Catharsis
"Kaylaaa…"
The Exo ignored her name, daintily scrolling over to the next page of her book. He'd been at it for nearly half an hour. If only he got as bored with bothering her as he did everything else.
"Kaylaaaa," Erek whined again, "Please help me."
Eva took a hand away from her measuring to swat his outstretched arm. "Hush now, let the young lady read in silence."
"Thank you, Mrs. Levante," Kayla said, turning the next page and sparing Erek not even so much as a glance. He started to groan again, only to be cut off with a shush. It was boring and it was tedious but it was required. Measurements and fittings for formal wear.
The Consensus was hosting a gala. An entire night of politicians patting themselves on the back for getting absolutely nothing done all year, according to Z. And despite his efforts, he had said, that included himself. Crona's brother had to deal with nearly every motion he put forward this year, usually aimed at improving the lives of ordinary and the more downtrodden, being shot down. The whole thing was an overall waste of time and resources, he would say, and the least they could do was actually be deserving of it.
Guardians were a rare sight at these kinds of events. Aside from the Vanguard, who were Consensus members themselves, most Guardians did not bother with politics. From what was told about the Faction Wars, it was for the best.
So one could imagine how well the Vanguard received the message that was addressed to the Guardian clan that called themselves the Will of Light. An invitation for all members, personally written by Hideo, executor of the faction known as New Monarchy.
Zavala nearly cracked the tablet in half. Cayde decided that his grandmother's funeral would be on that day and Ikora Rey, the picture of control and calmness in the face of calamity, kept her voice perfectly light and neutral, all while talking about walking down the Tower and having a "talk" with the good Executor.
Five minutes. She wasn't asking much.
Kayla still wasn't sure if it was who issued the invite to them that was the problem or the invitation itself. Both, her Ghost had guessed. Executor Hideo was practically a paragon in the public eye and he remained that way, provided one never got too close to see the real him or done something to bring out the uglier aspects of his personality. The real him, Tarlowe had claimed.
Though they could always deny the offer, it was the Speaker who suggested they accept. He claimed that given the nature of their most recent victory, things like this were to have been expected. Better they adjust and learn how to navigate now than when they were in a situation they could not simply decline.
So they were to be outfitted. Kayla had gone through her own, grinned and bore it with both minimal complaint and without company with which to keep herself entertained. And then there was Erek Sov, regal former Prince of the Reef, here with the latter and still unable to manage the former and would be over and done with it all if he could stop moving for more than a few seconds at any given time.
She had her own projects to work on in the meantime. She had abandoned all other smaller scale, miscellaneous ones in favor of one broad field; Golden Age technological advancements. Particularly, Clovis Bray and the Warminds they created. It had taken several days after their return to Earth for her to fully feel the brunt of Envy's revelation. When Guardians thought about the Praxic Order, they thought about Eriana-3. She was by far the most famous Warlock among their ranks, or infamous, depending on who was being asked.
What she was known for was her staunch and steadfast dedication to the ideals of her order; that they should be less concerned with the nature of the Darkness and more focused on destroying it. It was what made her choice to join Pride such a jarring one. But what made it a terrifying one was the nature of who she was.
The amount of influence she has shown herself to have over Rasputin was staggering. With Wrath(K) dead and the Vault of Glass disabled for at least the next thousand years, Envy could easily be considered Pride's greatest weapon in his war against the Light. And if they were to stand a chance, just as Aro was to match Pride, Kayla knew she had to match Envy. So she studied, she trained, she scoured her experiences for anything, anything that could give her the ability to nullify or at the very least, mitigate their advantage.
Some time ago, she had the idea to imitate her. Exert her own will over the Warmind in the same manner Envy could. She brought it up, with Aashir and Sora first, gauge reactions before she brought the idea before Ikora.
Sora let her down gently. Aashir couldn't be gentle if one paid him to be. Eriana-3, Envy was dead, he had snapped, and is up and walking only through the power of the Darkness. Kayla was alive and regardless of the number of times she died, she could not afford to find death so trivial that she would intentionally abuse Rasputin and his power for her own gain. The Warmind protected her, through her, the rest of them and the City itself but at the end of the day, his priority was himself. Rasputin was not a creature with whom you wanted to fall out of the good graces of.
