A/N: Who wants chicken?
Chapter 15
Pineapple Hearts
Part II
The following morning…
The landlady poured the remainder of piping hot green tea into Uzume and Minato's respective cups before setting the pot gently back onto the table. Neither of the two had gotten much sleep for obvious reasons, but here they were anyway, sitting at attention before Miya-sama and her feared ladle of doom.
Whereas it was a lack of sleep on Uzume's part for being up concocting infiltration plans with Matsu, Minato still felt the St. Anger snare that was the support beam his head clang!ed off on the way down from that skyscraper.
The memory of said event had been clonked from his skull as a result. Having realized he couldn't remember, Uzume simply said he went out with Seo and got drunk from his influence. A fitting excuse as any. Miya wouldn't have taken a liking to her going into detail on the...action that happened…
"Almost…" she whispered to herself, blushing.
"I'm amazed, Minato." the landlady said with that closed-eyed smile no one in real life ever does. "I never knew you drank. Tell me, are you of legal age to consume alcohol?"
Minato winced. "To tell you the truth Miya, I don't remember anything from last night. Just...a horizon, my stomach jumping...and a warm feeling."
*hiccup* "That's what it's always like at first, kiddo."
"Oh, hey Kazehana."
Kazehana walked past the two and out into the backyard's deck. She stretched her arms then howled a big yawn followed by taking a swig of her sake. "What a beautiful morning."
"Kazehana's right, Minato." Uzume affirmed dishonestly. "We all went out with Seo and got drunk. You downed 4 shots and cracked your noggin off a pool table after losing your balance attempting a bankshot…"
"Well if you say so."
Uzume sighed, feeling a bullet had been dodged.
Miya bowed her head, then gave the ronin an earnest look. "Now I won't encourage you to drink when you aren't of age...however, please do try to be more careful next time. Now that you know your limits, put your knowledge of them to use."
"I'll be sure to. It won't happen again. I promise."
"I know it won't, because if you're ever that wasted again you'll need to find yourself a hotel for the night." The mask appeared. "Understood?"
"Y-yes Miya. Understood."
"Good." she exhales. "You should open up a lot more in these sorts of settings. You're a wild young man after all. Just be responsible enough to not become an filthy animal like Seo."
Uzume began to blush at the utterance of the words 'wild' and 'Minato' in the same sentence remembering what almost happened the other night. 'Filthy' didn't sound all that bad either. She was so lost in her fantasy she couldn't hope to see the landlady's ladle crash down on her dome-piece.
"No inappropriate thoughts!"
XXXXXX
Atop the roof, Tsukiumi lays taking in her morning rays. Her eyes open feeling Kazehana's shadow creep over her.
"What does thee want? Canst thou see I art sunbathing? Begone. Or t'least out of the light."
"Say didn't you promise Minato to be more laid back from now on? And I don't just mean on this roof for the sun."
"I am layething back! Minato is free to do as he pleases with whomever!" she shouted defensively.
"That's not what I mean. If you keep acting like this hoity toity noble princess with a stick up her ass no one is going to feel comfortable approaching you. You have to learn how to bullshit."
A vein ticked in Tsukiumi's forehead. "Gah, I beg your pardon?!"
"See, this is exactly what I mean. You need to learn how to let things like that roll off your back like Uzume and I did the other night with Minato."
"Grr!" she growled. "Why you lumpish, ill-nurtured, pigeon egg! If there is a point thou art trying to make then makest it!"
"Easy now. Let the blood pressure settle. Here, have a swig." she hands her sake bottle over to her by the neck.
Tsukiumi looks at it reluctantly but swipes it to grasp and downs a mouthful.
"Feel better." *hic*
She exhales a mushroom and hums. "A tad."
"Want to try being a bit different today? I'll be gone for a while, so I doubt there's going to be much fun around the house while I'm away."
"Very well. Teachest me thine art of bullshitting."
"First off, lose the noble speak."
"No."
