Spring.
It was the season when snow melted, and adventurers who had hibernated indoors for the winter would finally venture out once again.
During spring, monsters became more active due to their breeding season. That's how it usually went.
But this spring was different.
"Don't wanna–! No! It's cold outside! Hey, what's wrong with you? Are you two idiots? There's still snow everywhere, so why are you rushing to go out? Are you still children? Are you as eager as little kids who can't wait to play outside? If you really want to, then go by yourselves!"
Spring was also known as the time when people got hot-headed.
Even though it was technically spring, there was still plenty of snow outside of town.
Aqua clung to the couch in front of the fireplace, while Darkness and Megumin made a valiant effort to pry her away.
In response to the two who were eager to take on quests due to the surge in monster activity, Aqua was throwing a tantrum, complaining that "it's still cold" and "I don't want to."
"Who's the kid here? Aqua, you're acting like a child! Come on, let's go! You've lazed around enough during the winter; it's time to get to work! Otherwise..."
"Frogs and other monsters are becoming active outside the town, and I've heard that the farmers are suffering losses. Adventurers have a duty to protect the residents! Hey, Aqua, release your grip now, or else..."
Megumin and Darkness glanced in my direction as they said this.
"You'll end up like him..."
"You'll end up like him..."
Their voices were in perfect harmony.
Aqua timidly followed their gaze and looked at me.
"Even I don't want to end up like that... But you should take care of that loser before talking about me!"
Aqua made a somewhat rude comment with a complex expression.
"Hey, you girls, even I, who is usually quite gentle, will snap if you keep this up. What's all this talk about being a loser? It's rather impolite, you know?"
"If you've got something to say, then get off that small chair..."
Aqua, still clinging to the couch, replied to my protest.
I swept back the bangs that covered my forehead, releasing a cool exhale before reclining in my new, rather spacious and luxurious chair.
I was feeling particularly cool today.
The weather was bone-chilling, and I had no patience for foolish opinions.
With the 340 million Eris I had earned in rewards, I decided to buy the most extravagant chair I could find, which I then placed in the center of the living room.
But this chair was no ordinary chair. It resembled a throne fit for a king like me, with the added perk of being able to swivel, just like a gaming chair.
It also had a lever that allowed me to transform it into a comfortable bed, complete with the most luxurious mana-infused blanket I could find, ensuring I'd always stay warm.
And hidden under the seat was a small heater, so even my buttocks would never feel the chill.
Whoever designed this throne clearly understood that I was destined to sit on it and become a king.
Now, I was left with only 15 million Eris.
If you're wondering how I managed to spend so much money in such a short time...
It was because I had momentarily forgotten that the reward would be shared among the four of us, as we all participated in Vanir's defeat.
We each received an equal share, which left us with 85 million Eris each.
I gave around 40 million Eris to my parents so they wouldn't pester me with multiple letters about visiting or wanting me to introduce them to the girls.
The potential misunderstandings and complications would be unbearable.
I decided I would visit them when I eventually found a normal girlfriend.
The throne cost around 10 million Eris, the blanket about 5 million, and I set aside another 5 million for advanced payment on nightly succubus services.
I wasn't too concerned about the money, thanks to my last visit to Wiz's shop.
We returned to town after defeating the Demon King's General, only to find that the devil Vanir was very much alive and working at Wiz's shop.
He then delivered an ominous prophecy regarding Darkness and proposed a business opportunity.
Vanir wanted to purchase my business of delivering products to clients and share the profits, with 30% going to him and 70% to me.
He also wanted me to remain the official owner, so he could handle all the shady dealings behind the scenes.
In essence, he'd be my business partner and accountant, allowing me to enjoy a passive income stream without much effort on my part.
Life was looking pretty good.
However, my contentment was short-lived when those two girls approached me as I looked down from above.
"Speak, minions..."
I delivered such a cool line like an evil villain.
Their eyes held a glare, but they quickly turned gentle as they tried to coax me.
"Kazuma, it's time to come out of there, okay? Otherwise, you'll be a bad influence on Aqua. I know you're really good at making money, but the snow is already melting outside. It's time to get active again, alright?"
Megumin said with a gentle smile, as if she were soothing a stubborn child.
"That's right, Kazuma. The chair does seem cool for the winter, but it's time to let it go. Come on, help me like you did in the dungeon back then. Hurry, let's do it together..."
Darkness, also smiling, tip-toed toward me and reached out to remove the blanket...
Lurk!
"Freeze!"
I cast a spell at Darkness's vulnerable neck before they could react.
"Ahhh—!"
Darkness, whose neck and back were suddenly frozen, let out a scream.
I had used Lurk before they even realized what happened and returned to my throne.
It seemed that Freeze was doubly effective in this season, as it made Darkness clutch her neck and shiver while squatting down on the carpet.
Is she enjoying it as well?
"W-When did he get so fast? Don't push your luck, Kazuma! You're lazing around too much, even if the debts have been cleared! Get up now! Ah, what do you want to do with that hand, don't resist, and obediently—ahhh—!"
I grabbed Megumin's hand as she tried to pull my blanket and activated Drain Touch.
Megumin, her mana and vitality drained, shook off my hand with a yelp and jumped back in a panic.
She fell onto the carpet, knocking into Darkness, who was still clutching her neck.
Megumin held the back of her head, moaning as she kicked her legs in the air.
"Don't look down on me. After all, I'm Kazuma-san, who's crossed swords with Demon King's Generals and high bounty targets. Do you really think a clumsy Crusader and a silly Archwizard can defeat me? Come back after raising a few levels."
I poked my head out from the kotatsu and lectured them.
"Kazuma-san is getting good at using tricks; how troubling. But I'm fine with that. No one will fight for my special seat if Kazuma stays in his kotatsu."
Aqua, glued to the couch before the fireplace, commented as she observed the other two girls.
Finally, the two of them stood up with tears in their eyes and glared at me.
But even with their intense gazes, I didn't feel that the current me would lose to anyone.
Oh no.
"Hey, this is bad. I have an emergency; I need to go to the toilet. It's a bit willful, but can we have a short truce? Sorry, but can you carry the throne to the bathroom door, please? It may look big, but I'm sure the both of you can lift it with your manly strength."
I requested of the two of them as I sent mana to the throne's heater.
This throne was made with ores that would heat up when infused with mana.
So, once I got out of the ch—uh, throne, the mana supply would stop, and the seat would cool down.
