The Detective and the Tech Guy
Rating: T
Summary: A case of mistaken identity and murder brings Sarah Walker, Pinkerton agent, to sunny California. Protecting the heir to the Bartowski Electronics Corporation should be just business - but Chuck Bartowski fills out a suit nicely and makes a mean martini. Chuck lobbied to hire the Pinkerton Agency, but had no idea the detective they'd send would be as alluring, intelligent and fascinating as Sarah Walker. Will the detective and the tech guy solve the mystery, distracted by the riddle in their own hearts? An homage to The Thin Man movies.
Disclaimer: We don't own Chuck or The Thin Man series. And we're making no monetary profit from this story.
Author's Note: Here is part 1 of "The Detective, The Tech Guy, and Distance"! All updates from here on out are written by Steampunk . Chuckster and Steampunk . Chuckster alone. Thanks for everything, dettiot!
Enjoy!
XOXOXOXO
Left jab. Left jab. Left jab. Quick right hook. Block. Left kick.
She switched it up, controlling her breathing, glaring at the blue punching bag without blinking.
Sarah Walker was determined to get the stress of the last week out of her system. The bag was taking a barrage of attacks. She was going at it harder than usual, but she had more stress than usual at the moment. Nothing was going well. Everything was sucking.
The unemployed detective had no forward momentum.
She was trapped. Stuck.
Even with the joy of decorating her new apartment, shopping for furniture with Chuck and sometimes Morgan or Ellie, the beautiful weather they'd been enjoying in Los Angeles, and morning runs along the beach whenever she could get out there, Sarah felt like she was in a hole she couldn't climb out of.
With a roar of fury, she gave the bag one last kick. The multiple screws Chuck had installed in the ceiling of her spare room (soon to be an office, if she ever got this damn business going) rattled, and she thought for a moment the brackets holding the bag up would snap. It had taken Chuck awhile to do it last week and she didn't really want him to have to do it again. She would have to explain to him why.
And anyways, they hadn't spoken in a few days.
That was the biggest reason for the extra effort she was putting into her current session with the bag. She and Chuck weren't on the same wavelength or something. They hadn't argued or fought. There'd been no disagreement. Nothing had happened.
But she had been living in her new place now for three weeks. And it had been nice those first few days. She had invited him for dinner and cooked salmon with garlic and capers. She'd set up the bar to look romantic and fancy because she still hadn't found an appropriate dining table at that point. And he had slept over afterwards.
Sarah hugged the punching bag and rested her cheek against it, trying to revive her energy a little. She found herself smiling as she remembered how Chuck looked all rumpled in his suit the next morning, two fingers holding the jacket slung over his shoulder, hair mussed. And he'd made a crack about feeling like he was in college again, doing the walk of shame.
She'd pinched his side, earning a giggle, and kicked him out, but not without a parting kiss.
But then the daily communication had started dropping off after a week. And when she called him, he sounded tired and a little distracted. She chalked it up to his work. He was a workaholic, after all. When Morgan stopped at her apartment to deliver the extra shrimp and fish he'd picked up for her while buying seafood for his restaurant, he'd mentioned just how much of a workaholic Chuck could be. Like using B.E.'s gym shower so that he could continue working without going home, and doing this on multiple occasions, that Morgan knew of.
It was strange, though, because even before she moved to LA, when they were still in the midst of their long-distance secret relationship, Chuck would call her all the time. However, in the last week and a half, Sarah had been the one to call first. Or text first. And a few of those calls and texts he hadn't even returned. Granted, none of them were important. Just sweet little nothing correspondences to connect since she hadn't seen him as often as she wanted to.
This wasn't like Chuck.
And it was driving her insane.
Sarah knew she should just go to his place, corner him, and ask him what was up. They had talked about how this relationship would work best if they communicated. And she knew she was the one that needed to remember that the most. Communication wasn't really her strong suit, after all. But Chuck was a communicator. He was a talker. He had to talk things out all the time. To frustrating lengths at times. She loved him, but it was true…he went a little overboard at times with the talking-it-out stuff.
That was why she was so worried. He wasn't himself. And she didn't know if it was something going on at the office or something…well, something going on with them. If that was the case, she wasn't sure she wanted to know. And maybe that was why she wasn't hurrying over to Chuck's condo to ask him what was up.
Pure cowardice was keeping her here. She was well aware of it. But that didn't mean she was going to do anything about it. What if she cornered him and he said the spark was gone? He was bored. Tired. Done.
