Chapter 6: Collared Business
As usual for early in the morning, Precinct One's 'bullpen' was filled with the usual noises and sounds of the large mammals that always found various ways to fool around before the morning brief. No one already inside even batted an eye when Fangmeyer and Wolford walked in, despite the pair normally being in the second shift of the day.
Though the room did get noticeably quieter when a coyote and a deer walked in right behind wolf and tiger pair. Eyes tracked the new pair of mammals as they followed the wolf and tiger closer to the front of the room.
Wolford was able to tell that Count and Trigger being in the room was going to draw everyone's attention. After all, it wasn't often that the bullpen was graced with the presence of someone who wasn't a cop. Sure enough, then the questions started.
"Fangmeyer! Wolford! Are these two those pilots I heard about? Clawhauser mentioned something about them-" Figures that the cheetah made sure that every cop in the precinct was already aware of the two new 'guests'.
"You know, I thought they'd be bigger. You sure it's them?"
For their part, Count glared defiantly at the officers, a slight smirk on his muzzle to show them that he wasn't afraid. Trigger just kept his head down and followed the wolf and tiger in front of him.
Motioning at a pair of smaller foldable chairs sitting behind one of the tables, Wolford ushered in the two after Fangmeyer. "Take a seat, doesn't matter which. When Bogo comes in, make sure to be quiet and..." He looked over the two then waved a paw at them dismissively. "Eh, you two already know how this goes." He himself sat down on his usual chair and immediately turned around to talk to the lion sitting behind him. "Johnson! How's the first shift doing? I have a feeling Fangmeyer and I are getting bumped into it again."
Completely ignoring Count and Trigger, Wolford went right off to talking with his fellow officers, seemingly forgetting that there was anything unusual sitting right next to him. Fangmeyer as well was busy catching up with the other first shift officers, and for the most part, the room went back to normal, loud talking and the occasional louder contest of strength as well.
This was the state of the bullpen when the dynamic duo of Nick and Judy walked in. The fox had a coffee cup in paw as he always did at this time of day. The duo greeted their fellow officers in the room as they usually did, only diverting from their usual walk to the front-most table to stop by the desk where Fangmeyer and Wolford sat.
Judy waved at the wolf and tiger pair. "Good morning!" she greeted enthusiastically, bristling with her early morning bunny energy. "Thanks for fetching them from down below, by the way!"
Fangmeyer shrugged nonchalantly. "Never seen a pair of mammals so unexcited to leave a cell. Sure, we did give them a bit of extra bedding for the night, but it's still a jail they slept in. Most mammals would have bolted straight outside."
"-Was comfortable enough," next to her, Trigger mumbled sleepily as he propped his head up on his paws, eyes closed. "...Too early..."
Wolford snorted in amusement. "I thought you pilots knew how to wake up early."
Count was eyeing his partner in such a way as though he was planning on pranking Trigger somehow. "Just because we know how to doesn't mean we like it," he countered, "we never got to sleep in at our last base. Not even on our days off. And now, since I am being forced to sit next to the idiot..." Reaching out, Count gave Trigger's elbow a sharp shove. To the coyote's credit, Trigger was able to stop his head from falling and hitting the table with nothing more than a small bob and a disgruntled snort.
Wolford watched the pair's antics with an amused grin on his muzzle. "I don't know about you, Count, but Trigger really reminds me of some of my younger siblings," he said, "must be a wolf thing." His eyes opened wide suddenly in realization. "That reminds me! Just a sec-" he leaned down to below the table and started to rummage through his backpack. After only a few moments, he sat back up, tossing Trigger a shirt. "I borrowed this from a younger brother of mine. He outgrew it years ago, but it should fit you much better than the spare shirt you have on now."
Trigger looked over the shirt, letting out a slight cheer at seeing the pattern printed on the front. Then, despite being in a room filled with mammals of both genders, he proceeded to claw off his oversized ZPD shirt and replace it with the new one he was just given. It did fit much better, and he tugged on it to flatten out the front to show off to Count with a cheerful expression.
