Enjoy.


Chapter 8: Amu's POV

"So, you don't get along with your family at all?" Ikuto asked her.

"Well, I wouldn't say that I don't, but I would say that it is hit or miss, " Amu replied.

"I don't..." Ikuto was shaking his head, his eyebrows pulling down in confusion. "I don't think I understand." He said finally, frowning.

It'd been about two weeks since the bakery incident, and two weeks since she'd gotten to hold his hand. Her parents still argued, and with that on top of balancing her schoolwork, she was slowly beginning to get worn out with it all. Ikuto noticed, which is what brought on this conversation to begin with. In fact, she'd been enlightening him for the past two weeks on the details of her life. He seemed to grow more curious about her and the human life everyday although Amu believed that he knew way more than he let on. Still, she'd humor him.

"I have to care for them. But sometimes I think they'd be better off." She tried to explain. By the look on his face, she could tell that he still wasn't able to grasp the working of her and her parents' relationship with each other.

"Why do you think that?" He didn't give her time to answer before carrying on. "The way you speak of them, and the stories you tell me about them..." He seemed to struggled for a moment, as if trying to choose his words carefully. "I have reason to believe that you'd be the one that's better off without them."

"I... can't leave them." She said. "I still love them and it's so much easier to say that I want to leave than to actually do it. I don't think that I want to imagine how they'd live if I weren't there to take care of them."

Ikuto scoffed, sitting back in the grass, looking a little incredulous. "Love?"

She raised an eyebrow at him and folded her arms over her chest. "Don't you love your parents? Your sister?"

He told her that he'd had a little sister, and that while she was a pain in his ass at times she had a heart of gold during others. But every time she tried to prod him for more information on his family and upbringing, he visibly seemed to close himself off. His expression darkened, and he would remain silent for an extended amount of time until she changed the topic. This case was no different, and so she worked to rephrase her question this time, "Does the Fae not experience love?"

His expression looked like he was inclined to say no and her heart started to pound against her ribcage. She leaned forward slightly, eager to know the answer. And as if she hadn't worked hard enough to get an answer out of him, she simplified the question even more. "Yes or no?"

He frowned at her and she knew that he did not appreciate her treating him like an idiot. "It's... Uncommon." He said slowly, nodding his head.

That didn't necessarily mean 'no', did it?

She smirked. "So yes? You can?"

"Not me." He said simply.

"Why not?" Her voice had a frustrated edge to it, no matter how hard she wished it didn't.

She couldn't deny it anymore. She was absolutely attracted to him. And surprisingly it wasn't just because he was the hottest man she'd ever come into contact with; although it was definitely a bonus for it. But it was mostly because he was the most authentic man she'd ever met. Not that she'd met very many men to compare him with to begin with. He was real. He thought outside of the box and saw the big picture. He wasn't vain, nor was he completely modest and insecure. He had acceptance. He wasn't incredibly lax and soft-hearted, yet he didn't have a heart of steel. He didn't seem to be happy, but he didn't seem majorly depressed either. He lived between all things. He wasn't one or the other. He was her Sun, as well as her Moon. While she couldn't say she loved him-she was definitely sure that she wasn't-she couldn't deny the fact that she was dangerously close to those feelings.

Is that why it's called a crush? Has anyone ever stopped to think about why it was even called that? Maybe it was because of what the feeling did to someone's soul. The very presence of that person took their breath away and a smile from them made their chest feel as though it were quite literally being crushed. The idea that this person may not be obtainable giving similar feelings of heartache. That's what she'd thought that word had stemmed from. Those ever so noticeable feelings that she held whenever they were near each other.

His voice seeped through her depressions. "I'm a Gancanagh, Amu. For me to love... It'd be horrific. I live off of what I do and wouldn't be able to just turn that part off to be with someone."

"Whoa. Back up a moment?" Amu frowned. His voice had been drowned out by her train of thought.

"I can't go too long without..." He voice trailed off, and he stared at her for a moment before shrugging. "You know."

"How long has it been?" Her own voice caught in her throat, not sure if she wanted to know the answer.

"It's been a little over two weeks at this point."

"How long can you last?"

"I don't know." He raked a hand through his hair. "I've never tried to quit, and me going for this long isn't intentional. I just know that the longer I go, the more needy I get. The more...I mean, the stronger the craving tends to become." He sighed, and pressed his fingers to his temples. He obviously didn't want to have this conversation with her nor be reminded of what he was putting off and she could tell.