Kayla realized that she could be in the labs right now. Or the libraries. She only remained for Erek's sake as he had only agreed to attend if he had company. While she was sure he would've attended anyway, she obliged. She couldn't say that he was affected any more or any less by what they witnessed and suffered in the Vault than the rest of them. In her opinion, the only people who held that "honor" was Asura and Aro themselves. But seeing Dredgen Yor again, the Guardian who had taken everything from him had unraveled whatever progress he had made for his mental health and well being. He was relapsing and unlike every other time, he had yet to start the journey back.
What scared her was how different it was this time. Any other time it occurred, he would go quiet for days, become despondent. He'd have to be coerced from his bedroom, either with words or physical force, just for fresh air or food and he always returned as soon as he could. Nowadays, he was hiding how this all made him felt. Laughing a bit too hard, smiling with too many teeth and too little humor to match. He didn't treat her any differently or any of them at all but there was always a tension there and it could be seen if anyone paid close enough attention.
As of late, most of the Hunter's time had been spent inside the Crucible. On occasion, both Kayla and Daniel would join him. Other times, just Daniel and when Erek couldn't drag him into the arena, he'd get one of the others to come with him. Asking Aashir on several occasions too spine. Actually browbeating the surly, overly serious Exo into saying yes was something else entirely. Shaxx had himself a field day.
It worried some of them, that he was using the Crucible as an outlet. There was stress relief and then taking his aggression and sadness out on other Guardians by making them hurt just as much as he was. She had mentioned her concerns to Shaxx, claimed that Erek was a bit more obsessed with the fighting and killing aspect of his Crucible than the actually honing of skills. Shaxx called it nonsense, said no one was more obsessed with the Crucible than he was. He later promised to keep a closer eye on Erek on the condition that she get in the arena and show the rookies what a real Nova Bomb looked like.
"Traveler, you're worse than Aro." Erek drooped next to her on the bench, jostling Kayla out of her own head and forcing her to make room for him. She hadn't even noticed when Eva finished and started packing her things. "You seen Danny boy all day or is he still moping about?"
"Oh?" Eva called out from behind them, "Is something wrong with Daniel?"
"Aro left the City yesterday morning and didn't say anything to anybody, including him. No one's seen or heard from him since the day before."
A disapproving click of the tongue. "That wasn't a good thing to do. Did he really believe no one would worry?"
"Well, everything is fine," said Kayla, slipping the tablet back into her own bag, "Aro got back early this morning and Asura told me he's gone to see Daniel." She closed the bag and slipped it over her shoulder, "Could explain why no one's seen either of them all day."
"Ew."
"'Ew' what, dear?" Eva asked, "Could you explain?"
Kayla indeed had places to be. As well as time that could or should be spent on other, more important endeavors. But at that moment, she would stand there for the rest of her days if it meant she got to watch Erek stutter and avoid giving an explanation of why he found Aro and Daniel's disappearance so disgusting to an already knowing Eva Levante. The merciful woman that she was, she only let him sweat under her gaze for a minute before commanding him affectionately to "keep his mind out of the gutter."
"Yes, ma'am. Sorry, ma'am."
Kayla closed her eyes and leaned against the door of the lab as soon as it closed behind her. Sixx appeared before her. "So many things to do, too few hours in the day to do it."
She laughed. "Trust me, Sixx, if I could get away with spending all day and night in here, I would."
"Oh, I know. But you won't cause the last time you did, Ikora locked you out until you took a week's break."
"So I remember." She pushed off the door and turned her thoughts towards work. "Why were we saved, Sixx? Me and Eriana. Do you think about that?"
"Almost as much as you do, Kayla."
"I still remember that message he sent me," she continued, "'Save the last two.' Transfer the Kenyan Warmind, Nia and the North American Warmind, Gloria into Exo bodies to protect them from the Collapse."
Her Ghost sniffed. "'North American Warmind, Gloria'. How American, if the history books are to be believed."
"And the fact that not just one of us but both of us turned out to be Lightbearers." She shook her head. "Light is paracausal, outside the confines of cause and effect. That's the day one lecture for every Warlock, Sixx. It is, by that nature, impossible to predict. Even for the Vex."
