Jonathon waited as long as time would allow. Shawn's 9:30 appointment meant he couldn't continue the much-needed sleep his body was finally letting him have.
He shook the kid awake with some trouble, but finally got verbal confirmation that he'd dragged him back to consciousness.
"No, c'mon. Seriously?" Shawn slurred.
"Sorry, Hunter. We gotta leave. Your appointment."
"You're a dick." It was barely a mutter and he didn't catch it at first, but by the time he'd made it to the door, it clicked.
Jonathon felt like a dick, so he let it slide. Smirking, he tossed a sweatshirt from the floor at him and it landed over his face. "Move it, Hunter." He called and left him to it.
The waiting room was filled to capacity by the time they'd arrived and they had to wait leaning against a wall for seats to empty.
Jonathon wasn't a germaphobe. He wasn't particularly neat either. But there was something about being crammed into a space packed from wall to wall with kids donning pale faces and glassy eyes, casts, and pathetic demeanors that made him hyperaware of the potential viruses and bacteria circulating in the air, clinging to his skin, and invading his lungs.
Jonathon was learning that when it comes to kids, they must be sick if you can get them to go see a doctor. If most kids were like Shawn – though he knew this was probably not the case -, then it takes something pretty serious to get them to admit something is wrong. Anyone would be willing to bet that each one of those kids was facing some pretty unfortunate circumstances. He just wished he couldn't say almost certainly that Shawn's were the most unfortunate.
When a seat opened up in front of them, Jonathon ushered Shawn over to it before someone else took it. Shawn insisted he could stand too but didn't take much convincing before he relented and sat down.
Jonathon leaned forward and rested his hand on the back of the chair. He didn't have to look at Shawn to know how nervous he was, but he watched him anyway. He was sitting on the edge of his chair, his back as straight as a pin, and his eyes cast low. Any other time Shawn managed to sit so far back with his legs extended in front of him like he'd found a way to transform the chair into a recliner. But here in this claustrophobic office, Shawn was trying to take up the least amount of space possible.
He couldn't have looked smaller even though he was trying.
The kid looked sick. Under the fluorescent lighting of the pediatric waiting room, he felt ashamed of himself for how poorly Shawn was looking. Why didn't I tell him to run a comb through his hair? Or take him to get a cut? And while Shawn liked his clothes baggy as seemed to be the style, he felt a pang of guilt seeing as how he was swimming in them. He ate breakfast, right? And yesterday?
"You unplugged the iron, right?" Jonathon asked, wincing a little as Shawn turned his face toward the light to meet his gaze. His eyes were framed with deep, dark shadows and the remaining bruising on his jaw and neck were still a mean yellow.
"Sure," Shawn muttered, looking away quickly. "Wait. What iron? I didn't iron."
Nudging him gently on the arm, Jonathon flashed a grin. "I'm surprised you know what an iron is. Do any of your clothes make it to the closet?" He joked.
Shawn smirked. "Only the ones I don't like."
Just as Shawn's shoulders seemed to relax and lower slightly, a woman in scrubs appeared next to the receptionist's desk with a clipboard in hand. "Shawn?"
Jonathon straightened, his eyes falling back to Shawn when he realized he hadn't moved from his seat.
"Come on, pal. That's us."
The kid was back to staring down the floor tiles, but he quietly stood and followed the woman into a vacant exam room at the end of the hall. Jonathon hung back, noticing Shawn had left his jacket behind and wedged it under his arm before he too followed.
"Hi, Shawn. How are you doing?" She was friendly and smiling, and for a brief moment Jonathon felt annoyed with her. The appointment was unremarkable to her and today completely ordinary. Nothing about this was ordinary. There was no reason to smile.
Still when Shawn gave his icy reply: "Terrific," Jonathon stuffed his hands in his pockets and offered her a meagre, apologetic smile.
"Okay." She continued: "My name is Shelby and I'm a nurse practitioner working here alongside Dr. Henshaw. If you want to kick your shoes off, I'm going to get your height and weight."
As Shawn complied, Jonathon felt a bit queasy.
