'I realize this might be a silly question to ask a flying squirrel robot piloted by a 4 year old child prodigy who's helping me break into this literal villain's lair to save a frikin' Superhero, but, um… Why aren't we entering through the front door? You know, like normal people?'
The question came out of Lyberti's mouth, as she saw the aforementioned robot use its hands (now replaced with welding guns) to open up a sewer grate. The reporter pinched her nose, trying her best not to puke next to a robot, which would definitely rank highly in her top 10 most embarrassing moments, right behind 'Being responsible for the Happy Meal toy drought of 17 when she got an interview with the main smuggler, MaskCot'.
But that was a story for another time. Right now, the robot squirrel was pointing her towards the sewer that potentially housed super villains.
Lisa's voice garbled through the robot again, sounding more and more frustrated by the day's events. 'Because, Ms. Evans…'
'You can call me Lyberti.'
'I'll call you 'Cyril Cannel' if you're not careful!', Lisa barked, but Lyberti blinked, unresponsive.
'...Cyril Cannel? Inventor of the P50? Slowest car of all time?'
Lyberti shrugged with her arms.
The robot audibly sighed, and placed a dunce hat on Lyberti's head. 'You don't have to be Lana to know that.'
Lyberti threw away the dunce hat, accidentally hitting someone. 'MY BACK! IT'S FIXED!'
Crossing her arms, she glared at the robot. 'Hey! I'm not slowing us down! I'm asking basic questions! I feel like if we're gonna risk our lives to save The Guardian and the city, when our failure could doom both, well, I should know why this particular plan is being chosen!'
'Journalists.', Lisa muttered, and she turned towards Lyberti, showing off the tracker with two dots representing The Guardian. 'As you can see, The Guardian and whatever the hell that other dot is are moving TOWARDS this exit right here. Besides the obvious dangers of entering through the entrance of a VILLAIN'S. LAIR.', Lisa emphasized, making Lyberti feel bad, rubbing her arm. 'It would be far more efficient to enter through here, find Guardian, and, knowing what's up ahead, lead her safely out.'
'...I hate how smart you are.', Lyberti huffed, crossing her arms.
'You're welcome.', Lisa smugly thanked her, and with one last burst of flames, melted the sewer grate, revealing the rickety moldy ladder. 'After you.'
'Oh, how kind. I bet you're popular with the other kids.', Lyberti sassed, gingerly taking the ladder and holding back vomit.
'Actually, no.', Lisa replied, missing the sarcasm.
As they descended, entering an eerie shadowy catacomb, where any danger could lay near, Lyberti exhaled a sigh full of guilt. 'You think she's okay?'
'She's not alone anymore.', Lisa replied, referring to themselves, shutting out any doubts with artificial confidence. The mission had to be a success, there was no time for anything else.
Lyberti was less sure of Lisa's assessment, the emotional rollercoaster she was. 'She's probably better on her own.'
Little did they know how literal those sentences were…
(X-Men: First Class - Magneto Theme (slowed and reverberated)
CLOMP.
All across the dirty and clean streets, his tread echoed like an announcement from God themselves.
CLOMP.
Shining black converse all-stars crunched past the leaves and muck spread around the gutter, yet never got dirty.
CLOMP.
With a single motion of his stronger hand, he tipped his hat towards the people, looking them in the eye, level, not above or below. Eruptions of cheers and claps began showering the sky, like the beating of leather wings.
CLOMP.
The cheering even drowned out the faint sound of cameras clicking and journalists talking, though that too grew louder the closer he approached, his silver buttons sparkling and blinding like a camera flash.
CLOMP.
Soon, the voices changed to uttering one thing, his name, and for the first time in years, it felt like a welcome sound. For the first time in years, his heart didn't fill with shame at the mere acknowledgement of his existence.
For the first time in years, he felt happy to not have died.
CLOMP.
Stopping at the sidewalk mouth pointing towards City Hall's steps, the reporters all gathered on the steps, Bertrand Tetherby pulled his collar up and straightened his hat, staring at all of them with such a look that it could part the sea itself. In his hands was a metallic cane that seemed oddly high tech.
The shadow created from his hat and collar seemed to have the appearance of a Raven, descending onto this world, bathed in orange sunset light.
Two security bots suddenly showed up, landing from the sky, a small thud reverberating from their metal boots.
As the dust settled, a flock of Ravens suddenly flew past, blackening the evening sky, darting past the reporters and giving Bertrand a nearly godly appearance.
'Forgive my tardiness. No more waiting. I'm here now.'
The crowd of people forming behind him, of those who already saw him before, of the poor, the homeless, the downtrodden, the criminals, they all gathered on the sidewalk before him and cheered and cried and shouted out his name, a symphony of resistance to Mayor Volte.
He was on the top of the steps, the reporters all leaving him and his assistant Theresa to talk to Bertrand.
'MR. TETHERBY, A WORD ABOUT YOUR CAMPAIGN PROMISES!'
'MR. TETHERBY, THE POLLS HAVE YOU CRUSHING WITH A LANDSLIDE VICTORY, 90% MAJORITY!'
'MR. TETHERBY, ARE THOSE ROBOTS PART OF YOUR JOB GROWTH AGENDA?'
'Answers in due time.', Bertrand waved them off, eyes only for Volte. He wasn't young anymore, and his frailty showed. How could someone so unassuming be responsible for the deaths of countless people, including his own parents?
'If Melanie were here, I know what she'd do.', Bertrand thought, and he wasn't too proud to admit that he had considered it here and there.
'But this is about proving her wrong. I'm killing the fire, not stoking it.'
CLOMP, CLOMP, CLOMP, went the shoes on the marble steps of the City Hall, Bertrand never parting his dead set gaze on Volte, who looked a tad offset. Centimeters off of him now, Bertrand didn't wait.
He offered his hand.
Volte, chuckling at the press, shook back, gripping hard as a threat. Bertrand didn't grip back. He didn't need to.
'I'm sure the votes are being carefully looked at.', Volte whispered, smug, if still a little offset.
'Oh, I made sure of that.', Bertrand whispered back, allowing a small victory smile.
Volte's eyes widened.
If he would look at the cameras, he would see that no one but those who were SUPPOSED to be there were counting the ballots.
Because at the police station, they were all stationed there, commissioner's orders via Bertrand's orders.
'It feels weird not to be there.', one officer said, but Commissioner Jones waved him off. 'It's what he wants.'
He then shivered as he muttered to himself 'Better that than pissing HIM off.'
Bertrand kept on the handshake as camera flashes spread all around them.
'May the best man win.', Volte tried, but Bertrand said nothing. Instead, he waved at the crowd, who cheered heavily. When Volte did, they booed.
Bertrand kept his silence and smiled. With a nod, he walked into City Hall and sat on a bench, calm and confident as can be.
'I don't think there's coming back from this, unless the polls are wrong, sir.', Theresa said, showing him a new report. Volte brushed her off. 'You're fired.'
'F…Fired?', Theresa asked in disbelief. She shook like a leaf, flabbergasted. 'But you just hired me!'
'Well, I wanted to get one last win in before it's all over. You people take everything so personally.', Volte remarked at the African American woman, before taking his leave.
Standing there in total shock, Theresa didn't know what to do. So she just stood there.
Meanwhile, Bertrand closed his eyes, basking in it, taking it all in. 'Just a little more… Just a little more…', he kept whispering to the raging beast inside him that had waited for an eternity and more for a ray of light through the fog.
'Mr. Tetherby?'
Bertrand looked up. It was Captain Griffin, wearing a ceremonial police outfit (that made her feel absolutely ridiculous), armed for security. 'Not sure why I'm the only cop you want on guard duty tonight, especially with what you told me last night. Heck, with all the hellfire raining down, might want a metal umbrella, instead of a paper one, ya know?'. She lit up a cigarette and puffed up, feeling something bad instead of nothing good.
Bertrand offered her a sympathetic glance. 'Feeling chipper today, are we, Nikita?'
Griffin coughed, laughing sarcastically at the suggestion. She looked around with a little relief. 'No sign of his right honorableness.'
'He knows it's over. We shouldn't waste time over trivialities.'
'Like the ballot announcement?', Griffin raised an eyebrow.
'A blind fisherman can still feel the shift in the tides. We have far more pressing matters at hand.'
Griffin bit her lip, suddenly even more conflicted than usual. Her uniform appeared all crumpled and crooked, like she was a mess of drawn lines. 'The taskforce.' She was still quite unsure of it, of the whole principal. It seemed odd after all she had said about the vigilante, and yet, she still felt it boil up around her. A storm inside her hurricane of uncertainties.
'I wish there was another way. Maybe there is. But if The Guardian doesn't come quietly, we'll need to deal with her. With all of them.' Bertrand explained. 'This city has waited long enough. We can do what must be done, and as soon as possible, so why delay?'
Griffin nodded, agreeing, but still slightly hesitant. Looking at her watch, she remarked off handedly '2 hours and 25 minutes.'
Bertrand whistled, hands being his head, allowing himself to finally rest a little. He had waited this long. Yet, somehow, these were the easiest hours yet.
'She'll never make it in time. I've made sure of it. I've made sure of everything. You can give yourself a break.'
Smiling, he added 'Besides…'
'She's got herself to deal with…'
Lori really did have herself to deal with. She still couldn't believe her eyes, and she kept rubbing them to try and shake herself awake. But so far, no dice. In front of her, in the underground lair that had been her prison, standing tall in HER costume, with HER face and HER non rubbed eyes…
…Was The Guardian.
But that was impossible!
Well, SHE was impossible, so maybe that's why this could happen? Were there other impossible things that were now possible for her because it was possible to be impossible? Or was there some impossible she couldn't possibly do? Impossible impossibles?
'Ugh, my head hurts…', Lori muttered, pinching herself to see if that would clear anything up. 'OW!', she kissed the hurt skin, only to gape even more now, eyes as wide as the distance between her and The Guardian, who was investigating the end of the long corridor leading to the rest of the lair.
'I felt pain!', Lori cried out, in a terrified sort of excitement, her blue gray slip on shoes slapping the metal floor and sending echoes.
'...Good to know?', Guardian raised an eyebrow, not seeing the point. Lori, now face to face with, well, herself, grunted. 'Don't be stupid, me! I don't get hurt from little stuff anymore! Not unless I'm REALLY unconfident, and I wouldn't say I'm feeling THAT badly.'
Lori didn't mention how she basically fantasized about dying earlier, but to be fair, her other self would know, no? Since she was her. Maybe. 'OMG, why am I not reacting to this?!', Lori voiced, as The Guardian flew up to check the roof and see if she could break out. 'Reacting to what?', The Guardian asked, hitting the roof, reverberating the place.
'Um, don't do that? We're underground, I believe! There's an exit right here! Everyone who came to see me here exited from there!', Lori cried out, nearly losing her balance from the shaking. As soon as Guardian landed, however, she grabbed her wildly. 'Hey! What are you doing, me?', Guardian asked, annoyed. Her cape got stuck between Lori's arms, who wouldn't let go.
'That's exactly my question! What the hell are you? Are you some sort of trick? An AMOGUS IMPOSTER SUS? HMMMM?'', Lori tried to think if Raven or Mr. E or someone had hinted at that before. Turning her face back to her broken cell, she coughed and pinched her nose. 'Eww, that gas is still there? How much were they hitting me with?'
Lori then came to a realization, squeezing Guardian, who grunted in frustration. 'GASP! ARE YOU A HALLUCINATION?!'
SHOVE!
Guardian pushed Lori out of the way, dropping her onto the floor, making Lori hiss a little with pain. It gave the teen a moment to see her hands: Pale, translucent almost. Her eyes still felt tired despite all the rubbing, and her hair was messy and heavy, like her body.
'I am LITERALLY not a hallucination.', Guardian replied with fierce determination and confidence, practically radiant. Lori covered her eyes, shirking away from the blinding brightness. 'I AM THE GUARDIAN!', she announced with appropriate drama.
Lori stood up, shakily, an impressed whistle coming out of her parched lips. 'Dang, I didn't realize I looked so cool and heroic! It's just like that Red Flashlight comic Lincoln read to me yesterday!' She suddenly began analyzing the costume, making Guardian flush in embarrassment. 'I like how the cape is somehow flowing inside, is that a power I don't know about? And I really pull off the look, though I still think it could use an upgrade, just to look more inspiring, ya know? Maybe a different colored G to be brighter… Maybe a, what's it called, domino mask, like a ton of heroes Lincoln likes have?'
'Is this really necessary now?', Guardian protested, pulling away her cape, dropping Lori to the ground. She grimaced and held her aching arm. 'Again? God, I'm in enough pain here, ya know? And besides, I'm not sure I still buy this 'you're me' crap.', Lori pointed out, prodding Guardian's chest and symbol. The Guardian glared at her in annoyance. 'Seriously? It's so obvious!'
'Okay, prove it!', Lori challenged. 'Full name?'
'Lori Marie Loud.', they said at the same time.
Lori scoffed. 'Well, that's easy.' She scratched her chin and snapped her fingers. 'Lincoln's favorite beach snack?'
'Ketchup sandwiches. Crusts on. Peanut butter as a side dish because 'It works with anything, Lori, stop making that barfing noise.', Guardian replied, smirking. 'Easy as pie.'. The two couldn't help but share a mutual smile at Lincoln's quirks.
'Lisa's favorite rapper?'
'Trick question, ERB are two rappers, the historical accuracy is MOSTLY appreciated. Stephen Hawking's second verse when he fought Einstein is her go to for insults.'. Lori nodded, trying to think of a tougher question. 'She sings it really well.'
'I guess.'
Lori clapped her hands, satisfied. 'Oh, you're not getting this! 'Leni wears a pocket protector only on a very specific occasion. When?'
'At the place where all pockets get lost, of course. The kangaroo sanctuary.'
Lori was about to add when Guardian said 'Luan wears it there too but for the pun.'
Lori tried not to gape. 'Shit, you are GOOD.', Lori admitted. 'Oh, those girls…', she smiled to herself, though Guardian seemed impatient, tapping her foot.
Lori tried to choose the toughest possible question. What was the one thing only SHE knew about herself? What was the one thing you could read if you saw her heart?
Then she knew.
Lori then looked right into Guardian's face and asked the hardest question. 'What do you want to do with your life?'
The Guardian didn't even phase. 'It doesn't matter. Not anymore. Not until I can fix this. If I can. Which I, or, well, you, doubt.'
Lori sighed, disbelief stretching across her face, as she pinched her nose. 'It can't be. It just can't.'
Guardian tutted. 'Sadly, it is.' She then pointed at Lori. 'You, unfortunately, are my other half. The gas caused a split.'
'A split? But they called it a hallucinogen!', Lori pointed out, coughing again, a stitch in her side. She held it, feeling like a limp was coming on. 'Why would it split me? Is that even possible? No, wait, why am I asking. Of course it is.', Lori sighed, unamused.
'Perhaps combined with the temporary cure and the hidden depth of our powers? They work in mysterious ways, Lori.', Guardian remarked, staring off into the distance, determination coloring her dark eyes. 'But enough chit chat. I'm you, you're me, we get it. There's work to be done.'
'Work?', Lori asked, still shaken from all that was going on, before snapping awake with memory. 'Oh crap! Tetherby!'
'The Raven.', Guardian corrected with serious intent. 'The election will be over in a matter of hours. Approaching two, I believe.'
Lori, shaking from fright and stress, shook Guardian, nearly dropping the superhero. 'Well, what are we waiting for?! We have to go!'
'WE don't have to do anything! I do! YOU are the one without any powers!', Guardian pointed out authoritatively, pointing at a corner. 'Why don't you get some rest while I get the job done? You can text your friends, or go on Swiftypic, or video call Bobby.'
'Yeah, no deal. Even putting aside that this place is traumatizing for me, the lighting is horrible, none of those activities fit that!', Lori complained about the probably less important thing, before changing the subject. 'And, uh, excuse me? May I remind you who got these powers in the first place, young lady?', she scolded, wagging her finger as if The Guardian was some naughty puppy that mistook your new stylish 'TO DIE FOR' shoes as a tasty treat. They weren't. Shoes aren't tasty. 4 out of 5 studies confirm. The 5th one got lost at sea.
'I'm literally the same age as you.', Guardian reminded her, raising an eyebrow.
'Oh, no, YOU were born the day I got these powers! Heck, arguably 5 days later! You're barely two months old! I'm nearly 18! So shut up and take the booster seat, kiddo, I'm drivin'!', Lori corrected, shaking her head in disgust. 'Kids, no respect at all these days. Why, when I was your age…'
'You're really enjoying this, aren't you?', Guardian crossed her arms and pouted.
Lori stuck her tongue out. 'I've deserved a talking to for a while. Might as well come from me.'
'You realize there's a reason you got hurt before, right? And why I'm wearing your costume? And why you're all pale?' Guardian impatiently interjected, but Lori lifted a hand. 'Talk to the hand, because my face is going up, up, and…'
Lori geared her arms back, knelt down, and leapt into the sky, closing her eyes in joy as she already felt that wind in her hair and that glorious wonder of flying, perhaps the one thing she truly enjoyed anymore besides saving people.
Only to crash right back down on her face.
'...Away.', she whimpered, holding her nose, shocked to find blood lacing her fingertips.
'Exactly.', Guardian said darkly, lifting her up again, with one hand, up into the sky she no longer took residence in.
'No… No, this can't be! I HAVE to help!', Lori shouted out in panic, but Guardian flew her to the corner and shook her head. 'No. You can't. You never could, anyway.'
