'This is News 3, your source for ALL Royal Woods news! And with us in the studio is Katherine Mulligan, to talk a little more about the mysterious vigilante, The Guardian!'
Popping her head up from a pile of script pages illuminated with blue and red markers, Lyberti Evans, aspiring journalist, let out an excited squee as she leapt over to the dog barf looking couch to watch the program.
'LEO, QUICK, THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT ME!'
Leo, who was still putting away Lyberti's safety platform for when she performed artistic gymnastics, breathlessly replied "Coming!", and he tumbled over to the couch, where he found his head resting on her lap, and looking up at hers. The pair blushed and coughed, ignoring it, as Leo slowly moved himself to sit next to her.
'So you're sure they're gonna mention ou… your footage?', Leo asked, fingers twiddling. He was always nervous when it came to the spotlight. Only reason he ever joined the drama club was Lyberti anyway. Such a contrast to her, he thought, as he stared at her sparkling eyes and bouncy legs. Lyberti looked like she could explode if they mentioned her name. So different from him.
He loved it.
'Um, duh, they have to! I was, after all, the first to record footage of the world's first and (so far) only superhero!', Lyberti bragged, puffing up her chest. 'Not to mention they've interviewed me once! Hard to forget good ol' me!'
Leo could only nod, as he tried to hide the reason he agreed. 'Yeah, that's super cool! I mean, it was also super scary, and my mom kinda got mad at me for being there, and…'
'Shh, shh, it's starting!', Lyberti practically shook Leo, and Leo knew her ears were shut off right now, so he obliged. The commercials ended, something or other about some lame looking magic act, and finally, the news started.
'Welcome to News 3, I'm Katherine Mulligan, and tonight we talk about the mystery that has gripped this town for 18 days now. WHO is The Guardian, WHAT is The Guardian, and DOES she even exist?', the reporter stated, the camera closing up on her and her third rate makeup. The news blurbs below read 'The Guardian: Real or Baloney?'
Lyberti, digging into an imaginary bucket of popcorn, yelled 'Of course she does!'
The camera moved back to show a small window next to Katherine Mulligan. She pointed at it, and Lyberti's shaky cam footage showed up.
'Exactly 18 days ago, local resident Lyberti Evans came to the studio and showed us this self made video of what appears to be a hooded woman fighting a ridiculously strong man.'
'THAT'S ME! LEO THAT'S ME!', Lyberti pointed, as a file photo depicting her hair bow, and barely showing her face popped up on screen.
'Are you sure? It's kinda hard to see.', Leo commented, but Lyberti refused to let that deter her. 'Real icons are recognizable from anywhere. That's why everyone knows who Soup-er Man is, on account of his smelling like soup.'
'People know who Soup-er Man is? I was living a lie my whole life! Wow, you always know the score, Lyberti!', Leo complimented. Lyberti grinned. 'Yeah, isn't it amazing?'
Meanwhile, the broadcast continued. Katherine was now pointing at an image of Carol Pingrey, with what looked like a hooded figure deep deep in the background, too blurry to really see. 'As seen in this instagram post by local town celebrity, Carol Pingrey, the description states that The Guardian had been present to stop what was, apparently, a giant wolf!'
'Wish she'd gotten a better picture.' Lyberti thought, making a click noise as she snapped with her fingers over her eyes. 'Maybe if she left selfie mode.'
'Probably wouldn't get clout.', Leo commented.
'Clout isn't as important as the truth.' Lyberti replied instantly. 'Oh, they better say something about how amazing my find was!'
The camera closed back up on Katherine as she continued her report. 'Most recently, audio footage could be found of a woman, exiting a gas station, complaining about the vigilante. Warning: This audio track may be extremely cringe. Viewer discretion is advised.'
That sound wave diorama thing news shows do showed up, with the title 'Angry Karen karen's about superhero'.
'People at News 3, I am sending this recording because I am DISGUSTED, and OUTRAGED, at the JUDGEMENT that little (BLEEP) in the (BLEEP) gap rejected hoodie told me, I was simply telling a criminal the address of a woman I know, because she insulted my crocs, and somehow this means I am not OKAY, because some (BLEEP) (BLEEP) (BLEEP) THINKS SHE CAN JUST TALK (BLEEP) ABOUT ME, SOMEONE SHOULD TAKE HER ASIDE AND (BLEEP) KILL…'
'Yeah, we had to cut there. SHEESH, AMOGUS, as the kids say, am I right?'
The studio was silent, mind for the local news crickets.
Katherine sighed and continued. "Anyway, all this evidence seems plentiful…'
'Yes…', Lyberti was shaking with excitement.
'And perhaps even substantial enough to prove once and for all that The Guardian does exist…'
'YES…', Lyberti was bouncing up and down.
'And if that was the case, we would have to give credit to the one who recorded her first!'
'YES!", Lyberti cheered, knee sliding on the floor, which made too much noise and caused the old woman in the apartment below to knock her broom on her roof.
Lyberti was just about to let out an operatic rendition of 'We are the champions' when she realised 'Wait, did she say 'WAS'?'
Leo looked concerned and bit his lip as the broadcast continued.
'Yes, whoever probably asked something, that's how it is in the movies, I said 'Was'! See, here in the studio we have famous sceptic and all around grumpy pants Doctor Kurm Udgeon!'
A spotlight opened, right as the lights in Lyberti's apartment went out. Lyberti, in total darkness, watched in dismay as a stuffy looking old white dude with a shitty goatee and taped on glasses waxed poetical about how wrong she was.
'Why, thank you for having me, Korra.'
'Katherine.'
'Whatever. This idle nonsense IS amusing, but I am happy to report to all us sane people that such a character could not exist in the real world. There is no scientific evidence for this supposed 'Guardian' outside of some handheld footage and mostly, reports from teenagers. They are prone to, shall we say, exaggerated whims of fancy.'
'Fancy my ass! What do you know, Doctor… Doolitle! I hated that movie.', Lyberti commented.
'It was quite derivative, and full of gaping plot holes.' Leo added, still trying to comfort Lyberti.
'Yeah, and it sucked too!', Lyberti said through gritted teeth, trying to hide how hurt she was to see this old man crush her integrity.
'So you're saying this footage was faked?', Katherine asked, loving the spicy angle the story had taken. The controversy would get far more clicks than any real expose.
'NO! I WOULD NEVER DO THAT!', Lyberti shook her fist at the TV.
'Yes, those people totally did that!', The doctor replied. 'I say, unless I saw such a thing with my own two eyes, there is no Guardian. Simply a rumour that has turned into a silly urban legend, like Santa Clause, or that Vanilla ice cream is tasty.'
'Yes it is.', Katherine objected.
'No, it isn't.', Kurm drolly replied.
'Yes it is!'
'No, it isn't!'
'Listen you son of a bit…'
The broadcast suddenly stopped, with a commercial for Star hammers the only light illuminating the room.
'Oh, Lyberti, I'm… I'm real sorry. I was sure they'd…', Leo started, but Lyberti took a deep breath, ignoring the pulsating noise in her head, and put on a determined smile.
'Oh, they want real footage? They want evidence, huh? They want the truth?'
Lyberti turned around to Leo with an over the top heroic pose, a display case of a simple newspaper above her sparkling for a moment.
'I'll give them the truth!'
'The Guardian isn't real? What a bunch of bull…'
'Lincoln!', The Guardian scolded through her two way earring radio video camera thingy, as she flew back towards the Loud House. She was unusually calm for a post patrol Lori, which was nice for Lincoln to see. He was already getting used to how stressed she'd get, so seeing her enter through his bedroom window and flop down on the bed was a step up, even if it meant he couldn't cuss.
'I was gonna say poo poo.'
'See, now THAT'S bullpoopoo right there.', Lori smiled with her eyes closed, and Lincoln smiled too. She was in a joking mood, good.
Giving her a bit more space on the bed, Lincoln nodded at her costume. 'Might wanna get rid of further evidence. Not that those guys in the news would care.'
'Don't give it too much thought, Lincoln.', Lori replied, forcing her tired body to get up so she could remove her costume. Being a hoodie and cape mostly, it didn't take too long. It was the mascara that was the time killer. Hiding the costume underneath a plank in Lincoln's room out of a lazy need to not go to the garage (Lincoln couldn't stop staring at the cool feat), Lori yawned really hard. 'The Guardian is meant to save people. And the chances of someone not getting a pic of me at one point is highly unlikely. Especially if that Raven guy is as serious as he seems.'
'I guess that's true.', Lincoln thought, as he dug up from a pile of papers full of phone numbers Lori's new cell. 'Oh, btw, got the contacts back in and all that.'
Lori tried not to laugh, but it was hard. 'Lincoln, you realize it does that itself, right?'
Lincoln's thousand yard stare answered that question.
'It was very sweet, though. Thanks, Linc.'
Lincoln nodded, happy to help. Then, he remembered something, and absent mindedly informed her 'Oh, btw, Bobby sent some text reminder about your picnic date tomorrow at the park. Didn't know he was coming, is Ronnie Anne coming too?'
Lori's eyes widened, and she fell down like a tree, nearly destroying Lincoln's floor.
Lincoln rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. 'Guess that's a no.'
Lori shot up, panicking and walking around in circles. 'Oh, no! No, no, no! I LITERALLY forgot all about that! It's our anniversary!'
'Your anniversary for what, your first conversation about garden gnomes?'
'No, that's on the 24th! Our anniversary, PERIOD.'
Now it was Lincoln's turn to widen his eyes, and he gaped as he looked at the equally shooketh Lori.
'AND YOU FORGOT?!'
'THAT'S WHY I'M PANICKING! I'VE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE!'
'ALSO why is your anniversary date just a picnic, seems kinda lowkey?', Lincoln asked, scratching his head.
'Exactly! Bobby and I tend to go… A little overboard. I was hoping for a quiet, peaceful date, with no grand romantic gestures, just us and our love!', Lori explained in a frenzy, beginning to tear up from the emotions. 'And not only I forgot, but this HAS to happen smack bang during patrol! Maybe if it was early in the weekend, but it isn't!'
Lori sighed, and Lincoln looked on her sadly as she held her head in her hands. But, instead, she shook her head a bit and stood up. 'Okay, okay, this isn't GREAT, but it's fixable. I'm gonna go out there tomorrow, give my boo boo bear the GREAT ANNIVERSARY DATE EVER THAT ISN'T OVER THE TOP, and I am ALSO going to maintain my duty as The Guardian!', she announced, hands on her hips, a determined stare on her face.
'Wonderful!', Lincoln remarked with a thumbs up. 'How tho?', he asked.
'I have no idea! But I'm sure we'll come up with something!', Lori shouted out confidently, and then collapsed on the floor from exhaustion.
Lincoln sighed. 'Dad's gonna throw his back carrying her.'
'Petty theft, again?'
Olivia Smith had heard that sentence too many times over the last three years, but annoying as it was to hear Captain Griffin's judgmental tone, it was the next sentence that hurt far more.
'Unsuccessfully attempted petty theft, Captain Griffin. Hence why she's being let go. Again.' The commissioner replied, not even bothering to look up from the sports section of the newspaper. 'Lions lose again.'
'Yeah, well, whatcha gonna do?', Griffin replied.
No, it wasn't the lions bit that bothered her. It was the first sentence.
Attempted petty theft. In most areas of Michigan, with her history, she'd be spending years and years in jail.
And even with Royal Woods PD's history of 'finding generous donations during arrests', she was let go for a far less cool reason.
'Look, we all know why you're letting me go, can I just go?', Olivia asked, her Ugg boots tapping impatiently on the floor. Her looks could be described as a poorly done homemade cosplay of Darcy Lewis, but without any of the charm or appeal. And her baby blue painted fingernails irritatingly inserted into her palms.
But no one cared, did they?
After all, she wasn't even good at being bad.
'Yeah, yeah, you can go. Don't get into any trouble, ma'am. Not that it would be a real bother.', The commish replied absentmindedly.
'You can't just tell her that! She'll just go off and… fail again, granted, but still!', Griffin cringed at the pathetic display, as Olivia got up and made a 'talk talk' motion with her hands. She then took a megaphone from the commissioner's desk and started announcing her intentions.
'People of Royal Wood's PD, mark my words! You'll all see one day! I'm gonna be a big shot! A real name! I'll be as big as Kim and Kanye! They'll say I'm 'gucci', and 'Totes schway', and 'cray cray good at…'
'WILL YOU JUST GO AWAY?!', Captain Griffin shouted, and Olivia ran off, only to fall flat on her face. The policemen and women all laughed uproariously, as she slowly got up off the floor and pouted, trying not to cry.
'At least my criminal friends will be happy to see me.', she thought, as she trudged away, putting on 'Crazy Frog' on her Zune.
They were, in fact, not happy to see her. Or well, not the happy she hoped for.
'Hey, everyone! It's 'Gucci' herself!', a tall safecracker with a Boston accent shouted out, and the seedy pub in the industrial district burst into laughter.
'Gee, I've seen warmer welcomes in an Antarctic Christian home.', Olivia remarked, as she trudged towards the barstools, still being mocked all the while.
'Hey, Olivia, steal anything else but the storekeeper's time?', asked a barrel chested mobster.
'Hey, Olivia, thanks for coming in! I feel better about myself already!', a stick like conman 'thanked' her.
'Hey, Olivia, how was jail? Oh, wait, you can't even break into there!', a small explosives dealer with a voice like broken glass barbed, shooting a pool ball into a pocket.
'How's breaking into Andre's pants going for you?', Olivia smirked, leading to a few laughs for her. The small man quieted down. But Oliva's feelings of worthlessness didn't.
'Hey, Rocky. Give me the usual and don't hold back. I need it.', Olivia asked as she sat down on the barstool, eyes glazed already.
Rocky, the moustachioed bartender, nodded and grabbed a bottle of milk, but not low fat. Olivia tried to down it in one gulp, but failed midway and wheezed a bit.
'Damn, that's some hard stuff.'
The two tough as nails women criminals besides her snickered in mockery as she caught her breath. Turning around, Olivia tried to ignore.
She couldn't.
'Rocky, I thought you removed the trash. I can still smell it over here.', Olivia muttered, prompting some 'ooh's' from the patrons behind her.
The first girl, a Sonia with tiger and snake tattoos, let out a haughty laugh. 'Is the world's worst criminal really trying to insult me?'
'Succeeding. You wouldn't answer if I didn't piss you off.', Olivia continued, prompting more 'ooh's'.
'Oh, you have real nerve.', Dolly, a master planner, rolled her eyes. 'I bet you didn't even get to threaten the person you were stealing from before they called the cops.'
