep himself and his pup together and safe from harm.
He glanced at Ed from out of the corner of his eye, feeling sadness course through him when he saw his pup's head hanging low and heavy with sorrow, his shoulders hunched with grief. He then noticed that Ed was limping slightly as his newly reopened injuries began to cause him pain. Roy leaned closer to the tawny chimera, pressing against him to help ease the pain of his wounds as he gently nudged Ed's uninjured side with his shoulder. His pup turned his head to look towards him, golden eyes sparkling with unshed tears as he leaned heavily against Roy with a low whimper. Roy knew that Ed would mourn Sammy for a long time, but he hoped that his pup would eventually come to terms with his friend's passing and learn to cope with the sorrow and loss as he would have done had he remained human.
But for now, Roy knew that it was best to give him time and love until that day arrived.
"All will be fine, Pup." He was happy to see Ed's turned back ears perk up slightly at the use of Sammy's nickname for him, some tension lifting from his boney shoulders as he continued. "Remember that Roy will always be here for him, no matter what happens next."
Roy longed to say more to comfort his pup, but as the group finally pushed through the dry and brittle brush that surrounded their makeshift camp, he saw that he wouldn't have the chance. Anna sat in the center of the clearing, surrounded by The Pack, who had formed a ragged circle around her with Faye at her side. She nodded in acknowledgement to the small group once they had all emerged from the undergrowth.
"Anna has been waiting." The dark furred chimera said with a quick flick of her tail, motioning for them to take a seat towards the back of the gathered chimeras. "Sit, please. Anna has something important to tell."
Roy and Ed sat down in the tougher grass that ringed the edges of the clearing, Star and William taking a seat nearby, the two sharing a knowing look. Cale and Colin began to cut through the crowd, trying to get closer to Anna as she began to address The Pack.
"Now that Sammy is dead, another will need to lead The Pack." Anna's voice was strong and had an authority to it as she cast her intense blue gaze around the gathered chimeras that surrounded her on all sides. Roy knew that tone of voice quite well, he himself having used it back when he was human, and he knew what the dark furred chimera's next words would be. "Anna believes that she should take on Sammy's old role."
Most of the feral chimeras barely seemed to understand or really care as they almost mindlessly nodded agreement amongst themselves, not willing to argue at all. Cale and Faye voiced their upmost support, Colin joining in on their jubilant cry, which was of no real surprise to Roy. He remained silent though, alongside Ed, and was slightly shocked to see that Star and William were just as quiet and reserved as they were, exchanging doubtful and curious glances.
Roy knew that he no longer wished to remain with The Pack, feeling that he had never really belonged to it anyway. If he and Ed stood a chance of finding their friends and returning to normal, they needed to do it alone and without the distraction of others. This was something that only the two of them could do.
Still, Roy glanced down at his pup, wanting to see his reaction. Ed was looking at him, not a single doubt in his golden gaze as he pressed closer against his side with a small nod of support. Roy smiled, now knowing for certain that his pup was thinking the same thing, and he was grateful to have Ed's complete trust as he lapped gently at his ear.
Above the enthusiastic voices of support, Star lightly cleared her throat, catching the attention of every chimera as she slowly stood before speaking. "Star believes that Anna will make a fine leader for The Pack. Anna is tough and smart, but Star will not be staying to see her lead. Star wishes to set out on her own, to figure things out about this new and strange life."
Anna's expression was one of shock and sadness, looking as though her friend had tried to physically attack her. A few other feral chimeras began to mutter doubtfully to themselves as Anna gazed at Star with confusion and hurt in her eyes. "But Star is a very important member of The Pack. Anna and the others will need her wisdom to help guide them. How could Anna leave her behind?"
"This is something Star must do," The striped gray chimera said regretfully as she slowly and sadly shook her head. "Sammy and Twenty two are gone now…Star's dearest friends…Star needs time to mourn their deaths, needs time to figure out a life without them. Star is so sorry to Anna, but she needs to understand Star's reasons."
As Anna bowed her head in somber acceptance, Cale and Colin shared a sorrowful glance as William rose to his paws. While he towered over Star, his demeanor was sympathetic as he stooped to lap gently at her ragged ears before speaking. "It is too dangerous for Star to travel the wilderness alone. William will join her and keep her safe. William misses friends as well, some time to wander and think would help him too."
