Chapter LVII – Remembrance

Another night came all too soon.

Bishop and Aeyrin barely left the fort. They spent so much time in that place, explaining everything to Isran. Or rather, Serana did.

Now that the prophecy was left in someone else's hands, they could leave for their own journeys. Not that it was comfortable leaving that mess behind, but taking on vampires and Gods knew what was not exactly ideal right now. Besides, it would likely take time before Serana managed to gather the Scrolls and get them away from Harkon.

They were doing all they could to help now – keeping Dexion safely in Sky Haven Temple.

That left them with time to pursue their own interests. They still meant to go see that blacksmith in Dawnstar so that the piece of silver from Markarth could be made into something wearable.

All that for a piece of silver. If they didn't do this tradition, they would have never gone to Markarth like this, never gotten framed for Nepos the Nose and they would have never been in Cidhna Mine. Bishop wouldn't have killed Madanach and maybe the rebellion wouldn't have happened. Then the dragons wouldn't have attacked Markarth and let out their steam on Rorikstead. And Dexion would never have been stolen by the Dawnguard and Serana might not have been able to approach Isran.

Was this all a good thing or a bad one?

They were definitely more stressed and freaked out. And their lives would get much more unpleasant now with everyone knowing about Alduin.

But were hidden dangers that could swoop down on them while they were clueless any better? Maybe it was a good thing they knew about the other prophecy. And it was a good thing that Calcelmo revealed himself as an undefeatable protector of Markarth. All the lives lost, what happened to Rorikstead as well as the Forsworn uprising, none of those were good.

Maybe nothing was ever good or bad entirely. They couldn't change anything. They came for that small piece of silver and now they were here.

Camping in the Rift always made things a little better though. They decided to stay relatively close to Riften, though far enough for Aeyrin to be comfortable transforming, and then they would hitch a ride to Dawnstar the next day. With luck, they would be able to make camp outside the northern city for the third night.

Right now though, they could still enjoy camping among the soft grass and golden leaves fallen from the aspen trees.

Bishop just finished putting their dinner on the fire and he moved back towards Aeyrin. She was leaning her back on a nearby tree, lazily watching him work. The tree trunk was too small for him to lean on it next to her, so instead, when he sat beside her, he grabbed her by the shoulders and stole her leaning position, then he had her press her back into his chest instead.

This was nice. It felt like they hadn't been alone for ages. Maybe since Markarth. Not like this – not in the wilderness with genuinely nobody bothering them or even anywhere near them.

Fuck, were they even alone like this before Markarth? There was that mess with that Argonian assassin hounding their journey from Solitude.

Shit, it's been ages.

Bishop started to play with her hair lazily, running his hands through her locks, still wet from her bath in the nearby pond they shared a while ago. The transformations had one big downside and that was the lack of time in the night for them to have some proper fun. They had to take any opportunity they could during the day and the evening. And he made sure they did.

But even Aeyrin didn't seem so anxious about the transformation tonight. Maybe she really was starting to finally accept it for what it was.

"You know, there's one thing that bugs me about these werewolf senses," she mused idly.

Huh. It was like she was reading his mind. She was thinking about the same thing right now?

"I've been noticing it more – when I concentrate, I can see things further ahead or hear better. But the smells. I feel like I can smell everything in a weird way. Especially lately. It's like it's gotten worse. Things smell different too. The same, but… it's so strong that it feels different. I don't know how to explain it," she tried to say what was on her mind. Now this was spurred by the smell of the spiced chicken on the fire. She loved spiced food and she knew it was going to be good. But right now, it just smelled too strong for her.

"Maybe soon, you'll be able to just drop to the ground and sniff me out when we get separated. Like Karnwyr," Bishop chuckled.

"You know what? That might not be bad," she grinned and turned a bit in his embrace until she could lay her face onto his chest, catching the whiff of the familiar scent of leather. And those spices now, of course. The smell was all over him. All over everything just then. But she tried to concentrate on the leather. "So many situations would have been easier with him around to sniff us out."

"Yeah," Bishop nodded. "It sucks I didn't see him on my hunt today." He went earlier, but there was no sign of Karnwyr, unfortunately. Maybe next time when they will stay here. They were going to go to Windhelm after Dawnstar – for the blessing of Talos. And then they were probably going to head to Falkreath for that gift of Kyne. And maybe to punch Siddgeir. It was inevitable that they would be back here relatively soon.

Aeyrin curled into his arms more with a small nod. He could already tell that she was feeling guilty about it again. But what was there to say? She knew he didn't blame her. The situation just sucked.

And despite that, he was still looking forward to her transformation.

Was it disturbing? It wasn't that he was more excited to spend time with the werewolf than her. It was just… rarer. And it always made him so fucking proud to see how well they got along after all that shit.