*facepalm*
XXXXXX
Meanwhile…
With the morning chores done and out of the way, Minato takes a glance at Uzume who's still fighting back her 'wild' imagination.
"Hey Uzume…"
"EH!?"
"Would you like to...I dunno, hang out this afternoon? We still need to make up for the date the others spied on...so I figured-"
"Oh, um, sure. I mean yes! I'd love to!" she nods.
Minato smiles warmly. "Great!"
"So where do you wanna go?"
Minato's mind slammed on the breaks. "Drat, I hadn't thought of that."
The two were then drawn to the musings of Kuu and Musubi as they just hung out an gazed up at clouds...shouting loudly about what kind of shapes they resembled.
"That one looks like a bunny rabbit!" cried Kusano.
"And that one looks like a fish!" shouted Musubi.
Laughter was then shared.
Uzume smiled. "How about we hit the mall and let it all come naturally from there?"
"Hmm, sure." maybe coulda worded that better, Uzume?
...
As the two near the front gate, Tsukiumi hops down from the rooftop, her heels clicking against the stone.
"Hum? Oh hey, Tsukiumi. What's up?" Uzume asks.
"Tis nothing. So tellest me, where art thou-" her eyes pulled back to the memory of Kazehana telling her to drop the noble speak. 'Drat.' "Tis- I mean this is harder than I thought."
"What's harder than you thought?" Uzume asked.
"Tsukiumi looked back towards Uzume and gasped loudly, spooked that she had gotten closer. "
"Gah! Were didsth' did thy' you come fromest? I mean from!"
"Uh, are you ok Tsukiumi?"
"I am fine! I'll just be on my way now! Goodbye!"
She hurriedly lept several blocks away from Izumo inn, embarrassed.
"Well, that was weird." Minato thought aloud. "I wonder what got into her?"
"Beats me but" she grasped his hand and took some steps towards the gate. "Lets focus on having some fun. Kay?"
"'Kay." Minato nodded.
XXXXXX
Following a quarter-mile hike to the nearest train station, the two pay their fair and seat themselves with their backs to the still risen sun.
It was weird using public transportation now after having almost gotten used to being flailed through the sky like a windsock by Musubi to get across the city. Minato threw his head back letting the cityscape sweep past his eyes on his way to their destination. He never quite took note of it until now how it made him feel on the inside. How beautiful this city was thanks to MBI, starkly contrasting with the madness the Sekirei plan offered it. But above it all he felts his time meant something. His presence here and now appreciated by someone else. Before Musubi crashed into his life these moments felt as if he were just on autopilot. Doing a routine like a robot on a circular logic loop. Got to work to get paid to sustain yourself to go to work to get paid. It never crossed his mind to take it in. He never had reason to care really. Before now that just hoped sometime in his life something would break the cycle. And for better or worse, the Sekirei Plan did.
Uzume gave him a pat on the leg. "Enjoying the view?"
"Very much."
"Not more than talking to me, I hope."
"Oh, of course not!" He sat up.
"Easy champ, no need to get stressed out. But I think our stop is coming up soon."
XXXXXX
The train screeched as it neared its destination and its pressurized doors whooshed open not long after. Minato and Uzume joined the steady flow of people spilling out onto the deck of the station like multicolor koi fish from a plastic bag into a pond.
"The mall is only a few blocks away from here I think." Minato said looking through a map he had swiped from the station terminal.
She took the map from him and tossed it over her shoulder. "Race you there!"
He gulped as she sped off. "Haha, hey, wait up!"
For a moment time seemed to freeze as Uzume's gleeful smile and glare peered back at Minato as he tried to playfully catch up with her. Something in Uzume's heart told her this would not be the only special day she would bring him. From now, things were pushing to stay better.
Before long the two had arrived at the mall's grandiose entrance; an archway made of plexiglass garnished with chalk white marble columns and video advertisements. Most of which featured MBI propaganda and the game master's big fat oversized head on a gargantuan curved screen endorsing some overhyped product.