Star gazed gratefully up at the brown furred chimera, her eyes glistening as she nodded her agreement. Anna looked sadly at the two of them before taking a deep and grounding breath, nodding her own head in a sorrowful acceptance. "Anna wishes Star and William the best of luck. She hopes that maybe one day they will meet again under better circumstances."
Anna's blue gaze then sought out Roy and Ed, her eyes glittering with sadness and curiosity as she looked intently at the two of them. "Roy and his pup stay silent as well…They will be leaving too?"
"Yes," Roy said with a respectful nod, seeing Ed shoot him a grateful glance from out of the corner of his eye as he spoke for both of them. "Roy and Ed plan to search for their human friends with the hopes of becoming human once more. If they succeed then they will seek out The Pack and help them become human again too."
Colin gazed longingly at Roy, his eyes glowing eagerly as he bowed his head to them. For a moment Anna gazed in wonderment at him, wistful memories flickering in her eyes like minnows in a brilliant blue pond before she shook her fantastical thoughts away. "Then Anna wishes Roy and his pup well, and she hopes they will accomplish their task. Until then though, goodbye, maybe one day The Pack will all meet again as they set out on their own journeys. Anna calls this meeting to an end…let us say our last goodbyes."
With that the gathering broke up, Anna pushing her way through the crowd as she stood before Star with tears glittering in her eyes. The black furred chimera then fiercely pressed her muzzle to Star's cheek, closing her eyes and letting her tears fall as the striped gray chimera nuzzled her back. "Anna will miss Star so much…Star has helped Anna in more ways than she will ever know…"
Cale stood supportively beside his mate, nodding a silent farewell to William as Colin weaved his way around them, stopping eagerly in front of Roy. His brown eyes were wide and full of hope as he touched his nose gently to Roy's shoulder. "Colin really hopes Roy and Ed will find a way to return to normal. Colin can't wait for the day when he is able to see his family once more. Until then though, goodbye."
Roy and Ed both said their farewells, standing beside Star and William as The Pack moved among them one final time, murmuring words of encouragement and luck. While most of the words shared had little effect on Roy and Ed, he nearly teared up as Star held back a sob when she had said goodbye to Faye. The young chimera seemed confused and expressed much sorrow at the thought of leaving her friend behind. Once every chimera had gotten a chance to say their goodbyes, Anna gathered The Pack with a flick of her long and elegant tail. The dark furred chimera glanced sadly back at them before taking a deep breath and leading The Pack away and into the undergrowth, leaving the four of them behind.
"William knows Anna has a chance at being a great leader." The large chimera said quietly once the last chimera had completely disappeared into the brush. His lilac eyes narrowed thoughtfully as he watched the dead branches and fallen leaves of the bushes tremble in the wake left by The Pack. "But William worries that all that power will consume Anna…turn her into a leader who rules more by fear than compassion."
"Star worries that too, but now they must trust that Anna will make the right choices without them." The striped chimera nodded at William before turning her attention to Roy and Ed. "Star thinks Roy would make a better leader, but she knows that is not what he wants."
"All Roy wants to do is keep his pup safe as they search for their friends." Roy said sincerely as he bowed his head, humbled that this wise chimera had such faith in him. "If they find a way to fix themselves, they will seek Star and William out."
"No need to bother." William scoffed in a bitter and resigned acceptance. "William and Star know they are too far gone to be saved…but they thank Roy and Ed for their offer."
"Yes, Star is a dog now forever, but she is no longer sad about it." Star said as she nodded respectfully to Roy before turning her attention to Ed, who seemed startled by the intense yet sorrowful gleam to her pale blue eyes. "Young one…Star knows that Pup blames himself for Sammy's death, but know that Star and the others do not and never will. Sammy died to save Ed, yes, but Star knew Sammy well…and knows that he did it for a reason. Star believes that Sammy can still see them, he watches over them even in death, and he would want Ed to live a good life without him. Live for Sammy young one…don't let him have died for nothing."
Ed's eyes glittered with fresh grief as Star gently pressed her muzzle to his, his pup returning the gesture as the gray striped chimera pulled him closer with one paw. Roy knew that the two of them had been the closest to Sammy, and he was grateful that another understood Ed's sorrow and knew that Sammy's death had been a tragic accident.