He just liked them both. It was not that he loved the werewolf. But… it was still her. It was confusing. She always differentiated between the two of them and sometimes he did too, but sometimes he saw so much of her in the werewolf. It was confusing.

Maybe he shouldn't overthink it.

Maybe he should just enjoy both of their presences whenever he could.

Bishop spent the entire night in the werewolf's arms, resting peacefully. It was such a nice change again to be alone and like this.

Aeyrin went to sleep obediently and so did he. That was why they were rested enough to catch a carriage right after breakfast.

Except for one problem.

"The fuck do you mean 'no carriages'? How the fuck do people travel?" Bishop scoffed. What the fuck was this bullshit?

"Sir, please calm down," the man by the stables sighed. "We recommend that people don't travel right now. Not until the security on roads and in smaller settlements is heightened." He was trying to remain calm, but the man himself was clearly nervous. And he kept glancing at Aeyrin while trying to appear inconspicuous.

"Is this because of Rorikstead?" Bishop scowled. The man made it sound like no carriages were going anywhere.

"Yes. Most employers decided to hold back on the carriages until security is heightened. Not all, so a carriage might arrive here and take you where you need, but I wouldn't count on it. It hasn't happened in two days," the man explained.

"Do you expect the Stormcloaks to 'heighten security' in small settlements?" Aeyrin raised her brow. That was surely not the kind of plan that Ulfric was making. Ugh. The thought of his letter still made her queasy.

"Our carriages are owned by Lady Black-Briar. She promised to send her mercenaries to several crucial spots in the Rift to ensure our safety. And her good profits, of course. But you have to be patient, please," the man looked at them pleadingly.

Well… at least with Maven, it was likely a solid promise. She would never allow low security to jeopardize her business.

"Well… more wilderness for us, at least," Bishop shrugged as he turned back to Aeyrin. "Not like we're in a rush."

"Right," she smiled back. And at least she wouldn't have to get chained up in the snow up north. "Oh! How about we stop for the last night in the Eastmarch tundra?"

She really missed the hot springs.

It sounded like the best plan.

Bishop had to chuckle as he watched werewolf Aeyrin bite at the warm water of the pool. She was so fucking cute.

When they set up camp in the tundra, he had the bright idea to chain her in a way that would give her access to the pools. Hey, wolves liked water too. And not only that!

Aeyrin actually let him convince her that it was enough to chain only her one arm. That was it – no neck chain, no second arm. It was just a small precaution. But she knew this all already – Bishop could handle her like nobody else. She even remembered more from the previous night. It was still only feelings, but the most prominent one was calm and safety. That definitely helped the decision.

Bishop sat at the edge of the pool, letting his bare feet dangle in the water while he watched her play. He wondered if he did that. She really did act like a pet sometimes, but so did Karnwyr. And usually wolves weren't like this. Did he really manage to turn wolves into cuddly dogs? He wasn't sure if he was proud or disturbed by that.

Or maybe he was giving himself too much credit.

Sudden spray of warm water tore him away from his ruminations when Aeyrin stood up in the pool and shook the water off her fur. It was everywhere, especially on Bishop. But he only let out an affectionate chuckle at her stunt.

"That was on purpose, wasn't it?" He laughed. "I'll get you back for that." He kicked in the water with his foot, making another spray of water hit her fur in turn.

Aeyrin turned towards him instantly with a warning growl, but Bishop merely laughed at her attempt at looking intimidating and he kicked again, drenching her more.

That did it. With another growl, she lunged at him, wading through the water until she ended up right in front of him. The wet fur of her forehead pressed against him and for a while, his whole world was just her black eyes, staring at him somewhat menacingly.

It wasn't even remotely scary. If she wanted to hurt him, he would be hurt. She would hardly get this close and did nothing if she was really mad though.

He reached out to pet her furry cheek with another chuckle escaping his lips and then he began to rub her behind her ear once more. So fucking cute.

Her reaction surprised him. She let out another growl, but a second later, he felt her wet tongue dart over his cheek. Very briefly, but he knew what he felt.

"You know, love," he smiled a bit wistfully. "We have to cure you, but… I'm gonna miss this. I wish we didn't waste the first few months with those fucking struggles when it wasn't necessary." He knew that 'taming' took time, sure, but this was different. This was Aeyrin. And she knew the entire time who he was and that she didn't want to hurt him. The only thing she was afraid of was herself. At times like these, he really hated that rigid Stendarrite upbringing.

"We could have gone hunting together every night. Or done shit like this instead of trying to keep out of each other's way, not even knowing who was afraid of who," he sighed.

