Starlight City – Tian-Fa Continent -
Ever since Izuku had left, the time-flow between the Continent's own universe and the young Chef's home one had returned to normal instead of remaining slowed-down as it was for the duration of the mission the System gave him, meaning that a couple months had already passed since the New Emperor sat on the throne and started fixing the damages made by the former, now dead, Emperor, the current one's father.
"Another wonderful day." Sun Mu-Cheng said, enjoying some tea and basking in the warms rays of the sun while sitting under the porch of the Clan's majestic compound.
"Chacha's pregnancy is coming along well, soon she will give birth." Su Mu-cheng, sitting next to him, said with a sigh.
"Still determined to kill her as soon as she gives birth?" The old man asked.
"I don't know anymore, grand-father. She was just a pawn in uncle's grand scheme for power, making her just another victim of Uncle Lao and the First Prince plans… But now that both are dead…" She said, sighing.
"You don't find it an appealing idea anymore." Sun said
"Indeed, my heart is full of doubts, Grandfather."
"I have witnessed your impressive sense of Justice, so I am sure you will take the right decision when the time comes, my dear Su. And no matter which decision it will be, Grandfather will support you." The old man said with a reassuring tone and warm smile, all the while looking at the sky and at the strange and gigantic pillar of light raising from beyond the horizon and reaching the clouds that were now twirling around the light pillar summit in a very dramatic way.
"Another Legendary Inheritance of a dead Supreme Master is opening-up?" Su asked.
"Yes, it's the fourth one this week. And as usual the Excessive light-show has attractedmany Young Masters with Gold Attitude/Background that have immediately rushed there to claim it."
"… Want to bet that yet another "Weak 'strange' Stranger from the weakest village, in the weakest land and with the weakest Cultivation Attitude" will get it instead?" Su asked, smirking.
"Eh! No bet, my dear! Hahahaha! I too started seeing some strange patterns ever since we met Sir Izuku. Sometimes I feel like the only sane man in a land of fools, or at least like the only actor in a badly-written play that can see how bad the play's plot is!" Sun Mu-Cheng answered with a thunderous laugh.
"Hohohoho! Same here! I am glad I am not alone in this!" The young woman answered, sharing a laugh with her beloved grandfather.
"Speaking of our benefactor, what do you think he is up to?" The old man asked.
"People like him never stay still for long, so I guess he is already deep into another mission for his Sect, and with the Ancestral Taotie as his Pet Companion and Sir Whitey as his Puppet Guard, he will be far too safe!" Su answered, smiling cheerful.
"Yes, with them traveling with him, his skills and that knife, I don't see him not walking the path to Greatness. But still, should he need, he will only need to ask and the Mu-Cheng Clan will go to the rescue." Sun said.
"Exactly, grandfather!" Su answered, nodding.
"Do you want to visit Meng Hao's Restaurant for dinner? This old man feels like going out tonight and enjoy the Flower Festival a bit."
"A very splendid idea. I will see if Jun wants to join us then."
Said that, both old man and young woman returned to enjoy the warm sun of their peaceful morning, and masterfully ignoring the ruckus of any Young Master passing close to the compound's outside tall walls whining about some strangers technically weaker than them and still beating them 'for some mysterious reason'.
At the same time – Serena City – 'The Hanged Boar' Inn -
Similarly to what happened in Tian-Fa Continent, in the lands of dragons, Elves and Dwarves as well things had returned to normal, same with the Flow of Time that was no longer held back to let Izuku stay there for days without missing work days back home.
"Pork Knuckles: Green Bean Style! Who asked for them?" The Inn owner, Rosmerta, asked while holding on her shoulder a massive tray full of plates.
"Me, thank you." Thirstruil the Dwarf Master Brewer answered, smiling.
"Mine has well!" The dwarf woman sitting with him, Drunkhilde, answered.
"There you are!" The massive woman answered, and delivering the two plates to the two Master Brewers.
"Thank you!"
"A minute and I will bring here your plates of golden mustard wings as well." Rosmerta declared before leaving the table to deliver the other plates she was holding.
"Heeyo! Those wings are still not tasty like the original, but it's still a good dish!" Drunkhilde said, chuckling, while enjoying the food.
"Be nice! She is still trying to replicate a recipe she only ate once and one she only heard your description about." Thirstruil answered, snorting in amusement.
"Still a bit unsure about letting people use our prized Dwarf Beer for cooking instead of drinking it, not everybody can make it justice, if you ask me."
"Let's give them a chance, we did meet a young Human able to make miracle dishes with that!" the other answered.
"Eh! I believe young Izuku was just the odd one out of the bunch! Are we sure he is not of Dwarf descent instead? He showed far too much love for our Beer!" She answered, smirking.
"Dear Izuku was pretty sure of his heritage, but who knows! Maybe he does have a dwarf or two far back between his ancestors!" Thirstruil said, laughing.
"He fights as hard as one, I wouldn't be surprised!" Drunkhilde answered, laughing as well.
"And he has the Magnetism of one, not everybody can attract a Viera as fierce as his woman and keep her!"
"Oh, shut-up!" Drunkhilde answered, punching his arm.
"So feisty! Hahahahaha! I say we have a toast: To our human friend!" He said, raising his big mug of beer.
"To him! May his path be full of success! And should he ever need our help, may our axes and hammers be ready to bash the skull of his enemies to pieces!" she answered, raising her own mug.
"To Izuku! the Human Master Chef! CHEERS!" Both Dwarves said, slamming the two giant glassed together while laughing.
SLAM!
"Rosmerta! We need a pint!" A poor guard yelled in need after roughly pushing the Inn 's double doors open with a bang.
"Make it two! No! Three!" The guy's companion added.
"Uh? Tiring week?" The Inn owner asked, chuckling.
"Yes!" Both guards said with a miserable expression, tiredly taking away their helmets and basically collapsing boneless on their chairs.
"You look stressed, what happened?"
"We fucked-up and as punishment we were assigned to guard duty in the Dungeons." Guard 1 said.
"And that is usually bad already, with stupid Rogues trying over and over to use their Pet Partners to steal the keys… And my Gods there is nothing worst that a trained rat that climbs on your leg to steal a key." Guard 2 added, shivering in revulsion.
"Ugh! Disgusting."
"Then there are the usual 'Help! My friend is strangely sick! Come inside and have a look while everybody else is suspiciously not helping!" Guys, or the ones hanging from the ceiling thinking we can't see them so to pull off the empty cell trick… You know… The usual." Guard 1 said.
"Yeah, I got plenty of stories from your so-called 'Punishment Shift', but what made you two look so disheveled?" Rosmerta asked.
"The two new 'Guests' are driving every guard there up the wall… 'I am the protagonist! The story can't continue without me! Where is my Waifu Harem!? Why are they not coming to my rescue?!', or 'This is the part where the Prince and the Guards get inside the Prison and we have an orgy before I escape and marry the Prince of another country!' and many, many, MANY similar screams of nonsense." Guard 2 answered with a sigh full of misery.
"We thought that if we closed them in the same cell they would either fuck or kill each other, instead they spend all their time arguing and trying to one-up each other as a Protagonist or whatever." Guard 1 added.
Many guests that heard them groaned at that, since the rumors of those two psychos and their mad ramblings were by now famous in the entire kingdom.
"Why the King didn't kill them yet? They got into plenty of crimes to their name, enough to justify their getting hanged," Rosmerta asked.
"A strange mixture of pity and wish to prolong their punishment just a bit more before actually killing them. Some even hope that prison will straight them up and make them become normal people. As a form of Shock Therapy, basically." Guard 2 answered, shrugging helpless.
"And now we will have to deal with them for at least two months, that was what the Captain said when he punished us." Guard 1 said, eyes cloudy in tears.
"I don't envy you." Rosmerta answered.
"Booo-oooooh!" Both guards started crying in unison.
All in all, Life continued as normal in the worlds Izuku visited during his Sorties and Missions, and soon another world will be visited by the young Chef.
Meanwhile – Izuku's home world - UA Dormitories -
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
"SHE IS STILL CRYING! WHAT THE FUCK?!" Kyoka covered her ears in desperation, crying fat tears of agony and shaking on the floor as if suffering from seizures.
"I LOVE HIM SO MUUUUUUUCH! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
"YAOYOROZU! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! STOP!" Aizawa begged from the entrance door to the dormitories and already unwrapping his capture weapon to try silencing the girl with it.
"THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HER?! MONEY-BAGS, SHUT THE FUCK UP!… PLEEEEEEEEASE!" The volume was so high even Bakugo had to admit defeat and beg for the sound torture to stop while covering his ears in agony.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Tiny dolls shaped like her and Izuku kept randomly falling from her arms, all adorned by tiny hearts.
"SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING! PLEEEEEEASE!" Tooru begged in tears, behind her Sato was dragging away poor Tsuyu that had instead lost consciousness after the wailing Momo had shaken the girl too hard in her happiness, enough to have the frog girl grow too dizzy to remain conscious.
"I AM HERE!" Finally, Nemuri made her appearances accompanied by Present Mic.
"THANK GOD!" The students and Shota yelled as one in relief.
"Yaoyorozu!" Midnight yelled.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAH- Yes?"
Puff!
Thump!
"…" A small puff of the woman's Quirk and the wailing Heiress dropped down on the floor, snoring faintly, and somehow in a cutesy way, while clutching one hand to her chest protectively.
"… Aaah!" The students and both Aizawa and Hizashi exhaled in relief once silence was returned.
"Sweet silence!" Kirishima said with a broken smile and a voice full of relief.
"I swear, if she gave me tinnitus…" Tokoyami muttered angrily while fixing his ruffled feathers.
"What the hell happened?" Nemuri asked while watching Ochako use her Quirk to turn Momo weightless so that she and Mina could drag the unconscious woman to her bedroom.
"No clue! It was all so freaky!" Kaminari said, unnerved.
"She just got through the door with a wide unhinged smile, looked at her hand and just… Just… Started crying and screaming!" He then said.
"It was scary." Koda muttered, and giving a small grateful smile to Mezo as the other comforted him.
"Oh?" The teachers muttered, confused.
"Basically, she and her boyfriend, Midoriya-san, are engaged, he is her fiancee." Kyoka said, shakily returning to her feet.
"Aaaaw! Yes! I do remember that!" Nemuri gushed.
"Oh yes! The young Chef! Curious tastes, but still, good for her! At least he is a nice guy." Mic said, shrugging.
"Hu-uh, we already know that. What happened now?" Aizawa, as the sworn enemy of everything romantic he was, asked with a bored tone.
"It seems like her boyfriend lately was trying to find the proper Engagement Ring he saw as worthy of her… And now he found it, apparently." Mezo answered.