'I was trying to scare them with the element of surprise!', Olivia announced, standing on the bar table, gaining the attention of the room. Everyone loved to hear about her failures, and some were already passing popcorn.
'Olivia…', Rocky started, actually looking concerned, but Olivia didn't heed his warning, no, she had to prove she was more than a screw up!
Shaking her glass of milk around, spilling some on the annoyed Sonia and Dolly, Olivia began to tell her tale, with dramatic hand gestures and a grand voice.
'There I was, outside Flip's Food and Fuel…'
'Everyone goes there, he doesn't even notice.', One thug remarked, but was shushed.
'Now, I'm no fool…'
'You sure?', another guy asked, only to be shushed too.
'Yes, I am sure!', Olivia shouted out, already sounding like she could cry.
'Olivia, please…', Rocky tried again, but to no avail.
'There I was, outside Flip's Food and Fuel, ready to surprise the man himself! I knew he wouldn't give up without a fight, and I knew he was robbed multiple times! I had to be crafty! So, I came up with a plan!', Olivia declared, her finger up in the air, excited to share what she had undergone.
This really got the attention of the bar, and everyone seemed weirdly shocked.
Olivia continued. 'Sneaking in, I barely avoided him at the corndog station, and narrowly kept my lunch in my stomach. Seriously, what does he put in those, his hopes and dreams, cause they stink!'
Cue some laughter from the crowd. It was refreshing for Olivia to see it come out with her, and not at her.
'Once I got there, I knew I had to take the money without being seen, so I…'
'Did you sneak into the vent system?'
'Or maybe disguise yourself as a customer?'
'Oooh, did you try and sabotage his crappy car, you know, that always breaks down, so you could easily steal all the money, destroy the security camera evidence, and leave him none the wiser?'
Olivia looked very small as she shook her head. 'All of those are, um, very good ideas.', she bit her lip, she hadn't even considered any of those, and in hindsight, they all made sense. But her logic wasn't flawed, she totally knew what she was doing, and only lost thanks to bad luck! Yeah, that wasn't bullpoopoo!
'But my plan totally made sense too! See, I rushed him, and…'
'Olivia, how many times must you learn that rushing them doesn't work? Or going in without a plan?', Andre said, and everyone voiced their agreement. It was funny, but also really tiring, even for those who enjoyed making fun of her.
'Hey, wait! I did have a plan!', Olivia stated, and proudly put her hands on her hips as she explained it. 'See, I had a name tag on that said I was 'Flip', and if that didn't work, I had a backup plan! I'd use the sharpest knife known to man!', She lifted a butter knife, and waved it in the air. 'Watch out, I'm armed and dangerous!'
The entire bar burst into laughter, minus Rocky. It was so funny that people were rolling on the floor, nearly crying.
Olivia was nearly crying too. 'Hey, it wasn't stupid at all! I almost had him, but he saw through my disguise!'
'You are the WORST criminal I've ever seen.', Sonia insulted, stepping up to take the butter knife. 'Oh, no, look at me, I'm gonna die! Noooo!'
'Be careful, that's kinda dangerous.', Olivia warned, before getting dunked on with a whole bottle of milk by Dolly, who just evaded Rocky's grip.
'Look out, boys, she's gonna be a little tipsy!', Dolly stated, before tripping Olivia onto the floor, scraping her elbow.
'Hey, that hurt!', Olivia yelled, tears streaking down her face. The bar kept laughing, though some did seem just a little concerned.
'What hurts is how bad you are.', Sonia stated.
'Yeah, Olivia. You suck at crimes, just like you sucked at high school, and singing, and at your marriage. I bet the only reason you still work as a cashier is cause no one else would take the job.', Dolly stabbed her in the heart with every word.
'Hey, are you okay?', Rocky asked, as he tried to pick her up, but that was the final straw.
'I'M NOT A FUCK UP!', Oliva screamed, as she got up on her own, and smashed her fist on the bartable, nearly hurting herself. 'ALL OF YOU THINK YOU'RE SOOOOO GOOD, BUT YOU'LL ALL SEE, YOU'LL ALL SEE HOW WRONG YOU WERE! ONE DAY, I'LL BE THE GREATEST CRIMINAL, THE MOST FAMOUS CRIMINAL IN THE WORLD, AND YOU'LL ALL LOVE ME!'
Oliva stormed out of the bar, but no one seemed fazed, except for Rocky, who stared at her sadly, wishing she'd find a new path.
But Oliva's path was now paving it's way to destiny.
Walking down the road to her crappy apartment in her crappy street in the crappy world she lived in, angrily humming the 'Ducktales' theme to calm herself down, Olivia passed by a truck that belonged to some weapons corporation or whatever. She had no time to read what words were there.
'You might solve a mystery.', she muttered, stomping her feet.
'Or re-write history!', She said a little louder, smacking a mailbox, hurting her hand further, finally making her snap.
'DUCKTALES, WOO WOO!', She screamed, rainbow colored miniskirt shaking in anger too.
'Shaddup already!', the main truck driver cried out from the, duh, truck beside her.
'Rescue Rangers' theme is better anyway.', said the man in the passenger seat.
The first man looked shocked, and shoved him out of the car. 'HERETIC! IT'S 'DARKWING DUCK' THAT'S THE BEST!'
The two men, now out on the road, began shoving each other, and aggressively singing the themes to each other.
'SOME TIMES, SOME CRIMES, GO SLIPPIN' THROUGH THE CRACKS!', Sang man 2, twisting man 1's nipples.
'DARING DUCK OF MYSTERY, CHAMPION OF RIGHT!', Sang man 1, kicking man 2 somewhere impolite of me to mention.
As this went on, Olivia noticed that the truck's back door had accidentally opened, and inside there was something shiny.
'Are shiny things good robbery bragging rights?', Oliva asked herself, before replying to herself with 'By now, ANYTHING would be good. Plus, shiny!'
Humming her own theme music, and making ninja moves, Oliva 'subtly' ran into the back of the truck to steal the item.
The two men, still singing at each other in anger, were interrupted by the sound of Olivia's shiny stolen item, a metallic blue sheet that looked a lot like a blueprint, charging up.
'Look at me, I did it! I'm finally good at something!', Olivia cheered, before suddenly staring down two gun barrels. 'Holy Guacamole!'
'Put the insanely expensive and dangerous tech down now, ma'am!', Man 1 shouted.
'What he said, I wasn't focusing!', Man 2 cried out.
Olivia closed her eyes and started sniffling, her life flashing before her eyes, and it was yawn inducing. 'I was so close…'
Suddenly, the blueprint finished charging, made a strange sound, and turned into a gun that shot Flip's corn dogs. It was still glowing blue, though.
'Huh? Is it supposed to do that?', Oliva asked, scratching her head.
'I don't know, actually.', Man 1 answered.
'Try turning it on and off again!', Man 2 offered helpfully.
'There doesn't really seem to be a button here, maybe if I shook it real hard…', Olivia tried, but instead the corn dogs shot out, enlarging in size to stick the two men to a nearby wall, their shirts hooked by the sticks on the corndogs.
Olivia's eyes widened, and they widened even more as the gun now turned into a glowing blue tricycle with the phrase "extremely 90's' painted on it.
'STOP! Please, I could lose my job.', Man 1 begged.
'Ha ha, L + Ratio + You fel… Oh, crap, me too.', Man 2 realised. Corn dog sauce dropped on him.
'I DON'T KNOW HOW!', Olivia shouted out, as she found herself taken away, not knowing what was coming next.
'Pen, check!'
Lyberti clicked her pen a few times, once to signify it was ready, the next few times cause she liked the sound.
'Notepad, check!'
The notepad full of doodles, including one of her next to The Guardian, and one of Leo with a heart next to it was placed in her dress pocket.
'Phone, check!'
Lyberti's phone, which was a bright red like her hairbow, turned on, showing she had Katherine Mulligan and News 3 on speed dial.
'I'm totally, completely, positively ready!', Lyberti flashed a smile at the mirror, her tooth gap grin sparkling back at her. Exiting her room in a hurry, she started heading towards the exit to her apartment before hearing an all too familiar sound.
'FOOD, WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO? WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE NICE AND NOT SET ON FIRE?!'
Lyberti rolled her eyes affectionately. 'Shoulda seen that comin'.' Running over to the mini kitchen, she found her father, Kevin Evans, fighting over a flaming pot.
'BACK DOWN, FIRE, OR… YOU'RE FIRED!', Kevin shouted out, and heard his daughter let out a tiny chuckle. He sighed in relief.
Lyberti, removing a gigantic fire hydrant with a smiley face on it from out of nowhere, quickly took the fire out. 'DIE, FIRE, DIE!'
The fire went out, finally, and the charred spaghetti stood there, with it's foam wig, looking very pathetic and silly.
'I am just not getting better at this, am I?', Kevin stated, wondering where he went wrong this time.
Lyberti, trying some of it, shook her head. 'I've only gagged twice, and I don't feel like I hate being alive, so hey, it's a step up from last week's tacos.'
'Lyberti, we spoke about this.', Kevin said super seriously, wagging his sauce covered finger. 'It's called 'The meal formerly known as Taco'. And we do not bring up it's name in fear of it still being alive. Perhaps.'
The two looked side to side in worry, before laughing again, sharing fond smiles for a moment. 'I'll just order out. On the menu is anything that I could basically get for free. So… Gas station burgers. Again.'
'Hey, they taste better than the expensive ones.', Lyberti said sarcastically, as she started off for the door.
'And, perchance, where are you headed, madam?' Kevin asked in a fancy voice, absent minded, and Lyberti simply replied 'Oh, just off to write my name in the history books! I'm going to prove to the world that The Guardian exists!'
Kevin, who curiously was trying the foamy spaghetti, spat it out, and almost choked. Turning to her, with panicky legs and twiddling fingers, his voice sounded like a violin in an old orchestra. 'Hey, HEY, um, kiddo, let's not, um, I mean, isn't today a rehearsal day or something?'
Lyberti turned around, raising an eyebrow in humour. 'Dad, you know the drama club only meets on Wednesday!'
'Okay, okay, but, um, gymnastics! That's today, right?'
'Thursday.'
'Capoeira lessons?'
'Dad I don't do those.', Lyberti asked, now a little sus.
'I could sign you up, no better time than the present!', Kevin offered, jumpy fingers already dialing.
'Dad, we can't afford that, come on!', Lyberti protested, stepping away from the door with the rotting paint and towards the floor that maybe had some small holes here and there. The electricity started flickering again, prompting two grounds of annoyance.
'But don't worry, once I get the evidence on The Guardian, you can send me to a million lessons, and even buy some actual food, because I will be world famous!', Lyberti reassured, kissing his cheek, and preparing to leave again.
Kevin, desperate, shook his head as authoritatively as he could. 'You… Don't do that, please!'
Lyberti took a moment to understand what was up, then sighed in frustration. 'Not this again, dad, I'm a journalist! It's in my blood!'
'You think I don't know that?', Kevin replied, his voice rising not in anger, but fear, and he turned his back, hiding his face. Lyberti, closing her eyes, ignored the pounding of her heart.
The two didn't speak for a moment, but a million words that had been spoken in the past permeated in the air, like a wave of reality crashing over the shore of their lives. The display picture on the wall flashed again, a headline shining for a moment, something or other about a moment in time.
An eternity passed, and Kevin, taking a deep breath, slowly turned around, a mostly unnoticable dampness present on his cheeks. His thinning hair looked even thinner, as if he lost it from simply thinking about… What he was thinking about.
Lyberti walked up to him, as he looked down at her, so big, yet so fragile. She held his hand and kept her gaze.
'I'm… I'm not strong enough.', Kevin admitted through gritted teeth. He was letting her down again. She needed a pillar, but he was a ruin.
Lyberti stared into his eyes, full of genuine truth. 'But I know I can help us. And I can protect myself, you know that. I need to do this, dad. The news is calling me a liar!'
Kevin let out a nose sigh. 'No one watches News 3 except for old people and crackpots in basements.'
'And I'm only a crackpot!', Lyberti joked, hoping it would lighten his mood.
Kevin looked at her, at his girl, and he saw how she almost reached his height. Her tooth was missing, but it didn't seem to hurt like the gaps in his heart. Her hands had their scratches, her knees had their bruises, but none seemed to pulsate, or scream, or play on loop over and over again.
He could tell. When he looked in her eyes. He could see when she just kind of wanted something, and when she needed something. When, even if her motives could be childish, selfish, or even greedy, her heart was still in the right place at the same time. He could tell when it wasn't just about her, even if it could tend to slip over there.
He let out a wry smile, and cupped her face in his scarred hands. 'Heh. Look at you. You're nothing like me.'
He sighed, closed his eyes, and kissed her forehead, repeating a vow in his heart he had said every single night for 14 years. 'Thank goodness for that, my star.'
Lyberti smiled softly, and felt just a little bit better seeing his feel better.
Kevin, however, wasn't done. 'I know this is important to you. And I never want to stop you from doing what your heart desires. But you must promise me. If you find her, and interview her somewhere nice and fluffy with baby duckies and jelly doughnuts, go right ahead.'
He looked at her with utmost seriousness. 'But… If there is danger, and there's some criminal, or worse… I want you to steer clear. Run. Don't think twice. There's always tomorrow. Promise?'
Lyberti shifted her glance just a little, but not enough for it to be noticed. '...I promise.'
'Then go get 'em, kiddo!', Kevin said, saluting her. Lyberti saluted back, and ran off, down the rickety stairs and out the greying building to Leo's building, the sun shining over her.
'Sorry, dad. I hate lying to you. But trust me, it's gonna be worth it.', she thought, as her shadow excitedly jumped with her to the next street.
It was 37 past 15:00, and Lori was stressed the hell out about her date. She was pacing as usual, but was so tense that she was sort of floating in the air at the same time, causing some leaves on the park ground to get swooped away.
'I never forget our dates, never! What kind of romantic partner forgets that? Bobby would never! And of course, this has to happen during patrol! What if someone is out there, in danger of being hurt? And what if I hurt Bobby's feelings? What if I come across like I don't want to be with him? Of course I do, but I also have another responsibility, and… Oh, Lincoln, is there any naughty naughty happening?', Lori asked, swivelling her head from side to side to make sure.
'No, Lori, for the thirty-seventh time.', Lincoln responded, almost amused as he listened into the police scanner. 'In fact, it's been really quiet today. Like, nothing is happening. At all.'
'Not even a cat up a tree?', Lori asked, flying up to the tree next to her. Nope, it was adorable-free. 'No offence, tree.', Lori said, patting it. 'You're adorable too.'
Lori then face palmed. 'Wow, I am really stressed out, even for me.'
