Interlude
"Are you alright?"
Abby felt a slight tug on her arm, returning her attention to reality. She looked up at Asura and smiled, trying to keep her from worrying.
"I am," she said. "I just…" She couldn't hide it from her partner. "I have a headache." Asura's features turned to near panic immediately, and she stopped, forcing Abby to do the same.
"Should we go to the clinic?" She began, but Abby smiled and shook her head gently.
"Don't worry, it's got nothing to do with the melding." She suspected it had to do with the stress of the past couple of days. "Please don't worry."
She could see Asura worry. However, she mastered her fears and took a steadying breath. It gave Abby hope. Abby had woken up two days ago, and her plan seemed to have worked. Asura seemed to have pulled herself together a little, driven by the necessity to care for her. The fear remained in her eyes, but that empty darkness was gone. She told Abby she felt better; the void of emotions the reapers had left in her mind dissipated. Abby knew Asura would need a long time to process, but she could tell that Asura was on the road to recovery.
Taking the asari's hand, she prompted her to continue walking.
"I was given a clean bill of health," she said. "You know they won't let me go if they have concerns."
Asura nodded, though she didn't look convinced. "You don't have to open the clinic today," she said. "You can take another day to rest."
Abby asked her the same question she did that morning.
"And will that make you take a day off?"
The asari grimaced and shook her head. "You know I have a few meetings. All personal. They won't be taxing…"
Abby squeezed her hand. "And neither will working in the clinic." She brought Asura's hand to her lips and kissed it. "Unless you want me to join you?"
Asura looked embarrassed.
"It's going to be…" A batarian abruptly stormed between them, knocking them aside violently.
"Out of my way, human scum!" He snapped. Shocked, Abby made a grab for Asura, who looked ready to murder him.
"It's not worth it," she spoke quickly. "Asura, it's not worth it." Anger pulsed from her lover as she glared in the wake of the batarian's departure. Asura only relaxed when she saw him bump into a turian with equal disdain.
"I thought Aria would keep them out," she said. "She didn't want the refugees…" Abby shrugged and urged her to continue walking.
"Reality is he probably lives here," she pointed out. "The influx of Cerberus personnel over the past week has made everybody nervous. Don't worry about it."
Asura's eyes narrowed. "I thought Aria would keep a tighter hand on matters," she said. "Considering…"
Abby grimaced and shrugged. "Have you heard anything from her?"
Asura shook her head. "No," she said. "Not since I went to collect Kahlee Sanders." She paused. "Elaine came to enquire about your health, but Aria might not have sent her."
The veterinarian doubted this. Elaine was an acquaintance and pet owner. It might have simply been out of concern. She slipped her arm into the crook of Asura's elbow and continued their walk to her clinic.
"Now that the matter with Liselle is settled, things will return to normal." Abby pointed out. "It's been stressful, and Aria's been distracted. This asteroid is like a… barometer of her moods. It'll settle down." She smiled at Asura. "Don't be so worried. I can handle a little bit of discrimination. There's always been an undercurrent of it. Tensions are just a little higher than usual."
She felt Asura relax a little and was grateful for it. "Now, you were saying," Abby said. "Do you want me to join you for the day?"
Her partner hesitated, then smiled. "I guess… No. As I expect Aria to get a hold of herself, it's time for me to do the same. I will be alright, Abigail."
Abby believed it more than she did two days ago when she coerced Asura into melding with her. "Everybody's recovering," she said. "Jack told me she's safe at Grissom, as is Kahlee. Anderson seems to have gone back to Earth." Her stomach twisted a little. I hope he took my letter with him.
Asura nodded as they stopped in front of her clinic. Asura looked at the closed door, sighed, and cupped Abby's face.
"I don't deserve your patience with me over the past few days. Thank you for being my light." The emotion with which she said it brought tears to Abby's eyes as she reached out and brought Asura's lips to hers.
"If the day gets too much, come back here. We're taking this one day at a time, Asura."
