Disclaimer: This is a work of fanfiction, I do not claim any rights to any of the characters or concepts created or owned by Viz Video or Rumiko Takahashi. This is just the work of one fan to the others. The only characters or concepts that I claim are the ones I created or introduced. That said, I bring you:

Ranma ½: When you are lost in a sea of grief, look for a light to guide you home.

Chapter 15: Defining Oneself.

Ranma and Xian Pu walked side by side, each with an umbrella for maximum coverage as they did their best to ensure that Ranma did not end up wet enough to trigger the change. So far, they had been surprisingly successful, but they both knew how fast that could change, often at the most inopportune moments.

Neither of them was looking forward to the conversation that was most likely ahead of them. Perhaps it had been wrong to get the job on what could be considered false terms, after all. But, in many ways, how false was it, really? That was the thought that had passed through Xian Pu's mind at one point, as she thought about how often Ranma ended up in one form or the other. This was a different Ranma than the one that she had known before, the trials and years of self doubt had changed Ranma, in ways that neither of them truly understood.

It continued to make Xian Pu really consider just who Ranma was anymore.

They had some ideas about how to handle this, but they both had figured they would probably have to handle this mostly on the fly, especially since the curse was involved. There was also the fact that Hinata was not a resident of Nerima, and thus was more than likely not affected by the strangeness and insanity that seemed to permeate that particular ward for some reason.

They made it as far as the block before the center before Ranma ended up getting splashed and suddenly was considerably shorter. The pair exchanged a look, then ducked into a nearby alley so that Ranma-chan could douse herself with enough hot water to change back, and to swap into the spare set of dry clothes that they had brought along, just in case.

Preparation had always proven to be key, if you wanted to try and keep the curse from making their lives any more interesting than normal. And Ranma was determined to be able to speak to Hinata in his birth form, even though it was his female form that was employed there.

They made it in without any further incident, and both of them saw Hinata where she stood at the front desk. The three of them exchanged a look, as Hinata looked back and forth between them.

"Let's go to my office, I have some questions for you, Ranma." Hinata said before she led them back to the office. "Your sister was supposed to be here as well, Ranma. And who is your friend?" Hinata asked, before she sat behind her desk, and looked down at the manilla envelope before she reached in and pulled out what was inside and laid the stack of photographs face down on her desk.

Ranma and Xian Pu exchanged a look, as Hinata watched them interact before Xian Pu spoke up. "My name is Xian Pu, and thank you for having us today." She said before she bowed deeply. "I'm a friend of Ranma's, and the roomate. I… am here to help explain things, if need be."

Ranma cleared his throat. "Shampoo here is… Well, an old friend and I kind of might need her to explain everything…" Ranma trailed off, as Hinata pursed her lips and then turned the stack over before she laid the pictures out on her desk. Ranma stared at them, as the shift was revealed and he grew steadily more pale.

"Where… Did those come from?" Ranma asked as he felt Shampoo slide her hand into his and give him a supportive squeeze.

"You seem more surprised that I have these than that they show… Whatever it is that they show." Hinata said as she bit her lip and sighed. "Can either of you explain just… What am I seeing here? Is this some sort of prank? A bit of photoshop or something?" Hinata said as she pressed her hands to the desk and Xian Pu could see the tension in the other woman's body.

"Ranma, it is better that she knows now, before she finds out and it is a shock then." Xian Pu said, then smiled as Ranma gave her a meek little nod. Xian Pu had to admit, this side of Ranma was cute in its own way.

Ranma sighed, and looked around. He spied a glass of water on the desk, and started to reach for it before he stopped and looked at Hinata. "Do.. You mind if I take this glass of water? And… You don't have a heart condition or anything, right?" He asked nervously.

"If you are thirsty, I can get you a glass of tea or something, instead of a glass of water that has been sitting on my desk…" Hinata started to say, then the rest of what Ranma had asked registered and she gave him a very strange look. "No… Not as far as I know. Can I ask why, and how does this relate to why your sister isn't here… And these pictures of the two of you?"