The deer snorted and shook his head in a mixture of disgust and amusement. "Seriously, Trigger? I think you were just given a shirt for children."
The shirt had a picture of a jet fighter – more specifically several pictures of the plane as it rolled over its wings across one side of the shirt and to the other. The caption underneath the diagram simply stated 'This is how I roll'.
Seeing that his choice wasn't going to be wasted, Wolford grinned. "Well, glad I was able to pick correctly. Since the size is correct, I might even be able to borrow a few more." Trigger tilted his head in mild confusion. "Don't look at me like that," Wolford replied casually, "the pack compound is filled with old clothing we no longer wear. Usually it gets sent to the donation bins, but every now and then we are able to find more direct uses for it, such as now. The real test is to see how Bogo will react to it." He turned to Nick and Judy. "Speaking of the chief, you two better get to your seats before he walks in."
Nick waved a paw at the wolf. "No problem. Holler if you need anything from us!" He followed Judy to their shared chair. It was almost funny, really: they would have gotten appropriately sized stools for them if they had asked for them, but since using the one chair for the both of them worked well enough, Bogo never felt like it was urgent of an issue to get better fitting furniture for the two smallest officers in the precinct.
Looking back from their chair, Judy could see that Count had settled on waiting impatiently for the briefing to start, half glaring at Trigger next to him, who in the meantime was ready to doze off again. "Just a sec, Nick," Judy told her partner, and quickly hopped off the chair to walk back over. "Hey, Trigger, there's an extra chair next to Nick and I, if you want it," she told the coyote. Trigger only opened an eye partially to look at her as a reply.
Count grinned. "Yes, Trigger, you do want that." He pushed the coyote off the chair, ignoring the ensuring protest as well as Judy's glare. "Don't look at me like that," he told the bunny, "just doing both of us a favor."
Fangmeyer had stopped talking to the officers behind her to look at the commotion next to her. "You know, that's very rude of you," she told the deer. "Let me remind you that you are surrounded by police officers."
Count shrugged. "Trigger doesn't care that I fool around with him like that," he casually commented.
Wolford also took interest in what was going on next to him. "Still doesn't give you permission to act like a bully," he added to Erlenmeyer's scolding. "Last I checked, the two of you are adults. And pilots. If I had bumped into the two of you on the street, I would never have guessed that from how you are acting. If only for one reason, try to remember that you are embarrassing yourself." From the corner of his eye, he spotted Judy leading Trigger over to where Nick was waiting.
The rabbit watched the coyote nervously. "You know, Trigger, I suspect that Count enjoys pushing you around like that. It's not good for you to let him get away with it."
Trigger simply let out an annoyed sigh. "Not worth it," he finally answered, "besides, we both know that in the air, Count can't hold a candle to my flying. So he tries to make up for it by being bigger and meaner on the ground."
Judy shook her head in disapproval. "That's not a reason to allow him to push you around!" she retorted. "Remember yesterday at lunch? What would happen if you stood your ground to Count for once?"
"I'm a coyote," Trigger answered, a hint of anger creeping into his voice, "I think we both know what would happen if I tried to fight Count." They reached the chair where Nick sat, and Trigger used the opportunity to address him. "Isn't that right, fox?"
Nick took a sip of his coffee. "One, I believe you will find Bogo much more level headed than you give him credit for," he replied casually, "and two, I didn't hear Carrots say anything about resorting to violence."
The coyote opened his mouth to voice an angry reply, but was interrupted by Officer Higgins walking into the room. With the swift order from the hippo officer for everyone to stand at attention, it meant that the time for talking and arguing was over.
