Hello everyone!
Hope you're all doing great!
Heres a little update while we wait for some
news about the show.
Happy Reading!
Xoxo
Nina
Luckily the day was packed with work allowing Kim to cover her emotions as much as she could. She managed to get the rest of the team caught up with the case and everything they had achieved with Adam at the party, and then spent most of the time behind her computer screen or in the office with Voight as they had various conference calls with Erin during the day.
Adam tried to talk to her endless times, but she kept pushing him away, telling him that it wasn't the best moment and keeping all his interactions with him strictly professional.
But at the end of the day, the words that he heard come out of her lips nearly killed him.
"We're still down for tonight, right? I really need it." It was soft, and probably nobody except for Jay, the intended recipient of her message, and Adam, who was paying extremely close attention to her every move, actually listened to what she was saying.
"Of course. Want me to drive you home and then pick you up?"
"I totally accept the ride home, but I can get a cab back to your place." She answered as she put on her coat and said a general goodbye to everyone while she waited for Jay to turn off his computer and do the same.
Both detectives left under Adam's watch. His blood was boiling, but she could understand why she was acting like that. Although he wasn't sure what exactly had happened in the morning with Victoria, he could imagine everything that she was probably thinking right now.
Atwater observed his friend attentively. He was worried about the look his face was portraying, so he kept working on his desk waiting for everyone else to leave so he could get close to Ruze. "Hey, wanna get a beer or something?"
Adam slid his chair away from his desk and threw his neck back. "I'd love that man, but I need to talk to Tori. I called her already and she texted me saying she was going to be at her place, so…" He left that last part of the sentence hanging.
"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it before you go? You know, to get your ideas straight and not make things worse?"
"Can they get any worse?" Ruzek asked. "Dude you were there this morning right?" Kevin nodded. "What happened?"
"I should be the one asking you that question, bro."
"I know and I will tell you about it, but I need to know exactly what went on this morning."
"She came, she slapped Burge and told her to get away from you." Kevin leant on his friend's desk. "Oh, and she also called her a slut."
"What?"
"Yup. Then I dragged her away from there, because I had no idea what else she was planning on doing. I swear, bruh, I never saw Tori like that before."
"Thanks, man." Adam pinched the bridge of his nose. "This is my fault, and now Jay is probably comforting her."
"Oh god, not the Jay issue again." Kevin just rolled his eyes. "Dude, she went through a pretty crappy experience. Do you really want her to go home alone?"
"No, but not with Jay. I want to be the one that's with her right now."
Atwater understood why Adam was saying that. The same way he understood how invested his feelings for Kim were, but that didn't mean that he wasn't going to try to knock some sense into his friend. "Seriously? Ruze, the woman was humiliated and practically treated like a hooker at the door of the district and in front of two colleagues because of you. Do you really think she wants to see your ass right now?"
"No." The word was a whisper out of his lips. "I can't believe Tori did that."
"What happened?" Kev went back to his original question and Adam looked at him before checking the time on his phone.
"Let's get that beer and I'll tell you, and then I'm going to Victoria's."
The bar they decided to go to was small and quiet. They thought Molly's would give them too much exposure and Adam just wanted to be relaxed for a change and explain everything to his friend.
"You called her what?" Kevin almost spit the beer out of his mouth. He put the bottle down, almost banging it against the table. "You don't do that. That's just wrong."
Ruzek felt like a little kid being scolded for not sharing his toys during recess. "I know, man. Do you think I did it on purpose? I just didn't think."
"You did think, just not about Victoria."
"I didn't want to bring up Kim into the conversation because I didn't want Tori to think this was just about another woman because it's not." Kevin stared at him. "Ok, it is. But even if Kim hadn't come back, I would have never been one hundred percent committed to anyone else because…"
"Because you never moved on and because you still love Burgess."
"Exactly." Adam nodded, having his friend's understanding meant a lot, but he still felt defeated. "And know those steps forward that we took have just vanished."
"Go talk to Tori and then, with all your shit cleared, talk to Kim. From what you tell me, it seems to me that you two might be on the same page."
