In the chilly air, Ai peacefully slumbered, occasionally snoring on the king-sized bed. Covered by a thick sheet she so desperately desires to keep herself warm from the shivering cold. Another person's breath mingled with hers; someone shared the bed with her.
His cold hands clenched hers, seeking warmth, finding solace in Ai's open arms.
Hikaru nudged Ai for the blanket; she had wrapped herself in it during the night, leaving him uncomfortable in the cold room. Responding to his unspoken plea, Ai embraced him tighter, their bodies sharing the last traces of warmth.
"Ai... Please, the blanket."
"Ai... Ai." Hikaru continued to nudge her. Eventually, he decided to wake up and start their morning routine.
Hikaru composed himself and settled on the bed, absorbing the room's soft blue pastel hues. It was too chilly to stay still. Inhaling deeply, he observed the slumbering beauty sprawling across the bed, who reached out to claim more space in her sleep.
Taking a moment to recalibrate himself from the uncomfortable night, he examined his palm, stretching and flexing his fingers, noticing the stiffness made from the cold night before. As he did so, his foggy mind conjured images of his hand stained with blood.
Hikaru jumped out of bed, changing into a new set of clothes and brushing his teeth. Afterwards, he started to heat the stove, placing a tamagoyaki-pan on it to let the eggs he cracked on the counter to sizzle. He mimics smoking a cigarette with his hands, only to realise he has none.
While breakfast was being prepared, Hikaru savoured a fleeting moment of tranquillity, a rarity for him.
The ruckus of his morning ritual, from the smell of their breakfast to the sounds of the sizzling pan, disturbed Ai's sleep. She motions herself out of the bed, rubbing her purple sparkling eyes to remove eye gunk that clogged it.
She slowly opens the door, her fatigue giving way to excitement. Peering in, she sees Hikaru in the kitchen, preparing her favourite dish. Ai's enthusiasm for the day ahead fills her with energy. She swiftly embraces Hikaru from behind, calling his name, surprising him.
"Please don't do that, I don't want to burn myself." Hikaru nearly spills the food he held in his hands prior.
"Fufufu!" Ai buries her face in Hikaru's back.
"AH! It's too early in the morning, let me go!" Playful banter lifts the sombre atmosphere in the kitchen before Ai's surprise, injecting a touch of cheerfulness into the room.
Ai backs off, a little disappointed he isn't in the mood for a little fun.
Walking to the twin's room, she asks Hikaru whether he has woken up the twins whilst opening the door to their room, tilting it slightly to see inside. It was clear he had not done so, the twins were still snoring away on their respective beds.
"No, they should be sleeping now anyways, it's still 7:00 am."
"Wait what? No they shouldn't, I heard from an online forum that they should build the habit of waking up early to maintain their sleep schedule, it even boosts their growth! I mean like… Aqua has grown a lot in the past 2 years."
"It's from the internet, they're probably basing it off from a research paper from the 19th century or something, just don't disturb them, sleep is important." Hikaru walks towards the dining table, placing down their morning breakfast and two cups of coffee.
Ai doesn't believe him, she takes it upon herself to wake them up.
"Hey! Don't you dare…!" Hikaru's voice sounded a little playful, but a warning is a warning.
"Or else what?" Ai smirks.
"Or else this disappears," Hikaru picks up her tamagoyaki and hangs it over his open mouth.
"Hey! Stop that!" Ai exclaimed, rushing over to him and gently nudging him toward a kitchen counter, determined to reclaim what was rightfully hers. Her height proved to be a challenge; her hands could barely reach his.
As they playfully fought over the tamagoyaki, Aqua emerged from his dark, cold room, yawning. His height had indeed increased over the past two years, just as Ai had claimed. He casually strolled over to the dinner table, disregarding the playful banter between his parents.
"Hey, Aqua, where's your 'Good Morning'?" Hikaru inquired, slightly annoyed that Aqua didn't bother to greet them in the morning. However, Hikaru failed to notice Ai's hand swiftly guiding the tamagoyaki into her mouth, claiming victory at last, much to her delight.
"Do I really need to? You're going to be with us all the time." Aqua's response felt a bit harsh.
Hikaru looked towards Ai, who was taking in the flavours of the egg-delight.
"Ai, they don't like me…"
As Ai finished swallowing it, she responded with hope in her eyes.
"They will eventually, Hikaru. You can cook, handle house chores, do laundry, babysit—things I struggle with. Don't think so bad of yourself," Ai encouraged, pulling him closer and resting her head on his chest in appreciation for his efforts.
"But I feel like a man-wife!"