Chief Bogo walked in, a pile of papers in his hoofs. "Settle down everyone, and let's get this over with!" he commanded. Unlike normally, the buffalo stopped at the nearest desk to him and handed the stack to the nearest officer, who happened to be Snarlov. "Take one and pass the rest on," the chief instructed, "there's one for every officer in this room." The bear officer counted off enough of the papers to pass them down his row before handing the rest to the tables behind him.
Bogo walked behind the podium at the front of the room and gave a good hard glare at the seated mammals in front of him. "It appears that the first thing on the docket is to clear up the rumor mill going on around here." He waited until he was sure that the last of the officers in the room had received their paper. "Now, normally you all know how I introduce guests. That is, I don't care." He let out a soft sigh followed by a brief pause to let the room catch up to him, and to give some of the more curious officers a chance to actually glance at the paper. "But our government has forced me to care. Our federal government," he added, putting a lot of emphasis on the entity he was referring to, "which has kindly asked ZPD's precinct one to play hotel and host to two foreigners. Ocelotian pilots." He glared into the room, relishing in making the officers uncomfortable. "You can imagine what 'kindly asking' means, if you haven't read the paper handed out to you. And no, you don't have an option about signing it. Your signature, or your badge, those are the only two options, and you may not leave this room before you made your choice."
As soon as he said this, at least several officers were already reaching for pens. Bogo stopped them with an angry snort. "I don't care how much or how little of that paper you actually ready before you sign, but this way I know all of you know the most important part:" He waited just a bit to make sure that everyone were actually paying attention to him. "Anything you see or hear about either one or both of them, on or off the clock, if any of it escapes this building… I will find out who is responsible, and you will know what the inside of a cell looks like. Not my threat, but the ZIA's. Which brings me to the second important part: Do not be surprised to see federal agents in the building, do not be surprised if they will ask to talk to you. You will cooperate fully with them, and I better not hear any complaints about any of you from them." Bogo's gaze froze on a certain fox at the front of the room.
Nick gulped as he stared back at the chief.
"Normally, I do tolerate a certain amount of pranking and rough housing between you lot," Bogo continued, "do not think that just because I don't mention it that I am not aware of what is going on within these walls. As long as it's kept in check, the small games help officers get along, improves morale, the usual nonsense. However..." Bogo's eyes finally lifted away from Nick, who let out a sigh of relief at finally being out of the spotlight. "I will not be told when the ZIA or someone else important will decide to stop by for a visit. Because of that, as long as our two guests are with us, you will all be on your best behavior." His eyes snapped back to Nick. "Am I understood, Wilde?"
The fox knew better than to answer with one of his carefree retorts this time around. "Yes sir," he replied simply, earning a grunt of annoyance from his boss.
Bogo then looked down at his papers. "Can't have a politician take a wrong turn in these corridors and get ambushed by a stink bomb," he casually commented. "Yes, Wilde, I am well aware of that. The only reason you are still alive is because of the pristine job you made in cleaning up the mess. Don't ever do it again."
Nick's ears were folded over his head and the fox was close to breaking out in a nervous sweat. "Yes sir," he repeated quietly.
"Good." Bogo's angry demeanor lessened somewhat after this. "Good news for us is that after all of this is finished, the feds have promised to compensate the ZPD for the inconvenience. So if you lot behave really well, we might just see some of those precinct wish list items finally get checked off."
Normally such news would have been received by much cheering and hollering, but the tense mood meant that some of the braver officers only emitted a little bit of noise in their celebration. Bogo simply watched the room while waiting for the even slight amount of noise to stop.
"As for our two guests, I am planning on using them in a way that will suit us. Since the ZPD's role is simply to keep an eye out on them, I am going to use that to my advantage while I can." The buffalo's gaze went over to Count. "So you can wipe that cheeky smile off your muzzle right now, because as soon as I find a way to make the two of you useful, you will be working." Count's grin vanished and was replaced by an unamused frown. "So that also means-" Bogo froze mid sentence when he looked over at Trigger.
The coyote was sitting on the chair next to Nick's and Judy's, head leaning down, eyes closed. And snoring quietly.