'What's that supposed to mean?', Lori asked, not that she totally denied it. 'Geez, what's your problem with me? You've been really rude, tbh. I try not to be rude when I'm in Guardian mode. Or ever anymore, really.'
Guardian laughed then, throwing her head back, a mocking sort of laugh that stabbed Lori in the heart. 'Oh, I'll be rude to the one who let my brother get shot! To the one that keeps holding me back!'
Lori gasped, stepping back a little. Glass crushed below her shoes, startling her, and she could see her face in the shards. She looked awful. She looked…
'Like you? You're NOTHING like me!', Guardian darkly shouted, crushing the glass with no fear, her face heroic yet raging. 'I try to save people; you guilt over whether you DESERVE to! I try to inspire; you wallow in your misery and self-pity! You're so hung up over yourself that instead of trying to get out of this mad science lab, you'd rather stay here and understand what the hell happened to YOU.'
Lori bit her bottom lip, rubbing her right arm. Shame filtered across her face. 'I… I don't disagree with any of that. But I want to help! I do!'
'Yeah, well, you don't! And you know why? Because our split is between the good side of Lori Loud, and the guilty one!', Guardian cried out, holding Lori up by the scruff of the shirt. Lori panicked and closed her eyes in fear, but Guardian put her down, sighing and shaking her head. '...Anger will get us nowhere. Just… Stay safe over here. Once I stop Raven and put his sorry butt in jail, then we can talk.'
Lori hung her head low, thinking of all that Guardian said, and agreeing wholeheartedly, as much as that shattered her. She was such a waste of space. Such a monster. Why couldn't it just end already?
'Gosh, I don't mean to interrupt, but I think we can talk now, honestly! And it can't end already, Lori, it's just started!'
The two girls, startled by the sudden talking, leapt into action, both action posing and readying themselves for a battle. Guardian was floating, fists clenched, while Lori tried a karate pose and slipped, falling onto the ground comedically.
Now, seeing the split version of yourself was truly the strangest thing Lori had seen yet, more than werewolves, floating blue men in tubes and rhyming cyborgs.
But against all odds, that held the record for about 5 minutes or so.
To be fair, if you saw a 6-foot 3 skeleton wearing a red plaid flannel sweater, blue sun stickers on his cheek (bones?), rocking a green afro, with blazing yellow eyes, holding a book called "Therapy for dum dums", you'd probably say put that on the top of your list too.
'...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA', Lori screamed, only to get her mouth clasped by The Guardian. 'Shut it!', she hissed, while Lori kept hyperventilating. 'Anyone of those monsters could hear us and delay us from the mission!'
'Ah, yes, the mission!', the skeleton popped up out of nowhere, startling both girls. He leafed through his book and began reading. 'Now, it says here that sometimes one dedicates themselves to an abstract, nearly impossible goal in order to keep a trauma-stricken mind busy, to find some sort of purpose that would fix your deep-seated issues even though it's practically a lost cause!'. He closed the book with a bang, looking at the girls with a curt nod. 'Seems a little pessimistic, but I can get that! Say, have any of you considered dressing up as a dark creature of the night, imposing and terrible, say, a bat?'
The Guardian let go of Lori, who resumed screaming, and grabbed the skeleton by the 'neck'. 'I don't know what you want, sir, but you're scaring my, um, 'friend' here. Move, or be moved!', she growled, trying to appear intimidating.
This didn't faze the skeleton, however, who kept his cool. 'Now, we both know you're kinder than that. Even if you'd never admit it.'
Grunting, she dropped the skeleton, and despite Lori's abject fear of him, she leaped to catch him, barely able to thanks to her state. 'Ugh… You okay, um, sir?', Lori asked, still very confused by all of this.
The skeleton took a pause, staring at her in surprise, before smiling warmly. 'Why, I am, thank you. Mighty kind of you, Lori.'
'Literally my job, no big.', Lori replied cheerfully, before widening her eyes in surprise and fear. 'Wait, how do you know my name?!'
'Why, of course I do! You see…', the skeleton started, before the lights somehow went off.
'Great, now we can't see how badly we're failing!', Guardian complained, but then the lights turned on, and the skeleton was now holding a microphone, and soft jazz was playing in the background. Lori and The Guardian looked around in confusion, searching for the source of the music.
'Thank you, thank you ladies and ladies, this sweet little number is provided to you by the invisible orchestra that plays the music that gets stuck in your ears. I'd like to play you a little ditty I like to call 'I'm your spiritual therapist', it's an old song, but it's a good one.', The skeleton announced, shaking his hair.
Clearing his throat, he began.
(To the tune of 'I've got you under my skin')
'I reside in the recesses of your soul…
Which is under your skin…
Like a skeleton does but that's just sort of a fitting analogy therein…
And why do you try to resist when girls you know so well…
You are in desperate need, of a therapeutic carousel…
'Which sounds fun but is probably gonna make you ugly cry for weeks on end!', The skeleton interjected himself. Guardian seemed bursting with impatience while Lori bobbed her head along. '...What? He's got a nice voice.'
'You have… PTSD…
And your savior complex is the most well-meaning I ever did see…
I mean, it's not great that you think that you need to protect everyone or else you are responsible for all their pain I mean you're 17 give yourselves a break improvement is nonlinear and also you are literally (see what I did there) doing so well…
But I get it, because I live under your skin cells.'
'You'd sacrifice yourselves come what might
For the sake of saving your peers
Despite that growing voice that keeps you up at night
And repeats, oh repeats in your ear'
'Don't you know, little fool…
You never can win…
Your guilt is a fatality…
Your self hate is reality…
But each time that you do, oh it wouldn't do,
So I took this opportunity of your frazzled mental state and came here
Because I'm your spirit guide… So there's no need to fear.
You're not so bad… So there's no need to fear.
Sure, you fucked up real bad with your brother… But there's no need to…'
But just as he nearly finished, The Guardian stomped her foot, sending a shockwave that dropped the skeleton down to the ground, finishing the song. 'ENOUGH! WHILE YOU'RE WASTING OUR TIME TALKING ABOUT OUR SUPPOSEDLY IMPORTANT 'FEELINGS', PEOPLE'S LIVES ARE IN DANGER! I SAID I WAS DONE BEING SELFISH, REMEMBER?', The Guardian bellowed, forgetting how she was supposed to be quiet. Marching off, she walked towards the door and punched it with an ear-piercing scream, breaking it down completely. Red knuckles turned towards the skeleton and Lori, who was helping him up.
'Clearly, I'm not getting rid of both of you. So if you're gonna blah blah blah about 'poor me, oh, I let my brother get shot, don't cry for me Argentina', then at least do it in the back while I get us out of this hellhole!', The Guardian ordered, then turned around and flew away.
'Wow. Am I always this grumpy when I'm on patrol?', Lori voiced out loud. The skeleton shook his head. 'No. You're actually quite wonderful. That's what I'm trying to tell you.'
'I don't know if I agree.', Lori croaked, feeling it hammer in her heart. 'But I liked the song.', she admitted with her best 'It's gonna be okay' smile, and she offered her hand.
'Thank you.', The skeleton graciously replied.
'You're welcome. Now, come.'
Lori grunted as she lifted the skeleton on her back. 'You twisted your ankle bone back there. You're in no shape to walk.'
Making sure he was comfortable, Lori began walking out the exit, trying to keep up with herself. 'I just hope that it's not too late. I have to protect Royal Woods from The Raven!'. She looked up with worried hesitation. 'You apparently live inside me? You think that I can?'
'I believe that you can, Lori. It's you that needs to believe.', The Skeleton said, and Lori sighed, lost and split between both sides of her soul.
Still, she tried to keep going.
'What if she's hurt?'
'Considering the red dots on my tracker, I am adequately certain she's in sufficient health, Ms. Evans.'
'Okay, but what if she's hurt but able to move? What if she's got a limp, or a missing tooth, or OOH, A BADASS SCAR? MAYBE NEAR HER CHEST? THEY COULD BEAT HER BODY, BUT NOT HER HEART?'
'I am QUITE assured that she'll be fine. Her powers indicate a significant regeneration factor.'
'...You think she's mad at me?'
The robot flying squirrel turned around in a start and rose a few feet into the air, trying to appear as angry as possible, which wasn't easy for a cute flying squirrel such as itself. 'LYBERTI, WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP? I CAN'T CONCENTRATE ON ORCHESTRATING A BREAK OUT OF THIS TURGID CACHE WITH YOU BLABBING IN MY EARS ALL DAY LONG!'
'Meanie', Lyberti coughed subtly.
'EVANS!'
Okay, not that subtly.
'I'm just… Making conversation!', Lyberti lied, freaking out from a squeak she heard and hiding behind the robot. 'This place is mega creepy, I need a distraction!'
'You've fought satanic cults, you think I buy that?', the robot sighed, lifting Lyberti who was rolled into a ball and placing her in front of itself. 'No, YOU are looking for a distraction because you are scared and guilty and concerned!'
'Hey, I am also talkative! It's one of my finest features!', Lyberti pointed out, grunting in frustration and kicking a stray metal pipe away. Somewhere out there, that sound was generating millions in meme value. For some reason.
'What, being odd?', Lisa's voice sarcastically asked, as the robot stopped at a fork in the path and scanned both tunnels. Choosing the right one, it scurried inside, leading them an even darker path.
'Holy ravioli, this place is creepy! How does Mr. Tetherby or The Raven or whoever think he's a good guy when they live in this scary underground cave?', Lyberti commented, grimacing as she felt her shoe step in something wet.
'I actually disagree. The main sections appear to be past the sewers anyway, and a little sprucing up would clean the place nicely.', Lisa retorted, as the robot opened its mouth to reveal a giant searchlight with the G symbol on it. She was already branding properly. 'A molecular destabilizer here, a photon cannon there.' She stared at Lyberti. 'Drapes to cover out the noise.'
'Yeah, that would be… Oh, you're insulting me again!', Lyberti cried out, miffed. 'Gosh, what's your problem with me? You call me odd, you're the one walking into a super villain hideout where someone you supposedly care about is in and you aren't even a TEENY bit worried?'
'Worry doesn't create results. I tried it once and she went off and got kidnapped. "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results." Albert Einstein.', Lisa quoted.
'Yeah, well, "You're being weird and jerky and turning this scary but exciting superhero mission from a solid 7/10 to a -4/10, bitch!". Lyberti Evans!', Lyberti countered, before clasping her mouth and blushing. 'I just cursed in front of a 4-year-old.'
'Fuckity fuck, shit ass crap, bitch tits Jordan Peterson. See, I can curse too. You're not SPECIAL.', Lisa retorted, as they moved out of the tunnel and into…
A large empty courtyard in the middle of the sewers.
'Huh, finally, some space to move!', Lyberti blurted out, and she let her jumpy feet that were itching for some stretching to hop around. 'Now this is more like it!'
'Careful, Evans, my sensors are detecting shifting from the floor, I believe that something might be…', Lisa tried to warn, but Lyberti needed to move, or she'd be stuck with her thoughts. So, she kept on bouncing around, only to land on a rising platform!
Not just any rising platform: A maze! A maze made of circuit boards and spare computer parts, electricity flashing through the twists and turns, wires replacing hedges. It was futuristic and creepy, but also oddly impressive and intriguing.
'EEEE! I mean, this is SUPER AWESOME and all, but also HELP!', Lyberti begged. Clasping her arms together, she began praying. 'I would like to apologize to my mom first, for failing to live up to her legacy and bringing shame to my entire family name, ditto to The Guardian. Then I would like to apologize to Artie Benes, not for punching him, he had it coming, but for thirsting for his mom and not making a single 'your mom' joke. I broke the bro code, and if that doesn't get me into heaven, I understand.'
'Newton preserve me.', Lisa grumbled, using the robot's wings to fly up and pick Lyberti easily.
'Oh. That easy?'
'Yes.'
'Then what's the point of the maze?'
'Wait for it.'
Suddenly, two security bots dropped and aimed their laser cannons at the two. 'Back to the front of the line or we'll have to bring you in for questioning.', they uttered, and the two wisely went back to the start of the maze, Lisa dropping Lyberti off on the ground.
'Okay… So we just gotta pass a maze? How hard can that be?', Lyberti asked, shrugging.
The two walked past the first gate, only to be met with a moving plasma screen that blocked their way with two more robot guards.
'To pass into the labs, you need to prove yourself by answering a series of challenging science trivia questions, while not getting killed by the dangers you should already be aware of since you were handpicked to work here.'
'Effective.', Lisa commented.
'But, like, wouldn't I.D detection be…', Lyberti started, but the screen's automatically generated female voice answered 'I.D detection can be faked by our enemies. And with how things are going, shape shifting and facial masking are growing in power. Imposing a more personal challenge would generate far more successful results. Worst comes to the worst, one of the employees here can ensure you don't go far.'
'Ah, okay! Thank you for telling me?', Lyberti replied uncertainly.
The voice turned cheerful. 'You're welcome. And remember, this is all for the greater good!'
The screen then flashed the first question: "True or False? Lasers work by focusing on sound waves".
'Damn, they really think this isn't batshit crazy, huh?', Lyberti joked, making a cuckoo sign with her finger.
'Everyone has reasons for what they do. I don't find it interesting enough to discuss. We can have a good 4.3 second chuckle about it after we save The Guardian.', Lisa shut her off, cracking her robot fingers and starting to type in the answer.
Lyberti twitched around, nervous and jumpy. 'So you're gonna leave me alone with my thoughts?'
'Precisely.'
'My depressing self-resentful thoughts?'
'Relatable.'
'So you don't care that I feel responsible for what happened?'
Lisa sighed and turned around. 'Ms. Evans, you aren't responsible for anything The Raven did, nor The Guardian. You didn't have time to report what happened. Big deal. Get OVER yourself so we can make sure you're NOT responsible for THIS failure!'
Lyberti pouted, holding her arm, as Lisa resumed working. She still FELT guilty, she still felt THINGS. Lisa didn't seem to.
How she wished she could do that, and finally start improving.
'...What if I sang a song about how adorable your robot is?'
'Then there would be a death and someone responsible for it, but don't worry, it won't be you who's responsible.'
Flying majestically through the open space of the sprawling hallway she was in, the Guardian observed every nook and cranny, eyes like a hawk's, hair like a lion's mane, warning of a strike. 'I haven't located an exit yet. It feels like this nightmare is everlasting, stretching out till eternity. Like the sins of my past.', The Guardian monologued, hanging her head, clenching her fist, cape flowing and flapping in the wind, making her appear large and imposing.
That is, until a burst of laughter from behind her.
Turning around, The Guardian's dismayed expression turned into impatient frustration at Lori, who was still carrying The Skeleton on her shoulders. The pale teen was hacking and wheezing at the same time, but she still let herself guffaw at the words of her split self. 'Do you listen to yourself? OMG, am I really THAT dramatic?
'Frequently, dear Lori.', The Skeleton informed, though he too held back a tiny smile. 'It seems that being a costumed hero unleashes the poet in you.'
'More like drama queen, Mr. Skeleton. I mean, really!', Lori snickered, adopting a super overacting face and throwing one hand out in an exaggerated courtesy. 'The nightmare is everlasting, stretching out like the sins of my past, I clearly read a whole thesaurus once to brag'. How can you take me, or well, you, or well, us, so seriously?', she commented, shaking her head at the silly notion.
'You're LITERALLY my guilt, and you say that?!', The Guardian, outraged, complained about the behavior. She floated and stared down at Lori, judgment seeping from every pore. 'Must I remind you of our mission, or of our failure?'
'Of course not, but it's that self-pity that makes it so hard for us, Guardian!', Lori reminded, grunting as she tried to look up, The Skeleton making it hard. 'I mean, if we could just focus on the job, we'd…'
'Ha! Self-pity? Acknowledging that we have done awful things is just being honest!', Guardian interrupted, jabbing Lori, who nearly fell. 'You're the one who keeps us so conflicted over trying to save people because 'Oh, we're so bad, we're so irredeemable, oh if only we could live!'
The hero scoffed, defensive. 'And you call me a drama queen.'
Lori panicked and shook her head as she fell down onto the ground with a bang, The Skeleton in tow, his skull rolling off. 'Hey, I… It's not like that, I…', she stammered, but The Guardian smirked in response, happy to see herself get taken down a peg. 'You've been floored by my argument, I see.'
Lori frowned. 'Oh, take my new sense of humor too, why don't you?'
Sighing, she hugged herself, feeling a cold shiver all over. Whatever this weird ghostly vibe form she had taken, it was really hurting her health. Sneezing, she mumbled '...Am I really all my bad parts now? Was I always that? Am I the problem?'
'What do you mean? Also, um, little help here, if you don't mind?', The Skeleton's skull asked from far into another corner, one that held a modest table. Lori looked around and realized they were in some sort of mini kitchen. There was a small white mini fridge, a mini sink, and a small picture frame, but the rest of the giant hallway was empty, dark, and frigid.
'Duh!', Lori called out, rushing over to the skull. It (he?) was languishing near a dusty, spider web strewn corner. Lori gently picked it up, closing her eyes and ignoring the ick.
'Ooh, it seems like I picked up some friends from there.', Skeleton commented, his empty yellow eye sockets now covered in webs, with a bug or two crawling around. 'Eww, eww, eww.', Lori yiped in disgust, as she wiped the skull with a wet wipe she thankfully had in her backpack.
'Thank you.', The Skeleton said gratefully, but Lori rolled her eyes. 'Dude, is your hobby thanking me for the frikin' obvious?'