"I know," her partner whispered after they kissed and caressed her face. "I'll see you tonight."
She left without another word, with Abby watching her departure. The urge to run after her came and went. Something she had learned in the past few days was how easy it was to want to shield someone from the world. She had shadowed Asura when she was released from the clinic, and even as she woke from her coma, she had continued to hover over the asari. She understood the darkness that consumed Asura. She had felt the empty echo of the reapers when they melded. She didn't allow Asura to see how much it had unsettled her.
They were coming; it was only a matter of time.
Sighing, she unlocked the door and went inside, flipping on the open sign to show she was in. With the irregular hours she kept, it was more important than a schedule.
"Grom!" she called. "I'm back!"
The light in the back was on. Her assistant and Oz, the clinic's three-legged varren, soon appeared. Abby put her back against the wall before she crouched down and opened her arms for the creature. He made soft, breathless sounds as he rubbed up against her. She'd have fallen over had she not braced herself as he was a heavy boy.
Grom hardly spared her a glance.
"Good," he said. "I go. No shopping. No tea!"
In all the turmoil of the past few days, she had forgotten to do her regular shopping rounds.
"That is a disaster," Abby said, trying not to sound amused. "Thank you, Grom, you have the credit…" She trailed off as he left and gave up on following him. She caressed the ridges on Oz's back and shook her head.
"I guess he has," she said to the varren. "Come on, help me up." The varren moved his hindquarters beside her and allowed her to use him to push herself up. He walked her to her tiny office, and the moment she put on her lab coat, he disappeared into the storeroom where his enclosure was. He had been with her long enough to understand her routine. Abby went to secure his pen before she returned to reception to see if there were any messages for her. Her erratic hours would have been a business death sentence in her previous life, but people were grateful for her contribution to Omega. Her regular clients also understood that she had some health challenges from time to time. It helped with their tolerance when she rescheduled appointments.
Still conscious of her headache, Abby sat down and pulled the datapad closer. She could not see any emergencies, so she pulled up her backlog of appointments and began to schedule them into her day. She had clients to call and one or two home visits…
Her clinic door opened, prompting her to look up.
Abby's heart sank a little when she saw who it was. She stood up, unsure what to do, as Aria T'Loak stepped in. She was immaculately dressed; her usual attire swopped for a flowing white dress. Surprisingly, she was alone and stopped in the middle of the reception, her gaze scanning the area.
"You should allow me to make some decoration suggestions, Dr Gable," she said by way of greeting. "Your establishment has become quite prestigious in the past couple of weeks. It should look that way."
Abby didn't know what to say. She looked around at her barren walls and shrugged.
"My patients don't care about that," she said. "And those who would have better places to go to."
Aria made a sound in the back of her throat. "With that attitude, you'll never become rich, Dr Gable," she pointed out. "But each to her own." She grew silent, which made Abby uneasy.
"Can I help you with anything?" she asked. "Or are you looking for Asura?"
Aria shook her head slightly. "No, Dr Gable," she said quietly. "She has done enough for me in the past few days. I think it's better if she recovers from her ordeal." Blue eyes met hers. "Has she recovered?"
The way she asked it made Abby's stomach turn a little. She nodded but realised it wasn't quite the truth.
"She's trying," Abby pointed out. "She's better than she was. Physically, she's fine. But melding with that thing…" She didn't know how to voice her fears. "She nearly died, Aria."
The asari nodded slowly. "A lot of my people did," she pointed out. Abby wanted to tell herself she didn't care about them but that wasn't true. Not a week before the warehouse massacre, she had personally pulled several pieces of shrapnel and bullets from one of Aria's guards, a krogan named Orgun.
The reaper hybrid had slaughtered him. Hearing that had hurt more than she cared to admit to herself.
"I want closure on this matter," Aria began. "I need you to come with me."
Her stomach turned. "Aria, I have just recovered from melding, and Asura needs me. I don't have…" She stopped when Aria met her gaze again, and the need she saw there halted her words.
