AU: When an exploration mission goes way off the left field, Jack and Sam are left to patch up their lives. Will that door stay open?
Disclaimer: All recognisable characters are the property of MGM/Amazon. No copyright infringement intended. I am once again taking my favourite two Gaters for a walk in an Alternate Universe. Takes place after 5.05 Red Sky with some canon episodes skipped (overlooked) and others referenced.
Rating: Mature. No triggers this chapter. Well, except MacKenzie.
Chapter 28: I'm not crazy!
Wednesday morning - Doctor MacKenzie
"Are you ready Major?" I asked as I settled in my chair and straightened the lined note pad and pen in front of me. Truthfully, I wasn't sure if conducting an evaluation on someone without all their memories was wise, though – despite my continued offer – Janet had always insisted that she did not require hypnosis therapy to assist with her memory retrieval. I respectfully disagreed.
"Yes, Doctor." She replied stiffly while shifting in her chair, her eyes flicking around the room nervously advertising her discomfort at being here once again.
It had barely been seven weeks since the last time I saw her. Funnily enough, that involved her seeing things that weren't really there as well. The last one had been an ascended being named Orlin who took human form before re-ascending. This time, the mission reports said she was seeing another version of her commanding officer. A coincidence? I think not. Personally, I thought it was about time to retire her from the field, but Hammond wouldn't hear of it.
Deciding to start with the present, I asked, "How are you feeling?"
"Ya think?" She said suddenly, with a roll of her eyes, the context of which was lost on me.
"Excuse me, Major."
"Oh, ahh." She winced a little. "Sorry, what was the question?"
"I asked how you were feeling." I repeated, wondering what had prompted her little outburst.
She shrugged, "Good. Well, as good as I can be, you know after everything." She replied with a wave of her hand, then bit her lip. "Dad and Selmak helped with most of the injuries." She added. She was nervous, which was not unusual for most patients. For Major Carter, however, it was unusual. She was always confident, well spoken and perhaps a little rigid. It was like a part of her was missing.
"That's good." I responded with a small smile. "I'm told you have most of your memories back."
"Um, yeah, the important parts at least. Though I still forget things from time to time. Janet said that would get better, especially after Dad's visit." I nodded; it was normal for a person who suffered from a trauma like hers to have the occasional short-term memory lapse. That did not concern me.
"I see. How about sleeping and eating?"
She winced again, "Sleeping is OK. In fact, I sleep a lot. Eating is fine as well." She replied uneasily. She was likely unaware that both Doctors Warner and Fraiser informed me that whilst her sleeping was satisfactory, if a little excessive despite a few nightmares, her eating on the other hand had been spasmodic with many of her favourite foods now no longer tolerable. Whilst I had never heard of that being a symptom of her particular injury, I supposed it could be possible.
"How about the hallucinations?"
She tilted her head and scowled. "What hallucinations?" Her eyes narrowing to slits.
Flipping open the report from Doctor Jackson, I skimmed down the page. "Ah yes, here it is. 'The manifestation of Colonel O'Neill fixated on Major Carter. Though I could not always see the manifestation, Major Carter's behaviour suggested that she could.' Is this report inaccurate?" I asked after reading an excerpt from the pages in front of me, then looked at her.
"Um… well, he's…"
"He?" I queried, noting that all of her team mates referred to the manifestation as an 'it'. Her use of 'he' suggested she had given it more substance than the others had.
"It… it's still…" She began before swivelling her head to her left, "…stop it! I told you - not here!"
Raising my eyebrows, I followed the line of her eyes, but saw nothing. "Major? Stop what? Who is not supposed to be here?." I asked, making a note of her twitching body language, rigidly straight back, nervousness, lip biting and hands wringing in her lap.
"Oh, sorry Doctor. I don't know why I said that. No one, nothing." She tried to recover. Interesting. As far as I was aware the being SG-1 encountered had not returned through the Gate, however that looked a lot like she was talking to someone or something else.
"Go on." I motioned. She looked at me as if my request were strange, but her eyes kept drifting to the wall. She caught herself and focused back on me. Making a note of her distracted behaviour, I urged her to continue. "Tell me about the visit from your father."
"Oh yeah, ah… well. He healed the worst of my injuries. I really am feeling much better. Janet let me go back to my quarters." She explained, her focus wandered again. Looking at the wall, and back to her when I saw nothing, I wrote down 'seeing imaginary beings' and beside it 'schizophrenic symptom?' on my note pad.
"Yes. Though I believe that was after an unfortunate incident in your room." I did not elaborate on the depth of knowledge I had on the sheer destruction of her room or that it was Warner who had told me. He had been trying to convince Janet to refer her to me for the better part of two weeks. It was only after the room destruction that she relented.