Star then pulled away from Ed, lapping fondly at his ears before turning to William. The large chimera nodded in response to her silent question, patting the top of Ed's head with one large paw before bowing his head respectfully to Roy. Roy returned the gesture as the four of them said their silent farewells before Star and William turned and left the clearing, heading in the opposite direction The Pack had taken.
Roy looked down at Ed, watching his pup wipe at his tear filled eyes as the other two chimeras vanished into the undergrowth. He was suddenly very aware that they were the only ones left in the clearing, separated completely from The Pack for the first time since their transformation. At first panic and fear of the unknown threatened to take over, before Roy remembered that Ed was counting on him…and him alone. He needed to stay strong for his pup, even if the world around them seemed hostile and strange.
He gently nuzzled his pup, lapping fondly at his ears as Ed turned his forlorn and sorrowful gaze to Roy, tears now slowly sliding down his face. A strong surge of protectiveness washed over him at the sight, and at that moment he knew that he would do anything and everything in his power to keep Ed safe.
"Everything will be alright, Ed." Roy said in a gentle voice as his gaze wandered towards the southernmost edge of the vacant clearing. He could see where the brush was thin and flattened along a muddy trail of tire tracks, more than likely being the road that led away from the lab. If they were to follow it, then maybe they would be able to find their friends. It was a long shot for sure, but it was all they had at this point.
"Roy thinks they will have the best chance of finding their human friends if they follow the road leading away from the lab." Roy looked back down at his pup, seeing that Ed was looking back in the opposite direction, back towards the lab…and back to where they had buried Sammy. He leaned supportively against his pup, resting his muzzle on the top of Ed's head as Roy followed his gaze. "Star is right…Sammy died so that Ed could live. Don't let it have happened for nothing…Ed must move on and try to find a way to return to normal along with Roy."
He felt Ed nod as he buried his muzzle deeply into the fur of Roy's chest, and he held his pup close as Ed began to sob. Roy gently wrapped his tail around Ed's thin body, letting his pup lean into him heavily as he gave his sorrow and anguish a voice. "Everything is okay…Roy will keep his pup safe, no matter what happens."
"But what if Roy dies like Sammy?" Ed wailed into his chest, hot tears seeping through Roy's fur as his pup continued to cry. "There is no way Roy can know what will happen next! What if Ed gets him killed too?"
"Ed," Roy said in a calm yet authoritative voice that brought with it a distant memory of him using the same tone with Ed while they were still human. The rest of the memory was nothing but a hazy blur, but he clearly remembered that it had brought his pup back to his senses, even back then. "It is not his fault that Sammy died, what's done is done. And yes, anything can happen out here in the wild, but Roy knows that he will do all he can to stay by Ed's side. Roy and Ed will find their friends and become human again, he knows that for certain."
His words seemed to soothe Ed, his tense muscles slowly relaxing as Roy held him as close to himself as he physically could. He remained still as he let his pup gradually calm down, Ed's sobs slowly turning into deep but occasionally hitched breaths as he let all his sorrow leave his body. They stayed that way for a while, until his pup had finally completely calmed, and even then Roy was reluctant to let him go.
"Thanks…" Ed's voice wavered slightly as he reeled back his troubled emotions, sounding much more in control than before. "Ed loves Roy…he never wants him to leave…wants him here with Ed forever."
"Then Roy will never leave." Roy said simply in a stubborn tone, receiving a small snort of laughter from his pup as they broke apart. He gazed at Ed, glad to see that while his pup's eyes were still damp and slightly bloodshot; his golden gaze was once again determined and optimistic.
"Let's head out and see how far Roy and Ed can get before nightfall." Ed nodded as Roy turned towards the road that led through the woods. With his pup by his side, Roy led the two of them away from the clearing and all its somber memories, heading south and away from the lab. They were truly on their own now, but together they could face any challenge that the wilds threw at them.
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The sun had gradually begun to set in the clear blue sky above as Ed and Roy made their way through the slowly darkening woodland. The two of them walked quietly through the sparse undergrowth that lined the muddy tire trail, occasionally hearing the sound of a rustled leaf or the sharp crack of a snapped twig underpaw. The forest around them was growing denser, the leafless trees beginning to mix with large and strikingly green spruces. Until now Ed had never known just how isolated the lab was, that it could be hidden amongst such natural beauty while keeping such dark and horrible secrets deep within.