Fortunately, I had pilfered some mana from Megumin, so it would stay warm for quite some time.
I expected the two of them to be angry, but they exchanged glances and followed my instruction obediently.
Megumin got in front of me, grabbed the corners of the chair under the kotatsu, and said:
"You take the other side. Let's carry this man outside."
"On it. Aqua, I know you don't want to leave the fireplace, but lend us a hand. You just need to help us open the balcony door."
"Stop, stop! That's inhumane! This chair cost me 10 million! Hey, stop...! If you don't stop, I'll use Steal! I'll use Steal!"
"10 million for the World's Smallest Chair."
Aqua mocked.
Steal was quite effective against Megumin and Darkness, but not Aqua. The last time I used it on her, it didn't yield anything significant.
Surprisingly, Megumin just sneered.
"We've already taken baths together, so there's nothing to be shy about. If you intentionally steal my panties, you'll be branded a lolicon forever!"
Why is she so unhesitant? Why is she so unladylike?
Darkness, on the other hand, wanted to compete with Megumin but was hesitant and embarrassed.
"I've been seen naked and washed Kazuma's back too; something like Steal... Steal is... Ughh..."
And then Aqua chimed in with:
"Let's go, throw this hikikomori turned bum out the window!"
I panicked.
"Don't do that! Let's talk! When it gets warmer, I'll let you cast two explosions in one day! I'll use Drain Touch to take mana from Aqua and let you use Explosion twice, instead of once a day!"
Megumin was thrilled by the offer, but Aqua wasn't having it.
"Don't wanna! Why must my valuable holy mana be used to do such silly things? My mana stems from the deep faith of the Axis cultists. This is the important mana given to me by my precious devotees! I won't let you!"
"You heard her, Kazuma."
Megumin gave me a sinister grin, rivaling that of Vanir's.
"K-Kiritsu, s-save me from these three women! They're trying to kill me! My life is in danger...!"
Kiritsu, resting on the couch next to Aqua, did not respond to my pleas.
"Unfortunately for you, Kazuma, you haven't taken care of your sword ever since you got a small fortune."
Darkness scolded.
She had been using Kiritsu for her swordsmanship training in the cold spring, and it wasn't a typical training routine.
Instead, she dueled with Kiritsu, who was much better than her, using her own sword.
Each time they returned home, it was Darkness who was covered in dirt and had scratches on her armor, while Kiritsu remained unscathed.
I wasn't sure how the two of them had become so close, but it seemed like I would have to get a new sword if this continued.
As my brain scrambled with endless thoughts...
"Three... two... one-!"
"Three... two... one-!"
"Three... two... one-!"
"Ahhhh-!"
The throne, including me, was tossed outside.
...
The four of us walked outside, into the town with the chilly wind causing me to shiver.
"We each gave you 3 million eris to reimburse. Could you please stop having that cold look on your face? You're scaring the kids."
Darkness said to me.
"Yeah, it would be a bad look for us since we've just defeated Vanir."
Megumin chimed in.
Before Aqua could say anything to add in...
"3 + 3 is 9 million. The chair cost 10 million. Thankfully, the blanket was only dirty, so I'll just clean it. Where did the rest of your guys' money go?"
"I spent it on private matters..."
Darkness said and left it at that.
"A new magical staff. With this, my Explosion is twice as powerful, and it was the only one in stock," Aqua replied.
Again, Aqua was about to say something, but I interrupted her.
"I don't even want to know. There's something I have to do at Wiz's shop, and then we'll go to the blacksmith, and then we'll do a quest."
The girls then had their mouths shut as we entered Wiz's shop.
The bell rang, and Wiz welcomed us as usual.
"Good evening, Kazuma-san and his party members."
"I'm here for my daily tea- I mean, I am here to see if your tea skills have dulled."
Wiz reacted strongly to Aqua's words, becoming frightened and squirming.
"I-In a bit! I-I have a delivery coming in just a few minutes, so please wait, Aqua-sama."
"Hmph. Then I'll do what I wish in your shop."
Wiz hurriedly walked to the back of her shop to wait for her products to come in.
Before she sat at the table, Aqua began sniffing the air like a dog catching a new scent and wondering what it was.
"This shop... This shop smells like the devil that Megumin killed!"
Darkness and I had the same reaction, realizing that we had forgotten to inform Aqua and Megumin that Vanir was alive and well, now an employee at Wiz's shop.
"As always, you gods and goddesses have noses rivaling that of a mere stray dog! Welcome! Welcome! Did you truly believe that you could rid yourselves of me so easily?"
Vanir, who had cleverly disguised himself as a customer, suddenly materialized out of thin air.
It was unmistakably him since none but the four of us were regular visitors to this place.
"Here for another match, eh? Bring it on, scrawny devil!"
Vanir simply chuckled in response to the provocation.
"We can settle it during a full moon. For now, I have some matters to discuss with that young lad who can't seem to keep his eyes off the well-armored girl's chest."
"Hey!"
Meanwhile, Megumin reacted as if she had seen Death incarnate, but for entirely the wrong reasons.
"I-Impossible... Someone... survived my Explosion...? M-Maybe I got scammed! T-That's right! I was scammed! This magical staff is a faulty product! I'm going to break it, find a new one, test it out, and then purchase it! But first, I'll blow that conman's shop to smithereens!"
"That was your previous staff that you used on him. Calm down. And don't go blowing up any shops."
Darkness was busy comforting Megumin, and Aqua, having been rejected by a lich and a devil, started exploring the shop out of sheer boredom.
This left me and Vanir to discuss business matters.
"Business seems to be flourishing, young man."
"How well, exactly?"
"More than I had anticipated, considering my ability to foresee premonitions."
That sounded promising.
"Are we also adhering to the usual safety and labor regulations?"
"Fear not, I have all of that meticulously covered. I am more acquainted with the laws of this world than the most skilled criminal lawyer you could hope to find."
"But there aren't any."
"Exactly! Anyway, I just need you to sign a couple of papers. Don't bother reading them, as someone like you would probably soil their pants upon reading the first sentence."
Vanir pushed a set of documents and a black pen toward me.
"Is this some kind of devil's contract or something... Gasp...!"
"Told you so."
I squeezed my eyes shut as hard as possible, rapidly signing all the papers.
Taxes!