"And we are almost certain he also had some very romantic words to add to that, because I believe she quoted those while crying." Tenya, still giddy about his brother miraculous recovery, added.
About that, Tenya had kept his promise and never admitted a single detail about Izuku's involvement in Tensei's full recovery, but he had still sworn to return the favour and be there for the young Chef if he needed, no question asked. No matter what Izuku needed, even if illegal.
"You believe?" Mic asked.
"She was already crying, screaming and babbling too much, sensei. I am sorry I could not understand what she was saying. I am ashamed of my short-comings!" The young man answered, actually looking ashamed.
"Naah! It's okay, Listener! Don't worry!" Mic answered, showing a gentle smile that helped the student relax.
"Basically, the ring he gave her has three stones: A Ruby, an Emerald and a Sapphire, because each represents a promise he made her. Something about him giving her his heart (literally), him giving her everything under the sky if she asks and… Something about him promising her that their future will be bountiful?" Kyoka said, gagging a bit since she too was not much into fluffiness.
It was the kind of promise people in Zaus world made when getting into an Engagement with somebody. And the "bountiful future" thing was a version of the engagement vows used by Chefs: since Ingredients and Cooking were such important things in their world, a Chef promising their future espouse that they will do everything in their power to make sure Good Food was never lacking was the same as them promising to their special somebody a good and fulfilling life with little to no hardships.
"AAAAAAAAAW!" Nemuri just gushed very hard again.
"That's cheesy." Aizawa answered, rolling his eyes.
"Well, Miss Joke seemed to like it since she too was in the Restaurant with us when Izu gave Momo the ring and told her all that." Ochako answered, returning inside the room with Mina once tuckered Momo to bed.
She wasn't jealous. Per se. She knew Momo was there first and was the original woman he had decided to spend the rest of his life with, and both Rumi and Nejire too knew that, but that didn't mean that the three girls would not find themselves looking at their empty finger with a bit of expectations as well, but they won't push him, not at all, they can wait and work hard towards their own engagement ring, no pressure.
"… Joke was there?" Everybody missed the faint tone of horror in the back of Aizawa's voice.
"She was. Why?" Ochako asked.
"That ring is so pretty! My God, those are not jewel stones, they are jewel ROCKS! The thing emits light on its own!" Mina said with a tone of absolute envy.
"I want a super expensive ring too!" Tooru said with a whine.
"You two can't treat Love like an economic transaction…" Tsuyu said with a weak groan once finally returned to the land of the awake.
"That's pretty shallow!" Aoyama added, huffing haughtily.
"HUSH!" Both girls answered, face red in shame.
It was not just expensive, Izuku had personally carved those stones out of the Carapace of three different Gourmet World Creatures with an Insanely-High Capture Level, but he had treated that near-death experience as worth it once seen Momo's smile, same going with the insane amount of EXP Points he had to pay to add them to his Restaurant's storage island as Ingredients.
"… Joke was there… She heard… She saw..." Aizawa was ignoring all that, just looking outside the dorms, at an area of shadows in the school grounds.
And he could swear he saw two luminous, ominous eyes looking at him with no soul behind the two unblinking orbs.
"Zawa?" Mic asked.
"Shoooootaaaaaaa…" A whispering voice called out from the darkness, carried by the cold winds of the underworld.
"I GOTTA GO! YOU GO TO SLEEP OR WHATEVER! GOODNIGHT!" And on the last echoes of that scared scream, the brave Pro Hero Eraserhead gave a spectacular show of acceleration as he managed to go from "Almost asleep while standing" to "Top Running Speed" instantaneously while running away.
"What?" Nemuri asked, confused.
"SHOTA! GET BACK HERE AND GIVE ME MY OWN RING! GIMME MY RING! MY PRECIOUUUUUS!" Her answer came in the form of Miss Joke bursting out of the shadows she was hiding in to chase the escaping Aizawa.
"AAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Commitment! Shota Aizawa's biggest fear!
"… Oooooh!" Both her and Mic said as one, thinking that maybe Nezu had let the woman enter so to provide the Rat with some late evening entertainment with her chasing her obvious crush through the entirety of UA Grounds.
"Well, this signals the end of the evening entertainment, it's time for you kids to go to sleep!" Nemuri said while clapping her hands a little while showing a wide smile.
"Aaaaaaw!" The students of Class 1-A answered as one with a childish whine.
"No need to tell me twice," Bakugo said, stretching a bit and moving towards his own room while yawning.
"But it's still so early!" Mina said, pouting.
"Tomorrow we will have a small meeting with the Pro Heroes you had your Internship with, and both us of UA and them will have you go through a small test to gauge your progresses, so you need to be well-rested! Showing-off needs lots of energies, you know?" Present Mic answered, smirking.
"Okay, Sensei!" The students answered as one, with various degrees of conviction, most were frowning a bit though.
"Uhm… Nine hours before dawn, and the Mission with Izu will last Nine days. That thing really does things with maniacal attention to details." Ochako looked at her watch and then remembered The System's details about the Sortie in another world.
She had barely twenty minutes to prepare before the Entity will whisk her away, and the thing made it clear it won't be waiting for her to get ready, it was already a big concession that the System will make sure nobody will come looking for her while she was gone, apparently.
"That thing could at least not make it sound like we are forcing them to let us accompany Izuku at least." The girl thought, sighing in annoyance and marching to her room to get ready for her Extra-Dimensional Trip.
Twenty Minutes later – Another Dimension – Earth Orbit -
A strange rock formation housing on top a clearly evil-looking fortress built with black bricks was silently orbiting the planet, covered by a colorful bubble that stopped satellites and the occasional space station from noticing the obvious intruder in the normal, everyday view of the planet.
Inside the Evil fortress, an assortment of bright pink winged devil-like creatures hurried through the corridors while going through their own jobs as servants of the Lords of that castle, each little devil paying extra attention to not dirty the blood red carpet on the floor and avoiding the eyes of the evil-looking living portraits filling the walls… And silently cursing their Lords for insisting to use creepy chandeliers and candles to light every room, because while in the void of space those tiny candles, those too black of course, didn't give off enough light, meaning that visibility was atrocious.
"Aesthetics my ass, I can't see shit!" One of the tiny devils muttered, again tripping on its own feet.
"Sssh! Don't make them hear you! And just fly like I do, at least you won't trip on their precious carpet!" The thing's friend answered.
"Yes, yes. Bunch of Emo Weirdos…" The thing answered, huffing annoyed.
Throne Room -
Unaware, or uncaring, of the mounting displeasure of their servants, the Lords of the 'Castle of Eternal Night' congregated in the Throne Room to plan their next course of action, all of them dressed in either BDSM Leather Gear or with far too many spikes and belts adorning their leather corsets, even their capes were far too long, but they just took care of just not step on each other cape instead of just shortening them.
"All Hail Nightmares and Darkness!" The ones standing said.
"All Hail Nightmares and Darkness!" The woman with excessive make-up and black lipstick sitting on the throne, and wearing the shoulder pads with the most spikes of them all, along a metal bra with twelve inches long cones covering her breast, answered.
"Why our Dark Evil Lord of Nightmares, Darkness, Evil and Depression has not been awakened yet?" The Queen of Evil, Darkusia, demanded while accepting yet another apple a minion handed her while kneeling.
"Apples again?" A Fabulous Man with dark-purple lipstick asked with a whisper.
"Evil only eat apples, so people know they are evil jerks. That's what she said when I dared to ask." A woman in 'Mistress Gear' and piercings everywhere whispered in answer.
"That can't be healthy." He muttered, grimacing.
Behind them, another small devil was sobbing uncontrollably as it walked with its head low towards the Queen personal bathroom to once again clean-up her messes, but nobody cared enough to notice the thing and its desperate wailing.
"Indeed."
"STOP GOSSIPING! I asked you a question!" The Queen, luckily missing what they were actually talking about, yelled with a booming voice.
"My Beloved Queen! We are trying, I swear!" The Leader of the group said with an exaggerated flourish while kneeling in front of the Queen, with black rose petals somehow appearing at each and every movement he did, soon covering the floor around him in a thick carpet of petals.
"It's just those Stupid brats getting in the way!" The Goth jailbait Loli, in truth two thousand years old (Totally! believe us!), added with a frown while licking in an overly-indecent way the giant, spiked lollipop in her hand.
"Them again?!" The Queen said with a roar.
"The Guardians of Love, The Idols of Friendship, The Pretty Warriors of Cuddles and the Navy Senshi of Sweetness. Those four groups keep being a thorn in our side! OOOOH! If only we could find the Four Sages of Hugs and Kisses that choose those girls as members! NNNNH! I would destroy them so goooood!" The thin guy "dressed" only with several leather belts clasped around his body in layers to form a skin-tight bodysuit, said with groaning moans, all with a ball-gag in his mouth, somehow.
"Then keep searching!" The Queen ordered, grabbing a glass full to the brim in red wine, taking a tiny sip and then smashing the still full glass on the floor, prompting a sighing servant to switch it with a new full one before moving to brush the floor to remove the shards.
"We will find them. Have no fear." The last member of the group, a guy in black medieval armor with spikes everywhere answered with a gruff, extremely-deep gravely voice. He was also the size of a five years old kid, ruining his image a bit, but at least he tried.
"It's not fear! It's a matter of timing!" The Queen answered, taking a sip and throwing away yet another glass of wine, this time against the wall.
"… Sigh!" Again the servant put on the small table next to her a new glass and then moved to remove the shards.
"His Terrorness! Obscurus The Endless Nightmare of EvilandDarkness and Depression and That Uncomfortable feeling by the stomach area that you just know means that something bad is going to happen, must return! And we need to harvest the innate Darkness inside the hearts of the humans to achieve his Glorious Rebirth! And we'll need to collect lots of it before the next solar eclipse that will happen at the same time the planets will align and will fall in an even-numbered day of an uneven-number month! And we can't do that if those brats keep getting in the way!" The Queen of all things Evil and Dark said.
"I say we send another Evil Creature of Evil. We may have failed the last one-hundred and sixteen times, but maybe this time we will win!" The Black Rose Petals guy answered, flicking back a long fringe of his black hair again and summoning yet another wave of petals to add to the pile behind him that now reached his knees.
"What if we send two?" The Legal Loli added.
"Oooh! That's a good idea!" The belts guy answered.
"Uhm… Yes, look for two good hosts and send The Evil Twins!" The Queen said, and breaking her third glass after another single sip.
"Goddamnit…" The servant muttered under its breath while replacing the glass with a new one.
"Yes, our beautiful Queen of Darkness and Evil!" Her underlings answered as one, leaving the room one after another to make sure to not trip on each other capes.
On Earth – Sunnydale City -
While that strange meeting was taking place, Izuku and Ochako had just arrived inside the very colorful city, and exiting an alleyway to join the flood of people clamoring the streets.
