Shout out to baybay11 for the inspiration of the first half of this chapter. We're getting closer and closer to the launch party! Enjoy the chapter!
Olivia lay next to Charles and tossed and turned, unable to get comfortable. She sat up and looked at Charles and kissed him gently, getting up and walking downstairs to get herself a glass of water. She made her way back upstairs and into their bathroom. She got one of her anti-anxiety pills and took it with the water. After, she walked back into the bedroom, seeing Charles sitting up. She put her water on the nightstand and cuddled up next to him. "Go back to sleep, my love."
Charles held her and kissed her temple. "You okay?"
Olivia smiled gently. "I am, a little anxious is all. I'll be alright."
Charles propped himself up on his elbow. "You want to talk about it?"
Olivia shook her head. "Not right now. Really, I'm okay, let's just get some sleep. Big day tomorrow."
Charles pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her. "Okay, if you change your mind I'm right here."
Olivia cuddled up as close as she could get to him, resting her head under his chin. "I know. Thank you love," she whispered and closed her eyes, feeling the medication start to kick in. She fell into a restless sleep, whimpering and trying to move but Charles held onto her tightly. Her eyes shot open and she started to fight against him. "Let me go!"
Charles woke up and unwrapped Olivia from his arms, seeing her get up and back up against the wall. "Livia?"
Olivia shook her head. "No, don't touch me, please," she whispered, tears starting to stream down her face.
Charles got up and slowly walked towards her. "Livia, it's me. It's Charles. Talk to me."
Olivia's breath was heavy and she closed her eyes, opening them again. "Charles," she whispered and slowly walked over to him, touching his chest, looking into his eyes. "Oh, Charles," she cried and fell into his chest, sobbing. "I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry."
Charles held her and kissed her forehead. "It's okay. You're okay. I've got you."
Olivia nodded, taking deep breaths. "Thank you, Charles. For always being here."
Charles kissed her temple and smiled softly. "Let's go back to the bed and then you can tell me what happened."
Olivia followed him back to the bed. "I guess I can't keep it a secret anymore," she sniffled. She climbed in bed and moved closer to him. "Hold me?"
Charles wrapped his arm around her and turned her face towards him, smiling at her. "You never have to keep a secret from me."
Olivia gave a half smile. "I thought I'd worked through it to the point where it wouldn't affect me anymore. I thought I could be Wonder Woman again."
Charles rubbed her arm. "You are Wonder Woman. So you've had some bad things happen to you that left some scars. You don't think Wonder Woman had scars?"
Olivia closed her eyes. "I guess you're right." She let out a breath. "It's a long story, you sure you don't want to wait until the morning to hear this?"
Charles shrugged. "Are you going to be able to sleep without talking about it?"
Olivia looked at him. "No," she said softly. "Anything to deflect because once I start talking it's going to come tumbling out and I won't be able to stop it."
Charles pulled her into his lap. "Talk to me baby," he whispered in her ear.
Olivia nodded. "I guess I should just tell you everything, not just a part of the story." She rested against him and took a deep breath. "In my book, I talk about being kidnapped by William Lewis. Twice. But I didn't go into much detail. I didn't want to retraumatize myself, and I didn't want to traumatize my readers. But I'm, I had a nightmare tonight… about Lewis. And I know he's dead but every now and then he creeps up in my memory. The first time he beat and tortured me for four days. Kept me drunk and drugged, the only respite I got was when I'd pass out from the beating or the combination of alcohol and drugs.
He um… he brought me to a beach house and sexually assaulted me, made me— he made me preform oral sex on him, as a thank you for helping me to the bathroom. I choked and he hit me so hard I blacked out. He took me to the bed and handcuffed me. I just remember getting the iron bar off the bed and hitting him with it until I couldn't hold it anymore." She shrugged and wiped her eyes. "He died four times in the ambulance on the way to the hospital and I'm probably going to hell for this, but I wish they would have let him." She bit her lip and took a few deep breaths and then started talking again. "The trial was hard. He represented himself. He questioned me and turned everything into some sick twisted fantasy of his that I wanted all of it. That I wanted to take drugs and that I was in a hyper aroused frenzy, that it was all consensual. The jury believed him on most of it, too. That hurt more than anything.
Then the second time he kidnapped me, he lured me with a little girl, threatening to kill her if I didn't come alone. So I went. He tied me to a table, touched me, undid my pants… I told the little girl to look away. I didn't want that in her mind. She was traumatized enough already. When I refused to fight him so he wouldn't rape me he got bored, then forced me to play Russian Roulette. The bullet… the bullet fell on my turn, but instead of shooting me, he shot himself. Then there was a whole trial to see if I'd killed him. Of course I came out not guilty, but… I nearly lost everything. My job, my pension, my freedom."
Charles listened and once in a while whispered in her ear that it was okay, that he was there. "Livia I'm so sorry."
Olivia shrugged. "Tonight's nightmare was the beach house. That's why I fought against you and… I don't know why. Usually the nightmares anymore are about the second time he took me. I could feel something off before I really fell asleep. I got up and took an anti-anxiety pill. That usually helps but it didn't tonight." She took a deep breath. "You can't tell anyone. I could lose everything. They couldn't lock me up, I don't think because of double jeopardy, but I could lose my job and my pension. I could lose Noah. Please don't tell anyone."