"Oh the memories that mug brings back." Minato uttered, face turning a boggy blue. He was met with a pat on the shoulder.
"Hey don't sweat it. He's why we're here together, after all, right?"
His face cleared. "Yeah, you're right. So what would you like to do first."
She shrugs. "Meh, lets just go in and find out I guess."
In a slight passage of time the two begin to wander this uncharted territory, trekking through a department store full of half-priced furniture and lounging on some of the laid out upholstery. Uzume caught Minato glimpsing off to the bed section all red in the face. She had an idea.
"Lets go check out the beds!" she said aloud.
"Bwah! W-wait. Uh why? I wasn't staring at them was I?"
She grumbles. "Just come on, trust me. I just want to lay on em with ya!"
Not letting Minato have a say, she grabs him by the arms and pulls him out of the chair and into the bedding area...
XXXXXX
Meanwhile at the 'Thot Topic' just outside the department store…
"Say, do you have these in my size?" The girl with a pink ponytail inquired to the clerk.
"Hmm, just one second I'll need to check."
"Hmhm, don't bother. She's better off shopping for teacups than cups for boob size."
"Shut the fuck up!" she turned to the clerk who was giggling and desperately trying to hold it back. "Hey, what in the hell do you think is so funny?!"
XXXXXX
So there he was, laying next to Uzume on a bed in the broad daylight coming from the sunroof above.
"So, um, what now?"
"What now? How about this?!"
Minato turns his face and gets a pillow right to the mush. The ensuing pillow fight is soon broken up by the department manager, who then politely asks the two to leave the store if they don't intend to purchase anything.
Before long they come to the atrium, the hub of which all other sections of the mall branched off from. They linger for a bit, taking a breather by a rail overlooking a man made tropical lake.
"I have an idea of what we can do." Uzume says off key.
"Oh, and what's that?"
She pulls out her phone from her purse and holds it to her face with a smile. "Lets take some selfies!"
"Alright!"
"Here we go!" She positions the camera at a good angle so the setting gets in the picture well along with them. "Smile, Minato!"
*snap*
"Hey, that one came out good!"
"Yeah, let's take more!"
*snap*
"Make a silly face, Minato!" Uzume prompts as she leans forward pulling down an eyelid and sticking her tongue out.
"You got it!"
*snap*
"I'll make a duck face for this one!"
"Ok me to!"
*snap*
"I have an idea," Uzume says with a light bulb blinking over her head. "let's go to the different clothing shops and take selfies wearing the gear they have without paying for any of it!"
And so began the serial try before you buy drive by massacre that was Uzume and Minato.
First came the 80s gear.
*snap*
Then came the 90s gear.
*snap*
Goth
*snap*
Hippie
*snap
Kawaii
*snap*
Thug Life
*snap*
Beach
*snap*
...and finally they came to the Gyaru shop.
Minato sat there on the mirror-backed bench, nails digging into his jeans nervously as he waited for Uzume to emerge from behind the curtain. Although he wouldn't admit it, he had a bit of a thing for the gyaru style.
"Get ready, Minatooo~ Here I come~~!"
As the curtain whisked open he gulped down a lump so big it pinched his throat. He put his head down briefly as he choked on the air, trying to play it off as a simple cough.
He looked up to see her face tanned over in makeup and contrasting pink lipstick, her holding up a two finger peace sign to her face along with a wink and sexy grin. "Say hello to gyarUzume!~~"
'g-gyarUzume?!' Minato felt his heart race and pants tighten.
She leant forward, planting her fists at her extremely short jean shorts which had been adorned with a winking pink skull belt buckle. Leaning even slightly forward showed off some camel toe.
"Soo~ How do I look?~~" she said in a teasing, stereotypical valley girlish voice. She pulled it off quite well.
He hesitated for a moment, trying to both keep his blood pressure under control and making mental note of her furry caramel colored leg warmers. "Um...pink."
Oh and her hair was pink now too.