A chuckle, then 'No, Lori. In fact, it's guiding you. You clearly didn't notice in my song, but I am your SPIRIT GUIDE!', The Spirit Guide introduced, suddenly blowing on a party noisemaker. 'Ta da!'
Lori chuckled, while The Guardian flew around, knocking on walls and checking the mini fridge for any signs of escape. 'I don't need a spirit guide, I need to get out of here.', The Guardian remarked from afar. Lori made a face and pointed at The Guardian. 'Geez, she's a handful, huh?'
'You both are, Lori. But it's a pleasure and an honor to help you on your journey.', The Guide professed. Getting up with Lori, the two eyed the room. 'Now, where do you think your body went?', Lori questioned curiously, investigating the area.
Suddenly, Lori's stomach asked its own question. 'I think I know where your body is headed! Better hope Guardian is away from that mini fridge, eh?', The Guide lightly teased. Lori blushed at the Guide, embarrassment creeping into the corners of her eyes. 'Oh, um, excuse me. I guess I didn't eat that much back with Clive.'
'Why?'
'Because I… I…', Lori started, before realizing where this was headed. She turned away, like a stubborn toddler. 'Oh, no, mister! I'm not just gonna start talking about my problems!'
'Who said there was a problem?', The Guide wiggled his eyebrows, as least as much as a skull could. Lori face palmed. 'Oh crap. Say, do I secretly have a bad lying superpower?'
'No, that's all you. It's honestly impressive sometimes.'
Sitting down at a chair, Lori placed the skull on the table and stared close, keeping her voice down. 'Look, I hate to say it, but she's right. We really don't have time for this. Raven could be winning the election at ANY moment. Royal Woods NEEDS The Guardian.'
'Ah, but what does the Guardian need? THAT is the question, is it not?', The Guide countered, smirking. Lori gently let him down with a pat on the afro. 'That is LITERALLY so kind of you, but undeserved. If you really are my spirit guide, surely you know by now that I'm just…'
Her shoulders slumped and she fought tears. '...I'm not much of a hero. At least, Lori isn't.'
'Ah, so THAT'S what that was all about back there! This split thing! You really believe you are nothing but the negative parts of Lori Loud?', The Guide asked, edging closer. Lori shrugged. 'Well, even knowing I have positive parts is weird, but I guess I'm the guilt and she isn't?'
She slumped on the table, staring down at the specks of a leftover meal. She eyed them with a strange sympathy. 'Everyone keeps telling me that my guilt is holding me back. They don't get it. I'm… She's… We're different now. We're something impossible and strong and… Little kids dress like me! Powerful people think I can enact change! Lincoln… Lincoln looks up to me.'
She pointed at the crumbs with her eyes, and the Guide looked too, attentively listening to her. 'The people, the ones who need me, they're like these tiny crumbs. One wrong move, one mistake, one guilt laden hesitation and…'
She blew, and they flew away.
Staring back at the Guide, Lori seemed to be begging for answers with her shining wide eyes. 'Maybe she's right. Maybe I'm holding her back. How can we save the city like this? How can we inspire when I feel so dirty about it?'
The Guide couldn't comfort her right now, but he jumped forwards a little and seemed to nuzzle her. She pet him, smiling gratefully. 'Lori… Your guilt is a double-edged sword.', he said seriously for once. A flash, and Lori could suddenly see a vision of her symbol floating in the sky in front of her. 'On the one hand, it reminds you of what you must do, of what you want to do and be. A better person, a hero.'
The symbol glowed, shining like a lighthouse aiding ships at the dead of night. Lori felt the tiniest smile stretch on her face.
'But, at the same time, it holds you back. It gets you to hesitate, to stay in the past, where the darkness reigns and the maggots eat your faith like it's the finest grass. You are shackling yourself with questions that can't really be answered, because you refuse to give yourself what you give others. A chance.'
Lori grew terrified as The Guide explained, his voice somber and full of warning.
'If this continues…'
The symbol suddenly grew dark and bloody.
Lori gulped. 'I see.'
Then she bit her bottom lip, ashamed to look the Guide in the eyes. 'And… And what if I…'
Suddenly, the two began shaking, being lifted into the air, barely holding onto the table and chairs.
'What are you two talking about?', The Guardian asked, as she lifted the table, searching for clues underneath it. 'I have a guess that it has nothing to do with helping us get out of here. And they say brains aren't one of my superpowers.'
Brought back down, Lori stuck her tongue out. 'FYI, we were talking about how that outfit makes you look fat.'
'No we weren't, I'd never be that mean!', The Spirit Guide denied in worry of being insulting.
The Guardian simply ignored them, scoffing, though she did check her weight for a second. 'Wasting time, that's what you are doing! Lori, you really believe this crap about a spirit guide?'
Lori scrambled for words, trying not to appear foolish. 'I mean, there's a talking skeleton over here! We've already seen robots and that bird tech thing and werewolves! We can fucking fly! How crazy is a walking, talking, spirit guide skeleton with an afro?'
'Still, like, a 9 out of 10.', The Guardian retorted.
'She's right, I'm totally bonkers, even for my standards!', The Guide replied.
'Now, if you're done talking, how about helping me figure a way out of here? We've got a naughty child kidnapping brother shooting 'Join me Luke and we'll rule the galaxy' type fruit loop to catch.', The Guardian requested.
'Birdbrain would have been more topical.', Lori shot back. Guardian flipped her off, and Lori laughed, leaving just a hint of a smile on The Guardian's face.
'Sigh. She's right, Guide. Skeleton. Can I call you Skelly?'
'You can call me anything.'
'Well, Skelly, look, I appreciate your support, really I do. It's WAY more than I deserve. But there's a birdbrain out there we gotta stop from becoming mayor, and on top of that, I have some overdue homework, and my family must be worried SICK, even if Lincoln has some ready-made excuse. My stuff can wait in the corner.', she stated, picking him up in her hands and sticking him to the top of her backpack.
Skelly tutted, upset at his failure to get Lori to open up. 'Can it at least be a nice, clean corner, unlike the one I was under just now?'
Lori offered him her warmest smile as she tightened the backpack straps. 'Just for you, it's got a whole ass Unicorn painted on the wall.'
'I love unicorns!'
'Samesies, their majestic and graceful, but not pushovers! And I bet they stir tea really well with those horns!', Lori squealed, bopping her fists from side to side.
'If you two giggling schoolgirls are finished…', Guardian berated, and Lori quickly trotted towards herself, who was floating at the edge of the hallway. In front of them was an empty wall.
'Real design flaw.', Guardian and Lori both said sarcastically, exchanging small glances.
'Absolutely! How can Bertie's friends come to visit?', Skelly questioned, sounding upset for the man.
'Clearly, there's a secret passage, or some sort of invisible door we're missing.', Guardian remarked.
'Clearly.', Lori repeated, raising an eyebrow.
'Hello, Ms. "Robots, Bird holograms and Werewolves"? I thought you agreed stranger things have happened.', Guardian retorted. Lori nudged her. 'Oh, is that a 'you were right Lori' I'm hearing? Not something I'm used to, I must admit.', The girl smirked, and Guardian rolled her eyes, though she too hid a small smirk. '...We have to get out of here in time.'
Lori placed a hand on The Guardian's shoulders, attempting to be comforting. 'I'm sure we can. We haven't been walking for that long.'
Guardian took the gesture well and breathed with determination. 'All right. I'll start looking for any air currents, or weak spots at the top of the wall. You and… Skelly, can search the kitchen. There's gotta be something there, no?'
Lori saluted, as did Skelly (as best as a skull could), and they ran off to look for clues.
Guardian bit her cheek, fingers twiddling. '...If only we could start again. Trying to be good would be… An awfully grand adventure.'
She then chuckled a little to herself. 'Wow, I really AM dramatic.'
(RAP)
'Lil Robot Flying Squirrel
Flyin' thru the air
Eating nuts and taking names
Like he has no care!
His bushy tail swipes you underneath your feet
Then a judo chop as phat as your mom's teat
He's got the rodent flows
That will get the club jumpin'
And the buck teeth rows
Sharp like Marge Simpson Krumpin'
Your evil ass is barkin up the wrong tree
This squirrel has a condominium that's totally free!
LIL ROBOT FLYING SQUIRRELLLLL!'
Lyberti finished her rap with two v signs into the air. 'Thank you, evil lair! I'm here until I break my superhero best friend out! PEACE!'
While the robot clapped (its first proper showcase of sentience), Lisa's voice grumbled out in frustration. 'Did you have to butcher my favorite expression of vocal performance while you were at it?'
'You call it butcher, I call it ART.', Lyberti smirked smugly, haughtily laughing and high fiving the robot squirrel.
'YOU RHYMED CLUB JUMPIN' WITH MARGE SIMPSON KRUMPIN', YOU PHILISTINE!', Lisa shouted out, before calming down. 'No matter. Far more important issues at hand.'
'Like how the robot is slowly growing more sentient? We need to give you a name, buddy!', Lyberti pointed out, as the Squirrel scurried around, searching for the right door to open. 'At least one better than Prototype, I mean, really?'
'I don't tell you what to name your articles.'
'And good, because Artie and Arlene wouldn't stand for such mid names!'
'Shh!', Lisa's voice suddenly hissed, as the Squirrel saw the automatic door open and peaked in, causing Lyberti to hush up, which was bad, because the thoughts immediately began racing in on how badly she had failed The Guardian and Royal Woods. Oh, she enthused, as she hopped from foot to foot, may this silence end soon, there's enough teen angst going around this place! Is this what The Guardian feels like all the time? No wonder she's got such a great 'Moody profile pic' look! Then again, is she a teen? Lyberti hoped not, it would kinda kill her secret perception of…
'Okay, come in.'
Lyberti let out a big 'PHEW' and tip-toed inside. Now that she looked at the door, it was surprisingly sleek and modern compared to the rest of the lair.
And when she looked inside, she understood why.
Labs, glorious labs, in all kinds of different colors, filled the long and large hallway that they had now entered. Hallway? More like a ballroom almost! 'Who woulda thunk an underground lab would look so… Pretty? And fun?', Lyberti commented, and Lisa had to agree. Miles upon miles of huge tables packed with overflowing liquid beakers, sparkling shiny advanced machinery, computers full of graphs and charts and calculations.
And that wasn't including the massive robot bodies and heads.
Sentinel guards and defense bots stood in rows, being constructed automatically by robot arms and cranes. Sparks flew at the girls, who shielded themselves, but it didn't shield their awe. Over on another corner, medical robots were performing procedures on dummies, and they seemed otherworldly in their efficiency and care.
All they had to do was cross over and they could take a closer look, understand what was going on, marvel at it.
'Leonardo Da Vinci…', Lisa whispered as if that was some normal exclamation. Lyberti cocked an eyebrow. 'Excuse me?'
'Oh, because 'OMG' is better?'
'You built this robot! I've seen you build others!'
Lisa sheepishly chuckled. 'They don't frequently last, and even then they are lab assistants at best. Plus this robot is still a massive work in progress, designed for stealth. This… This is medical and technological advancement far beyond my current reach. This is…'
Lisa bit her lip. 'Sort of what I always wanted to do.'
'Well, what are we waiting for? Might as well take a real quick look before we continue onto The Guardian!', Lyberti proposed, attempting to be nice to the now slightly sad sounding girl. But as she stepped forward, Lisa yelped. 'Evans, look down!'
Look down was right. Lyberti was lucky to hear Lisa and do so. A laser grid had suddenly appeared, zig zagging every which way, to and fro, zip and zap. Red fizzing lines of red hot danger simmered in anticipation of her flesh. Her glasses reflected their deadly intent.
'AH!', Lyberti squealed, and she stepped backwards, nearly falling onto the Squirrel robot. Lifting her up and putting her down onto a chair, Lisa berated the journalist. 'Lyberti! You could have been incinerated into smithereens!'
'Your mom could have been incinerated into smithereens!'
'...'
'Okay sorry.'
Lyberti sighed. 'I was just…'
'I don't CARE what you were just doing! We don't have time! Look at the tracker!', Lisa pointed impatiently at her tracker, showing two dots that were moving around in one room.
'Strange. Why isn't Guardian and what's their name getting out of that room? The door opener is…'
'Exactly! We can't dawdle while she's stuck and perhaps even in impending danger!', Lisa sounded shrill and alarmed, unlike herself. The four year old was sipping on three different juice boxes at once, and hunched over her laptop like a hermit underneath her thick blankets. 'I think there are some upcoming heat signatures that are approaching these areas! We must be quick and smart! We can admire robots another time!'
Lyberti saluted her. 'Right-O!'. Suddenly, she started performing some stretches, cheering 'Go, Lyberti! Go, Lyberti!'
'Evans, with all due respect, which is dwindling to none, what the actual fuck are you doing?', Lisa asked, increasingly frustrated. She bit on a pencil with venom.
Lyberti, who did some sit ups and push ups, the Squirrel robot counting for her, explained. 'I'm… Warming… Up… To… Get… Us… Out!'
'Oh, how droll!', Lisa chuckled pretentiously. 'Now, I'm sure that for a non-genius such as yourself, deducing a probable combination for a password sounds 'circuitous' and 'hard' and 'not on a screen even', such is your generation. But WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!'
Lyberti, evidently, was going for the least circuitous way possible. And by that I mean she had just done a somersault and landed right between the first laser (medium placing, right near her stomach) and the second (staring down her glasses, so close she could feel her forehead cook like a fried egg on a car hood.
'MS. EVANS, I DEMAND THAT YOU CEASE AND DESIST!', Lisa ordered, panicking and biting her fingernails. The Squirrel robot wasn't equipped for such precise jumps, so she could just stare and watch as Lyberti risked life and limb for the mission.
'Can't hear you over how hard I'm focusing on this, seriously, can it, Lisa!', Lyberti shouted, though she wore a small smirk. This was way easier than it seemed to an outsider. Turning into a ball, she rolled just enough to avoid the top laser, then used the momentum to bounce over a bottom laser. That, however, led to her arriving at the far harder grid: The zig zags.
'All right, ha ha, we had our fun and games, NOW GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW YOUNG LADY!', Lisa screamed, spitting all over her screen. The Squirrel robot protested.
Tongue sticking out, Lyberti calculated the necessary jumps needed. There was a space in between the lasers, but a VERY thin one. The only way through would be…
'CARTWHEEL, BITCHES!', Lyberti cried, readying herself.
'NO, BITCHES DON'T WANT THAT, STAP, BITCHES WANT YOU OVER HERE!'
Lyberti ignored again, however, and cleared the lasers, a perfect cartwheel that left even Lisa impressed. Very impressed.
'How did she do that… That's about as superhuman as you can get without… Well, Lori's powers!', Lisa mused, tapping her chin in thought.
Now, however, Lyberti reached the hardest part. Lasers pretty much everywhere, top, middle and bottom. Stretching out in all kinds of impossible and tight ways. No crevices, no escape, no way out.
Lyberti wrinkled her nose, wracking her brain for a solution.
'An answer is usually under your nose.', Lyberti thought, and she looked down. Nothing.
Then… She looked up, just in case.
A bar. A small bar, holding a robot arm that pointed somewhere else.
'LYBERTI NO.', Lisa yelled in utter fright, shaking like jell-o.
'LYBERTI YES.', Lyberti replied, leaping up to the bar and sticking out her right hand. A fall could ruin everything! She had to stick to it, she had to!
Reaching… Reaching… So close…
GRAB!
'WOO HOO!', Lyberti cheered, but suddenly…
She was slipping!
Sweat mixed in her palm and her right hand, her stronger hand, was about to let go!
'NO!', Lisa cried out in helpless agony, feeling as frozen as a statue. This was all her…
'No…', Lyberti thought, determination creasing her forehead. No, not after how she had fucked up yesterday, or that day with Heist. This time, Lyberti Evans would help the cause!
GRAB!
And with her weaker hand, Lyberti grabbed the bar!
Lisa stood there, even more amazed now. Under all that stress, with such danger and risk, under nearly impossible stakes, that was… That was…
'Super…', she whispered, as Lyberti hung onto the bar now with both hands, then maneuvered her body towards the robot arm, sliding down to the other side.
Reaching an ordinary lever, Lyberti gave a simple push and…
BZZT!
The laser grid turned off, allowing Lisa passage to the other end of the lab, and closer towards Lori.
'I… I…', Lisa stammered, the robot looking shocked too with an agape mouth.
'10 years of gymnastics and hyperactivity will do that for you. Eh? Eh?', Lyberti cockily pointed out, cleaning her fist on her clothes. 'Pretty good, huh?'
Lisa froze. '...Not bad, I suppose.', she replied, but Lyberti could tell she was a little impressed.
'Lead the way, then!', Lyberti graciously bowed, and Lisa's robot scurried away, the acrobat in tow.
It didn't take long for The Guardian to decide it made more sense to search together (especially when Lori and Skelly reported back from the kitchen with zero clues, and an even hungrier stomach that made Lori decide she had to be away from the kitchen no matter what), and so the trio investigated the walls above, with Guardian holding Lori up, who held Skelly now in a baby carrier she automatically packed thanks to Lily.
Guardian kept listening in and flying closer, but she snapped her fingers in disappointment rather than success. 'I just can't find anything! Maybe I need our glasses?'
Lori giggled, half embarrassed half amused. 'Me! We wear contacts, remember? Or did you actually forget our awkward phase?'
'As if I could forget, UGH.', Guardian replied, stifling a laugh. 'Those braces could blind a blind man.'