She breathed out and smiled shyly. "Yeah." She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear while the fingers of her other hand were curved and scratching into her thigh.
"Why do you think you reacted in such a way?" It was important to discuss the reasons or triggers for her behaviour and then come up with strategies for dealing with them that would not inflict damage to property or other people.
"It really was very silly. The Colonel suddenly stopped visiting, and that made me angry." She replied. "SG-1 are such a close team, to just not see one of them… well, it just doesn't happen."
Flipping open my notebook to the spot where I recorded notes from Doctor Fraiser, "He hasn't been to see you in over a week. Since your first nightmare." I said, then closed the book and looked over my glass's frames.
"No." She replied with eyes cast down.
"Why did yo…"
"I needed him!" She suddenly yelled, coming to her feet. She was focused on the wall to my right.
"Major?"
"You? You are not him. You look like him and sound like him, but you're not…" She cried. "You're not." She repeated, then slumped back into her chair, her head in her hands.
"Major Carter?"
"WHAT!" She snapped back in my direction.
"Who are you talking to?" I asked, knowing it was not me because the context of her words made no sense. It was like she was finishing a conversation from earlier with someone else.
She looked at me with exasperation, before realising where she was. "No one." She replied, then looked to the wall again, "Nothing, I don't…" She faltered and swallowed, closing her eyes. "Stop. Please! Stop… She will be fine, they will all be fine!" She insisted, bringing her hands up to her ears to block whatever it was out. "How are you here anyway? You faded; I saw you! I felt you in here!" She yelled pointing to her head.
Observing her silently, I wrote down everything I was witnessing even when she stopped talking, her attention was still not on me. The conversation had not stopped, it had just become silent. Significant looks passed between her and whoever was in the room that I could not see. She was agitated and what words that did leave her mouth were muttered and had a frantic air.
"What do you mean I recharged you?" She suddenly spoke out loud as if I were not here. "What protein? Surely Jack can recharge her the same way." She insisted, letting her CO's given name slip out as if it were natural for her to call him that. As the this recharging, I was sure what she - they? - were talking about. The only protein I knew about was Major Carter's naquadah and whatever Colonel O'Neill had in his blood that activated that memory bank a few years ago. Whatever it was, we had not identified it.
"Oh yeah, that'll work! I'll just go tell him now, shall I?" She bit off shrilly, then stood to pace the room. In all my years of practicing psychiatry, I had never seen this level of psychosis before, and I had seen soldiers insist they were still in a foreign country fighting an enemy that no longer existed. This was different. Major Carter was talking to another person. A person I could not see about her CO and another person, a woman.
Suddenly, she turned and grabbed the air in front of her, hands curling into fists as if she were manhandling someone slightly taller than her. "You said she would be OK with Jack! You said she had longer on her clock than you. If she fades, I'll never... Dammit Jack!" She mentioned and cursed her CO simultaneously. Now this was interesting. It appeared that she was talking to this manifestation of her commanding officer about her commanding officer. Or at least she thought she was. Along with her flagging diet, changed sleeping patterns, and increased emotional distress, talking to imaginary friends was a classic schizophrenic symptom, a condition which had been known to be caused by extreme head trauma before.
"Major." I stood to get her attention. She looked at me and dropped her hands, then went white. Her breathing elevated and sweat broke out across her forehead.
"Doctor. Umm… holy hannah! It's not what it looks like. I swear." She passed her hand over her face. "This is going to sound weird and an awful lot like I'm crazy, but Jack is here. Not Jack, the other Jack."
"If he is here, perhaps he would be so kind as to reveal himself to me." I asked looking in roughly the same direction as I had seen her look moments ago. I knew from the other reports that all three other members of SG-1 had seen the manifestation whilst on the planet. But no one had reported as seeing it since their return.
"He can't. He doesn't have enough strength left, not with Jack being off world." She replied defensively, her words sounding very much like a standard response for those with her infliction to explain why others could not see their delusions. "He says they are in danger. That they need me. I have to go." She said quickly, turning to leave my office hurriedly.
"Are you sure that is a good idea Major? You aren't exactly acting like yourself." I replied. She looked at me like I had two heads. I had no intention of passing her or allowing her off world in her current state.
"You don't understand. If I don't go, my other self will die."
"I see, and your other self is unwell?" I clarified. She nodded. "There are two of you, and one is on…" I checked the notepad in front of me, "P2X-338, with SG-1?"
"Yeah." She replied carefully, seemingly fully aware that what she was saying sounded around the bend crazy.