"So this is another world, hn?" Ochako asked, looking everywhere in wonder.
"This one is at least similar to our own, compared to the others," Izuku answered, chuckling, and grateful about Whitey being big enough to easily helping them have enough room to move through the crowd of people around them.
"Kyun." Shiro, around Izuku's neck, gave a huff and returned to sleep.
"While I appreciate it, it could make finding that creature you need harder if everything is just so modern."
"It's okay, Occhan. We'll figure something out."
Bump!
"Hey!" The young Hero Student grumbled when somebody bumped into her.
"Oh! Sorry, I was just distracted!" The Pretty Boy with short blond hair said while dramatically covering his face with one hand, and there were even visible bishy sparkles around him.
"Don't worry about it." Ochako answered, and just walked away, uncaring.
"...I said… I am sorry I bumped into you." The guy said again.
"Yes, and I said that it is not a problem." she answered, shrugging.
"… That's it?"
"Sorry, what is supposed to happen?" Izuku asked, curious.
"Mind your businesses, boy. As for you, my dear pretty girl, please, let me offer you a smoothie as an apology as I talk to you about how pretty I find you to be. My tre-" The guy trying saying, flicking back a fringe of hair.
"No." Ochako bluntly answered, eyes half-lidded in annoyance.
"Uh?!" The guy, besides painfully biting his tongue, uttered in confusion.
"Honestly, I saw plenty bad 'Pick-up strategies', but yours is still one of the worse. Sorry, pretty boy, I am taken." Ochako answered, latching to Izuku's arm making his face flush red.
"But! You? Taken? By him?! I am pretty and usually get every girl I bump against so to start some sweet sweet Shoujo Manga Teen Angsty Romance and… Pick-up strategy?!"
Clamp!
Suddenly Whitey's big left hand clamped HARD on the guy's shoulder, forcing him to turn around to meet the robot's red eyes.
"Troublemaker, stop bothering The Host and his girlfriend." He said.
"But I-"
"Beat it, himbo." The Robot cut him off.
"HIMBO!?" The guy shrieked.
"Whitey, let's just go." Izuku, sighing in annoyance, said.
"Yes." The robot answered, falling in step to follow both Izuku and Ochako as they walked away.
"Hey! You-"
SLAM!
"For Goodness sake." Shiro thought while rolling his eyes, and with an imperious whipping of his fluffy tail the guy was sent flying in a rather beautiful arch that ended with him landing head-first inside a full dumpster thanks to an invisible force.
"Seriously, one can find horny weirdos everywhere." Ochako said with a sigh, still holding onto Izuku's arm and leaning her head on his shoulder.
"He was very insistent." Izuku admitted, smiling and leaning his head on top of hers.
"Some guys are just unable to take no for an answer, especially when they have been told to be pretty once too many, their Ego just grows too much." She added, making him chuckle.
"Yep! Pretty sad."
"Sorry! Coming through! I am late for school! Forgive me!" A girl in High-school uniform ran past them in that precise moment.
"… Did she have a toast in her mouth? People really do that?" Izuku asked, eyebrows high.
"That was not the problem, Izu-kun… The toast in her mouth was also still inside the toaster, that's the problem!" Ochako answered, eyes wide.
"Coming through!" Another girl ran past them, this time wearing a classic Japanese temple maiden outfit that she was slowly shedding off to show the schoolgirl uniform under it.
"… What?" Both teens said.
"Seriously, those two! Always late." What came next was a short kid girl, looking no older than ten, and looking at the two running girls with a sigh of exasperation escaping her.
"One of them is your big sister?" Izuku asked to the short girl, she was even shorter than Mineta and Eri.
"What? No. I am their teacher! Nice to meet you! I am Takibana Tae, 60 years old and single and yet still young at heart!" The tiny girl said, smirking and lighting a cigarette.
"Nice to meet you…" Ochako answered, unnerved.
"Same here." Izuku muttered, uncertain.
"Now sorry, but I have a school to run." the girl said, opening the door of a massive car parked nearby, and letting hundreds of empty cans of beer fall down on the ground, and once sat behind the wheel she sprinted away while ignoring every known driving rules.
"…" Izuku, Ochako and Shiro just looked at the scene with wide eyes.
"… Let's look for a room somewhere." Ochako said, faintly.
"Okay." The young Chef answered.
Not too far away – 'Sunny Sun Happy Valley' High-school – Classroom -
Young Michiko was huffing bored while waiting for her teacher to arrive, she also had a super-secret, she was Fluffy Pink, Leader of the Magical Girls group called Idols of Friendship! The cutest warriors of friendship in the World that protected Earth from Evil in the name of Friendship, Love, Cuteness and Gentleness.
(Dry heaving).
But while she loved the super frilly white dress her and her friends wore when fighting Evil, she still had to go to school and learn all the boring stuff like Math or History, why couldn't she study Shopping? She was good at it! Or Boys! She liked boys!
Big Boys.
Itty-Bitty Boys.
Mississippi Boys.
Inner City Boys.
The Pretty Boys with the bow tie.
A Clean Beard, a clean face...She didn't discriminate!
She just loved dragging a couple boys in the PE shed and get to suckin-
"Ah! I am wandering off again in memories." Michiko shook her head slightly to regain focus.
"Aah! Michiko-chan is sad! This won't do!" The girl's best friend, and fellow Idol, asked with her usual super-charged sexy Ara Ara voice that made every boy within earshot squirm in their seats in discomfort, and many of those poor boys wondered how will they survive their time at school with a stacked classmate whose normal tone of voice was hot like that by default.
"Sorry, Yuchiko-chan! I am just lamenting my bad luck with boys! The only one that gives me any attention is my stupid Childhood Friend! I can't find a worthy boyfriend!" Michiko said.
"I know! I have similar bad luck!" The tall and buxom pink-haired girl answered with a sigh that was the closest thing possible to an actual sexual moan while barely keeping things family friendly.
"Are we too ugly?! No boys wants us!" The third friend of the group, Puchiko, a living tomboy stereotype, added as she slammed both fists on her desk making her chest bounce heavily while the camera was 'casually' pointed at her breast with a far too close zoom, by coincidence of course.
"What do we miss?! Why boys avoid us?!" The Idols and their Leader yelled as one in despair.
"We have the looks! The Style! The Brain (Sorta), the colorful hair! What are we missing?! We even have big tits!" Another Idol, Tichiko, said while pointing a finger at each of her friends.
"We all have some serious honkers!" She said.
"Michiko has damn real set of badonkers!"
"I do!" Michiko said smugly, puffing out her chest that shook and bounced far too much to be normal.
"Yuchiko is packin' some big dobonhonkeros! Those are bigger than my head!"
"Ara! And my back always hurts so much since they are so heavy! I can't even wear a bra because they don't make them my size!" The girl said with a miserable expression while palming said giant breast.
"NGH!"
"Bro!" One of the boys shrieked in fear once seen his best friend hunch over his desk in 'Pain'.
"Those were...My favourite...Pants…" The poor guy said, groaning in defeat.
"And what about Lichiko?! She has massive dohoonkabhankoloos! Why no boy wants her?!" The girl kept saying, uncaring.
"We do want you!" The boys in class, all of them with suspicious bandages and casts around their wrists, said as one with a miserable expression.
"Not you, losers! You are just faceless background characters in our life!" Tichiko answered, grumbling annoyed.
"And what about me?! Are my big ol' tonhongerekoogers anything to sneeze at!? I should have lines of boys ready to Kill to date me!" She then said.
"Ah-Hem." The last member of the group cleared her throat, the silent Uber-Kuudere of their group.
"Right! Poor Sachiko! Boys here must be cowards and fear her strong personality to even just notice her even bigger bonkhonagahoogs!"
"Indeed. Nobody wants me." Sachiko answered with a monotone voice, while also kicking away the boy sprawled on the floor offering her his eternal devotion while kissing her shoes.
"MY GODDESS! I LOVE ONLY YOU!" The Simp shrieked in need and fanatical devotion.
"Nobody." The girl repeated, uncaring.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"Silence in class! We have a new student that decided to join our school, so treat her well. This is…" The teacher, looking so young compared to her real age she needed a stool to actually sit at her desk, said.
"I am Poporiko. Please treat me well! HOHOHOHOHOHO!" The girl with improbable hair made of only hair drills, said with a haughty laugh and the back of her left hand leaning against her cheek.
"…. I Hate her." Michiko said, growling.
"Is she your Rival?" Lichiko asked.
"Starting now." She answered.
"Rival it is! She even has humongous big hungolomghononoloughongous! She clearly is our Rival!" Tichiko declared.
"So you are my classmates? HOHOHOHOHO! Not very impressive!" The new arrival said, again with the rich anime girl laugh.
"You'll see! Starting today we are bitter rivals!" Michiko hissed.
"Indeed!" Poporiko answered, just as angrily.
Pippi-Pippi-Pippiripi!
Lala-lala-lalalaaaa!
In that moment, a very tacky heart-shaped ruby brooch on Michiko's massive chest and a heart-shaped blue crystal acting as belt buckle on Poporiko's THICCCC hips gave off two overly-cheerful jingles.
"That crystal…" Michiko said with wide eyes.
"That brooch!" Poporiko echoed, equally shocked.
"We are the Idols of Friendship. I am the Leader , Codename Fluffy Pink ."
"… Navy Senshi of Sweetness, I am their Leader: Strawberry Punch ." Poporiko answered.
"So we fight on the same side?" Lichiko asked.
"So it seems."
"You know what this means," Michiko said.
"Yes, we need to put aside our rivalry and fight together for the sake of the Planet and its people." Poporiko answered.
"Yes. Best friend forever, Poporiko-chan?" The girl answered, presenting her hand.
"Best Friends Forever, Michiko-chan!" Poporiko answered, shaking the hand of her new friends.
(From Rivals to Best Friends Forever… That must be a Record.)
"Enough celebration! We have Evil Creatures of Evil to defeat!" Lichiko said.
"Yeah! Let's go!" Tichiko added.
"Yes, but how? We must keep our identity as Warriors of Love and Friendship a secret!" Poporiko asked with a whisper.
"I have a plan, trust me!" Mitchiko said.
"Go."
"Teacher! We all have a bellyache! Can we leave for a couple hours?" She said.
"Good thinking!"
With Izuku – Small apartment -
"Are you sure it won't be a problem?" Izuku asked as soon as the bedroom door opened.
"Ah, don't worry, I really need somebody that knows how to operate a kitchen, now that my usual Chef fell ill. You and your waitress fell on my lap like a miracle basically!" The old lady that owned the place answered with a smile of relief.
"What happened to him?" Ochako asked.
"That's the strange thing, he was cooking like normal when at a certain point he want mad, grabbed a butcher knife and started attacking random people." She answered.