"Five feet six inches." She said while recording it on her clipboard. "And I'll get you to step up on the scale there, Shawn."
I should've put fishing lures in his pockets to weigh him down, Jonathon thought holding his breath.
Shelby was impossible to read, but as Shawn was stepping off the scale, she made eye contact with Jonathon and told him what he wasn't sure he wanted to know. "44.3 kg."
Jonathon was doing his best to remember how to convert kilograms to pounds when she did the work for him: "Sorry. That's about 97 lbs. Almost 98."
"Thanks for that. Um – that doesn't sound like a lot. What's normal for a kid his age?"
As she answered, she was looking at Shawn and gave him a quick smile when he looked up. "I'd like to see a boy of Shawn's height around 110 to 140. But I'll let the doctor know, Shawn, and he'll talk more about what we can do for you. Maybe a couple big sandwiches to put some meat on you."
"Yeah if you can get him to eat them." Jonathon thought aloud.
Eying him, Shelby gestured toward two chairs against a wall adjacent the examination table. "Have a seat, gentlemen. I'm going to take your vitals, Shawn, so I'll just grab the machine. Excuse me." She said and stepped out of the room.
Shawn looked to Jonathon and quirked an eyebrow. "Vitals?"
"Your heartrate. Blood pressure. The cuff." He replied, cupping his hand over his bicep as a visual.
Shawn nodded. That was okay.
Shelby returned wheeling the machine in and parking it next to Shawn's chair. "Alright. I'm going to need your arm. Maybe just pull it out of your sleeve? This will only take a minute."
Instead of taking her suggestion, Shawn pulled his sweatshirt off, his t-shirt riding far enough up his back that it almost came off with it. Jonathon looked away - despite knowing the nurse hadn't - to save him some embarrassment. When he passed the sweatshirt into Jonathon's held out hand, his cheeks were flushed and his bangs were sticking to his forehead.
After getting what she needed, she asked Shawn: "Was that so bad?"
He shrugged and smiled a little, relief washing over his face. "No."
"Terrific." She winked. "I'll go get the doctor."
Eric didn't understand what people meant when they said the middle child had it hard. All Eric ever heard was "Watch out for your brother," "Set a good example," "Your little brother looks up to you." It was a lot of work being the oldest and while ordinarily that was enough to bother him, lately his issue was the fact that the middle child was getting all the attention. Cory was absolutely the centre of his parents' attention as of late and so was the kid who wasn't even one of the family.
Shawn always followed Cory around like a stray dog. Since the time Cory started school, he met Shawn and then there he always was at the door, in their house, in their bedroom. While everyone in school apparently thought Shawn was cool, Eric thought he was a little pathetic. It was just weird how much time he spent at their house eating food out of their fridge, sleeping over, imposing on family trips. While Eric understood now that there was good reason for Shawn's odd behaviour and felt bad for the hard time he always gave him, he couldn't help but wonder why he was the only one who saw that something was off.
It's not that he hated the kid. He'd known him long enough that it would just be strange not having him in his life. But from what he knew about Shawn, a kid like him tended to end up in trouble and that's what history kept proving. What bothered Eric is that he also kept bringing Cory down with him.
He remembered a time just about a year ago when Eric missed an opportunity to help Shawn come clean. He didn't seize it though. He saw it and made a call to just not get involved. It was bothering him more and more these days that he hadn't pressed Shawn and just made him come out with it like he was so close to doing already.
The parents had taken Morgan for a playdate. Dad was off work so it must have been a Sunday. They called just after four to say that they were having a good time with the parents of Morgan's classmate and they were going to stay for dinner. Eric was instructed to order a pizza for himself and "the boys" and he could probably find some cash to pay for it on his mother's dresser.
The idea of pizza didn't sound terrible to Eric since he'd just come from Chubbie's and had the worst sloppy joe anyone's ever served. He figured he could let Cory choose the toppings because anything would appeal to him at this point. So, he went out back to where Shawn and Cory were shooting hoops to relate the news about dinner.