"Rasputin scares the Vex," Sixx said, "The smattering of reports we've gotten about their interactions on Mars have shown that. But if they can't predict the Light, there's no way he could either."
"A lot of things lead back to Mars. I've been noticing that. It's like a planet-sized piece of the puzzle that we somehow keep missing." She made her way to the side of the room. "Whenever I think of Mars or focus on it, I feel...cold. Like someone just knocked down the temperature control for the room and then broke the keypad." Just thinking about it had her shaking her arms out, as if trying to keep her joints loose and unstuck. Cold, ice and Mars. The Hellas Basin in Mars' southern hemisphere fit the bill. But that ice was old and went downwards for miles. Unless the miraculous occurred, she'd never find answers there.
What she was doing now was a different matter. From a cabinet on the walls, she found what she was looking for and immediately sat herself down at one of the tables. If what she was planning worked the same way it did the last time she managed it, she would want to be sitting down. She regarded the thing for a few more seconds before ordering her Ghost to begin recording.
She spoke loud and clear. "Before me is a Vex mind core belonging to one of the subtypes inhabiting the Ishtar Sink, Venus; the Hezen Corrective, destroyed and retrieved by the Hunter, Katrina and her fireteam, Titan Jessie and Warlock Sora. The Hezen Corrective held Sekrion, the Nexus Mind, formerly in charge of the conversion of Venus until its destruction at the hands of the Warlock Aashir and his fireteam, the Hunter and Titan, Aveline Torres and Josef Torres."
She omitted that the mind core had been taken. By Envy, no less. Her very first appearance.
"During our incursion into the Vault of Glass, two members of our fireteam, Titan Daniel Suros and Warlock Arochukwu, fell into an opened Vex gate. One which promptly shut behind them. In an admittedly desperate maneuver to save them, I...managed to interface with the Vex machinery."
Kayla took a moment to collect her thoughts before continuing. "The attempt, though successful, was jarring. To this day, I cannot adequately explain what I had seen nor have I made a second attempt. I will do so today."
She picked up the core, slightly bigger than the size of her fist; beaten bronze shining in the bright light above her head. She was fully aware of the many ways this would go wrong. She had heard the stories. But if this was a way to give them a leg up, she owed it to her team, to her City to take the risk.
She turned to her Ghost and nodded. "Do it."
A beam of light shot out from Sixx's eye into the mind core. Kayla closed her eyes and waited, wondering what it would feel like this time. She was expecting a jolt, as if she had been killed and revived, only inside the core. Maybe there would be pain. At the same time, there could be nothing. She'd open her eyes and just be somewhere else entirely, just like last time. She preferred some kind of indication but it was not as if she'd get a say in the matter. So instead, she focused. On the sound of Sixx whirring around and working, sometimes feeling him just slightly brush her hands, still wrapped around the core. The buzz of the overhead lights, the low hum of the fans, the air rushing out from them, on anything but herself.
"Kayla? You here?"
She opened her eyes, quickly taking in the room around her. "I'm still here."
Sixx hummed. "Let me try something else." He started again. She watched him this time, despite not having even the faintest understanding of what he was doing and when he gave the indication, she closed her eyes and focused again. On herself this time, instead of her surroundings, feeling maybe it was her distraction that led to the failure. It wasn't because it failed again. As did the third, fourth, fifth attempts and onwards.
Sixx sighed, "Nothing's-"
"Happening," Kayla let the core clatter to the table and fell back in her chair. "This was what I was afraid of. We have made several attempts-"
"Twelve, to be precise."
"To interface with the Vex mind core and every single time, the attempt has failed." She picked up the core again, "The mind core may require proximity to the network, most likely through a still operational Vex to be of any use. Interfacing with an operational Vex unit carries with it both the potential for success and an extreme amount of risk." She sighed, "Risk...that I'm not sure I'm prepared to take."
She stood and moved to return the core. "I will consult Ikora on the matter. As well as Sora and Aashir, if deemed necessary. Until then, I will make no further attempts. End recording." She locked the core away and returned for her bag.
Sixx watched as his Guardian gathered the rest of her things, her rough movements showing the frustration she felt in her head. He followed closely as she shut off the lights and when they left the lab behind them, he archived the recording.
