AU: When an exploration mission goes way off the left field, Jack and Sam are left to patch up their lives. Will that door stay open?
Disclaimer: All recognisable characters are the property of MGM/Amazon. No copyright infringement intended. I am once again taking my favourite two Gaters for a walk in an Alternate Universe. Takes place after 5.05 Red Sky with some canon episodes skipped (overlooked) and others referenced.
Rating: Mature.
Triggers: Jack's distain for Russian's (apologies to my Russian readers for Jack's comments - it is true to the show), sexual arousal situations, foul language.
Chapter 29: Don't hold back
Wednesday morning (same time as Sam's psych eval) – P2X-338 - Jack
Talk about a shitty mission. Go to P2X-338, they said. Be nice to the Russian's. Rescue the scientists and researchers. It'll be easy. A few hours. "Yeah, fucking right!" I mumbled my curse as I kicked at a piece of rubble. The ring transporter had worked, taking us to another temple. The problem with this temple was the absence of a door, even a locked one. There was a horseshoe pattern on the wall that looked similar to the rings we knew so well, but so far Daniel had not been able to activate them. Ziggurat's instead of pyramids, horseshoes instead of rings. Why couldn't the Goa'uld just settle on one theme and stick with it? We had a few short hours to work out how get out of this place before what little oxygen was left ran out.
"What did you say Jack?" Daniel asked.
"Nuttin'" I barked, a scowl etched on my face as I returned to my rock kicking. On top of all that, my incredibly hot, exceptionally ethereal 2IC was here with me. Not with me, more like within me. Hitching a ride, she said. Something about being too far from the Stargate and needing my naquadah to sustain her so she could return home. The biggest problem with that was the images she was projecting into my mind. Images with sound effects and... other things.
Of course, I couldn't openly talk to her because it would look weird talking to myself. Much like Jacob did for those first few hours when he answered Sel'mak out loud before he learned to respond silently. When we first came through the Gate, I thought I was seeing things, because there she was in full desert camo, pack, P-90, and a broad brimmed hat wearing the biggest smile on her face. Damn she was hot. She was Major Sam Carter through and through, except no one else could see her.
At first, I wasn't bothered because we had people to find, secret Russian plots to uncover, a strange flesh-eating creature to kill, and a missing Goa'uld. We managed to do most of that, losing a few Russians in the process, a situation which did not sit well with me despite not being enthused about them tagging along. Just before we hit the controls for the ring transport, I felt Samantha's presence join with me. I didn't even know I had any naquadah in my blood, but my 2IC rarely steered me wrong, so – as always – I trusted her.
Unfortunately, around an hour after we ringed here. She got bored. That's when the images started. An hour after that, she got bored... again. That's when the whispering started. Then an hour after that... you guessed it! Bored... again. That's when the 'touching' started. The sensation of her hand moving over a certain part of my body while she showed an image of herself kneeling at my feet made me grimace. I couldn't even close my eyes to block it out. Thankfully, I was able to hold the groan back.
"Could you not do that?" I growled to myself while kicking at the rocks.
"Do what?" She responded, her hand moving again as her tongue flicked out. Goddamn woman. I huffed out a breath while clamping my eyes shut, and tried to pretend that Samantha was not filling my brain with – for lack of a better word – porn featuring the two of us. Her tongue flicked out again and made a swirling motion. This time, there was no holding back my verbal reaction. Somehow, she knew what I liked, how I liked it and the best way to make me as hard as one of the rocks I was kicking.
"Are you unwell, O'Neill?" Teal'c asked, a small smile gracing his features. The bastard.
"Just peachy." I ground out, doing my best to hide the catch in my voice at the sensation of her thumb dancing across the top. "You know what, I'm gonna check things out. Just in case one of those things is hanging around in here as well." I motioned in the direction of the crumbling corridor as sprinkles of red sand tumbled down from the roof.
"I shall accompany you O'Neill."
"No, Teal'c. I'm good. You watch Tolinev and make sure he doesn't break anything." I motioned to Daniel with his fingers in the wall playing with crystals.
"I'm right here, Jack. It's not like Sam is here to make this go faster." He grumbled.
"I know." I replied with a look of resigned acceptance on my face. If only he knew. I wished we weren't here. I wished I was on that beach Samantha kept showing me in flashes while she did... things... her in that black bikini and sun tan lotion… making out in a hammock while I… damn! Turning and walking away as fast as my feet would carry me, I cursed, "Do you have to do that?"
"Yep." She responded with a giggle. Oh hell no. It was bad enough when she giggled in real life, I couldn't have her giggles amplified in my head. I did not want to come in my pants and jacking off on a mission was so far from professional, I might as well just arrest myself for conduct unbecoming.
