A/N: Another silly one-shot. This time they're at JAG...


"I can't take it anymore. Something needs to be done about those two." Sturgis Turner complained as he approached Petty Officer Coates.

She gave him a sympathetic look, "I wish I could help, sir."

Harriet overheard and moved to join, "I know, Bud is beside himself. They were getting along so well before... That morning the Colonel was late, I thought maybe..." she sighed, "and then the Admiral assigned this case, and all hell broke loose." Her tone turned from wistful to disappointed.

Mac and Harm had been at each other's throats for two weeks, and poor Sturgis was stuck in the middle. He was working with Harm, and Bud was second chair to Mac for a big court martial. The senior officers refused to deal and every attempt made to mediate was met with wrath from both sides.

"Aren't you waiting for a verdict?" Jen asked, "Maybe things will go back to normal when the case is over?"

"Yeah, normal being hot and cold and making us miserable until the end of time." Sturgis responded, still irritated. "I'm not a matchmaker, but we need to do something."

Harriet frowned, shaking her head, "I have thought over so many scenarios, but it seems like whenever they get close, one of them screws it up."


"Oh God, I've missed you," Harm's words were muffled against her lips, his voice interrupting the sound of desperate kisses in an otherwise silent room.

"Me... too..." she managed to respond, sucking in a breath as his hands slid under her skirt. The pitch black of the custodial closet heightened her awareness of his fingers on her skin. Hot and a little rough, they traveled up the back of her legs, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

Harm groaned when he found Mac's bottom bare, "Jesus, Marine," his lips hovered over her ear while his hands continued to move over heated flesh, "If I had known you weren't wearing any panties, my closing arguments would have been abysmal."

"I'll remember that for next time," She smirked against his neck, eliciting a growl when she nipped with her teeth.

They began dating a little over a month prior, proud that they had been able to keep it out of the office... Well, until now.

There were rules: no touching or kissing at JAG or during work hours, no dates in public, and no seeing each other while they were on opposing sides of a case in court. Everything was going fine until they came face to face with the final rule.

They were suddenly thrust from sex every night to nothing. No dinners, no kissing, no touching. Frustrated couldn't begin to describe what they felt from the start, and it only got worse.

"I have a deal for you Colonel," Harm smirked, approaching her desk a few days after being given the case.

"Oh, really," her eyebrow raised, "What would that be?"

"Dishonorable discharge, no confinement," He gave her a cocky smile, "It's more than generous," Harm explained, sitting on the edge of her desk and leaning in, "...and as soon as you accept, you can come spend the night and I will be more than generous." His lips brushed across her cheek when he pulled away.

Mac sat unfazed. "You think that's generous?" her eyebrows raised, "Corporal Tennison is innocent. I know it, and the jury will know it. No deal, counselor."

Harm let out a laugh, "Come on, Mac. He was found with a smoking gun, there is no way he's getting away with this," his tone turned suave, "Let's just keep it short and painless so we can get back to our lives." A cocky grin finished his argument.

"You really think that's gonna work?" She was not falling for it. Instead, Mac was determined to punish him for trying to use sex to get a deal. "We'll take our chances. See you in court, Commander."

His eyebrow raised as he let out a chuckle, pretending not to be bothered, "Alright, see you in a few weeks, Colonel."

That's when it started, the bickering, the constant back and forth. Neither would bend, not only about the case, but about lunch, strength of coffee, or any other topic that they could possibly disagree on.

As bystanders went, Sturgis and Bud got the worst of it. They tried to talk sense into the Commander and Colonel, but the more they were urged to come to an understanding, the more polarized and tense the situation became.

It was a different tense than usual, too. While they were used to a certain amount of sexual tension, it seemed the heat had turned up twenty degrees. Sturgis could swear Harm was breathing heavier than usual and staring at Mac with a predatory gaze as she licked jelly from her finger one morning. But the Commander quickly made a comment about how donuts clog your arteries and stormed out of the break room.