Charles kissed her temple. "I won't say a word," he whispered. "Feel better?"
Olivia looked at him. "I feel better being in your arms, I'm not sure bringing up the entire Lewis story had much to do with it, but I'm glad I got it off my chest."
Charles held her tight. "Thank you for telling me," he whispered. "I'm glad you did. This way I can help if this happens again."
Olivia smiled and nodded. "Can we climb under the covers and cocoon ourselves? I'm cold and tired."
Charles smiled. "Anything for you my love."
They climbed under the covers and cocooned themselves in them, their favorite way to lay together, because while they were there, it was just them. Olivia leaned up and kissed him softly. "I love you Charles Brooks."
Charles smiled and held her close. "I love you too, Olivia Benson." He gently caressed her face. "Let's get some sleep, beautiful."
They both drifted into a restful sleep, one not plagued by nightmares. The next morning, Charles's alarm went off and Olivia groaned. "Sleep," she droned.
Charles wrapped her in his arms and kissed her gently, easing her into consciousness. "Morning beautiful. How are you feeling?"
Olivia smiled gently. "Like I have a hangover. And I'm tired. This happens sometimes after a bad nightmare. I'll be okay."
Charles smiled. "I know you will be. How about you sleep in and I'll get up and get the kids to school? Then I'll come home and hold you if you want."
Olivia looked up at him. "You'd do that for me?"
Charles smiled. "Of course."
Olivia kissed him softly. "You sweet, sweet, beautiful man."
Charles smiled and kissed her forehead. "Get some more sleep, I'll be back once the kids are off to school."
Olivia looked at him. "You aren't letting them walk alone are you?"
Charles smiled. "Now would I ever do that? I was thinking the nannies could walk them, then I could have some more time with my beautiful wife to be."
Olivia pulled him in for a kiss. "I love how you think. Check to see how Noah's feeling though. He wasn't feeling too well last night. Check for a fever and ask if his stomach is feeling better, I don't want him going to school sick."
Charles kissed over to her ear. "You are such a good mother," he whispered.
Olivia felt a shiver run down her spine. "Mm, thank you," she looked up at him. "Go get the kids ready. I'll be here when you get back."
Charles kissed her and pulled away, he saw her eyes still closed and her chest heaving. He'd left her breathless. "See you in a bit. I love you."
Olivia opened her eyes and she smiled. "I love you too," she whispered.
Charles got out of bed and went to wake up the girls and then Noah. He asked Noah how he was feeling and felt his forehead. "Oh, Bud you've got a fever. No school today. How about you lay back down and I'll bring you some breakfast, and I'll tell your mom you aren't feeling well?"
Noah nodded sleepily. "Okay, Charles." He climbed back under the covers and lay down, closing his eyes.
Charles got up and walked into the bedroom, kissing Olivia softly. "Noah's got a fever. He's laying down, I'm going to get the girls ready— or should I keep them home too as a precaution?"
Olivia stretched. "Let them stay home today, they'll have all weekend to rest and they'll hopefully be good to go on Monday."
Charles nodded. "Bianca looked a little queasy this morning. Maybe it's better."
Olivia smiled and kissed him softly. "There you go. How about you make breakfast, I'll call the kids out of school and we'll let everyone have breakfast in bed. It works out because we're both home all day today, all weekend, and all day Monday before my party."
Charles kissed her and caressed her face. "I love how you think, my love."
Olivia rubbed his chest. "Maybe once the kids are down for a nap we can have some adult time?"
Charles smiled. "If you're sure. I don't want to push after last night."
Olivia shook her head. "He took my sex life for months, he doesn't get to take any more of it. He doesn't get to interfere with my love life again."
Charles kissed her gently. "Your wish is my command, my love. Whatever you want."
Olivia blushed. "Go, before I ravish you." She chuckled.
Charles stood up and walked downstairs. "Okay girls, no school today. Noah's sick and we just want to keep you home just in case. How about you run up to your rooms and we'll all have breakfast in bed?"
Nicole gasped and clapped her hands. "Like princes and princesses!"
Charles smiled. "Yes, honey, like princes and princesses. Go put on your crown," he smiled and watched his girls go up the stairs to their rooms. He got started on breakfast, waffles and bacon. Once he was finished he brought Noah's up and told him to only eat what he could. Then he brought up Nicole's, then Bianca's and then made a tray for himself and Olivia. He walked in just as she hung up the phone and he smiled. "All the kids officially called out of school?"
Olivia smiled and picked up a piece of bacon, taking a bite. "Mm, they are all called out. So now we just have to entertain them until they get worn out and want naps and then we can wear ourselves out. Though we may only need to wear Nicole out if Bianca isn't feeling well either."
Charles kissed her temple. "Eat your breakfast, we'll worry about who needs to be worn out after."
A/N: Thanks for reading! Leave a review if you feel so inclined. See you next chapter!