'And that's before we talk about how shiny they were!', Lori joked.
The two laughed, flying over to another wall to investigate. 'Not to mention that horrible acne. I love pizza, but not enough for it to be my face, thank you!', Guardian barbed, nudging Lori.
Lori chuckled and nodded in that way you do when having a conversation that's fun. 'Right? And at least that was out of our control, sort of! That blue bow? Hello, the 1930's called, they want you to stay away because it's THAT old fashioned!'
Lori then corrected herself. 'Well, Lyberti makes it work. It's cute on her. But she's always cute, so…'
'I feel you, but the glasses were the worst part. Thank goodness these contacts work so well most of the time. But maybe during the split you got them? Or maybe they're just weaker in general?', Guardian considered. Lori pouted her lip in thought. 'Maybe. Or maybe we just gotta look in the kitchen again. I was kinda distracted.'
'All right, let's go then.', Guardian agreed, and they flew down to the kitchen, landing softly. 'Thank you for choosing Air Guardian, the only way to travel via human.', she joked, smiling. Lori smirked and replied 'You call that first class? No movie, no peanuts, no seatbelts? LA-ME!'
Skelly smiled brightly as the girls laughed again, teeth nearly chattering in excitement. 'Perhaps this would be easier than I thought!', he voiced internally.
'Okay, I'll check that mini fridge so you don't get distracted, you check the table. If we can get out of here, I can probably get one of the chuckleheads Raven left to get us out of here. Up, up, and away!', Guardian instructed, rushing to the mini Fridge in a leap that was like a mini flight of its own. Lori grinned, happy to see her hero self be a little more familiar, a little kinder and happier. 'Maybe things aren't so bad after all.', Lori happily conceded for once.
She turned to the table, searching under each chair, clearing the dust with her breath in the hope of discovering some secret.
'The powers didn't cure your eyesight?', Skelly asked, meanwhile, intrigued. Lori shook her head as she stood up, sneezing from the dust and shivering. 'N…No. Guess it doesn't change EVERYTHING.'
Lori then jumped up. 'Not that I care because…'
OOF!
'Dang it. I was really hoping she was wrong about the power transfer.', Lori commented, disappointed. Dusting herself off, she professed 'While I really enjoy being kinda buff now, I love flight the most.'
'Really?', Guardian asked, surprised. She walked over from the mini fridge, holding out…
'My body! Oh, I missed you, old friend!', Skelly enthused, rolling off of Lori's baby carrier and onto the waiting and dancing body, the two reunited. 'Now that's what I call HEAD-ing off to a good start!', he laughed, slapping his knee bone. The two girls chuckled along, shaking their heads at his silliness.
'Well, to answer your question…', Lori turned to Guardian, leaning onto the wall next to the table. 'Yeah! It just makes me feel so…'
Lori fought back tears as she said this. It didn't feel right, but it was true. 'Free. Like, the possibilities are endless. Like the first shot at a new golf course. Just so full of… Possibilities.'
Guardian nodded, flexing all the while. 'I can get that, but you just can't beat those muscles! Look at us! Wait until we really hit the gym, we'll be ripped!', she posed, her back muscles starting to show, her biceps glistening. 'I bet that first ab will show up after we get outta here!'
'True, but what about the wind in your hair? Or the sun and the clouds being so close to the touch?', Lori countered, sounding all dreamy.
'Being pretty much indestructible kicks ass, too. We can deflect bullets, Lori! Deflect bullets!', Guardian enthused, Lori humming in agreement. 'It's a toughie, I must agree. Would make a serious Buzzfeed quiz stumper.'
'I always loved freezing things and making ice cream out of my breath!', Skelly said, causing the girls to laugh again. 'Skelly, we can't even do that!'
'Oh, right! My b!', Skelly chuckled in response, his funny bone shaking like a bowl of jelly.
'Heh, okay, this is nice, but we REALLY do need to get out of here, and I don't wanna just smash out of here like we talked about before.', Guardian explained, adopting a determined expression. 'Lori, anything we haven't checked yet?'
Lori massaged her temples, using every ounce of thought she had. 'Hmm… No, not that… No… Grr…'
Guardian suddenly put a hand on her shoulder, smiling encouragingly, voice as soft as an angel's kiss. 'Keep going, you got this!'
Lori stared, nearly shocked. Was this what The Guardian… What she sounded and felt like? It felt soothing and calming and… Downright…
'Heroic.', Lori thought, smiling back. 'Hmm…', turning around, uttering her 'Don't overthink it' mantra, she noticed the photograph. 'We haven't checked behind that!', she pointed excitedly.
'Allow me!', Skelly offered, and he took the photograph off carefully, laying it on the table face up so it wouldn't collect dust.
'There!', Guardian shouted out, giddy.
Yes, right there was a lever! A really strong, heavy lever by the look of things, but a lever indeed! This had to be it!
'Good work, Lori! I have to admit, you actually helped out.', Guardian complimented genuinely, before cracking her knuckles, wiggling her fingers, and grabbing onto the lever, pushing as hard as she could.
'Happy to hear.', Lori replied, over the moon. Was she actually feeling… Good about herself? She spun around and saw Skelly giving her a thumb's up.
Of course, that didn't last long.
Looking down, Lori looked at the photograph and saw it: A family photo, showcasing Bertrand Tetherby and his adopted son, Clive Tetherby, A.K.A Mr. Stone.
And it wasn't exactly a sight for sore eyes.
Lori lifted the picture, circling it with her thumb, a worried expression knitting her eyes and lips. For a family photo, it was disturbing. Bertrand was holding Clive, yes, and he seemed to be smiling nicely…
But Clive seemed scared of his touch. He was all hunched and awkward and sort of moving away from the smaller man. His face showed no happiness, not even a sort of embarrassment a child would have.
It showed an expression Lori knew all too well recently, an expression The Raven had created many times as of late.
Fear.
Soon, the slightly dusty parts were gone, replaced with tear marks that spread like tiny pools across the image. Lori closed her eyes and thought of Clive. How he believed in her despite everything. How he gave her food and water. How he felt forced to do all he was told to do. How he seemed so horribly unhappy, so resigned to not having a chance.
Lori would not stand for that. Not the Lori Lori wanted to be, at least.
'We have to make one pit stop before we go to The Raven.', Lori suddenly announced, surprising Guardian, who was still pulling the lever. She fell off, oofing, and when she got up she seemed kind of miffed. 'What pit stop? Lori, may I remind you how delicate and time sensitive this is? We kind of have an election on our hands! Mr. 'It's okay to kidnap kids and traumatize them if it means they're safe afterwards' is about to win!'
'I know, and I agree, but we have to get Clive out of here!', Lori announced, before reconsidering with a shrug. 'Well, not force him out. We should ask. But at least that!'
Guardian scoffed, nearly laughing again. She wiped a tear of mirth. 'Oh, that's rich! Great one, Lori!'
Lori stared at her blankly, almost shocked.
'...You're not joking?'
'OF COURSE I'M NOT JOKING!', Lori protested, shaking her hands up and down, the picture nearly flying out of her hands. 'You saw and heard him back there! You saw him on top of Gus' Game and Grub! LOOK AT HIM!'
She stuck the picture up Guardian's face, the sad expression could shatter a heart. 'This guy needs us! Like the rest of the city, he's a victim of The Raven, one way or the other!'
'Oh, come on! Don't tell me you fell for that sad sack act, Lori!', Guardian crossed her arms, judgy disbelief etched across her face.
'It's not an act!'
'Do you remember when he YEETED POOR DR. NEVIO TO THE ROAD?!'
'HE SAID HE DIDN'T WANT TO HURT HIM AND KNEW WE'D SAVE HIM! BESIDES, HE'S BEING PEER PRESSURED! WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES!'
Guardian suddenly steamed up and stared right into Lori's eyes like a raging bull. 'OH, NOW YOU SAY THAT? MS. ETERNAL FUCKING GUILT? YOU HAVE A REAL SICK SENSE OF HUMOR, YOU KNOW THAT?!'
Lori looked away, ashamed. Then back, determined. 'Even then… We should try.'
Guardian tutted in disgust, shaking her head apropos. 'Honestly, Lori. If you can't see you're the reason we're being held back, here and in general, you are truly blind without your glasses.'
Lori stamped her foot. 'He needs us!'
'No, you decided he does. He's in no danger, he did his job, and Raven isn't even coming back for now. We could stop the old man and go back before he even knows it. Even if you are right, he'll be fine!'
Lori wanted to argue, but she hated how sound that, well, sounded.
'Now, if you will excuse me, I have a job WE are supposed to do. You're welcome.', Guardian critiqued, going back to pushing the lever.
Lori turned to Skelly, who seemed saddened by the whole retearing of the relationship. 'Skelly, you apparently live inside me. Are you sure I'M the bad parts?'
Skelly shook his head. 'I don't believe anyone here is solely bad. I can see all kinds of things, living inside your soul and all! You both are capable of so many different things!'
'That doesn't help! Am I right? Or is she?', Lori demanded, a little impatient. Coughing, she felt herself shaking. 'Because… Because I need to know. I need to do the right thing, and… Oh, god, but I must be wrong. I don't have the powers, and I feel so bad… But, but Clive… Surely that's the right thing?'
Lori was pacing around, utterly lost, before throwing her arms up in frustration and practically screaming. 'GOD DAMN IT! WHAT IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO, WHAT IS THE RIGHT WAY? WHY CAN'T I FIND IT?!'
Sinking to the floor, she hugged herself, sniffling. 'I'm trying so hard. Even though I don't believe in myself. I… God, I just want to help, Skelly. Can't I even do that? Is my soul really that lost?'
Skelly walked over to her, and when Lori looked up, she was surprised to find him with a paint brush and easel, speaking like Bob Ross. 'Well, Lori, shucks, I did say I can see all kinds of things in your soul! Gosh, let's see, I'll paint a… Little survivor's guilt tree over here…'
Skelly did, painting the cutest tree Lori ever did see, even with the implication. She slowly stood up, observing it. It seemed so sad and alone, crying sapling tears. The only tree in the forest. Lori related badly. 'Why couldn't I have been chopped down?', she muttered aloud.
'Hmm, of course. And here's a cloud of savior complex but a tad more selfless, over there!'
The cloud hovered above the land, raining and raining, trying so hard to do good. Was the rain enough? Was it the right kind of wet, was it the right amount? Was it forgetting anyone? Or was all this worrying the true reason it would fail? 'Poor cloud. She's clearly doing her best, can't she see that?', Lori said quite blindly.
'Truly, what a sympathetic cloud.', Skelly smiled warmly back. Suddenly, he painted with inspiration. 'And OOH, is that a shift in your sexuality coming in as a cute little BI-cycle?'
Lori honked and gaped. 'I'M NOT… WHAT.'
'Oh, sorry, that's got nothing to do with anything! But hey, even if it means nothing, it's okay to question things, Lori!', Skelly informed, even though Lori was still too stunned to speak. Once she could, she whispered '...How do I fix it, Skelly? Can it be fixed?'
'See, this is why we gotta get into some spiritual healing! Now, when I say your name, you say "Can overcome this angst and give herself a chance", let's go! Lori!', Skelly pointed at her, motivational and energetic, like an exercise video tape host. He was even dressed like one suddenly.
'Not now!', said The Guardian, who nearly pulled the lever down.
'Wasn't talking to you. Lori!'
'I think I can hear… Digging?', Lori swiveled her head, confused. She looked towards the end of the hall. Was that floor… Opening up?
'Into your soul!', Skelly answered enthusiastically.
'NO, LITERAL DIGGING!', Lori shouted, pointing at the floor, making Guardian slip again and Skelly turn around and grimace. 'Oh, shit… That's not good.'
That specific place in the floor suddenly burst open, and out came Mr. Stone's friends, the one Guardian had fought back when she was with Lincoln at Gus' Game and Grub!
'You! You worked with Clive!', Lori shouted, holding Skelly protectively and trying to give them her fiercest glare. Unfortunately, she sneezed like a kitten instead. 'Gosh, has anyone got a tissue? I seem to be coming down with something. Haven't missed this feeling, no siree.', Lori stated, trying not to cringe from the slight snot on her upper lip.
'Oh, sure, just a second, Miss!', Digger volunteered, removing a tissue from his pockets. It had an elephant on it, and said "At least you're not sneezing with an Elephant trunk!". He handed it over to Lori, who gladly took it and blew. 'Ah, thanks! That's really kind of you, you guys really don't feel like villains.', she pointed out, confused by their whole existence. 'Though you do make sense as friends of Clive now that I think about it.'
'Whoever you are, that's right! But we're more interested in her, so stop talking!', Wedge pointed at The Guardian. 'Mr. Raven said we were to distract you a little, since we're 'very distracting'! What a complement!'
'Yeah, he really loves us!', Po remarked, squeeing. 'He says we're 'Beyond belief' and 'Like no one he's ever seen'! We must have really left an impression!'
Lori and Guardian exchanged looks and both did the cuckoo sign. Guardian then leapt past Lori and Skelly and landed with a thud on the ground, shaking the 3 knuckleheads as if there was a mini earthquake.
'Ha! I beat you bozo's once, I can do it again!', Guardian challenged, only to gasp as she saw the men begin to shift! Their sleeves tore, revealing shining metal! Their eyes glimmered as they grew in size! Suddenly, robotic implements revealed themselves from their construction worker outfits!
'The Raven gave our costumes… Upgrades, to say the least!', All three announced.
Wedge was now wearing yellow-black armor, resembling a pneumatic drill's base. His head had a proper metal casing now that spun, somehow not hurting his head, which seemed as sharp as a pirate's rapier as he cackled maniacally. Just to add to his danger, he wielded a huge demolition ball on a chain, cracking like a whip. 'WEDGER!', he shouted him name out, posing like an anime girl going through a transformation.
Po's lime green vest was also armor now, but also a protective shield, massive in size so that Po could dig around for all kinds of explosives to throw. Where his hands used to be, were barrels to shoot out said bombs, and his headphones were… Still the same, he stood his ground on the cute mushroom logos. 'Ex-PO-Sion!', he announced, doing the Gangnam style just about.
Digger's orange vest with white sleeves and a Dora the Explorer shirt stayed, but instead of arms he had real digger buckets now, wearing like the machinery in Raven's labs, shining with danger. 'DIGGER! STILL DIGGER, IT FITS!', Digger explained, dabbing and hurting his forehead. 'Mothertrucker! Wait, my kids aren't here! I can swear! MOTHERFUCKER!'
Lori, Skelly and Guardian all gasped in surprise at the serious level up the men had taken. These were NOT the comparative N00BS Lori had beaten back at Gus' Game and Grub.
The men laughed daringly before declaring 'You can call us… THE CONSTRUCTION CREW!'
A heavy metal guitar riff suddenly played. Everyone looked back at Skelly, who laughed sheepishly. 'It just felt fitting.'
Digger cleared his throat and exclaimed 'Construction Crew, 'cause we're gonna CONSTRUCT a defeat for you! Yeah! That… That works, that's clever!', he said, nodding and searching for approval. 'It is!', said the others, jumping up and down. 'Oh, thank god, I worked on that all week.', Digger said in relief, wiping his brow.
'SPOILER ALERT: IT DIDN'T!', Guardian cried out, punching one palm with her first to intimidate them. 'Now, back off…'
She grinned heroically, eyes nearly sparkling through the cheap lighting. 'You wouldn't want me to come over and make you, would you?'
'Oh, we do! Because we wanna battle!', Ex-PO-Sion corrected. Wedger nudged him. 'Dude, duh! She's bantering!'
'Ah! Well… Don't come over, because we will! And transportation in this country is at ridiculously high prices, the economy is a shambles and so will your body be after we're done kicking your ass!'
'...NICE!', Wedger complimented Ex-PO-Sion, the latter blushing and grinning. 'Oh, stop, you!'
'Guys, she's coming over!', Digger shouted out in fear. He was right to be. Guardian sored into the sky and came down with her fists clenched and her cape swooshing. The three men screamed as she landed, planting them onto the floor with a right to Wedger's cheek, a left to Digger's nose, and once she landed, two uppercuts to Ex-PO-Sion's jaw.
'WHAT? THIS FACE COVER IS SUPPOSED TO HURT!', Wedger bitched as he stood up, gearing for a charge at Guardian.
Guardian whistled nonchalantly as she removed a glove and did her nails. 'Oh, fr? Maybe we should check again!'
'Right! Here, plant one right here!', Wedger pointed at his other cheek. Guardian shrugged with a naughty chuckle and…
WHAM!
'FUCK! WOW! OKAY, SHE'S STRONG, GUYS, I CAN CONFIRM!', Wedger told everyone the bloody obvious.
Lori, meanwhile, stood helplessly, unsure of what to do. If she SHOULD do anything. 'With no powers, I'm TOTALLY useless!', Lori whined, suddenly feeling dizzy. She began to back off into a wall, her weakness growing and growing. 'My outside fits my inside now, literally. I can't do anything. I can't do anything. Oh, god, is this another panic attack, or just a really bad sneeze?'.
The girl was spiraling, her depression and guilt feasting on her sickly remains. Looking at The Guardian, she felt even worse.
It was like poetry in motion, a dance really. Ex-PO-Sion finally had the bright idea of using his weapons, and he threw a bomb, but Guardian grabbed it mid air, swung like a professional baseball player, cried out 'Batter up!', and yeeted it at Digger, who swung at it to deflect and hit Wedger instead, who thankfully could take a blast to the face now.
