I'm not sure where I was going with this one. It just popped into my head so I thought I'd write it down. Also, I regret not exploring Minerva and Elphinstone's relationship in more depth. So, whenever I am feeling nostalgic, flashbacks it is. Sorry (but also I'm not very sorry :/ ...).
Note: Posts may be sporadic (after the next 2/3 posts) because I haven't written far ahead enough yet, and work has been very busy!
15 April 1998
"I am going to be home late this evening," she said apologetically. "I hope you have not forgotten that Helen and Robert are coming for dinner?"
Is that your way of reminding me to tidy the house and cook dinner?"
"Did it work?"
Elphinstone chuckled and kissed her lightly on the cheek. "It would have if I had needed reminding," he said. "The sprogs will be coming too, I take it?"
Minerva nodded. "Helen and Malcolm's, and Robert and Florence's too. I think Chloe, Robert, Isobel and Minerva will be staying over afterwards. Perhaps we can go to London?"
"I like the sound of a day trip," Elphinstone said. His smile wavered for a moment, and he got up from the muddy ground he had been sitting in that morning while he had been planting. "Do you like having them over?"
"My nieces and nephews?" Minerva said. She smiled and rolled her eyes as she stood up. "Of course I do."
Elphinstone smiled too, but it wavered somewhat. "And did you—do think about the kids a lot?
Minerva frowned. "I don't think I am following, Elphinstone. Of course, I think about the children," she admitted. She smoothed down her robes and flourished her wand so that her books and files vanished from her arms - she had sent them to her office at the school. "Shall we?"
Elphinstone followed her indoors. They put their cloaks on and locked up their cottage before leaving together; Elphinstone always walked with Minerva to Hogwarts.
"I mean, did you want that? Children?" he said, as they walked along the muddy path to Hogsmeade.
Minerva paused, taking a moment to think. "I did at one point when I was young—but it did not happen that way in the end," Minerva interrupted herself. She looked at Elphinstone and noticed a peculiar expression on his face. "What is it?"
"Who said it was the end? You said 'it did not happen that way in the end'," he quoted. "But who said it's the end?"
Minerva paused as they reached the outskirts of the small village. Elphinstone took her hands in his and Minerva looked into his eyes.
"You want this?" she said, searching her eyes and his face for any more tell-tale clues. They had discussed the topic before but usually, it had been a passing comment, or during silly little 'what if' conversations they engaged in sometimes.
"I think I asked first," Elphinstone said. He smiled when Minerva tutted, though it had not been a particularly harsh tut.
"It is a lot of responsibility," she said eventually. She was avoiding the question. Elphinstone knew it and Minerva knew it too. She knew, deep down, what it was that she wanted to say. But her answer also led to feelings of anxiety, worry and fear. Suddenly she straightened and looked him dead in the eye. "You know what I think, Elphinstone. We have discussed this before."
A faint smile spread across Elphinstone's lips. Minerva bit back her own smiled, a somewhat easy feet considering the sudden flutter of butterfly wings that had erupted in her stomach following her statement, rolled her eyes and abruptly continued to walk into Hogsmeade. She was stopped suddenly by Elphinstone's hand looping across her arm and pulling her gently back.
"I am going to be late for work, Elphistone Urquat," she said.
"You always leave home inexplicably early, Minerva McGonagall. You have never been late once in your life."
He smiled and eventually Minerva did too. He had a way of making her feel safe, calm and happy.
She kissed him lightly on the lips. "I shall see you at home," she told him.
"And we can plan!"
"After the children have gone, you barmy old man."
He laughed, in too good spirits it seemed to answer Minerva's small quip; he knew she was only teasing as well. He pecked her on the cheek, waved and Minerva waved back. Neither of them knew at that point that, in barely a weeks' time, Elphinstone would be bitten by a venomous tentacula.
"It's cold in here."
The memory dissolved instantly like a snowflake on a warm surface. Minerva shook herself and looked up to see the door to her private quarters open and then close as Pomona entered the room. It was cold, she realised. She had not noticed that the light of her Patronus had considerably dimmed while her mind and attention had been wandering.
"Right you are," she said quietly. Minerva waved her wand and almost instantly she felt warmed by the fire crackling happier in the grate. A significant weight seemed to have lifted from her shoulders too, and Minerva briefly wondered if her thoughts of a conversation with Elphinstone almost 30 years ago now had merely been a side-effect of the Dementors' proximity.
