Chapter 7 – OOH! KIDNAPPING - [Keeper POV]
"There's so many flavors," Keefe breathed, looking down at the menu situated on the serving shelf of the gelato vendor he, Tam and Sophie were standing in line at. "How do we choose?"
"We are not going to choose anything." Sophie told him. "Miss Peregrine's wards want melone, so that's what we'll get." They were getting the gelato straight from Italy as an apology for Fitz's actions; why would they get any flavor other than the one the children want?
Keefe pouted.
Sophie ignored him.
Once it was their turn at the counter, they were greeted by a greasy, unkempt man. "Lei parla inglese?" Sophie asked him.
"Yes, I do speak English, pretty lady," The man spoke English perfectly with a heavy Italian accent. "I'm Josh, now what can I get for such a pretty little girl?" Josh continued.
Sophie fought hard not to recoil. Even though they didn't understand what Josh was saying, Tam and Keefe decidedly did not like his cocky drawl.
Awkwardly, Sophie replied, "Can we get a large tub of melone gelato, please?"
"Of course," Josh said with a wink, disappearing below the counter to retrieve Sophie's order. When he appeared again he rang the three up and they hurriedly left.
Sophie let out a relieved breath when they got about a block away.
"What was that about?" Tam asked Sophie worriedly, taking the bag of gelato from her. Sophie just shrugged and led them to a deserted ally so they could leave.
The trio landed a few houses down from Miss Peregrine's.
"I think I'm gonna throw up," Tam gasped, running to the bushes underneath the windowsill of the nearest house. Sophie turned away, green at the vomiting noises Tam was making.
Keefe just looked on and laughed.
"Hey!" Tam shouted at Keefe once he finished. "You haven't had to teleport so many times in just two days!"
Keefe shrugged, still laughing at Tam.
Keefe joined Sophie as she started walking towards Miss Peregrine's house while Tam lagged behind, seeming unreasonably nervous.
"Who would live in these anyway?" Keefe asked Sophie, looking around at the rows of identical houses.
"Humans would," Sophie replied, not understanding why the concept was so confusing.
They continued walking until they reached Miss Peregrine's house. Once there, Sophie politely knocked, but after a singular minute of waiting Keefe started bashing on the door. Thankfully Sophie stopped him before he could break the door down. =
Almost immediately after Keefe stopped knocking the door swung open, revealing Miss Peregrine.
Sophie noticed she looked flustered with her wide eyes and flushed cheeks.
Before anyone could say anything a loud squeal came from down the hallway and Olive could be seen sprinting full force towards the door.
More specifically towards Sophie.
Seeing this, Sophie braced for impact. As expected, Olive hit her pretty hard, but thankfully both girls were just fine. Sophie then embraced the small child and gently pat her head, giggling all the while.
Keefe didn't question why there was a little girl wrapped around Sophie. He opened his mouth and spoke to Miss Peregrine. "Well hullo, woman I'm going to pretend I've never met." He looked at the little girl who was now holding Sophie's hand and smiling up at her. "And little girl I've actually never met."
Sophie laughed. Olive's expression changed to confusion. She has no idea what Keefe was saying.
Keefe was talking in the Enlightened Language, of course.
Fighting passed her giggles, Sophie translated Keefe's words for Olive's benefit. Olive waved shyly at him in response.
"Hello, Mr., uh, what is your name again?" Miss Peregrine asked Keefe.
"Keefe," Keefe answered. Then a sly smile stretched across his lisps. "But my friends call me Lord Hunkyhair."
"No they don't!" Sophie shouted indignantly from behind him.
Keefe looked over his shoulder at her. "Ro does,"
Sophie groaned. "She does because she lost that stupid bet." Sophie argued. "Tam, back me up here!"
Tam ignored her. He was strangely peering over Miss Peregrine's shoulder down the hallway. He seemed to be looking for something – or someone.