'Just calm down, relax, and have some fun, Lori! It's your anniversary, you and Bobby should have a good time!', Lincoln reassured her, leaning back with his arms behind his head, slurping from a big slurpy drink.
'Still not sure if I deserve any fun after all I've done.', Lori thought to herself, as she slowly floated down and straightened her hair. Weird, it felt like something was on it. 'But even then, I want my boo boo bear to be happy, he deserves the best anniversary ever! So, I'm going to make this a wonderful, quiet, and loving little afternoon!', Lori told herself, prepared to do the best job possible.
'So, how do I look?', she asked, hoping for some positive feedback, as she quickly texted a pic to Lincoln. 'Do my eyes look puffy, from, you know, the 'sleep' I've had until recently? How about my nails, I painted them green because it's his favourite colour! And my shoes…', Lori stopped and admired her shoes. 'Actually, I like them, I look pretty good with them!', she smiled in satisfaction. 'But, like, besides that, any notes?'
'Well, 1. I don't know about any of this stuff, and you should probably have asked one of your friends. 2. I'm happy you didn't ask them, though.', Lincoln texted back.
'Oh, how come?', Lori asked, curious.
'BECAUSE YOU'RE WEARING YOUR COSTUME', Lincoln shouted into the radio.
Lori nearly jumped right out of her costume, and flew off to a lake to find her reflection. There it was, she had actually worn her costume by mistake.
'OMG, how could I have done this?!', Lori asked through the two-way radio.
'Well, you put one hand through one sleeve…', Lincoln started, and Lori interrupted. 'LINCOLN! LITERALLY NOT THE TIME!'
'Hey, babe, who are you talking to?'
Lori screamed as she turned around, Bobby staring right at her, in her costume, in public! 'Oh, this can't get worse!', Lori bemoaned.
Suddenly, an ice cream truck drove by, playing 'Can't Stop This Feeling' by Justin Timberlake.
'IT GOT WORSE!', Lori screamed again, and she picked Bobby up by his shirt (which was easy for once). 'BOO BOO BEAR, I CAN EXPLAIN!'
'Oh, wow, are you that Superhero I keep hearing about? What's the name, The Guardian?', Bobby asked, excited to meet a celebrity. He shook Lori's hand. 'Someone said you weren't real, so I'm a little confused, but it's an honour to meet you! You look a lot like my girlfriend, not gonna lie!'
Lori stood there, dumbfounded. 'I guess my disguise does work.', Lori thought, as Bobby kept shaking her hand.
'Oh, oh, I'm shaking too long, I'm sorry! It's just, my cousin Carl loves superheroes, I even dressed up like his favourite… Wait, I'm rambling, sorry, but, um, would it be okay if we recorded a video of you saying 'Eres super genial, Amigo'? That's 'You're super cool, friend', btw, if you didn't know!', Bobby asked, as he whipped out his phone.
Lori was about to interject, but then decided to film the video first. Carl WOULD like it. She would know, since she was Bobby's girlfriend.
'Why am I telling myself that?', she thought, shrugged, and went on. 'Sure thing, random citizen I've never met in my life, who's totally not distractingly hot, like, seriously, though, could you smile at someone else for a second, this costume is hot as it is.', The Guardian spoke, trying to disguise her voice.
'Okay, okay, I'm recording… Now!', Bobby directed, and The Guardian tried to do a super cool pose, almost falling on her face, but just about keeping her balance.
'Eres super genial, Amigo!', she announced, flashing a thumbs up.
'Excellent! Thank you so much!', Bobby said, shaking her hand again.
The Guardian smiled softly. 'My pleasure, really!'. And it was, truthfully. It was nice to do something small like that, it would probably make Carl's day.
Bobby then looked concerned, and he facepalmed. 'Oh, no, I got so caught up doing this, I forgot I was meeting Lori here, for our anniversary date! We don't have that much time!'
'Oh, um, I have no idea who that is.', The Guardian lied, making a shocked face. Deep down, Lori wished she could just reassure Bobby, but she knew she couldn't tell him.
Well, for now. Surely she could one day, right?
Right?
'Oh, I am all over the place, huh?', Bobby apologised, and showed The Guardian his lock screen, an image of Lori smiling. Lori felt a small flutter, not her usual large flutter, but eh, she knew the picture was his lockscreen anyway.
'This is Lori Loud, she's my girlfriend! Oh, she's wonderful, the best girl in the whole world! Smart, kind, beautiful, the whole package, Ms. Guardian ma'am. It's Ms., right? I wouldn't want to assume!', Bobby stated, and The Guardian, chuckling, nodded.
'I'm not married, boo boo bear.', The Guardian replied. 'Not yet.', she thought with a romantic smile. Just for a moment, she felt like she deserved to be loved.
'Heh, heh, that's cool.', Bobby said, before squinting. 'Wait, you said that before as well, right? How'd you know that's her pet name for me?'
The Guardian began entering pure panic mode, and she shook in fear, like a big bowl of jello named Lori who fucked up by wearing her costume next to her soon to be husband in the park on the 12th of March. 'Um, well… I know everything, about everyone, In Royal Woods, and Great Lakes City!', she tried, hoping that lame sounding excuse would work.
'Like Flying Rodent Man! Okay, that makes sense, sorry for doubting you there for a second, ma'am!', Bobby apologised, and Lori sighed in relief.
'Say, you're a superhero!', Bobby snapped his fingers. Somewhere out there, Thanos was filing a lawsuit.
'Glad you noticed.', The Guardian bantered, and Lincoln (who was listening on the radio, tense, laughed.'
'No, I mean, you track down lost beautiful girls all the time to save them, right? You know where mine is? I haven't seen her here yet.', Bobby asked, looking around, and shouting into a bush. 'Lori, are you there? Blink twice for yes, and once for no!'
Bobby removed his head from the bush. 'Wait, she can't blink if I can't see her! Babe, just tell me how much you blinked then!'
Lori tried not to laugh, and shook her head lovingly at him. She had to change clothes, and fast. 'Hey, um, Bobby?'
'Yes?', he replied, somehow popping out of a water fountain, looking for Lori.
'I think I saw her over there!', The Guardian pointed, and Bobby steadfastly looked over that direction, where there was a single solitary duck.
'A duck! Is that a clue? What rhymes with duck? Buck, Luck, F…ruck, which is a duck with the butt of a frog, little known fact?', he asked himself, as he looked at the duck intently.
After a bit, Lori ran back, finally with no costume, and out of breath.
'Hey, sorry, I… Got lost, and then someone in a costume pointed me here!', Lori said, and Bobby swooped her up in a hug.
'Babe!', he cried out, eyes closed, and enjoyed.
'Bo Bo Bo Bear.', she whispered back, softly smiling, eyes closed too.
Bobby then put her down, wincing. 'Wow, babe, you're never that hard to pick up! In fact, are you getting some biceps there?'
The two stared at Lori's biceps, which looked pretty amazing. Her legs and stomach looked more muscular too.
Bobby let out a whistle of appreciation. 'Lookin' great, babe!'
Lori let out an embarrassed laugh. She had to keep this secret better. 'Oh, you know, golf really gets the muscles brewing, and well, I thought going to the gym could help too.'
It wasn't a lie. She had been attending the gym. But only since yesterday.
'So, what do you wanna do?', he asked, smiling at her that goofy little smile of his. 'We could get some ice cream, feed that fruck I found some bread crumbs!'
Lori nodded enthusiastically. 'I love it, sounds wonderful!'
'Okay, so I'll be back in a jiffy!', Bobby said, and he ran down the hill to the ice cream truck, falling once or twice over there.
Lori sighed affectionately, feeling a little better about today. 'Maybe my worries were for nothing.', she thought, as she allowed herself to sit down on the grass and relax her tense shoulders for once.
'So ARE we gonna run off if things get dangerous?', Leo asked, as he and Lyberti arrived at town square, hidden despite the little hustle and bustle about.
Lyberti blew a raspberry and shook her head, removing her helmet so she could place it away soon. 'Nah, my dad is just being overprotective. Don't you worry, P-I-C, this is gonna be super easy! Get it, super?', she laughed at her own joke.
Leo looked confused and said nothing.
'Oh, P-I-C, partner in crime, thought it would be a nice pet name I MEAN nickname for you!', Lyberti said, hiding the smallest crimson blush from her face as she removed a large suitcase and started fiddling with the lock, sticking her tongue out in concentration and humming to herself.
'Crime? Isn't that a little ironic?', Leo pointed out, as he scurried the area for any sign of The Guardian. All that caught his eye was the local 'Kareoke-Dokie' store.
'Oh, no, this is a cool, good person crime, in which it's not a crime at all, except for how awesome we are! Which isn't a real crime!', Lyberti pointed out, her voice muffled thanks to her head inside the suitcase.
'That is true, according to the legal manuels on the back of my cereal box.', Leo said agreeably.
'Your mom still buys that brand? Lucky, I still get the one that teaches you how to cross the road. Like, I'm 14, Carpaccio the Contortionist Chicken, I know how to cross the road, the question is why are you still preaching to me?' Lyberti ranted as she kept searching for whatever she was looking for.
'Are you sure though? About attracting The Guardian's attention, that is. I mean, she seems like the sort of person who's busy all the time. How would we even get her attention? And even if we could, should we really take the chance? We get into a lot of weird trouble when we go out on these escapades.', Leo worriedly blurted this out, as he tapped his foot next to the park bench they were situated at. He saw an old man give him a weird look, as if he didn't belong there, and he shuddered.
'What do you mean by weird trouble?', Lyberti asked, raising an eyebrow, though only she could see it, thanks to her head still being buried inside the suitcase.
A flash, and a montage of previous escapades played out: Leo and Lyberti getting their prison photos while dressed like hamburgers, Leo and Lyberti running away from rabid kindergarten kids atop an amusement park pirate ship, Lyberti having to win a video game contest with a biker gang to save Leo's plush lion, Leo dragging Lyberti away from a satanic ritual sacrificing her to determine who should get the last pack of m and m'.
'Hey, that last one was under control, I was going to expose the secret cult operating in the candy stores here!', Lyberti defended herself.
'Hey, it's not a criticism! I'm just saying, things could go wrong.', Leo pointed out, nervously looking back and forth and clutching his lion plushie.
'Keep a positive attitude, P-I-C!', Lyberti countered, and she resumed searching.
Leo sighed quietly to himself as he stared at his friend, bouncing her head from side to side to a song only she could hear. She was so full of life and love, that it made up for her slightly less pleasing aspects. Leo knew she could be a real pain, and he hated how tunnel vision she got about her grand destiny, but he let it slide. If he could help her see herself the way he did, it was worth all the scary stuff along the way.
Lyberti caught him staring without him noticing, and looked down, an embarrassed smile on her face. She had been contending with her… growing feelings for him. Feelings she was considerably confused about. Sometimes it felt like it was just her friendship for him growing like fine wine, an appreciation that deepened every day. But sometimes it felt like a little more. He was extremely adorable and funny, not to mention loyal. And she thought his hair was super fancy.
'But what'd he see in me? I'm the side character in every play, the small print in every gymnastics act, and my one scoop's been destroyed by some old fart on TV.', she thought, sorrowfully, hanging her head down. She was so not special.
But then she raised her head in determination. 'That's just another reason why I HAVE to get footage of The Guardian! Once I do, not only will I be a real star, not only will the cash come flowing in, but I'll even win Leo over! If I want that! I'm still not that sure, it's very complicated!'
Back to her usually cheerful self, Lyberti threw something at Leo, the small boy barely able to keep his balance as he caught the select items. 'What's this for?', he asked, along for the ride as usual.
Lyberti put on a fake moustache and pointed dramatically in the air. 'A fool proof Guardian attention getting plan! Just follow my lead!'
'When do I ever not?', Leo thought, hoping Lyberti's plan would work, and trying to quiet the worried voices in his head.
The night before, back with Olivia, she was driven down the street towards her apartment building, still confused as to what the heck was going on. She didn't have any time to voice or consider that confusion, though, because the Tricycle suddenly took a violent left turn and smashed through her window, which was already pretty badly made, to be honest.
Olivia found glass shards on her floor, some nearly touching her, and she took deep breaths as she tried to get up slowly, hurt from the crash she just had to endure.
'HEY, KEEP IT DOWN, PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!', a voice yelled out from one of the walls.
'Sorry, Mr. Shipulski!', Olivia apologised, before turning to the Tricycle, which had now reverted into a glowing blueprint made of steel. Her eyes were buggy, her hair all over the place, and she felt like she could puke. She moved her arms up and down in panic.
'Okay, um, I don't know if this is on automatic, or if it can hear me, but whatever is going on, please stop! Heavens to Murgethroyd, I could have been really badly hurt!
The Blueprint, apparently sorry, grew two tiny lines for eyes, and shed binary tears.
'Oh, hey, hey, I didn't mean to make you cry, I just, well, I like not dying, it's right up there with crime as my favourite hobby!', Olivia explained, softening her voice and kneeling down to pat the blueprint, before realising it had grown eyes.
'Wait, how the FUCK… I mean, fuck, did you do that?', she asked, trying to stay quiet for Mr. Shipulski.
The Blueprint, seemingly excited, bounced and turned into a TV set. On the TV was what looked like Katherine Mulligan, but she was the same blue tint as the blueprint, glowing and all matrixy.
'The Blueprint is a highly advanced transformative weapon, a shapeshifting metallic tablet of sorts that can, either instinctually or by command, turn into whatever it's prime operator needs!'
The Blueprint then shifted into a stone tablet that Olivia could barely hold up, stating the words 'AND THE PRIME OPERATOR IS YOU!'
'What, me? No, I was just stealing you!', Olivia exclaimed, the responsibility worrying her. She backed off to a corner of the wall slowly, staring at the Blueprint with little line eyes, and now, a little computer mouse nose, and line mouth. 'I mean, I didn't even know what you were for, you were just shiny!'
The Blueprint turned into a TV again, and a blonde man in a black shirt did a pose and said 'Oh, why, thank you, thank you very much, mama.'
The TV was then quick to assert (in the guise of a computer on ) 'And by mama, I mean mother, not anything else.'
'Mother? I can NOT take that kind of responsibility, no thank you!', Olivia cried, shaking from the implications.
The Blueprint was back to its usual form, looking sad. It transformed into a trash can.
'Oh, no, wait, I didn't mean that! I just, look, this is all very confusing! Maybe you should just go back to your company truck?', Olivia suggested, trying to reassure the Blueprint, fearing what chaos could come out of using this… Thing.
The Blueprint then transformed into a phone with an E-Mail notification.
'Damn, couldn't it have been a text?', Olivia complained, opening it. She read the message quietly, her voice growing quieter with every word.