The officers nearby who were aware of what was going on stared in a deathly silence, afraid to move. Trigger had violated the biggest rule of the bullpen: You never slept during a brief.
Judy reached out to shake the coyote awake, but a sharp snort from Bogo stopped her. Hesitantly, she pulled her arm back.
Bogo leaned down and grabbed something from inside the pedestal he spoke behind of. He stood back up, a large-mammal sized blowhorn in his grip. Silently walking over to the table where Trigger was sleeping, he carefully positioned the device right next to the coyote's ear before squeezing the horn.
The entire room erupted into laughter as Trigger flew off his chair with a frightened yelp, trying to escape the loud shriek right next to his head even before he knew what was going on. Well, almost everyone were laughing: Judy was looking downright horrified when Trigger's head missed the corner of the table behind him by just a hair's width, colliding with the ground in an audible thud instead.
Trigger scrambled to his feet in an undignified manner, ignoring the laughter of the rest of the room as Bogo returned to the back of the pedestal. The coyote winced as he rubbed the back of his head where it had hit the ground, just about in the same location as where Count had thumped him the day before as well.
Judy gave him a sad stare. "You were asleep," she explained quietly, despite the laughter still in the room, to which Trigger simply nodded in embarrassment.
"Everyone quiet!" Bogo ordered, his voice easily overwhelming the rest of the room' noise with its shear presence. "Now that you all had your laugh: assignments." Reading off his notes, Bogo proceeded to read off the list as though nothing unusual had just happened. For that matter, the listed off tasks were the usual for the middle of the week for the ZPD as well.
It was only when he got to the end that Bogo announced anything unusual. "Wilde, you will be paired with Fangmeyer for today," he read off the notes, "Hopps, you will be with Wolford. The four of you, meet me at my office after this. Bring Count and Trigger with you." He took one final look at his notes. "You all have your assignments. Dismissed! Hand those signed papers over to me on your way out."
The buffalo barely looked as everyone shuffled past him one at a time and handing over the paper to his waiting hoofs. In fact, his demeanor barely changed all the way until he was back behind his desk in the upstairs office. There, Count and Trigger again found themselves surrounded by the officers, but Bogo's attention was fixed very much on a nervous looking coyote. In fact, Trigger looked like he was ready to start shaking beneath Bogo's angry gaze.
The chief relished in the effect he had on Trigger, only snorting in anger when he felt that the silence had gone on long enough. "I hope you don't need to be taught why I do not tolerate anyone falling asleep in my briefing room," the muttered coldly, "you should be thanking your stars you are not one of my officers."
Trigger couldn't keep his own gaze locked with Bogo's, and lowered his eyes in submission. "Sorry sir, it won't happen again," he replied quietly. He earned himself another snort from the buffalo.
"Ultimately, your behavior is not why I brought you all in here," Bogo continued, "these arrived early this morning." He reached inside his desk. "I made sure that my personal views on these were very clearly stated: I do not condone the use of these, nor would I ever authorize any of my officers to use them. But as always, the decision was made for me."
From out of his desk, he pulled out two devices. Upon closer inspection, Judy's eyes widened in shock. "Sir, there's no way those are ill-"
"TAME collars were never illigalized, Hopps," Bogo replied swiftly, cutting her off before she could even finish asking the question. "Believe me, I checked when they arrived. As much as I would have loved to send these torture devices back, Animalia never actually banned their use, nor are their any more local level laws. It's one of those things that simply… fell out of favor, if you will. So when it comes to being ordered to use them, my hoofs are tied. Nor, Hopps, can you go and complain about them to anyone in this country. You can thank the Ocelotians for sending them in." He handed a collar each to Count and Trigger. "I believe a certain Colonel McKinsey was the one responsible for having these issued. A 'guarantee and protection that our two pilots behave themselves' was the words he used."