With her matching fake caramel-colored long nails she pulled the wig off and her voice went back to normal. "Yeah, I'm still trying to decide which makes me look more like a slut-er I mean rebel!" This pink one with the curls or the blonde one with long pigtails?" Then gyarUzume emerged again. "What do you think, Mina-tan~"
"Oh the blonde one definitely." Minato said hurriedly, still processing his fetish and all. 'Oh crap! Did I just indirectly called Uzume a-'
"Well that settles it, the blonde one it is! Now scooch over. Its selfie time!"
"Wait Uzume, what are you- unghf."
Minato was now deeply tucked in Uzume's mammary valley, which was of course covered by a button-up yellow shirt that was at least three sizes too small for her.
She held the phone out in front of her and on the count of three made the goofiest ahegao expression she could muster all the while saying 'pervert!' in place of 'cheese!'.
…
Mall food court
Uzume stretched her limbs out after picking off the last bit of food on her plate and downing it. She sank to her seat all relaxed. "Ahhhh that really hit the spot."
"Haha, sure did." Minato said nervously.
She wound up giving in and buying all those outfits she wore for her collection back at the inn. She said it was for memory's sake, but Minato felt it was just her justifying her spree-shopping addiction. At least 400,000 yen worth of clothes surrounded the table the two sat at, not counting the Gyaru one of course. That she still had on...and people around were whispering to each other about it.
Minato didn't know how to feel about that, but Uzume-er gyarUzume seemed cool with it.
"Yeah keep talking under your breath. You wish you had this."
The whispering couple's mouths hanged open in silence for a moment before they turned away in a huff.
gyarUzume slouched back in her chair and crossed one fur-covered leg over the other. "You know, Minato I hear the gym here has tanning beds."
"For real?"
"Yeah, and you can use them for free if you're a premium member. Memberships start at 15,000 yen a month or 10,000 if you get the one year contract plan."
"You thinking I should get a membership?"
"I think it's worth checking out for both of us." She sprung up from her chair and stretched her arms high. A button popped out of her button up shirt as she did so. "You know you want to see me with sexy tan lines." She stretched more and another button zoomed into some poor sap's chicken teriyaki. He still ate it.
"Ughn that's the good stuff." She said as her joints let out a satisfying 'pop'. "If you get one now you can bring a friend along with you for free too. Wanna check it out?"
Minato smiled at the thought. "Sure, let's give it a shot! But first, maybe you should change."
"Nah I'm good the way I am."
Minato let out a displeased chuckle. "Eheh, okay…"
XXX
"Yes, I would like to purchase the one year plan, miss." Minato said as he handed over his credit card information and identification to the woman at the gymnasium's front desk.
"Okay, lemme just run your information through the system real quick... aaaand you're in! Is there anything else I can do for you, Mr. Sahashi?"
"I have a friend with me. Is it alright if she accompanies me?"
"Of course it is! Oh, and that reminds me."
The woman disappears beneath the desk for a second, bringing up two shirts with her donning the gym's MBI logo. "Your complimentary gift!"
"Oh, thank you very much."
"Anytime. Have yourselves a good workout!"
"What do you think we should do first, Uzume?"
"I was thinking I could hit the treadmill and curl some freeweights to burn off some of these calories then get a brief tan right after. How 'bout you?"
"Sounds good to me. Let's do a bit of jogging together."
Uzume flashed a grin. "Kay!"
To say Uzume's body was in top physical shape would be an understatement. Minato tried his best to keep up but his quads flared up too much to ever hope of compete with her. He took a nasty spill as the treadmill pulled his legs right out from under him at conveniently the time gyarUzume's button shirt burst open with all the boob bouncing the jogging caused (which caused a lot of other people on the treadmills to fall flat on their faces at the same time). Uzume, with one hand covering her exposed breasts, offered a the other to help him up and he humbly took it.