Digger then charged with his buckets and tried to strike Guardian on the face. She smirked and blocked with one arm, as if it were a bucket too. The other bucket then tried and got blocked by the other arm. 'En garde!', she cried, wiggling her eyebrows. A pseudo sword fight commenced, with each strike being blocked. Right bucket, right arm, left bucket, left arm, right bucket, left arm, then Guardian twists and turns her back to backhand block the left bucket with her right arm. Grabbing Digger's hair, she lifts herself up to float over to the other side, reminiscent of her old wrestling days, and with two deft karate chops to the back, drops the man to his knees.
Wedger then catches her off guard, ramming into her with his spinning drill edge on his forehead. The metal tip would probably tear through most people's flesh, but The Guardian isn't most people. She gets up, to Wedger's massive surprise, and rubs the bump through her hood. 'Oh, that hurt… AS IF!', Guardian mockingly laughed at him, before charging like a bull and headbutting him on the casing, sending Wedger flying onto a wall, now appropriately wedged into it.
Blowing on her fist, Guardian took a moment to brag. 'Gee, boys, I was expecting a challenge after that whole transformation sequence! Bros thought they were Sailor Moon!'
Lori, however, only felt worse. Her puffy eyes produced warm tears from the way she was fever sweating. 'Look at her. Free like a bird. No limits, no hesitation, no time for doubts and fears. She could do 100 times the work I do, and not feel horrible for the rest of her life.'
Lori barely whispered out the words, so pained and parched her throat was. 'Maybe I really am the problem. Maybe I really am the worst parts of Lori. What do I even offer?"
'Um, Lori? I'm sorry to interrupt your angst session but…', Skelly pointed worriedly towards the battle. Apparently, Guardian ramming into Wedger that hard had sent a shockwave that separated the skull and body again, and the body was…
RUNNING STRAIGHT INTO THE BATTLE!
'OH NO!', Lori cried, and like a bolt, suddenly snapped into action. Placing Skelly's skull into the baby carrier again, she hacked and shook her head like it was a bobble head. 'Lori, are you sure you can…', Skelly asked out of concern, but she gave him a thumb's up. 'I've literally got this. Hang tight.'
Running into battle with a declarative sneeze, Lori attempted to grab the body, which was about to be rammed by Wedger. Guardian, noticing that, stepped in front of Wedger, taking it to the chest and wobbling a little. 'Oof… Okay, that one hurt.', she admitted.
Lori's swipe failed, however. She tripped from her lack of balance and found Ex-PO-Sion aiming a flamethrower at her. 'Ah, ah, ah! Take one more step and I'll make this kid's scalp shine like a bowling ball!'
'NO! MY HAIR IS ONE OF THE FEW THINGS I DON'T HATE ABOUT MYSELF! AND LET'S BE HONEST, I CAN'T PULL THAT LOOK OFF! I'D BE A FASHION EYESORE!', Lori shrieked, terrified.
'How about the fact it would hurt?', Skelly reminded.
'Yeah, it would hurt others having to see it!', Lori replied, and Skelly wished he could facepalm.
'YOU'RE OFFICIALLY MY LEAST FAVORITE, PO!', Guardian cried, grabbing the flamethrower hand and aiming it at Po's ass.
For Po's sake, I'll spare the details.
As he ran around in piercing pain, Lori jumped back onto her feet and found the body hiding up on the wall, behind Digger and Wedger, the former charging with his arms, the latter spinning his ball and chain. Lori gasped, but remained brave, closing her eyes and trying to rush past. Guardian gasped too, and with a mighty leap, took the hits so Lori could pass, a bruise forming on her cheek thanks to Digger and some blood coming out of her nose thanks to Wedger, leading to a slight twist in her nose's formation too. Then, two sharp hits to the leg and chest had her out of breath and with a slight limp.
'Quick, Lori! Get my body and we'll help her!', Skelly shouted out in panic, and Lori nodded. Thinking back to all her training at the Gym and trying to remain brave, Lori pretended she still had her powers and did a wall jump, right leg launching her from the right wall to the left wall, wherein the left leg catapulted her. But she wasn't going to reach!
'No, I… I have to help!', Lori cried out, eyes closed with faith and determination, and while she wasn't sure exactly how, she sort of double jumped like in a game and reached Skelly's body!
'YES!', Lori cheered, and she landed gracefully, before nearly slipping. Laughing, she waved the body at Skelly's skull. 'Special delivery to a Mr. Skelly's skull, address: awesome spirit guide land!'
'Oh, thank you!', Skelly cheered, reinserting his head again. 'Second time's the charm, I hope!'
'Yeah! And did you see how I jumped there? I was all like "WA-HOO!", Lori enthused, grinning and bouncing from foot to foot. 'No wonder Mario says that all the time, it's fun!'
'Super Lori, more like it!', Skelly reminded. Lori high fived him and smiled. 'Wow, maybe she was wrong, and…'
But, as she was about to say that, Lori saw Guardian, hurt and struggling, do what she thought she couldn't do.
Persevere.
'Darn, she's still not down!', Ex-PO-Sion commented, throwing a bomb at her which exploded but still didn't collapse her.
'Don't worry, guys, I've got her beat! I overheard what her trigger is!', Wedger revealed with a malicious smirk. 'Oh, Wedger, let's not…', Digger tried, but Wedger didn't care, he was PISSED.
'Look at you, you loser! Can't even take on a couple of guys on their first day! I bet you couldn't have even saved that brother of yours if you tried!'
Uh oh.
Guardian looked up, seemingly furious. Lori gasped, worried for the men's safety, as was Skelly.
She rose up into the air, but instead of growling or roaring or going ham, Guardian instead took a deep breath and…
Flew right back to the lever, pulling it down.
The invisible door turned on, opening right where the trio was, sending them flying into the right wall, a collapsed heap of pain.
The table then got added to them, so they could barely move, now that they were exhausted from pain.
'Don't move. Good boys.', Guardian quipped, then flew over back to Lori and Skelly. She stared Lori in the eyes and smirked. 'See what we could do, Lori? Have a think about it.'
Leaving the room with a glowing aura and a flowing cape, Guardian also left Lori speechless. She stared at Skelly with her head hung low. 'She's right, isn't she? I'm holding us back.'
Skelly sighed wistfully, then placed a hand on Lori's shoulder, giving her his softest look. 'Maybe. But if it weren't for you, I'd be without my body. You risked your life right now to help me, even when you were feeling like death, physically and mentally.'
Lori blinked in thought, uncertainty and consideration painting her face. Skelly ruffled her hair fondly. 'Doesn't that mean that you aren't just the negative traits? That there's more to this than meets the eye?'
Lori bit her cheek, drawing out a '...Maybe.', After some time.
'...Maybe. I'll take it, when it comes to you.', Skelly smiled again, and he began to follow Guardian.
Left to ponder what anything meant anymore, Lori slowly followed, holding onto the photo of Clive in her hand, happy the dust didn't make her sneeze.
'And THAT'S how we escaped that satanic cult.'
Lisa nodded as she and Lyberti turned one dark corner to the next. 'I see, I… See.'
'...You don't.'
'No, frankly, you should be dead.'
Lyberti laughed from that, as she held the tired squirrel robot, who was now idly waving his flashlight eyes while resting. Lyberti kept petting it even though he was made of metal. 'Okay, okay, fair. But I didn't!'
'True. You seem to have a surprising propensity and proficiency for ludicrously high mortality rate scenarios.', Lisa admitted, which was hard for her, so she hoped Lyberti would appreciate that.
Lyberti blinked twice in confusion. '...What?'
'Jesus H. Christ on a bike, woman, you're a journalist!', Lisa expressed in disbelief, before sighing and shaking her head. 'What I mean is, you are apparently pretty good at avoiding death.'
'Ah! Thanks!'
The two turned another corner, now in front of a door with facial recognition software. The imposing blue behemoth seemed more like the door to a meat freezer than a lab.
'Uh oh. How are we gonna get through this?', Lyberti questioned, scratching her bow. The Robot Squirrel suddenly opened its mouth and flew up towards the door, configuration noises abound.
'This Raven has some truly advanced tech, but he's not ahead of me in every single way.', Lisa's voice droned out as a hologram began to form. 'If this Tetherby really works for him, and I believe he does after what you told me, then this should do the trick.'
Lyberti couldn't deny it felt good to hear that, though that was soon replaced by awe as she witnessed the hologram of Bertrand Tetherby's face, so crisp and perfect one would have believed it really was him.
'Tetherby, Bertrand. Access granted.', the door's AI spoke out, and it opened with a mighty hiss and wheer, revealing a long, lonely corridor.
'Wow!', Lyberti exclaimed, eyes sparkling, and she stimmed. 'That was absolutely amazing! I'm starstruck!
'Thank you, autographs outside.', Lisa barbed with a small smile, and the two walked inside.
The corridor wasn't at first anything that fancy. It was the same color as all the other rooms, a sort of routine gray and blue, with long spaces empty of people and things. 'Backrooms esque', Lyberti couldn't help but think.
But, as they went deeper, they soon discovered this hallway HAD significance.
Photographs. Photographs with inscriptions. Of poor people on Royal Woods who have died. Of criminals and their history of struggle. Drawings and sketches of inventions, ideas, projects. Lines of string connected each item, revealing the criminal cabals that ruled over Royal Woods. Lyberti gasped as she witnessed them. 'Mayor Volte. Commissioner Jones. Sergio "The Shadow" Telesco?', Lyberti asked, confused, pointing at the image of a man in a green reverend like uniform.
'Hmm. No idea.', Lisa shrugged. 'But as you can see, this is a typical wall of crazy we got here. Whatever this Raven guy is planning, he's been at it for a while.'
Lyberti stared at the drawing of a massive power suit and sketch of a gigantic robot factory in slight concern. 'And I don't know anymore if it's good or not.'
'Whatever his intentions are, he's done horrible things to get there, Evans.', Lisa reminds, directing Lyberti's attention to photos of…
'The kidnapped children.', Lyberti gasped, stepping towards each one. Details and locations were written down, as well as a note to contact the "kidnapping expert".
'Not… Just them.', Lisa coughed sadly, and when Lyberti turned, she gasped again. Her picture, alongside her father. With details, with address. 'He knows what clubs I go to. What time I get back home. He really does read my articles. Or, well, his boss does.', Lyberti muttered, fear catching her throat.
Lisa awkwardly asked '...It must have been… I'm sure you… I can't imagine…'
Lyberti patted the squirrel, and Lisa felt a little bit better. 'I'm okay. I was okay. The Guardian saved me, remember?'
They agreed to move on silently for now, and on the next wall were images of the aforementioned heroine. Notes about her abilities, about what else could be hiding there, about who she was. Lisa managed to block those with the Squirrel robot just in time.
'Secret identity. I begrudgingly understand.', Lyberti explained, resisting the intense urge to traverse the walls and scream like a parrot at th E.
A different image however caught both their attentions as they stepped away from that wall. A few, in fact.
One was of The Guardian, offering her hand to someone off camera. Her smile was as soft as Lyberti remembered, and even softer than Lisa knew. Her eyes seemed to shine a little, as if a blue light emanated, and her radiating aura could be felt even now. The lonely inscription stated 'I hope she can understand.'
The other image was of three people. One looked a lot like Bertrand, but younger, happier. He stood in the middle, eyes closed, as if he were free of the shackles of responsibility and duty.
On his left was a woman, one Lyberti and Lisa knew as Melanie Pingrey. She seemed oddly happy too, smiling romantically at the man on the right. A blue man, with eyes as kind as Lori's, and a smile that warmed your heart like the sun.
On the bottom it said:
'For them.'
Below it were countless images, tiny ones, as small as stamps, showcasing every single one of the citizens in Royal Woods!
'For all of them.'
'I guess Raven's not just doing this for himself, then.', Lyberti finally choked out. Lisa's robot nodded, and they stood there, just the two of them, as if they were staring at stained glass windows in a church.
'...How DID you get to know The Guardian?', Lyberti asked, suddenly, and Lisa stammered for a response. 'Oh, well… She, um…'
Lisa thought back to the day Lori taught her how to ride a bike. How supportive and patient she had been, when Lisa would never have been that way if it was the opposite.
She nose sighed. '...She offered me kindness when I didn't really deserve it. She's always protected me, no matter how stubborn I got.', she added, thinking of the times Lori had treated her after lab accidents.
It was what made Lori's penchant for zero self-preservation so frustrating. Lisa had been saved by Lori. She wasn't supposed to get her to save herself.
'I guess I could say the same.', Lyberti whispered, eyes avoiding Lisa, hiding the tears. 'She's saved me countless times, and taught me like a real mentor, even with all the mistakes I've made. I always wanted to do something BIG. Now I wanna do GOOD. Like her. Like… My mom.', she smiled a watery smile, rousing courage and determination. 'I… I hope that one day, I can be a real help to her, and to Royal Woods.'
'She's inspired you that much, huh?', Lisa asked, taking some notes about the girl that she couldn't help, especially if she was going to hang around this much. Lyberti nodded. 'If only she could see that. She seemed so sad back at my place.', the reporter mentioned sadly.
'On that, we can agree.', Lisa replied. 'Which is why it's imperative we get back on track.'
The two nodded and resumed their chase, leaving through another door, not noticing the entire room behind them set aflame.
There, a fork in the path showed up. Lisa, forgetting to check the tracker, looked at Lyberti and decided to apologize in the form of showing her some trust. 'Pick the path.'
'Really?', Lyberti asked, surprised. 'Wow, Lisa, that's so nice of…'
'We need to get there fast, no time for appreciation, come on, I trust you, let's go!', Lisa clapped for speed, and an alarmed Lyberti looked at the doors and panickingly chose the one that seemed largest.
And so, they continued their journey…
'Ugh… Ugh… Oof… Grr…'
Lori turned back to look at Guardian, who had a facial expression as sour as a lemon, and a mood befitting such a bitter taste.
'Are you going to keep making those Minecraft noises to attract my attention, or are you gonna spit it out, sourpuss?', Lori berated, frustrated at herself. a familiar position.
'This goddamn hallway! This whole frikin' lair! It's going on and on and on and ON! It's like it never gets to the point!', Guardian commented, a little self-critique from this writer perhaps XD but also a legit complaint from Guardian. Lori, Skelly and her looked around as she waved her arms about. The halls stretched forwards like her own outstretched arms, a simple red carpet adorning the ordinary metal floor. The walls were the same blue gray they were all over the gaff, and there was this horrible, eerie silence, deafening in its presence. As if the torture outside of the prison was how long it took to get out.
'Well, true…', Lori admitted, pointing at Guardian, before frowning. 'But what's the point of moaning about it? There's nothing we can do!'
'Nothing we can do? If you hadn't wasted so much time in there with this… Spirit guide bullshit, we'd have far more time to get to the election in, well, time!', Guardian complained again, pointing at Lori assertively. The two girls stepped closer and closer to each other, tensions flaring. 'Yeah, because helping people isn't our job, apparently, good to know!'
'Oh, stop it! Getting this skeleton's body and asking Clive if he wants to leave isn't our job! And even then, we have something a little more pressing! Both of them weren't in any danger, right?'
'I mean, I guess…', Skelly said, trying to calm the two down, but they snapped at him, swiveling heads at the same time. 'STAY OUT OF THIS!'
'Okay…', Skelly muttered, backing off a little.
Lori glared at Guardian, eyes narrowing, darkening. Coughs filtered her words. 'It… Would take… Five minutes to… Talk to Clive!'
'Five minutes in which The Raven could win!', Guardian's head touched Lori's, the two like raging bucks.
'You're selfish!', Lori cried.
'If anyone's selfish, it's you!', Guardian cried back, nostrils flaring. Lori heated up, half outraged half hating how much she agreed with that assessment. 'I… HOW IS WANTING TO SAVE PEOPLE SELFISH?!'
'Okay, I'm noticing a little… Tension.', Skelly interjected, stepping into the convo and separating the two. The girls were surprised by the sudden strength of the skeleton, but continued to stare each other down. 'I think what we all need is a little MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING!'
Skelly illustrated this with letters that materialized out of nowhere, glittering in the light.
Lori and Guardian squinted in confusion. 'We're literally the same person? Hello?'
'Yes, hello class, welcome to 'Mutual Understanding' class, Mr. Skelly speaking!', Skelly announced, and the girls were surprised to find themselves suddenly in an actual classroom, still in the lair, but sitting on wooden chairs in front of a now glasses wearing Skelly, who used a chalk to write his name on a blackboard. On it was a chalk drawing of the two Lori's smiling and holding hands.
'Now, class, who can tell me what 'Mutual Understanding' is?', Skelly asked, staring at the two students. Guardian impatiently raised her arm, but so did Lori, and the two got into a contest of who could raise their arm higher, stepping onto the tables. Guardian flew up, raising her arm the highest she could. 'Guardian?', Skelly asked.
Guardian stuck her tongue out at Lori. Lori hmm'd and turned her nose up at her. 'Why, it's when two people understand each other.'
'Exactly! Now, normally, you two being of the same spirit would be fine in that regard, but clearly there's some conflict.'
'Yeah, because we need to get out of here and stop The Raven! Class dismissed!', Guardian protested, trying to get out. Skelly shook his head, however, and she reluctantly sat down again.
Skelly pointed at Lori. 'Lori, can you tell the class what is your problem with Ms. Guardian here?''
'Simple, Mr. Skelly!', Lori replied, raising her hand and staying in her seat. 'We are supposed to be a superhero, and yet the one with the powers over here doesn't want to do the job!'
