AU: When an exploration mission goes way off the left field, Jack and Sam are left to patch up their lives. Will that door stay open?
Disclaimer: All recognisable characters are the property of MGM/Amazon. No copyright infringement intended. I am once again taking my favourite two Gaters for a walk in an Alternate Universe. Takes place after 5.05 Red Sky with some canon episodes skipped (overlooked) and others referenced.
Rating: Gonna start this one as M from the get-go.
Chapter 13: Remember
There were things I knew without a doubt. General facts, scientific data, the value of Pi to the first thirty-three digits after the decimal and world events. Traffic in Colorado Springs at 5pm was awful, neutron stars can spin at the rate of 600 rotations per second, 3.141592653589793238462643383279502, and the Berlin Wall fell in 1989. There were other things. A birthday cake, a young woman spinning a Knight, a red sun, an exploding rocket, and a stone circle containing a wormhole. The word Stargate came to mind. Did I work with this Stargate? Perhaps.
Last, but not least, I remembered those chocolate brown eyes. Brown eyes behind a shimmering blue... something. Brown eyes begging me to follow his order. Brown eyes reflecting an orange glow. Brown eyes changing from soft and caring to hard and unyielding. The same ones that stared at me over a chess board a few hours ago. How is it that I could know his eyes so completely but not his name or why he was important to me? New things were popping into my head constantly or somehow just suddenly making sense, so hopefully given time, I would remember. Things that I felt I should know were drawing a blank, like the big dark-skinned man with the gold thing on his head. Who was he? How did I know him? What was that mark he wore?
My head and my arm hurt, and I had a needle in my hand with a line running up to one of those bags of fluid, so I reasoned I had been in an accident and that was why I was here. I just didn't know what kind of accident. My fingers were clumsy, and my mouth felt like it was full of cotton wool. I could barely feed myself without making a mess and I could not do simple things like smile or raise my eyebrows or talk. It was frustrating to feel so… I don't know… empty, useless, broken?
How is it that I know that the Knight moved in an L shape, but not know how I ended up in hospital with three men keeping me guard. Was I a prisoner? No, I didn't think so. Deep down, I felt like I knew them, had relationships with them, in some cases intimately. Like the guy with the eyes. My heart fluttered and body pulsed the minute he walked in the room and smiled at me, but I didn't remember him or how I knew him, but considering I recognised his unique smell, his voice, and the way he smiled. The word 'Sir' was dancing around in my mind along with something else that I couldn't quiet latch onto. He smiled when I called him Sir, so I must have done something right. I wished I could ask him, but for some reason, I still struggled with more than a few single syllable words, and even those were difficult.
Looking down at the name tag I had in my hand; I traced the letters but couldn't remember how I got it or who it belonged too. Maybe it was mine. I felt my heart rate increase, I didn't know my name. How could I know other things and not know who I was? I traced the letters again. O'Neill. It was familiar, I just didn't know why. Opening my mouth, I tried to sound out the word.
"Oh Nnnn… Oh Nnnnnn!" I tried but couldn't manage to make the last part come out. Clenching my fist with the nametag in it, I closed my eyes and tried again. "Oh Nnnnn…" The feeling of a trickle of wetness gliding down my chin had me throwing the badge and fumbling with the sheet to wipe my face. Dammit! My mouth just would not work and now I had spit on myself. No. I was better than this. I knew Pi for goodness sakes! I could read and remember complex mathematical equations. I could say my goddamned name! What had they called me? Sam.
"S…Ssss…ssss…" I stuttered. C'mon you can do this. Taking in several deep breaths, with closed eyes, I focused on the word. "Ssssam." I pushed out followed by another shower of saliva. Wiping my face, "Ssss-aamm." I tried again, slower this time and without the torrent that accompanied my last two attempts. I decided to try the other name again, the one from the badge that was laying at the end of my bed. O'Neill. Scooting forwards, I managed to pick it up. It gave me a sense of comfort. This name was important to me. It wasn't mine, but something told me that it should be mine, that I wanted it to be mine. Was it his? Looking at the letters again, the realisation hit me that it was his, that I got it from him. Bringing it to my nose, I noticed it smelled like him. Woodsy with a hint of gun oil and old leather. Suddenly a memory flashed through my mind – his lips on mine, his dark eyes, his weight on top of me, the sound of my name as he – oh wow. Blinking out of the memory, I looked at the name again. If I knew him like that, maybe this was my name. He had said my name tag had Carter on it, but this felt more right. Sam O'Neill.