Before either Sophie or Keefe could get another word in, Miss Peregrine spoke, this time in English. "How about we take this to the living room?" She offered. "Is that gelato I see?"
At the word gelato Olive let out a squeal as Tam passed the bag over to Miss Peregrine, courtesy of Sophie translating Miss Peregrine's words to the Enlightened Language for him and Keefe.
The five of them mad their way down the hallway to the living room where the rest of Miss Peregrine's wards were stationed.
"Up, off the couch," Miss Peregrine commanded. Her wards scrambled to do as she said. Olive joined the rest of the kids on the floor.
Miss Peregrine gestured for her guests to take a seat on the now vacated couch. "Emma, would you please get enough bowls and spoons for everyone? We have been gifted another tub of gelato."
Both Emma and Sophie spoke at the same time.
"No, Miss Peregrine, we don't need –"
"But, Headmistress, why should they –"
Miss Peregrine shushed them both. "Yes, our guests deserve some gelato." She said firmly.
Emma shot a glare at Sophie as she retreated to the kitchen to do what was asked of her.
Sophie was taken aback. She didn't understand what she had done to Emma for her to hate her so much.
Soon everyone had been served a bowl of gelato, however.
"Now," Miss Peregrine started. "While you are enjoying your treat I will explain some things, if I may." She went on to explain to her wards about elves in English, and then about peculiars to Sophie and her friends in the Enlightened Language.
Only Keefe noticed the awkward glances Tam and Enoch were sneaking at each other.
By the time Miss Peregrine had finished telling her tales – because her explanation did in fact take that form – her gelato had melted in its bowl in her lap. Everyone else's had already been eaten and placed aside.
Miss Peregrine cleared her throat and, without saying anything, raised her bowl to her lips and drank her melted gelato.
When she was done she wiped the back of her hand across her mouth and asked Sophie how long she, Tam and Keefe were planning on staying.
"Um, not much longer, I think," Sophie shrugged. "We need to get back home soon."
Miss Peregrine nodded,
"Excuse me, I'm going to go use the bathroom," Sophie added, abruptly standing up. As she retreated down the hallway she sent a quick transmission to Keefe, telling him to meet her in the bathroom.
After a minute, Keefe jumped to his feet, knocking a few pillows off the couch in the process, exclaiming, "I need to use the bathroom too!" He then proceeded to walk down the wrong hallway.
"The bathroom is actually that way," Miss Peregrine called after him, pointing a finger towards the correct hallway when he turned to look at her.
Keefe turned on his heel and scurried off down the correct hallway, pausing when he realized he didn't know which door the bathroom was. Before he could start experimentally opening doors, though, the door to his left swung open and Sophie pulled him inside with her.
Sophie moved to sit on the ledge of the bathtub while Keefe boosted himself onto the counter.
Sophie and Keefe then sat in silence looking for all the world like two kids in a candy store. After about thirty seconds of silence Sophie burst out excitedly, "You saw Tam and Enoch, right?"
"Yes! The way they kept looking at each other!" Keefe squealed. Before Sophie's eyes, Keefe transformed into a teen girl who obviously loved nothing more than to gossip.
"Exactly!" Sophie exuberantly joined Keefe in his gossip girl session. "We need to do something about it."
"I know, but what should we do?"
"We should kidnap them," Sophie decided with a mischievous grin. "Force them to go out … like a blind date!"
"What's a blind date?" Keefe asked, already on board with this plan.
"It's basically a date two humans go on, but they won't know who the other person is going to be." Sophie supplied.
"Yes! That's exactly what we'll do! We'll kidnap them, and set up a date for them, and force them into it, and –"
"But where should we bring them? Like, when we kidnap them," Sophie interrupted Keefe's plotting, tapping her chin while making a duck face.
Keefe's eyes lit up as he suddenly blurted, "We can ask Elwin to help!"