'I do! The job is saving the city!', Guardian retorted.
'Is saving people not saving the city? What if Clive needs your help? Should he suffer?', Skelly pointed out. 'THANK YOU!', Lori exclaimed. 'Teacher's pet.', Guardian whined, then she raised her hand.
'Yes, Guardian?'
'My problem isn't that! I'm not saying that isn't important!'
'Really? You keep saying we should ignore those people!', Lori retorted, glaring at her counterpart. 'After all we've been through, you'd ignore someone in need? Even I know that with all my flaws, I've learned that one thing!'
Guardian turned red in rage. 'HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT?! HOW DARE YOU?!'
'Okay, okay, let's…', Skelly started, but Guardian interjected. 'NO! YOU WANNA KNOW WHY I DON'T WANT US TO TAKE THESE UNIMPORTANT STOPS?!'
She leaned over to Lori and prodded her in the chest, making the girl hack and wheeze. 'BECAUSE YOU ONLY WANNA DO IT FOR SELFISH REASONS! FOR YOURSELF!'
'WHAT?! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!', Lori questioned, incredulous.
'You know that stopping The Raven is more important! But all day you've been guilt tripped, dreaming of the impossible: Stopping Lincoln's injury! You always think about it, but today, oh, it's number one on the charts, baby!', Guardian lectured, fire in her eyes and venom in her words as she lashed out at Lori. 'You're fragile, desperate to do anything to make up for it! It's what keeps us grounded rather than soaring, it's why this spirit guide even came to us! Why we split! That's why you wanna stop us and do all those things! Because you feel guilty again! There's no road forwards because you're stuck in the past replaying 'if only' on loop like it's a fucking "Boyz will be Boyz" song! You wanna do our job? You wanna be a superhero? START ACTING LIKE ONE!'
Lori shrunk from the challenge, and when Guardian was finished she seemed on the verge of tears, shaking and shivering and hugging herself.
'Case made.', Guardian scoffed, looking away in disgust.
Skelly stared at Lori with much sympathy. 'Now, I wouldn't say that's exactly true…'
'Oh, let's face it.', Lori suddenly broke her silence, between sniffles and sobs. 'It's the selfish, self-absorbed, pathetic thing to do. I'm probably doing it subconsciously. It's me, Skelly. You live inside me, surely you know by now how pointless I am.'
Skelly shook his head, vehemently. 'Lori, that's not true!'
'Yeah? Prove it!', Lori asked angrily.
Suddenly, a puff of smoke billowed the room! Lori, Guardian and Skelly coughed over and over, eyes blocked from all but two gleaming eyes in the darkness, full of life for the first time in years.
'Hocus Pocus…', the eyes taunted…
Lincoln was having a pretty terrible day, all things considered.
Sure, getting to stay home from school because of how draining his exercises had been was nice.
'But not when I don't know where Lori is.'
All day he had spent searching for her whereabouts, trying to understand what was up with her. His laptop was full of tabs: Local news sites, YouTube channels, a live stream of News 4, even one kinda creepy conspiracy theorist's site that supposedly tracked 'every appearance of the Guardian'. Lincoln checked every location he knew Lori frequented. He checked the golf course, he checked Carol's place, he checked the mall. He checked the Guardian's normal patrol routes, Pingrey Enterprises, every bank and jewelry store and robbery hotspot in the city.
Nothing. Nada. Zilch.
His eyes grew tired and puffy from staring at his screen for so long, but so did his guilt if he DID fall asleep. Lori needed him! 'She could be in danger, or kidnapped! Or maybe she's hiding somewhere, sad! I have to try and find her! I have to!'
But the more time passed, the more tired Lincoln was. Soon, desperation characterized itself with yawns and fluttering eyelids.
'Why was she so sad?', he wondered, as he began to nod off. 'Was it something I did? Was it just the pressure of being a hero, of college?'
Thinking of how much he loved her, Lincoln tried to transmit his care by telepathy, even though he knew he didn't have it. 'Lori, please, whatever it is that's bothering you, that's made you sad… I'm here for you.'
He fell asleep, whispering 'I love you, no matter what.'
Meanwhile, Lori was in her own sticky situation. She, Guardian and Skelly were bound to the chairs from before by colorful handkerchiefs, staring at a man they all knew far too well standing on a bunch of boxes he had organized as an improvised stage.
I guess you could say they were kinda… Tied up.
…No one? Not even Luan?
Damn.
'Well, well, well, if it isn't our beloved prisoner! And two other people I don't recognize.'
'Lori Loud, Skelly.', Skelly explained. 'Sir, if you could just… Wait, is this the guy that… Ah, never mind. I was going to appeal to his senses but those don't seem to really be there.'
Hocus ignored him and carried on. 'Three's a crowd, how thoughtful of you to bring them to me!', Hocus Pocus, the kidnapper and magic themed villain, crowed through his teeth with sickening glee. He waved his magic wand around, the black stick a sharp contrast to Skelly's chalk.
'You! The kidnapper!', Lori and Guardian cried out at the same time, snarling like furious lions.
'Uh, uh, uh! I have a name now! An actual name, after all this time! Hocus Pocus!', Hocus Pocus declared, grinning from ear to ear. 'Aren't you glad you finally helped me choose? Just one battle and you've changed me so!'
His grin somehow grew wider, more sinister. 'Imagine what the next few will bring to the table!'
'I am NOT interested in battling you, you sicko!', Guardian shouted, trying to get the handkerchiefs off, but unable to. 'Why can't I…', suddenly, she noticed a mark on her arm. One from an injection…
'Oh, did I use some of the temporary cure the boss used on you? Sleight of hand, pet.', Hocus Pocus explained, waving the syringe that shone horribly, blinding Guardian.
'UGH! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, I'LL…', Guardian started to say, but a glued-on card was thrown onto her mouth, shutting her up.
'I'll admit, it makes the game a tad less fun. But I am rehearsing for our proper rematch!', Hocus revealed. 'Seeing what makes you tick. I already know you despise children being hurt. Now, does that extend to… Animals?'
His malicious smirk stayed on as he went to the side and pulled a pulley, revealing a tiny cage hanging from the rooftop. Inside it…
'A bun bun!', Lori cried out. When she caught Hocus Pocus staring at her, she blushed. 'A rabbit, that is. Of course. That's the… Proper term.'
'Well, yes, a rabbit! Cliche, but oh so delightful in execution! Why, observe, Guardian! A poor, innocent, dumb animal, in need of your help! Won't SOMEBODY do something?!', Hocus Pocus teased Guardian, who huffed like an angry bull.
'Will its screams haunt you at night? Do tell next time we meet.', he whispered darkly, then retreated back to the stage, taking out a blindfold and a set of knives.
'Now, ladies and gentlemen, I will attempt to throw these fiercely sharp knives into the tiny cage, in the "hope" of not hurting dear old rabbit! If I fail, well, that's what rehearsals are for…', Hocus announced sadistically, laughing as he tied the blindfold.
Guardian began screaming in rage, muffled by the card. Lori's eyes widened and she stared at the rabbit with paralyzing fear. Skelly stared at Lori, hoping she'd do something.
'And here comes the first knife… The crowd awaits in abated silence…', Hocus narrated, throwing the first knife. It struck the cage but didn't pierce, making the rabbit cry in worry.
Guardian's screams grew louder, the card beginning to fall off from the force of her voice. 'IF… HADN'T… SO LONG…'
Another knife. This one just about missed, but the crying grew harder.
'ALL… YOUR… FAULT…'
Lori hung her head as a third knife struck, just about missing the rabbit, but leaving no room. 'She's right.', Lori stated. 'No, Lori, it's not like that…', Skelly tried, but Lori countered. 'We should have just gone. They didn't need us now. They could wait…'
But as Lori said that, she thought of Lincoln in his wheelchair. Of Lyberti and her father tied up. Of the kid in the alley that one day. Of Carol at school.
She thought of Leo, Nevio, Bertrand Tetherby, the kidnapped kids, the people at the museum, the jewelry store owners.
Skelly's body.
Clive.
She thought of what she had once told Mr. E. What she had been trying to prove since, that her heroism wasn't just to make herself feel better.
She could just let this rabbit go. She could just run off and leave Clive waiting. She could just try and stop Raven.
'But that would just be like him, wouldn't it?', Lori whispered, thinking of the things Raven had told her he had done.
No.
'You're wrong. This was never about me.', Lori suddenly said, Guardian raising an eyebrow.
Suddenly, like it wasn't hard, Lori ripped the handkerchiefs off, the chair falling from the force.
It caused Hocus Pocus to stop throwing knives, narrowly missing the cage. Taking his blindfold off, he said 'What was that?'
'It's about not letting the robber go away, me. It's about not creating another Lincoln.', Lori announced, breathing hard, ignoring how broken her body felt, how cold and sickly she was.
Determined, Lori clenched her fists and took a deep breath.
'It's about stopping The Raven the right way, not his way.'
Hocus Pocus stared at all this and laughed, mocking and underestimating his opponent. 'Who the hell do you even think you are?'
Lori smirked. 'Doesn't matter. Let the bun bun go.'
'Over my dead…', Hocus Pocus started, only to get kicked in the, well, you know the egg trick wizards do in their hat?
Yeah, the eggs.
'DAMN!', Guardian cried out, while Skelly cheered. 'Go, Lori, go!'
Hocus Pocus' eyes rolled to the back of his head, and he stumbled around. 'Oh… Oh, god. Okay, I didn't expect that.'
He then took out his cards and began firing them at Lori. 'But I'm not going down without a fight!'
'Have fun with that, kinda busy!', Lori called back, leapfrogging over him to avoid the cards, then kicking the boxes away to make him fall on his face.
'Fuck! I was NOT prepared for an actual fight! This is a psychological torture session, you insolent brat!', Hocus Pocus cried, trying to get up but struggling under his magician cape.
'Been there, done that, got the T-Shirt.', Lori cried back, running towards the pulley.
'Oh, no you don't!', Hocus Pocus pulled himself together and took out his pen that was secretly a gun.
BANG! BANG!
Two bullets raced towards Lori, but instead of panicking or getting all self harm like, Lori focused and did something clever.
She let the bullets hit the pulley.
Then, almost in the blink of an eye, she leaped onto the stage and challenged Hocus Pocus. 'Na na na, you can't get me!'. She blew a raspberry and laughed mockingly.
'Oh, I will gladly saw you in half, you…', Hocus Pocus went back onto the stage to grab Lori, only to see her point up cheekily. Looking up, he realized what had happened.
The rope on the pulley had just snapped thanks to the bullets.
'Shit.'
CRACK!
The golden cage smacked him on the head, nearly knocking the man unconscious.
'WOO HOO!', Skelly cried. Guardian, meanwhile, was uncharacteristically silent.
'A thank you, a thank you.', Lori 'bowed', giggling, before leaning down to grab the cage. She looked inside, catching the eyes of the petrified rabbit.
'Hey there, lil guy.', she whispered, the rabbit still hiding from the knife.
Lori cooed, taking the knife out gently. 'Don't worry, you'll be out in no time. Just stay calm. Deep breaths.'
The rabbit followed suit as Lori removed the knife. He flinched at the sight of her hand, but her soothing voice and even softer hand pet him to peace. Scooping him out carefully, she held him like a baby, nearly rocking him. 'There, there. I'm here. I'll make sure you…'
STRIKE!
A card struck Lori on the cheek, causing her to back off, now bleeding from the cut. When she got back to her feet, she saw the Rabbit was no longer in her arms, but…
In the arms of Hocus Pocus, now pointing the pen at the rabbit!
'Well… Isn't this a… Familiar situation?', Hocus Pocus pointed out, making everyone else in the room gasp.
'I don't know much about you, or The Guardian… But I know that for whatever reason, both of you were really affected by that shooting a couple of months ago. Poor, poor little Lincoln Loud.', Hocus chuckled darkly as he put the pen real close to the Rabbit's legs, the rabbit staring at Lori in abject fright. 'Tell me… Ms. Loud… Do you ever dream of stopping it? Of preventing it from ever happening? Did you even get to see it? Your greatest failure?'
Lori choked up, eyes wide and teary. She seemed visibly shaken, like she could faint and throw up and die all at the same time. She tried to open her mouth but she couldn't. She was doing EXACTLY what The Guardian had said she always did.
'...How about a reenactment?', Hocus Pocus laughed uproariously, edging towards the pen tip to shoot…
PULL!
The carpet pulled out of his feet, Hocus stumbled, distracted just enough for Lori to grab the rabbit. That left the armed magician, but Lori had a solution for that. ''Skelly! Use your head!'
'HA! YES!', Skelly cheered at the pun, and with a rocking motion, yeeted his head at Hocus Pocus, knocking him down senseless again.
'Thank you.', Lori said sweetly as she grabbed the pen and broke it in half, dropping the bullets to the floor like tiny drops of hail.
'No… I have much to improve…', Hocus Pocus muttered sadly, as Lori placed the bunny on a chair and patted his head, the rabbit sighing happily from the action.
Releasing Skelly and The Guardian, once more giving the former his head back, Lori stared seriously at her other self, rousing up courage. 'You said I keep letting the guilt hold us back. I know that's true. I accept that, and I wish I didn't. But I can put it aside, see?'
Guardian said nothing, darkly staring.
'I know, I nearly froze. But I didn't!', Lori pointed out, fighting her point. 'I put aside my feelings, my pain, just like I did last time I faced this prick! And I get it, Raven has to be stopped. But our job IS saving people. If we let them go, we hurt Lincoln again. We create more victims, and the cycle returns.'
Guardian still said nothing. Skelly stepped forwards, concerned. 'Guardian, please, answer.'
Lori choked back tears as she held herself. 'I'm sorry, okay? I know we're not the best superhero we can be because of me. I wish I didn't hurt you like this. But I can try! I can be useful! Maybe it's not too…'
WHOOSH!
Suddenly, The Guardian ran past, and Lori and Skelly turned around, startled.
What they saw shocked them even more.
The Guardian didn't speak, she didn't banter, she barely even emoted outside of pure, blind rage. She just picked Hocus Pocus up, who was barely coherent, and started beating the life out of him.
POW! She broke his nose with her right fist, sending blood splattering all over the room.
BANG! She sent a tooth flying with a left kick, clinking off the wall.
SMASH! She headbutted him, scrunching up his face, more blood spread all over the floor.
'WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!', Lori screamed in terror, running towards Guardian. Skelly, terrified, ran too, waving his arms for her to stop.
WHAM! SOCK! BIFF! Pounding away like a maniac, Guardian hit Hocus Pocus over and over, before picking him up and throwing him at a wall. Flying like a bullet, she smashed into the wall with him, then threw him up into the air and smacked him up to the roof, waiting for him to fall onto the ground.
'NO! HE'S ALREADY BEEN BEATEN!', Lori shrieked, somehow grabbing him before he broke his legs. The man was clearly unconscious now, and Lori checked his pulse. Alive.
'WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!', Lori cried, before gasping in fear, shaking like a leaf on a windy day, her blood running cold.
Staring down at her was The Guardian, but her fists were traced in blood. Her eyes were so dark Lori could barely see, outside of a faint red, and her G symbol was blood stained too. Lifting Lori up by the neck, choking her, Guardian finally spoke, in the strangled strained growls of a wild animal.
'I COULD HAVE BEEN A HERO! WE COULD HAVE BEEN A HERO! BUT YOU LET LINCOLN GET SHOT! YOU LET YOUR GUILT CONTROL US! NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE MADE ME DO!
Lori felt her life flash before her eyes as she saw a version of herself she didn't recognize. A version she feared.
'PUT IT ASIDE? I HEARD THAT YOU SAY THAT CRAP WHEN WE FOUGHT THIS GUY THE FIRST TIME! LOOK HOW LONG THAT LASTED! WE COULD HAVE STOPPED THE RAVEN BY NOW!'
She squeezed tighter and whispered at the fearful Lori.
'But now I get it. My real enemy this whole time was you. So if you're not gonna move on…'
The Guardian readied a punch.
'I WILL!'
BANG!
Burn it all, he had said. Burn every trace of the plan, so that no one could find it. So that no one could expose him.
He hadn't asked any of his other associates. Far more competent people were available.
He had asked him. He had asked Clive. His son.
His accident prone, distracted, screw up, weakling song.
Inside the security room, where cameras showcased all that had happened, Clive had only now witnessed the escaping Guardian and Lori ('No idea what that is all about. Maybe I'm having frozen yogurt withdrawal hallucinations') and the arriving Lyberti and flying squirrel robot ('They shouldn't be here, it's dangerous!').
How much of the plan they had seen, he didn't know. But he hadn't seen them use any cameras, and the fire would take care of the evidence.
There was just one other problem.
Bertrand, his father, had also asked for a USB containing the plan, so that he could use it for the final steps once he was elected. Logical, sound, something even he could get right (which had been a massive relief for him after all his recent failures. Being benched for this long and undergoing further intense training sessions was really getting to him).
But something was bothering Clive Tetherby, the supposedly fearsome and imposing Mr. Stone.
As he stared at the simple USB, red and black, with a single letter 'D' on it for "Dad", Bertrand couldn't help but wonder.
The screen showcased the two Lori's, sitting somewhere, talking. Clive thought back to a few hours ago, when she had shown him kindness and compassion he didn't think he deserved, and she rejected his.
How pained she was. How torn, how alone. How much she seemed to be disgusted by the emptiness that was herself.
How relatable that all was.