"Splendid. Now we won't have to deal with those pesky tax collectors anymore. They're the only group of people from whom it's challenging to evoke negative emotions. That's all I needed. Your business idea is a one-in-a-trillion opportunity in this world, and I would be a fool to let the chance for a substantial sum of money slip through my fingers."
Vanir meticulously rearranged the papers, causing them to overlap perfectly before stowing them away.
"In this world?"
Could Vanir discern Japan merely by observing me? What other capabilities did this devil possess?
I was relieved that he didn't take anything seriously except for quarreling with Aqua.
"What is this...? It looks like the wine back at home."
Behind me, Aqua took a sip from an evidently potion-filled bottle. She did so without any hesitation, thinking it had the same color as her mansion wine.
"It tastes like lemonade for some reason..."
Darkness and Megumin were engrossed in examining other products and remained oblivious to Aqua's actions.
While I was preoccupied with pondering Vanir's abilities...
"What... Woah... Huh...?"
Aqua began making a series of noises behind me, prompting me to turn around to see what was happening with her.
To my shock...
"Kazuma... Why are you looking at me like that...? Burp..."
In the blink of an eye, Aqua had gained approximately 150 pounds...
Darkness and Megumin gaped in shock.
"Aqua... Y-You don't look so good. Or should I say... so healthy..."
Darkness uttered, hoping not to hurt Aqua's feelings.
"What are you talking about? I feel fine. Though I suddenly feel kinda tired. I only stood up for 5 seconds after drinking the wine..."
"I-I think it's best if you sit back down, Aqua!"
Even Megumin couldn't resist chiming in.
"Nonsense! Kazuma, do I look fine?"
"Aqua, you've transformed into an obese goddess..."
I delivered the final blow without hesitation.
"What?! Impossible! Quick, someone give me a mirror! Oh, there's one right next to me. That's convenient! What...?!"
Aqua finally realized the enormity of her body transformation.
From her once-slender and perfectly proportioned figure, everything had expanded, except for her eyes, lips, nose, and hair.
Somehow, her clothing had expanded along with her body, perhaps made of elastic material.
"I... I've become a fat slob like Kazuma! Wahhhhh!"
Aqua burst into tears, rivaling the fountains in town.
"Muahahaha! Everything went according to plan!"
Vanir began manically laughing, siphoning the negative emotions from Aqua.
I rose from my chair, hoping to resolve the problem she had brought upon herself quickly before it descended into chaos.
"I told you not to drink anything that didn't look safe! Just because something resembled wine doesn't mean you can consume it! It clearly had a label indicating it was a potion! More importantly, who would want a potion to turn them into an obese version of themselves..."
"Please save me, Kazuma! I don't want to weigh more than Darkness! That's her thing, not mine! I'm supposed to be perfect in every way!"
"I-I'm not heavy at all, Aqua! What are you saying?"
"Okay, there has to be a potion that reverses the effects somewhere."
I scanned all the potions on display.
- Become a werewolf.
- Run super fast but lose your legs in the process.
- The opposite of the drinker.
"Here! Drink this. This should help."
I took a blue potion from the shelf and handed it to Aqua.
She unsteadily took it, spilling some of the blue liquid on my hand.
Unconsciously, I licked the remnants of the potion on my hand.
It was probably not the wisest decision, but it was only a small amount.
How bad could it affect me?
"Taste like strawberry for some reason..."
Suddenly, my brain started sending mixed signals, causing my body to experience a mini-seizure before settling down.
"K-Kazuma, are you alright...?"
Darkness asked, concerned.
"I'm okay, Darkness. I am perfectly fine."
I glanced in the mirror and saw that I was still my normal self, although I wouldn't have minded having a bit more muscle and height.
But that really didn't matter to me.
"See, I am-"
A pair of breasts began to grow on my chest.
My buttocks expanded slightly, and my posture changed immediately.
At this point, chaos reigned, as Megumin and Darkness struggled to process what was happening in their minds.
Meanwhile, Vanir was on the floor, laughing heartily, enjoying the negative emotions emitting out of me and Aqua.
"I've got a woman's body! Ahhhh! This is bad! Really bad! Darkness, save me like you did before!"
"I-I don't want to! I don't want to become a man!"
Even my voice had transformed into a female one.
This unexpected turn of events gave me an idea...
"K-Kazuma-sama... I've watched you from afar... And you looked so... so cool... Y-You see... I've always loved you..."
Kyahhh!
Finally, I heard a female voice utter the words I had always imagined, even though it came from me.
"I wonder what my breasts feel like..."
Darkness shot me a cold look and said:
"Y-You really are..."
I was about to take a peek under my shirt but...
"Y-You guys...! Look at Aqua!"
As Megumin pointed out Aqua's transformation, we all turned our attention to her...
Or should I say, him...
"What happened now? Why do I suddenly have the urge to go to the bathroom for private matters..."
Aqua had transformed into a man with a tall and muscular build.
She now resembled a god, or perhaps a Greek God.
And why did I suddenly have the urge to flirt with her? It must be my female instincts.
Her muscles were quite impressive, and her elastic clothing left little to the imagination.
Wait, what am I doing?! Considering sleeping with a male version of Aqua! Only an idiot would entertain that thought!
"K-Kazuma, I've turned into a man! I've become the epitome of masculinity! It didn't work at all! Now I'm gonna have to shave my legs and chest every day forever...! Wahhhhhh! I can't go back to normal! "
Even her crying looked exceptionally cool and handsome.
"H-Hold on! Let me find another solution."
At this point, I was merely guessing as to which potion could cure both of us.
I decided to rely on my luck rather than my instincts.
Maybe if we drank a potion of the same color that Aqua had consumed previously, we could return to normal.
I grabbed a potion that resembled wine, tossed it into Aqua's mouth for him to drink, and then consumed the other half of the potion.
Aqua and I spun around from the potion's effects.
My chest expanded even further, but not into breasts, and every fiber of my muscles grew exponentially larger and stronger.
"Check it out, guys."
I was thrilled with the results.
I grew taller and more massive...
"I'm buff."
I could potentially become an Olympic bodybuilding champion if I wanted to.
I wondered if...
I checked the inside of my pants and smiled with satisfaction.
"Hahaha! This is amazing! I suddenly have the urge to bench press a thousand pounds for 20 reps!"
Darkness and Megumin redirected their attention toward Aqua.
Aqua had finally reverted to a female, but she now sported glasses that belonged to an expert scientist or your cliche nerd character.