"Oh God!" Both teens gasped in shock.
"Yes, poor dear kept screaming about cooking my customers as a dish for his Supreme Lord of Evil… Doctors said it was a nervous breakdown. Luckily those gentle 'Pretty Warriors of Cuddles' helped sedating him. Too bad I am without a Chef for my restaurant until they release him, or at least I was until you two arrived looking for a job." She answered, sighing.
"Glad to be of help…" Izuku answered, unsure.
"That must be the cheesiest Hero Group Name I have ever heard." Ochako muttered.
"And I am grateful you are just as skilled as you showed me! This was my old Chef' apartment, I don't think he will mind you borrowing it during your stay here in our city. You go enjoy the sights, I'll take care of bringing here new covers and other small amenities."
"Are you sure?" Ochako asked.
"You say you will work for me for free? Then I will at least give you somewhere nice to stay at before you move again!" The old lady answered, smiling warmly gently pushing them outside.
"Off you go! You two young lovebirds will start working soon, may as ell have a small date before that!" She said, laughing at both teens red face.
"Is it that evident that we are together?" Izuku asked.
"Perhaps." Ochako answered, amused.
Hand in hand, the two wandered through the streets near the small Restaurant owned by the old lady, enjoying the sights of the overly-colorful city and the bright sunny day, chatting a bit between themselves while Whitey silently followed them two steps behind to give them some privacy while still keeping an eye on the young Chef as per the robot's programming.
"You know? Before entering UA I was certain my life would have been fairly plain, but I liked it still." Ochako said, sighing.
"And yet, here you are! Close at becoming a great Hero! Uravity!" Izuku answered, sounding proud of her.
"God I hope so! I know it doesn't sound very Heroic to try becoming a Pro for money, but… You know…"
"I admit that your decision may have been born from more personal-"
"Selfish." Ochako said.
"Personal reasons." Izuku kept saying, smiling.
"But you are still working hard and taking this seriously, so I do think you have what it takes to be a proper Hero." He then said.
"I do feel a bit guilty about it, but I keep telling myself that I am trying to become a Hero that will keep people safe, not just an Idol out there to get money. Not anymore at least. The mess at the USJ and the attack during our summer camp showed me that this is not a Lifestyle one should take lightly, and… And while I was scared of dying both times, I also had an epiphany, and I decided that I will be a proper Hero, and if I won't be making money from it, well, I know I will figure out something, Heroes are the very last to give-up Hope, we are supposed to inspire it after all, right?" Ochako said.
"Well said!" He answered, amazed.
"… Huhuhu!"
"What?" Izuku asked, surprised by her chuckle.
"I just remembered that in both those accidents, you and your Restaurant Staff were there to help, and actually saved my life both times. And I never thanked you." She said.
"Uh?! Thank me? WH-"
Kiss!
"There! Thank you for saving me twice, my Hero!" Ochako said with a mischievous smile after giving his lips a fast peck.
"… It was nothing!" The young Chef squeaked in answer.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAA!"
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Uh?!" Both Teens gurgled as a duo of weirdos accosted them.
"Look, Sister! New victims for our beloved Dark Lord!" The male Twin said with a fanged smile.
"I see them, Brother! We shall devour the darkness of their hearts and gift them to our Dark God of Darkness!" The Female Twin added.
Both had gun-gray skin, very long and pointed ears and longs fans they kept licking clean with their creepily long purple tongues, they were dressed in very outrageous gimp gear and kept groping each other in a very deranged way, especially so since they looked and talked to each other like siblings.
"Villains?!" Ochako sneered, moving in front of Izuku.
"Aaah! Such a strong heart! I can't wait to devour it!" Female Twin said, making the Pro Hero student's skin crawl with how the thing kept leering at her.
"The boy too is nice! His Light seems just so bright! More than normal humans, so I bet his Darkness will taste so sweet!" Male Twin added, looking at Izuku and, for some reason, giving some faint pelvic-thrusts while looking at him.
"Troublemakers will be stripped as an example to others!" Whitey answered, stepping forward as well.
"Get them! Dark Evil Sprint!" Female Twin said, bursting forward in a blur of shadows.
"Enbu + Gunhead Martial Arts: Samsara Flow!" Ochako answered, grabbing the outstretched claw of the Monster, spinning on herself, and using the thing's momentum plus her own to slam her on the wall next to them once planted both feet down hard enough the young Hero left to clear imprints on the floor.
"Sister!" Male Twin yelled in horror once seen his twin remain stuck on the wall.
"Troublemaker!" Whitey was soon on him with a big fist cocked back.
"YOU SHALL PAY! DARK EVIL CANNON!" The Thing yelled, and shooting from its mouth a thick ray of darkness towards Ochako.
FOOOOOM!
"UH?!" And watching in shock as a gold wok pan appeared in front of the girl instantaneously, and enlarging enough to fully cover her and tank the hit without a single scratch.
"WHAT IS THAT PAN MADE OF?!" The Male Twin asked with a shriek,
WHAM!
In answer, Whitey's fist impacted with the Monster's cheek so hard its jaw shattered in a thousand pieces and was sent flying, tumbling on the floor on the notes of its bones breaking and snapping in many painful places.
"You okay?" Ochako asked.
"I am the one that should ask that, but WOW! You finally got Enbu down?" Izuku asked.
"Hehehe! Almost there!" She answered, smiling.
"That's my girl!" He answered, hugging her and spinning her around on the notes of her squeals and laughter, honestly, one of the nicest sounds he ever heard.
"Uuuugh!" To their surprise, both Monster Twins slowly, and in clear agony, Forced themselves to stand and walk towards each other, so to hold each other hand and point their other hand at the two teens.
"You won't defeat us!" Female Twin said.
"Guu-ga-ga-buu...Shaaa!" The Male Twin added, but his broken jaw made it sound like garbled nonsense.
"You better give-up! Police will soon be here!" Ochako answered.
"We don't fear you! Feel the power of our Forbidden Love! Super Dark Evil Wave Cannon!" Female Twin answered, and from both the Twins' hands a giant wave of darkness surged forward.
Fooooom!
And Once again, the Star-Eating Turtle Wok went summoned from the turtle tattoo on Izuku's wrist and enlarged to huge proportions so to use it as a shield to protect him and Ochako from danger.
"HOW?!" Both twins yelled in horror.
"That Wok is impressive." Ochako admitted in awe.
"Yes, but I can't use it to cook without the right kind of fire, I hate it!" Izuku answered, sounding sad enough to look about to cry.
"It's okay, I am sure you will find the right fire to use it. I believe in you!" Ochako answered, giving him a reassuring smile and a kiss to the cheek.
"Stop ignoring u-"
CLANG! CLANG!
Growing tired of their nonsense, Izuku recalled and shrunk the wok as soon as the Twins' attack faded away, and while holding the now normal-size wok pan in his hand, he whacked them both hard on the head with the thing, slamming both Monsters on the floor hard enough the ground shook violently and a nearby car's alarm went triggered.
"…"
"…"
"… Hn! That should be enough." Ochako said, nodding pleased once waited a couple minutes to see if the two got up again, and only getting some blissful silence from the unconscious monsters.
"Over here! The Heart Crystals have detected the presence of Evil creatures of Evil!" A purple cat said, guiding a group of girls towards the two Twins.
"Exactly! Over there!" A bright yellow penguin added, she too guiding a group of girls to the scene.
"We must stop them!" A bright Green lion cub said, his own group coming from a side street.
"Let's go, Senshi! The people of Earth need us!" The ice blue puppy yelled, her own group of teens dropping down from the top of one of the buildings with pink ropes like some Hollywood S.W.A.T Team. Or some overachieving Rainbow Six player.
"… Isn't this excessive?" Izuku whispered to Ochako.
"I guess the regulations for 'Excessive Hero Intervention' are different here compared to home?" Ochako answered, unsure.
"You that bring despair everywhere, feel the wrath of the warriors of Love!" The Leader of one group said.
"We will defend Happiness and Peace everywhere with the power of Friendship!" Another Group Leader added, striking a Vogue pose.
"For as long as we draw breath, everything will remain Pure and Joyful! We will cleanse the world of your Evil! For we are the Guardians of Purity and Cheerfulness!" Third Leader added, holding her hands clasped together like in prayer in front of her far too big chest.
"No Darkness will prevail as long as we will be here, because our pure hearts beat on the notes of Friendship, Love, Justice, Cuddles, Puppies, Kittens, Hugs, Purity, Goodness, fairly-priced goods and Rainbows!" Fourth Leader finished saying pointing at the sky while crying the pure tears of a Pure Maiden™.
"BECAUSE WE ARE THE GUARDIANS OF LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP!" All of the girls present said as one, closing the cliché 'Magical Girl Speech' by striking a glamorous group pose even a Jojo Character would have called excessive while red rose petals exploded behind them together with a giant cloud of pink smoke forming a heart.
With Ochako and Izuku -
The two Dimensional Travelers were just standing on a side watching the insanity happen right in front of their eyes, and unsure how to even just process everything.
"I used to watch some crappy Magical Girls anime as a kid, but none of them were this bad…" Ochako admitted, eyebrows shooting high in disbelief.
"…"
"Izu-kun?" She asked, watching her boyfriend closing his eyes and massaging his temples while groaning.
"I hate this place… I hate it…" He admitted, groaning again.
"Sssh! It's okay, I don't think it will be too bad here, things can't get any wors-"
"Guardians of Love! TRANSFORM!"
"Idols of Friendship! TRANSFORM!"
"Pretty Warriors of Cuddles! TRANSFORM!"
"Navy Senshi of Sweetness! TRANSFORM!"
(A/N: Danger. Flashing Lights in the picture below, if you are photosensitive, please scroll past it.)
"Eh…?" Ochako muttered, dumbfounded as each girl there unclasped the colorful, tacky and plastic-looking heart-shaped crystals they add on their person and held it above their heads… Then came the real ugly sight.
Either spinning in place nonstop by ballet dancing, or loudly slapping their body parts, or dancing the macarena, or something that seemed scarily-similar to a Fortnite dance, or even just doing jumping jacks, those girls SLOWLY morphed their clothes into outrageously-complicated white Magical Girls uniforms with a far too big boob window and decorated fully with hearts, belts, tiny bells, smiley emoji faces, rainbows and much more...All on the notes of the most saccharine music about Friendship and Love ever heard playing out of nowhere, but Ochako guessed the music came from the same place the pink and red background full of stars and rainbows now flashing behind the girls came from.
"…" Ochako was speechless, she didn't know what was worse: the fact that the entire transformation took a good five minutes while the Villains waited for them to finish, or the fact that each girl was completely naked the entire time with absolutely nothing covering their bodies.