"I wish. I guess I'm gonna have to ask Jay about that."
"Cut that crap out. She needs a friend and he's there for her. You should be happy about it."
"I am."
"Ok. Keep that thought and focus on fixing whatever you can fix."
"Yeah." He paused to get a pull of his beer and used those extra seconds to really analyze Kevin's advise. "Yeah, you're right."
They finished their beer and Adam went straight to Tori's, just like he had told her. There were a bunch of things that needed to be said and he didn't want to wait anymore.
"Adam." Her voice was whiny as the blonde opened the door for him. "I was so glad when you texted me." She reached forward to kiss him, but he dodge her lips.
"Wait, Tor, this is not what I'm here for. I think we need to talk about what happened this morning."
Victoria stepped aside from the door to let him come in. "Ok. We'll talk, but I'm going first. I really need you to listen to me." The cop nodded. "Do you want a drink or something?"
"Nah, I'm good." He answered before sitting on the edge of her couch. Nothing about this situation was comfortable and his body language was doing a great job at showing it.
"Ok." She tucked her hair behind her ears and took a deep breath as she sat next to him, holding a can of beer between both her hands. "I've been thinking a lot, and I'm willing to put everything, whatever it was that happened, behind us. I will even decline or postpone my internship, if I get selected, to focus on us. But Adam, I stand by what I did and said this morning. I want her to stay away from you and I want you to stay away from her."
"Tori, you do realize that what you did today is a felony, right? You're lucky nothing happened, you could have been arrested." He started speaking, not really addressing what she had said. "You attacked Kim, not even knowing what had happened. Your reaction was so childish and immature."
"I'm immature? You called me another woman's name when we were about to have sex. With that huge clue, I don't need to be a rocket scientist to figure out what happened between you and that whore."
"Don't call her that. If there's someone you need to target your anger to, that's me. I was an asshole, I should have never said her name, I was very disrespectful with you and I am truly sorry about it. But we can't keep going like this."
Victoria was starting to get mad again. This wasn't what she expected to happen, she thought that he was going to come back to her to apologize and tell her to start again. She was hurt, and the bitter reply was an attempt to make her feel better. "So, was it fun fucking her?"
"I didn't have sex with her, Victoria." He sighed and stood up. "Listen, I accept my mistakes and I apologize for that and for hurting you, but we obviously can't have a coherent conversation right now. I think we both need some time. I know I do."
"So, you're breaking up with me."
"Well, it's what I told you last night Tori. I don't see this working for us right now."
Victoria just looked down. "Ok. Fine. If that's what you want."
"I'm very sorry."
"Me too."
"I do care for you Tori, it's just…"
"Just leave, Adam, please. I need to be alone." She cut him off and stood up to open the door for him.
Seeing Tori like that crushed him. Even if his feelings for her weren't that strong, he truly cared for her. He knew she was a good person and that her actions this morning were out of pain and he felt like crap for causing that. But this was the best he could do for the both of them.
On the other side of the city things were slightly different. Kim had just arrived at Jay's, she definitely needed to talk today and Halstead was there for her. They were just having a few beers and waiting for the food they had just ordered while they chatted.
"Glad to see your cheek is not as red as it was this morning." He teased her a little, which made Kim roll her eyes at him.
"Please don't get me started. I still can't believe Adam did that." She took a pull from the glass bottle.
"Did what? Talk to Victoria and potentially end his relationship with her? If I were you I would be glad he did that."
"I guess, if you put it like that."
"What's pissing you off, Burgess?"
"I'm not sure. It's a bunch of things." She shrugged. "We made out last night." Jay looked at her with big eyes and a mischievous smile. "Don't look at me like that, it's weird enough to be talking about this with you, I don't need all that." She said with an embarrassed smile as she pointed to his face.
"Hey, I'm not judging. I'm just very surprised about this turn of events." Now it was Jay the one to take a sip of his beer. "Go on. I'm all ears."