Ed still didn't know just how far he and Roy had gotten away from that hell and its terrible memories, but they had made it quite far for two tired, half starved –and in his case, injured– chimeras. And while his muscles ached from the exertion and he occasionally felt a twinge of pain radiate from his wounded shoulder, he did his best to ignore it. All Ed wanted to do was leave the lab and his depressing memories far behind him.
Roy had remained relatively silent throughout their trek, casting Ed the occasional worried look or brushing his tail along his side reassuringly as he led them through the forest, walking confidently as though he knew exactly where they were going. His guardian seemed as eager as Ed himself was to keep going, saving his breath for their journey instead of keeping up a conversation. Ed was grateful for the silence for once; it gave him some time to be alone with his thoughts and conflicting emotions.
He just couldn't keep himself from thinking of Sammy and how he so desperately longed onged to have his friend alive and well by his side. Was it really okay to let go of his grief so soon after Sammy had died, even if his friend would have wanted him to? Ed felt like he should mourn forever, guilty at the thought of ever feeling happy again when his friend would never be able to experience that same emotion. He felt like he was betraying Sammy by moving on so quickly…Sammy had died for him, shouldn't he hold onto his grief for the rest of his life as punishment for what he had done?
And even though the sting of Sammy's death seemed to hurt less and less as they walked away from where his friend had taken his last breath, the guilt had yet to fade in the slightest. Star's words to him earlier played back in his mind…but how could she know for sure that Sammy would want Ed to let him go so easily? To think of his brave and kindhearted friend as nothing but a fleeting memory…to be reduced to nothing more than dust in the wind…
Ed was so lost in his sad and confusing thoughts that he hadn't even realized that Roy had come to a complete stop until he had nearly slammed into his guardian's haunches. Ed looked up at Roy, becoming confused when he saw that his dark eyes had grown wide with concern. He wanted to push past his guardian and continue to walk farther away from the source of his distress, but he remained still as Roy spoke up.
"Ed," The dark furred chimera's voice sounded strange after such a long bout of silence. As Ed cocked his head to one side in curiosity, Roy continued on. "Ed needs to stop, his wounds have reopened…"
At that Ed turned his head to look at his sore shoulder that he had ignored for so long to see that his guardian was telling the truth. Now that he looked closer he could see small splatters of crimson dotting the grass below and behind him, small rivulets of blood oozing down his leg from the numerous needle marks in his skin. The wound along his ribs had also started to leak the thick, crimson liquid as well…how long had he even been bleeding? Ed had hardly noticed the now constant dull and fiery ache that the reopened injuries were now causing him; he must have been too lost in his thoughts…to not even notice the pain until now.
"Ed is fine." He said out of reflex, not wanting his guardian to worry about him more than he already was. They needed to get far away from the lab…they didn't have time to fret over something so trivial. "It doesn't hurt that bad."
But as he tried to walk past Roy, his guardian blocked his path with his dark tail. While his eyes were still wide with worry, there was a soft and gentle sternness to them that caused Ed to stop completely. "Pup is bleeding. They should stop and rest for now."
Ed wanted to argue, to give a voice to the distress that lay deep within, but pain and exhaustion was finally starting to hit him full force. He bowed his head submissively as his body began to tremble weakly. "Okay…but only for a little while."
Despite the worry that radiated from the dark furred chimera in waves, Roy let out a relieved sigh as his gaze grew more sympathetic. He gently nuzzled Ed, his muzzle hovering over his bloodied shoulder for a moment before his guardian began to lick the blood away. Ed winced as Roy's tongue rasped over the wounds, and he let his head rest softly against his guardian's sturdy shoulder as he continued to clean the injury as best as he could.
After a few moments they eventually broke apart, Roy letting Ed lean against his side as they veered away from the muddy road. Ed leaned heavily against his guardian, noticing for the first time that he had unconsciously begun to limp from the pain that radiated from his shoulder and side. Together they pushed through the few dry and brittle bushes that hid the road from view, walking for only a few minutes until they found a good place to rest.