Fuck, he really would miss this. But then again, he also really hoped she could be cured soon. It was difficult. Like everything else, there was not only good or only bad. He only wished they could have spent time like this from the start without the bad taking charge.

He knew she was still struggling, even if less so. He knew she needed to Shout and that she needed to know that some horrible plane of Oblivion didn't await her when she died. And he also wanted Karnwyr back so fucking badly it hurt.

But this was just nice.

He didn't clear it first with her elven self, but… ah, fuck it.

"Hey, sweetheart," he rubbed her wet fur more as she kept her head nuzzled into his hair, now much less menacingly. "Do you want to go on a hunt?"

Aeyrin took a step back and looked at him. She didn't growl, she didn't whine or nod or do anything at all, but he could see the eagerness in her eyes.

"That's what I thought," Bishop grinned. "I wonder if we'll run into a mammoth. Not that I want mammoth meat but I kinda wanna see you deal with one."

He quickly moved away from the pool and began dressing again in his boots and armor. He didn't even trap the camp today. It was too open and it would have been pointless. He reassured Aeyrin that nothing would hurt them with her in her werewolf form and her heightened sense of smell. And he promised to stay awake through the night. Not that he minded.

He was done soon, and by the time he returned to Aeyrin, she was already out of the pool too, waiting eagerly for him to remove her last shackle.

The moment he did, she sprang forth. He knew this would happen, but he was still caught off guard. She ran across the tundra in a random direction, focused only on the hunt.

"Hey! Wait for me!" He laughed as he ran after her.

This was going to be fun.

"That was so fucking quick. You are insane," Bishop sighed as he sat down by the dead mammoth, still trying to catch his breath.

He barely managed to catch up to her and she was already on a mammoth's back, digging her claws into the thick flesh and sinking her teeth in. The mammoth merely wailed in pain. It had no chance to fight back against this quick predator.

By the time Bishop caught up entirely, the mammoth slumped to the ground, its fur soaked in blood from all the deep gashes and chunks of flesh bitten off.

"You're gonna have that taste in your mouth again," Bishop chastised her, but she didn't listen. She was eager to enjoy her kill. He wasn't even sure if she was actually hungry or if she just ate because it was her trophy.

For that matter, the fact that he had mentioned the mammoth before made him wonder if she was just showing off for him.

That was kind of an amusing thought. He really hoped that was the case.

His breathing calmed down eventually and he got up to his feet again and approached her. Her head was buried in the dead mammoth and he let out a sigh. He'd have to clean her up before she went to sleep. And he should get some food, maybe some honey or such, just to get the taste out of her mouth. He had some honey left in a small jar, though he meant to use it for cooking. Ah well, they'd buy more in Dawnstar.

He began to stroke over the golden fur of her back as she continued to feed, but suddenly, she stopped.

She didn't snap at him for touching her, but she did raise her head and sniff around exaggeratedly.

What was it? She smelled something?

Before Bishop could react, she left the mammoth be and she suddenly ran forth, to the east.

What the fuck was it now? Did she want to hunt more?

Bishop let out a tired sigh and he ran after her. Fuck, she was a demanding hunting partner. Well… he couldn't really call her that. Or himself, rather. She was the only one doing any hunting.

He heard her growl menacingly before he reached her. He saw her standing, clearly stopped for something, but he couldn't see what. He had to run closer.

And then he noticed it.

Fuck!

A young Khajiit, no older than fifteen, was crouching down on the ground, shivering in fright with her eyes closed firmly, likely not to see the monster looming over her with its maw all bloody.

Shit. What was she doing? Aeyrin kept growling in warning at the girl, but she just stayed crouched there, so terrified. That was an unpleasant sight. Why did Aeyrin run towards her? Was the girl going to come closer? What was she doing here? The road was far from here.

He wasn't sure what Aeyrin's intention here was, but he was pretty confident that she was trying to chase the girl away. The Khajiit wouldn't budge though.

Fuck. He hoped he wasn't recognizable after the recent news. He had to reveal his position now. There was no other way. He had no idea what Aeyrin would do the longer the girl refused to run.

"Stop!" He yelled at Aeyrin firmly. At last she focused on him instead of the frightened girl. But she still didn't move.

"Heel!" Would she respond to that? She wasn't a dog, despite some of her behavior. But he needed to try and he made sure that his voice was especially commanding. She often responded to it. She also responded to him being reassuring, but this wasn't really a situation where he could be soft with her.

Aeyrin growled at him in protest. He was pretty sure he understood the problem, but fuck, was she making things worse.

"I know. I'll handle it. Heel!"

Finally. She ran towards him and she did growl at him angrily. Fine, fair, she didn't like him being that commanding. He didn't really like it either, but she needed to leave the girl alone.

