Disclaimer: Don't own. Also, finally have time again to edit some of my stuff.

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Jade doesn't cuddle. Of course, she has her reasons, and to the outside mind, they rarely make sense, so she stopped trying to explain. It was one of the things that eventually broke her and Beck up, along with his total misunderstanding of her needs, and his often underhanded ways of trying to trick her into doing what he wants too. Jade just could never allow herself to cuddle, because she understood what it meant when she did so, and that message, never one she wanted anyone to see.

See, she has, to her mind, very good reasons not to cuddle. Reasons like like how cuddling, for a woman, is to feel safe, connected, vulnerable. Jade knows, cause she's read the various books on it. She's a writer, so of course, she did her research, and figured out just what the various authors, self defined experts, all said about the experience. The experts explained, aimed at the men who are supposed to read the books, that women need to feel vulnerable. The experts go on to explain how, the women, they will feel safe when cuddling, and in that moment, that vulnerable moment, they'll fall in love, give the men whatever they want.

Jade understands the feeling, the need. She's felt it, with Beck, with others, and she never wants to be that exposed again. Vulnerable, weak, a victim. Jade understands, because the one time she let herself feel that weak, that vulnerable, she was used, hurt, and Jade West will NEVER feel that vulnerable again.

No, Jade knows, understands, what the men are trying to do. She reads as many pickup artists blogs as she can, follows them on Splashface, stays up to date on the seduction community. She watched, and makes sure neither she nor Cat fall to one of these men. Jade will never be a victim again. No, she's strong, and her strength will keep those around her safe.

Which is how she wound up here, laying next to Tori, arms around the Latina, helping the singer feel safe, secure, protected.

She had no intention of this ever leading to anything. Hell, sex was never on the table, just her need to avoid being a victim, and how that led her to offering to protect the girl she thought of as her rival, her frenimy. So, how, again, did she wind up here, laying on the girls bed, arms around a very naked Latina?

Easy, it seems. Jade refused to play the girls part in her relationships. Even when she tried, insisting Beck decide where they go, what they do, she maintained control. Jade wasn't going to be vulnerable again. Strength and ferocity would protect her, Cat, and ever girl at Hollywood Arts. All Jade had to do was take on the male role, something she'd been drifting towards anyways, and she'd be in control, safe. Never having to be vulnerable.

'So how the holy fuck did she seduce me?' Jade asked, but she'd been over this a dozen times this evening, and had always come the same, unsatisfactory conclusion. 'I seduce myself. I let her play the girlfriend role, until it just felt… Right. I made her safe, partially because Puckett was doing that for Cat, and in the end, I forgot, Cat is like a sister to me, while Tori… She meets that place where rival becomes lover, and I never saw it. I just, happily, walked us both to the edge, and over.'

Jade thought again about her current position, the big spoon, and what it implied to a relationship. 'I'm protecting her, keeping her safe. We're both naked, vulnerable, and I'm keeping her warm and safe. So why the chiz am I feeling so connected? Oh, right, cause the whole act of sex is connecting, and I let her, pushed her until she had to make a choice, and just wasn't ready for the consequences of that choice. I pushed her to do something, and never once saw the choices I was giving her.'

Jade made sure she wasn't going to squeeze her companion to hard, and continued to go over what she'd done. 'I took away the option, the hope we could be friends, and left her only two choices. I.. I even took away enemy, cause I was her friend, kinda, sorta, and she reacted. Beck and me, we break up, and it feels like forever, and she's just there, to help me, support me… Only Jade fucking West doesn't need support. She's strong, fierce, in control, and god so stupid.'

The tear rolled down her porcelain skin, the only outward sign of her internal struggle. 'I made myself vulnerable protecting her. I left her my back, my exposed heart, and she.. She didn't mean anything by it, just wanted to say thank you, and so one thing led to another, and she is supporting me…..'

Jade sighed, acceptance slowly overtaking her mind. 'I left myself vulnerable, and she didn't intend to pounce. But she did, and we slept together, and this isn't some wham bam! thank you ma'am shit. No, I set the stakes, and left her only one choice. To achieve the thing she wanted, some kind of fucking peace with me, she did what she had to, a kiss that led to so much more, and now, I'm thinking, god, sex can bond if your not careful. Bond, which means I may be developing feelings for her, which means I'm still vulnerable. While I hold her, keep her safe, I press my soft underbelly into her, protecting myself. Damn, too many nature shows. Still, it tracks. I did this, and now I need to figure out my way out, cause I can't be vulnerable to anyone. Jade West is strong, in control….'

"What'cha thinking about?" Tori breathed, and Jade felt it, that momentary thrill down her side.

"Just how we got here." Jade replied.

"Yea, that reminds me, I kinda owe Rex five dollars." The singer purred.

"Rex predicted this?" Jade asked, shocked.

"No, Trina did." Tori said sleepily. "Rex just bet that she was right. I mean, come on, even at those odds, it felt like free money. And now, I have to pay him off, and apologize to Trina, who insisted that we'd either wind up in bed, or killing one another."

"Oh…" Jade spent a second thinking. "Never tell anyone this, but I think, this kind of cuddling, I think I can get used to it."

"I know." Tori chuckled. "Jade West has to be the big spoon, cause she's never weak."

"Tell no one." Jade repeated, even as the tired girl was rolling in her arms, preparing to show her goth just how she controlled the relationship.

Tori, for her part, just smirked, enjoying the moment. Secure in the fortress of her girlfriends arms, Tori felt warm, safe, and oddly in control. 'She's so afraid of seeming weak, when in the end, she's really so strong. She just doesn't get it, being vulnerable, showing your soft side, isn't a bad thing. It's showing power, strength, because you're confident in your ability to recover, be there, handle anything.' She snuggled into her girl, while calculations flowed in her mind. 'Not feeling like I need another round. Could so have one, if I wanted. Jade's always vulnerable, just as long as you know how to push her buttons. Just remember, girls strong, has endured so much, so when you have yourself a nice vulnerability to exploit, you use it carefully. Jade, you're mine, and I'm not letting go.'

Her smirk morphed into a full smile. 'No more short term dating, or bad dates for Tori. No I have someone now, someone who needs to be strong, who needs to know she's strong. Jade, you're gonna be with me, for years, maybe for the rest of our lives. I own you now, and I'm gonna take very good care of your heart. Just like you'll take care of mine."

Tori looked at the ceiling, deciding what she wanted to do next. 'Play this very carefully, Tori, cause it'll be a while before Jade understands, it's about how you face it. For one girl, being naked equals being vulnerable. Emotionally, physically, being exposed. However, others, they thrive in their sexuality. Naked is just being without cloths. Still others revel in it, a source of power, at least for a while. No, Jade, you're far stronger then you think. It's just, I'm the one who's gonna help you figure that out. I'm the one who's gonna help you see how strong you can be. Yea…'

She rolled in her lovers arms, to look at her face. 'Yea, I need you to figure this shit out, Jade. I'll stay quiet, for now, until you figure out just where your strength is. Sure, you have all the masculine traits people associate with half the lesbian community. But I see where your true power lives, and it's in your femininity. Not just the big boobs and the pretty face. No, it's your heart. You're very wonderful, very passionate heart. It's the place where you draw so much of your creativity from. It's where you find your true power, and it's where you come from when you make things happen. Yea, Jade, I need to be the one to help you figure out this whole new world, cause you can't be this cut off, ultra butch bitch. It's really not you. No, my dark queen needs to see, her femininity, her softness, thats where her power flows from. That, and she's so much fun to cuddle with. Just we won't use that word, at least not in public. Damn, who'd have thought I'd be a breast girl...'

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Thoughts?