Disclaimer: Don't own. Not Victorious, any of it's characters, and certainly nothing to do with the Hebrew Faith. I'm wicca.
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Robbie was walking into the synagogue, intent on getting this meeting over with. Rabbi Beekman was insistent on talking to him, presumably about his continuing infatuation with shiksa, women who weren't Jewish. 'Like they can tell me who to like.' He thought, steeling himself for the inevitable confrontation.
"Robbie, so good for you to come in." The rabbi greeted. "I wanted you to know, we found ourselves a new hazzan to call the prayrs, so you're off the hook. Still could use your guitar, however. The whole thing has to be sung, and it goes better with a little twang."
"So, you asked me in just to tell me you have a new Cantor for the temple?" Rob clarified. "Look, Rabbi, you can call. It's not against the rules to use technology."
"I wanted you to meet her." The holy man insisted. "We got ourselves a catch in her. Girls a convert, and she wanted to know everything. Studied the Torah, learned our prayers, learned everything she could. Practically did a double major in her normal studies, and our faith. Girl barley had her Bah Mitzvah, and already she's had her semikhah. She'll be working with our youth outreach program, as well as training to handle the various other religious and Hebrew law based responsibilities I've been dealing with for my entire career."
"So you're retiring?" Rob wondered.
"No, the congregation just got too big." The Rabbi laughed. "I'm glad we have her. She's a breath of fresh air. See's the world with such wonder, and it shows. She'll be a positive light in our temple. Which brings me to why I wanted you to meet her."
"Oh god, no!" Robbie said.
"Don't use the lords name in vain." The rabbi chided, but it was a soft rebuke.
"I just, you're not setting me up, are you?" Rob asked.
"You do like gentiles, and she used to be one." Beekman said. "And her surname isn't the least bit Jewish. I was just hoping, maybe you two hit it off, and she can get married, into the community, maybe even take a more acceptable last name?"
"You're asking me to try to romance the new Rabbi?" Robbie was trying, rally trying, to wrap his head around the thought. "There have to be better choices. Guys with loads more charm, and experience, and charm, and lets be honest, I'm not exactly winning with the ladies. Heck, the girl I've been crazy about for the last two years went and married someone else."
"So this is your chance to make amends." Rabbi Beekman said, not letting go. "Robbie, you went to the Hollywood School for the Performing Arts, and while there, you crushed on a series of girls. But that was over four years ago. Since then, you've gone to collage, gotten your degree, and even started working as the music teacher at the local high school. How the wheel turns. But the problem is, my young man, you've never gotten over the girls that got away, from your time at Hollywood arts. It's even ruined your attempt at being a comedian." The holy man gave him a pointed look. "Not that you were that funny, and Rex, that THING was an abomination."
"I still have him." Rob admitted.
"Never bring him here." Beekman ordered.
"Wouldn't think of it." Rob agreed. "Rex isn't Jewish. In fact, the little man isn't exactly that religious. He kinda scoffs at going to temple, thinks I'm wasting my time. After all, sometimes it feels like all that happens is Grandma tries to set me up..." The boy stopped, not sure he wanted to rant about his grandmother in front of the man trying to do the same thing.
"Sylvia is just looking out for you." Rabbi Beekman scolded the nerdy boy. "And I'm a Rabbi, we meddle. No mater how reformed, or unorthodox we are, we Rabbi still meddle."
"It's not that I don't appreciate it." Rob tried to find the polite way to tell this man to but out. "I'd just like to find my own girl."
"Well, I found you a woman." The Rabbi countered. "Deal with it."
They had wandered to just outside the offices maintained for the synagogue. These were more then just the business offices. They were also where the Rabbi, and his assistants, would meet up with locals, go over the many things that the temple did, as well as act as informal meeting space for pastoral counseling, or similar acts that the Rabbi's might be doing. Robbie noted an office that had, last time he'd been there, been unused, now had the door closed and a blank nameplate waiting to be inscribed. 'He wants me to romance this girl so they can have a jewel name on that thing.' Rob told himself. 'God, I hope this girl isn't Alice Hitler. That would be, okay, it'd be hilarious, but I doubt the congregation would be to happy.' Somehow he kept a straight face as he prepared himself for whatever horror show was waiting just beyond that office door.
Chief Rabbi Beekman knocked, waiting a beat or two for any answer, before asking "Can we come in?"
A moment later, the door opened, and Robbie felt his heart stop beating. The one that got away, the real one that got away from over four years ago, was standing in the doorway, smiling at the two of them. Her five foot frame was as cute as ever, even as her dyed red hair stretched down to the floor in a very long pony tail. "C-Cat?" Rob managed to stammer out.
"Oh, that's right, you and Miss Valentine know one another." The chief rabbi noted. "Catarina was even saying how she'd love to talk to you again, maybe soon. I think, maybe, this is an ideal time for the two of you to get together, go over old times, see if any of that old spark is still alive."
"Rob." Cat's high pitched voice somehow managed to sound formal, even as she stepped back to give the boy room to enter her office. "Please, come in."
"Remember, kids, we're in the house of the lord." Rabbi Beekman reminded the two.
"Yea, yea, yea." Cat replied, smiling a cat like smile at her one time almost boyfriend. "So, alone at last."
