Regina was stealing Robin's stolen horse.
Now that he was in the hospital, maybe she had a chance to take his planned raids…
Little John's widow appeared in her line of sight, clutching her stomach. The wind carried the words "miscarriage" and "distress" to Regina's ears.
Regina smiled thinly, glad she'd never suffer that unbelievable heartache, thanks to the potion she'd smartly drunk a long time ago.
She fed Robin's stolen mount a round, red apple she'd found that morning, as if by chance.
The greedy horse bit fearlessly into the fruit then sniffed Regina's hand, hoping for more. She let the horse lick her flattened palm. She held it in front of her chest, a stop sign.
The scent of horse drifted in her nostrils. She was under the horse's majestic spell.
Feeling someone tracing her, she lifted her eyes. Her lips curved up in merriment.
A man with a bowler hat over a buzzcut, large ears that stuck out a mile away, and a goofy grin was standing about a foot away. Holding a bow and arrow pointed in her direction.
"You touch that horse," Will Scarlet snarled, "this arrow goes through your skull. Capisce?"
When she merely stared at him as if she couldn't speak his language, he nodded jovially. "Stealing Robin's horse?" Rolling his tongue, he licked his teeth before spitting on the ground. He gave off the vibe of a dingo eyeing fresh meat.
Regina scoffed. "You can't steal a stolen horse. When you take a horse from a man who isn't the owner, it's not called stealing." She shortened a stirrup. "It's called horse trading."
"Who says Robin stole it?"
Moving to the other side, Regina shortened the other stirrup. "A horse this fine belonging to a common thief without the help of his hands? I think not. Besides," she chuckled as she patted the gelding's neck, "I have heard jewels aren't the only thing Robin steals to scatter among the poor."
Dryly, Will rebuked, "So you don't have wind between your ears. Bravo." He clapped sarcastically.
Regina's eyes narrowed balefully at Will. Curling her upper lip, she swaggered toward him. "What would possess you to believe I'm an airhead? Certainly not my expression, which is cunning and lacks innocence. I may not have been privileged enough to look in a lot of mirrors, but I wash my face in a pond, stream, or lake every morning." Sashaying her hips, she stated, "I know what I look like."
She continued, "Certainly not my actions. I am taking advantage of a robber trapped in a hospital." She did a pirouette then frowned deeply, crossing her arms and clutching her sides. She wore elbow-length fingerless gloves. "Certainly no woman tainted by innocence would do such a thing."
"Alright, you got me." Will clutched his hat to his chest and bowed low. "An orphan you may be, but you're also a…" sinisterly, he crept closer, "lady of knowledge."
He reminded her of a tall dwarf with his ears poking out and the bony way his skin clutched his face. She turned to amble—one leg in front of the other—back to the horse.
"I know what you need." His tone was suggestive.
"If you're talking about a man," Regina returned carelessly, "men are nothing but trouble. See a woman with a ransom over her head, all they want is the money to drift into their pocket."
Suddenly, Will Scarlet's arms were around her, crushing her so she couldn't breathe. She felt her body grow rigid as he drew a dagger from his belt.
She was sure Will Scarlet was about to behead her. The irony made her wheeze on laughter. The irony of someone the townsfolk viewed as a hero resorting to cowardice.
She waited to feel the cold press of steel driving into her neck. Waited for her purple magic to kick in. Waited on her oxygen supply to drain into a trickle.
Instead, she felt him nuzzle the crown of her forehead with his jaw. "So sweet and supple," he marveled to himself before pressing his lips against her forehead. Pricking her with beard stubble. "I can't…"
Releasing her neck, he stated obnoxiously, "You need a place to hide. A place where the Evil Queen will never find you."
Pins and needles pricked the space below her skin between her neck and shoulders.
"What you need," he marveled, circling her with a smirk, "is the kind of place an humble thief like I have stumbled upon on an expedition."
"Why should I trust you?" Regina grimaced.
Bluntly, Will asserted, "You have no choice." Then he stood, eyeing her with open infatuation. Taking her face in his hands, he kissed her lips hot and hungry.
Her lips tingled, but she yanked her head back. "I'm flattered but not interested."
Darkly, Will mused, "If you give me a chance, I will make your head spin and loins burn. But suit yourself."