And yet, still, she gave him her heart when it was smashed into smithereens.
Clive clutched the USB. All his life, his father had told him of how badly he wanted to save the city. Over the years, Clive had been trained to help the mission, berated for all the mistakes, and run through the wringer to stop those mistakes.
Finally, at the homestretch, he could provide a serious contribution.
Yet…
'...What if she's right? What if… What if I should just leave this, help her stop him, and… And then…'
But no. He couldn't betray his father! The man who had saved him, kept him alive, tried to perfect him! No, he couldn't do that, never in a million years!
Still…
Clive sighed. 'I guess that's another thing we share, Ms. Lori.'
He shook his head, lost in the woods of his life, a fork in the road and he didn't even have a scrap of a map. 'We just don't know.'
Well, usually his intuitions were wrong. His father had made him remember that CLEARLY. Bertrand looked at the red marks on his body and nodded. 'I must be wrong. And by that, I must stay with dad, then.'
Sadly, he buried the USB in his pocket. 'I just wish I could help Ms. Lori too.'
Suddenly…
WHAM!
'GUARDIAN, WE ARE HERE TO…', Lyberti started, hollering a battle cry, only to bounce off of Clive's large (now standing) body. 'Oh, wow, that tickles!', Clive belly laughed.
'...Save you?', Lyberti trailed off, confused. The robot squirrel entered now too, staring around in confusion.
'Lyberti, where's The Guardian?', Lisa's voice rang out.
'I don't know.', Lyberti shrugged.
Clive looked around, conflicted. What was he supposed to do? Kick them out? He didn't wanna hurt nobody. Maybe if he took them to The Guardian, she could just take them out? She was supposed to escape by now surely. 'Um…'
He turned away from the screens, no longer blocking them with his size. 'She's not far from here. I think you took a wrong turn.'
Lisa looked at the tracker to confirm that yes, they had taken the wrong turn.
But then, she saw something she really shouldn't have.
While she was a tad confused by what seemed like two Lori's, one thing mattered: Both looked hurt. BADLY. Blood, bruises, scratches, cuts. They stood up, but barely, seemingly struggling to not collapse to the floor.
Whichever one was her big sister, she was everything Lisa had demanded she wouldn't be. 'If I had just taken the right…', Lisa started, but her ego, her fragile self-composed of the fears of a 4-year-old girl, took over the brain that was usually far more developed.
'I knew I shouldn't have trusted you! Look what you've done!', Lisa suddenly cried, the robot going up to Lyberti and ranting angrily. Lyberti stared aghast at the display. 'She's hurt now because of you!'
'Be…Because of me?!', Lyberti shouted back, outraged. She stood up and picked the robot up, shaking it to bring some sense back to the pint-sized genius. 'Have you lost your MARBLES?! YOU ASKED ME TO PICK THE TURN! WHY DIDN'T YOU READ THE TRACKER?!'
Lisa, however, had no time for logic, as she tried very hard not to cry in front of the girl. 'WELL, IF YOU HADN'T TAKEN SO MUCH TIME EARLIER! AT THE SCHOOL, AT THE LASER GRID! IF YOU HAD JUST FOLLOWED MY INSTRUCTIONS, WE'D HAVE REACHED HER BY NOW!'
'NO, DON'T PIN THIS ON ME!', Lyberti cried, half angry half afraid. 'I HAVEN'T FAILED HER AGAIN, SHE… SHE HEALS QUICK, WE CAN STILL… AND BESIDES, I GOT US THROUGH! IF YOU WOULD JUST WORK TOGETHER WITH ME INSTEAD OF BOSSING ME AROUND, WE'D BE FINE!'
'Girls, girls, please, don't fight!', Clive tried to play peacekeeper, but the two girls kept snarling at each other.
'IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S HURT!', they both shouted at each other, only for the lights to suddenly turn off, startling all three.
'And now, it's your fault you caught my attention…Thank you, I ENJOY taking enemies of the future into detention…', came out the creepy robotic voice of one the girls didn't recognize, but Clive knew as Organized Chaos…
And so, he was the first to scream…
A little before that…
BANG!
A massive clobber thwacked Lori square in the face, as if she had just been up smashed in real life. Sent careening through the sky, Lori skidded as she hit the ground, messing up the red carpet. Dazed from just that one strike, she put a hand to her face and pulled it back to reveal a gushing crimson similar to the color of the carpet. If her nose hadn't been broken before, it sure was now.
Barely able to hold her head up, Lori craned her neck and blurrily saw The Guardian, covered in shadows, step over the faint body of Hocus Pocus. Her fists seemed to keep pumping down, like she was gearing up machinery, and her cape now seemed large and imposing, a crooked shape that reached towards Lori with malicious intent.
'I'M DONE PLAYING THIS GAME, LORI!', Guardian shouted authoritatively, the pained wails of a beast in a trap. With a big stomp, she caused the metal floor to shake so much that Lori catapulted into the air.
CRACK! A big boot to the face propelled Lori backwards, where she now hit a wall, cracking it slightly from the force of entry. A bruise was forming on her left cheek.
Yet, she didn't beg for mercy. She didn't even desire it.
Guardian, gnashing teeth, picked Lori up by the shirt and flew up, dangling her above the floor. She began to fly in circles, spinning the poor teen. 'ROUND AND ROUND AND ROUND WE GO…'
The dizzy Lori coughed up blood that struck Guardian's face, forming what looked like tear stains. The blood stains already on Guardian's costume and face seemed to trickle down, turning black. 'WHERE DO WE STOP…'
Guardian's face struck Lori's, staring into her sad, pathetic eyes.
'THANKS TO YOU, AFTER HITTING A NEW LOW!'
SLAM! Lori was spun like a boomerang onto the floor, causing a dent in the floor.
Guardian landed with a thud, causing her own dent, and kept on her ranting and raving. 'GET UP!'
Reluctantly, Lori did so.
SWIPE! Guardian swiped Lori's legs from beneath her, sending her tumbling down onto the floor. Lori now had cuts above her eyes from that, and horrible shoulder and back pain. She could barely stand.
'GET UP!', came the call regardless, Guardian's costume slowly turning a different color, the tear stains circling her eyes.
Lori followed suit once more.
JAB! BOFF! JAB! BOFF! JAB! BOFF! Boxer strikes pummeled Lori's cheeks, before an uppercut sent her flying, and a roundhouse kick sent her back down to the ground.
More bruising now, and her jaw may have been dislodged. Lori painfully wept out 'I'm sorry…', immeasurable pain coursing through her mouth.
'GET UP!', Guardian screamed, echoes through the hall reverberating and hurting Lori's ears.
Lori tried to. She really did.
But she stumbled, tripped, and fell down on her back, continuing to sob. 'I'm sorry.', she wheezed out.
'Just like I said. Weak.'
The Guardian, now totally adorned in a black costume that looked terrifying, not inspiring, went down to her knees and began pounding away at Lori.
'LOOK AT WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO ME! I'M FIGHTING LIKE AN ANIMAL! IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT? FOR THIS TO BE OUR FUTURE?!', Guardian bellowed, pounding and pounding away, black eyes forming on Lori.
'WHY WON'T YOU JUST MOVE ON? WHY WON'T YOU JUST LET GO?!', Guardian continued, tears and blood mixing together to create a pool of regret.
The hero finally broke down and screamed, so hard it nearly drove Lori into the ground.
'WHY CAN'T I JUST TRY TO BE GOOD?!'
Finally, Skelly, who had been paralyzed by fear, knowing he couldn't really do anything, decided that that didn't matter. He had to try.
'Guardian, please, this isn't the way…', he tried, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.
But so blinded by rage Guardian was, she instinctively reacted with a backhand strike that sent Skelly flying onto a wall, his skull, arms, and legs falling off.
And that woke something up in the hurt and nearly faint Lori.
Call it instinct, call it reflex, call it her heart and soul.
But suddenly, Lori acted from her most pure aspect, no matter how hard she'd deny it to be true:
Love.
In a flash, she grabbed Guardian's descending strike. The hero gasped as Lori reared a fist back, one eye closed.
'No.', was the simple declaration.
BANG! Up into the air Guardian went, spinning towards the opposite wall.
Lori breathed heavily, wondering why Guardian seemed to be so far away, when she realized.
She was flying again.
And when she felt her face, she was nowhere near as hurt. Still marked, but she was… Healing!
'What…', Lori questioned, deathly confused. 'But that doesn't make sense! I'm… I'm the non-powered side, the Lori side! The guilt!', she continued, squinting and puzzling about the matter.
'It all makes sense now…', Skelly's skull muttered in pain, as Guardian angrily removed herself from the wall and pounded her palms. 'Guardian's mood swings, your ability in battle, your true mutual agreement. Lori, the split wasn't of powers.'
Lori stared at Skelly, ignoring the rampaging Guardian who charged her like a bull.
'You're both the guilty parts! You're external, she's internal!'
Lori turned back to face Guardian, and, determined, charged at her too.
WHAM!
The force of the impact sent both flying backwards into the walls they had struck before.
'It doesn't have to be like this, me!', Lori declared, trying to cap the battle off.
'It's you or everyone else. Easiest decision in the world!', Guardian retorted, now flight charging at Lori.
Taking a deep breath, Lori ran forwards at Guardian, and jumped up, somersaulting in the air in order to…
Grab The Guardian's cape!
'Shit.', Guardian cursed, as Lori's now forward momentum helped her hurl Guardian onto the floor, face first.
'Two can play that game!', Guardian choked out, and with a slide across the floor, she whacked Lori off her feet, sending her down to her knees.
Going to the back of her, she grabbed her cape and pulled, tugging so hard it began to choke Lori.
'GIVE UP! LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO!', Guardian demanded, choking and choking, making Lori grow purple in the face, neck clenching from disability to breath.
'YOU… ARE… GIVING… UP… ON… CLIVE!', Lori barely managed to reply, as she slowly and surely stood up, loosening the choke hold. With a surprisingly impressive pirouette, she spun like a top and struck Guardian with her outstretched fists, making her dizzy. 'Helping Lola train for pageants, that move. And this? Lana wrestles alligators. I may have remembered a thing or two.'
WHAM! Lori flew up and elbow slammed Guardian down to the floor, pinning her hard.
'IF WE DON'T STOP THE RAVEN, WE'RE LETTING THE ROBBER GO AGAIN! WE'RE SHOOTING LINCOLN AGAIN!', Guardian argued back, lifting Lori off of her from her resting position, then headbutting her away, sending Lori tumbling back onto one of the stray boxes Hocus left.
The Guardian rushed her, but Lori stood up and entered the skies again. Guardian followed, but Lori cupped her face and struck her into a wall, cracking it. 'IF WE JUST LEAVE PEOPLE BEHIND FOR THE BIGGER PICTURE, THAT'S LETTING THE ROBBER GO AGAIN! THAT'S SHOOTING LINCOLN AGAIN!'
Guardian used both elbows to send Lori back, then cupping her face, yeeted her down to the ground, hard.
Both fists clenched, Guardian, now bleeding hard, bruised all over too, flew down to strike Lori in the chest, her face back to being super hurt again.
But Lori was quicker, and utilizing a bakasana yoga position, kicked her legs back to strike Guardian in the face. Then transitioning into a downward dog, Lori lifted herself with her arms, and back flipped onto Guardian, smashing her in the chest.
Pushing Lori off of her only got her back up, so Guardian raised a right fist to uppercut her jaw again. Lori responded with a left arm block.
Lori then tried a right arm strike, but Guardian's left arm blocked.
Arms practically interlocked, the two tried to headbutt each other, but the mutual headbutt sent both falling backwards, and they struggled to get to their feet.
They were now physically and mentally exhausted, barely able to trade blows.
'Stop…', The Guardian cried, right jab.
'Stop…', Lori cried, left jab.
Right jab. Left jab. Right jab. Left jab.
Finally, Lori missed one out of pure exhaustion, and Guardian struck her just enough to send her timbering like a tree.
Down on the ground, Guardian once again tried to pound away at Lori.
But something was different this time.
The tears and blood mixing together on Lori created enough of a reflection, and The Guardian could see herself.
Her black costume, her blood tears, her dark symbol.
A literal shadow of her former self.
Trying to ignore, she attempted a big downward smash with both fists. 'You… You just… Why can't you…'
Guardian began to stammer, her fists growing weak. 'Why can't I…'
She began to blubber. 'Why can't we…'
And finally, she began to sob. Dropping her fists, she instead cupped her face and cried, a cry that had been held back for a long, long time.
'Why couldn't we have just been good?'
Collapsing onto Lori, the two rolled off on the floor, breathing heavily, hurt beyond recognition.
Lori stared at Guardian. Guardian stared back. Both didn't need to speak, as they observed each other's tears.
'Oh, Lori. My poor, poor friend. Now I finally understand the depth of your tragedy.'
The two girls stared up at Skelly, who was still lying on the floor, his body parts spread around him. Despite her pain, Lori forced herself to crawl over to his skull, her jagged cut fingers trying to be soft for him. 'Skelly… I'm so sorry, I…'
'No, Lori. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to see a heart with this much capacity for kindness lay shattered on the floor.'
Skelly's voice grew weak, his visage faint. Lori swore she could see him mix in with the light. 'Seems like my time's nearly up here. I guess we're… Really boned.', Skelly tried a joke, hesitantly almost. Lori chuckled warmly however, tear beads hanging off her eyes like her earrings. 'I guess so.'
One of Skelly's hands crawled towards Lori, cupping her chin. 'Lori… You and The Guardian, you are both on a one-way ticket towards disaster. Right now you are like this, carrying your guilt and self-resentment inside, letting this wound fester inside you like a forest fire.'
His eyes still contained that golden glow, shining brighter than ever as he spoke to her. 'And there are only so many trees you can burn before you start to choke on the flames roaring inside you.'
'What do I do?', Lori asked, sounding so lost, like a little girl looking for her parents.
'Simple. You forgive yourself.', Skelly replied. 'You move on. You let go. You can't change the past, Lori. You can't stop the robber from shooting Lincoln, you can't uncripple him. You can only try and change the future, and pave a new, better road. One where you could continue doing this crazy, wonderful thing, of putting on a costume to guard others because you love. One where you could try again.'
Lori looked down, and then up, with a mixture of shame and resignation. 'I don't know if I can. I don't know If I deserve to.'
Skelly sighed, caressing her face. 'I know, Lori. But it is the only way. You can't save others if you can't save yourself. Only then can you soar.'
Lori, however, felt like a broken bird with clipped wings. Skelly wiped her tears away gently, seeing a burning, beautiful, blue glow inside her that she couldn't. Lori's soul, spirit, truth.
'I'm sorry I'm letting you down. Not the best spirit guide student, I guess.', Lori apologized genuinely, still looking like an ashamed little girl.
Skelly looked at her, knowing he only had a few more moments left, and hoped he could leave a lasting impression. If not now, then at least later, in the future.
'Let me just tell you one thing, Lori.'
Focusing all his remaining spirit energy, he managed to catch the thoughts of one connected to Lori's spirit: Lincoln. The boy's thoughts suddenly came out of the now awake bunny's mouth, staring at Lori and wrinkling its nose.
'Why was she so sad? Was it something I did? Was it just the pressure of being a hero, of college? Lori, please, whatever it is that's bothering you, that's made you sad… I'm here for you. I love you, no matter what.'
Lori gasped silently, lip trembling. She reached out to the rabbit and pet it, whispering 'I love you too, Lincoln. More than my own life.'
She stared back at Skelly, who was now faint like a vision, disappearing. 'He believes in you. I believe in you. Lyberti and Lisa and Clive and tons of other people believe in YOU, Lori.'
'...Why?', she asked, eyes closed.
Skelly reached out. 'Because we can feel your heart.', he touched her heart, emitting a blue glow. Lori looked down, startled, before looking back up at Skelly.
Smiling fondly, he waved and disappeared, echoing 'Can you?'
Lori sat there for a few moments, breathing slowly. She then slowly gathered herself and stood up, finding herself face to face with the very silent and somber Guardian.
Both tried to speak, but couldn't, opening their mouths, then closing them.
It seemed for a while like nothing could move them.
Then…
'HELP!'
The scream, shrill and scared and heart wrenching, broke the barriers of sound and reached both Lori's, the two flinching from the sound in pain. Unblocking her ear with her finger, Lori declared 'Someone's in trouble! Come on, if we fuse back, we'll get there faster! These aren't exactly running shoes, yeowch!', she commented, wincing at her footwear. 'That, and they just don't fit the ATMOSPHERE.'
Guardian raised an eyebrow.
'Hey, I might be traumatized, depressed and down in the dumps, but I'm ALWAYS fashion first!', Lori joked with a silly grin, so infectious that The Guardian couldn't help but grin back a little.
She shook her head however. 'Lori, we don't have time for whatever that is. Our job is to stop The Raven! It might already be too late as it is!'
Lori face palmed, lip burbling like a very annoyed horse. 'OMG, me! How do you not understand that this is EXACTLY our job?'
Guardian crossed her arms, fiercely determined to convince Lori, though harboring clear hesitation. 'I know… I know that, but… Lori, you know how many Lincolns we could create if we don't stop him from winning the election?'
Lori stared fiercely back, standing her ground, keeping her cool. 'I know that we WILL create Lincolns if we don't go see what that scream was about.'
Guardian was silenced by that, biting her knuckle as she mulled the matter. Another scream pierced their hearts, and both gave each other knowing looks.
'...All right. I know, I know you're right. I can't not go. But… How will we beat Raven?'.