"Cool!" Cory called as he took a shot, missed, and Shawn rebounded the ball. "Extra cheese, extra pepperoni."
"Duh," Eric smirked, watching Shawn sink several baskets before Cory could react. "Shawn, you going to try out for the junior team next year?"
Shawn passed the ball to Cory and bent forward with his hands on his knees, catching his breath. "Maybe. You gonna try out, Cor?"
Cory was about to answer when Eric interrupted him. "That depends on whether you're going to teach Cory how to play, Shawn."
"Shut up, Eric!" Cory said, shooting and finally making a basket. "Yeah!"
"I assume you're staying for pizza, Shawn?" Eric asked, knowing better than to hope Shawn would take a hint and head home.
"Sure, thanks!" He could never take a hint.
Eric supposed this exchange set him in the shitty mood he found himself in at the time he found Shawn and Cory later that night. He heard them before he could see them. Something in particular that he heard made him pause in his tracks and linger at the side of the house to listen. It was something like "I'll smoke it then."
Cory's voice came next. "How will we even light it?"
"Come on. Obviously with this."
Eric couldn't see much from where he was standing but he could only assume that Shawn had just pulled out a lighter.
"Shawn!" Though only whispering, Cory sounded frantic. "What if someone sees? My parents would kill me if they found out."
"Cor, Mr. Feeny's out of town and Eric said he was gonna make a call. No one's gonna find out. Come on. Don't you want to know what it's like?"
Though Eric had said he'd be on the phone, he didn't anticipate that Jason would get himself grounded. He had actually wandered out to the backyard to see if the guys wanted to play 21.
Eric inched closer, about as far as the house's shadow would allow before the dim glow of the streetlight could reach him and out him.
He saw Shawn clutching a now burning cigarette in his fingers and he held it out between himself and Cory.
"Are you going to try it or what?"
Cory was hesitant. "I don't know. I don't think I really want to."
Shawn went quiet but after a couple beats, he pulled the cigarette back toward him and stuck it between his lips. There was a hint of hurt in his voice when he spoke again: "Guess I'm in this alone. See ya later, Cor."
He started to turn his back. Eric couldn't just let him walk away.
"Shawn!" Eric's call was loud and surprising enough to cause Cory's shoulders to jolt and make Shawn spin back around. "What do you think you're doing?"
With the cigarette still wedged between his lips, Shawn choked on an answer. "I – I, well … nothing."
Cory found his words faster. "What? Were you there the whole time just spying?"
Eric frowned. "No! I just came outside now." He lied. "Are you two really smoking? Cor, Dad's going to kill you."
His brother's eyes widened as the panic set in. "Eric, please don't tell him! Please, I'll do whatever you want."
Though tempting, Eric ignored him. "Shawn, where'd you even get that?"
"Look, it doesn't matter, okay?" Pulling the cigarette from his mouth, he released a long puff of smoke, bent down, and stamped it out on the pavement. "There. What cigarette?"
"No, not 'what cigarette.' Your dad's going to find out, too."
He had started down the driveway but came stalking back up when he heard Eric's words.
"C'mon Eric. You're not going to tell my dad."
He sounded sure and Eric knew he was probably right, but his face looked worried.
"Well, I'm going to tell my dad and then he'll probably want to talk to your dad. What did you think was going to happen?"
Shawn looked down at the burnt-out cigarette still clenched in his fingers. "No, he won't. I mean …"
Shawn's pause probably meant he knew Eric was right. Dad had at least threatened to go to Mr. Hunter before to tell him what Shawn and Cory had been up to. He knew he'd done it at least once before.
Cory also looked worried. "Eric, please. Just name what you want. We'll do anything. Please, don't tell anyone!"
"Yeah, man. Just we'll do whatever, okay?"
Eric didn't want to let them get away with it. More than that, he was thrown off by Shawn's new stunt. He'd never seemed to be the type to do something like this. He wasn't sure of his plan, but he had until the parents returned home to decide. Until then, he could make them sweat.
"I don't think so. I mean, what's gotten into you guys?"