"I don't know, Jay, I guess I got hopeful after last night. It felt so nice to be with Adam like that again. It was as if time hadn't gone by." She made a brief pause, trying to tiger the right words out. "A naive part of me thought that maybe we could have a chance at trying again, but then this morning really hit me."
"No, that was Victoria." He joked making both of them let go a soft chuckle. "I don't get why you're mad at Adam, though."
"I'm not mad at him, I just thought that he had my back and today I didn't feel that. I felt exposed. Agh, I don't know anything anymore."
"Can I tell you what I think?"
"Of course."
"I think Ruzek played his cards right this time. I think he never got over you and everything that happened made him realize that he had to put an end to what he had with Tori. If anything he was probably trying to be honest not to throw you under the bus. I mean, come on, we both know Ruz, he's one hell of an honest and sensible guy."
"I know."
"What did he tell you when you talked to him?"
"That he was sorry and that he was going to talk to her." Kim responded.
"Was that all?"
"Um yeah." She said with some doubts that instantly got all of Jay's attention, who looked at her quizzically. "Ok, so, he wanted to keep talking but I didn't let him. I just left."
"Jesus, Kimberly!" Halstead was as frustrated as she was. "You two need to use your mouths to actually talk and not only stick your tongues down each other's throats." Kim started to laugh and playfully punched his shoulder.
"Shut up, Halstead."
"I mean it, Burgess. You and Adam need to have a good, deep and thorough conversation at some point."
"And what would be the point of that?" She asked with all seriousness while he looked at her as if the answer to that question was the most obvious thing in the world. "No, seriously. Jay, this case ends and I go back to DC and then what? Do we make this a long distance relationship? How would that work? Maybe this was the closure we needed."
"Yeah, uh huh." He said ironically. "Closure that left you wishing for a future together with him."
"I never said that."
"You didn't need to. Kim the look on your face and your mood totally changed after that first almost kiss with Adam and don't you try to deny that." Kim looked down totally defeated. "So that is the point of having that conversation. Sitting down with him, sorting out what you both want and figure out together what you're going to do."
"I don't want to face that."
"Again?"
"Damn, Halstead. That hurt." She brought her hand to her chest. "Talking to you is worse than talking to Lindsay."
"It's great to know I'm doing a good job filling her shoes."
"You are." She closed her eyes with an all knowing look on her face. "Speaking of Lindsay and not at all trying to veer this conversation away from my massive issues and fears." She started, making fun of herself and making her friend laugh. "What's up with your love life?"
"Umm, what's a love life, exactly?" They both laughed now. "I don't have one."
"Really?"
"Yup."
"Why not?"
"I don't know, I guess I'm not focused on that now."
"And what's up with Upton? I think she likes you."
"Nothing. I was interested in her when she first joined the unit but her eyes were somewhere else."
"Ooooh, please spill the tea."
"I don't think you'll like this tea."
"Ruzek?" She asked quickly, getting a soft nod from Jay. "Yeah, maybe I don't want this tea anymore."
"It was nothing. If you ask me it was one of Adam's many attempts to stop thinking about you."
"Hey, he can do whatever he wants. I did too. Erin did too, I'm sure you did it as well." She intentionally introduced her friend's name there.
"Yeah, of course. The thing is, I'm not sure I like her like that anymore. But who knows what will happen down the road." He shrugged.
"And Lindsay?"
"What about her?"
"I don't know. Do you still care about her?"
"Yes. She's a very important person, Kim. I'll always care."
Kim smiled, she liked that answer. "Ok. Fair enough."
They hung out for a few more hours until they finally decided to call it a night. Jay offered to take her home, but she politely declined, telling him that she would call herself a cab.
In the emptiness of his apartment, he kept thinking about their conversation and he wasn't going to let Kim make the same mistake again. This time, he wanted to make sure she actually had all the information she needed to make the right decision, whatever that was, but he didn't want her to live with any more regrets.
He took his phone out of his pocket and looked for one of his contacts, the number and name shining bright on the screen. Jay hesitated a bit before finally hitting the call button.
"Hey, what's up? Sorry about the time." He paused waiting for the reply from the other side of the line. "Listen, I need your help."