"Please, Dr Gable," Aria said. "I need your help."
Please, need…
Abby sighed inwardly and nodded. She went to her office to leave her lab coat and send a message to Grom, wondering if he would bother to read it. She considered letting Asura know where she was going but decided against it. She didn't want to upset or frighten her.
Wordlessly, she joined Aria, who escorted her out and took her to one of the nearby vehicle stations. Griss was there, keeping an eye on the commuters. No one looked at them, and Abby knew nobody would ever try to take Aria out in public. She was too frightening.
Griss inclined his head to Abby as they reached the vehicle and helped her out of courtesy. Abby was surprised he didn't join them and felt even more uncomfortable as Aria pulled away and began to move to the upper levels.
"Have you been paid for your services, Dr Gable?" Aria asked as they travelled. "Is our account in order?"
Abby nodded slowly, forcing herself to look out the window rather than at Aria.
"Anto settled," she said. "Thank you. I see he put in a little extra." Her resolve broke, and she glanced at Aria, who smiled grimly.
"You went above and beyond," Aria's tone had a hint of scorn in it. "You even called backup of your own. Subject Zero and Miranda Lawson. Now an agent to the Shadow Broker. Your initiative required a reward."
Abby shifted uncomfortably. "Miranda got involved because of Kai Leng," she said. "I didn't ask for her to stay. And Jack…" she trailed off. "Well, if I hadn't called her, the whole thing might have turned out differently."
Aria murmured in agreement. "Did you know that it was Kai Leng who killed Liselle?" The matriarch asked. When Abby shook her head, she continued. "Paul Grayson seemed to be… innocent. The only crimes he committed were to his previous institution." She shrugged, her gaze distant. "If he had told me that from the beginning, I might have been more accommodating."
Abby said nothing, not sure what Aria wanted from her. She studied the asari's features, trying to place her mood. As stoic as she tried to be, her melancholy resonated. Abby resisted the urge to touch her shoulder and looked out the window. Aria continued speaking, though now it sounded like she was talking to herself.
"They might both be alive. I'd have kept a closer eye on him and exchanged information for protection. My daughter was right. I should have given him a chance." She frowned, appearing angry.
"I have few regrets, Dr Gable. I have lived the life I needed to get what I want." She sighed deeply.
"I will regret this until the day I die."
Despite her unease, Abby's heart ached.
"I'm sorry, Aria," she said and meant it. "I am truly sorry for your loss."
Aria made a sound in her throat as they pulled into an empty parking station.
"I know," she said. "I believe you. Your kindness to me and your support has not gone unnoticed. You can get out."
The veterinarian did so quickly, relieved when Aria did the same. For a split second, she thought the asari would abandon her. She looked around to try and find where they were, but she saw nobody else. It was surprisingly quiet in this section of Omega. There were no people, no hum from Omega's generators or even the faint vibration of mining. Abby found that she was even trying to breathe quietly.
"Follow me, Doctor," Aria motioned her to her side. "I don't want to waste too much of your time."
The asari led her to a door, revealing a set of stairs. Wordlessly, they climbed to the top, where Abby gasped slightly, amazed by what she saw. They had to be at the very top of the asteroid, she decided, because the view to the void of space was unobstructed. A sea of stars flowed above their heads, made visible by the glass-like dome that made up the ceiling. At first, the room appeared bare of all decorations, though with the view, it was hardly necessary. Abby then saw a dais surrounded by faintly glowing flowers behind Aria. Her throat caught, and she felt tears threatening to surface.
"Oh, Aria," she breathed as she looked at what could only be Liselle's tomb. "I have no right to be here."
The matriarch ignored this and slowly approached the containment unit. Abby had seen one like that when she saw Tela Vasir's corpse.
Vasir, I am sorry I couldn't save you.