He stared at her with the eyes of a dingo. Regina deduced there was something obviously not right about him. Which led her to ponder with incredulity why Robin had accepted him on his band of Merry Men.
After everything Regina heard about Robin—about how he wanted to tip the scales of hope in favor of those so starved for affection they no longer wanted to live—did he cater to outright lunatics, or did he feel a strain of pity when he met Will? Had Will concealed the crazy for a while, or did Robin believe men like Will were the epitome of humanity?
She decided it wouldn't hurt to ask. Tactfully.
"I believe in falling for someone's character," she stated crossly. "You seem to only want my gender. No," she informed him coolly, petting the horse's muzzle, "I'll never regret turning you down. The world is plenty big enough for you and me to co-exist without rubbing crotches, so get that pipe dream out of your head and smash it with a hammer."
He grinned dopily and coughed. "Racy."
"I mean it, cowboy." A thread laced her tongue. Then she changed the subject in attempt to thwart his mind. Plus, she genuinely wanted the answer. "How did you join the Merry Men?"
He started chuckling. He shoulders quavered. When he stifled his amusement, he teased, "You heard we're sexless monks, so now you're confused."
Tapping her foot irritably, Regina tilted her head. "Actually, Robin's rather sexy. I've seen his silhouette, before he takes my planned raid away, even if I've never gotten close enough to hear his voice. I can see women flinging themselves at him and Robin giving them a tender night to remember. His demeanor is undemanding, accepting, and confident. That makes a steamy combination. Hey, you can tell him if he sits still long enough, I'll throw my leg over his lap and give him a night to smile about. I know he'd enjoy me. Something about my expressions makes men rave about how hot I am…
"You, on the other hand," she spat, "reek of desperation. If you've convinced a woman to spend alone time with you, she must be really lonely."
Cockily, Will said, "You wanted to know how I joined? A while back, my sister had the biggest crush on Robin Hood." Will's gaze clouded over. "She wanted me to arrange a meeting. To fool him into robbing our chariot and give him," Will flourished his hands, "True Love's Kiss."
He paused, his jaw grinding. "I knew it was a whacky idea." His voice crackled with emotion. "But you have to understand…" Regina, watching him stiffly and feeling sure he was putting on an act, thought, I don't have to "understand" a damn thing. "My sister was sick…" Lifting his eyebrow in a way that made him look like a puppy. "The doctor said she was going to die. She was four; I was eight. She lent me such joy no one else filled me with. A natural delight. I was able to see the wonder in the world through her eyes. Without her, all I could see was the cruel ugliness."
Will wet his lips before continuing. "She survived that illness, but the consequences were she was weaker and slept more than she should have. For the rest of her life, she was affected by the illness."
Still suspicious, Regina paraphrased, "She's dead?"
Turning away from her and sliding his opened palm down his face while bunching it at his eyes and nose as if to discreetly wipe away tears and snot, he murmured, "Nothing gets by you." He sniffled.
What a twerp. Regina still felt sure something was off. As if she were riding a horse with a saddle that wasn't buckled on.
A bluebird perched on Will's hat, pecked lightly to remove a thread, stared solemnly at Regina, and flew off. It carried Will's thread in its beak.
"That's one of Snow White's spies," Regina whispered. "I must be going." She hopped on the horse like lightning and shoved her feet in the stirrups.
"Wait." Will aimed his bow and arrow at the center of Robin's stolen horse's forehead.
Regina almost kicked off anyway, but she didn't trust Will not to kill the equine. "What?" she barked.
"I will take you to the place where bluebirds don't sing."
Gearing the horse to gallop, Regina lifted her head regally, as if in a past life, she was a queen. "I rejected your offer to be your bedmate," she uttered crisply. "Why would you help me?"
His eyes glinting sincerely, Will assured her, "Because Robin has such a high opinion of you. You're an inspiration to him."
She had one more moment of fleeting desperation before relenting. It would have been fun to steal Robin's horse. To feel the breeze whipping her face. But if she fled, she risked Will Scarlet killing the gelding.
Besides, she was tired of only seeing the worst in people. At some point, she had to make the conscious choice to trust someone. And to be content with the help they provided, even if it could have been upgraded.
Surely a man among the Merry Men could show her genuine kindness?
Maybe the reason her radar wailed so loudly was because it could not detect compassion.