Count glared at the device in his grip. "That filthy no-good swine of an-"
"I will not tolerate that kind of specieist language in my office!" Bogo shouted, interrupting the deer.
"But he is a pig!" Count argued back. "A warthog, to be exact!"
Bogo's glare was enough to silence Count up. "You weren't referring to his species, and we both know that," he answered coldly, "so let me repeat myself: I will not tolerate specieist language. Not from you, not from anyone." He let out a frustrated sigh and leaned back in his seat. "I was able to get the Ocelotians to relent on requiring these to be worn at all times. As long as you are within ZPD boundaries, they do not have to be on, but otherwise, they are to be worn and be left on."
Count glared at the device in his hands. "There is no way that this is right!" he protested.
The chief simply stared back at the deer. "I agree with you, but the choice is simple," he answered, "you want to stay in this building, you can hand that back. You will find there is not much to do here, which adding that you are not an officer, narrows the list down even more."
"Gee, what a choice," Count said bitterly, "die of boredom, or be shocked to death." He was just about growling at the collar he was holding. "Trigger?"
The coyote glanced up at Count at hearing his name mentioned. "I… I wouldn't mind seeing the city again," he finally answered, but sounding rather uncertain. "I don't think this will stick out too much." Hesitantly, he reached up to his neck and fiddled with the collar, only lowering his paws when the collar was locked in place. "It's not even on, and already it feels terrible," he admitted. He lifted his paws up to his neck again as he adjusted the collar of his shirt to try and hide the offending device. To Trigger's surprise, Bogo was looking at him with pity in the buffalo's eyes.
"For what it's worth, I meant it when I said that I am trying to find something the two of you can do around here," Bogo said. "That way, you won't be bored here, and you won't have to leave those devices on." He reached into his desk and pulled out two more devices. The remote controllers for the collars. He handed one each to Fangmeyer and Wolford. "Considering how sticky this situation is, with international regulations being skirted all over the place," he suddenly grunted in mild amusement, "why do I feel like you went into the wrong business, Wilde. You would fit right in with those politicians."
Nick shrugged. "What can I say, Bogo, sir? A certain bunny lured me into a more honest living." He ignored Bogo's grunt as he flashed Judy a smile.
"Anyways," the chief continued, "as much as I would love to tell you that you can simply leave wear those collars but leave them off, I'm afraid others will be checking that we at the ZPD are doing all we could to make sure that there are no… attempts at freedom or other leaks." He stared at Count and Trigger, then turned his attention to the two officers with the remotes. "So if you have to, use them. But only if you have to. If I get even only an idea that one of you have used a remote in an inappropriate manner, it will be more than your badges that you will lose."
Despite Bogo's gaze, Fangmeyer didn't seem phased. "No need to worry about us, sir," she replied confidently, "Officer Wolford and I have our own reasons against these collars. We won't use them unless there is absolutely no other option."
"Good." Bogo looked genuinely pleased with the answer. "Which brings me to one final point – the reassignment of partners." The four officers looked at one another, trying to see why Bogo changed who was going to be with whom for the day. "Even with the collars, I have a feeling that they might not be enough to actually stop an escape attempt."
Count snorted in anger. "We're sitting right here you know! And I am not amused to think that you feel so lowly of us." Despite his complaining, the deer was also wearing his collar.
Bogo snorted again. "You never gave me a reason to suspect that you will behave, Count," was his reply. "And what I do believe is that even when the situation would call for it, that you officers won't use the remotes for the collars." As Fangmeyer opened her mouth to protest, Bogo cut her off with a quick look. "I am not saying this because I doubt your abilities as a cop," he said sternly, "but because I know that I myself would use the remote only when it would be too late. And, because you two pilots have already demonstrated a good ability in using your size as an advantage, you will be paired with officers who will bracket you in. One smaller, one bigger." He sighed and looked at Nick and Judy. "Since you two are the only smaller officers I have, you will be playing cubsitters for as long as required."