Erek threw himself forward, off his feet and into a roll that landed him behind a short stone pillar and out of the path of an incoming missile. He could see the red crawling up on his radar, hear the heavy booted footsteps, the sound of a launcher being reloaded. The Hunter folded his Light both around himself and outwards. Then just as he heard the Titan lift up off the ground, he moved.
The enemy Titan aimed down at Erek's hiding spot, only to find nothing. Invisibility was an advantage, a good one but not a perfect one. A well experienced Guardian could notice the movement. Shifts in their vision that were both very subtle and very unnatural. The Titan noticed it. He twisted and fired at the clear silhouette of Erek at point blank range. Erek could feel the searing heat of it as it flew past, feel the shaking under his feet when it crashed into the wall behind them.
Noticing and even reacting were not the same as stopping. Launcher emptied, the Titan would instinctively start fumbling for another weapon, pulling out a hand cannon and taking aim only to find Erek's knife lodged deep between his ribs before his finger could fully press down the trigger.
Erek had no interest in watching him bleed. He yanked the knife out and swung it upwards, a short blade of sharp Arc lightning extending from the tip. The lightning left no remains and before the smoke had even cleared, Erek's mind had already moved onto the next potential target.
Without warning, Erek dropped backwards. The sniper bullet tore into the stone wall, where his head had been not even a breath before. He had just barely seen the glare reflecting off the weapon's scope in time. He scrambled back towards the pillar, practically crawling on his belly to avoid raising his head above cover.
A whistle came through his comms, both impressed and amused. "You gotta teach me how to move like that, Erek. I'll pay you."
Mira. Probably one of the last Guardians in the system he wanted to end up on the wrong side of. It had been expected though, given how many matches he's been through in that day alone.
But for the Traveler's sake, he had hoped to win this one.
"So, word on the street is this is your twelfth match today." Tone light and overly casual, mocking the fact that he had nowhere he could go that wouldn't give her the perfect sightline for his head and more so, that he knew it and was just prolonging the inevitable.
"Since when did you start sniping? Thought you preferred to get up close and personal," he asked, keeping an eye on his radar on the very likely chance she'd grow frustrated and simply come down from her perch to take him out with her own hands.
"Practicing. Iron Banner coming up and my team qualifies." An edge was already beginning to develop in her voice. Erek honestly had expected it to take longer. "So if you could just…stick your-"
"No."
Another shot ricocheted off the wall, probably fired in annoyance. "You never do anything for me."
If he was being honest, he wanted to move. If only to move things along. He didn't come into the Crucible and grind through twelve matches and counting to sit in one goddamned place. Too much crap going on in his head; unpleasant, intrusive thoughts and memories. Being killed helped. Killing helped too.
Seeing Lust was what set it off. After months of being honest with himself, that was the conclusion he had come to. Lust started the flame, his brother and sister, just seeing them, was like oil on the fire. And he hasn't stopped burning since.
Ever since he found out that Dredgen Yor still lived, still walked the earth, it had just been one, long downward spiral. Fighting in here gave him some sense of control, as if he were finally beginning to crawl his way out. He's heard the concerns from his teammates, from his clan, his Ghost. But it was catharsis. Aggression and frustration worked out in a constructive manner. It wasn't like he was killing anyone. At least, anyone who couldn't walk it off.
"I need a launcher, Eren. One that can track."
"Working on it. Give me some-" his Ghost was cut off. The full red bar did not so much as crawl up on his radar as it had simply just appeared. Erek found himself with little warning and even less time to react before being slammed into from the side, hard enough to send him hurtling through the air. What little sense he retained that hadn't been knocked from his head allowed him to both right himself still in cover and realize immediately that a hit like that could have killed him but didn't.
Jessie stood where he had been knocked from, hands up. "Sorry, Erek. Had to get your attention somehow."
"I have a name. You clearly know it," he snapped, "Who the hell else is in here? Shino?"
"He will be if I someone doesn't stick out their head soon," Mira chirped over comms. A threat if they had ever heard one.
"Katrina then?"
"No, because she stopped fighting six matches ago," Jessie answered, "She's off somewhere in the Cosmodrome, taking a break. What you need to do."