"Oh…Nnn..." I faltered and dribbled again, slamming my head back into the pillow, I winced at the spike of pain that travelled through my head. What the hell was wrong with me? If I couldn't communicate or remember people or feed myself, then what was the point in them keeping me around? I hated this! I hated myself! I hated them! Tears sprung to my eyes at the hopelessness of my situation. Tentatively lifting my hand to my head, I felt a thick bandage. Pulling at it until it sat crumpled in my lap, I lifted my hand again and felt around the part that was sore feeling another dressing and skin… then more skin. No. My hair. It was gone.
"No…no…NO!" I cried out to the empty room, feeling my mouth let go another torrent of wetness.
Feeling the panic rise, I kicked at my bedding frantically. Sliding out of the bed, I planned on making for the small bathroom. Using the bed to hold myself up, I moved slowly towards the end of the bed struggling on feet that wouldn't work properly until the line in my hand pulled at my skin. Crying out at the sharp pain, I looked down and roughly tugged at the tape, wincing as the needle came out. Venturing forward once more in a shuffle towards the end of the bed, when I got there, I felt strong enough to try to short few steps to a mobile trolley. My first step seemed fine, but as soon as my other foot lifted off the ground and my hands had nothing to grasp, I felt myself falling. Reaching out, I grabbed at the only thing within reach, which was the trolley. Crashing into it, then falling backwards, I landed on my hip and banged my head on the floor. Using the last little bit of strength I had, I lifted myself up on shaky arms and reached for the trolley. Gripping the legs, I pulled myself up until the wheels moved and I lost traction when the trolley overbalanced and tipped. Then I was falling again, this time bringing the trolley and its contents with me.
"Afternoon Lieutenant!" I called out to the airman refilling the buffet with red jello.
"Good afternoon, Colonel." He responded as he placed a spoon in each glass.
"No blue left?" I asked, looking over the sea of red, green, and yellow. I hoped there was because otherwise my trip up to level 3 would have been in vain since the mess on 22 had not been restocked after lunch.
"Of course, Colonel." He said with a chuckle, "We always keep two on hand for Major Carter."
"Great! I'm going to see her now."
"Give me a moment and I'll get them for you." He replied. Daniel had said it quickly spread through the catering staff that Carter was in the infirmary with no memory after someone manning the mess on 22 asked why she hadn't been by for her blue jello for almost a week. Now that my briefing with the Russian's was done, I was on my way back to see her hoping she would be awake. Even though the main commissary was 18 floors and an elevator change away from her, I did not think twice about making the journey. "Here you are Colonel. I hope she is feeling better."
"Thanks, Parker." I replied with a two-finger salute before turning and making my way back to the elevators to begin my descent down to level 21. At the half way mark, I saw Colonel Chekov who had been strangely absent at the briefing. Thankfully, he was engaged in conversation with Zukhov further down the hallway, a conversation that he stopped when he spied me. Damn. Jumping into the elevator while deftly transferring the second jello between my arm and body, I hit the button for 21 and repeatedly pushed the close doors button to escape. No doubt he'd complain to Hammond, but I would deal with that later.
Despite Zukhov being a typical hard-nosed Colonel protecting whatever secret squirrel stuff his government was researching on P2X-338, the briefing was conducted without overuse of the word classified. Though I wasn't sure how much of that was him and how much of that was General Hammond's presence. The pyramid they found – no ziggurat – I corrected myself after hearing Daniel's voice in my head berate me for the wrong terminology. Great, now I was thinking in Space Monkey. They mentioned a magical stone, the Eye of Tiamat, that apparently, they were not looking for, although every bone in my body screamed that Zukhov was lying about it not being a priority. I suppose we would see when the research team returned.
Leaving the elevator on 21, I almost ended up in a collision when Lieutenant Nicolls rushed past me in a hurry, and then straight into Carter's room. What the? I swallowed and jogged the few metres down the corridor as best as I could holding two jello glasses and shouldered my way through the door. Seeing Janet by her bedside, her back to me and Nicolls on the other side setting up a new saline drip.