Another female victim... Amu shook her head. She didn't want to say anything that could possibly offend him but the words that tumbled out of her mouth before she had a chance to think about what she should say were probably in the field of being just that. "Is that why you can't love?"

Ikuto smirked at her and his eyes were cold and malevolent. "Tell me, Amu. If we were to fall in love,"

Her heart stopped for a minute.

"How would you feel about me constantly touching and having sex with person after person? How would you feel about me killing them, and feeling damn good about doing it? How would you feel about me doing that over, and over, and over, and over, and ov-"

"I-I get it!" Amu snapped at him, she shook her head in mild irritation. "I'd hate it. It would probably really suck."

He gave her a smile that didn't reach his sad, glistening eyes. "Exactly." He shook his head. "Me loving anyone; The Gods would laugh at me."

"Like a sick joke." A smooth; silky voice said from above them, piercing their own little comfortable bubble that they'd taken up in a small patch of grass on the soccer field.

Amu looked up and her breath caught once again when she saw what stood above her. A tall, slender, long haired blonde girl stood over them. The girl eyed them with sharp, lilac colored eyes. She looked unhappy. Her arms were crossed and Amu felt small in comparison. She said nothing, and continued to say nothing while Ikuto jumped up from their comfortable haven, brushing the invisible dust off of his tunic.

"Utau." He replied, a tinge of unease in his voice. "Why are you here?"

"I haven't seen you in weeks, Ikuto. Not since your last girl."

Ikuto's sister was very fair-skinned. She looked inhumanely pale and was very unlike her brother. Compared to his lusciously tan, she looked like the embodiment of frost. Ikuto had mentioned Utau from time to time and although the topic was rather short each time, she immediately knew who she was. Something vital that Ikuto had not mentioned was how cold and scary his sister seemed to be. Amu expected someone as warm and kind as Ikuto. Utau's hair was like silk and the wind made those tresses dance around the middle of her thighs. She had never seen hair so long, and was astounded with how well taken care of it looked.

"Is this one of them?" Utau had added. She seemed to be specifically ignoring Amu's existence. Not that Amu was complaining. She'd rather not have those cold eyes stare her down. Instead she stayed quiet so as not to draw any more attention to herself. Utau seemed to be someone to fear and Amu wasn't going to be the one to test whether or not that was accurate.

"No. She's a friend." He said slowly, as if testing to make sure it wasn't a lie to himself.

Hm.

"Ikuto, that's ridiculous." Utau laughed, no humor at all in her voice. Rather, she seemed almost concerned. "You don't just become friends with humans. Our relationship to them is not even the give and take type; it's simply take."

What?

Ikuto's POV:

He should've been more alert and aware of the fact that she was arriving. His mind was racing and he struggled to think coherently. Should he tell Amu to leave? Should he tell Utau to leave?

"Ikuto!" Utau shouted, trying to regain his attention.

"Utau," he started slowly, carefully. "Amu can see us. Without our glamourie. She has become a.. companion of mine and that means that I ask for your understanding and kindness towards her." He stressed the latter half of that sentence, and hoped that she would comply.

Truthfully, he didn't know what else to say. If he had told Utau that Amu was just another victim of his, he'd be lying and Amu would more than likely become hurt from it. And even if he could lie, Utau would have him touch Amu for proof. On the flip side, if he told Utau that he meant Amu no harm, she'd get upset. He was going to be walking on eggshells in either scenario and this frustrated him. Did this have to happen today? He thought.

"Ikuto, did she look you in the eyes? Did you two make eye contact?" Utau demanded, casting a glare at Amu, who he could practically feel shrink back.

Knowing where she had been going with this, he rolled his eyes and shook his head with an exhausted laugh, "Utau-"

"I heard that if one of the Fae makes eye contact with a human, that human can control them."

"You always did have a wild imagination." Ikuto mused.

"So answer the question. Did you two make eye contact? Is she controlling you?"

Ikuto was grateful that Amu was smart enough to stay quiet. But he didn't know how to answer her question. Amu and Ikuto did make eye contact. Plenty of times, actually. But... Not in that way. So he answered the other question instead.

"She's not controlling me." He said smoothly, deciding to mimic his sister by also crossing his arms across his chest.