"Still here." The older Rabbi said.
"Well, who's fault is that?" Cat asked the man.
Rabbi Beekman chuckled, and walked out of the office, leaving Robbie alone with the girl he'd crushed on for years. "So..." He started.
"Wait for it..." Cat said, holding up her hand, counting the seconds. "Okay, Alone at last." She listened carefully, glancing towards the closed door. Quietly, she snuck over, yanking the door open quickly to reveal the hallway. "Okay, looks like we are alone." She smiled again, feeling triumphant. "Sorry, but it's on, like page one of the Rabbi manual, we meddle."
"I recall Rabbi Beekman saying something like that." Rob said, trying to wrap his mind around the enormity of what he was dealing with. "So, you're..." He looked for the right words.
"Yea, I'm Jewish." Cat confirmed. "I wanted to do something to bridge the gap between us. I thought about converting for a while, cause I knew, your family, they'd love me a lot more if I wore one of those funky stars. You know, the one with the extra bit about it."
"The Star Of David?" Robbie asked.
"No, I think it's called..." She thought real hard, trying to remember.
"Wasn't this something you were expected to know?" The would be comedian asked.
"Right, it's called the Star of David among the Jewish people, but in parts of Asia, it's a mystic symbol, and that had their own name for it. Funny, cause I forget that last part, the name, and that causes me to forget, we're all Jewish here, so we can use the Hebrew name, Magen David." She smiled at her friend. "So, you're here."
"I think we established that." Robbie agreed. "And this is far beyond becoming Jewish. You..."
Cat cut him off. "Wasn't gonna do it." She said. "Wasn't originally gonna become a jew. Thing is, it wasn't my belief in god, cause lookie, same guy. No, it was the circumcision. I didn't want my foreskin chopped off. Not at this late date."
"You don't have a foreskin." Rob said, and immediately regretted it.
"Yea, some kids get circumcised as babies for medical reasons." Cat noted. "Either way, once my doctor told me I didn't need the procedure to become a jew, I studied, thinking I could always turn back, not do it, up until the day I did it. That was kinda my no turning back point."
"And so you did this for me?" Robbie asked.
"You really think I did all this just for you?" Cat asked, sounding offended. "I mean, I did, in the end, I did it all for you, but to think that is acting all high and mighty. Heck, we're gonna have to talk about that attitude, mister. I expect respect, cause I'm a rabbit now."
"Rabbi." Rob corrected.
"That too." She snapped. "I bought the ears. Rabbit, cat, and yea, kinda redundant, but I bought em, cause they look so darn cute on me. Not so much on my doggie. Oh yea, I bought a doggie, names her Rodger. Not sure why, but it fit her, and she got used to it, so she's Rodger, and apparently people get offended by that cute, sweet little puppy, cause they tell me she's a total bitch. Isn't that rude of them?" Her brown eyes blinked, waiting for an answer, even as Robbie smiled to himself.
"Yea, sorry about acting so high and mighty." The one time nerd said. "I guess I was more flattered then anything else, except maybe shocked. I mean, what would the others think if they knew?"
"Jade's a Wiccan priestess." Cat informed the boy. "She studied the weirdest things to become one, like Hebrew. Jade helped me learn Hebrew. And Kabbalah. Didn't even know a Rabbi needed to know that, and apparently they don't, but some people, like Madonna, are really into the kabbalah side of Judaism, and so I studied it. I'm also learning to cut a boys thingy down, so he can be a proper Jew."
"You're studying to become a Mohel?" Robbie asked, even as his hands drifted down to cover his own manhood.
"Someone has to do the Brit Milan." Cat replied. "Anyways, I think we're getting off track." She checked her desk, with notes written on it, and smiled. "Oh, yea, I'm supposed to ask you to marry me."
"Wait, marry?" Robbie was unconsciously stepping back. "Isn't this a little sudden?"
"For you, maybe." Cat said. "But I've been working towards this for four years now. I'm past ready. Besides, I know me, and I won't risk dating a friend without some kind of assurance that things will work out. I figure, we're kinda in love as is, so why not just marry, and work the rest out later."
"Cat, that doesn't make any sense." Rob warned, even as, deep in his mind, he could hear Rex telling him that was the best offer he'd ever get. "Take the deal, Rob, before she wises up and chooses herself someone more manly, like Tori."
"Rob, think about it like this." Cat continued. "You and me, we get married, and you can crush the cup. Hmm, gonna have to get a fragile one, cause you weight in at what, a hundred pounds? Maybe more? Either way, we get married, and we break a glass, which feels like such a waste, but it's tradition, and we need to follow that, cause being Jewish, we're really into Tradition, until we're not. I'm fairly sure there's a song about that." Her mind started going through the songs from "Fiddler on the roof" as she sought out what was the correct course of action.
"Cat..." Rob tried again. Inside, he knew she had him. Cat had always had him, since that day, junior year, when the creepy boy realized his dark infatuation had grown to include more then just wanting the cute girl. He cared, enough to let her go. Now, with her staring at him, expecting an answer, he once again felt that caring, and knew they'd do well to wait, let themselves discover their feelings again, so as to avoid resentment. "I think maybe we should date first…"
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Just a fun little story where I explored the idea of Cat as a Rabbi. What do you think Robbie should do?