"It.. Really is easier to show than to try to explain…" Ranma said and hedged for a moment before he felt Shampoo give his hand another squeeze of support before he dumped the cool water over his head, and felt the change as it happened. Ranma-chan looked at the shocked face of Hinata and spoke softly as she looked down. "I'm Ranma… I'm sorry 'bout this…"

Luckily for all of them, Hinata had been seated when she passed out from shock.

When Hinata opened her eyes, she found herself laying on the couch in her office, with a worried Ranko and Xian Pu nearby. She slowly sat up and rubbed her face. "I'm sorry… I must have fallen asleep while I Was waiting for you or something, since I had the strangest… dream…" Hinata trailed off, as she looked back and forth at the two other women. "You are…Shampoo…" She said as she looked at Xian Pu.

"It was not a dream, no. And please, call me Xian Pu." Xian Pu said with a soft smile.

"Xian Pu… Okay… Ummm… Why did Ranma… Or Ranko…. Or… Or…. Gah, my head hurts… I don't understand any of this…" Hinata said as the rest of everything came back to her. "Why does Ranma call you Shampoo, then? And…. Can you please explain just what is going on here?"

"Ummm…. Because her name is Shampoo? I mean, it's strange and all… But all of the people from her village have names like that…" Ranma said, then looked at Hinata. "Are you sure you want to know? It's… Going to be really hard to explain, and some of it is going to seem… Well, impossible."

"I'm sure. I think I deserve to know… And more impossible than what I have seen already?" Hinata asked, then got a bit more worried as Xian Pu and Ranma exchanged another look before the two of them pulled up chairs and sat down. If Hinata didn't pass out again, then this could be a long explanation.

Ranma-chan took a breath, then started her story with Xian Pu at her side to offer support, and explanations where needed. She started at the beginning of her training trip, but excluded the seppuku contract. It no longer applied, after all, and it really didn't help with telling the story. She debated not talking about the neko-ken, but since the furry little demons seemed to LIKE tormenting her… It was probably best to let Hinata know, just in case. She debated for a moment, then decided with how insanity seemed to follow her, she had best explain about Ukyo… Just in case.

Hinata felt more and more stunned as Ranma-chan calmly talked about what her early life had been like, then raised her hand after a little bit. "So… Let me get this right… Your father threw you into a pit filled with…" She stopped what she had been about to say at the panicked look on Ranma's face and as Xian Pu waved her free hand frantically to stop her from uttering the C word in front of Ranma. Hinata cleared her throat as her fists clenched and Ranma visibly shrunk back just a bit. "Let me get this straight. Your father abused you, tormented you, and then gave you a severe case of ailurophobia, all in some misguided attempt to turn you into some sort of… Legendary martial artist?"

Ranma nodded meekly as she seemed to shrink in on herself more, and Hinata sighed. "Ranma, I am not angry at you, okay? Take a breath… Relax… I am not mad at you." Hinata took a breath herself to clear her mind as she took in the state of the redhead in front of her and smiled softly. "I'm not mad at you, okay? It's clear that you had a very traumatic childhood, and it had to be rough as a young girl with a father like that."

"W…What do you mean, as a young girl? I was born as a boy… I got cursed to turn into a girl…" Ranma-chan said as she tried to shrink even more into herself. It took Xian Pu placing her other hand over Ranma's and giving a comforting squeeze before Ranma-chan would look up again.

"That… Is something I want to know about… How, exactly, did you do…. Whatever it is that you did? And… You said you were born as a boy? Then… Knowing that I wanted a woman for the class… Why did you… I mean… Please, explain this to me?" Hinata said as she did her best to not show just how frightened, panicked, and maybe a little betrayed she felt at the moment.

Xian Pu looked at Ranma-chan, then turned to address Hinata. "Is it okay if I handle this next part? I know quite a bit about it, since I used to live near the cursed springs of Jusenkyo…. And I have my own curse, but I can't and won't show you, not right now…." Xian Pu said as she looked at Hinata.

Hinata smiled and bit her lip before she nodded. "Please do, Xian Pu. I… Really need to know as much as my mind will handle so I can decide just what to do."