"Don't think about it like that, I already have a well-paying job. B Komachi is popular nowadays, you really shouldn't worry." Ai gently plays with his fingers, eventually intertwining her hand with his.
Hikaru sighs in defeat, his life has changed.
"But, if they don't…" Hikaru glances over to Aqua, contemplating what he said.
If they don't… I can never be vulnerable.
"I might just have to leave again," Hikaru's unexpected words left Ai and Aqua stunned. Ai recoiled, devastated. In a fit of rage, she slapped him on the cheek. Hikaru stumbled back, landing against the counter. He placed his palm over the slap.
"AH! I'm so sorry!" Ai exclaimed, realising her mistake. She attempted to tend to his wounds, but Hikaru insisted he was fine, refusing her help.
Aqua watches them silently, utterly baffled by the existence of such a relationship. He can't help but giggle to himself as these two are completely unpredictable. He managed just a single bite of his breakfast before the commotion stirred someone else awake. Ruby emerged from their room whilst holding an Ai plushie, rubbing her eyes in a sleepy daze.
Ruby sees her parents on the couch, Ai tending to the plush red spot on Hikaru's right cheek while he lay on her lap. Seeing Ai's care, Ruby hurried over, craving the same affectionate touch.
Now, Ai had both of her hands, each one caressing one of the two people she loved most, genuinely. The joy of the lighthearted afternoon overwhelmed her, prompting hysterical laughter as a way to release her emotions.
Hikaru smiled in response to Ai's laughter, her smile making his heart flutter. He gazed at her face, absorbing every moment, aware that these moments were fleeting, especially in his past.
Hikaru poses the question, something that lingered at the back of his mind…
"Ai, do you love me?" Hikaru looked upwards to Ai's gentle face, which turned delightfully confused at the question.
"Of course I do… Dummy." Ai chortles, caressing her hand over his face.
Hikaru grins from ear to ear, immediately grabbing her hand to hold it closer… He feels that vulnerability he so sought for for the past few years. The weight of HIS life lightens, another bearing holding him down gone loose. Permanently.
}}})— — — Prologue — — — (A few months ago)
Hikaru sits alone on the mossy grass, leaning against a random tombstone whilst smoking a cigarette. He lets out a puff of grey smoke out of his mouth, sighing. He recently murdered another famous female actress, his hands still stained with the blood from his victim's head trauma. He smiles; he feels the weight of the situation fall on him, soaking up the lovely feeling he so desperately desires to fill that gap within his heart.
However, the feeling fades faster than he can grasp it. Soon, the paranoia of massacring several people catches up to him, making his heart race. The adrenaline makes him clutch his chest, grinning as he feels the twisted ecstasy from it.
Then, it's gone.
Another fleeting moment, the bliss he so desires is taken away from him. He's left empty again, addicted to his way of living, till the point of his own self-destruction.
He slouches on the tombstone, resting his head on it and stretching his legs out. Gazing at the sky above, he vaguely reminisces about his first victim, feeling the euphoria wash over him. He attempts to fake a smile, trying to replicate the way he felt back then, but it proves futile, unable to truly savour the memory.
His head is now blank; what has his life become? An endless cycle to fuel an unquenchable thirst to imitate affection. He finds himself pitiful, a mess.
Affection?
Ai?
He grits his teeth, bracing for the rush of memories they had shared to flood his mind—a past he couldn't truly savour, a regret that refused to fade. A moment of vulnerability that left him scarred.
Hallucinations of Ai's voice echo in his mind. He stretches his hand toward the sky, clenching his fist in a futile attempt to grasp the fleeting images. The memories slip away once more, leaving him drained and frustrated, he pulls his hair, seeking distraction from the growing void within his heart.
"Ai! Ai… Ai!" He flails his arms, as though attempting to push away imaginary obstacles obstructing his sight.
Tormented by his regrets, he can only yell for Ai's name, shooing the birds away from the lifeless trees that encircled the grave.
The yell leaves him utterly drained; shallow breaths and the inability to think rationally causes his mind to dwell on the possibility of ending it all.
He picks himself up from the tombstone he laid on, feeling a new sense of bliss. The end of everything, he can just stop his life here. Only then would he truly feel tranquillity forever.
—
Hikaru walks through the city, seeking the highest parking lot available. It doesn't take him long to find one. His gaze fixed on the top floor, enough height for a quick end.
Shortly afterward, he reaches the door to the staircase of the parking complex. He ascends the plain, grey, and deteriorating stairs, scattered with cigarette butts and shreds of paper. The disturbing sight prompts him to fidget with a pocket knife he carries, absentmindedly opening and closing its once-sharp blade, now dulled from repeated use.
His distractions can only carry him so far as he ascends the stairs, the weight of his life soon catching up to him.
