Disclaimer: I don't own.
Wrote this during the pandemic, and well, just wanted to publish something…
:}
"Jade, please tell me you're wearing something." Tori said, seeing the carefully edited image of her girl on the screen. Video chat, once a convenience for people who traveled as much as they did during the early days of their relationship, had become a requirement.
"I'm wearing something." The pale girl assured he wife. "I'm just, I set up my camera so I could relax during this meeting."
"Um, what now?" Andre asked. He was no stranger to video chat meetings, since his unexpected addition to the family had been forced to use it to go to school.
"Jade's naked." Beck clarified. "Robbie, you may wanna clean your mind, cause I'm fairly sure my ex can kill over video chat."
"I wasn't gonna say a thing." Rob promised, even as he was thankful the screen cut off mid chest.
"I'm not naked." Jade promised. "The Homeowners association's been getting on my case for soaking nude in the hot tub. I swear, it's in the back yard, away from public views, and yet, they're telling me I have to wear cloths, not make love to my tender yet prudish wife in the Jacuzzi…"
"I KNEW IT!" Tori roared. "I knew it, I did. You, you got that wonderful Jacuzzi tub for our bathroom cause you couldn't use the hot tub out back, cause…" A blush covered her tanned face.
"God, Jade screws her wife." Cat groaned. "People, grow up. Jade's dressed. I know she is, cause I signed the complaint."
"Why?" Jade challenged.
"Yea, why admit that?" Beck added.
"Cause if I can see her yellow bikini…" Cat stopped. "Yellow? I thought you hated yellow?"
"You're wearing MY suit?' Tori questioned.
"It's adjustable." Jade defended. "And I miss my wife. Why else would I be caught dead in this suit. And Cat, I had you buy that house because it was the only neighboring home that I felt that could possibly see into our yard."
"And I appreciate you thinking of me when you wanted to have girly sex with Tori." Cat deadpanned. "Tori, when can you return?"
"I'm almost done." The Latina promised. "I just had no idea of the whole drama I'd face here in New York, around the new music, or Jared, or…"
"You promised me he wouldn't be there." Jade growled.
"You had commitments." Tori shot back. "I wasn't gonna admit that the self styled Lothario was working on my album, cause then you'd have either not let me go, or would have insisted on coming along, and then we'd have even more issues. Do you have any idea how long the sentences are here for assault?"
"She has a point." Robbie said.
"So, anyone have anything new to tell?" Beck asked. "Other then how close we are to the two weeks for Jade and Tori."
"I met someone." Andre said. "That is, I met someone who is willing to date a well paid songwriter who may have a kid or two from previous girls. I just, how is it I'm the one who wound up with custody of both?"
"Because you tend to date girl who, if we just went by their mental acuity, should still be considered minors?" Jade sniped.
"Tori, get back here and comfort your wife." Dre insisted.
"Just not in the back yard." Cat added. "I wanna be able to hold garden parties, and you two getting it on, kinda a distraction."
"I agree." Tori said. "Cat, how's your latest album coming?"
"It's done." Cat said. "I just need a second rate comedian to come by and listen so I can be sure it's right, then maybe I CAN BE THE ONE GETTING LUCKY IN HER BACK YARD!"
"Robbie, I believe that was your cue." Beck said. "And Jade, relax, I've been keeping an eye on Jared. Guys been skeezing on some of the girls working in the show I'm in. Kinda disgusting, really. I mean, sure, he's a good looking man, had a descent job, all that chiz. But he's like forty, and they're like twenty, and he still thinks they need to go for him now, before they get too old."
"He really is a decent sound engineer." Tori defended the man. "And he's professional. Never hits on the talent while trying to get the album done. Once it's over, however…"
"They'd better ship your ass home, cause I agreed to work around Hollywood until this damn pandemic is over, so why the holy hell is the woman I married off in New York?" Jade growled.
"I'm thinking it was at the suggestion of the homeowners association." Cat guessed. "Thought I didn't sign that petition, assuming there was one. I mean, why have her away, when it's just gonna make you cranky, and a cranky Jade is more likely to break a few of the rules, like hunting stray pets again. I don't think anyone believed you'd planned to bring any of them back alive."
"It was a dart gun, cause some of the houses have Big pets, the kind we shouldn't be allowed to have, like lions or wolves or sharks or ducks." Jade explained. "Had to have something nasty for the ducks, really. But yea, they complained, cause I may have been seen as a threat to the family pets. Guys, given what lives in some of the walled off yards, don't let your pets wander, cause you probably won't get them back."
:}
Thinking I'm gonna keep it's ending here, where I found it. Just a reminder, cranky Jade is not fun to be around. Thoughts?