Sophie looked at Keefe, a wide smirk stretching across her lips. She nodded enthusiastically. "That could work,"
Sophie and Keefe grinned at each other.
"Now for the hard part, though," Sophie muttered. "Going home without Tam noticing something's up.
"Yeah," Keefe agreed. "We'll have to be ninja spies about it!"
"Ninja spies?" Sophie laughed.
"I thought that's what humans called them,"
"Yeah, okay," Sophie scoffed, wondering what Keefe meant by 'them.'
"Now can you please get out? I actually need to use the bathroom." Keefe stated bluntly.
Chuckling, Sophie obliged and left after asking him, "What do you think about including Bronwyn in this? I feel like she'd be all in."
"Yeah, sure," Keefe shrugged, accepting her judgement as the door closed between them.
Sophie moved back out to the living room so Keefe could take care of his business in privacy.
At the entrance to the living room, Sophie called for Bronwyn. "Hey, can we talk down the hall?" Miss Peregrine and a few of the peculiars gave them looks but Bronwyn agreed.
Once they were out of hearing range of everyone else, Bronwyn asked, "So what is this about?"
"Well, Keefe and I were thinking, we should try to get Tam and Enoch together – but that might mean kidnapping. Do you want in?" Sophie rushed out, suddenly unsure obout her choice to include Bronwyn.
Bronwyn looked around to make sure no one was listening, then turned back to Sophie sporting a large grin and gave her a thumbs up, restoring her confidence. Then Bronwyn left to go attend to something.
Sophie made her way back to the living room once again and plopped down onto the couch. Although some of the peculiars had drifted from the living room most were still there. Including Enoch. Sophie silently eyed him. He seemed really interested in the carpet. As she watched his eyes flickered over to Tam before quickly going back to the ground again.
Sophie ha to suppress a giggle.
Turning her attention to Tam, Sophie confirmed to herself that he had the same problem. Only he was studying the wall instead of the carpet.
Sophie's shoulders shook with silent laughter as both boys looked at each other at the same time an then hurried to look away, both blushing beet red.
Finally, Keefe came wandering back out to the living room. Sophie jumped to her feet, saying, "Well, we really must be going."
"Already?" Olive whined, running to give Sophie a hug.
"I promise, Olive, I'll be back soon." Sophie soothed the young girl.
"You will?" Olive perked up excitedly.
Sophie eyed Tam and Enoch, the former still sitting on the couch and the latter the floor. They were both still avoiding eye contact. She smirked. "I have a feeling that we will be back very soon."
Olive happily ran off to go find Bronwyn.
Sophie turned her attention to Keefe and found him snatching up a pillow from the couch and cocking his arm back like he was about to throw it. She noticed his attention seemed to be on Tam, who still sat unawares on the couch.
Confirming Sophie's suspicions, Keefe launched the the back of Tam's head, jolting him back to reality from whatever dreamland he had been visiting.
Keefe then threw his arms out to the side, slapping Millard in the process, as no one knew he was there, and shouted, "Tam has reentered the room!"
Millard, ignoring Keefe's nonsense-to-him words, proceeded to shove him backwards. This led to an all-out wrestling match between the elf and the invisible boy, both angrily shouting words the other couldn't understand.
Before anyone could intervene, there was a thump on the floor and Keefe quickly drew his hand away from the seemingly empty floor beneath him, squealing.
The room heard Millard's voice groan, "Why did you punch my testicles!"
All the boys – sans Millard and Keefe, the former obviously in pain and the latter disgusted – snickered. Other than that, the room was silent.
Interrupting the laughter filling the room, Miss Peregrine clapped her hands, saying, "I do believe our guests have to leave now, so say your goodbyes.
"I am so sorry about Keefe, Miss Peregrine," Sophie apologized, grabbing Keefe by the shoulder and shoving him down the hallway towards the door.
Tam, with one last glance at Enoch, followed them, and without another word the three left.