"By the goddesses... It seems I have become... ludicrously intelligent! I am able to discover everyone's weaknesses just by looking at them in an instant. For the blonde one, it's her ticklish spots, aside from her inability to hit things. For the small one, it's her peculiar tendency to speak longer than necessary. For the devil, I only need to use 10% of my powers to eliminate her. And the lich outside... she isn't even a threat to me!"
Aqua was engrossed in her newfound intellectual pursuits, so I took the opportunity to check myself out in the mirror, striking a series of famous bodybuilder poses from my world.
"Man, I should really work on making the veins in my fingers pop out..."
"And for this clueless man who has proven ineffective in finding a cure... I merely need to insult his fragile ego..."
"What did you say, nerd?!"
I grabbed Aqua's collar, glaring at her with the intent to teach her a lesson.
"As expected."
"You geeks and nerds infuriate me! Check out my pecs, little girl! You think you can beat me this behemoth of a man!"
I flexed as intensely as I could to flaunt my newly acquired physique.
Aqua merely scoffed and grabbed all the potions from the shelf, mixing them together, much like a typical nerd would do.
"As much as I'd love to become the smartest woman alive, I genuinely miss the old days of lazing around in the mansion, lounging on the couch, devouring as many chips as I could, and taking a bath three times a day just to pamper myself. Those were wonderful days!"
Whatever.
I turned to Darkness and Megumin.
"I've made up my mind, guys. I'm disbanding the party to pursue my bodybuilding career. I'll keep the business running, but you guys will have to find a new party member to take care of you. I'll be busy with more attractive women fawning over me."
"Huh?"
"Huh?"
"Hush now, buffoon. The more you speak with those ridiculous poses, the greater the chance you'll accidentally stumble upon the potion to cure us, resulting in an explosive kaboom shockwave that sends us all to the heavens!"
"What?"
"Do I have to repeat myself? I said I'm going to transform us back into our original bodies! Sheesh, I hate blocky meatheads like you."
I snatched the potion from Aqua's hand.
"No way!"
"Hey, what on earth do you think you're doing?"
I held the potion up high, preventing her from reaching it with her shorter height.
"I'm going to stay this way forever! My harem popularity is just about to take off! I'm not going to let this chance slip away!"
I tossed the potion toward an empty doorway.
"I'm back, Aqua-sama. Now, here is your tea-"
Wiz walked into the doorway, colliding with the potion.
A massive explosion rocked the shop.
As the smoke cleared, Darkness, Wiz, and Vanir remained unaffected by the blast.
Megumin tumbled to the ground from the shockwave.
Aqua and I were sent flying backward by the explosion, sticking us to the wall like a scene from a cartoon.
"This useless heap of muscle nearly got us all killed if I hadn't minimized the explosion's effects at the last second..."
"Hahaha! Kaboom! Farewell, everyone, now I'm off to start a new journey...!"
"I think not."
Aqua tossed a second potion at my face, and the liquid entered my mouth, forcing me to drink it.
"Good thing I made a spare just in case you pulled a stunt like that."
Aqua consumed the remaining portion of the potion.
We both began shaking uncontrollably once more before returning to our original forms.
"Oh man... my brain is hurting for some reason. This is even worse than a hangover."
"My hard-earned muscles..."
I could hear ominous footsteps approaching my defeated state.
I looked up to see Darkness and Megumin, glaring down at me, much as I had looked down upon them from my throne.
"What was it that you said, Kazuma?"
Megumin inquired.
"I believe he mentioned something about leaving the three of us just because he went through a major body transformation."
"Right. Right. And how he was going to pursue a group of females more 'attractive' than us. But now he's reverted to his weak, skinny state..."
"So, what should we do with him...?"
"The usual."
...
"Let's take a few days off from regularly coming into Wiz's shop."
I suggested to the three troublesome girls.
The damages caused by Aqua, and perhaps by myself, amounted to about 2.5 million eris, considering the cost of the potions we consumed and the expenses for repairing Wiz's shop, which needed a complete interior reconstruction.
"Are we finally going to do a quest yet? I want to test my new abilities right now. I can hardly wait."
Megumin impatiently urged, her youthful enthusiasm shining through as expected of someone her age.
"Hold on. I have something to do at the local blacksmith's shop, and then we'll find a quest."
We reached the blacksmith's shop as we conversed.
In the past, I had asked the shop owner to teach me the skill of Smithing, which I had learned when I discovered Kiritsu in the dungeon.
This skill allowed me to work with metals and create various items.
However, with the abundant amount of money I earned, I had no real need for such a profession.
"Yo~! Old man, is it done? Is my sword ready?"
"Welcome... Oh, it's just you. That katana you said would come to my shop arrived just an hour ago!"
Despite the significant expenses I had incurred, I had spent a small fortune on a blacksmith located in the Royal Capital.
The Royal Capital had its own adventurer guild, blacksmith shop, and even a mixed bath, which I might visit one day.
Megumin had also informed me that the Crimson Demon Village had its own blacksmith shop, responsible for crafting Darkness's original armor, which, while not of the highest quality, had managed to protect her from an Explosion spell, a legendary feat in itself.
But in the Royal Capital, Darkness had received a brand new set of armor made from adamantite, the strongest metal in the world.
It was a challenging decision to make regarding which blacksmith to hire, so I decided to combine the efforts of both, hiring a messenger to travel to the Royal Kingdom with explicit instructions for creating a brand new katana.
I asked the messenger to have the katana delivered to the Crimson Demon Village for further enhancements, fully aware that it might be a considerable waste of money.
My decision to acquire another katana wasn't to replace Kiritsu.
It just came to me all of a sudden and I don't know why.
"Here it is!"
The blacksmith exclaimed as he presented me with the sheathed sword.
The sword had a katana's characteristic curved shape.
I picked it up and drew it...
"Oh... It looks great...! Although... it seems rather short... A bit different from the measurements I requested... Did they make a small mistake and attempt to fix it?"
The sword looked exactly like Kiritsu, only smaller.
"I'm not entirely sure; they simply gave it to me and teleported back to their village."
The thought that they could teleport back to their village in an instant intrigued me.
That gave me an idea, but first, I needed to understand why they decided to make this katana a bit shorter than Kiritsu.
A note was attached to the handle of my brand new katana.
- We thought that this blade would be much cooler if it were shorter, giving it the appearance of an assassin's knife...!
Sincerely,
The Crimson Demons...!
"Does everything they do have to fit their idea of 'cool'?"