"I saw far too much, they flashed everything, and some of them really need to shave too! I know me and my friends are lucky for our age, but… Those girls are too much! Nobody has butts and tits that massive! That has to be a health concern!" Ochako said, for once not jealous about another girl being naked in front of Izuku, that because the Chef had smelled the incoming bullshit and he had long since covered his eyes before the nudity happened.
"Can we leave now? Before cringe actually kills me?" He begged with a very tired voice.
"Yes… They seem to have everything under control." She answered, especially once seen that the Evil Monster Twins were still unconscious from Izuku's attack.
"Thank God!" The young Chef said in relief, grabbing Ochako's hand and running away with her back towards the old lady's Restaurant.
"FRIENDSHIP CANNON OF LOVE AND PURITY!" Those girls yelled in chorus and soon an explosion of rainbow-coloured light engulfed everything, and even if deafening, the explosion could not cover the screams of pain of the Evil Twins that went forcefully, and painfully, purified until they returned being humans, unfortunately still looking beaten black and blue thanks to Izuku and Ochako.
Later that day – Kitchen -
Once back to a setting he felt safe in, Izuku finally relaxed, and fell into the rhythm of the Restaurant he was in, watching pleased as Ingredients turned into wonderful dishes thanks to his tireless work.
"So. A beast called Cloud-Eating Golden Dragon. Maybe it's one of those monsters? Like the ones that tried attacking us?" Ochako, waiting for Izuku to hand her the plates, asked.
"They didn't look very golden. Or Dragon Looking." Izuku answered, sighing.
"We need more information." She answered.
"From who? The System only tells me to capture it, to seek and capture it." he said, handing her two plates, both steaks looking juicy and tender.
"… Eeeeh! I don't know." Ochako admitted in defeat, taking the plates and walking out of the room to deliver them.
"Seriously, this is a modern-day world, a dragon would look so out of place it should be easy to find it." Izuku muttered, sighing.
"Izuku!" Ochako barged-in back into the kitchen in a hurry.
"Un?"
"Those girls are here, the ones that like to undress in public to fight Villains!"
"Ookay?"
"They were talking about how the attacks of those things are increasing and their pets said something about them needing to stop the return of their Leader!" She said.
"… Aaand?" Izuku asked, confused.
"One of their overly-colorful pets called it 'That stupid evil dragon'." Ochako answered with a meaningful look.
"And they talked about it just like that?"
"Not really, they spoke with whispers but, well, let's say that their whispering is as loud as our talking. They have a strange concept of discretion." Ochako answered with a scrunched nose.
"Well, this world has already shown to be as insane as the others I visited already, so I say we just go with the flow and use that Insanity to fulfill this Mission quickly, the sooner we get to that dragon, the sooner we can leave this madhouse." Izuku answered, sighing.
"Want me to ask what they know?" Ochako said.
"How though? What if you are not supposed to know?" Izuku asked back, worried.
"I...W-What if we make them believe I am a like them, like… Like a Colleague from another division or something? Maybe they will share some info!"
"That may work, but how do you plan to do it? How do we convince them?" Izuku asked, unsure.
"…" As one, their eyes slowly zeroed on Shiro sleeping in a corner of the kitchen.
"… Why are you looking at this Esteemed Taotie like that, Partner?" Shiro asked in dread as soon as he felt the two teen's eyes burning a hole in his supremely-fluffy head.
"I think I have an idea." Ochako said.
"Goddamnit."
At the table of Magical Girls -
"Another incredible success, girls!" Michiko said, clapping happily and jumping a bit on her seat, meaning her chest slapped heavily on the table with loud meaty clapping sounds and the whining of wood about to snap under duress.
"Even if those two Evil Creatures of Evil looked a bit… Defeated already?" One of the Navy Senshi said, unsure.
"It means that we got lucky this time, but it won't be a recurring thing." The Penguin Pet Mascot with them said from under the table.
"We need to be always on high alert! The Legion of Dark Evil Darkness could attack again any time!" The kitten added.
"Surely you jest. You all have next to zero care of whoever could hear!" That was when Shiro jumped on the table.
"CUTE!" The human girls said as one with a loud shriek, and for once even Shiro hated the attention.
"Who are you?" The Pets instead asked.
"My name is Shiro, and this Esteemed Lord cannot believe you others are being so unprofessional about your job as Guardian of Earth! You are talking about confidential information at the table of a restaurant, for goodness sake!" Shiro answered, truly pulling-off an unmatched acting talent.
"Never heard of you." The puppy answered with a growl.
"Exactly! That's how you protect a world! You come in, defeat evil and then leave, no fanfare, no useless light shows and no rousing speeches!" Shiro answered, and with a nod of his, Izuku and Ochako joined them at the table.
"Let me introduce you to my own Partner and the Warrior I am championing." The Taotie said, returning to wrap himself around Izuku's neck.
"Another Magical girl?" The Penguin said.
"And a boy?" One of the kuuderes asked, curious.
"A cute one! So we can have cute boys in our squads? Why was I not told?" Michiko, already interested, asked.
"Head out of the gutter, Michiko. This is a serious meeting." The Kitten said.
"Usually boys prefer to stay in the side-lines, jump in with their own one attack to help tilt the scale of battle in our favor and then leave." Penguin said.
"Maybe because they have to deal with people that don't like having others steal their thunder ooor, looking at that girl, they don't want to be harassed endlessly by some boy-crazy annoyance. This Esteemed Taotie has seen it happen far too much, with either gender. Outsiders being forced to just jump-in when there is no other option and then leave to not get scolded and/or molested." Taotie answered.
"… I mean… Pretty Pretty Lovely Mask does that every time…" One of the Warriors admitted with a low voice, looking a bit unsure.
"One attack, a charming smile and a comment about how nice our costumes are and then he leaves. Maybe we gave him the idea that we do not appreciate outside help?" Michiko added.
"Same with Lovely Hunk Stranger. A surprise attack with a red rose, a wink and a 'Such a lovely girl shouldn't be eaten alive' and then he leaves… What did you others do to scare them away?!" Poporiko hissed.
"Hush! We are not here to hear you thirsty thots prattle about your unfulfilled lust! This wouldn't be an issue normally, as your Teams are created to face this sorts of threats, but apparently you all are doing such a poor job WE had to come here to fix your mess!" Shiro said, silencing them all with a glare.
"HEY!" The group growled in outrage.
"We admit you are working hard," Ochako said, with a very forced smile.
"But the situation is getting worse fast. That is why we are here, to help." Izuku, way more well-versed in smiling convincingly to people he didn't like, added with a thumbs-up.
"Worse? But the Sages said the Evil is receding!" Penguin said.
"Receding? Really? How many attacks happen daily? How long have you all kept battling the forces of Evil?" Shiro asked with narrowed eyes.
"Ehm… Just… Just three attacks a day… It's not THAT bad." Puppy said with a low voice.
"We have been doing this for a couple months," Kitten added, sweating a lot in nervousness.
"And still, no results show." Shiro countered, merciless.
"Y-Y-You are being a bit too harsh. We are not that bad." Lion Cub muttered, wincing.
"This Esteemed Taotie is not calling you bad, just badly organized." Shiro answered.
"And you want to help us?" Michiko, already making doe eyes at Izuku out of 'boys withdrawal', said while caressing his arm.
"Pretty much." Ochako, watching the Chef take a step back to avoid her only for the girl to lean forward to kept harassing him, answered while slapping that hand away.
"Ah! Rude!" Michiko said.
"Reign in your hormones, please. I am not interested." Izuku asked, groaning.
"Why? Are you gay?"
"… Ignoring the fact that you asked that as if it was something bad, no, I am straight. I am already in a relationship so I don't want to cheat, especially with any of you. And even then, kind of curious how you are so much into yourself to believe that somebody is Homosexual just because they do not want to sleep with you." Izuku answered, disappointed.
"Aaaw! Playing hard to get?" Michiko said with a coy smile.
Ochako could swear she heard Izuku's blood pressure rise to dangerous levels out of anger.
"Just tell us if you have any news about the Cloud-Eating Golden Dragon." She asked, she understood Izuku may feel tempted to punch the girls since she too was succumbing to that temptation, but she also knew they had a Mission to fulfill.
The Pets winced in unison, with their heads actually popped out from under the tablecloth to look at them with scared eyes.
"You really know that much? Its ancient name?" Kitten asked with a trembling voice.
"That name is a bit silly." The Air-headed member of the Navy Senshi admitted with a giggle.
"Our Information Network doesn't joke around. So? Any new details about it that are worth knowing?" Shiro asked.
"They… The Forces of Evil are trying to free it from its prison. They consider that Monster their God, so they want it free so to plunge everything into infinite Darkness." Penguin answered.
"We already know that much! Unfortunately we thought that the girls and the furry playthings purposely sent to defeat it had more information than mere common knowledge! Were we wrong assuming that?!" Shiro said, harshly.
All of them, Pets and schoolgirls, winced as one.
"Ehm. W-We aren't told much." Lion Cub admitted.
"The Sages say we and the girls are not ready yet for the truth." Kitten added, ashamed.
"Figures! Pure incompetence! Bring us to your Sages! We have clearance and do not need any silly 'Test of Worth'! It's time for some professionalism to return to this Mission!" Shiro ordered.
"We can't just bring you there!" Puppy answered, distraught.
"Then please, send a word that we need to meet them, this is important." Izuku said.
"We can try, but I can't promise they will accept." Puppy answered.
"They are pretty secretive and withdrawn." Kitten added.
"This Esteemed Taotie doesn't care! Just send a message that we require a meeting! We won't play games with the Fate of Humanity!" Shiro ordered.
"Fine! Fine! No need to get angry!" Penguin answered.
"Thank you." Izuku answered.
"Much appreciated." Ochako echoed.
"You have two days." Shiro closed the discussion there, and as they planned, at that request the three of them left to return to the kitchen.
"… Shit. Apparently there are other Squads out there." Penguin cursed with a low voice.
"And they decided to send a Team of theirs to help us! Why?! My resume will be tainted! Why are you others not pulling your weight!? YOU'LL MAKE ME LOOK BAD!" Kitten said with a roar.
"Your resume!? What about ME!? I have over three hundred interventions under my belt! All perfect successes! If ever it's YOUR TEAM that is slacking off!" Puppy answered.
"Enough! We can't start arguing and pointing fingers! We will alert the Sages and let them decide, and I pray to the Gods of Light this won't just throw our credibility down the drain! And as for you girls…" Lion cub hissed.
"Yes?"
"STOP WASTING TIME CHASING FASHION OUTLET SALES AND BIG DICKS AND FOCUS ON YOUR JOB AS WARRIORS!" The Pet yelled.
"EEEEK!" The girls shrieked in chorus.