Set against a small hill was a pile of fallen rocks that lay hidden among a few leaf bare trees and frost bitten bushes. One large rock lay sideways overtop most of the slightly smaller stones to create a small cave that was shadowed by the occasional patch of lichen that speckled the sides of the rocks. The cave seemed large and enclosed enough to safely shelter both of them as Roy led him towards the dark entrance, brushing through a few trailing strands of overhanging moss as they made their way inside.
Through the gloom Ed could see that the ground inside the cave was covered by a thin and soft layer of grass, a few dead leaves dappling the earth in places as though blown in by the wind. There were no signs that the den was already occupied by another creature, it seemed to be the perfect spot to stop and rest. Roy gently nudged Ed into the center of the cave, guiding him into a sitting position as his guardian walked around to inspect their temporary home.
Once Roy seemed satisfied he began to gather up the scattered dry leaves and push them towards Ed, using them to make a small nest around him before softly nudging him down into the leaves. Ed lay down gratefully, settling amongst the surprisingly comfortable bed as he felt Roy lay down beside him. The warmth that radiated from his guardian's body helped to combat the cold earth below them as Ed burrowed closer to him. Roy responded by curling his body tightly around Ed's, resting his head atop Ed's as his guardian let out a tired sigh.
The two of them dozed off and on for some time, neither truly falling asleep as the sun began to dip below the horizon, it's slow departure bringing with it long shadows and cold air. While Ed longed to lie beside Roy inside the gradually warming cave forever, he felt a sharp pang of hunger shoot through his already aching body. The last time either of them had eaten was well before Sammy's liberation of The Pack, and even then it had only been a few small and hesitant bites. After everything they had gone through since then, and everything yet to come, Ed knew that they needed to eat in order to remain strong.
"Ed and Roy should hunt," He said in a voice that was muffled slightly by his guardian's fur. As Ed pulled slightly away from the blissful warmth he was met with confused onyx eyes. Roy gazed at him with a tired confusion, seeming too groggy to fully comprehend as Ed pressed on. "They haven't eaten in a long time, they should search for food."
"But what about Ed's wounds?" His guardian eyed him warily, his gaze locking onto Ed's shoulder. Ed turned his head in order to inspect his injuries better, and while they still hurt he could see that no fresh blood was flowing from the wounds, seeming to have scabbed over a while ago. "What if they reopen again?"
"Then it is a risk Ed must take. Ed and Roy need to keep up their strength, and to do that they need to eat." Ed said as he rose stiffly to his paws, testing his weight on his left leg as Roy sat up beside him, steadily supporting him on his non injured side.
"Does Ed know how to hunt?" His guardian asked in a doubtful tone as he gazed at Ed, seeming reluctant and worried. "Roy doesn't know how to…how can Roy be any help then?"
"Ed remembers hunting animals as a human, it can't be that different." He shrugged casually, holding back a whimper as the movement sent a small jolt of pain through his left leg. "Roy can stay here and make this cave more comfortable since it seems like Ed and Roy will be spending the night here. Roy can make a better nest."
"Will Ed be okay out on his own?" His guardian's muscles were tensed with worry and he gazed at Ed with wide and slightly fearful eyes. "What if something happens to Ed? Roy should go with him."
"There is no need, hunting will be easier alone." At Roy's doubtful and concerned glance Ed lapped soothingly at his cheek before playfully nudging his guardian's shoulder. "Besides, Roy just said that he can't hunt. Ed doesn't need to carry any dead weight."
For a moment amusement glimmered in those dark onyx eyes as Roy gently shoved him back. But as Ed finally got to his paws his guardian stood up beside him with a concerned look. "Ed must promise to be careful then. Please, Pup, don't do anything dangerous. Roy needs Ed with him…don't leave Roy alone out here…"
A spark of warmth spread through Ed's body as Roy used Sammy's nickname for him, and he nodded earnestly before casting a confident glance towards his worried guardian. "Ed will be careful, he promises to never leave Roy alone. Ed will be back with food in a little while; he leaves the den in Roy's capable paws."