Considering I had already spent nearly a million eris to get this sword finished, I might as well try it out.
"Kazuma, are you sure your sword won't be upset that you're replacing it?"
Darkness inquired.
I glanced at my belt.
"It's not reacting at all."
Surprisingly, Kiritsu didn't seem to object to the presence of a new weapon in my hands.
Either Kiritsu was sick of my constant wielding, or he had other intentions.
"Also, this must be your first weapon crafted by a blacksmith. The last step is to write the name of the sword on this magic talisman and attach it to the hilt to complete it. This will be your precious sword from now on, so pick a nice name."
Naming the sword...
I examined the blade and considered names that I'd come across in various games.
"Kazuma, Kazuma, hurry up with the name. I've been staying home all winter, and my urges have been piling up!"
"But you cast your Explosion every day. Be patient; naming a weapon is important. I need to think about it carefully."
I responded to Megumin, who was impatiently rushing me, and I delved into deep thought.
Muramasa... Masamune... Yamato... Miyamoto...
They all sounded too cliché. I already had a Japanese name for my first sword.
I needed something unique, like Excalibur... or...
"I've got it...! Skofnung...!"
"Chunchunmaru."
"... What did you just say?"
"I said Chunchunmaru. Its name is now Chunchunmaru."
"Are you an idiot? Why would I give my brand new sword the same name? Wait, not the same name! Why would I give both of my swords that stupid name?"
Before I could react, Megumin had already embraced my new sword.
No, no, no.
"This is an expensive custom-made item, okay? As my precious sword, I have to give it a cool name..."
"Ah!"
The owner exclaimed as he saw Megumin embracing the sword.
I looked at the talisman on the hilt of the sword.
On the talisman was...
"... Miss, you already wrote the name down...?"
"I did. From today onwards, this sword shall be known as Chunchunmaru. It's settled, Kazuma! You can name your first sword whatever you want. Let's go on a quest now!"
"You, you, what have you done? Ahhh...! My sword...!"
Megumin pulled me along, and I reluctantly carried my sword now adorned with a bizarre name.
"– Hey you... That sword cost a lot of money, and you just... If I use this sword to defeat the Demon King, it'll be displayed in a museum and labeled 'The weapon of the legendary hero, holy sword Chunchunmaru'–how are you going to fix that?"
"I've already picked a cool name to replace Kazuma's indecisiveness. What's the problem? Don't you think it's a cool name, too, Darkness and Aqua?"
Darkness and Aqua wore expressions of sympathy.
But then she quickly thought of a bright idea and suggested:
"Kazuma, with all this money that you now have... Why not also get a brand new set of armor? You're practically bare naked without one, no offense..."
"We've already tried it."
"We've already tried it."
The blacksmith and I replied in unison.
"Oh? What happened then?"
"There were issues with... moving around..."
My pride as a man was suddenly wounded.
Darkness didn't say anything more, as if she had expected an answer like that.
...
We were about to embark on a quest when...
The sounds of thunder and lightning echoed in the sky.
I forcefully pushed open the mansion's front door, drenched in rainwater and feeling the cold once more.
"Aww... Why did you all decide not to go? Just because of some rain? I didn't even get to unleash my daily Explosion spell today... Hey, Darkness...!"
"Not today. Please ask someone else."
Darkness was also soaked, but regrettably, her armor concealed everything beneath, leaving me unable to see what was underneath her wet clothes.
Megumin had nothing exciting to see either...
"Hey, Kazuma...!"
"No."
"Aqua...?"
"I need to take a bath since I'm all dirty again. I told you we shouldn't have gone outside! All we did was follow Kazuma as if we were his bodyguards."
"Yun- Ah... Never mind...!"
"The fact that it is raining means that winter is truly over, Aqua. That is a good thing. Not a bad thing."
Darkness remarked, twisting her ponytail to remove the water it had collected.
"It doesn't mean it's still cold!"
"I'll go take a bath first as compensation!"
"Not so fast!"
"Hold on, me too!"
The three girls suddenly raced each other to the bathroom.
Hm... Should I put my ear against the door?
...
"Achoo!"
I woke up early in the morning with a sneeze, which wasn't a good sign.
What's with this sudden headache? And I feel weaker than usual for some reason.
I groaned as I rose from my bed and cleaned myself up before having breakfast.
However, I didn't have much of an appetite either, which was another bad sign.
"Kazuma! Kazuma! Let's go today! The sun is up! Let's do a quest and break a new world record!"
How energetic was this little girl? It was only 8:00 am, and I'd never woken up this early before.
"Kazuma is awake already? This is surprising. Perhaps he finally realized how important it is to do a single quest per day."
Even Darkness had already equipped her armor, which was covered in dirt and scratches.
She must have been training with Kiritsu early in the morning again.
I didn't mind at all, to be honest.
I just hoped she didn't name him, as Megumin sadly did to my new sword yesterday.
"Do you guys not see my ugly face, droopy eyes, and leaking nose? I'm sick! I can't go outside today... It was probably the rain that caused this..."
"Hmm? What do you mean? Kazuma always and has always looked like that."
"How rude, Megumin..."
I ate as much as I could, even though it felt disgusting because it might save me from having to walk back to my bed.
As I was drinking from my cup of water to hydrate myself, a soft hand touched my forehead.
"Hmm... Your head is starting to burn up. You are indeed sick."
Darkness stood beside me, slowly bending forward to look into my eyes, and her voice was filled with a slight concern.
"What's with you touching my head?"
"O-Oh, sorry. I'm just used to touching the foreheads of sick children to measure their temperature."
"I'm not a child... Man, I don't think anything can get worse than it already is."
"Alright, it doesn't feel cold anymore! I can feel it! The nature of this world is telling me that luck is on our side today! Let's go to the guild and find something expensive to eat, guys!"
It was 8 in the morning. This goddess wasn't usually that active and energetic.
"I'm afraid that Kazuma might not be able to come with us. He's got a fever from the rain yesterday."
"What? Kazuma, how could you get a simple cold from the rain? Imagine what the Demon King could do to you with the weakest curse he can cast."
"Shut it. I'm going back to bed. The three of you can do whatever you want with your own money. Make sure not to get my name involved if you guys cause any trouble."
As I weakly rose from my seat to head back to bed, Megumin suggested:
"Can't you heal him from his sickness, Aqua?"