'Dear Mr. The Blueprint, we are sorry to inform you that your services are no longer required. Your application is non-marketable, your weapon capabilities are far too dangerous for our stockholders, and your inventor has recommended your termination anyway, because of your growing sentience. We hereby terminate your contract and life immediately, and sentence you to an incinerator.'
Olivia finished reading, and found the little Blueprint again, crying binary tears again.
'Oh, no, no, I can't let that happen! Why, you're clearly alive and stuff!', Olivia said, comfort patting the Blueprint. 'I may be a criminal, but I'm not a monster!'
She then sat down and sighed. 'Or, well, a failed criminal.'
The Blueprint looked confused. 'Local nice lady steals piece of unwanted tech', it said, as a headline on a metallic newspaper.
'Yes, but that's the first time I've ever succeeded, in 3 years! I'm… Kind of the opposite of you, in the skills department, only no one wants me too. I… I wouldn't want anyone to feel like that. But I don't know if I can be good enough to take care of you, little buddy. You should find someone else.', Olivia said, in a heartfelt gesture. She turned around, and sighed. 'The one person who ever seemed to like me, and I can't help.'
The Blueprint, at first depressed, suddenly got an idea, and turned into a plug and play for the show 'Deal or no Deal'. The 8-bit song got Olivia to turn around, and investigate.
'What do you propose?', Olivia asked, curious.
The plug and play turned into an action figure of a bank robber, spouting out 'You gets the crimes partner that can helps youse steal whatever you want, maybe teach you some things!'
Then, he turned into a teddy bear with a pull string. Olivia pulled at it, and the bear said 'I get a home.'
'But how can I take care of you?', Olivia asked, worried. 'I don't even know what you eat! Or if you have to eat!'
The Blueprint let out an electronic laugh, then leapt onto Olivia. Shifting and glowing, he turned into a robot magpie, the blue birb tweeting out happily as it kissed Olivia on the cheek, then transitioned into a gun, a knife, a costume to disguise her, robotic armour, sticks of dynamite, a getaway car, an obtuse boomerang, a plastic goose, a green moose toy, a plastic cup of guava juice, a giant game of snake, a hologram of a birthday cake, large fries oil trap, chocolate shake machine, and finally, the birb again.
Olivia let out a giggle as she pet the birb. 'Okay, little buddy, I get it, you just need me to give you a place to stay. And I can't argue you're not useful!'
Holding the birb, she said 'Armour please!', and the birb turned into a glowing blue robotic armour that also looked like a snazzy tux. She had a blueprint feature on her right gauntlet, and on her left, a mini gun that could shoot knives and bubbles (because why not?). On her right shoulder stood the birb, and she retained her rainbow skirt over the armour. She looked pretty cool, to be honest.
'From now on, I'm going to call you… Bluey!'
Okay, but her creativity coulda used some work.
'Now let's go and…', Olivia started, before she was forced to walk backwards to bed. Out of her chest came out a clock that said '2:37'.
'Oh, yeah, tomorrow then!', Olivia sheepishly agreed.
A video game tutorial flashed on the blueprint screen.
'Oh, we'll be fine! I go into places without a plan all the time and…', Olivia started, then trailed off as she said '...And I fail every time. Hmm. I might take you up on that.'
'LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, AND THOSE IN BETWEEN WHO ARE PEACHY KEEN, I HAVE AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!'
A few eyes turned towards the sentence, mostly bored, unfazed eyes, waiting for a bus or taking a break from shopping, not hearing the urgency, the need, or the passion in the voice that had uttered it.
They did notice the gigantic fake moustache and old dusty tux that had been used in a play a few years back, but that didn't really do much either. She wasn't that attention grabbing, and neither was her friend on the stilts wearing the monopoly man cosplay.
Lyberti, however, was counting on some sort of attention. She needed it if her scheme was to succeed.
Clearing her throat, she flapped her arms like a birb and shouted out 'EVERYONE PLEASE LISTEN, I HAVE EARTH SHATTERING NEWS! SO WILD AND SHOCKING AND SURPRISING, THAT… THAT IT WILL MAKE YOU ALL REALLY SURPRISED!'
Leo, still hanging on the stilts for dear life, somehow balanced a thesaurus on his nose and squinted. 'You want a synonym?'
'Later.', she admitted, a little embarrassed at how she couldn't come up with a word.
But even that gaffe hadn't acquired enough interest.
'We need to change tactics.', Lyberti thought, and then snapped her fingers as she came up with the perfect idea. 'It requires sacrificing my ideals as a journalist, but I must!', she cried, dramatically, as she shook her fist in a very over the top fashion.
Leo failed to hide a snicker. He knew what she was doing. 'Lyberti, no, don't! You have so much to live for!'
'Oh, my dear Leopold, forgive me, and remember me in another life as a better woman!', Lyberti cried back, the two locked for a moment in a little game all of their own. Leo loved those moments most. Not because Lyberti was only focused on him. Because Lyberti would let loose and do something else for once, instead of constantly aiming for a moon she never seemed to reach. Personally, he thought she was already the brightest star. Ofc, he still supported her.
But sometimes he wished she'd stop aiming. It would make the both of them happier, and less likely to land in shenanigans.
Turning to the people in front of her, as if on a stage, Lyberti belted out her 'ideal sacrifice':
'YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT MY HUSBAND HAS BEHIND HIS BACK RIGHT NOW, ITEM NUMBER 3 IN IT WILL SURPRISE YOU!'
The masses swivelled their heads like owls in a forest full of little restaurants serving mice in bagels and hot dog buns and shit, which, as all owls would tell you, is the second best way to eat mice, right behind finely steaming one, coating it with olive oil, and serving it on a bed of lettuce with a pinch of paprika.
Lyberti, now smiling, sent the signal to Leo (a dog bark, three foot taps, and one nose wrinkle), and Leo, sending the signal back, lifted the thing in question: A giant bag with a large cartoonish dollar sign on it.
The audience oooh'd, still awaiting to find out what item 3 was.
'Yes, yes, I recognize your curiosity, but FIRST, I beseech, that no one in this audience dares steal the bag to find out what is in it!', Lyberti ordered, before smiling smugly at Leo. 'Reverse psychology. Learned it from a highly reliable educational source.'
A sudden flashback shows Lyberti writing down notes at super speed as a TV shows Bugs Bunny tricking an umpire to give him a safe call.
'Of course! It's so obvious!', she cried, as she wrote down 'Be a chad' next to 'Never endanger people for a story' and 'Gummy bears should have Gummy singing contents where everyone sings that one gummy bear song, but in different genres, write to the president'.
Back in the present, Lyberti was still bragging. 'He was so crafty, they gave him an oscar, when they're supposed to give a Pulitzer for journalism!'
The audience, however, hadn't budged.
'...Did you guys not hear me? I said, 'I DON'T want you to steal the bag!', Lyberti shouted, and Leo urged on with his line. 'Yeah, don't… Um… Line?'
'Don't.'
'Right! Stage fright. Ahem. Don't! Please.'
'No, it's just don't!'
'Polite language is a gift of its own, Lyberti, and it supersedes the text.'
'Nothing supersedes the text! It's the text!'
'What of subtext?'
'That's just text, but sneaky!'
The two suddenly stopped their little debate as they realised everyone was still watching in curiosity rather than, well, stealing.
'HEY, YOU ANIMALS, I ASKED SOMETHING!'
'Yeah, you told us not to steal the bag!', a little boy with gigantic eyes said.
'She did, that's what she said, she said don't, I repeat, don't dare steal the bag, and we didn't, none of us did!', an old man called.
'No, see, I was using reverse psychology…', Lyberti started, and a muscular gym maniac cried 'LIKE BUGS BUNNY?!'
'YES, EXACTLY! He gets it.', Lyberti pointed out with praise.
'Or maybe that's what she WANTS us to think! Maybe someone ALREADY stole it!', a grocer realised, and he started beating the crap out of a butcher next to him. 'I didn'ts dos nothing!'
Lyberti and Leo looked concerned. That wasn't supposed to happen. 'Wait, wait! Let's not fight…'
'Oh, that's our cue, she wants us to fight!', The crowd shouted, and began to fight.
Lyberti and Leo quickly cried out for the crowd to continue, thus stopping them.
'Look, it's very simple. I want you to not steal this bag, and once you don't, The Guardian won't show up, and then I won't get to experience eternal happiness. Got it?', Lyberti slowly explained, as if to a bunch of idiots.
'I have it drawn on my shirt, if you require a visual aid.', Leo proposed, showcasing on his t-shirt a drawing of people stealing a bag, getting a lecture from The Guardian, and Lyberti getting her face in a paper, with a big smile.
'...How much for the art?', one guy asked.
'Depends.', Lyberti narrowed her eyes and her fingers twiddled. 'How much do you have?'
'Go away!', Leo cried, and the guy left, sad.
The crowd, now understanding, nodded. 'But what is IN the bag that is so interesting?'
Lyberti grinned as she jumped up a shockingly high amount in the air to grab the bag, landed, and opened it, happy that her plan was finally working. 'Why, it's a model colosseum made of popsicle sticks Leo and I made for over 8 years! It took a lot of hard work, and juice boxes, and mutual slapping to stay awake, but it was worth it to nail the aesthetic WHERE IS EVERYONE GOING?'
The deprecating crowd was suddenly met by a startled Lyberti, and a stilt walking Leo, who tried not to fall. 'Didn't you want something interesting?'
'It was interesting!', The crowd cried.
'So… Why in all that is puppies are you going?', Lyberti asked, scratching her moustache.
'We wanted to be clickbaited, and you clickbaited us by not giving us clickbait.'
Lyberti and Leo stared at each other and shrugged like they do in cartoons. 'I… Guess?'
The crowd left, and Lyberti, frustrated, sighed and sat down, as Leo got off the stilts and massaged her shoulders.
'Dang it! I was sure that would work!', she protested, pouting.
'They can't appreciate fine art. It is a trait few possess.', Leo mused, sounding very deep.
'...Can we get more popsicle sticks and make those little spinner hats?', Leo asked excitedly.
'Not now, Leo! I need to get The Guardian's attention! We'll just have to use Plan B!', Lyberti shouted out with determination, and she schlepped out a giant piece of paper that had only a few words on it.
'Presentation.', she smugly smiled as she went off to execute the plan. Leo gulped. 'Oh, boy, it's gonna be one of THOSE days.', he sighed, shaking his head in worry and leaving off right after her, barely keeping up.
'Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo! Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo!'
Bluey raised a digital eyebrow as he perched on Olivia's shoulders, the now snazzy looking thief sneaking past trash cans riddled with oily muck and grease, the stench not distracting her from her humming. Turning to the birb, Olivia explained simply. 'Oh, it's my self appointed theme song! 'You Should See Me In a Crown'! Billie Eilish is a queen!'
Bluey shifted into a book called 'Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence'.
'Yeah, yeah, I know.', Olivia rolled her eyes affectionately, and bowed. 'Oh, wise and noble sensei, how do I yoink the cash from under Flip's nose?'
Bluey, letting out a little throat-clearing tweet, hovered up and pointed at Flip, who was shaking his hips (unfortunately to us all) while raising prices on the expired food items in his store. He then pointed at the radio that was gearing up to introduce the lottery numbers.
'Uh huh, uh huh… I'm lost.', Olivia said, and Bluey, being understanding, shifted into a small drive in movie theatre with little cars, showcasing a scene with a Paul Rudd looking individual saying 'Misdirection!'
'Oh, oh, OH! I have an idea!', Olivia said excitedly, bouncing from foot to foot, as Bluey shifted back, excited to see what the plan was. He didn't want to tell Olivia how to do it, he wanted her to learn.
Olivia, looking back at Flip, pointed at the lottery numbers on his desk, dangerously close to the jelly donuts and smudgy coffee he had ordered. 'You fly over there, but be discreet, turn into something that could be on his desk, maybe a calculator, and see the numbers, then come back discreetly, and turn into a microphone, and I'll announce the numbers myself! He'll run off to cash in his winnings, and while he's being a dumb dumb mcstupidpants, we'll run away with the cash!'
Her stomach then grumbled. 'And maybe also the donuts.'
Bluey was less sure about that. Flip was a con man, but taking his food seemed a bit unnecessary.
'Oh, don't worry, look at how chunky he is, he can handle it.', Olivia brushed it off, and Bluey guessed she was right. Olivia then scratched underneath his chin, making him floof a bit in happiness. 'Thanks, little buddy, I already feel like I'm doing better!'
But first, she had to actually do better. Looking up with shifty eyes, she directed Bluey to fly. Bluey saluted with his wing, and set off, turning into a current of energy first to evade Flip's gaze, then into a mini calculator, with HELLO written on it. Looking at the numbers, he quickly changed the HELLO to those, then shifted into a roller skate and skated back to Olivia, who was eagerly waiting while hiding behind a cardboard cutout of a model for some sort of perfume.
'Great work!', she said, and they wing fived. Bluey then turned into a microphone, and Olivia cleared her throat. 'Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, Betty Botter bought some butter…'
Olivia then started mom dancing as she rapped the tongue twister, making record scratch noises, Bluey shifting back to fly around and tweet along. 'But she said the butter's bitter (tweet tweet), If I put it in my batter, it will make my batter bitter (tweet tweet tweet), but a bit of better butter will make my batter better (tweet tweet), So 'twas better Betty Botter bought a bit of better butter! (tweet tweet tweet!)'.
The two finished, laughing a bit, then resumed focusing. Oliva grabbed the microphone and put on a fake deep voice. 'Ahem, attention, dude, I mean, listeners, the lottery numbers are, um, here, so here, please listen!'
Flip, overhearing, grabbed his tickets and nervously awaited the results, biting his nails.
Olivia, enjoying it, deepened her voice further, sounding almost devilish by mistake. 'And the lucky numbers are… '11'.
'Yes!'
'1'.
'All right, baby!'
'13.'
'I knew I'd get it right!'
'16.'
'...Holy moly I'm actually gonna win.'
'19.'
'COME ON ONE MORE!', Flip, on his knees, pleaded and begged, holding onto the final number.
'And… 2.'
Flip, shocked, falls down, crying, and possibly having a heart attack.
'WHAT?!', Olivia cried out in her normal voice, panicking. Bluey, shifting back, also panicked.
Running over to the suffering man, they could see that it was 22, not 2, that was the right number.
'Oh, no!', Olivia looked worried for the failure and for the writhing Flip. 'Bluey, we gotta do something!'
Bluey looked apologetic. He hung his head in shame.
'Hey, hey, it's okay, everyone makes mistakes, I mean, I should know! Let's just focus on helping this guy, then we'll rob him of his livelihood!', Olivia said, helping Flip up to his feet.