Roy stayed silent as Ed walked to the cave entrance, trying not to show just how tired and sore he still felt. He turned his head to nod reassuringly at his guardian before stepping through the trailing lichen above and into the cold twilit woods. As he walked farther from their makeshift den, following various paths that kept him out of the denser undergrowth, he took in the occasional deep breath of pure and untainted air. After being caged up in a dark stone basement for so long the outside world seemed more beautiful than it had ever been.
Once Ed felt he had gotten far enough from the cave and the road, he stopped to think in the middle of a glade of towering oaks and evergreens. He tried to think back to when he had been a young child, stranded on that deserted island in the middle of a vast lake with his brother. How exactly had they managed to catch a decent meal then? They had made traps to catch rabbits…but how could he catch anything like that in this strange new form?
As Ed continued to delve deeply into his memories a sudden and feral sensation flickered through his entire being, thoughts of chasing prey and the feeling of fangs tearing through fur and flesh caused Ed to stumble from the intensity. He was very aware now of the dog half of his mind, the beast once again wanting to take control…but this time it was different. The dog seemed eager and harmless once it had finally gotten his full attention, silently offering up its senses and instincts for Ed to use fully.
He was very hesitant though, even if the dog seemed to have good intentions. The last time he and the beast had vied for control Ed had nearly lost himself…but now the dog seemed almost apologetic. It was practically begging to make up for it, like it was extending a mental olive branch of peace, as the canine offered its natural instincts to him so they could keep the body they now shared from starving. Very reluctantly Ed pulled back and let the dog have some control over him, the beast seeming to rejoice in their teamwork as it happily lent him all its senses.
Almost at once Ed was able to pick up the musty scent of a nearby mouse, his ears picking up the smallest sounds of tiny paws burrowing through dead leaves. He turned to face the noise, feeling his body instinctively drop into a crouched position as his paws moved stealthily towards the creature. Once he was close enough to see the light brown fur flash just a foot or two away he leapt, paws slamming down onto the small body as his jaws parted to deal the killing blow.
Ed reeled back suddenly; now fully in control once more as he stared down at the dead mouse in amazement. He could feel the dog's mind beside his own, the canine seeming to smirk and say 'See? I told you so!'. He realized then that he and the dog within could truly work together in harmony towards the common goal of survival, the now friendly and overly eager beast wanting nothing more than to offer its skills to Ed whenever he needed them. He smiled and for the first time since the transmutation was grateful of the canine's presence, feeling as though a heavy weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Now that they were in a more natural and wild environment the two minds could seemingly make their peace.
With the help of his newly enhanced senses Ed heard the rustle of feathers sound from a nearby bush as a sparrow pecked at the cold ground beneath its branches in search of food. He judged the distance mentally as his body moved almost on its own, but just the way he needed. The bird must have heard him though as its wings flapped loudly and it let out an alarmed call before it took to the sky. Ed let out a frustrated growl just before the dog took over once more, leaping expertly into the air to catch the bird and bring it back down to the ground, silencing its panicked cries forever.
Once the bird had been successfully caught the dog mind stepped back once more, letting Ed have control again, seeming happy that it had been able to help. The intensity of his senses and the bestial hunger within began to fade away, leaving Ed to his own thoughts as he silently thanked the dog half of his mind. He carefully picked the dead bird from the ground, its soft feathers tickling the inside of his mouth as he inspected the other piece of prey. The mouse he had caught looked rather scrawny, but it would be able to hold him and Roy over until the morning when Ed could go out and hunt again.
As Ed picked up the mouse and started to walk back towards the den, he felt the dull ache in his shoulder return once more. A quick glance showed that a couple of the small needle marks had opened up during the hunt, a thin trail of blood oozing through his fur. The dog must have been in enough control that it had allowed Ed a brief respite from his pain, too intent on hunting to even worry about the injury. A brief thought passed through his more human mind that he and the dog he shared his body with would have to be careful not to over exert themselves in the future. Ed needed to make sure that he'd be able to keep going, not only for himself but Roy as well.
But now that Ed was more like himself and the distracting task of hunting had been successfully completed, his old thoughts of Sammy came flooding back. His once brisk and accomplished steps faltered as he began to walk slower through the woods, sorrow once again threatening to consume him. Here he was, living his life and actually enjoying his freedom while his friend that had given that luxury to him was buried under rock and dirt. Sammy had never gotten the chance to experience the very thing that he had fought and died for…how could Ed have let go of his grief even for a moment? They had just buried Sammy, why had he allowed himself to continue on without his friend by his side?