"You know, you could be helping us." I complained.
"I thought I was helping." She replied with a smirk that included biting her bottom lip while looking from under her eyelashes.
Minx! I thought with an audible scoff. Yeah right. Squeezing the bridge of my nose while she continued to play, I asked, "Why are you here?"
"Because you are here, and despite what you think, you need me."
"I don't need anyone. Needing and wanting aren't the same." I lied, well half lied. I did need her; I just couldn't have her. There was no point moping over the impossible.
"You're lying. Why don't you just admit that you are crazy about us and that you want to get married and have lots of sex and babies." She stated using a line I was pretty sure I had heard somewhere before. Maybe one of those girly movies we watched when Cassie came to visit.
"What? I do not." I bit back quickly. I didn't... well I did, but there was no way I was going to admit it.
"Lying." She sing-songed. "Jack and Sam sitting in a tree…"
"Oh, fer crying out loud! How old are you? Seriously!" I complained. I felt like I was talking to my youngest sister, who of course just turned… crap! She was the same age as Sam. The joys of being a part of a traditional Irish family. Lots of siblings. Not that I had spoken to any of them since the divorce. While they had been devastated and supportive over the loss of Charlie, they could not forgive me for breaking the sanctity of marriage by signing that paperwork. Closing my eyes, I leaned against the wall and tried not to listen to the disembodied voice of my 2IC taunt me about kissing and sex and babies. At least she was busying herself with something else allowing me to get my body back under control.
"That's what we want, Jack."
I scoffed, "Yeah, well shit happens. She can't have both." I responded, referring to Major Carter as the woman back on Earth and not some hybrid woman spirit thing like the voice in my head was doing. She made it sound like there were two of them and one of them all at the same time.
"What is it with you and lying? You know damn well that if she moves to the science department as Head of Science, she would be under Hammond's command, not yours." She pointed out.
"How is it that you know that, but she clearly didn't?" I asked, remembering the fight back on -755 over her moving to another position. I was surprised that she hadn't challenged me at the time.
"Oh, she does, but your little display convinced her that you were nothing but a no-good stick jockey just looking to get his jollies." She fired back with such intensity that I felt it in my toes.
"She can do better than me. I'm not worth it." I mumbled out loud this time. Maybe I'd believe it if I said the words out loud.
"For fuck's sake, Jack!" She swore, making me baulk at hearing that word out of her mouth for what I think was the first time ever. "Where do you get this self-deprecating crap from?" The image of her standing with her hands on her hips and a scowl on her face flittered through my mind. "She loves you. All of you. Every fault, every perceived failure, every scar, everything that you have experienced makes you the man she fell in love with. Everything I fell in love with."
"You're not her. You're something else."
"I am her. I am part of her. Just as the other Jack is part of you. Without us, neither of you are whole. Without me, Sam will only have the ability to treat you as her CO. No more friends, no more laughing at your jokes or smiling. Eventually she will forget how to interact with you on that level, including those silent conversations you so enjoy. She will become a closed book to you. I am the part of her that loves you, that keeps the flame alight. She's worked so hard to keep me locked away. Just like you have with the part of you that loves her. Is that really what you want?"
Swallowing hard, I ignored the sting in my eyes caused by the fine red dust - honest - while a myriad of images flashed through my mind showing me all the ways that proved how much Sam loved me starting with her silent tears and mumbled prayers to a God she didn't believe in while I lay unconscious and dying in Antarctica, the rush of feelings when I squeezed her hand while pinned to the wall by the alien ball, the feeling of pride combined with butterflies when I pinned her oak leaves on her shoulders, the jealousy she felt when I kissed her alternate, her elation on Edora and subsequent heartbreak when I turned back to Laira, her desperate pleas for me to wake up after the X-301 followed by a multitude of images with sound effects of her crying whenever I was lost, injured or dying.
The final thing she showed me was a moment under the ice on -118 where Thera was straddled across Jonah's lap while we were making out. When she needed to breathe, she pulled back and whispered, "I love you, Jack," before resuming our fever pitch. Not Jonah, but Jack. I had forgotten that. We came so close. Right up until Karlan interrupted us with the news that Brenna was looking for us. Barely fifteen minutes later, she was siring me before we walked back through the Gate.
Dammit! Why did she have to be right. Scrunching up my face, I leaned my back heavily against the wall. "I miss you." I admitted more to myself than to her. I think she knew already. Suddenly, she appeared in front of me, though a lot fainter. Almost as if she were a ghost.
I felt a whisper of her hand as it touched my face. "I miss you too, Jack. Come back to me. Please?" She asked, her image flickered much like an TV image with a shoddy signal. I knew she was talking about how I had been expertly avoiding her. Looking closely, I could see what looked like holes filled with the white snow that old TV's would show when they had no signal.