"Doc?" I called. She turned around, the stethoscope buds still in her ears, and waved me over. Edging closer, I put the two glasses down to see Carter out like a light.
"Colonel." Janet said at length after putting her stethoscope around her neck. "She had a fall and banged her head. Then the trolley fell on her when she tried to use it to get back up. We found her bandage on the floor. She was distressed about her head, probably more accurately her missing hair." Janet explained. I winced. Carter had had a relatively large section of her head shaved. While she wasn't girly so to speak, waking up with almost a quarter of your head shaved would be a shock to anybody.
"Will she be OK, Doc?" I asked, "I bought her some blue jello."
"She'll be fine. We haven't sedated her. She was calm and only fell asleep a few minutes ago. You can put those in the medical fridge over there." She told me. Looking over, I read the sign and smirked.
"You sure Doc? The sign does say 'no food in this fridge'." I pointed out. She gave me a look that said, no food in that fridge unless I say you can. I nodded with a smile, picked up the two jellos and walked over to the fridge.
"Are you staying Colonel?" Janet asked as she packed up her medical toys and jotted a few notes on Carter's file before dropping it back in the holder at the end of the bed.
"Yeah. Teal'c is relieving me at 1900 hours."
"1800 Colonel. You need to go home and sleep as well."
"I'm fine Doc." I pushed back on her suggestion.
"Those marks under your eyes suggest otherwise, Sir. I can make it an order if I must." She challenged. With a roll of my eyes, I relented and huffed a 'fine' under my breath before pulling my chair closer to Sam. There was no point arguing with Janet because she'd pull rank if I didn't agree to her suggestion. She merely smirked and left the room. Pulling out a deck of cards, I settled in the play a few hands of solitaire while I waited for Sam to wake up. My plan was to see if she remembered how to play poker. We had already established that she remembered chess, backgammon, and checkers. In fact, I hadn't won more than a handful of games since starting this exercise.
Almost four hours later, I had long given up on solitaire and had pulled out my new mobile phone. Teal'c had bought everyone on the team a Nokia 3100 for Christmas when he discovered it had a game called Snake. It had become a competition within SG-1 to see who could get the longest snake before it crashed into itself. After a while, the competition had expanded to included SG-2 and SG-13 with Colonel Dave Dixon as the current champion. I had just started a new game after getting cornered on my last one when the sound and rhythm of her breathing changed signalling that she was walking up. I smiled when she stretched and made a happy little sigh before her eyes flicked open.
"Hey, you." I said to her.
She opened her mouth, "Hhh...eee." She said back to me. I could not have stopped my smile if I tried. The sides of her mouth twitched trying to smile back, but I could see her struggle.
"Good job Carter, you'll get there." I said, and patted her arm.
"Ccc-a…rrr-" She tried.
"Yeah, you are Sam Carter." I told her. She looked at me a little perplexed, then pulled out my name tag.
"Sssaamm." She repeated.
"Yes, yes you are."
"Ohneell."
"That's me. Colonel Jack O'Neill." I said and offered my hand to shake. She smiled and shook my hand before looking back at me.
Pointing to herself, she said, "Ssssaaamm Ohnnnell." Her words hit me harder than I expected. That was proof she didn't remember, because there was no way she would still want me if she remembered how ruthless I had been. Taking her hand in mine, out of habit I checked to make sure no one else was around before kissing the back of her hand.
"No." I said with a frown. She looked away. Despite her troubles with facial expressions, the sentiment she gave off spoke volumes. "Maybe one day, Sam." I said before I could stop myself. Bringing her blue eyes back to mine, she twitched the corners of her lips into a small smile that burned away a little more of the darkness in my soul. Before I gave in to the impulse to kiss more than her hand, I stood up and walked to the fridge. "How about some blue jello." I said with a smile thrown over my shoulder before producing one of the glasses.
She made an excited noise and reached out for the dessert with both hands with childlike glee. I could not help but laugh as I handed it to her, then sat back into my chair to watch her navigate the wobbly mass, ready to be of assistance should she need it. There was no doubt in my mind that I was hers, now and always.
Flashback to the early 2000's: Nokia 3100. Before smartphones. Google it if you are too young to remember. If you are not too young, then feel free to 'feel your age' along with me and everyone else who has been driving longer than someone they know has been alive.