A sudden image flashed through his mind of Star's tear filled eyes as she told him that Sammy would want him to live on for him, to make sure that his death would mean something. He thought of Sammy gazing fondly at him through the cage bars that separated them, heard the soft humor in his voice as his tail trailed comfortingly along Ed's back. Next he thought of Roy, how worried his guardian had looked as Ed had turned to leave the cave and hunt, the fear glowing in his wide onyx eyes at the thought of never seeing Ed again…how heartbroken Roy would be if Ed just gave up now and joined Sammy in death…
At that moment Ed felt like Sammy was actually walking by his side, their pelts brushing as his friend matched his downtrodden pace step for step. He could almost see the concern in his friend's blue eyes as Sammy gazed at him with a small, sad smile on his face. The wind seemed to carry the sound of his dear friend's voice as Ed wondered briefly to himself if his grief and guilt had actually driven him mad. "Pup needs to keep living…needs to keep fighting with all he has. Please don't give up, Pup…just keep moving forward and leave the sorrow in the past, where it belongs…"
Then the sensation vanished like it had been swept away by a gust of cold wind, but instead of the chill he would have usually felt, all Ed could feel was warmth. As long as he remembered Sammy and kept him in his heart, living not just for himself but for Roy as well, then he knew his friend would find peace. Maybe Star had been right when she said that Sammy was still watching over them…maybe his friend had actually just talked to him one last time…Ed had never been one to truly believe in an afterlife, once a body had died the soul was gone along with it, right? But maybe he had it wrong all along…
Ed felt the icy grasp of sorrow and guilt lessen in his heart, and while it still remained he could handle it now. His steps became surer and more confident as he lifted his glace towards the den where Roy waited anxiously for his return, Ed finally knowing the he would never forget about Sammy and would help his friend live on through his actions.
Once the den was within his sight, Ed began to trot happily towards it, ignoring the pain that flared momentarily in his shoulder. He made sure to slow down into a casual walk as he ducked to enter the small cave, not wanting Roy to worry more than he no doubt already was.
As soon as Ed had pushed past the trailing lichen, he saw his guardian leap to his paws, eyes wide with relief as his tail began to wag from joy. Roy crossed the short distance to stand before him as he nuzzled happily against Ed's neck. Ed ducked slightly away from his guardian, setting down his prey as he spoke in a light tone.
"What? Roy has never seen a mouse or a bird before?" He joked as Roy just continued to lean into him, radiating pure relief. Ed let him fuss for a few moments before pulling away to catch his guardian's eye, motioning down towards the prey he had caught. "Ed told Roy that he would bring back food."
"Yes, Roy was just so worried. The sun has almost set and Roy was scared that Ed would get lost in the dark." Roy finally stepped back with a small sigh, his attention now on the still warm bodies on the ground at Ed's paws. His dark gaze was curious and slightly confused as he continued on. "But how do Roy and Ed eat…those?"
Ed rolled his eyes as he picked up the sparrow and placed it at Roy's paws. "Roy just needs to open his mouth and take a bite, it's not that hard." When he saw that his guardian still seemed hesitant, he spoke up once more. "The dog mind will help; Roy has eaten meat before, right?"
"But Roy has never eaten an animal raw before." Roy prodded the bird with one white paw as he bent down to sniff cautiously at the feathered body. "Besides, Ed should have the bigger piece of prey. He went and caught both on his own after all."
Ed wanted to protest but Roy had already snatched up the scrawny mouse instead, backing up towards the nest in the middle of the den. He could see that it was bigger now; moss and ferns weaved among the dead leaves and soft bits of grass. His guardian sat down beside it, pulling the mouse closer as he shot Ed a light yet stern glance. Ed remained silent as he nodded simply in response, sitting as well before bending down to take a bite of his sparrow.
Once again the dog half of his mind eagerly begged for some control, longing to enjoy the prey that it had helped to catch. Ed pulled back only a little, just enough that as he ripped into the bird's flesh he didn't flinch away at the bloody meat. He caught a glimpse of Roy staring at him for a few moments before his guardian also began to eat, taking smaller and more hesitant bites with an unsure gleam in his eyes.