Indeed, she had occasionally thought of how different her life could have been if she and Elphinstone had made different decisions, or if they had had time to properly decide what it was that they wanted to do. But it was not usually a matter that plagued her mind or made her feel inexpressible cheated or left out. She pondered on the matter with interest and some sadness - but that particular conversation and matter had not been on her mind for many years.
"You look tired," Pomona said. She settled down in an armchair opposite Minerva's and gave her friend an appraising look. "Have you been eating properly?"
"I rather think I can take care of myself, Pomona," Minerva reminded her gently. There was a certain hardness in her tone but Pomona, having known Minerva for as long as she had, was not deterred from pressing further.
"I am being serious, dear."
"As am I," Minerva sighed. "House arrest is not as bad as it seems."
Pomona clucked her tongue and drummed her fingers on her armchair.
"You are still annoyed with me," Minerva said.
"No."
"You are—"
"—I'm not—"
"—I can tell, Pomona," Minerva persisted. "You think it was a foolish decision on my part. That I should not have raised my voice."
"It isn't only that... Shouting at Snape was imprudent and quite frankly it was stupid—" Pomona broke off suddenly and shook her head. She took a deep breath, as though trying to gather her thoughts and express them in a way that was direct and clear. "You have been rash this year, Minerva. One day, stripping you of your teaching duties won't be enough. You do understand that, don't you?"
Minerva was silent. She could not fault Pomona's logic and, in some ways, she did not know if that fact frightened her or not.
"I understand why you did it, Minerva. Truly," Pomona continued quietly. "But perhaps let Filius or I take the brunt of the Carrows' anger - once in a while? We would have done it before if you had given us the chance."
"Well, it is too late now, I suppose," Minerva murmured. "How are the students?"
"They are absolutely fine, Minerva."
Minerva narrowed her eyes.
"As well as you would expect them to be," Pomona said, amending her previous statement. "There have been no detentions or punishments since you have been away. In fact, there has been no activity whatsoever from this Dumbledore's Army group." She sighed. "They are worried sick about you, you know? A sentiment that I greatly share."
"The suspension is not for long," Minerva said.
"Even so, Minerva," Pomona said seriously. "When it was announced that Severus would be taking your classes I had more than one student come crying to me thinking that you had died. Of course, I told them otherwise," Pomona added hastily when Minerva opened her mouth to speak, "but they were all very upset."
Minerva felt a pang of guilt as she thought of what her actions the previous evening had done to her students. Her feelings of guilt then quickly morphed into anger towards Severus, Amycus, Alecto and, unusually, Albus. Though she knew that none of this was his fault, a small part of her felt abandoned by Albus. He had concealed so much from her while he was alive. Even in death, he was keeping information from her. Minerva thought again of the letter he had left for her - the letter that would not and could not be opened until 'the right moment' - whatever that meant.
"I will be back on Monday," Minerva said quietly. "It is almost the end of the year, Pomona. Soon all the students will be home again and—and we can think about our next steps."
Indeed, none of them could act until the students were safely away at home. The idea of bringing any sort of fighting to Hogwarts while underaged students were still living within its walls was too awful to bear thinking about.
"I heard they will be bringing new members of staff to Hogwarts next year," Pomona said. "To replace Hagrid and Horace, too. Horace told me that he is thinking of retiring," she explained. "If this goes on any longer we will be outnumbered in our own school. We will have to rely on others outside."
Minerva nodded. It seemed that they were already relying on others outside of Hogwarts to help them. With every passing day, the thought of getting any sort of help was dwindling. Minerva had not heard from any Order member, apart from Aberforth, for months. And even then, when Minerva did contact Aberforth, he did not speak to her about Order matters.
Noticing that the light of her Patronus was fading, Minerva waved her wand. Instantly the room felt warmer and the mood less heavy.
Pomona's eyes settled on the small blue tabby cat sitting on the window ledge. She waved her wand too, and a small squirrel went to join the cat.
"One just doesn't do the trick anymore," she said quietly. "It's awful in the greenhouses." She bit her lip and drummed her fingers against her knees.
"Do you need to be somewhere else soon?" Minerva asked.
Pomona shook her head. "No more classes now until tomorrow morning."
Minerva nodded. "Care for some tea then?"
She smiled, her weariness and worry still etched deeply into her features even so, and Pomona answered it. "I would very much so, dear," she said. "Thank you."
Minerva stood and went to collect some mugs.