Mac, on the other hand, had been distracted. Bud caught her lost in thought during a staff meeting, staring across the conference table; her eyes trained on the end of the pen that Harm was toying with. First between his fingers, then between his lips, twisting it around and nibbling at the end.


"I am ready to lock them in a room until they work everything out," Sturgis crossed his arms.

Harriet shook her head, "That could backfire. There's no happy medium in that situation, and if they screw it up like they always do, it will only make things worse."

"But what if it works?" Sturgis asked, shrugging, "Do any of the offices lock from the outside?"

"If we're going to lock them in a room, we should make sure it's private, Sir," Coates responded.

"I think the opposite would be more appropriate," he gave her a stare just short of condescending.

Coates looked to Harriet, who cocked her head in thought, "Actually, Commander, I think she's right. If they're locked in a room, everyone would be watching, and that wouldn't work in our favor."

"So, what are you suggesting? We lock them in the supply closet?" Sturgis was trying to keep his voice low, embarrassed by the ridiculous nature of their conversation.

Harriet bit her lip, shaking her head, "No. It couldn't be somewhere people are stopping by at will. It would have to be another space."

"Like an office without any windows?" Coates provided, looking between the two.

Sturgis glared at her, "You mean, my office Petty Officer."

"Either that or the Admiral's." she looked back apologetically.

Sturgis groaned, "Fine. This was my idea. I'll make the sacrifice. Now, how are we going to get them in there?"

Noticing Lieutenant Singer lurking close by, Harriet suggested, "Why don't we go take a look at the space." Her eyes suggested they needed to move somewhere private as she stepped toward Sturgis's office.

The Commander stood back to let Jen and Harriet in, squishing the Lieutenant against his desk as he entered and tried to stand clear of the door to close it. She bumped a picture frame when she leaned back to give him space, and Harriet apologized as it felt to the floor, the glass shattering on impact.

Jen quickly offered to clean it up, opening the door just far enough to slip out of the room.

"Do you really think this will work?" Harriet questioned Sturgis, "There has to be a reason they've been at each other's throats. Is the Commander seeing someone?"

Sturgis shook his head, "Not that I know of, although, we went a month without playing one on one before all this started. Maybe he was seeing someone and they broke up."

"Oh, no! I was going to say the same thing about the Colonel." Harriet frowned. "She made a comment three weeks ago about finally seeing a family in her future. And then she was late the next day… but she didn't seem stressed out like she normally would be. She was… flustered, but in a good way. Like whatever reason she had for being late was worth it."

"Did she say anything about why she was late?" Sturgis asked.

Harriet shook her head, "No, but the Commander was late that day, too!" it suddenly dawned on her. "He's always late, so I didn't think anything of it at the time, but…"

"They were getting along surprisingly well for a few weeks. You don't think-" Sturgis started, "Do you think they were together and they broke up?"

Harriet's face scrunched, "I really don't want to believe it, but… what else would explain all of this?"

Sturgis sighed, "I don't know Lieutenant, but the tension in this office is unbearable. Somebody needs to talk some sense into them."


"Oh... God!" Mac moaned as his fingers slid between her folds, finally experiencing the touch she had been denied for too long.

His mouth moved over her neck and she clutched his broad shoulders; her nails scraping at the fabric of his coat as she pushed her lower body against him.

Harm's fingers curled inside of her, and Mac buried her face in the crook of his neck, muffling sobs of pleasure. Her hand slid to his hip, and as she hooked his belt loop to pull him closer, he thrust deeper, sparking a toe-curling orgasm from deep within.

He pressed her to the door with a thud, and she pulled at him once more, rubbing against the bulge of his erection. His mouth opened to her ravenous tongue, and Mac moaned when his fingers, wet with her need, slid up to circle her bud. Her hand to slid to the button of his pants, pushing his slacks and boxers down.