"She could be making you say that. Making you think it's the truth. Did you two make eye contact?" She pressed.

Saying 'no' would be a lie. Saying 'yes' would give Utau incentive to harm Amu, even if her understanding of the concept was mistaken, he was stuck. "I..." He tried, thinking of a way to maneuver around the answer. "I d-"

"Ask a different question. Ikuto can't answer that one." Amu piped up suddenly.

He looked down to the pinkette and had mustered everything in him to pass along a silent message for her to stop talking. Utau turned to look down to her as well, and he noticed Amu stiffen in response. It seems that she sensed Utau was a person to be gentle around; as she should.

"Ikuto will answer any question I give him," Utau scoffed.

Amu's eyes reached his own and he suddenly felt annoyance boil within him. Noticing that Amu raised an eyebrow, it had shocked him and he felt as though he wanted Amu to know that he was the oldest of the two of them. That he was more powerful than Utau. He wanted to put Utau in her place for making him feel weak in comparison.

"Utau I think that you're getting dangerously close to crossing a line that I did not give you permission to." He snapped at her.

Utau noticed the change in his mood and frowned. "This is unlike you, Ikuto. Such a human display of emotions is unlike you."

It was. He was experiencing strange emotions that he had never experienced before. Human emotions. He was taught that a human's emotion was a miniscule waste of time. He was taught that those emotions were watered down and insincere in comparison to his own. Amu was... Contaminating him. And yet, he didn't have the will to tell her to leave. He wanted to get closer to her even more so than before.

"Fine," Utau huffed, throwing her hands into the air in defeat. "Answer this, then. Have you grown close to the mortal?"

Ikuto frowned. He didn't like her barrage of questions. It felt like an interrogation. He knew the rules of the Fae and he knew the consequence of not only telling a human his truth, but also beginning a relationship with one. If he answered yes, Utau would turn him in to the court, and if he answered no, well, he wouldn't be able to. Because it would be a lie. Utau and Ikuto may be siblings, but the laws are the laws and is therefore stronger than their own bond. Utau would have to tell on him if she wanted to keep her own life and no matter how annoyed he was by it, Ikuto couldn't blame her. He's tasted her emotions over the past two weeks, and they've only grown stronger for him. The thought of hurting her in any way hurt him as well. But he also wanted to live. He wanted her to live.

"No, Utau. We're not close at al-" His he clutched at the base of his throat and his eyes widened in reaction. His jaw locked up, and his breathing was cut off short. He felt the burning begin in his chest and felt as the fire inched it's way up his throat. He ducked his head and stared hard at the ground, his vision blurring.

"Ikuto?!" He could hear Amu panicking, and once his vision cleared finally, he seen her reaching for him. He panicked at how close she was to touching him and never reared back so fast in his entire lifetime.

"G-Goddammit, Amu! DAMMIT! Don't you ever do something so stupid like that again!" He yelled, his voice hoarse and his throat raw from the temporary burn. Utau looked grimmer than before but at this point, he was growing too tired to care about his consequences.

"You tried to tell a lie." His sister shook her head. "You've never tried to tell a lie before..."

Ikuto narrowed his eyes. He felt his anger piling on top of his shoulders. Amu trying to touch him... Utau trying to get him killed... Being what he was to begin with...

He didn't need to look at Amu to know how she was feeling. Her emotions only fed his anger. She was shocked, hurt and desperate to understand. He blamed Utau.

"Ikuto, you are my brother. And because you're that, I will help you." Utau said.

Ikuto froze, knowing what she meant. "I don't need your help."

"Ikuto, I'll bring him here. He can help you deal with this. He'll give advice and you can take from him. It's either Yoru, or Father. And you know father wouldn't stand for any of this."

Ikuto bowed his head in defeat. He had to see Yoru. His companion and predecessor. Yoru was the former Gancanagh and was not only older than him but was a hefty five centuries older than Ikuto's father.

"Let me have a personal word with Amu. Don't bring Yoru here. I'll go to him." He ground out.

Utau hesitated before nodding. She had already begun walking to the other side of the soccer field, busying herself with blowing small, thin blankets of snow upon the grass around her. Ikuto turned to Amu immediately and met her misty eyes. He looked deep into her hurt and could feel her confusion as he said, "I'm leaving, and I can't tell you when I'll be back... I don't know."


R&R is greatly appreciated. ^^