After she put a damn shirt on they then hit the weights. He did better at this but not by much. Following some curling exercises Uzume coaxed him into going for the longbar. He needed her spotting him the whole way as he tackled it even without any weight added. He looked pathetic, felt pathetic in comparison to the drooling gymbro culture he was now surrounded by. So many people so much stronger and deserving of her than he was. But she was there helping him through it. All that mattered was them.
"Come on Minato, just one more."
He groaned loudly as he pushed up his tenth rep with the bar.
"And ten!" He gasped, letting it fall back to the support.
Uzume clapped and jumped all giddy. "See I told ya you could do it, Minato!"
He rubbed the sweat from his brow and looked away with a blush. "Thank you for that. I really mean it."
"You got it, champ. Now let's hit those tanning beds!"
Minato's mind wandered to gyaru fantasy land. Not that Uzume wasn't already perfect as she was, but it's not like a tan wouldn't be off putting on a girl as developed as her…
XXXXXX
Later that evening…
Kazehana looked at the fake ID Matsu manufactured in her palm as she stood just outside Higa's hospital.
"Well, let's get this over with." She takes a last swig of her sake bottle before throwing it in a recycling bin. A security cam follows on its swivel as she approaches the emergency entrance.
"That should make it look convincing to anyone that might be watching." she thought. "It'll only be for a few days though so I'll manage! Till we meet again old friend!" She waved to the trashed bottle as if it were going on a voyage across the ocean and she'd never see it again.
The door swished open as Kazhana neared. A middle aged woman stationed at a desk on the opposite side of a glass window is reading a newspaper seemingly unaware or uncaring to her presence.
Kazehana taps on the glass to get the woman's attention and she gets a stern look. The woman sighs and slides the window open.
"Can I help you?"
"Yeah, I'm an alcoholic looking to go to detox. I had a bit of a relapse and need help bad."
"Mhmm. Ok sweetheart. May I have some form of identification?" she says with scrutinizing eyes.
"Yes." Kazehana slides her the fake ID.
After eyeing it for a second, the woman puts it through a scanner and a hospital bracelet is spat out of a machine not long after. She hands Kazehana the ID back and wraps the bracelet around her wrist.
"Here. Now go and sit yourself in the waiting room and someone will be with you shortly." She slides the window shut and starts reading the paper again.
'Man, that grandma is a total bitch.' she thought entering the waiting room which was full of patients waiting to be admitted.
Soon ten minutes go by.
Then thirty.
Then an hour.
Then two hours.
Finally half past the third hour someone calls out her false name.
"Misumi Akemi?"
Kazehana stands from her seat and walks over. "That's me."
"Follow me."
She follows the nurse through the emergency unit which seemed to snake all the way around in all directions. Each corridor was filled with groans and grunts of patients who were in severe pain and distress. It made her feel bad that she was there when she didn't need to be. That her spot could be reserved for someone actually in need. Because it's not like a woman serenading a goodbye song to a bottle of booze needs help or anything.
Before long they came to a desk and chair and she was prompted by the nurse to have a seat.
"Now lets see, you've checked yourself in to get detox, is that correct?"
"Yes." she said, thinking back hard to remember the bluff Matsu said to tell. "I've been reliant on alcohol for too long. I need to quit for my sake before I ruin my life and the lives around me."
A little overdramatic, but it seems to work.
"I see. Well it's great that you've chosen to take this monumental first step to recovery. I just need to ask you some questions and we'll get you in a bed before the night is over."
"Kinda too late for that. I was waiting out there for more than three hours."
"Aww" the nurse giggled. "I'm sorry. I promise this won't take nearly as long."
A series of standardized questions spat out by a machine came out of the young nurse's mouth like a broken record.
Following a dozen or so of them came these last two.
"When's the last time you drank?"
"A few hours ago."
"Are you currently on any medications?"
"I'm not, no."
She made a final definitive check on the clipboard. "And that's all. Let's set you up in a bed."
After traversing the groaning halls again they came to a much quieter part of the ER unit blocked off from all of it. The nurse swishes open a curtain with an open bed, and tv on the wall.