Erek pulled out a gun and started firing. He got in two good hits before the Titan made it behind cover. "Thanks for the concern but I'll do what I want."
"So I've noticed." He reloaded, listening to her voice even out as her Ghost healed her. He approached slowly but only stopped at the edge of the wall he had been thrown behind. Intervention on his behalf or not, Mira was an opportunist.
So he gave her one. Erek broke into a hard sprint, back out into the light, launcher sights aimed down. The half-second he received the indication of target lock, he fired. A curse and then an explosion, followed by silence before Jessie came at him again. Just as with the Titan before, he struck out with his knife. Unlike before, he found no purchase but instead, Void Light covering the Exo's body like a second layer of armor and a fist nearly the size of his head drawing back.
He Blinked to the side, lunged back in and once again found his attack halted. It was all back and forth after that. Attempting a strike, finding it halted and then immediately moving away to avoid the devastating return strike. Fast as he was, walls don't need to move. That's what it felt like he was fighting, a fucking wall. A wall that was simply taking his abuse, wringing the energy out of him, letting him tire himself out until she could force him to sit down and actually talk.
A twisted part of him was glad that it wasn't working. A blow blocked only made the next one more forceful, more vicious until he had abandoned all thought of finesse or technique and just started stabbing at the woman, practically beating at her with the point of his knife, knowing that at some point, the thing was bound to snap and not caring in the slightest.
It was only a matter of time before Jessie started taking him seriously and brought her Light into the fight. He could feel the static starting to gather between them. Erek was practically seeing red by the next time he struck out for an attack. She caught one of his arms as it came in for a hit, then the other, locking the both of them down. Erek knew how vulnerable he was in this position. She could snap both his arms, drive her head forward and break his neck, even lift him over her head and throw him through the air like a ragdoll. He pulled back, feeling her lock on his arms tighten in response. Then he brought his feet up in between them and kicked her chest as hard as he could manage.
She released him, more out of surprise than any pain or force. He hit the ground and flipped himself back upright. As soon as his feet hit the ground, his body erupted in flames, the bulk of it gathering in his hand, taking shape and solidifying. The first shot smashed against a hastily raised Ward of Dawn. The second visibly rattled the Void wall. Erek charged forward and passed through the shield. Jessie jumped away, just barely managing to make it out of the Ward of Dawn before he let loose the third shot. Her proximity to the collapse sent her sprawling backward. Erek jumped into the air and jumped a second time until the Exo Titan was underneath him. The world seemed to slow down. His arm brought the Golden Gun downwards, level with her head. The red of his vision was blinding at this point, eyes on no one but his target and focus turned towards nothing but seeing her burn.
A gleam in the darkened corner of his vision. Distracting but all too familiar. Enough to have him twisting away from Jessie in midair, turning his Golden Gun on the source, the world still moving way too slow.
Erek heard a voice, then the crack of a rifle and in that same instant, both were gone.
Erek's body jolted, flying upright. His arms lashed out and caught onto something small and hard, earning an indignant yell. As his breathing evened out and his vision returned, he found three figures over him. His Ghost, eye roving over his body, ensuring everything had been restarted correctly. Jessie, kneeling beside him, helmet off and concern all over her frame. Then there was Mira, sniper rifle resting on her shoulder, looking down at him as one would a petulant child and repeating what she had said before he was killed by the bullet that drilled through his skull. "You missed."
He shook everyone off of him with a snarl and jumped to his feet. "Eren, where is the next match?" He already knew he had lost this one.
"You've done enough, Erek," Mira spoke again, "Head back to Earth."
"Eren…"
Jessie sighed, "Eren, please don't."
"Eren!" The Ghost jolted at sudden sharpness in his voice. He grimaced and forced himself to soften. "The next match…"
She looked between the other two before turning back to Erek. "Venus. Starting soon." Another growl escaped his throat. The fact that it was on Venus should have been enough to put him off, force him to heed Mira's words and return to the City.
But fuck. Fuck. He was still angry. He was still burning. "Start the ship. Set the coordinates," he ordered, tone of voice low but making it painfully clear he would not hear anything more.
Besides, all the complaints and concerns remained unfounded, at least in his eyes. This was catharsis. Nothing more.