"Ohh, Mac!" He gasped when she started to stroke him, his eyes opening to find hers taking him with the same possession as her grasp. Her soft body was wedged between the door and Harm's solid frame. His thick, hard member pressed into her stomach, and she brought her leg around his waist to feel it at the apex of her thighs. When he rocked his hips against her she groaned, "Harm, please! I need you inside of me." He nipped at her ear, "Now!"

"Yes ma'am," he whispered, grinning against her neck, then thrusting into her with one swift motion.


Harm stumbled upon the room three days prior while in search of a vacuum. In a rush to grab a book from the law library, he had dropped and stepped on a rice cake. Embarrassed that he had not only broken the no food in the library rule, but also made a mess, he embarked to clean it up. When the broom housed near their offices didn't cut it, Harm searched out the cleaning closet on the higher floor. He was lucky to find the door unlocked, making it easy to pull out the machine. The desolate location also helped him take care of his indiscretion in secret.

He found room surprisingly tidy. There were a few brooms and the vacuum, but most of the shelving on each side was filled with paper products. It lacked most of the cleaning products that the closets held on the lower floors, giving the room a non-chemical pleasant aroma.

The knowledge that the court martial was almost over, combined with two weeks of longing saw Harm disengaging the mechanism that locked when the door closed. He wasn't planning to take Mac there per-se but figured it would be nice to have the option to fulfill one of his many sex-at-headquarters fantasies if the opportunity presented itself.

And present itself it did. Thanks to their two weeklong feud, nobody wanted to be around them, and after closing arguments, he and Mac found themselves alone in the elevator. As soon as the doors closed, she pinned him to the wall, her mouth hungry against his, and he reached out his hand to press the button for the floor above their offices. She shot an inquisitive look his way, but then his tongue was in her mouth, and everything else disappeared until a lilt announced their arrival.

Harm strode out of the elevator, Mac at his heels. He passed the law library and turned the dead-ed corner, grasping the door handle with purpose. She filed in behind him, her eyebrow raised. It took a mere second to eliminate the space between their bodies, his starved mouth on hers; tongue demanding entrance while her fingernails raked over his scalp.


Harriet smiled when Coates returned, trying to cover up their heartbreaking discovery. "Do you have the broom? I can sweep it up, it was my fault, after all." She reached towards the woman.

Jen swallowed, suddenly blushing, "About the broom, ma'am... The one from this floor was missing."

"Isn't there one upstairs, Petty Officer?" Sturgis questioned.

"There usually is, but I was unable to obtain it... Sir." The Commander and Lieutenant just stared at her, confused. "Someone was in the broom closet..."

"And?" He probed; their expressions unchanged.

"And..." Her eyes pleaded with Harriet, but the woman was equally bewildered. "And I think someone-some people are..." One more glance, "arehavingsexinthebroomcloset." She swallowed. "Sir."

Harriet's eyes bulged, and her hand rose to her mouth to cover a gasp.


Mac tasted blood. Harm felt so good, so goddamn good she wanted to scream. She knew they were on borrowed time, that the jury could be back at any moment, but all she could think about was the unbelievable tension twisting through her body, tighter and tighter, about to snap.

Harm managed to soften his moans by kissing and sucking at her neck. The teeth pressing into her lower lip reduced her screams to whimpers, leaving the clink of Harm's Academy ring against the door the most prominent sound in the small room. With every upward thrust, he clutched at her six, curling his long fingers into her flesh and causing the ring to scrape across the door.

It was the sound Coates noticed as she approached; scraping mixed with what she would describe as high-pitched squeaking, and she wondered if there was an animal in the closet. It wasn't until she reached for the door handle that a sudden, deep, "Ohh God!" rang from inside, causing her to take pause.

She leaned toward the sound, catching whispered staccato cries before a loud thud against the door startled her into retreat.

"Ohmygod! …Oh, fuck!... Yes! Oh God, yes!" Mac's soft cries mimicked the tremors wreaking havoc on her body. Tears filled her eyes and she arched backwards, her head connecting with the door.