"I know Asura follows the old beliefs," Aria spoke, not looking at Abby. Realising that she wouldn't be dismissed, Abby slowly walked to her and stood on the other side of the coffin. She could make out Liselle's features.
Lo, she is not dead but sleeping.
"I don't hold to those fancies anymore," Aria said. "I believe in what we have here, in the moment. When I die one day, it will be my legacy that survives. Not my soul or spirit." Her features crumbled, and Abby saw her eyes go moist. "Yet I have found myself standing here daily, wondering what is left of her. How can I reach out and touch her once again? How can I fix it?"
Abby swallowed against her tears, reminded of her losses. She was reminded of her questions about death.
The asari sighed heavily. "And I have been unable to let go," she said. "I bring offerings of flowers. Barren hopes that she might be able to experience them once more." Her hand caressed the coffin, and Abby was drawn back to the flowers. They were delicate things, almost ethereal. Aria must have brought them in from somewhere because it was unlike anything she had ever seen.
"This has to stop," Aria's harsh tone startled her. "Her death has been avenged. It is the only thing I could still give her in death that truly mattered. So now it is done. I must end this."
Licking her lips for moisture, Abby cleared her throat and rubbed at her eyes.
"Aria, there's nothing wrong in mourning what was lost."
"Really?" The asari's tone was harsh. "Do you mourn the family you've lost? Do you mourn for the memories that have become stagnant? For the lives that will never colour your future again?"
Abby couldn't stop her tears, the asari's pain overwhelming and echoing against her own.
"I don't think about it," she confessed and felt that echo of homesickness that sometimes spilt over her. "Death didn't take them. It took me." She shifted her weight and sighed. Slowly, she walked to Aria and rested a hand on her back.
"What do you need me to do?"
Aria was looking at Liselle, her sorrow a terrible thing to witness. A trembling hand pointed her towards a panel on the wall. "There is a release button," she said. "All I need from you is to press it. I have been unable to."
Abby glanced at it, then at the figure lying before them. She didn't know whether to feel honoured or horrified that Aria chose her for the job.
"Have you said your peace?" She asked as she took her hand away from Aria. "Are you ready for this?"
Aria's expression became fierce. "There is nothing to say to her now," she said. "Those words I should have spoken in life. Press the button, Dr Gable." Abby noted that she didn't answer the latter. Feeling the weight of the request settle on her shoulders, Abby went to the panel and found the button Aria mentioned. It was hard to miss; a massive eject sign was written on it. She glanced back to Aria, her mind's eye finding strange beauty in the image. It made her aware of her fragile mortality, something she had given up so quickly in the world before this one.
I will live as long as I can for Asura, she found herself thinking. Aria glanced back and met her gaze, inclining her head slightly. Abby turned to the wall and pushed the button. There was a hiss from across the room, and she turned around to see the coffin lowering to the floor, the flowers spilling into it. Unsure of what to do, she followed her instincts and returned to Aria's side. She slipped her hand into the crook of Aria's elbow, and the asari didn't protest. Together, they watched as a panel slid close where the coffin had stood. When Aria turned to the window, Abby did the same and saw the containment unit shoot off into space. After a few seconds, there was a bright flash, and the unit burned up and disintegrated. Abby saw Aria watching this with tears streaming down her face. Her eye caught something outside, and Abby looked to the window to see a few of the flowers drift around the window. She expected them to freeze, but that didn't happen. Instead, they floated around, though a few began to lose their glow. At this, Aria pulled her arm away and turned back to the stairs.
"I will take you back to your clinic," she said, and Abby knew it would be the last time she ever mentioned this.
She doubted Aria would ever speak her daughter's name again.
Walking the gardens in autumn was a blessing. A slight breeze stirred the leaves, causing them to drop onto the path in numbers far greater than the mechs could pick up. Jane Shepard watched them as they went about their duties, then turned her gaze to the path where she saw imprints left behind from crushed leaves. It made her smile and ache all at the same time.