"I'm sorry, but I can't allow you to go anywhere but back to the infirmary. You are clearly suffering from some form of psychosis, now we can help you but only if you come with me now." I replied evenly. After the Orlin incident, I'd raised the point of her not being fit to return to active duty, but had been overridden by Doctor Fraiser, General Hammond and Colonel O'Neill. Somehow she managed to get Colonel Reynolds to vouch for her as well.
"I'm not crazy. I'm not." She bit back at me then turned and ran out the door before I could say anything else.
Picking up my phone, I called security. "Security, yes. This is Doctor MacKenzie. Please apprehend Major Carter. She has just escaped my office, I presume heading to the elevators. She is unarmed, however use extreme caution. Thank you." I said into the phone, then hung up. Picking up the phone again, I called Doctor Warner. "William. It's James. Ready a bed and a shot of Lorazepam for Major Carter. Yes, restraints are probably a good idea. I'm on my way." I told him, before hanging up and making my way out of my office and down to the infirmary. The Major needed help. It wouldn't be the first time I had used these tactics with a member of SG-1 before, and it would not be the last time.
A few minutes later, I entered the infirmary to find Doctor Warner drawing the shot while Lieutenant Fisher made up her bed, the other Lieutenant… Nicolls - I think her name was - milling around trying to persuade William that this was not necessary, that Major Carter did not need this kind of intervention.
"Lieutenant." I interrupted her tirade as William handed me the capped shot.
"Sir don't so this. Sam is not crazy." Nicolls pleaded with me. We could hear the shouting from Major Carter down the corridor. She was calling for her precious invisible Jack to help her.
"Sam? If I'm not mistaken, she is Major Carter to you." I corrected her. She scowled as the shouting got closer. If the Colonel were really here, those airmen would not be hauling his Major anywhere. The minute they touched her, O'Neill would have laid them out if she was unable to do it herself. They weren't fooling anyone with their 'very important member of my team' act.
"Jack! Jack!" Major Carter screamed as she was dragged into the infirmary. I noted it was Captain Johnson and Colonel Reynolds from SG-3 dragging her rather than the two security AF's who followed, one holding a tissue to his clearly broken nose and the other one noticeably limping. When she was brought in, her eyes flicked from me to the bed. "No. NO! JACK!" She screamed as they wrestled her over to the bed. "Help me! Jack, please! Show them." She cried. "Show them... show them... please!" She screamed while trying to stop the two men from manhandling her.
"Hold still." Johnson groused as he bear-hugged her around her shoulders, trapping her arms by her sides. In a move that no one was expecting, Major Carter dropped into a crouch heavily enough to destabilise Johnson giving her the opportunity to free herself then hip throw him as if he were a ragdoll instead of a well built US Marine easily three times her size before her fist connected with my right eye. "Ahh, dammit!" I spat taking a step backwards as Reynolds grabbed her arms and held them behind her back. He must have applied pressure to a sensitive spot because she cried out in pain. She tried to free herself again, but was unable. I could see the anger turn to fear as I approached her.
"No, please… you'll hurt her. I'll be good, I swear. I'll won't talk to him. He's gone." She pleaded over and over. Stepping up, I moved the shoulder of her scrubs and administered the injection. "No… you'll hurt her… you'll mmmmy bbb…" She garbled as the Lorazepam took hold making her almost instantly drowsy. I'd never seen it work so fast before. Once she was out, Reynolds deftly manoeuvred her with Warner grasping her ankles while Fisher assisted the two AF's and Johnson hissed unpleasantries about women in the military only being good for one thing. No wonder he was not popular, with an attitude like that. Together, Reynolds and Warner placed her carefully on the bed.
"Strap her down Nicolls." I ordered the Lieutenant who stood by my patient scowling at me.
"With all due respect, Sir. Go to hell." She hissed, then turned and walked out.
Looking at Warner, he merely shrugged and prepared the ankle straps. "Aren't you going to reprimand her?" I asked.
He shrugged. "There's no point. It's no secret that Nicolls has an issue with your methods. Doctor Fraiser is her direct superior and will not let it touch her record." He replied, an unimpressed scowl lacing his face as he tugged the ankle straps into place.
"My methods? They aren't my methods, Will." I replied as I moved the secure the Major's wrist. "Major Carter is exhibiting classic schizophrenic tendencies." I defended my decision. Not that I needed to defend my decision. So far, the only one objecting to this course of action - apart from the Major - was a nurse barely out of the Academy. By the time General Hammond returned, I would have my formal diagnosis written up and there would be nothing that they could do to stop her from being medically discharged. Despite her condition being easily managed, having her talking to invisible beings and hallucinating while on mission could mean the difference between her team coming home, or not.