"Stay," Bishop ordered her while he began walking towards the girl. He needed to reassure her. She was still crouched down and trembling. She must have been so terrified.

"I'm sorry about that, are you alright?" Bishop sighed.

The girl looked up at him with wide blue eyes, but they quickly turned back to Aeyrin standing nearby.

"She won't hurt you. She didn't want to hurt you, she just tried to chase you away. You're far from the roads and it's the middle of the night," Bishop shook his head. "I know she's kinda scary though. I'm sorry."

The girl nodded a little and then she tried to get up on her feet. She still trembled and her fur was wet with tears, but she tried to collect herself. Her eyes were still on Aeyrin with wary fear.

"Why are you here? Are you with a caravan?" Bishop asked.

"Y-yes, sir," the girl nodded hurriedly. "This one ran to see… to see if the miners needed some goods. But…"

Bishop looked into the direction the girl must have been running. Darkwater Crossing. And Aeyrin stopped her. Still…

"Why are you running here through the night? There's mammoths and giants and shit here," Bishop growled at her in frustration.

"This one… this one can avoid them. They don't see Khajiit. And… Oonpal co. It's almost morning. This one would have been there by then and caught the miners before work," she pouted and she made a step to the side to hide herself behind Bishop in order not to have Aeyrin watch her anymore. "The Khajiit is quick. And silent. But… but that thing… ah! She. Urada! Sorry! Young one didn't mean it, sir!" The girl now looked terrified of Bishop. Of course she did. He was the one who 'controlled' the 'thing' she was so scared of.

"It's fine," Bishop sighed. "I'm sorry about this. I know it looked bad, but she was just trying to chase you away from a dangerous place." At least he was convinced of that. He hoped so. If she wanted to attack the Khajiit, she would have, right? "Go, get to the Crossing. Don't worry, she won't follow you."

"Tonsh Jer. Thank you," the girl bowed a little and she ran off instantly without looking back. She probably just wanted to get away from them.

She said the miners would be awake by the time she got there. It was almost morning then. He needed to take Aeyrin back.

Fuck. Would she have attacked the girl eventually?

If she remembered this once she turned back… she was gonna kill him.

He was gonna be in so much trouble for unchaining her.

Morning came all too soon.

Bishop still managed to do everything he needed to. He brought Aeyrin back to the camp – she was surprisingly silent and obedient. She seemed to be feeling bad for what she did, but he couldn't be sure of that.

He had her go back to the pool and she diligently submerged herself to wash her maw and fur, then he gave her a bowl full of the rest of his honey. She licked it all up with surprising gusto for a predator. But she always loved sweets. He wondered if the werewolf liked berries too.

He was still nervous about what would follow in the morning. She would not be happy with him.

But there was nothing he could do about it now.

He chained her arm again and she let him, then he moved himself to the bedroll and waited for her to turn back.

All went like it always did, although now when Aeyrin was back in her elven form, instantly passed out from exhaustion, her body was still a little wet. He tried to dry her off with the blanket a bit before he unchained her once more and moved her back into the bedroll.

He just knew he would get woken up soon by someone shaking him angrily, but he dozed off nonetheless.

And of course, the next thing he knew, she was shaking him, her hand on his chest again.

"Bish, wake up," her voice was groggy, but it woke him up nonetheless.

"Morning, princess," he mumbled. Here goes.

"What were you doing last night?" She asked and her brows creased a little as she concentrated on something – maybe her memories. But then, a soft chuckle rang through the area. "I remember you getting all wet when I shook off some water and you tried to get me back."

Heh. That was it?

"Yeah," Bishop chuckled a little uncertainly. "Anything else you remember?"

"Not this time," she sighed with a soft smile on her face. "Hey, it's still progress!"

It was progress. And fuck did he get lucky. She didn't need to know this – it would only upset her and it would serve nothing. This was not like before – this was not something important she needed to remember.

He really escaped her anger too closely for comfort.

"I have that taste in my mouth again," she groaned.

Fuck.

She'd have questions about that.

Think!

"You know, that metallic one from when Serana tried to charm me? Everything tastes weird with it," she whined in annoyance.

Oh.

Holy shit, this was going to wreck his nerves.

It was his own fault for keeping this from her, but why upset her needlessly? He would just have to survive these small heart-attacks she was giving him. No big deal. As if it was the first time he was paranoid.

But still, before that part with the Khajiit, it was a really fun night.

Maybe she would see it that way too if she ever remembered such things.

He would have to be more careful next time though. He would have never thought she'd chase after that girl like this. And why did the girl not run? Maybe she was taught that predators were more likely to chase after someone running. But a werewolf? They were gonna maul people, running or not.

Well… not Aeyrin.

Why did only he see how different she was?