His pace slows down as he reaches the higher levels, allowing him to fully comprehend how high he has climbed and how far he is about to fall.
With each step, his body trembles, a warning from his instincts about the impending danger. His rational mind pleads with him to stop, a desperate plea for self-preservation.
He understands why—he's afraid. He knows when it's going to end… What is he doing?
His teeth shiver at the sight of the 4th floor sign, now knowing that he's about to reach his end. His mind panics, scrambling through every memory it had up until this point for a solution to stop his demise. Hikaru chuckles; he hasn't even reached the 8th floor, and yet his brain thinks he's about to die.
Soon, his brain delves into the deeper recesses of his repressed memories, realising that the surface attempts have proven futile. As his mental state deteriorates, he feels his head spin, his ears hallucinating sounds.
"Hikaru! Where are you going? Please, don't leave me!"
A familiar voice calls out to him; his mental state now at its lowest, he's tormented to hear Ai's voice once more. All those years of affection, all that heartbreak, now haunting him.
He's crippled, unable to move a single step. He doesn't understand why he's doing this… For tranquillity? A state of peace? All lies, he just wanted to leave, an escape from his miserable life.
"Ai, I am not going anywhere, where are you!?" He extends his hands, calling out for her.
Rushing out of the staircase and into the car park where the hallucinations occurred.
Standing in the middle of the parking lot road, memories flow out of his mind and weave their way into his vision. Vivid scenes of the time they spent together flash before his eyes. Moments that were once blurry and shrouded in resentment now reveal themselves as moments of salvation.
Hikaru's twisted laughs echo through the parking lot as he can feel the kick of adrenaline that fuels his addiction.
With his emotions clashing violently in his mind, he can only clutch at straws, unsure of what to do. Unable to control his overwhelming confusion, he curls into a foetal position, succumbing to the tension within his body. Desperately, he clings to the fragments of sanity he has left, grasping onto the last traces of humanity he had for the ones he used to love.
"HHHOOONKKK!" Hikaru is sent sliding across the floor as a vehicle hits him.
The impact pushes him to the brink of mental incapacitation, almost rendering him unconscious.
He could see a stranger running out of the car, attempting to wake him up…
His eyes close as he's unable to force himself awake, his will to live slowly draining.
No longer weighted down and burdened by his physical body, he's able to clear his mind, embracing the loving memories he used to share with Ai.
A scent, lavender. A smell she used to carry.
A soft skin, that she always conditioned and cared for.
The drive that kept them together.
The intimacy that brought them apart.
One moment, they're on the couch, enjoying a movie. Next, he's in bed, sleeping with her. The next? Arguments between the young couple. A night fuelled by uncontrolled emotions leads both apart in their separate ways.
A stable career? Yeah, right… Down the drain it goes. A relationship? Vulnerability? A person to confide in? Hikaru's denied from having any of it due to his reckless behaviour.
What a joke, he let his past trauma dictate his actions.
Hikaru is pulled back to his body, now left to squander his remaining energy to even stay awake. He can hear someone yelling at another one… Another stranger at the corner of his eye…
Then he could feel a hug, a deep one, a hug that pierces his heart and tugs at his feelings.
He utters the last name he could remember, the stranger now making the embrace even tighter.
— Perspective #2 —
"Ai, can we stop now?" Ichigo's fingers were on the verge of tearing under the weight of the numerous shopping bags Ai had accumulated. He grew concerned, wondering if Ai planned to purchase those heavy school bags she was gazing at through the glass display.
Inevitably, she was going to buy it. Ichigo sighed, glancing at the school supplies and various amenities for Aqua and Ruby. The numerous shopping bags certainly attracted attention from passersby. Fortunately, Ai was wearing a disguise.
"Honestly, it's a miracle Miyako can do all of this all the goddamn time. Ai, are you even listening to me?" Ichigo's sore hands translated their pain into sarcastic frustration.
"Yup! Hehe..." Ai walked out of the store gleefully, carrying two bags—one Aquamarine blue and one Ruby red, mirroring her children's eyes. Her mind was clearly elsewhere as she inspected each of the school items in the shopping bags that Ichigo carried.
"Pencils… Check! Calculator…" Ai rummages through the shopping bags, ticking off the items she planned to buy.
"They don't need a calculator, they're 6, remember?"
"Oh yeah, right. Sharpener, Erasers, textbooks… Ah! And Ruby's Ai plushy. All checked."
"So can we go now?"
"Mhmm…" Ai immediately returned to her phone, scrolling through the articles that the school provided to help parents settle their supplies for their children.