"I could never stand autumn," the person beside her said. "It's beautiful at first, pulling you in, making you appreciate it. Then it becomes wet and cold. Before you know it, winter is around the corner, making your life miserable."
Jane smiled and glanced at her companion. Captain Hannah Shepard was dressed in a thick coat and a woollen hat pulled over her ears. In her advancing years, she had become prone to feeling the cold more than usual. Definitely more than Jane, who only wore a long-sleeved shirt. She couldn't remember she had ever had an aversion to cold. Scanning the guards around them, she decided it was colder than she thought. They were also dressed warmly, though they ignored the weather. All of them were looking at the Shepards.
"I don't mind it," Jane said. "It's beautiful mum. I wish…" She trailed off and didn't dare finish her sentence.
I wish Samara could see this.
Captain Shepard murmured something and pulled her closer. She slipped a cold hand into Jane's pocket, and now the commander could feel the chill of her hands through the thin fabric.
"Mum," she exclaimed. "That is cold." She didn't pull away from her, though, enjoying their closeness.
Hannah chuckled softly and slipped her hand out.
"It's only fair you understand what I have to put up with to see you," she said. Her eyes drifted to a giant soldier standing on the path's edge, and she sighed.
"I guess our time is up; I see Man Mountain is ready to drag you back to your cell."
Jane looked at Lieutenant James Vega and wondered, not for the first time, why he had been assigned to her. She knew he was loyal to Anderson, but it felt like a waste of time. Soldiers shouldn't be nursemaids.
"It has been an hour," Jane said with some regret. "It always passes so quickly." She thought of all the things she wanted to ask her mother, but none of it was something she was willing to discuss in front of strangers. Her life had become very isolated, with news barely filtering down to her. Oh, she had access to every news channel in the galaxy. She doubted any of them reported what was really going on.
"It does," her mother agreed. "Yet I am grateful." She turned and touched Jane's face, a rare display of public affection. "Would you think poorly of me if I feel this is a blessing?"
Jane ignored the ache in her chest and smiled at her mother. "It is," she said and meant it. This was the most time she had ever spent with her parent. Before her deployment on the Normandy, their schedules aligned once or twice a year at most. "But if they wish to post you to another ship, accept the offer, mum. You weren't meant to be in an office."
She could see the longing in Hannah Shepard's eyes, which echoed within her. She missed space. She had been born there and raised on starships and space stations. Autumn was beautiful, but she wanted to be - needed to be out there.
The reapers are coming.
"And miss out on this time with you?" her mother asked. "No. I can hardly leave you to Anderson's care. His mind is on other things these days."
Jane wondered what it was, but she didn't ask. That seemed to be against the rules.
"Well, if you see him, send him my regards," she said. "He has been scarce." She didn't fault him for it; she knew he was working on getting things done. Or at least she hoped he was. She hoped at least someone out there was focusing on the reapers, focusing on their attack plan. Frustration at her incarceration came and went. She had enough time behind closed doors to learn to accept it.
"I will," Hannah said and patted Jane's pockets. "Now, put your hands in there. You can't be as warm as you say you are."
Jane chuckled. "Mum, I'm not a child." She stated, but Hannah raised a finger at her.
"Hands. Warm. Pockets." She spoke crisply. "That's an order, Commander."
James Vega joined them and saluted. Jane ignored him, studying her mother's features. There was something in the way she said it…
Jane turned to Vega, saluted him, and slipped her hands into her pockets. Her mother's eyes became brighter, and it took all of Jane's self-control not to gasp in surprise. There was a paper note in her pocket.
"This is better," she confessed. "Thanks, Mum."
When the older Shepard stepped up to her, she slipped her hands out of her pockets and hugged her.
"Till next week, Janie," her mum intoned. "I'll see you next week. Be good…" She shrugged. "Or if you can't be good, be good at it." She winked at her and left. When another soldier wanted to escort her outside, she waved him off.