'Oh, I'm okay, I wasn't dying or anything, just sad. Wait, did you say rob?', Flip asked, confused.
Olivia, wide eyed and hysterical, needing to improvise, screamed out 'BLUEYTURNINTOAMONEYSTATUE!'.
Bluey did so, turning into a money statue of Flip.
'Oh, I could stare at this for hours and be completely distracted! Smart thinkin', kid!', Flip acknowledged, impressed. 'Of course, I'm no idiot. So I'm just going to admire this for a minute, then turn around and she's gone. And so is the statue. And my donuts.'
Flip then remembered he'd gotten into so much trouble with the police, that calling them would mean more jail time.
Grabbing an old piece of gum, he sighed. 'A fine kettle of fish, eh? Look at me. I'm talking to gum.'
…
'So, like, you free Friday night?'
Olivia, holding Bluey in her arms, a little tired from all the transforming, woop wooped as she hid the cash in her pockets and bounced off towards an alleyway. 'That was incredible! To think I just needed a new perspective, and I've already actually stolen some money!'
She looked proud at herself, and caught her reflection in a little puddle. It didn't seem so bad. 'I could have totally failed back there, but I used my brain, it's not small and stinky, it's a big, good smelling brain, it smells like… I don't know, um… Popcorn? Whatever, you know what I mean!'
She smiled at Bluey, who smiled back. 'Little buddy, I think this is the start of a beautiful partnership!'
(A montage begins, with 'Heist' by Ben Folds playing).
'Plan B!', Lyberti announced, pointing at a dollar store flashlight with a cut out paper G glued onto the glass.
Leo looked at the flashlight, then at her. '...I don't get it.'
'Flying Rodent Man'! He has that gigantic signal light on top of the police station, and they light it up, and it's in the sky, and he comes! So I figured, if we put the G for Guardian on a light in the sky, she'll at least come and investigate!', Lyberti explained, waving the flashlight, and nearly dropping it, just about catching it, Leo catching her.
'Okay, but DID WE HAVE TO DO IT ON TOP OF AN ACTUAL BUILDING?', Leo shouted, shivering, as the drop became increasingly clear.
'Leo, when she lands on this rooftop and gives us the scoop of the century, you won't complain!', Lyberti smirked, turning on the flashlight.
'And if I'm a pancake on the floor, will I be able to?', Leo asked, hands on his hips.
'Oh pshew, you love pancakes!', Lyberti retorted, waving the flashlight to make the tiny signal move around a bit.
'I love being alive more! Also, um… Isn't that a little small?', Leo asked, pointing at the tiny light.
'Oh, I wouldn't say so…', Lyberti denied, hoping against hope it wasn't.
Down on the ground, Officer Griffin squinted at the clouds. 'Whatever it is up there, it's too small for me to see.'
Lyberti gritted her teeth. Then the Flashlight battery died.
'...Plan C?'
'Plan C.'
At the jewellry store, Olivia and Bluey were having a bit more luck.
Olivia, now dressed in her sharp suit, walked up to the snooty man behind the desk and asked in a faux fancy voice 'Do you like knives, my good fellow?'
'Not really, no.'
'Can you pretend for a second?', Olivia frowned, impatient.
'Sure, I guess. I like knives.'
'Wonderful, have some!', Oliva cried out far too bombastically, and she stuck blue knife after blue knife in the glass, creating perfect little holes to ice fish through.
'What the…', The snooty man started, but before he could even finish his sentence, Olivia took out a blue fishing hook and lined in necklaces, rings, and even a gemstone.
'I am calling the police!', The snooty man cried out in outrage, harrumphing as he pressed the red button under his desk. But nothing happened.
Then, with a blue shuriken, she cut the wires for the red button. 'Oh dear, such faulty wiring, whatever will you do?'
'I'll… I'll call the police with my phone!', he shouted, taking out his shiny blue phone.
Olivia simply stood back and hummed to herself as he called 9-1-1.
'Hello, 9-1-1, I am being robbed!', he bellowed.
'No, you've BEEN robbed. There's a difference.', the phone replied, and the snooty man dropped it in shock, as it transformed back into Bluey. Olivia then took out a rope she packed and tired the man to a chair.
'Sacre bleu, seniorita!', she blew a kiss and ran off, Bluey in tow.
'...None of that was even grammatically right.', he complained to no one.
'Okay, so Plan E is a surefire success. I can't believe I didn't think of it up until now, to be honest!', Lyberti explained, as she and Leo moved around the dark school hallway.
'Yeah, breaking into a place is usually higher in your plan options.', Leo answered casually, too used to this. 'I'm gonna use Lefty the loft pick this time. He hasn't been used in ages.'
'Go ahead.', Lyberti moved out of the way, as Leo picked the lock to the School security tape holding room (is that a thing? Idk). The shadowy office with an air conditioning smell had one shitty PC, and the two looked up the folder with security footage for March 8th.
'Huh, that's strange. The video is smaller than the others.', Leo commented.
Lyberti wasn't listening, however. 'Great! I'll send the footage! Would rather I recorded it, but hey, it's evidence regardless! I could share the credit!'
'Lyberti, wait, shouldn't we…', Leo started, but Lyberti was too fast. 'Boop!'
The file was sent, and Leo face palmed.
'Oh, come on, little L, celebrate! We won! Really… Easily, but we did!', Lyberti smiled widely, practising her victory dance.
Leo, sighing, turned on the news app and averted his eyes. 'You might wanna see this, Big L.'
Lyberti stared at the app, and her eyes sunk.
'WHO THE (BLEEP) IS RICKROLLING THE NEWS STATION?'
Lyberti shut the app off and took a deep breath.
'...Plan F?'
'Yeah, F for FUC…'
At the Good vibes store, Olivia and Bluey kept their heist binge going. Using Bluey as a radio playing MCR songs, Olivia had the people at the store running away in fear.
'All the mood rings and scented candles I could want! And look at that money! Come to Mama!', Olivia crowed, stuffing it all into a backpack.
Olivia then spotted the terrified store people coming back in hesitation, and she smiled cruelly. 'Bluey, make them scream again!'
Bluey seemed a little uncertain about that. They already had what they wanted. He tilted his head in confusion.
'Bluey, it'll be funny, do it!', Oliva egged him on. Bluey shrugged. He wasn't sure about it, but his mother was probably right. Turning into a sign that said 'Live, Laugh, Love… Not!', he made them all scream again and cower on the floor.
Olivia laughed, but Bluey didn't think it was that funny.
'Plan I!'
Lyberti put up a cardboard cutout of a criminal saying 'I'm a criminal', and waited behind it.
'I don't think it's gonna be very convincing…', Leo started, when suddenly he heard a scream.
'Oh no, I should call the police!', a wild hairy guy said, dialling the numbers.
'Wait, it's not… Actually, we might not wanna stick around for that.', Lyberti said, and the two dashed off.
Officer Griffin put her head out of the car window and sighed. 'I knew I should have stayed in Monroe, La.'
'Plan K!'
Lyberti put some weights on the ground, with a rope attached to them. She then went to hide behind Leo, which didn't work, as she was too tall.
'Weights?', Leo asked, even more confused than usual with Lyberti's schemes. She was getting a bit desperate.
'Everyone knows Superheroes love keeping in shape! Once she sees these, she won't be able to control herself! And then, I'll pull the rope, trip her up, and distract her long enough to get her on the news!', Lyberti explained, constantly moving up and down in impatient excitement.
'...Can you pull the weights though?'
'Duh, I'm a gymnast, Leo.', she rolled her eyes, and pulled them to prove it. They didn't budge. She pulled again. Nothing. She pulled as hard as she could, and…
BAM!
She flew back from the effort and hit Officer Griffin in the stomach.
'What the… What are you two doing?', she asked, annoyed.
'God's work!', Lyberti blurted out.
'A new trend! You jump at people and then you wait to see if they liked it, we see you didn't, fascinating, LET'S BOUNCE!', Leo suddenly shouted, jumping onto Lyberti, who carried him and ran off.
'...Kids and their dumb trends.', Officer Griffin frowned, before tripping on the weights.
'Plan… What is it, M?'
'O. It's O.', Leo, sleeping in the corner like a dog, muttered out.
'Okay, okay, so… I'm just going to turn around, and say something like, 'She's right behind me, right?', Lyberti explained, a mad gleam in her eyes, as she talked to Leo outside the good vibes store that was being robbed, not that she or Leo noticed.
'Lyberti, listen, maybe you need to take 5 and…', Leo started, but Lyberti ignored, and enacted her plan.
'She's right behind me, right?', she asked, then jumped backwards.
There was no one there.
'...Wow, great, that was embarrassing.', Lyberti thought, turning back around.
'Yeah, it was.'
Lyberti and Leo jumped as Officer Griffin struggled to lift the weights. 'Oh, hey, would you look at that, you left something behind. Thankfully, I was just walking by to see if anyone was screaming over here.'
Lyberti, panicking, ran off, dragging Leo with her.
'...I just wanted to give it back.', Officer Griffin commented, scratching her head.
'My wallet!', one guy commented, his ragged clothes looking more ragged as he desperately searched for it.
'My rent check!', a woman with doe eyes looked terrified, knowing how her landlord would react as she searched the floor in haste.
The homeless man didn't even say a thing. He just closed his eyes and tried to forget.
Bluey looked back at the subway sadly, as Oliva ran off to Kareoke Dokey. 'Come on, Bluey! I wanna party a little!'
Bluey tweeted in concern, looking back at the subway.
'Bluey, we're criminals, it's what we do! Now, I need my mic!', she said sweetly, and Bluey relented, but he didn't like what was going on, as Olivia sang 'You Should See Me With a Crown' out loud in a screechy, ear grating voice, while everyone at the place looked terrified from the crazy looking woman.
'Okay, this is it, this is the plan that will work! Plan whatever the hell!', Lyberti announced, as she and Leo waited in an alley.
'Okay, but… Why?', Leo asked, nervously looking around.
'It's simple, see, this is where we first saw The Guardian fight that strong guy! Criminals ALWAYS come back to the scene of the crime! And, once he does, so would The Guardian!', Lyberti lectured, pushing her glasses up and pretending she was a scientist Lyberti.
'That… Does make sense, ngl.', Leo admitted, nodding agreeably.
'So, all we have to do is stand here, and wait! Shouldn't take long!', Lyberti stated, and the two stood.
And stood.
And played go fish more times than anyone sane should.
And did that lip burbling thing.
And reenacted the entire first Toy Story movie script by heart to each other.
'...WHAT IS TAKING HER SO LONG?!', Lyberti suddenly screamed, punching a wall and blowing on her hurting hand.
'Maybe he already came back another day, and she stopped him.', Leo said, barely staying awake.
'I DON'T CARE! I WANT THAT GALAVANTING GUARDIAN TO BE HERE RIGHT NOW! I WANT TO SEE THAT CLOUD CRAWLING CRUSADER LAND HERE AND GIVE ME SOME PICTURES! PICTURES OF THE GUARDIAN!', Lyberti screamed to the heavens.
'Gee, kid, you okay?', asked a guy in a hat.
'I will be, if you do me a favour!', Lyberti asked sweetly.
'Sure, what is it?', he asked in a friendly fashion.
Lyberti took some coins and threw them on the floor. 'Rob me.'
'What?'
Lyberti took her wallet out and waved it in his face. 'Look at my money, take it, is it not good enough for you?!'
'Ma'am, I'm a reforming criminal.', The man turned around, eyes sparkling, as he delivered a speech to the heavens. 'I have dedicated my life to turn around, to leave my wrong ways, and become a better man. I will not, nay, I'll never steal from you, for as god is my witness, I shall never steal again!'
Lyberti stared at him for a minute.
'...Fuck your character development, rob me!'
'NO!', he yelled, and Lyberti jumped on him and shook his head. 'WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!'
'Hey, it's you again! What is wrong with you?', Officer Griffin asked as she approached Lyberti, Leo worridly looking at all this from the alley.
'This man refuses to steal from me!', Lyberti complained.
'...I don't have the energy for this. Go, or I'll contact your legal guardian/s.'
Lyberti mumbled as she stormed off, Leo trying to keep up. 'All I want is one frikin Guardian.'
'Wow. It's so… Quiet today.', Lori mused, as she and Bobby cuddled on the grass, watching the clouds.
'Yeah. Is that… Bad, babe?', Bobby asked, concerned. He tried to see if he could make her feel cozier.
'No, no, just… I forgot.', Lori replied, lost in her own world, it seemed.
'College, huh? Yeah, it's got me worried too.', Bobby admitted, but she sounded a lot calmer than Lori.
'...Wish I was worried in that way.', she thought, and she turned her face around to him, staring into his eyes. She was usually the one comforting him, so she felt a little odd. 'I guess, I don't know, just… It's been a while since I just sat back and did nothing with someone.'
'Well, you're doing it now. How's it feel?', he asked.
'...I don't know quite yet.', she whispered, closing her eyes. The grass was a little bit wet, and the smell reminded her of being a little kid.
But that felt so strange now. It all did.
She could fly, and she could lift heavy things, and she could take a bullet to the chest. She was a crime fighter, but she was also 17. She could be kind and mean and selfish and selfless.
It was all so confusing, but far worse, was the lingering guilt in her heart.
Did she really deserve to sit back and relax, even for a little? Did she really deserve to rest for rest's sake, and not for the next mission? Did she still deserve love? When her irresponsibility could have cost Lincoln's life?
Sure, she was trying to be better.
But was that really enough? Was she unforgivable? And while she wasn't planning to just stop doing good, it made her wonder, if she could make amends with the world when she couldn't make amends with herself?
She didn't know what to think.
Except that she wished the grass felt the same, and that Bobby's hands felt the same like they once did.
That the sky and sun reminded her of how beautiful life could be, instead of how ugly she could be.
That she could leave a true impact on others, and that maybe, just maybe, she could leave one on herself too.
That it was okay for her to live with others, to feel their love too.
As much as that all hurt her, though, she still willed herself to hug Bobby and feel him calm his breathing too.
Maybe she couldn't quite feel happy herself, but…
She felt happy for Bobby. She could see what it did for him.
So she continued to love him.
'Another. And don't scrimp on the cherry.'
Lyberti slurped another milkshake, if one could slurp a milkshake angrily.
The ice cream place was usually quite cheary, but today it looked pretty glum. Barely anyone was there, save for Lyberti, Leo, the waiter, and a jukebox playing some Disney Junior mix because no one bothered to ever change it. It was still playing this one song. For the 17th time. Lyberti tried to stop her eye from twitching.
'Just one of those days, huh?', Leo tried to talk, having kept quiet for a while to let Lyberti cool off a bit. He whistled to set the mood. 'Just can't win sometimes.'