Shawn was clenching his fists at his sides. The cigarette was inside one of them and the recently lit end must have been hot against his skin. He continued clenching and unclenching his hands and for a second Eric wondered whether he was going to try and hit him. Instead what happened next surprised him more than a blow to the cheek would've. Shawn started to cry.
Despite that it had gotten dark with the sun now almost completely set, he could tell that Shawn's eyes were burning red and tears crowded the edges of his eyelids.
"Please!" His voice sounded strange. Gone was the usual boldness and indifference in his tone. "I'll do anything, okay?"
"Yeah, Eric. Just think about it. Wouldn't you rather us just owe you a huge favour?"
Cory wasn't nearly as upset as Shawn. Though Cory seemed worried, Shawn's behaviour made him seem composed.
"No, Cor. This is serious. You guys shouldn't have been smoking!"
If anything, Cory was getting angry. "I wasn't even doing it! I said no! Shawn was the one who got it and did everything."
Shawn pushed his hair back with both hands and it was clear by now that tears had spilled out onto his cheeks. "Cor, don't! Please don't sell me out!" He begged.
"Shawn, I'm just saying if he's going to try and get me grounded, I didn't even do anything and my dad'll believe me… eventually. So, threatening us isn't really even hurting me like Eric wants. It's just gonna get you in trouble."
Cory had a point.
"That true, Shawn?"
Rather than offering a response, Shawn started pacing, breathing heavily, and rubbing his forehead like he couldn't comprehend what was happening or how he'd ended up in this predicament.
"Why'd you do it? Shawn?"
His pacing was now accompanied by heavy breathing and the longer this went on, the more Eric was starting to feel uneasy.
"Shawn, stop!" Eric yelled, reaching out a hand to hold him still.
Shawn reciprocated, seizing Eric's arm. His face was pale and his eyes were wide and fearful. "You can't tell my dad! You just can't!"
Eric shook him off, took a step back, and crossed his arms. "You should have thought of this, Shawn."
"You don't understand! My dad can't find out!"
He wiped his nose on his sleeve and let out a sob. "No no no no." He said, turning and starting again down the driveway only to stop and march himself straight back just as before. "Please! Pleeeease! You don't understand! He's gonna be so mad!"
He crouched down with his face in his hands. His breathing was bordering on hyperventilation and his next words were muffled but still audible. "Pleease! I'll get punished!"
This had gone too far and Eric knew it. He wished he hadn't held out so long, pushing for answers and insisting he was going to tell. It seemed like the thing to do. After all, what good is having a sibling if you can't rat them out? But now he didn't see opportunity in Shawn's and Cory's misfortune. He felt regret and something inside him telling him to be worried for Shawn.
Cory had moved to Shawn's side. He put his hand on his shoulder and looked at Eric like there was something he could say to help.
"Shawn, come on. It's gonna be okay." Cory said, holding out his other hand to help him up.
Shawn refused his help. Raising himself, he wiped his eyes and looked at Eric. "It doesn't matter. Do whatever you want."
This time when he started to leave, Shawn didn't come back. He took off without another look in either of their directions, leaving Cory and Eric staring after him looking stunned.
"That was weird, right?" Eric said once Shawn was out of earshot.
Cory turned to face him. "Way to go, Eric."
"What?" Eric felt his face redden though he tried to pass it off. "What the hell is wrong with your friend?"
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Cory retorted, turning and slamming the side door behind him.
Eric felt compelled to go settle things with Cory only he couldn't think how. He wasn't sure why things went so wrong. Looking back now, it was clear. But as he lingered there watching Shawn drift further down the block, all he could think of was that he should know.
For a second, Shawn's distant figure froze. Eric thought he was going to come back and his chance to clear the air was about to arrive. But he wasn't coming back. Instead, Shawn stopped only to chuck something into the distance, presumably the cigarette, before he disappeared.
Eric never did rat them out. He never mentioned it to anyone. He thought it was the least he could do and for a while, it soothed his guilt. Until now.
Thanks for reading everyone and for your reviews! More to come soon. :)