'I mean, a few punches, a few kicks, maybe some of those moves we did earlier, a quip or two…', Lori answered, weirded out by the simple question.
'No! I mean… How will we do it? Look at us, Lori! We're a guilty, depressed, heartbroken ghost! Every time we take a step forward we take two back, and even when we learn our lesson, we still hate ourselves so much that we can't just do the mission! If Tetherby wins the election, we'll have to face him, Barbed Wire, Organised Chaos, Hocus Pocus, maybe even Mr. E and Stone! The police, his robots, maybe even the people! In our state… What hope does Royal Woods have?', Guardian explained, looking as lost as Lori did a few moments ago.
Lori then did the hardest thing she had to do all day: She comforted herself.
Sympathy shimmering in her eyes, she patted Guardian on the shoulders, rousing every ounce of strength and determination inside of her.
'Listen… I know. You're right. We've struggled, badly. And we will keep struggling. But if I've learned one thing? It's that I can't… I WON'T abandon my responsibility.'
The Guardian looked up at Lori, listening intently.
'I CAN put it aside. I CAN do better. This is more important than my stupid feelings. Royal Woods needs me, and like how I saved the kidnapped kids, I'll save the city from Raven, no matter how hard and sad and broken I get. I'll fight until I LITERALLY can't fight any longer.'
'...That doesn't solve the future. Sure, maybe we can do it because of how BIG this is. But doesn't Royal Woods, doesn't Lincoln deserve a better hero than this?', Guardian asked, tears flickering as she breathed hard.
Lori took a deep breath, and closed her eyes. She could see her only good dream from this topsy turvy day. Holding onto it like it were the most priceless treasure, Lori came to a horrible yet oddly calming realization.
'This is the only way to make up for it… Isn't it?', she whispered, accepting her self made stab in the heart.
'What is?', Guardian asked, eyebrow cocked.
Lori, biting her cheek, paced around her other self. '...Well… TOTALLY spitballing here, ya know…'
'No, I don't.', Guardian pressed her on.
Lori kept her gaze away, processing the words the same time she said them. 'Well… This isn't just some mission, some promise to save the city… It's a battle… Once we beat Raven… I mean, we know he has a sort of cure, that makes me weak. And… My confidence after all that struggle to put this guilt aside and save the town… It's gonna be as low as the hardest level of a limbo, or Lynn's grades.'
'Mmm hmm…', Guardian murmured, listening.
'...I'm just saying… Raven or one of his associates… They could get so angry once I beat them, or as I am beating them… Knowing that we maybe convinced some people, like Captain Griffin, like that wolf guy, Clive, to do a better job at this whole guarding the town thing…'
Lori's voice turned quiet, but steadfast. 'I mean, they could very well try and shoot us.'
She then turned around, staring at the shocked Guardian with such clear honesty that there was no doubting her intent. '...And maybe I'll find it hard to move out of the way.'
Guardian stared at her for a few moments, contemplating it. The perfect ending, where their responsibility is kept, where the city has a better hero, where they get their suitable punishment.
And she nodded. 'Maybe indeed.'
Looking at where the original screams had come from, Lori and The Guardian both knew what had to be done. What they wanted to do.
'Okay. I accept.', Guardian said, sticking her hand out.
Lori smiled heroically and took it. 'Come on. Let's do something right for once in our lives.'
They shook hard, and a blinding blue light burst…
'HELP!', Lyberti screamed, as Organized Chaos finished detaining her, the flying squirrel robot and Clive onto chairs. Their metallic straps kept them in place, as the cyborg lady smirked maliciously. 'Screaming won't help you, little girl! You and your friends are in for a whirl!'
'You're sadistic!', Lisa's voice rang out of the robot.
'I'm a patriot, honey. You first need a storm before it can be sunny.', she laughed in a sing song voice, before lifting her bow and arrow. 'You can join us in the light, or you can put up a fight.'
'NEVER!', Lyberti rejected, while Clive cried and Lisa worriedly glanced at her companions. She was safe back home. What about them? Who would save them?
Organized Chaos shrugged, and strung her arrow back, anticipating that twang sound…
'Hey…'
Everyone's heads swiveled as a flash of blue light finally stopped shining, the fusing process complete. Clive's mouth dropped, the robot squirrel gasped, Organized Chaos' eyes widened.
And Lyberti?
She had the biggest smile in the world.
Standing in the doorway, cape flowing, symbol glowing, blue eyes piercing through the dark eyeshadow, The Guardian forced herself to keep standing, keep moving, despite all the pain she felt in every single way, her legs nearly buckling under the effort.
And with all her heart in it, she gave a heroic smile that twinkled like her eyes.
'...That's not very nice, is it?'
'Ah, The Guardian! So you've finally reached me! I'll have you know, you're THIS close to…', Organized Chaos started, only to get walloped in the scree jaw, cracking it.
'In fact, that's not gucci, not based, and TOTALLY not red pilled! Ugh!', Guardian joked, eliciting some laughter from the hostages, who she flew over to free from their ropes. 'I'm so, so sorry this happened to you again. Are you okay? Do you need a therapist? I know a really good one, for the two of you.', she asked quietly, just in case that would embarrass them.
'I wouldn't mind that, actually.', Lyberti responded, but patted Guardian's hand. 'Don't worry, though, I'm okay. I came to save you!'
'WE did.', the robot corrected. Lyberti stuck a tongue out. Clive just sat quietly, looking away.
'We'll talk about THAT later.', Guardian said, making Lyberti and Lisa gulp. 'Now, out of here!'
The Guardian turned around and narrowed her eyes at Organized Chaos, who stumbled back to her feet.
'I've got some trash to take out.'
'Oh, how rich! Your trash talk is as clever as your stubborn ignorance of the purity of our mission, bitch!', Organized Chaos crowed, shooting a few arrows at Guardian, while the hostages ran away in fright.
Instead of blocking them, however, Guardian took the hits, the arrows sticking into her right shoulder and arm. 'NGL, girl, the rhyming schtick? It just doesn't work. Where did you get those from? Rhymezone?', she smirked at the cyborg. If Luna's words were to be trusted, this would REALLY piss her off.
Spoiler alert: It did. Organized Chaos shot out a few more arrows, and couldn't believe that Guardian tanked those as well, those sticking to her left shoulder and arm. 'STOP MOVING SO I CAN HIT YOUR FACE!', she screamed, but Guardian didn't care, and just tanked those with her legs.
'Okay, I'm prepared for this case. I know your weakness, what gets you blinkin'!', Organized Chaos grinned evilly. 'I bet you wish you could make it up to poor little Lincoln!'
The Guardian closed her eyes when she heard it. She took a deep, cleansing breath. Suddenly, she floated up, and Organized Chaos could swear she saw a blue aura around her.
'You're right.'
Guardian opened her eyes, and pulled all the arrows out of her in a blur, now all pointed at Organized Chaos, who looked speechless. 'This is how I make it up to him.'
'...Shit.'
CRACK!
30 arrows, 5 from each shoulder arm and leg, struck Organized Chaos, destroying her robot body.
Guardian landed by her body and stared down at her screen, which crackled like a broken TV. 'I have other bodies. We have it all planned, it's true. Soon there'll be many of us, and only one of you. Just give up, just join, make the sensible call.'
You could hear the voice grin. 'You know you can't save them a…'
SMASH!
Guardian's boot left the broken screen, glass shards dropping off of her laces.
'What did you say? You didn't finish!', she shouted back, pure resolve coursing through her veins. She had one hell of a day, and she wouldn't ignore its lesson.
She would fight to save this city until her final breath.
'And speaking of that… I think it's long overdue that I gave a certain birdbrain a visit.', Guardian said to herself, cracking a small smile. 'Heh. Quips. Gotta enjoy those small pleasures, at least.'
Then, she turned serious, determination filling her entire facial expression. 'Let's literally go.'
Psyching herself up, she pounded her fists, and cracked her head, ignoring the voice of guilt and depression, ignoring the flashing images of her dream, ignoring the fear and doubt and hate. Instead, she let her love guide her.
'LET'S. LITERALLY. GO!'
Flying faster than she had EVER flown before, The Guardian went out like a SHOT. She grabbed Lyberti, the robot squirrel and Clive and followed the tracker's routed map. The robots and maze and doors had no chance with her current power and mood. CRASH! CRASH! CRASH! They all went.
Wind streaking through her hair, the people in her arms holding on in a sort of shock, Guardian burst through the air, ripping through clouds, bypassing planes, nearly uprooting trees.
FWOOM! One could almost hear a sonic boom as The Guardian left Lyberti back in her bed, safe and sound. Lyberti was so phased and stunned that she only stirred when she could hear the news from downstairs bare out.
ZOOM! Next was the squirrel robot, that Guardian instantly recognized as Lisa. She left her at the Loud House without sparing a second glance, so fast she had to be.
BOOM! Now for sure there was a sonic boom, as The Guardian carried Clive like a weightless kitten as she flew harder and faster and further, one fist aimed forwards, one target in her mind's eye: City hall.
'Come on…', she thought, the night stars shining off her cape.
'COME ON…', she uttered, the moonlight shimmering off her face.
'COME ON!', she screamed, a primal scream of pure drive as she nearly crash landed at the site, leaving the thankfully safe Clive at the top of the building, instructing him to go down the stairs.
Looking back, she saw a podium! That's where he had to be!
A swoop into the sky, then a loud superhero landing, and The Guardian rose up, cape and dust billowing in the wind, arms on her hips, eyes glowing. 'EVERYONE! I HAVE SOMETHING SUPER IMPORTANT TO TELL YOU!', The Guardian said in her heroic, declarative voice. There it was, she just had to…
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
'...Fireworks?', Guardian thought, staring up to confirm the presence of the colorful explosions. Red, white, blue and brown painted her face. Blinking eyes caught the crowd, all jumping up and down, holding up signs and pictures of and about Tetherby. Confetti strung the air and happy pop music surrounded her ears like a military execution. Purple lighting mixed in with the fireworks to create an alien atmosphere.
Staring to the side in shock and dismay, Guardian saw him. Bertrand Tetherby. The Raven. With his outfit and hat and cane.
Only now there was a sash around his clothes.
"Mayor".
March 21st: Election Night Aftermath.
'Why, if it isn't our beloved town hero, The Guardian! Everyone, as your mayor, I request we give a warm hand to Royal Wood's very own superhero, The Guardian!', Bertrand announced cheerfully, and the town applauded, but only some. Others seemed reserved, hesitant, even afraid.
Guardian received the answer as Bertrand suddenly closed in on her face, offering his hand. She refused to take it. 'It seems that for some, seeing a physics breaking impossibility such as yourself is frightening. Perhaps a little reassurance would help. Like how The Guardian is here to save the city. With me.'
Guardian stared him down, at his face struggling to hide the relief, the near glee. She felt disgust creep up to her face, anger burn inside her stomach. 'I'll tell them everything. EVERYTHING.'
'Oh, go right ahead!', he invited cordially, pointing his head at the crowd. 'Tell them about how their mayor is a secret criminal mastermind with a cyborg, a magician themed serial killer, an electric person, a werewolf, and a robot army. Tell them that your evidence for my involvement in the kidnappings and attacks are from an extremely reliable 14 year old working at a school paper. I'm sure they'll lock me right up.', he smirked. 'And you can't bag me for cheating. I didn't. And you know I wouldn't lie to you about that, now don't you?'
Guardian opened her mouth…
And closed it.
'I DON'T have any evidence. No pictures, no recordings, nothing. My injuries all healed, and my witnesses… The less said the better.', she realized, slowly, horror encapsulating her being. She began to shake and shiver, feeling dizzy.
'Feeling a little faint? A little lost? Like the only thing keeping you alive has been RIPPED out of your soul, and you're scrambling for air?', Tetherby asked, before letting out a cold, furious hiss. 'Welcome to my world.'
Suddenly, he turned around, and began delivering a speech in his new, authoritative and fake mayor voice, one that felt warm to others but chilled Guardian to the bone. 'Now, The Guardian has truly been a hero to us all! She has saved countless of us, risking her life for our sake! As Mayor of Royal Woods, we thank the depth of your heart from the bottom of ours!'
Even the reluctant clapped alongside the adoring crowd, struggling to deny her success in saving many lives in the city. The Guardian sheepishly smiled and waved, too stunned to think about the praise.
Bertrand shifted to the core of his speech. 'But, I think we can ALL agree that the recent tragedies and catastrophes we've endured and survived are too much! We cannot just stand by the side and let the slings and sallies of misfortune threaten our homes, our families!'
The crowd roared to that, a buzzing noise that made Guardian jump a little. She kept staring around, fearing a panic attack. There were a LOT of police men, seemingly keeping tabs on the defeated and gloomy Mayor Volte. There was Captain Griffin, looking both relieved and conflicted. Security robots stood behind the stage, all staring at The Guardian.
All armed.
Bertrand then waved his arms at Guardian. 'Now, while I would rather we DIDN'T have to ask a teen vigilante for help, I propose that thanks to the increase in dangerous enemies to our freedom and democracy, we turn to The Guardian for help!'
Again, the crowd sang. Again, Guardian jumped. 'What's his play? He knows I literally said no to that shit.', she thought, scratching her chin.
'She could help us incriminate the corrupt!'
'YES!', cried out the poor people of the industrial district, jumping up and down like crazy.
'She could help us fight those leeches who steal because they want, instead of those of us who have had to resort to it by need!'
'YES!', cried those of the Fox's Den, waving their signs with intent.
'She could help defend this city alongside our new and improved police force, as an ally rather than some stranger enforcing her justice on us!'
'YES!', cried the reluctant members of the audience, happy to hear that.
'We would not have to arrest her, we would not have to deprive ourselves of such a selfless citizen with a heart of gold!'
Captain Griffin looked down, still a face full of uncertainty.
'I ask you, Guardian, do you agree? Will you help us, help me…'
The Raven smiled serenely as he turned to her, arm outstretched, knowing he had every card in his sleeve.
'...Save… The City?'
'So THAT'S his plan!', Guardian realized, face turning pale.
Either she joined in his horrible plan, thus agreeing to his atrocities, thus abandoning all responsibility for some mad twisting of justice and safety…
Or she would be a fugitive. That's why he said all those things about her being a vigilante, about not having to arrest her.
'It's your choice, Lori.', Bertrand whispered, still offering his hand. Quietly, he added 'Come on.', hoping, begging for her to see the light. How he wanted to believe in her.
The Guardian faced a crossroads. Closing her eyes, she tried to see what was the right thing to do, what felt right for her heart. If Skelly was so right about that, then now was the time to prove it. What did her so-called heart think?
How easy it would be to take this. To ignore the consequences and the pain for what could become justice.
But Lori Loud KNEW what ignoring consequences meant, what being this selfish and tunnel visioned and desperate to be right meant.
She knew how hard this would be.
'Like I said before… I'm gonna do something right for once in my life.', The Guardian whispered back to him.
Grabbing the mic, she simply replied 'No.'
The crowd was in shock. Some booed, others just laid there speechless. Captain Griffin herself could barely believe it, and seemed betrayed, yet also still torn.
'I thought you were here to save the city!', one person cried.
'I am!', Guardian defended herself, sounding panicky and desperate. She tried to calm herself down as she felt a thousand eyes on her, news cameras tracking her.
'Yet you reject our mayor's proposal? What, are you above the law? Are you really just some irresponsible vigilante?', Katherine Mulligan asked, her own mic in hand. Mark the cameraman gulped in dismay, wishing it wasn't so.
Guardian shook her head, but knew it was a losing battle. 'No, of course not!'
'Then why?', pretty much everyone asked.
Guardian gulped in the defeat, accepting her fate, her chosen battle.
'...I can't explain why. Not yet. But I swear on my life, I am trying to save all of you.'
The boo's sharpened, but Bertrand suddenly took the mic. 'Now, hold on, everyone! Let's not forget all The Guardian has done for us! She's a true hero!'
He then turned, as if speaking only to The Guardian. 'But even heroes make mistakes. If you can't accept our rules, then how do we know you're not a threat? How do we know you're even human?'
Louder jeers, and Guardian saw signs get thrown at her. She narrowly dodged them, breathing heavier now, fear in her eyes.
Bertrand was now full of passion, his eyes piercing into Guardian's soul. She saw now the unstoppable force in him.
'I would rather you joined us. You still can. But I cannot let you run around, undermining our authority. I will speak with the Commissioner and the judges, and if things go according to normal protocol…'
Bertrand narrowed his eyes, sending a dagger into her heart. 'Then in two days from now, The Guardian is wanted for arrest by the city of Royal Woods, Michigan, for vigilante activity.'
The Guardian gasped audibly, and tripped on her cape, falling down on her butt.
'We would still of course welcome you to our services, even after that. Maybe this will teach you to listen to those in charge.'
The Guardian stared at Mayor Bertrand Tetherby. Mayor Bertrand Tetherby stared back at her.
'...I'm The Guardian. And I WILL save THEM from YOU.', The Guardian declared to him, just him, and with a fierce nod and a determined stare, she flew away, not giving in, not falling into despair.
Mayor Bertrand Tetherby stared back as the crowd cheered him, crying out his name. He smiled, feeling free, finally free for the first time in all his life.
'No matter.', he whispered, as he closed his eyes and basked in the opportunity of enacting his plan. There was a LOT of work to do, but…
'...I won.', he opened his eyes, a single happy tear rolling down and dropping onto the word "Mayor" on his sash.
To Be Continued… We have officially reached the halfway point of Season 1!