Ai cradles the phone close to her chest, relief washing over her. She's finally done with all that nonsense! All she can think about is her children using all the materials she bought for them; the supporting motherly role really suits her.
As they make their way to the car in the 8 story parking lot, Ichigo initiates a conversation with Ai about her upcoming concert and their plans for the 3rd Dome concert in Korea.
"Ah, Korea… I nearly forgot about that, umm… Hmm… I heard that we're going to have to translate our music and learn the new lyrics later, I don't want to spend too much time doing that. Ruby is already getting really stressed by my busy schedule…" Ai grabs some of the shopping bags from Ichigo and places them into the trunk of the car, trying her best to keep the conversation going.
"No problem, I've been negotiating with the organisation in Korea, they will be providing subtitles." Ichigo gives her the last bag, now checking his phone to see if his claims are correct.
As they were preparing to get into the car, Ichigo instinctively placed the "Student Driver" tags on the front and rear of the car, swapping seats to allow Ai to take the driver's seat.
The car engine roars to life, creating a low rumbling noise that softened as the car jerked forward.
"Eek! Please don't damage my car!" Ichigo exclaimed, jolting upwards as he started to doubt Ai's driving skills.
"Oops," Ai turned the steering wheel slowly, her reluctance to commit to turning showing signs of a student driver at work.
As Ai descended through the lower levels of the parking lot, her mind wandered, troubled by recent events at B Komachi.
"Ichigo?"
"Hmm?"
"Do you think some of the members... I don't know... holding a grudge against me after the 1st and 2nd dome concerts?"
"Why?" Ichigo set his phone aside, fully attentive.
"I overheard Nino spreading rumours about me in the break room. I don't know what to do..."
"Nino? Alright, I'll talk to her about it." Ichigo picks up his phone again, texting someone urgently.
"I feel like I'm growing distant from my own group. The last time I was invited to any of their activities was months ago."
Growing increasingly frustrated, Ai's focus shifted from the road to her frustrations.
"Yeah..." Ichigo, still engrossed in his phone, seemed to be facing some challenges with his messages.
"And... There was this incident. I told Nino to cover her water bottle, but she didn't! It ended up causing a mess, with makeup and water all over the table... Then she blamed me!" Ai's irritation escalates, and she slams her foot on the pedals.
"-Hey, be careful!"
"HHHOOONNNKKK"
"Ah… AH AHHHH!?" Ai screams, her voice echoing shallowly within the car, her shock palpable.
Did I just hit someone!?
Ichigo, too, was stunned, his growing nervousness paralysing him, reluctant to accept the reality unfolding before them.
"Ai, I think you should-"
She had already left the car, leaving the door open as Ai rushed towards the victim who had slid across the floor. However, her pace slowed down as she recognized who she had struck.
"Hi- Hi… Hikaru!?" Her voice cracks as she yells his name, desperate for him to respond. She couldn't believe the sight before her eyes; it was too surreal, too terrifying.
Ichigo, having stepped out of the car, watched Ai's emotional outburst with growing confusion. Did she know this man? The pieces of the puzzle didn't seem to fit, and worry etched deep lines on his face.
Without a moment's hesitation, Ichigo rummages through the bags, grabbing bandages meant for Aqua and Ruby.
He crouches down beside the injured man, his hands working swiftly to tend to his wounds. Concern clouded his eyes; there was something more to this than he understood.
"Who is this man!?" Desperation weighed heavily in the air as Ichigo turned to Ai, his voice demanding answers.
Ai remains silent, her tears doing the talking for her, speaking volumes of pain and heartache.
Frustration simmers within Ichigo. He can't bear Ai's secretive nature, a defence mechanism she has adopted, where vulnerability has only caused pain. Ryosuke's intrusion has left her scarred, wary of letting her true emotions show.
Ichigo demands the truth, and Ai defends herself. She argues that revealing the stranger's identity will only change how Ichigo treats him, and that isn't something she is ready for.
In a moment of desperation, Ichigo grips Ai's shoulders, shaking her gently, his eyes pleading for understanding. The tension is unbearable; what is the connection between Ai and this mysterious man?
Ai's scream pierces the air, her hands pushing Ichigo away. Her eyes, filled with anguish and determination, meet him, silently begging him to trust her judgement, to believe that she is doing what she thinks is right.
Finally comprehending the gravity of the situation, Ichigo steps back, allowing Ai the space she needs. She cradles the injured man in her arms, her grip tight as if she never wants to let go. Blood stains her once pristine white jacket, but she doesn't seem to care.
In that fragile moment, the stranger, Hikaru, opens his eyes. His voice, barely audible, whispers her name. Ai hugs him even tighter, staining her white jacket with his blood.