"Can't. A sickness can only be cured naturally with time. Though if I put serious effort into healing Kazuma, I would just make him more energetic than a toddler on a sugar rush. I'll just stay home as well to take care of Kazuma. If he dies from this sickness, then who else is going to help me defeat the Demon King."
"H-Hey, don't say something like that! I-I won't die from a simple fever, right, Darkness?"
"Obviously not. Alright, new game plan, ladies. We'll all stay home and do our best to cure Kazuma so he can do a quest tomorrow."
Huh, what's with these girls?
A sudden change of heart.
"I'm okay with that. And if Kazuma doesn't agree to go tomorrow..."
All of them had the glare of a serial killer in their eyes.
"Understood."
Hey, I just realized...
This is just like that one romance manga I read.
The main protagonist gets sick, and all of the heroines come over to his house and take care of him.
Saying stuff like: 'Say Ahhh...'
And massaging my feet, covering my forehead with a cold wet towel, and so on!
I'll have to thank the rainstorm for this amazing opportunity.
"Darkness, fetch me a wet-"
"I'll be heading to the witch doctor in the town to see what they can do to help Kazuma's sickness."
Darkness had already left the mansion the moment I asked something from her.
"No matter. Megumin or Aqua, the two of you can-"
Aqua had already taken my spot on the couch, and Megumin was preoccupied with playing with her strange cat with a strange name.
"What are you still doing here, Kazuma? Go take a nap on your bed and wait for Darkness to come back with the witch doctor."
Aqua said to me, munching on chips as if nothing had happened.
These girls are still the same cold-hearted people!
I stomped away to head back to my room.
But then suddenly, my new sword, which was hung in my closet, conveniently slid towards my feet, causing me to fall.
A loud thud emitted from my fall.
"Seems like Kazuma fell."
"Want to go check it out?"
Those girls...!
Also, did I just hear a little boy laughing in my room?
Before I knew it, I blacked out once more on the cold wooden floor.
...
I woke up once more to find myself resting on the couch, my head nestled on a soft pillow.
I wondered for a moment if it could be a lap pillow from one of the girls, but a quick glance revealed it was just an ordinary pillow.
To my surprise, the cat was also perched on my stomach, its presence a mystery.
I turned my gaze toward the window to check the time.
It was approaching the afternoon; Darkness should have arrived any second, but I couldn't fathom what was taking her so long.
Where were the other two girls?
They must've carried me and placed me on the couch, generously providing me with a pillow and a blanket.
Suddenly, a familiar voice broke the silence, shouting:
"Destroyer Explosion!"
"How do I always fall for that? Ugh, I demand a rematch!"
A playful tone followed:
"To request another match, please deposit 1000 eris in the pocket after the beep. Beeeeeep... Beeeeep..."
Aqua handed a small bag of money to Megumin's pocket.
As I continued to observe the interaction between the two of them, Aqua noticed my presence and greeted me:
"Oh, look who is finally awake. Don't worry about the big bump on your head. I healed you during your sleep, so you should be fine. Just get a drink of water and rest until Darkness gets back here."
Megumin chimed in, expressing her concern:
"Hopefully you get better quicker, Kazuma. I am just about to explode any minute since I couldn't cast an Explosion yesterday."
acknowledged their words and got up to hydrate myself once more before reclining on the couch.
As I lay there, I couldn't help but groan,
"Aw man... This headache just got even worse... How long is Darkness taking?"
Worries flitted through my mind; I hoped she hadn't been kidnapped or something.
Oh, who am I kidding. As if there's anyone stronger than her to be able to pull her into a horse carriage or deceive her.
She's a smart girl, I hope...
Megumin attempted to console me, reminding me of the circumstances:
"The witch doctor in this town is always busy, Kazuma. You aren't the only sick person in town. Have patience."
"Yeah... But still... I would do anything to get rid of this fever as soon as possible... Anyone that can cure me, I'll buy them whatever they want..."
The two girls paused their chess game all of a sudden.
"Wh-Who needs the witch doctor, when you have a goddess such as me!"
"Yeah, the witch doctor? I am considered a wizard myself. A simple fever is easy to cure!"
They stood up from their chairs and surrounded my weakened state.
"You gold diggers have your own money to spend."
"What are you talking about? You have our money, remember?"
"Huh? I do?"
"Of course. Darkness, Megumin, and I secretly stashed the remaining money from our reward into your bank account. We all took into consideration that we might walk into a huge debt if we went on a spending spree."
Aqua just revealed something incredible...
These girls have changed for the better.
Then that means... I was the only one who went on a spending spree...
Except Megumin with her new staff, but that was just one thing she bought.
I don't know what Aqua bought.
And I don't know how much Darkness used.
"That's... That's surprising. But either way, the both of you can't convince me that you'll be able to cure me. Once Darkness gets back, maybe I'll buy her something as a small gift for curing me."
Aqua and Megumin exchanged glances, then wrapped their arms around each other's shoulders, turning their backs to me and whispering something I couldn't be bothered to hear.
"Kazuma... Have you ever wondered why Darkness is taking so long?"
Megumin asked.
"Because you said the witch doctor is extremely busy. Which means there is only one in town, and Darkness might be trying to find him or her?"
Both of them shook their heads in unison.
"Haven't you ever wondered why the males of this town never ask to visit the witch doctor?"
"What are you saying? Now that you mention it... Dust did mention something about avoiding him..."
"I was drunk with him, so I didn't remember much."
Or maybe Dust was just making weird noises like, 'Ooh Eeh Ooh Ahh Ahh' noises.
"You guys can't scare me. It's just a simple doctor visit."
"No. No. No. Kazuma, it can and will scare you... I know a guy, who knows a guy, who knew this guy, that was his distant relative, and he once visited the witch doctor."
Why was Aqua trying so hard to convince me?
"The witch doctor put him to sleep to 'cure' him... But do you really want to know what happened to him after being cured?"
Megumin chimed into the story.
"He was a bit high from the anesthesia?"
"Anesthesia? What is that?"
"Don't worry, Megumin. I'll continue the story from here. Anyway, Kazuma. After the man woke up from his small nap, the witch doctor had already disappeared. He checked everywhere in the house to find no traces of him. And so... he continued his normal life, finally cured from his sickness... But when he goes to take a bath..."
Hey, please stop...
"He undressed himself... taking off his shirt... his socks... his pants... and then... Do you really want to know? Do you really want to change your fate forever, Kazuma?"
W-Why was her scary story working all of a sudden...?
