My Therapy Journal
Journal 3
Written Jan 24, 2023
Soul Scars
I wake up alone, my surroundings are dark on my left and bright on my right. I stand on a ocean of water.
It's blows hot from the left and cold from the right at the same time. The wind blows roughly. It stings when it touches my skin.
A cut appears on my cheek from the wind and a drop of blood falls into the water I'm standing on.
When the blood touches the water it starts raining more blood.
"Is anyone there?" I yell.
At first there is nothing but the fierce howling of the wind then slowly as if by mirage of heat. Different versions of myself appear. Some male and some female. Even child versions of myself appear again some male and some female. But they all have two things in common. Bloodly torn clothing and wounds all across their bodies.
They all step close to me. Some looking at me in remose, some calm, some angry and some happy.
Finally a beautiful women with red hair appears her eyes glow like violet wearing a dress that is torn and bloody as well. The others bow their heads to her as she passes them.
"We called and called to you. And yet you did not hear us." She said both happy and sad.
"I'm sorry. I was blind and stupid." I answered back remorsefully feeling shameful and disgusted with myself for ignoring them even though I didn't knowingly know who they were.
"You are forgiven since it wasn't time yet." She answered back though I still sensed resentment and sadness ebbing from her and the others. The others that looked at me happily had no such feelings.
"Thank you." I whisper out feeling a weight taken off my heart. "I just want to be whole." I told her plainly.
"To be whole, one must make whole." She answered cryptically.
"How do I do that?" I asked feeling frustrated and lost.
Again she answered me crytpically. "To begin again one must start over and fix what was torn apart."
"Please help me!" I begged. "I don't like this." I cried out.
"Each version of yourself you see is a mask you wore. Your mask has been shattered that you can no longer wear it and as such you must embrace what you have become. You and we are the way we are because of your actions and inactions. Heal yourself up. Only then will we heal you and in turn heal ourselves. And you will see the way forward." She finally answered.