'Ain't that the truth.', Lyberti grumbled, her face now on the serving table, her glasses steaming up.
'...You know, it's okay that… That we didn't find her, right?', Leo tried to reassure, keeping his voice quiet and soft. He put his hand on her shoulder. 'I mean, no shame in failure. As the puppet show we once watched in second grade said, 'It's okay to fail, just don't fraud any mail'! And we didn't, so… Yeah!'
Lyberti sighed and turned her head to Leo, still lying it on the table. 'Sorry to bust your bubble, buddy, but there is shame. A lot of it! I am a laughing stock!'
'Only on the news, and who cares? The people that matter…', Leo started, but Lyberti lifted her head and her arms into the air, complaining. 'The people that matter think I'm a joke! They think I'm a liar! I'm not a liar! I found the world's first superhero, I found the truth, and they want to pretend I'm just some… Some nobody!
'...You're not a nobody to me.', Leo said quietly, trying to hide his face. 'You're… You're the most somebody I've ever known, Lyberti.', his heart hammered in his chest, was that too much?
'And what's worse…', Lyberti started, seemingly ignoring him.
Leo looked a little hurt. 'You know, you could listen to me for a change. Maybe then you wouldn't feel like you need to be noticed.'
Lyberti looked a little upset for a moment, she didn't mean to not listen, but her frustration bubbled up again. 'I don't need to be noticed, I…'
'Oh, yes you do!', Leo cried out, surprisingly loud for a moment. He massaged his temples in pain. 'You spend so many days in so many weeks in so many years begging to be noticed! To have your article be accepted, your video seen, your gymnastics routine win awards, your roles to be meatier! You DESPERATELY want to be someone special! But you already are, if you'd channel it right!'
'What do you mean channel it?', Lyberti asked, a little red in the face. She stood up and pointed angrily. 'I wanna be a journalist more than anything else, and it's because of…'
'I know why, and I don't want to raise her up, I don't want to… Look, Lyberti, I know why. Why at first you did. But you also want to be seen and to be noticed and to be special because… Well, we both know why. And that's okay! But you're already loved!', Leo said, trying to appeal to her heart, and he held her hand.
Lyberti removed it. 'No, I'm not! Not until I succeed!'
'And what if you don't?', Leo asked, the question freezing Lyberti. Failure was one thing. But always failing…
'Not an option. I'll just keep going at it. No matter what.'
'But Lyberti, you can't just make me go on that journey too! I wanna help, but you spent hours today almost getting into danger, getting me into danger, just so you could get something you already have!', Leo shot back, things were heating up.
'I… I didn't do that! We weren't in any danger!', Lyberti retorted, but she seemed just a little less sure.
'Yes. Yes we were. And I know you didn't mean it. But… But I can't just follow you blindly when you aren't seeing things straight too.', Leo said, and he turned away from her.
She turned away from him.
'...I just wanna be like her, Leo. I just wanna do something good.', she whispered, a small tear hanging onto her glasses.
'...Then do something good instead of trying to look good.'
And with that, Leo left to cool his head, and Lyberti remained at the bar, wishing for love and recognition she already had.
The patrons at the criminal bar were kind of bored.
The dart board was overused.
The TV was talking some boring crap about some rickroll.
Worst of all, nothing interesting had happened since the humiliation of Olivia.
The uneasy stench of alcohol didn't mask the sweat on a slightly hot day too, or the mumbles of nothingness that permeated the scene.
'God what a nothing day.', the weapons expert said, brandishing a handkerchief to wipe the perspiration from his egg-like forehead.
Rocky the bartender yawned. 'Yeah well whatcha gonna do?'
'Nothin', that's exactly the problem!', the safecracker complained, bouncing a ball on a wall. 'Can't something… I don't know, unexpected, happen?'
SMASH!
Suddenly, the doors blew wide open, and standing in the doorway, with an air of superiority and unnerving calmness, though still holding onto a little unhinged offness, was…
'Olivia?!', some patrons cried, shocked to see the banal thief look very different. Like… She had changed enormously.
Olivia walked in, but with her head held up high. Bluey, still worried, and now a little shy, hid behind her ear.
'Woah, um… New look?', the sticklike con man remarked.
'Something like that.', she replied, with a smug smirk. She whispered, and suddenly in her hand was a glass of the finest champagne, and around her neck were all the jewels she had stolen. She slapped a lot of cash down on the bar table and asked 'How about a round for the house, on me?'
'How…', Sonia stuttered in shock, standing up from her stool, Dolly right next to her with the exact same expression.
Olivia let out a little laugh as she licked her lips sensually. 'You should know, no? After all, I'm the world's WORST criminal, right?'
Dolly shook her head, realising the power shift, but Sonia didn't. She marched up to her and prodded her.
'What is going on? You were clueless yesterday! You were a lost cause! Now suddenly you're in the big leagues?'
Olivia didn't flinch, impressing the other patrons who oooh'd. Finally, something interesting, heck, bizarre!
Staring back, with cool composure, Olivia whispered again, and suddenly, Sonia was drenched with a drink, and tipped over the bar table.
Everyone stared transfixed as Olivia stood up on the table, with Bluey constantly transforming and shifting and transitioning around her, like some sort of blue wave of energy, her tux standing in contrast to her gauntlets and goggles.
'Oh, I guess I… Levelled up.'
'Olivia, that's…', Rocky started, but was cut off by Olivia, now lecturing the assembled criminals.
'For you see, I have finally realised my errors. My flaws. I was weak, pathetic, and a flop. Yes, I concede, you were all right about me.'
She smirked. 'At first.'
Brandishing Bluey now on her shoulder, she graciously stepped down and grabbed her drink again, sipping it calmly as everyone, now aware of what could happen, stepped back cautiously. 'Yes, see, I stole a piece of tech. A good one. Too good. I can rob any place I want with a mere order, a command. This little tool of mine can turn into whatever I want.'
Bluey transformed. 'A rope.'
He did again. 'A safecracker.'
Once more. 'A getaway car.'
'Or…', Olivia started, smirking.
Then, suddenly, Bluey turned into 10 guns, all of which were pointed at the other patrons. Olivia enjoyed the fear in their eyes.
'...Revenge.'
Everyone in the bar, lacking their weapons, scurried for a hiding place, thanks to Bluey now turning into steel doors.
'Olivia, what are you…', Rocky tried, but Olivia shushed him, and calmed the patrons down.
'Now, now, don't fret. I don't want to kill you!', she boasted, laughing a little scarily.
The patrons calmed down a bit, and tried to not shake too much as she talked.
'No, no, see, I want to prove that I am officially the world's greatest and most famous criminal!'
'Oh, so you have some super advanced weapon? How does that prove it?', Sonia blurted out, before getting tipped again. Bluey cringed at having to do it.
Olivia, however, grinned and raised her arms aloft. 'You are right, my little pain in the ass. It's not enough for me to commit a few okay-ish crimes, and out muscle you all by just pointing myself at you! I need to do something REALLY big!'
Bluey transformed back to his birb self and gave her a concerned look. What did she mean?
'Oh, don't worry, you'll like it!', she reassured, but Bluey wasn't so sure anymore.
Turning back to the patrons, Olivia took Bluey the microphone, and announced her intentions. 'I plan on committing an act so great, so bold, so epic, that you will all have to bow down and admit that I am the greatest who ever lived, me, Olivia freakin Smith!'
'Um, ms. Freakin, no offence, really, I mean it, I have so many years to waste left, but um… You might wanna change the name. You know, it's not that scary I'M SORRY PLEASE DON'T KILL ME.', the barrel chested mobster offered, before hiding behind hat.
Olivia considered it. 'You know, that's the first smart thing anyone here has ever said. I shall have a new name, and it shall be…'
'Mockingbird? Because, like, they steal, and that tech looks like one sometimes, and…', Dolly attempted to offer helpfully, but was silenced by Olivia.
'I was going to say it! Goddamn it! You don't interrupt a master criminal midspeech!'
'She's got a point.', the conman said.
'Yeah you never watch a movie, Dolly?', the mobster complained, still hiding.
'Anyway, I shall have a new name… Heist!', Olivia declared, getting Bluey to add an H to her now blue jumpsuit, and goggles to her non helmeted look. They shined dark blue.
Everyone elected not to say that the name was kinda basic. Because, well, dying was not on their schedules and stuff, it was hard to fit it in with the dentist appointment and stuff.
Heist turned around, scratching her chin. 'Now, I just need to commit my great act. But what? What could it be?!'
What no one had noticed, thanks to the steel doors disappearing, was Lyberti, skulking by, wearing a depressed expression on her face. When she overheard the name, her ears perked up, and she walked in, too inquisitive to think.
'Wait, what are you supposed to be?', she asked, and the entire bar ran between her and Heist.
'Hey, kid, scram, she's ix-nay on the alking-tay, she's razy-cay!', one large thug tried, but it was too late. Heist pushed them all aside , then pointed at Lyberti.
'And… Who might you be, girl?', she raised an eyebrow from her goggles. 'Little kids don't just go strolling into this place.'
Lyberti ignored the patronizing, and pushed her finger aside, making everyone gasp. She had already sized up a little of what was going on, the look, the tech, the name. She had a hunch, and she was gonna act on it.
If only her head and heart realised the big mistake she was about to make.
'I'm Lyberti Evans. I'm going to be a somebody. But I need to get the world to see The Guardian.'
'And do I look like I care?', Olivia yawned, pretending to fall asleep. 'Go bother someone else. I have no time for losers.'
Lyberti took a deep breath, ignoring her angry red cheeks, and jumped to the point. 'You're a supervillain, right? I mean, with the name, the getup, the attitude. I'm just asking.'
The room froze, and Olivia slowly turned, considering what she had said. '...Yes. Yes I am, I guess. I have a name, a getup, a power. Yes, you're right! I AM a supervillain! The world's first supervillain!'
'Yeah, that's what I said.', Lyberti replied, raising an eyebrow.
'Technically wasn't there that wolf guy from the school?', Sonia asked, and she got drenched and tipped one last time.
'Yes, I am! I think I see where you're going with this, kid.', Olivia smirked, eyes eagerly anticipating the next few words.
Lyberti didn't notice anything sus however. She was distracted by the chance to do something special, and didn't see the woman as anything that amazing. She was just some glorified thief, what mattered was the name, and that she was a criminal. And thanks to that, she rushed in. 'So, say you were to go out there and challenge the Guardian for a friendly little scrap, just a little duel, one that maybe perhaps kind of would be seen on the news and like, justify my existence and stuff, would that… Interest you?'.
Heist's eyes sparkled and she nodded.
'Yes! YES!', Lyberti cheered, struggling to believe it. She called the news station, phone gripped by a shaking hand, her heart hammering in her chest from the excitement that yes, she, Lyberti Evans, was about to do something that MATTERED. 'News 3, hey, I'm the one who sent the rickroll, I'll be at Sullivan Boulevard, near the bank, come and scold me or whatnot, and maybe maybe there's also a big SCOOP for ya! Boom!', she hung the phone up and grinned, performing a little victory dance. 'Yes! I did it! I actually did it! I did something, Mom!'
But Lyberti's happiness, and relief, they were short lived.
As suddenly, Heist began to react too. With a maniacal laugh.
'...Oh, um, that's an… Interesting reaction.', Lyberti chuckled nervously. She felt a little sweat run down her forehead, and her glasses slip down her nose. 'I was gonna try and convince you you had a chance, but I mean, now it seems like you are a little TOO confident.'
Heist stopped laughing, and used Bluey to pick every criminal up with gigantic robot arms. Lyberti's eyes widened as she saw that the woman had some serious firepower.
'Oh, I LIKE this! Yes! The first ever battle of the titans! Even if I lose, my name will go down in infamy! And with these powers, I'll just escape the moment the heat comes on! Now everyone will know the name of Heist, the world's first supervillain!', she cackled, and dashed out, using Bluey as a lasso to steal a bank vault, then as a magnet to steal some gold chains from another store.
Lyberti, meanwhile, stared at all this, realising she had her chance to become famous, to prove The Guardian is real…
And she had unleashed a supervillain to do so.
'...What have I done?', she asked herself aloud, her heart realising the huge mistake she had just made.
Leo was having a nice time hearing nothing and fearing nothing.
He was surrounded by the pleasant whoosh of the wind and the soothing sight of a picturesque afternoon sky, so orange and yellow and bright, as if the sky was dressing up like the sun, bleaching the exterior with its impactful appearance.
Leo thought of it, the sun, the sky, and the space that separated the two. How amazing it would be to float out there and behold the wonders he could not see, to experience what no one was meant to experience. He reflected on how incredible it would be to be more than he was.
But he felt content.
Contention is underrated, he thought, as he took a deep breath and sucked it all into his soul. One can always improve the foundations inside, but he didn't need those foundations to be covered up in some paint or some mask, he didn't need those foundations to be pure, but also recognized, or adored, or swimming in any richness that wasn't his own.
Leo thought little of such empty trinkets, when his treasures were already around him.
All of them but Lyberti.
He sighed, wistfully, wondering if perhaps he had been a bit too harsh, or a little too revealing. Maybe he should have laid it easier on her… But then again, he should have said it a long time ago. Lyberti needed to hear more than one measly complaint, she had to understand that every friendship is like a delicate cell. If it is infected with some sort of parasite, or disease, or infallibility, it needs to be treated so it can continue working.
'I guess what I said must have worked, though. I haven't heard of anything crazy happening so…', Leo thought to himself, eyes closed, until he was suddenly interrupted by the ever familiar loud panicked shouting of his best friend.
'LEO LEO LEO I ACCIDENTALLY UNLEASHED A SUPER VILLAIN AND SHE'S GONNA HURT PEOPLE IF WE DON'T GET THE GUARDIAN RIGHT NOW!'
Leo felt a migraine coming on. 'Lyberti, no, please tell me I heard that in my head, please tell me I'm being judgemental.', he said, already getting off the chair, just in case he had to go into full alert mode. He could be afraid later.
Lyberti shuffled her feet and hung her head in shame, like a little kid being scolded for stealing a cookie from the cookie jar. Only now, the mistake was so much more than a little greed. 'No, Leo. You're not judgemental. You never were.'
Leo softened a bit, and took her hand in his, ignoring how absolutely magical it felt. 'Hey, hey, listen. I know you'd never do such a thing on purpose. Tell me everything. But quickly, because, like, we're on a tight schedule.'