"I can find my way out, thank you very much," Jane heard her mother's dismissal. She tried to act casual as she turned to Vega.
"I guess it's the usual?"
He nodded and patted her down.
Nobody thinks of paper anymore. It can't be picked up in a scan.
Jane could barely contain her excitement as Vega finished patting her down and escorted her back to her cell. They didn't have much to say to each other, and she wasn't in the mood to talk. She rarely was these days, but she put an effort in for her mother. She had found peace in their time together. Perhaps that was why she was enjoying autumn so much.
In her cell, though it was perhaps unkind to call it that, Jane fussed around. She straightened her bedding, did some floor exercises to work up a sweat while she listened to the news, and then she went to take a shower. All within the routine she typically followed when her mother visited her. In the bathroom, though, one of the few places that offered her privacy, she turned on the shower, stripped her clothes to put them into the laundry chute and slipped the note out of her pocket.
With her heart thundering in her chest. Jane looked at the handwriting but couldn't recognise it immediately. She covered the note in her hands and slipped into the shower. She put the paper in a corner where hardly any water flowed and could read it without risking it.
Dear Jane,
I have an opportunity to write to you but not much time to prepare. I would have wished to include more messages from your crew members, but there's no time. Anderson is here on Omega, and if all goes well, he'll leave here with this message. With the help of Kahlee Sanders, whom I believe you've met, he's taken down several Cerberus facilities. Aria also got involved, so I've been given this opportunity.
I hope this finds you well. I hope that you are being treated kindly. I hear your mother gets to see you, and for that, I'm glad. I'm hoping Anderson didn't lie to me about that. We all miss you. Dr Chakwas is working at Huerta Memorial Hospital these days, and Kelly works as a trauma counsellor in the refugee wards. Chakwas told me that she hears from a krogan called Wrex occasionally. I haven't met him, but I thought you'd like to know. Grunt is with him and thriving. I can't tell you of Tali and Garrus; they don't contact me. Jack is doing very well. She's working at Grissom Academy, where they took her after they arrested you. I saw her less than an hour ago; she and Asura are off to help Anderson. Miranda Lawson's also been around; she is with Liara and looked well. I don't know what they're doing. I'm not privy to that information, but they mentioned you. I believe they have all tried to reach out to you. I hope some messages have found their way to you.
I also want to tell you that Samara was doing well when I last heard. By now, she should have made a full recovery. She doesn't reach out to us. I think it is because she doesn't want to expose Asura. But she is well. I had tried to reach out to her before writing this but had no reply. I tried Jane.
I believe your message hasn't fallen on entirely deaf ears. I heard the Alliance is preparing in some form or another. Anderson might have told you of this. I hope he has done right by you so far.
Please know that I miss you and think of you every day. It is also a tiny thing in the grand scheme of things, hardly worth mentioning, but I want to tell you I am doing well. I am living a full life because of you, Jane Shepard. I hold no ill will to you in the way we departed. You did what you had to do to keep us all safe.
And it worked because we are.
Please take care of yourself, and don't let them destroy you.
Love,
Abby.
She should have destroyed the letter because it was evidence that her mother had managed to slip something past the guards, but Jane, with tears in her eyes, shut the water off and carefully took the piece of paper outside. The steam had made it damp, and a rogue droplet or two had found its way to the paper. The ink didn't run, but it would leave a stain regardless. She didn't want to damage it because, in that moment, it meant more to her than the world.
"Thank you, Abby," Jane breathed as she slipped the paper between her clothes, getting dressed so as not to arouse suspicion. She felt lonely and revived and wondered if she would ever have the chance to tell the veterinarian how much this meant to her. She doubted she would ever see her again. But she could hope.
And Samara, she thought as she settled down on her bed and looked at the ceiling. Samara is well.
It was all she needed to know.
The reapers will come; she knew this, and in that lonely room with only a window to show her the outside world, Jane made a promise to herself to find all her people again. Because she knew she could not win the coming fight without them.