"T-Tell me more! Tell me!"
"He slowly takes off his underwear... only to find out... that his thingy had shrunk!"
"Eek!"
"And it never grew back to normal size ever again!"
"Ahhhhhhh!"
"And he couldn't get laid!"
"No more! No more! I get it! I get it! The witch doctor is scary!"
I don't know why I was instantly convinced. Perhaps because I was too desperate to go back to normal again.
"Now then, will you let the two of us cure you then?"
"Yes! Yes! Anything but the witch doctor!"
Megumin and Aqua smiled at each other.
...
"Scalpel, please, Doctor Megumin."
"Here you go, Doctor Aqua."
We were outside in the sunny weather, and Aqua used her scalpel to generously cover my entire face and messy hair with peanut butter and jelly.
"Feeling better?"
"Feeling better?"
"No."
"Create Water!"
She summoned a large pool of water to drench me entirely and wash away all the peanut butter from my hair.
After drying myself off and donning a fresh set of clothes...
"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!"
Using a mirror to reflect the sunlight towards my clothes, a peculiar cat with a strange name was trying to catch the scattered beams of light that danced all over my body.
In the process, it gave me many scratches, tore my brand new attire, and left small scratch marks on my face and hands.
Once the cat grew bored of its game...
"Feeling better?"
"Feeling better?"
"Nuh-uh!"
After Aqua healed me...
"The patient shows significant resistance to our many attempts to cure him. What do you suggest, Doctor Aqua?"
"Hmm... Maybe we should give him a small adrenaline rush to force him to become energetic."
"Great idea."
Aqua seized my brand new sword, which had a rather pitiful name, and started swinging it wildly in my direction.
Naturally, I had to run away from her, fearing she might inadvertently cut me in half.
"Is it working, Kazuma?"
Megumin shouted to me.
"N-Not at all! Please stop that! I'm about to throw- Guahhhhh...!"
Aqua, seemingly undeterred by my agony, jotted down a note to herself on a piece of paper:
"Note to self... Patient is highly resistant to exercising... Perhaps from neglecting his own health rather than his sickness... We'll have to resort to drastic measures..."
After the third round of cleaning myself up, the two doctors deliberated on their next course of action...
"Hmm... Let's place it toward this part of his back."
"No. No. No. Over here is where his spine is. Maybe if we do it on his spine, it'll instantly work, Doctor Megumin."
Shirtless and sitting on the couch, I patiently waited for their decision as they contemplated where to position a large band-aid on my ailing body.
"Ready?" Megumin inquired.
"Yup," Aqua confirmed.
They prepared to apply the band-aid and initiated the process with a countdown.
"Three... two... one...!"
Rip!
"GAHHHHHH!"
I screamed in response to the painful removal, feeling as though they had just given me a painful waxing.
The doctors swiftly removed the band-aid, almost as if they were performing an emergency procedure.
"Patient appears to be screaming like a little girl, showing signs of pain and redness on the skin of his back."
"Restarting the process!"
With determination, they placed the Band-Aid horizontally in the center this time.
Rip!
"WAHHHHHHHH!"
My pained cries echoed through the room.
However, it seemed their efforts had yielded no positive effect.
"No affect."
"Retry!"
Rip!
"GUAHHHHHHH!"
I winced in anguish as they made another attempt, still hoping for a miracle cure.
...
After a series of events that subjected me to extreme physical and mental pain, I found myself in a rather peculiar situation.
"Are you sure this is going to work, Doctor Megumin?"
"Trust me, Doctor Aqua. My little sister did this once and even managed to summon a devil."
"I see."
I couldn't help but inquire, my anxiety mounting.
Megumin turned to look at me, her eyes twinkling with mischief.
"Don't worry, Kazuma, your suffering is about to come to an end with my last resort."
Oh, come on, don't say that!
Just then, the door to the mansion suddenly swung open, and Darkness walked in.
"I'm back, guys. The witch doctor should be coming at any moment-... What is going on here?!"
Her expression a mix of shock and horror.
II was sprawled in the center of the living room, where my throne had once been.
The girls had drawn a star around my arms and legs, and the curtains were tightly closed, shrouding the room in darkness.
The only source of light was a single candle, providing eerie illumination to the bizarre scene.
"Welcome, Nurse Darkness."
"You've arrived just in time, Nurse Darkness."
They added, sounding far too cheerful given the circumstances.
"I was only gone for a few hours because I wanted to buy something to help out Kazuma... W-Why does he look like the sacrificial lamb for a devil?"
"Nonsense. My little sister did this once, and the devil turned out to be friendly after we gave him his food before he tried to eat us. Also, Yunyun might've done it behind my back for other reasons..."
"That makes it even worse! All I asked from the two of you is to take care of him while I was gone..."
"Don't worry, Darkness. I'm doing just fine. In fact, I believe I've gotten a bit better. Achoo!"
Darkness was unimpressed.
"Yeah right! How on earth were they able to convince you that all of this was okay? I'm taking Kazuma with me before you both do something crazy."
Aqua and Megumin immediately interposed themselves between Darkness and me.
"Not so fast! He's our patient! We won't get our commissions if you take him from us!"
"Not so fast! He's our patient! We won't get our commissions if you take him from us!"
Darkness was determined.
"He needs an actual doctor. He looks way worse than before! Step aside!"
"Never!"
"Never!"
Aqua and Megumin stubbornly stood their ground, creating a comical standoff in the midst of this unusual scene.
I had never experienced a group of girls fighting over me before, so this situation felt like the closest I'd ever come to such a scenario.
Aqua and Megumin desperately clung to Darkness's legs as she dragged them, determined to reach my location.
"Doctor Aqua, please buff us up so we can stand a better chance!"
"Great idea, Doctor Megumin. Power us up!"
Their efforts managed to slow Darkness down, but it was clear that her strength was formidable.
"How is she so incredibly strong?"
"We have no choice! Let's focus on getting the patient to safety before his condition worsens."
With this in mind, they shifted their focus from stopping Darkness to carrying me to a safer location.
However, the moment they released their grip on Darkness, she accelerated toward me at an astonishing speed.
She gave me a piggyback ride and raced out of the mansion with lightning speed.
"D-D-D-Darkness! Slow down, please! All these bumps are making me feel queasy!"
Yet, she simply disregarded my plea and entered the town, with the two other doctors chasing us from behind.
From an outsider's perspective, it appeared as if these girls were fighting for my attention.