Lyberti blurted it out as fast as she could, waving her arms around in worry. 'Okay so like I overhead some weirdo criminal lady talking about how she was basically a supervillain, but she looked kinda pathetic, right, like, she had some silly jumpsuit and nothing else, I thought she was just too big for her britches, talking out of her ass, a bit… Like me, to be honest. So I proposed she'd fight The Guardian, and I'd call the news, which I already did! I thought she was just some weirdo and she'd go down in 5 seconds! I had no idea…'
She stopped herself, and closed her eyes, realizing an important truth. '...But that doesn't matter right now. What matters is that directly or indirectly, I've put people in danger, and I need to fix that. So… Can you please help me find The Guardian?'
Leo smiled softly, and he finally got to be the comforter in his relationship with the only girl who ever saw him as anything more than just a nobody. Propping her chin up with his finger, he looked into her sparkling eyes full of kindness and remembered why he fell in love with her.
'...Always.'
The two then relaized how 'close' they were, and choked on blushes, turning away. 'Let's… Let's just go, right?'
'Yeah, totally.', Lyberti agreed, and she scanned the area. They could hear that maniacal laughter now, increasing their urgency. 'What can we use to reach The Guardian, though? The news still isn't here, so I don't know if we can send her a message that way, or if she'd even know!'
'Yeah, I mean, how does she even know about the crimes that happen around the city? She doesn't seem to just fly around…', Leo started, as he and Lyberti both began to reach a conclusion.
'A POLICE SCANNER!', they cried out.
'And to contact her, we'd need to find one! But when we're in such a hurry, where would we find one?', Lyberti wondered, scratching her head.
Leo suddenly got an idea as he spotted the item in need parked a next to the cafe he was sitting at. He looked back at Lyberti and smirked. 'In that car.'
Lyberti's eyes widened. Even she thought this was crazy. 'LEO, WE CAN'T (oh, that is, I should whisper), we can't carnap!'
But then, she realized she was doing it again. Something she did a lot with him. She wasn't listening.
'...But it's what needs to be done. And, I trust your judgement.', she smiled gratefully, placing a hand on his shoulder. 'Because you're not just my partner. You're my friend.'
The two nodded at each other, a mending of a scar with a stare, and together they ran towards the car, Leo's lock pick opening the door, causing a car alarm to go off.
'HEY, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING?!', Officer Griffin bellowed from a block away, previously distracted by Heist. Her veins could have popped.
'SORRY, WE CAN'T HEAR YOU, WE'RE BORROWING YOUR CAR!', Lyberti shouted back, as she got into the driver's seat and Leo took the shotgun seat.
'Wait, we can't drive!', Leo said, suddenly, realizing how dangerous this was.
'Yeah, but don't worry.'
'Why?'
'...Okay yeah worry, but like, we don't have any other option.', Lyberti admitted, and she flung the car forwards, sirens and car alarm blaring horribly loudly across the street, wheels skidding on the road.
'God damn it.', Griffin muttered, shaking her head, as she turned her attentions back to Heist, who was continuing to spread chaos.
In the car, Lyberti and Leo tried to organize things. 'Okay, so what's the plan?', Lyberti asked, trying to remain calm as she desperately tried to steer properly without, you know, dying.
'Okay, okay, um, we should figure out how to use the scanner! I'll read it up on my phone, and tell you, and you shout it into this, I believe.', Leo handed her the scanner mic, and Lyberti tried to swallow her fear and steady her voice, as they drove around and around, hoping to catch The Guardian wherever she was.
Leo scanned the google search on his phone and shouted 'Okay, so 132 is armed robbery, 129 is requesting backup, go!'
Lyberti screamed as she nearly failed to swivel past a truck, her heart leaping to her throat. 'LEO THIS IS A BAD IDEA, I CAN'T DO THIS, I CAN BARELY DRIVE!'
Lyberti had a realization. 'Duh, I can't do this! I need YOUR help!'
'But don't you want to…', Leo started, but Lyberti shook her head. 'That means nothing when people are in danger! I don't even want to consider myself right now, Leo! What matters is what gets us to The Guardian faster, even if it means I need to feel shitty about it!'
Leo watched her now with pride, and he nodded resolutely. 'Understood.'
Putting on an uncanny impersonation of Officer Griffin, he used the mic. '10-18, this is Officer Nikita Griffin with a 10-18, we have a 132 down in Sullivan Boulevard, near the bank, requesting 129 as soon as possible, I repeat, 132 down in Sullivan Boulevard, near the bank, requesting 129 as soon as possible.'
'10-4, Officer Griffin, we're sending backup immediately.', the voice responded, Lyberti staring at Leo with surprise. 'Wow! That was amazing!'
She looked a little sad. 'I can't believe I didn't know that.'
'Well, now you do.', Leo forgave her, and Lyberti breathed a little easier. 'Now, we just need The Guardian to notice.'
She looked up, as if she were praying to the orange yellow sky. '...I hope.'
Lori was still trying to calm down when suddenly her two way radio earring roared into her ear, Lincoln sounding frantic and concerned.
'I TOTALLY DIDN'T FALL ASLEEP CAUSE NOTHING WAS HAPPENING, BUT NOW SOMETHING IS!', Lincoln explained, and Lori rubbed her sore ear, while Bobby was distracted with a butterfly. 'Lincoln, shh!', she calmed him down, then, with a soft whisper, asked 'What happened?'
'Some armed robbery at Sullivan Boulevard, near the bank! I heard another report, and it seems to be like… Some crazy lady in a costume?'
'Organized Chaos?', Lori asked, remembering the cyborg madwoman working for The Raven who fought her two days ago.
'No, seems like a totally new one!', Lincoln explained, sounding at first a little excited. 'More members for your rogues gallery!'
'Lincoln, that's not a good thing.', Lori deadpanned.
'Right, right!', Lincoln corrected himself, before sounding a little apologetic. 'Sorry about your date, though. I was really hoping nothing would happen.'
'It's okay, Lincoln! Really!', Lori said, immediately entering responsibility mode, and standing up. She looked down at Bobby. 'I just need to find an excuse for a little bit.'
Clearing her throat, Lori tried to sell an excuse to Bobby, who looked up at her inquisitively.
'Um, Boo Boo Bear, I need to literally… Um… Cry. About how wonderful this all is. Somewhere private. So I can cry. Like a baby.'
Lori waited full of tension as Bobby considered this, tapping his chin in thought.
'Okay, Babe, sure! But if you need me for emotional support, just ask! I cry all the time, very healing!'
Lori sighed in relief. Thank god Bobby was just the sweetest guy, or her lies would be shown for how god awful they were.
'Okay, promise it won't be long, I know we don't have that much time, bye!', she cried, running off in the direction of the tree where she hid her costume, hoping no evil squirrels got to it.
'Where is she, WHERE IS SHE?!', Lyberti screamed in terror as she once again swerved the car away from a dangerous object. That must have been her thirteenth heart attack, she figured.
'Lyberti, calm down! Panicking won't get her here faster!', Leo tried to reassure her, though he too was a little antsy, slapping his knees in fear.
'GUARDIAN GUARDIAN GUARDIAN!', Lyberti shouted out, her head leaning out the window, before hurriedly flying back in to avoid the stop sign that would have beheaded her.
'And neither will shouting out her name!', Leo cried, looking back at the fire hydrant they nearly collided into before, now exploded thanks to Heist.
THRUNK!
Lyberti and Leo jumped from the police car being forcefully stopped, and looked up in shock and wonder as the caped figure of The Guardian stared back at them from beyond the windshield.
'Omg you DO have mystical powers.', Leo gasped, and Lyberti giggled. 'I guess?'
The Guardian, opening the door, shook her head. 'Nah, I was just about to land at Sullivan Boulevard when I saw a police car spinning like crazy. Please don't do that again, barf clashes with my cape.'
Lyberti and Leo got out of the car, still a little starstruck, even though they had seen her before. There was just something grand about The Guardian, a genuine heroism that was in contrast to her mighty powers.
'Hey, you okay? You gonna barf? I can find you a spot, I do that all the time with my sibs, I mean, with people I meet.', Guardian tried to help, balancing a seemingly dizzy Leo and Lyberti, her voice nurturing, nearly maternal.
Lyberti then remembered what was happening. 'No, we're fine, but listen, you need to stop Heist!'
'Who?', Guardian asked, confused. She then remembered what Lincoln had told her. 'Right! You two, you know how to get home from here?', she asked, pointing the other way, in hope.
'Yeah!', Leo responded, but Lyberti wasn't even thinking about that, as she shook from hearing another explosion, followed by a scream.
'Great! I'd fly you there, but I need to stop her before anyone gets hurt.', The Guardian replied, and her eyes narrowing seriously, she set off to the sky to find Heist.
Leo started jogging off, relieved that his and Lyberti's part was done, but Lyberti stayed in place. 'Lyberti, come on, let's get outta here before we get far worse than dizzy!'
Lyberti, however, could not move. '...I…'
She looked back, at what she had caused.
Then she looked back at the expectant Leo, and sighed.
'...I can't.'
Leo, nodding, drew closer to her. 'Hey, I… I understand. I'll help you, come on.'
'No, I don't want to force you!', Lyberti suddenly said, blocking him. 'I never meant to be that friend, and I will never be that friend again! If you really do want to help, then sure, but I want it to be your decision!'
Leo stopped, and his heart felt warm and full. 'I knew you had it in you. Okay, I'll go back home. But promise me you'll stay careful.'
Lyberti, strapping on her star studded helmet, nodded with a small smile. 'This promise is real, Leo. I swear!'
Leo turned around, but then, turned back, and, taking a deep breath, dashed forward and kissed Lyberti on the cheek.
Blushing furiously, he shouted 'FOR LUCK, THAT'S ALL, I SWEAR!', and ran off like mad.
Lyberti simply put a palm up to her burning cheek, feeling the warmth, and let out a little '...heh.'
Then she ran off towards The Guardian.
'Mark, you better have the camera ready, I wanna capture the little shit who rickrolled me!', Katherine Mulligan ranted to Mark, the cameraman, as the two parked at Sullivan Boulevard in the News 3 truck, a bunch of other technical helps piling out of the back seats.
'Will do, ma'am.', he said monotonously.
Katherine, sweating in the afternoon sun, took a moment to fix her hair, and look her best for the approximate 11 people who watched her. 'Stay on my good side this time, Mark.'
'Will do, ma'am.' he said monotonously.
Her hair looking as adequate as possible, and her clothes looking as midlife crisis GAP as possible, Katherine surveyed the area to find the girl who had done the dirty deed, but no one was in sight at first.
'Damn it, is this another prank? We went right to where she said she was!', Katherine complained. She could have been at home, reading fake fan mail she had written for herself, but noooo, she had to waste her time here. 'I'm NOT getting any attention! Mark, give me attention.'
'Will do, ma'am.', he said monotonously, bowing at her.
'That's better. God this town, Mark, I'm a small fish in an atomic pond, I need to find someplace where shit actually happens. I was sure that silly superhero story was gonna do it for me, but of course she ends up being as fake as my eyelashes. Don't tell anyone I said that.', she vented, massaging her wrinkly forehead.
'Will do, ma…', Mark started, before gaping, and stopping bowing.
'Mark, I didn't tell you to…', Katherine started, pointing at him angrily, only to hear a noise and turn around, now gaping too.
Some woman in a black jumpsuit, with a blue birb on her shoulder, was smashing a window, enjoying the sound of crunching glass, then turning towards a bystander who was trying to avoid her.
'Maybe a hostage will get her to come already!', Heist cried out, and using a very sad but powerless to say no Bluey, lassoed him towards her.
Or, well, she tried.
The rope, suddenly, got grabbed, and tossed aside like it was weightless. No one noticed how it landed though, because floating above them all, cape flowing majestically in the wind, eyes dark yet also full of light, and a bright blue G that made all the orange and yellow fade away, was none other than…
'The Guardian!', Heist cried out, a gleam in her eyes, madly happy to see the hero.
'...Tell me you're filming this.', Katherine said, still gaping.
'Will DO, Ma'am!', Mark replied, this time full of energy, and he turned the camera on, as the world saw The Guardian, for the first time, front and center, landing softly and slowly onto the ground, shielding the scared man behind her. She looked back at him for a second, and her stare reassured him. 'Don't worry. I won't let her hurt you.', One could tell it was a promise she meant to carry out no matter what. She wouldn't make that mistake again. Ever.
Her boots crunched for a moment as she landed, her cape now still, like the still calm in her voice. 'Whatever it is you are doing, stop. Please.', The Guardian ordered, not angrily, but like a mother trying to reason with an unruly child by talking to their heart and not down to them.
'I am just being a somebody! And that somebody is the world's first supervillain, YOUR first supervillain!', Heist declared, awaiting The Guardian's impressed response.
'Actually, I've already fought a supervillain before.', The Guardian smiled in embarrassment, almost sounding sorry. 'Two, really. But I don't see why we can't just talk this out, maybe try and see what this is all about…'
BANG!
A blue bullet came out of a blue gun, but all it did was bounce off The Guardian's chest (though she did have to catch her breath for a moment).
Katherine, finally able to focus, started yelling into the mic at an energy never seen before from her.
'THIS JUST IN: The Guardian is REAL! Real, and here, at Sullivan Boulevard! She just deflected a bullet, and seems to be in a confrontation with some sort of super villain!'
'Heist! My name is Heist!', Heist roared, baring her teeth. 'And I want the world to see me do what no one else can: Fight The Guardian!'
'Look, we don't need to fight…', The Guardian tried again, but Heist shot again, missing and nearly hitting the scared man behind The Guardian.
But The Guardian was quick, her eyes widening as she leapt to block the bullet with her elbow, it deflecting with no power onto the road.
'If you want a fight, then fight me! Don't involve these innocent people! Whatever I did, I doubt they contributed!', The Guardian declared, in that voice she once used when saving Lincoln. Not scary or Lori, but different, heroic, good.
'Oh, they all did! They've all laughed at me for years! But now, now I'm tougher than them all! So, why don't you step up to the plate?', she laughed out loud, and used Bluey as a bowling ball to know The Guardian to the side of a building, smashing the entrance a bit.
Pieces of rubble trinkled onto her nose. Her hood now drooped a bit, a shadow on her face. 'That's for baseball…', she muttered, a joke only for herself.
Slowly getting up, The Guardian assessed the situation. 'Seems like she's not interested in standing down, Lincoln. Gonna need to punch this one a bit.'
'But can you even get to her? That blue thing she uses, it keeps turning into these random things!', Lincoln exclaimed, worried. He was brainstorming as hard as he could but no idea came to him.
'Don't worry, little bro. I've got this.', she said with a slightly confident smile, she WAS getting the hang of this fighting bad guys thing.