Xian Pu took a breath and tried to relax before she started her part of this discussion. In the past, there was almost no way that Ranma would not have let her explain this, instead he would have plowed ahead regardless of how much or little he knew. It was another sign of how much that Ranma had changed in the last two years. "The Cursed Springs of Jusenkyo are also called the Pools of Sorrow, because of what they are and how they came to be. Each of the pools has had a being, or group of beings, drown in them. And those that fall into them… Are cursed with the form of whatever drowned in it. Ranma fell into the Pool of Drowned Young Girl, and… That is why Ranma turns into a girl. Cold water turns you into your cursed form, and hot water returns you to your birth form."

"So…. You said that both of you have curses, then? Ranma turns into a girl…. And you can't tell me, because Ranma is here?" Hinata said as she chewed on her lip and did her best to accept what she had been told as the truth, even if it all sounded like some crazy story told to her by someone who was experiencing there chunibyo phase. It… Was a lot to take in and accept, and it raised more questions than it really answered. Still, she had some questions, and it seemed like Xian Pu was the one that was more likely to be able to give her the answers she needed. "So, how… ummm… complete is the change? I mean… Do you just LOOK like a girl, or…." Hinata said, and then laughed as she shook her head. "Of course you just look like a girl, right?"

Xian Pu shook her head. "You become whatever drowned in the pool. Now, not everyone turns into exactly what drowned in that pool, unless it is very specific. For example, not everyone who has fallen in the spring of Drowned Young Girl looks like a short, busty redhead…. And yes, the change is complete, as far as the people of my village know. Size, shape, and the abilities that are associated with that form all become yours, for good or bad."

"Wait…. So, if you became a bird… You could fly? Or, if somehow a fish drowned in the pool… You would become a fish, and die if you didn't get into the water?" Hinata said with a horrified look on her face, then looked at Ranma-chan. "And…. Does that mean that people who have fallen into the spring of…. Drowned young girl, you said? Does that mean that they have periods, as well? That… They can get pregnant?"

As Hinata talked, she could see Ranma-chan growing ever more pale, before the redhead looked at the door, then back at Hinata in a pleading manner. Xian Pu came to the aquatransexual's aid as she smiled at Ranma-chan and nodded. "I'm sure that Hinata would be okay if you changed back, Ranma. Take your time, gather yourself, and we will be here when you come back. Right, Hinata?"

Hinata cleared her throat and nodded. "Make yourself comfortable, Ranma. We will keep talking when you get back."

The other two women watched as Ranma hurried out of the room, and the two of them exchanged a look before Hinata took a drink of her tea to settle herself before she looked at Xian Pu to try and get a few more answers before Ranma returned.

"So, since the curse changes the body… Does it also change your mind? I mean… Does it make you think and act in certain ways?" Hinata asked as she continued to try and wrap her head around everything.

"Not usually, no. When I'm in my cursed form, I still think like I always have, I don't suddenly start behaving like a… like a cat.". Xian Pu said as she blushed a little.

Hinata blinked, then it all made sense, or at least as much sense as any of this had so far. "Isn't that… bad? With Ranma's phobia, that can't be good…"

"We are careful, and I have a limited supply of a special soap that keeps my curse from activating all the time.". Xian Pu said. "Now, there are a very few curses that do change how you think, but they are very specific ones. Like the Spring of Drowned Buddhist Monk."

"Really? So, is the… the spring of Drowned Girl the same?" Hinata asked.

Xian Pu hesitated for a moment, then pressed onward. "No, it isn't. It does not directly change how a person thinks or reacts."

Hinata paused for a moment. "And you are sure that Ranma was born as a boy? I mean…. He? She? Sure reads as a girl when, well, they are one…. A girl who has lived a very traumatic life."

"So I'm not the only one that has picked up on that…." Xian Pu said and hung her head. "Before…. Everything happened two years ago…. Ranma was the most obnoxiously masculine man I had met. He was always shouting how he was a man, regardless of what form he was in…. Now, though… it's a lot harder to tell at times."

"Everything that happened? You mean, more than what I have been told already?" Hinata asked as she cradled her cup of tea between her palms.

"I wish I could say that it was, but… The last two years have been really rough on Ranma. He lost his fiancee, his home, and his family, all in an incident that… was not his fault. No one could have done better, no one. But… Everyone blamed him for what happened, for… Akane's death. And after that…. Ranma just… gave up…" Xian Pu said softly, then jumped a little as she felt a warm hand rest on hers. She looked up to see the softly smiling face of Hinata.