In the Kitchen -
"Good. Hopefully the people in charge will have some information to spare." Shiro said, groaning.
"You okay?" Izuku asked, concerned.
"Just me not liking to speak like humans do, it's a nightmare for my throat." The Taotie answered, chuckling, and sending his answer to both Izuku and Ochako's mind telepathically.
"What was all that acting?" Ochako asked.
"Oh! Merely this Esteemed Taotie using some jargon and attitude of the common Clan Leaders from back home. I just acted like an Elder asking to the Sect Leader why things are being messy, I heard plenty of them argue and have official meetings enough times back in the days I learned how to talk like one of those fools." Shiro answered, smug.
"Well, hopefully they won't discover the truth until after we got some information out of them, because apparently their Nemesis and my Target are the same thing." Izuku said, sighing.
"We can do this, we just must believe." Ochako answered, taking both his hands in hers (pinkie fingers lifted) and looking straight in his eyes while showing a determined smile.
"Yes, you are right." He answered, returning to smile and giving her a small kiss.
"Good!" she answered, blushing cutely thanks to the little peck he gave her.
CRASH!
"What?" Izuku asked, surprised to hear several chairs fall on the floor.
"Those girls ran away, in a hurry." Ochako answered.
"Probably another attack they needed to stop." Shiro said.
"Another? Wow, I am happy things are not this bad back in our world." Izuku said, sighing.
"Things are pretty insane here, yes. But don't worry, we will finish this Mission fast and return home, at least there men and you will have some peace and quiet waiting for us."
"I really can't wait, Occhan. I really miss home already. I just hope everything is alright while I am away."
"Eri has both your Parents watching over her in the Restaurant, and she is probably already asleep and will just see you again in the morning thanks to the Time Dilation of your Sponsor. And even then, should anything happen, Blackie is keeping guard. I don't see anything getting past him!" She answered, chuckling.
"Right! Thank you, Ochako."
"No problem, Icchan!"
Meanwhile - Izu and Ocha's Home World – Front of the Restaurant -
Lady Nagant was a woman of tragic past, and even more tragic present, and working for both All for One and the Hero Public Safety Commission whenever one of the two needed some special 'VIP Target' gone.
Everything in her life revolved around a dirty, inhuman murder business, and she did that because that was the only life she knew, disillusioned as she was of Life and Heroism in general.
She focused only on the money it gave her, she buried the guilt under the money and the threats to her own life, even if she knew she very likely deserved to die, considering all the blood on her hands.
But now… Now she was watching the closed doors of a simple Restaurant, camping on a far too hot rooftop thanks to her hiding in the small room housing the engines of the air conditioners of the building itself; she needed to wait for the owner and Chef to be back, and either killing or kidnap him.
"Now I am in deep shit." Nagant said, exiting the small hot room that had become her temporary home to get some fresh air and look at Green Cloud again.
"The Commission wants him alive so he can hand over his little Robot and Dog. And All for One wants him dead for...Who the hell knows what reason. And both can and will kill me if I don't comply. I guess I will kill him and just bring Robot and Dog to the Commission, if they ask, I'll tell them I had no choice but to kill him. Seems like a good idea to make both Monsters happy." She said, activating her Quirk and pointing a gun at the Restaurant as a Test...And meeting the eyes of Blackie thanks to her scope.
"Sorry, doggie. Nothing personal, just business." She muttered.
Then she blinked, and Blackie was gone.
"Actually, kiddo. This Lord finds all this very personal." And the Lord Dog was now sitting right next to her, and looking at her in great amusement.
"… Clever, boy." Nagant muttered while slowly turning to look at the Lord Dog with wide eyes.
BOOOOOOOM!
And barely noticing the exquisite paw gently patting her chest.
Omake – Inter-dimensional Ingredient Hunt -
Delicious Thresher Maw Meat Pie, and the mess that comes with it.
Citadel – Open Bar -
The bar of the super giant space colony was bursting in activity, with only a few of the people present actually showing worry about the looming threat of the Reapers and their army trying to purge the Galaxy as a whole.
"We are making far too little progress, and far too slowly." The Commander of one of the ships parked in the station's docks said, sighing.
"Commander. My offer still stands. Curing Genophage will buy us the loyalty of the Krogans. Making them join us for the final battle." One of the alien members of the crew answered while talking extremely fast, and studying his own fizzy drink with a small drone instead of drinking it.
"Yes, let's do that!" The Krogan of the group answered, emptying a drink big enough to be considered a bucket, more than a glass.
"We can do that, but then I believe the rest of the Salarians will kind of hate us. In fact, forget the 'kind of', they will hate us." Garrus the Turian answered with a mirthless, self-deprecating chuckle and emptying his third shottie glass in one gulp.
"Is that really what will happen?" Tali the Quarian asked in dread.
"You tell me. Remember how difficult it had been to talk your kind into co-existing with the Geth?" Javik asked, amused.
"… Oooh. Keelah." Tali muttered under her breath, with her hand clapping loudly against the reinforced glass of her helmet.
"Yes. Keelah. At least the Quarian and the Geth were kind of open to dialogue. Krogans by default aren't." Liara the Asari answered, sighing.
"Yeah, we are not great at talking things out, who cares." Wrex answered, laughing.
"We will find a way." Shepard answered, exchanging a look with the Asari researcher that returned a small smile on her face.
"Leave the lovey-dovey stuff for after we fixed this, Shepard." Garrus said, shaking his head, amused.
"I am close at finding a cure. But releasing on the entire planet is still an issue. Any suggestion?" Mordin asked, curious.
"You little things can ask for suggestions now?" Javik asked with a mocking tone.
"Smart doesn't mean infallible. Different point of view means wider specter of possible solutions. More possible solutions means a possibly faster solution I haven't think about. Even if unlikely." Mordin answered, unfazed.
"Traveling with the Asari and Shepard did you good. You are learning philosophy!" Javik answered, chuckling.
"I won't deign that with an answer." The Salarian answered, humming.
"Still, until a cure is found we can't plan a thing. We are just wasting time brainstorming while the Reapers keep moving." Shepard said, voice full of bitterness.
"We are trying to amass an army of as many possible ship of every possible race to go to war against a Threat that is, technically, unstoppable. Nothing said this would have been easy, unfortunately." Liara answered, silently sending a prayer to whoever 'up there' was open to listen.
"Is this one of those moments where you Humans call for one of those Miracles?" Javik asked, curious.
"Never was much of a believer myself. But if a Miracle happens, even I would not turn it away." Sheppard answered, rubbing his eyes.
"LIARA!" A voice called-out in happiness, but as soon as said Asari turned around to see who called her, her eyes grew wide, she jumped to her feet fast enough to topple her chair and she immediately pointed a slick gun at the new arrival.
"ARIASE! Why are you out of the Monastery?!" Liara demanded.
"What is happening?" Shepard, he and the others pulling their weapons out just in case, asked with a tense voice.
Everybody else in the half-empty bar was now standing perfectly still, waiting for the right moment to bolt and avoid a wild shot-out.
"She is an Ardat-Yakshi. I used to know her thirty years ago before she was diagnosed." Liara answered.
"Please lower your weapons, there is no need to worry." The Asari Council Representative intervened with a calm voice.
"Councilor." Shepard answered, signaling the others to lower their guns.
"What is happening?" Liara asked, confused.
"I am free! I am no longer a Ardat-Yakhsi!" The other Asari answered.
"… What?" Tali asked, confused.
"Isn't that thing impossible to cure?" Garrus asked.
"It is." Mordin answered.
"We believed so. Until somebody came to request some of our Asari honey and honey mead while actually walking unhindered inside a Monastery; There were no guards to stop him and managed to get his hands on both objects without incidents.
In exchange of both ingredients he decided to cook for the Afflicted in one of the Monasteries as a form of payment… When we finally noticed that blatant hole in the security the Intruder had already left. After the investigation we noticed how the Asari there were slowly returning to normal, we ran several test and found them cured of their condition. Somehow." The Asari Councilor answered, and the normal collected tone of her race was marred by complete confusion.
"How?!" Liara demanded.
"That is the problem: we do not know, and we must know. Besides some 'giddiness', to use a Human term, there seems to be no other issues with the cure, and even that is only temporary. And That is why I am here."
"You want us to find this person and have them share the cure?" Shepard said.
"Yes, Commander. Not only this would help us right a wrong that is plaguing our Race as a whole… But if we can cure every Ardat-Yakhsi… We will double our efforts against the Reapers. Some of the Asari that have been healed swore to join the fight as well since the stranger was a Human." The Councilor answered.
"I see. Please give us every detail you have and we will look for them." Shepard answered.
"Thank you, Commander. Also…"
"Yes?" The Human man asked, noticing the unsure tone of the Councilor.
"Many influential Clans also wish that young man to be brought in front of them for… You would basically call it 'Marriage Proposal', since many of the afflicted were the only Heir of several of them. I do not condone such archaic methods, but… They insisted."
"Oh. I… I'll see what I can do, Madame." Shepard answered, smiling unease.
"Thank you, also, please let's keep that last thing out of any possible record of this mission. For obvious reasons. Last thing the Galaxy needs is something that makes others think we Asari are that promiscuous."
"Of course."
"Many thanks, Commander. Come with me, Ariase."
"Yes. We'll talk later, Liara. There is so much I want to talk with you about, I missed you." The other Asari said, before walking away with the Councilor.
"Of course, Ariase." Liara answered, showing a small smile.
"A Cure for the Yardat-Yahksi. Must study it. What fix a Mental Illness may help curing Genophage too." Mordin said.
"You sure?" Garrus asked.
"Miracles works in many ways, yes? A Human researcher that cured that will be useful to look for a cure for Genophage too. New Insight is never wasted." Mordin answered.
"Worth a shot." Tali answered, shrugging.
"It is. Let's return to the Normandy, we will download the information the Councilor sent us and start from there." Shepard answered.
"Hn! Seems like you humans were not that far off with this Miracle primitive belief." Javik admitted, shaking his head.
"It surprised me as well. I thought we killed our Gods when we discovered space travel."
One hour later - Citadel Docks – Normandy Ship – War room -
The group of soldiers were sitting at ready, waiting for whatever scrap of information the Asari were keen to share with them, all in the hope of gaining more help against what they saw as an almost certain case of 'Losing Battle', only on a Galactic scale.
"We got the data, Commander." The Ship's AI, now sporting a physical body, declared.
"Display them." Shepard answered.
"Yes." Screens filled in description and recordings both video and audio, of the interrogations the Asari that actually interacted with that strange Intruder went through when questioned.
"… So. We are looking for a young Human with green hair and green eyes, accompanied by a tall human woman with long black hair." Garrus said after all of them visioned everything they got.
"Not much, admittedly." Tali said, sighing.
