Author's Note: I make a reference to the 1985 film Clue in this one-shot (well, sort of; if you've watched the film, you'll know what I mean).
Not Yet Boy-Crazy
"...and then Bianca ditched us to go to the mall with some boys!" Grace finished in exasperation as she rinsed a glass and stuck it in the upper rack of the dishwasher.
"Sounds like she hasn't been a good friend lately," Neil commented, washing a plate and handing it to Grace. It was his night to do dishes with her help, and he'd just spent the last several minutes listening to her vent about her day, which had apparently been ruined in no small part by Bianca, one of Grace's closest friends since kindergarten.
Grace huffed. "You can say that again," she went on, rinsing the suds off the plate. "Did I tell you that Molly and I had to listen to her blather on about if James or Jason was cuter? They're twins—they look exactly the same! And they're dumber than rocks! What's so cute about that?" She pushed the upper rack in with a little more force than necessary and stooped to put the plate in the lower rack.
The corners of Neil's mouth involuntarily twitched upward—of course he and Eva would've made a kid who had no patience for idiocy. Out loud, while scrubbing the next plate, he said, "I'm sorry you had to listen to it, princess."
"I just wish things could go back to normal," Grace said. "Y'know, hang out at each other's houses, talk about something that isn't boys..."
"I can see if I can get a hold of her medical history if you want. Maybe Bianca's got an advanced case of the flu. Or an alien might've taken her over."
Grace laughed.
"Neil, don't joke like that," Eva's voice broke in.
Neil looked over his shoulder to see his wife giving him a disapproving frown from the living room. Eva was sitting in an armchair with her laptop on her lap, and a snoozing Maizie was curled up on the carpet near her feet.
Grace's laughter subsided as she also looked over at her mother. "Well, Daddy's not really wrong. Bianca's totally become a different person!"
"Raging hormones have nothing to do with alien takeovers," Eva pointed out.
"Maybe not," Neil said, "but if she's choosing boys over friends, I say Grace drop her like a hot tamale."
"Yeah!" Grace agreed. "Then she'd know what it feels like to be ditched!"
"Grace, that's not very nice," Eva chided.
"But Bianca isn't being nice either!"
"She's got a point there," Neil said, now not bothering to hide his amused grin.
Eva rolled her eyes. "Just finish up and we'll talk more about this later."
Afterward, once all the dishes had been washed, rinsed, and put in the dishwasher to dry, Neil and Grace went into the living room, where Eva was now sitting on the couch, her laptop left on the chair. Grace made to scurry down the hallway, but Eva spoke up before she could get very far.
"It's now later, Grace."
Grace pouted. "I thought 'later' meant 'bedtime.'"
"It didn't. Come here."
With a sigh and slumped shoulders, Grace walked to the couch and sat down next to Eva, while Neil stepped over to their daughter's side of the couch.
"You remember those talks about puberty we've had?" Eva asked. "About getting breasts and times of the month and all that?"
"Please, there are men and cats present!" Neil interjected.
Grace only nodded.
"Well," Eva continued, "that's what Bianca's going through right now. She can't help that her body's hormones are changing. Is that worth losing a friend over?"
"I'm not the one who decided I didn't like my friends anymore!" Grace argued. "Or that the universe revolves around boys!"
Eva put a hand on Grace's shoulder. "Look, I'm not saying it's wrong to feel frustrated about Bianca's boy obsession—"
"Especially if these boys are making rocks look like they're related to us," Neil quipped.
"But I think you can try to be more patient with her," Eva went on as if he hadn't said anything. "Some girls go boy-crazy for a while and then calm down about it. It doesn't mean Bianca likes you and Molly any less."
Grace raised an eyebrow, looking highly skeptical and even more like her mother than usual.
"You'll be going through this sort of thing, too, you know," Eva said, dropping her hand from Grace's shoulder.
"No, I won't!" Grace protested.
"Eva, don't say that!" Neil exclaimed at the same time, abruptly feeling dinner churn in his stomach.
"Every kid experiences puberty," Eva told Grace, unfazed by the reactions she'd gotten. "Like it or not, it's a part of growing up."
Grace crossed her arms, scowling. "If growing up means getting a head full of nothing but boys, then I don't want to grow up."
"Hear, hear," Neil said.
Eva shook her head. "You say that now, Grace, but one day, you may decide boys who aren't Daddy aren't so bad after all. Right now, though, give Bianca some time. I promise her boy-craziness won't last forever."
"Okay," Grace said, not sounding convinced. She stood up from the couch. "Can I go now?"
"You can."
Grace left the living room and disappeared down the hall. Once he knew she was out of earshot, Neil sighed and sat down in Grace's previous spot on the couch.
"Can't we skip the part of puberty where our daughter starts liking boys?" he asked Eva.
"The answer is highly likely to be no," she replied. She smiled a bit. "Sorry, Neil."
His only response was to groan and hope—not for the first time—that certain effects of puberty would take its sweet time to arrive.