Charging at Heist, The Guardian let out an adrenaline yell, and prepared to super punch her once, it should be enough. But Heist simply yawned and used Bluey first as a steel door to block Guardian, who even with all her strength got stopped by the sudden impact, and then as a super powerful fan to blow her back up to the sky. 'Sky's the limit!', she cackled at her own pun.
'Damn, and I thought mine were bad.', The Guardian muttered as she regained her composure.
'They are, though.', Lincoln retorted.
'Oh, I don't know, I think you both are getting AHEAD of yourselves!', Guardian quipped, as she tried to headbut Heist by zooming down towards her, but a blue butterfly net caught her, and a blue dart gun shot her into the road, creating a few cracks.
'Wow.', Guardian muttered, spitting out a little. 'She's really hard.'
'Continuing to fight her like this won't do you any good, Lori! You need to think of something else!', Lincoln advised, popping in some popcorn.
'But how? Everything I do, she has an answer to! It's that bird thing that's floating around her. I wish I knew how to take it down.', Guardian admitted, scratching her head, as the news cameras began flocking her. 'Any ideas?'
'No, none!', Lincoln admitted.
'Who are you talking to?', Katherine asked, before Guardian flew her out of the way from a blue laser blast.
'Hey! She could have died!', The Guardian cried out, while policemen led by Officer Griffin surrounded the two of them.
'You are BOTH under arrest for armed robbery and vigilantism!', Officer Griffin barked, but Heist simply trapped all of the cops with a large blue robot hand scooping them into a large blue piggy bank.
'I always did love some visual humour.', Heist mocked, leaping at The Guardian and narrowly missing.
The Guardian, on high alert, smashed into the piggy bank with all her strength, saving the policemen inside. She offered Griffin her hand and a smile, but Griffin refused. She searched for her gun, but it was suddenly taken, as were all the other guns, by a fishing net.
'Oh, did I take your toys? How naughty.', Heist giggled, and she began using a blue hammer to smash the road, making one woman fall from a balcony.
The Guardian flew up to save her, and set her down gently on a different street. 'Find a safe place, ma'am! And tell everyone to stay away from Sullivan Boulevard!',
'Y-yes, I w-will!', the woman replied, a little awestruck as the hero flew away, landing on the road with a thud.
The Guardian looked around, at the frightened news crew, and at the hesitant police, and all the people who could be hurt by some criminal who for some reason just wanted chaos.
She hated people like that. Selfish people who did whatever they wanted, not thinking of what could happen.
Like her.
'You don't need to do this. Whatever it is you want, it can be accomplished without hurting others. Heck, if you want a fight so bad, take it somewhere else! But not here!', The Guardian ordered, but Heist didn't care.
'I make the rules, sweetheart! Don't you see my crown?', she pointed at a blue tiara.
The Guardian breathed heavily, sweating, her shoulders shaking a bit from some of the damage she had taken. 'What do I do?', she wondered, searching for an answer, searching for a way to help.
'I don't know! If we could just get that Birb she has to stop!', Lincoln said, scratching his head.
'Yeah, it seems to be talking to her now about that.', Guardian thought, as Bluey tweeted in concern at Heist.
'Stop this! I know what I'm doing! We're not hurting anyone, calm down!', Heist said, sounding sort of deranged, like she just didn't get it…
'GUARDIAN!'
Lyberti's voice rang out, and both The Guardian and Heist swivelled their heads at her. 'Ooh, maybe this will get you to start taking me seriously!', Heist chuckled, and she turned Bluey into an ice gun.
'NO!', The Guardian shouted, and she immediately jumped to deflect the ice with her back, barely managing to deflect it with her super strength. Turns out she was ice resistant. 'Neat.', she thought, with a small 'that's cool' smile.
She then looked at Lyberti with a stern, worried look, like she would if it was Lincoln, or Lucy, or Lana. 'Lyberti! What are you DOING here? I told you to go home!'.
'Wow, you really sound like you do at home.', Lincoln noted.
'Well, if you guys wouldn't always get into situations like this, my stress levels would die down!', Lori half joked half replied.
Lyberti looked at The Guardian, her hero, literally doing all she could to protect her and others, even if it meant risks that could kill her, and she teared up. 'I'm sorry, I know, but… But this is my mess!'
The Guardian tilted her head in confusion.
Lyberti continued, her regret and want to make amends flashing through her glasses, small tears streaking down her cheeks. 'I just wanted to be special. And I got so carried away, trying to find you, prove you're real so everyone knew it was me who did it, it was me who did something good, that I accidentally did something bad. It wasn't my intention… But that doesn't matter. What matters is that people could get hurt because of me.'
She looked her straight in the eyes. 'And… And I want to fix it. I want to make amends. I want to do good.'
The Guardian looked into her eyes, into eyes that seemed so familiar. She… She had done that too. Lincoln had been hurt. A mistake. But one that would haunt her forever. One she'd try, is still trying, to make amends for. To do what is right.
And in front of her was a girl willing to risk her life to make amends, and protect people.
In front of her…
Was someone who needed to know she could still do good.
The Guardian processed all this, and when she looked at Lyberti again, she offered her her most understanding smile.
'Trust me… I know what that's like.'
Lyberti was surprised for a second, but also relieved. She sniffled.
'I know. And… I understand. So if you wanna help, I'll let you, in a way where you won't get hurt.'
Lyberti nodded like a bobblehead.
The Guardian pointed her head at Bluey.
'See that birb? It can turn into anything. We need to stop it from doing that so I have any chance of fighting her. But, I don't have any ideas so far. Sometimes, we need to ask for help. You got any ideas, Lyberti?'
'Hmm, well, It also doesn't want Heist to continue doing this… Oooh, I got it!', she began bouncing excitedly. 'Maybe if you distract her, I can grab the birb and talk to it. Convince it to turn into some sort of, idk, big TV, yeah, a big TV that will show Heist what she's doing, and maybe, just maybe, she'll understand!
'It's a long shot…', The Guardian admitted, a little cautious, but, like Lyberti, ready to hope for the humanity in Heist. 'But it's worth a try!'
'Great! So, how do you distract her?', Lyberti asked, and suddenly, The Guardian turned around and shouted 'Say, you can do anything, right? But can you punch me without your birb?'
'Oh, of course I can! All the things it turns into remain, unless they are destroyed or I will them to disappear!', Heist revealed, and she left Bluey on the road so she could charge The Guardian.
'Go for it, kid.', Guardian whispered as she ran to spar with Heist, winding up her super punch.
'You're, like, only 3 years older than her.', Lincoln reminded.
'Shh.', Guardian shh'd back.
Lyberti, fast and acrobatic, somersaulted into the air and spun like a ball to reach Bluey, though the effort left a tiny bruise on her shin. 'Ow! Yeah, I should have warmed up first.', she thought, but the birb was in her hands.
'AAAA!', Heist screamed like a viking.
'AAAA!', The Guardian screamed, like when her phone was at 1% battery.
The two punches collided, sending a shockwave of wind and dust across the street.
A middle aged man, carrying a large suitcase, nearly got thrown away, but The Guardian caught him.
'Look out!', he shouted, and he smacked Olivia with his suitcase, distracting her for a second.
'Oooh!', the news crew went as they filmed.
'Jesus…', Griffin whispered, amazed by the power at display, sounding almost forlorn.
Lyberti, happy that Heist was distracted, began talking to Bluey, who was afraid and shy from the stranger and from his mother's behaviour.
'Hey, listen, I know we've never met before, but I think we can get your owner to stop being so crazy!', Lyberti blurted out in super speed, her panic clearly showing. She saw that Bluey was still afraid, so she pet his feathers, and took on a calmer voice. 'Hey, hey, it's okay! I love birbs, you know? Very cute, and you're the cutest I've ever seen!'
Bluey chirped a little, happy to receive some affection after the last few hours.
'You want to get her back to being nice, right?'
Bluey nodded, looking desperate.
'Well, if you could please turn into a big TV, and show her what she's been doing, to the innocent people, maybe that can help! Could you do that, please? It's really important!', Lyberti said, and Bluey agreed. He couldn't stand seeing all the bad things that were happening. He hated to turn against his mother, even for a second, but it had to be done.
Nodding enthusiastically, Bluey was then softly placed on top of Lyberti's helmet, Lyberti still comforting the birb with her pets.
'It's okay if it doesn't work, by the way.', Lyberti said, reassuring, thinking of the day she went through. 'You tried your best, and that's what matters.'
It was that extra bit of love that helped Bluey. Feeling strong, he transformed into a large TV, the largest he could be, a massive screen that thankfully didn't feel hard or fall from Lyberti's helmet, because Bluey was able to make it stand still.
Heist, meanwhile, was pounding away at The Guardian, hitting her over and over again. 'Why, won't, you, just, give, up?!', she asked, with every punch punctuating a word.
'Because I have a responsibility.', Guardian breathed out. 'And so do you.'
Heist suddenly heard a voice, her voice. Laughing maniacally.
She turned around, and the TV showed her, her stealing from poor people, her terrorizing people, her hurting the bar patrons, and almost hurting innocent people.
Her previously unfazed eyes began to faze just a little. 'No, I wasn't… No, this is a mistake, I wasn't doing that, I was just… No one was really gonna get hurt, I was just trying to get you to fight me…'
Her voice grew weaker and weaker as the TV showed her rejecting the chance to fight somewhere else. What was she doing?
Then it showed her getting angry at Bluey.
Bluey.
Her first and only friend.
Her birb.
Her… Her son, she supposed.
HE was why she was finally succeeding.
And yet, here she was, hogging all the glory, referring to him as a tool, and shouting at him.
Heist removed her goggles, and Olivia's tears could be seen as she stepped slowly forwards to the TV, that shifted back into a very sad Bluey.
He chirped, seemingly asking if his mother was angry.
'No… No, I'm not… I'm…', Olivia tried to respond, but words failed her. Crime was one thing, one thing she didn't regret. She didn't regret stealing anything.
But she never wanted to hurt anyone, outside of the girls at the bar.
Everyone flinched when she turned around, but The Guardian, now standing tall, reassured everyone with a look, and turned back to Olivia, who was now on her knees, Bluey on her shoulder.
'...What have I done?', Olivia whispered, looking up at The Guardian with alarm.
The Guardian knew what she had done was wrong. But she could see that it was so much more complicated than 'she did a bad thing'.
'...What everyone does at least once in their life. A big mistake.'
The Guardian's soothing smile and soft body language were then added to with an offered hand.
'But if you come quietly, and get some help, you can make amends for that.'
Olivia had no intention to stop stealing.
But she didn't want to hurt anyone.
And at least, she wanted some time to reflect on what she had done, and to apologise to Bluey.
So, she offered her hands.
The Guardian picked her up, and Officer Griffin came in to arrest her.
'And I am arresting you…', she started to say, but The Guardian was already gone, in the blink of an eye.
And so was Lyebrti.
At the dinner table, Lyberti looked over at Leo and her father, as they ate the gas station burgers that were so greasy, badly made, and average.
She looked at the TV, and saw the news broadcast talk about the guy who had defended The Guardian with his suitcase.
She looked down at her reflection on the plate, and thought of what had happened just before she went back home…
'I really messed up. I'm so sorry.', Lyberti apologised to her hero, looking very regretful. Her head hung down in shame.
The Guardian, however, was full of sympathy. 'Hey, as I told you, everyone makes mistakes. I saw you today, risking your life to make amends, and to protect those people.'
She gave her a proud smile, and shook her hand. 'I think if you can channel your energy into what you love, and think a little more before you act, you could be a great journalist!'
'You really think so?', Lyberti asked, eyes shining.
The Guardian chuckled. 'I know so!'
There was something about it, something about the interaction, that meant the world to Lyberti.
She hugged The Guardian, who at first seemed a little awkward about it, but then hugged back gently.
'By the way, I've noticed our paths cross a lot, and I have also noticed it's hard to contact me. I could have totally missed that battle, and well, I don't want to do that. I want to do everything I can to protect the city. So… I might come over to your place soon with something you can use to contact me if you hear of any trouble. Would that be okay, Ace Reporter Evans?', she asked, with a wink.
Lyberti grinned, and clapped her hands in happiness. 'ABSOLUTELY!"
Back at the table, Lyberti smiled as she looked at the picture of her mother's headline from all those years ago.
'Local reporter, Alessia Evans, sacrifices herself to save hundreds from suicide bomber'.
Lyberti didn't want to die, of course. But she wanted to be a hero like her mother.
Maybe she could be now.
But now, she realised, she didn't care about the fame, or the fortune.
As she heard Katherine Mulligan take full credit for the discovery of The Guardian, she didn't care.
She looked at her dad smiling for once, at Leo subtly holding her hand, and at her gross ass burgers.
And she smiled.
It was good enough.
And, maybe one day…
So could she.
Lori, after finishing her date with Bobby, stared out at the moon, as she sat on top of The Loud House, her costume in her hands, the blue G shining like a beacon.
She thought of Bobby's final hug that day, as he told her he loved her.
She thought of the good things she had done that day, of the people she had saved, of all the progress she had felt.
She thought of Lyberti.
Would it ever be enough? Could she ever forgive herself?
She wasn't sure.
But, just for a moment, she allowed herself to feel a little love that day.
Just for a moment, she felt like maybe… Just maybe…
She could be good enough.
And so, she smiled softly as she felt a little bit better.
Post Credits Scene:
'And while my discovery of The Guardian should not be forgotten, we must also talk about the man with me in the studio, who helped stop Heist, and who, as it turns out, was doing another truly heroic thing before that!'
Katherine handed over the mic to the middle aged man in the little suit, who seemed very agreeable and polite, not to mention well spoken.
'Oh, quite the contrary, Ms. Mulligan, only doing what any man in my position would and should do!'
'Well, tell us about it!', Katherine said, happy someone remembered her name.
'Ah, yes, well, I am a bit of an inventor, and I happen to have a small fortune to my name, as you know. My family over the years has been known for its… Indulgence. I, however, felt the need to give something back. Crime rates have risen exponentially, and with all the madness happening recently, well, our police force just can't keep up, can it?'
The man smiled, seemingly softly.
'So, I have upgraded our boys in blue!'
Pictures on the screen showed the new police armour and shields, clearly high tech, and showcasing a resistance to robots that he had also contributed. Even lasers didn't stop them.
'Wow, that is so generous, so heroic! That is the sign of a man who cares for his city! Mr. Tetherby, congratulations!'
Mr. Tetherby laughed, and his eyes betrayed a gleam.
'Oh, Katherine, please…'
'Call me Bertrand.'
And as the camera rolled on, no one noticed the tiniest evil smile on his face.
I have no idea why that took two months, but it is finally out! A filler chapter that is the longest yet XD. It will take time until I make chapter 7, but I'll try to make sure it doesn't take two months!