"Unfortunately for many Asari 'Humans all look the same', the only distinguishing feature would be the green hair." Liara answered.
"Which is in itself not much, dying hair that brightly has just now started not being fashionable anymore, and that means a lot of people still do that." Shepard added.
"Do we have a name at least?" Garrus said, groaning.
"One of them said the name Izuku. We should check the Human databases to look for any trained personnel with that name. Medicine, Biology, Genetics, Psychology and much more." Mordin said.
"Got that, EDI?" Shepard said.
"I will start a search and send a request to the Citadel as well, and will cross-reference our findings." The Normandy's AI answered.
"Thank you."
"Call incoming. Geth Consciousness and the Quarian Fleet."
"The fleet? Why?" Tali asked, nervous.
"Connect both here." Shepard answered, and immediately a the Image of a Robot and a mask-less Quarian appeared on the screen.
"FATHER!" Tali shrieked in horror.
"Tali! I need you to come back to Tikkun!" The Quarian elderly male said, smiling far too wide.
"What is happening?! Where is your suit?! Put it on! NOW!" Tali shrieked, very close at a mental breakdown.
"There is no need to worry." The Geth on the call said.
"HOW?! WHY?! What have you done?!" Tali roared.
"We did nothing, a Human came to run tests on Quarian medical herbs and other 'Ingredients', and offered food as a peace offering to several key members of Quarian society. Afterwards, the ones eating have started showing signs of distress and achieved 'Vomit', and released a black substance from their mouth that was later tested to contain several harmful substances." The Robot said.
"… What?" Tali whispered.
"As a show of trust, the two humans have delivered themselves as prisoners for twenty-four hours, human time. After that, the Quarian that have eaten the food he made ran several tests, and showed an increase in Immune System functionality and effectiveness of 400%. Effectively Fixing The Quarian Race's innate weak Immune System. We do not have proofs if it will work for successive generations too as an Ereditary Trait or if it will require new Generations to consume the same cure." The Geth explained.
"…" The silence was far too thick to be normal, even in the void of space.
"I have been without a suit for three days! Not even an itch in my throat, Tali! Air...Air feels so Strange on my face!" Tali's father said, looking ready to cry.
"And mother?!" Tali asked.
"Smelling flowers. Finally she achieved her dream." He answered, with what the others assumed being a Quarian version of a choked hiccup full of emotion.
"COMMANDER!" Both Tali and Mordin yelled as one.
"We'll make a trip there, who found the cure?" Shepard asked.
"A Human, Commander Shepard. He and his mate go by the name Izuku and Momo, we can share a recording of their staying in the prison cells of the Quarian Fleet and our questioning them." The Geth answered.
"That guy helped the Quarian too? Is he a miracle worker?" One of the Human soldiers in the room muttered, impressed.
"Yes, do so." Shepard answered immediately.
"Of course, Commander." The Geth answered.
"We asked him to leave some extra Food, Tali! Some for you, and the rest to try synthesize a cure for the rest of us! We are over eighteen Million, we knew we could not ask him to cook for all of us, but we were assured by him that the Citadel could help us extract a cure from the food he left us, and when we asked for him to give us those samples, he accepted!" Tali's father said.
"I'll be there! Keep it warm!" Tali answered.
"I will prepare everything at the lab to start synthesizing." Mordin said.
"Whoever that boy is, I don't think he has a clue about what he has achieved." Garrus said.
"Or maybe he does, and he knows that with that much gratitude towards him, the Quarians and the Asari will happily throw away their lives against the Reapers if he asks." Liara answered.
"Gratitude is a very powerful weapon. Very devious of him." Javik added.
"Joker, set the route." Shepard ordered.
"Right away, Commander!" The pilot answered.
"Is that boy still there?" Shepard asked.
"Negative, Commander. The Human has left ten human days ago for the Krogan Home planet right after being released, he mentioned needing to talk with the Asari for their honey too before departing. But we could not detect ships departing, we are trying to understand what cloaking system they used." The Geth answered.
"…" Again, everybody was speechless.
"… The Krogan?" Liara muttered.
"...Bwhahahahaha! That little thing wants to fix Genophage too?! He must have the biggest Quads in the fucking Galaxy! Bwahahahaha!" Wrex said with a thunderous laugh.
"Send a message to the Krogan! Tell them that if those two are there then they must keep them on the planet! Any excuse works! But Alive and Safe!" Shepard ordered immediately.
"Yes, Commander." The Ship's AI answered.
"Shepard!" Tali said.
"We will pass by your home planet for your cure and the sample they left behind, yes. But you have to be fast, we won't be able to stop for too long." He answered.
"THANK YOU!"
24 hours later – Tuchanka -
The Normandy had barely time to land that Shepard and the others jumped down the ship to meet the Krogans waiting for them.
"Is he here?" The Commander asked.
"Logh-Mat'rek? Yes, he is here. Was hard to talk him into staying, we had to promise him all the Ingredients and the instruments he asked for his cooking, but he said he can't stay for much longer." The Krogan in red armor answered.
"The Worthy of Worship?" Wrex asked, confused.
"We saw him kill a Thresher Maw with a pan and a tiny knife and use that beast for cooking food just because he wanted to try its taste, that takes such a big pair of quad balls some of us wanted to know if he was a Krogan in disguise, why do you think some of us started calling him like that? That worm lasted barely a minute against him, that is a new record." The Krogan answered.
"Warm air feels so strange! I didn't know it could be so hot!" Tali was heard say in wonder while looking around without her mask.
"Focus! Wear your helmet and come here!" Garrus begged, sighing.
"Bring us to him, it's important." Shepard asked.
"Why?" The Krogan answered with narrowed eyes.
"Boy may be of help to cure Genophage. We need to compare notes." Mordin, that was STILL looking through the insane quantity of data he collected from the two food samples left behind to the Asari and Quarian, asked without lifting his eyes from the holographic computer on his arm.
"Shit. If that guy cure Genophage too we'll have to stop others from trying to add him to their Clan for some easy bragging. Come this way."
"As if the Asari and Quarian haven't already considered doing that themselves, many have already given him a name in their Language, and started to add green to their clothes…" Liara muttered, sighing, and eyeing the thin green band now adorning Tali's uniform around her wrists.
A long walk later -
What the big group found once arrived was a big dome of mud with an opening on the top, and a human dressed in green Chef attire being held by the legs by a chubby white robot that was helping the guy working inside the big round oven, all under the watchful eyes of a tall human girl in her teens.
"Done! Pull me up, Whitey!" Izuku ordered.
"Yes." The Robot did as asked, pulling the young Chef out of the hole and passing him the lid he then used to seal the oven.
"Perfect! The property of this place's clay will add a very interesting earthen note to the dish' taste!" Izuku said, smiling wide.
"So you finally did it?" Momo asked when he walked to stand next to her.
"Yep! A brand-new dish of my creation! From cooking method to recipe! I missed the feeling of accomplishment from doing that!" He answered, with his proud smile making her chuckle.
"Another mission success, I am glad!" She answered, proud of her man.
"Esan Nogar Shalim! We finally meet!" Tali said with a very strange tone that worried the others.
"Uh?" Shepard muttered.
"Young One that came to save (Us). Basically a very, very religious way to call him a Saviour." Liara answered, unnerved.
"Oh, no..."
"Hn? May I help y-" Izuku's question died messily when Tali hugged him super tight.
"Oh! One of those Quarian you helped!" Momo said, dropping her angry expression as soon as she recognized who was hugging her man.
"Good evening. Commander Shepard, nice to meet you." The man said, presenting his hand.
"Good Evening. Izuku Midoriya, the pleasure is mutual." Izuku answered, shaking the man's hand.
"Momo Yaoyorozu, nice to meet you, Shepard-san." Momo said next.
"… Do you plan to let go of my boyfriend's arm any time soon?" She then asked, looking angrily at Tali and how she held onto his left arm without a care in the world.
"I am showing gratitude to the person that helped my people." Tali answered, unfazed.
"Uh-hu."
"…"
"Javik?" Garrus said, unnerved by how hard the guy was looking at the Chef.
"You…" Javik said, briefly grabbing onto Izuku's hand and then letting go of it right after as if burned.
"You are a Chosen by the Nameless Things beyond The Void. Why something like you is here?" Javik answered, pointing his gun at the Chef.
"Troublemaker!"
"Calm do-"
Crack! BOOOM!
Unfortunately, Shepard and Garrus were not fast enough to stop Whitey from grabbing Javik gun with one big hand to crumble it to tiny pieces while at the same time punching the Alien hard enough he was sent flying and rolling on the floor.
"Eh! That was a nice punch!" Wrex commented, amused.
"What is happening here?" Shepard demanded.
Sigh! "Let me explain…" Izuku said, sighing.
Some time later -
"… And that's pretty much it." Both Izuku and Momo had just finished talking and explaining.
"Inter-dimensional Travel, finally some new details to confirm the possibility of other Realities out there. Very interesting." Mordin said, recording everything in his personal database.
"Normally I would have called it fantasy, but ever since I joined Shepard I saw far too many strange things, by now I am very open minded." Garrus admitted with a sigh.
"The Nameless Things are a bad Omen, one of them doing this just for food is just the less extreme blasphemy I heard of them." Javik, half face completely covered in medical gel, said with a lisp.
"And you helped the Asari and Quarian as part of your Mission?" Shepard asked.
"Yes and no. I helped the Asari as part of my Mission, but I helped the Quarian just because… Well… I thought I could help them fix an issue that was plaguing them, and since Healing Cuisine and Utility Dishes have healed worse I thought 'Why not'. I just thought that since I had the power needed to change things, then it was my duty to help them. I didn't think it was such a big deal." Izuku admitted, sighing.
"It is a big deal, and we Quarians are all forever grateful." Tali answered, scooting a bit closer to him.
"Can you stop that? He is taken!" Momo hissed.
"By four girls! What's a fifth one then?!" Tali answered, and the rest of Shepard's crew groaned as one while face-palming.
"Never! Four is enough! I won't add another!" Momo said, jumping to her feet.
"Either that or me freeing space! It's your choice, Bosh'tet!"
"HOW DARE YOU! You… You…"
"Prat'ya." Javik supplied.
"THAT! You Prat'ya!" Momo repeated.
"!" Tali gasped in indignation.
"Don't make things worse, Javik!" Shepard and Garrus yelled in chorus.
"MOMO!" Izuku yelled.
"Tali!" Liara chorused.
"… This isn't over." Momo muttered with narrowed eyes.
"Not by a long shot." Tali answered.
"Ignoring primitive feelings of territoriality. Is the food you are making able to cure Genophage?" Mordin asked, moving to look far too close to Izuku's face for the young Chef' comfort.
"… If I answer yes… Will I be in trouble?" Izuku muttered.