The nurse hands her some scrubs.
We just need you to take off your clothes and get into these scrubs. Have yourself a good night, Miss Akemi."
"Who?-" she stammers, almost forgetting her alias. "Oh, I mean um wait, good night? I thought I would be admitted after the questions. And what are you going to do with my clothes?"
"Your clothes will be kept in a bag in storage so don't worry no one will touch them or mess with them. By tomorrow morning you'll be speaking to a therapist who will determine which of our 5 wards you will be admitted to."
"Which ward do you feel I'll be admitted to? Can you explain them to me?" 'Gotta know as much as possible about this place and fast if we're gonna get Uzume's ashikabi out of here.'
"Oh, the psychiatric unit is divided into five sections. Our Adult 1 Program specializes in treatment for patients with episodic psychiatric issues and for those of more advanced age or physical challenges.
Our Adult 2 Program is specifically designed for patients with concomitant substance abuse and psychiatric issues and is dually licensed for both mental health and substance abuse.
Our Adult 3 Program meets the needs of individuals with a history of psychiatric hospitalizations, more chronic conditions and for those with more severe diagnoses like psychosis and schizophrenia.
Our Adult 4 Program focuses on rapid stabilization with an intensive and interactive treatment approach. This program is designed for highly motivated patients who can fully participate in a cooperative and cognitive approach to treatment and recovery.
Our Adult 5 Program specializes in treatment for patients who benefit from a structured environment while working toward behavioral goals. Assistance and direction are provided for patients who may be experiencing recurrent psychiatric issues."
"That's a lot to take in…"
"Don't worry, hun. If you're here to get better odds are the therapist will admit you to the Adult 2 unit under a 203."
"A 203?"
"It just means you're voluntarily checking yourself into the ward. It looks way better on paper for the doctors you'll be seeing as it means you'll likely be released sooner than if you you were 302'd, which is the opposite of what I just said."
"I see. Well, I best be getting undressed then. This is a lot to digest."
"Alright. I'll be at the desk if you have any more questions. Until then just kick back and relax."
XXXXXX
Matsu's room
"Is Kazehana going to be alright?" Musubi asked all worrisome. Somehow she felt things at the hospital wouldn't go entirely to plan.
"Relaaaaaax she'll be fine. Now, while we wait for the sisters to establish communications with us, watch closely, Musubi. It's about time we did a little big sister-little sister bonding of our own." Matsu said as her fingers crawled across her keyboard. A video began to load on screen.
With a curious glare, Musubi leaned further into the pearlescent blue aura of the dozen or so computer monitors before her.
It started playing, and Musubi's pupils shrunk.
"FAAAAACE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"
*SLURP* *SLURP*
"MMMMMGH...MMMMMMmmmmmMMMMMM!"
"FAAAAAAAACE FUUUUUUUCK THE FILTHY HOOKERRRRRRRRRRRR!"
"Agh!" Musubi gasped, staggering back from the shocking display of naughtiness on screen. She put her hand before her eyes peeking between her fingers whenever curiosity got the better of her. "What on earth is this, Matsu?! What is that naked sweaty man doing to her?!"
"Why, this is sex, Musubi." Matsu cackled under her breath.
Musubi unshielded her eyes and looked down at Matsu. "It is?"
"Yeah, and if you want to become real good at it, you have to watch these videos. It's something that's going to make Minato real happy!"
A/N: I have a thing for peace signs hand gestures now. Dammit, Japan.
All things considered, I like how the date turned out, or is turning out I should say. I'm not sure if it will be the main focus of the next chapter as I just started setting up Kazehana and the twin's arc and it needs fleshing out so fair warning to those who crave more gyarUzu-Minato after this installment.
The scene at the end here is based off an actual porno I heard audio of on the Howard Stern show years back. Always wanted to use the clip in some capacity. Brownie points to anyone who gets the reference.
I made a ko-fi account for donations. If anyone's interested google my username and the said website.