After making a quick stop at Tiergan's place, Solreef, to drop off Tam, Sophie and Keefe teleported back to Havenfield where they then made their way to Sophie's room.
As they sat on the bed, Sophie spoke. "So we know Bronwyn will kidnap Enoch, but we need to delegate someone to kidnap Tam–"
"OOH! KIDNAPPING!" Ro, Keefe's bodyguard, almost knocked the door off its hinges trying to get inside Sophie's room as fast as she could. "I've got plenty of fungi that would be useful in kidnapping someone, but I would suggest Niezen, it's the funniest. It basically makes whoever is infected with it sneeze so violently that they knock themselves unconscious! Then we can just carry their body away! Great, right?" Ro informed the two elves enthusiastically.
Sophie and Keefe looked at each other, considering. "That could work," Sophie finally spoke, a grin stretching across her face as she got up to shut the door.
Ro looked quite pleased with herself.
"But now we need to find a good way for Bronwyn to kidnap Enoch." Keefe reminded Sophie, who was settling herself back on the bed.
"Who's Enoch?" Ro asked, intrigued.
Impatiently, Sophie filled Ro in on the happenings.
"So we're trying to get these two to smoochies? Hmm, what shall we name this new love incident..."
Ignoring Ro, Sophie told Keefe, "I have this sedative I used to use when I couldn't sleep, it's harmless, its only effect is that it makes you have really weird dreams."
"So we give this sedative to Bronwyn and, what, have her slip it into Enoch's tea?" Keefe wondered.
"Yes! Exactly, that's perfect!" Sophie blurted excitedly. "And we'll keep them at Elwin's house after we kidnap them. Now we need to ask Elwin though."
Sophie reached into one of her many pockets for her imparter and spoke the necessary words to hail Elwin.
"Sophie, what happened this time?" Elwin asked once they connected, getting up to retrieve his medical bag.
Without warning, Keefe grabbed Sophie's imparter and spoke, "We want to kidnap Tam and this other boy that Tam is crushing on, and we would like to stash them at your place?"
Elwin raised an eyebrow as he put down his medical bag. He smirked. "I'll get two rooms ready." Then he hung up.
Soon after, Edaline's voice sounded from the other side of the closed door. "it's time for Keefe to go home,"
"Alright, he's coming," Sophie called back, standing to pull Keefe into a hug.
After a minute, Keefe gently pulled away. "So when are we doing this?"
"Tonight." Sophie answered decidedly. She then told him – and Ro – where and when to meet her.
Grinning, after one more hug, Keefe left, Ro following, both excited for the events that were to come later that night.
When sunset hit, Sophie, Keefe, Ro, and Elwin were outside Miss Peregrine's house waiting for Bronwyn to make her appearance. Elwin had already set the two rooms up, Ro had infected Tam with her fungus and tossed his body over her shoulder, and Keefe had Sophie's vial of the sparkly pink sedative that gives you weird dreams.
Soon enough Bronwyn exited the house and approached the group, throwing a nervous glance towards Ro, unsettled because of her ogre appearance.
Sophie, of course, was the first to speak. "Pour this in a drink for Enoch, it's a sedative, and once everyone falls asleep bring him out here. We'll be waiting."
Bronwyn nodded, not questioning whether the sedative will be noticeable in a drink as she grabbed the vial from Keefe and walked back inside.
The group watched through a window as Bronwyn boiled some tea and pulled eleven glasses down from a cabinet. She called the peculiars in one by one as she poured the tea, pausing before Enoch's name to pour the sedative in his tea.
As expected, their plan was executed perfectly. Once the house was asleep Bronwyn came out carrying the unconscious dead raiser. She handed him to Keefe, who dropped him in the mud before picking him back up with a better grip.
Bronwyn, smothering her chuckles, waved goodbye and went back inside to bed.
Sophie teleported everyone else to Elwin's house, Splendor Plains, to prepare for when the two boys woke up.