"…"
"If the other Salarians find out, yes." Shepard answered, unnerved.
"But considering that the Krogan will then owe you one just like the Quarian and Asari already do, I really want to see them try to raise shit, the bloodbath will be hilarious!" A Krogan answered, smirking savagely.
"Please no. No bloodshed in my name, please." Izuku begged.
"No need to worry, we will stop that from happening." Shepard answered.
"I hope so." Momo answered, sighing.
"What is the cure? Where is the cure? I need to analyze it." Mordin asked, looking at Izuku straight in the eyes. Unblinking.
"In the oven, almost done cooking." He answered, unnerved.
"How long?"
"Mordin, relax." Shepard asked, groaning.
"I can't!"
"You need to instead." Liara answered.
"Uuuhm. Fine." Finally, the Salarian relented, and set to just monitor the oven from outside with his instrumentation.
"Well, I guess that's the best we can get from him." Garrus said, sighing.
Some time later -
Finally, the Young Chef re-opened the top of the dome-shaped oven and checked the insides, and happy with the results, he snuffed the fire and started pulling out big clumps of hardened clay.
"Uh?" Many said.
"The clay cover is part of the preparation method I came up with. And inventing new recipes never cease to make me feel all tingly inside! So exciting!" Izuku said, smiling wide, while carefully putting every block of clay on a stone table.
"There is a layer between the dish and the clay, leaves we got from a forest planet nearby." Momo explained.
"Hn! The smell is curious." Shepard said.
"That's thanks to the Asari Honey Mead and the Quarian herbs I used for both meat and pie crust! Using the right ones to make a dish that both humans and Krogan can eat hasn't been easy, but I love the finished product!" Izuku answered, carefully smashing open the clay cover and unfolding the browned leaves to show the finished dish.
"Here it is! My Original Recipe: Thresher Maw Clay Meat Pie! Want to try?" Izuku asked after finishing opening every clay bundle and uncovering every meat pie.
"Give!" Mordin's answer came even faster than usual, and the food went rapidly disassembled and put into several tubes, ground to a paste and fed to half a dozen machines that immediately set to analyze everything.
"MONSTER!" Izuku yelled in tears.
"It's okay, he is a scientist first, so of course he is more interested in running tests than eating." Momo said, hugging the distraught Chef to give him some comfort.
"Just focus on the fact that you will help yet another race," Tali added, and shamelessly adding herself to the hug.
"Piss off!" Momo said.
"You piss off, Yan' tar!" Tali answered.
"TALI!" Liara said, scandalized.
"And she kisses her mother with that mouth?" Garrus muttered, grimacing.
"I heard drunk Krogan use less foul words." Shepard said, horrified.
"Yep!" Wrex answered, whistling in awe.
"Food is safe for Krogan and Human consumption. Garrus will need a gastric-protective pill before eating though, some of the herbs used usually give extreme flatulence to Turians. Or even diarrhea in the worst cases." Mordin said once finished his tests.
"Eww. Yes, give me one of those, Doc. I want to try this thing, but I prefer my bowels not trying to implode." Garrus answered, gratefully accepting the pills the scientist handed him.
"Bit of a small morsel." Wrex said while studying the thing.
"Seemed like a good idea, makes eating them easier." Izuku answered.
"EH! Fair enough. So? Is it good for Genophage too?" The Krogan asked.
"…"
"Mordin?" Shepard asked, confused.
"Makes no sense. Results contradict each other and defy the Law of Cause-Effect and the laws of Biology." Mordin answered.
"But?" Tali said.
"Adding the variations to my study and collecting a sample of Krogan blood and fluids after eating could bring the result we need to synthesize a cure." He answered.
"So this boy has a cure for Genophage that is actually working and you just need to find a way to mass-produce it?" Liara asked, leaning closer.
"… Yes." Mordin answered after a long silence, and once given the confirmation, every Krogan in earshot gave a LOUD roar of celebration.
"Then why you sound so sad?" Shepard asked.
"It's very embarrassing." Mordin admitted.
"Come on, out with it. You are between friends!" Garrus said with a reassuring tone.
"Promise no laughing will happen."
"Nobody will laugh. Out with it!" Wrex said, annoyed.
"… The Geneticist in me laments that a Chef found a solution before me. My pride hurts." Mordin finally admitted, closing his eyes.
"…" Nobody talked.
"… Pfffft!" Until a loud snort tore its way out of Liara's mouth, and everybody else lost their own personal battle and started laughing out loud.
"You are very mean." Mordin admitted, even if with a smile himself.
"Okay, okay! We had our fun at Mordin's expenses," Shepard, still chuckling said.
"Hey!"
"But it's time we try this young man's creation. As a thank you for his help towards the Asari, Quarian and Krogan race, we will act as Taste Testers for his new dish, then we will try to find a way to cure the Genophage in a way that won't make Salarians and Humans enemy." The Commander then said.
"Yes!" The others answered as one.
"Please help yourself! I made a lot of it since that Thresher Maw was very plump!" Izuku said while handing plates to whoever asked.
"By the way, kid! You are officially part of the Krogan race! If you need something dead, just give a call and we will gladly tear it apart for you!" Wrex said, and many other Krogans gave a roar as well.
"Same for us Quarians! Call me and I will come helping you!" Tali added, writing her comm number on his hand.
"Those Asari will do the same?" Garrus asked, sounding far too amused by the thing.
Sigh! "Shut up, Garrus." Liara answered with a sigh of defeat.
"I'll take that as a yes." He answered, laughing at her glare.
"Where did you play to go next?" Shepard asked.
"I did what I came here for, but I heard a lot of cool things about the Citadel while traveling to those various planets, so I would like to visit it before leaving and return to my Restaurant." Izuku answered.
"It will be a bit hard since you and Momo technically don't exist, but-"
"The Quarian Councilor and Asari Councilor are open to help if we ask!" Tali reminded him.
"… We will try to see if they can forge some documentation for us then…" Shepard said, rubbing his eyes tiredly.
"Thank you, Commander!" Izuku and Momo said as one.
Sure Tali was yet another case of somebody acting a bit too interested in Izuku, but at least she was a very manageable case!
The Next Day – Citadel – Council Room -
Shepard was still nursing his bandages arm, and eyeing the heavy restraints around Tali and various former Ardat-Yashi Asari warily while the Councilors finished reading the report of the short, disastrous visit.
"The atrium is still under repairs after the destruction caused by the assault. It is rare for such a disaster to befall the Citadel without a massive invading army also coming to knock at our doors." The Human Councilor said.
"It is all the Asari's fault! They started it!" The Quarian ambassador broke eticuet while starting pointing fingers at the Asari one.
"Our fault?! Your youngsters are far too violent! Look at her! She even resorted to bite, BITE any Asari that came to close to her!" She answered.
"I was running out of bullets, and those thots were not taking No! for an answer! He clearly prefers Quarian girls!" Tali answered, making Shepard groan and wish to be anywhere else but there.
"Bullshit!" The group of Bound Asari yelled as one.
"Everybody knows that all the Galaxy loves the Asarussy!"
"Bullshit!" Various bound Quarian replied.
"That was before we could remove our helmets! Now that everybody knows what a bunch of smoking hot Kiyet we are under our clothes, the time of the Asari is over! We are the new Alien Waifus!" Tali answered with a fanatical tone.
"Goddamnit, Joker…" Shepard cursed under his breath.
"Enough! All of you bring shame to your Race! Councilor Johnson! Stop laughing! You are even worse than Udina, and he was a traitor!" The Asari councilor said.
"Sorry, sorry."
"Big words coming form the Councilor that tried to have her ugly and spoiled offspring trying to woo our beloved Esan Nogar Shalim…" The Quarian Councilor muttered, unfortunately everybody heard that comment.
"… What did you say?" The Asari said with a low growl.
"You heard me. That plank of wood had nor the curves, nor the attitude or personality to find a mate, and she was still overshooting in courting a male far beyond her reach!"
"You have not just insulted my daughter!"
"Yes I did! And I am tired to pretend that I don't' find you Asari's 'We are the sexy Race' attitude annoying and undeserved!"
"Undeserved!? Have you seen us?! What? You want to fight?!"
"Bring it! I'll show you Thirsty Prat'ya how a real warrior woman fight!"
"And they are bickering again." The Human councilor muttered with a sigh.
"Unfitting for a Council meeting! You fight in pubs! Not in official meetings!" The Salarian Councilor said, outraged.
"… Me and you. Purgatory. Stun bullets and no biotics. Winner gets that Human, The Green Envoy of Athame, to marry one of our daughters." The Asari Councilor said with narrowed eyes.
"So be it! Prepare to lose! But I will be generous, I will let him keep your daughter as a pet! I hope she won't mind wearing a choker and getting only the scraps, if there will be any after my young Yaeli'Jufin finishes having fun with her human husband, of course." The Quarian Councilor answered.
"You have five minutes. Don't make me wait." The Asari replied with a savage growl before marching away.
"This is very unprofessional." The Salarian Councilor admitted.
"Indeed." Shepard answered, then gun shots and scream were heard and everybody noticed how Tali and the other assorted Asari and Quarian had all broke free and sneaked-out to re-start shooting each other.
"… Aauuuuugh!" Shepard and the other Council members all groaned loudly in response to that as Security rushed outside to stop everything AGAIN.
"Now I see why that poor boy was crying that much while you helped him and his girlfriend escape, I feel like crying myself." The Human Councilor said.
"Same here. Still no new details about the Terrorist group that cured Genophage?" The Salarian Councilor answered.
"Not yet, Madame. Unfortunately we still can't track down this Eco-Terrorist group that decided to undo what the Quarians did to free the Krogan. Mordin is as well studying the chemicals they used to try and guess where it had been made." Shepard answered, using the excuse he, his crew and the Krogan came up with.
"Free the Krogans! Preposterous! They were free We just limited their breeding!" The Councilor said, scoffing.
"Again, we have no clue why this happened." Shepard said.
"Very well, see to collect your crew Member when you leave, this mess is far too widespread for us to arrest them all. Just take care yourself of Miss Tali's punishment. In the meantime we will also go collect our missing members and deal with their Punishment." The Human councilor said, already sounding tired of his new job.
"Yes, you are dismissed. And if asked, none of this happened. The Council is not made of bickering younglings." The Salarian Councilor added, just as tired.
"Of course. Good day." Shepard answered, turning around and leaving the room fast to go recover his missing, and wildly shooting and cursing by the sound of it, Crew Member.
Sigh! "This is all so annoying. I wonder how he does it." The Commander said to himself.
By Crying.
Izuku went through with it by crying himself to sleep while wondering why that kind of mess followed him in every Dimension he visited.
Meanwhile The System kept looking for the cause of this, unable to understand what was the source of a problem even the Entity could not resolve.