However, the truth was that they were all in a race to get me to the witch doctor who could cure my sickness.
...
Aqua and Megumin eventually ran out of stamina, their unconventional efforts having proven unsuccessful, forcing them to give up.
It was now Darkness's turn to try and cure me.
We all collectively returned to the mansion, where Darkness gently laid me down on the couch.
As I wrapped myself up with a blanket and rested my head on a pillow, we found ourselves back at Step 1 of the process.
However, any lingering doubts I had were washed away when Darkness returned with a wet, cold towel and a bucket of cold water.
She brought a chair to my side and sat beside me, placing the cold, wet towel on my forehead.
It was a simple, soothing gesture, but it meant the world to me.
Finally, this was something I'd always wanted.
It felt like a small moment of respite, and it made enduring all the suffering and painful processes almost worth it.
Aqua and Megumin sat there with their arms crossed, their earlier enthusiasm now replaced by disappointment.
"Could one of you keep doing this every 2-3 minutes? I have something else that I need to do."
Darkness requested.
"I will."
Megumin volunteered, taking Darkness's seat as she went off to run her other errands.
After about 10 minutes of Darkness's absence, she returned, but this time with a basket of neatly folded laundry in her hands.
"Kazuma, your laundry is finished. They're folded nice and neatly. I'll put them in your drawers since you're sick."
"Thanks."
Darkness nodded and disappeared into my room to put away the laundry.
Curiosity got the best of Megumin, and she suddenly asked:
"So why is Darkness doing your laundry now?"
Oh right, I realized she wasn't there when the bet was made, so she doesn't know the whole story...
"We made a small bet back at her mansion, and I was the winner. The bet was for her to do my laundry for an entire year."
Megumin looked surprised.
"Really? And here I thought you were the type of man to order something completely ridiculous from her."
"Nah, he just chickened out! Hehe!"
I was about to retort when a voice from the background interrupted our conversation.
A knock resounded from our front door, signifying that the witch doctor had finally arrived.
"That must be the witch doctor."
Aqua commented and rose to open the door for the newcomer.
"Good evening, ma'am. I am here for my patient."
The voice of the witch doctor sounded rather mysterious, reminiscent of a certain iconic SCP doctor.
"Yes. Doctor Aqua and Doctor Megumin request your assistance over the matter. Please come."
Aqua replied.
Is she still calling herself a professional in the medical field?
As I watched the witch doctor make his way toward me, it became increasingly evident that this world was far from the modern era of the 2000s.
He bore a striking resemblance to the Plague Doctors from the 16th and 17th centuries, complete with the iconic mask and attire.
Another set of footsteps joined the scene, and Darkness entered the living room.
"Good evening, Doctor."
"Hello. Is this the patient who is currently sick?"
"Indeed. Just a small fever. Though, with the recent events that transpired, it may have worsened..."
Darkness's words hung in the air, and Aqua and Megumin immediately added in.
"Hey, we did our best."
"Yeah, we did the best we could in our medical field."
The witch doctor took Megumin's seat, his large and thick black gloves designed to withstand intense heat as he touched my face and began to observe every part of my body.
"The patient shows signs of tiredness, drowsiness, nausea, redness on his back, and, for some reason, remnants of peanut butter in his hair."
The witch doctor's diagnosis was as enigmatic as his appearance.
Aqua and Megumin visibly flinched as the witch doctor shared his diagnosis.
"A simple heal spell from an Archpriest, a night's sleep, good hydration, and a thorough bath will fix those problems. As for the source of his sickness..."
The witch doctor paused, closing his eyes as if contemplating a grave matter.
"Good Heavens... It's worse than I thought... Like wildfire, it spreads. They should've brought me here sooner..."
My heart sank at his foreboding words.
"I need to get to work, before it decides to shrink even further..."
The witch doctor began to retrieve something from his bag, and the mere sight of it and his words was enough to make me panic.
I attempted to get away from him, but Darkness held me firmly onto the couch.
"No! Don't! I don't want my little Kazuma to shrink even further!"
The witch doctor produced a potion from his bag, which I was convinced was designed to shrink something important.
It seemed so obvious to me!
"Calm down, Kazuma. I don't know what Aqua and Megumin told you to be so afraid of a simple doctor visit, but this is for the greater good!"
Darkness reassured me, her grip reigning supreme.
I had no choice but to comply, and the witch doctor succeeded in making me drink the mysterious potion.
To my surprise, the headache disappeared, and my body finally returned to normal.
"Oh hey, I feel better now."
I no longer felt weak, and my desire for food from the guild had suddenly returned.
"He is cured."
Aqua, still puzzled, asked the witch doctor:
"Hey, how is that possible! Not even I, a beautiful and powerful goddess, can cure a normal fever!"
The witch doctor explained:
"The boy was experiencing something called 'Potion Sickness.' I simply gave him a potion to eradicate all of the remaining potion in his stomach."
"Huh?"
"Huh?"
"Huh?"
"Huh?"
"Had he gone through another day of the potion sickness, a significant part of his brain would've shrunk, and he would be rendered paralyzed beyond help."
"Paralyzed?!"
"Indeed. How many potions did you drink, young boy?"
I recalled the events from yesterday when I had ingested those potions at Wiz's shop in a desperate attempt to save Aqua from her own mistakes.
"Well, I licked one, and drank half of two potions... Which equals to one bottle of potion..."
The doctor expressed his concern:
"Your vitality must be extremely weak to be sick from a single potion. Next time, don't drink anything that looks like a potion. Now then, his sickness has been cured, and I'll be taking my leave. I have other serious appointments to attend to."
With that, the witch doctor departed, leaving the four of us in a state of shock.
"So all of this just because Kazuma's vitality couldn't handle a single potion..."
Aqua remarked in disbelief.
Megumin, however, was more focused on the positive outcome.
"Who cares about that! Kazuma is finally back to normal! Which means we can go on a quest!"
Darkness also had a smile on her face.
"Looks like a few hours until sunset. We still have time to do one! C'mon, Kazuma- Where did he go?"
I used Lurk to sneak back to my room for a much-needed night's sleep.
But before that, I decided to check under my pants to see if my concerns about shrinking were valid.
To my surprise...
"It's gotten bigger..."
I'd have to pay the witch doctor handsomely the next time I encountered him.
Author's Note:
Updates will most likely be Bi-Weekly now since I have something going on in my personal life.