As Ed finished stripping the meat from the bones of his bird, the dog pulling back once more, he began to paw a few clean feathers from the carcass and passed them towards Roy. At the questioning look he was given Ed explained. "Roy can add these to the nest; they'd probably make it a little softer."
Roy nodded, pushing the few remains of his mouse towards Ed, who gathered up both carcasses to bury outside the den. As he dug a hole nearby under some drooping ferns he saw the sun had finally set, stars now dotting the dark sky above. Ed stayed outside the den for a few minutes, even though his task had been completed, just looking at the small shimmers of light in wonder. They looked so much closer and clearer than they ever had through the dirty skylight in that dark and depressing basement.
Eventually Ed ducked back into the cave, watching as his guardian carefully weaved the feathers into the nest, seeming oblivious to his presence. But as Ed sat down by the den's entrance, not wanting to get in Roy's way, his guardian looked up at him with a glimmer of affection in his dark eyes. "Ed seems happier than when he left to go hunting. Ed is feeling better about…about Sammy then?"
Ed stopped himself from flinching at the memory of his friend, carefully keeping his grief under control as he gazed at Roy, his eyes showing his true emotions. "Ed will never forget Sammy," He tried desperately to keep his voice from trembling as he continued. "But he realized that Star was right…as much as it hurts Ed, he will move on and keep living…for Sammy…and for Roy…"
His guardian's eyes gleamed with a mixture of sorrow and pride as he stood and walked to stand before Ed. Without a word Roy wrapped a paw carefully around his shoulders, pulling him close as Ed leaned gratefully against his guardian's warm and steady presence.
"Roy wants Ed to know that he is very proud of him. Roy knows how hard it is to lose a friend, and Ed is handling it all better than Roy thought he would." They stayed that way for a while, comforted by the presence of the other as the moon began to rise and spill its silver light into the den. After what felt like both a lifetime and a moment, his guardian pulled away to look Ed in the eyes before speaking.
"Roy thinks that he and Ed should stay at this den for a while," He spoke as though worried that Ed would refuse, but he let Roy continue on. "They are close enough to the road, and the lab, that if their friends come looking they can hear them."
Ed nodded his agreement, his guardian giving him a grateful glance, before he let out a large and drawn out yawn. The day's events seemed to weigh down Ed's tired eyelids as his exhaustion reached deep into every muscle and bone in his body.
He was gently nudged to his weary paws by Roy, who guided him into the center of the nest, his guardian settling down beside Ed as he lapped softly at his ears. "Sleep now, Pup. Tomorrow he can show Roy how to hunt so Ed doesn't have to do it alone."
Ed managed to nod at the suggestion, curling himself as close to Roy as he could get, burying his muzzle deeply into the soft black fur that now obscured his vison. He felt warmer than he had ever felt in the basement, so happy to now be able to fully lean into his guardian without metal bars getting in their way. "Of course…Goodnight Roy." He mumbled sleepily.
"Goodnight, Pup." Ed smiled as he felt his guardian rest his head atop his neck, Roy's warm breath rustling through his fur as Ed began to fall asleep. This time no nightmares of Sammy's death appeared behind his closed eyes, seeing only a soft and inky black darkness that Ed gladly allowed to consume him.
So The Pack is no more and Ed and Roy must survive on their own, wonder how that will turn out...only time will tell...
Anyway, to the maybe three or so people who check my profile on here for updates I'm uploading this chapter on Friday instead of Saturday. Why? Because I've had this done for quite awhile now and just really wanted to upload it before Easter lol.
For a timeline on Chapter 10, it's still very much up in the air. My event isn't until the end of July, so I've got a bit of time to work on writing instead of fretting over that. I'm going to say it'll be uploaded around the mid June mark, but again don't hold me to it.
Well to those who celebrate it, happy Easter! Take this chapter as a present of sorts lol (is that even a thing?).
Thank you all so much for the favorites, follows, and reviews. They make me super happy and I love getting any sort of feedback from you guys. I value your opinions a lot and feel free to send them to me in a message or as a review here. Keep staying awesome!
So I shall see you all in the next chapter!
:3
[EDIT]: Fixed a layout error that I have no clue how I missed.