"I think I'm getting a better idea of what is going on here. My head hurts, and none of this makes any sense, but it's clear how much you two mean to each other." Hinata said as she sat back, and arched an eyebrow as Xian Pu turned as red as Ranma-chan's hair. "You two are dating, aren't you?"

Xian Pu sputtered and laughed a little as she looked anywhere but at Hinata. "Of course not! Xian Pu and Ranma no date! Is friends only! No date! Hahaha…. Xian Pu think funny, Ranma and Xian Pu date…."

Hinata blinked at that, and nodded with a little smile on her face. "I see… Well, if you can calm down, I do have a few more quick questions before Ranma gets back, okay?"

Xian Pu nodded as she turned even redder before she took a quick breath or two and tried to get her mind and heart to slow down even a little bit.

"Do you think Ranma would be willing to talk to some people about…. Well, his mindset? I think that Ranma is in…. A very precarious place right now, balanced between too many things, and not… Really sure who they are anymore, right?"

Xian Pu thought about that, and nodded a little. "Ranma might, but then again, might not… It's hard to say, honestly. Ranma has never been really good with dealing with thoughts and feelings…. That is part of the reason that things have always gotten so messy."

Hinata nodded and thought about it. "I'm still not happy that I was lied to, but… Honestly? I don't even know if Ranma really lied to me right now or not…" She sighed. "This is all so confusing. Magical curses, crazy martial arts…. Next thing I will be told that Gods, demons and monsters exist." She laughed, then went silent as she looked at the drawn, fixed smile on Xian Pu's face. "They… Don't exist, right? Xian Pu? They… Don't exist…. Right?" Hinata paled a bit more as Xian Pu remained silent, then both of them jumped a little as a now male Ranma knocked once and entered the room again.

"Sorry 'bout that…." Ranma said as he once again found the floor interesting.

"It's okay, Ranma. We all get a bit overwhelmed sometimes." Hinata said, then poured Ranma a fresh cup of hot tea. "Do you feel like continuing, or shall we talk about this another day, once all of us have gathered a little bit more of our wits about us…. And I feel less like I am waiting for someone to come give me a nice self-hugging jacket before I am put in a nice, safe little room?"

Ranma blinked and looked at Xian Pu for an explanation.

"She meant that she is feeling a bit overwhelmed, Ranma. She was talking about having to be put in a straitjacket and sent to a mental ward." Xian Pu said as she rested her hand on Ranma's again.

"Why? Is she working on escape techniques now?" Ranma asked as he quirked an eyebrow.

Hinata sighed and looked in her desk for a pair of cards, and slid them across to Ranma. "I would like three things from you, Ranma. One, think about talking to these people. One of them is a good counselor I know, who I think would be able to help you out with some of the more…. Stressful… things from your past. I wouldn't recommend going into everything…. But they might be able to help. The other card is for the person who organizes a group for friends and family of people who are transgender, or are having other identity disorders. I think that talking to them might help you, and it would probably not be a bad thing for either of you to do, honestly." Hinata pulled out a notebook and wrote a few quick things in it before she pulled the page out and slid it into an envelope. "These are a few rules going forward that I insist that you abide by. I won't accept anything but complete honesty from now on, is that clear?" She looked at Ranma until the nervous martial artist nodded meekly, then bobbed her head as she tried to relax and smile at Ranma again. "The third thing I want you to do is work, really work, on figuring out just who you are now. Not who you used to be, or who you think you should be, but who you are." Hinata stood up and motioned for the other two to do the same as she led them towards the door. "We will let you keep working with us, Ranma, as long as you can abide by the rules and work on that last thing, okay? Now, you two go home and relax, and I am planning on doing the same once I can leave work."

Hinata waited until the other two were gone before she asked one of the other girls to watch the front, walked into her office and laid her head on her desk.

There was not enough aspirin or alcohol in the world to make her head hurt any less, or any of this make any more sense.

And she had forgotten to mention to them the fact that someone knew about Ranma, and had sent her the pictures.