"Sam. What's wrong? You look like you're… losing signal." I tried to touch her face, but my fingers passed through leaving me with tingles similar to static electricity.
She smiled, "I have been gone from her too long. This was supposed to be a half day mission. I need the presence of naquadah to sustain me. You don't have enough to keep me going and the Gate… the Gate is too far." She flickered again. "You need to let go of the things that hold you back." She told me, and I immediately remembered what Daniel said on -755 about 'that which holds you back'. "Promise me?" She said with a catch in her voice.
"No. Don't you dare. Samantha!" I yelled as she faded, then came back a little dimmer. A little greyer, more holes, more static.
"I'm sorry Jack. I can't. I…" She faltered and stumbled. I tried to grab her, but my hands went straight through her, the static racing up my arms as they plunged through her falling body. For all my grumbling about this Sam, the thought that I would lose her - the part of her that cared about me - was too much.
"Teal'c! Teal'c!" I bellowed. The sound of combat boots running on gravel was immediate.
"O'Neill."
"I need your help. Samantha needs your help." I said desperately as I crouched by her prone form on the ground. I knew he couldn't see her, but I hoped he could sense her. She said she needed naquadah and he was the strongest carrier save Sam herself.
"O'Neill. Major Carter is not really here." He stated.
"I know, but her incorporeal version is and she's dying." I explained as I knelt, ignoring the twinge of pain in my knees. "She needs naquadah to sustain herself. I don't have enough."
Teal'c looked down at what appeared to be an empty spot in front of me before crouching. "How may I be of assistance?"
"I don't know." I replied. Getting closer, I said, "Sam, baby… Teal'c is here. He can help. But you have to do it. Please." Lifting her head slightly, I noted her eyes were a dull translucent grey rather than the blue I had become so accustomed to.
"Jack."
"Yeah."
"Don't ever call me baby, Baby." She responded with a half-smile as she reached toward Teal'c.
Chuckling with the first smile I remembered having in weeks, I responded just as she entered Teal'c, "You got it, sweet cheeks." The feeling of pure relief washing over me.
"O'Neill. Samantha informs me that the use of 'sweet cheeks' and 'baby' when referring to her will prematurely end your life." He responded in his no nonsense tone of voice.
Smiling again as we both came to our feet, "You got it." I replied, just as the sounds of rings activating got my attention.
"I found it! Jack! Teal'c!" Daniel yelled as he careened around the corner. "I found the combination for horseshoe door. We can go now."
"Great!" I replied, clapping my hands together. "Let's get Tolinev and get out of here." I said with another wave of relief. Sure, the Gate was a good five klicks from our present location, but at least we were going home. I was hoping Sam's shade would survive. Coming back into the room, I resituated my pack, then crouched beside Tolinev.
"Lieutenant. Are you OK to walk with some assistance?"
"I am, Colonel." She responded with a soft Russian twang. I liked Tolinev. She reminded me of my Major. Strong, dedicated, tough as nails. That thing had attacked her over 48 hours ago, injecting some form of poison into her system, yet she was still fighting. Prior to going down to the creature, her tactics had been pinpoint perfect. I'd have her on my team any day, which was something I never thought I would ever say about a Russian.
"Atta girl." I replied with a smile, as I wrapped her arm around my neck and lifted her along with Teal'c on the other side. "Let's go home."
"Yes, Sir." Teal'c replied, giving me a broad smile that I normally saw on Carter's face before returning to his normal expressionless countenance. Now that was creepy. Not as creepy as that time I was swapped bodies with Teal'c, but still creepy, nonetheless. Daniel ushered us to the horseshoe embedded in the wall, then inserted the final crystal in the combination before joining us in time for the transporter to envelope us similar to the circle ones, leaving us on the other side of the wall.
We managed to walk the five or so klicks to the Gate in a little over an hour and a half fully loaded, lacking proper sleep and with the injured Tolinev, a feat that I was impressed with. Yet another reason to respect the Russian Lieutenant. Watching her limp along with Teal'c reminded me of the conversation I had with Sam one team night about how the Cold War was over and that those I was fighting all those years ago were following orders just like we did everyday. Of course, my Sam had been right. She was always right. Thankfully, we had enough provisions so that we weren't hungry or thirsty. Small mercies. Just before we walked through the puddle, Lieutenant Tolinev straightened and moved away from Teal'c determined to walk through the Gate under her own power. I smiled; she was definitely like my Carter.
A/N: Extra points to those who picked the movie quote from Love Actually. Alan Rickman's character says it to Laura Linney's character about the hot graphic designer called Carl. I know this movie was Actually released in 2003, which is two years after this story is set, but I love it and that line fit in this chapter perfectly.