Judy smiled back at the chief. "Don't worry, sir. It's what we do here in the ZPD, after all," she answered.
The buffalo grunted. "Would have been easier if that wasn't necessary," he admitted. He looked over Trigger once more. "And lose that ridiculous shirt, and for all of you, dress warmly. You will be patrolling the Tundratown and Jungle district routes today. I hear the weather is set to be colder and wetter than usual."
It didn't take long for the meeting to conclude after this point, though not much else was said as the two pairs split off and got ready for the patrol. Bidding Nick and Fangmeyer goodbye, Judy and Wolford grabbed their gear and lead Trigger to the cruiser waiting in the motorpool.
Perhaps it was that he waited to voice his opinion until they were away from security cameras, but as soon as Wolford finished adjusting his seat to fit his size more properly, he smashed his fists on the dash in front of him. "This sucks!" he exclaimed loudly, "I swear those collars were banned years ago!"
In the back of the car, Trigger stared out the window. "Why are you even complaining? You're not the one wearing it," he finally said, "and I do want to see the city. So if I have to wear it, I guess I will suffer through it."
Wolford snorted in amusement. "I know you don't care, Trigger. You fell asleep during the morning brief. Right in front of Chief Bogo!"
"I didn't mean to!" Trigger protested, "...It just sort of happened. Today was the first time I've gotten any real sleep in, I want to say… over a week. So forgive me for still being tired."
"Still fell sleep in front of Bogo," Wolford repeated. "That takes some serious balls. No offense, Hopps."
From the driver's seat, Judy shrugged. "None taken." Before starting the engine, she turned around to look at the coyote in the back, her face serious. "We haven't left yet. You can still change your mind and stay here. You won't have to wear that… collar."
Removing his gaze from the window, Trigger stared back at the bunny with an annoyed expression. "Let me phrase it this way," he said, "do missiles lock onto and fly at the stupid collar? Am I at risk of being shot, bombed, or blown up by wearing it?"
Judy stared back blankly. "Uh… no?"
Trigger returned to staring outside his window. "Then a little electro-collar isn't going to hurt me, is it?" he asked, though some venom in his voice betrayed a hint of anger at the situation. He didn't say anything else, so Judy turned back to start the car up.
Next to her, Wolford had pulled out the remote, and was reading the instructions for it. With a simple press of a button, a quiet beep was heard as Trigger's collar turned on. While the coyote had chosen to remain in the shirt Wolford had given him, a faint yellow light shone though a gap in the jacket he wore over it.
As the car started to pull away, Trigger spoke up again. "Might as well get it out of the way, since I know both of you are too polite to ask..." An annoyed sigh escaped him. "Yes, I did kill mammals. Can't even say how many... But since they were trying to kill me at the same time, I don't even feel too bad over it… Such is the nature of war, you know? I've had to dodge missile attacks... I've hid in craters as our base was being bombed. And yes, I've been shot at. Even got into a number of paw fights."
The collar beeped and briefly flashed red. Both Judy and Wolford winced as a faint crackle of the collar going off. But Trigger didn't even appear to notice the shock. "But I guess what I want to say is… I would appreciate it if both of you would drop the topic of these collars. As bad as you think they are, I've been through worse."
From the passenger seat, Wolford whistled in surprise. "That's heavy. We hardly left and you already got buzzed. Got any other surprises for us, Trigger?"
As she drove towards the frozen areas of Tundratown, Judy gripped the steering wheel tighter even as Trigger didn't answer the wolf's question. The beep of the collar and a noticeably stronger crackle of electricity were answers enough.
She could only wonder if Nick and Fangmeyer were faring any better with Count.
Wolford, for his part, had another idea. He reached into his shirt pocket there he kept his notebook and pulled it out. Flipping to the last page, he let out a heavy sigh and wrote two simple words: Trigger jolts.
Beneath it, he jotted down two tallies.