When she regained enough composure to open her eyes, she found his, brightened by the smile that graced his features. "Mmmm, I needed that," she hummed, still trying to catch her breath.

He chuckled, sliding his hands from her rear to her waist, supporting Mac as her feet returned to the floor. "I did, too," he nuzzled her neck, his breathing finally even as he brushed his nose through her hair.

"We can't let this happen again," she said, looking up at him, "No matter how much I want it to." A grin pulled at her lips.

"I know," he sighed, dropping his hand from where it caressed her cheek. Her tousled hair and swollen lips had his nether regions hardening, and he took a step back to put some space between them and pull up his pants.

"You know what we have to do, right?" Her doe eyes searched his, "We have to tell the Admiral we're together and take whatever he throws at us."

"Yeah, I'll see when Coates can get us in to talk to him," he said, smiling as he took her hand and kissed it. "Sturgis will be relieved."

"So will Bud," her lips turned up, "Poor Bud," she continued, shaking her head, "We put them through hell these past two weeks."

"Hey, they're not the only ones." When Mac's brow furrowed, he continued, "I haven't slept in ten days."

"I know. I have never been so sexually frustrated in my life."

His eyebrow raised with a smile, "Actually," he turned a bit sheepish, "I can no longer fall asleep without a certain marine next to me. Even though her body turns into a furnace, and she kicks off the blankets every night."

Mac grinned, "And I can't fall asleep without my new favorite pillow." She hugged him, briefly resting her head on his shoulder.

He leaned down so his mouth was an inch from her ear, "Sexually frustrated, huh?"

"Oh, please," She pushed away, rolling her eyes. "I saw how you looked at me when I was eating that donut the other day. If Sturgis hadn't been in the breakroom, we would have done it right there against the cupboards."

He laughed, "And I saw you watching me during staff meeting. Tell me, was there something in my teeth?"

"You know it drives me crazy when you chew on your pens."

"I do," he shot her a shit-eating grin.

Mac shook her head, about to respond when Harm's phone went off. He checked the messages, relaying the information as he flipped it closed. "The jury's done deliberating. We're needed back in ten." He paused, the smile returning along with a deep, dangerous timbre, "You know, that's almost enough time..."

Her voice was steady, but her flushed cheeks and glossy eyes gave away Mac's true desire. "We need to hit the restrooms and re-group before we get down there, Sailor."

With a groan and a chaste kiss, Harm opened the door. They exited the room, squinting in the bright light of the hallway.


"What's that?" Mac asked, stepping into the elevator where Harm stood with a broom.

"It's from our floor," He replied, pointing to the number written on the handle, "I borrowed it the other day and forgot to put it back."

"Ah," she nodded as the elevator doors opened to reveal Sturgis Turner, waiting for his co-counsel.

He looked at his fellow officers. They were together... in a confined space... and they weren't fighting. In fact, they were relaxed. Mac was practically glowing. Harm had a goofy grin on his face and was holding... a broom?

For the first time since coming to JAG, Sturgis Turner lost it. He laughed so hard he had to bend over to catch his breath.

Harm and Mac looked at each other, concerned and confused by their friend. "Sturgis, are you okay?" Harm tried to speak over the man's chuckles.

"Oh, it was you," he gasped, "Oh, thank God." Sturgis straightened.

"What?" Mac asked, "Sturgis, what's going on?"

"What's going on?" Suddenly he was stern, "You two have been insufferable for the past two weeks! And while we were trying to figure out how to… fix it," he gestured, continuing in a whisper, "You were having sex in the broom closet. That's what's going on."

The pair gaped at him, their eyes wide. "Congratulations by the way." Sturgis shot over his shoulder, heading toward the courtroom.

They reluctantly followed, making their way to the doors.

"Um, Harm?" Mac halted.

"Yeah?" He replied, still flustered.

"The broom," she pointed at his hand.

"Right," he nodded, leaning it against the wall before following her in.