Even though the chances of that happening were slim to none, Sarah's confidence was plummeting with each passing day. Because this just wasn't like Chuck, to be so distant and inattentive. She didn't consider herself a needy girlfriend. She wasn't dependent. Or clingy.
If she was clingy in the beginning, so was he. But that was normal, wasn't it? And she'd moved into her own place, after all. That was the opposite of clingy. The opposite of needy. She was surviving on her own.
Just barely, she thought to herself glumly as she pulled back to stand straight and pouted, halfheartedly reaching out to thump her glove against the bag.
Her self confidence had taken a lot of hits the past few weeks. She had been so excited about starting fresh, on her own. She'd idealized, both to herself and to Chuck, this future in which she had clients practically breaking her office door down, cases coming to her in droves. A life of intrigue and excitement. Chuck had even called her "Sarah Walker, P.I." in a cheesy accent that was straight out of an old gangster film.
But the reality was much more disappointing so far. Three weeks and she'd taken exactly zero steps forward. Maybe she'd even taken steps backward.
And if that weren't enough, without Chuck's constant presence and support, she felt herself floundering a little. His distraction wasn't helping her confidence any. In fact, it added even more worries. She hadn't slept at all last night, wondering if he was okay.
She even texted him in the middle of the night, asking if he was at the office or at home. He hadn't responded until this morning, apologizing because he'd forgotten his phone at home and he'd been at work all night. He had asked how she was, she had to admit. But when she told him she was fine, just busy, that had been the last of their correspondence all day.
A few months ago, she would have texted Chuck a very unsubtle, "I want to see you so bad" or even just, "I miss you so much". Whether she was sitting in her apartment in Chicago or some hotel room in Munich. And he would text her back along the same lines. Even when they were living together in his condo just a month ago, she would've sent something flirty and maybe a little needy.
But right now, after three weeks of living apart, even though she could walk to his place in twenty minutes tops, she was wondering if maybe he hadn't liked the idea of her moving out as much as he'd pretended to. What if he really didn't understand her decision? And now he was upset with her, or just upset in general?
She didn't regret this. It was good for them. She knew it was. But if he didn't agree, what could they do about it? She wasn't moving back in with him. And she sincerely didn't think Chuck would want that, either. He wouldn't want her to move back just because that was what he wanted.
But now she was confused. And maybe a little hurt. Which was ridiculous because there was a definite chance she was making assumptions and overreacting. This was probably about Bartowski Electronics. Maybe there was something bad going on over there. But why wouldn't he tell her?
This was all just so new to her. Chuck was her first real, long-term boyfriend. And how ridiculous that she hadn't even been dating him for a full year yet—they were approaching the nine month mark in a week or so—and this was by far the longest relationship she'd ever been in. Not even a year. Even then, none of her relationships had ever gotten serious. A handful of not-serious boyfriends did not make Sarah Walker a professional at healthy relationships. Plus, she'd always had a way of putting her work before everything else. And then there was her generally closed-off approach to other people. Her inability to properly voice her emotions didn't help, either.
She was a mess of a person, she finally had to admit.
Her inexperience was making her feel as though she didn't know how to properly handle all of this. She needed help, but she didn't want to go to Chuck when he was part of the problem. Or maybe she was the problem, because she didn't know how to approach him about her concerns about his behavior.
She needed someone to talk to, though. A friend.
And after living here for a few months now, Sarah hadn't really done much outside of fixing up her apartment, looking for work, planning, and being with Chuck and his family. Especially now that Ellie had been here for the last week. She was due to have her baby soon, within the next month or so, and that meant she was on pregnancy leave. She and Devon had made the decision to be here in Los Angeles for the birth, so that both of their families would be around them when the time came. Chuck had been ecstatic about it. He still was.
She assumed. She hadn't exactly talked to him much for a few days.
Was he going through something that she didn't know about? If he was, why wouldn't he tell her about it? He told her everything.
…Unless it was about her. She hadn't done anything different. She was just trying to get on her feet, trying to make something of herself out of…well, out of nothing.
Was she leaning on him too much? Not enough?
She felt panic rise in her chest and she tried to alleviate it with a few long breaths.
There was no reason for her to make herself crazy.
Ellie was here. She was in town. And she probably wasn't doing anything all that important, since she wasn't working. And the last text Ellie sent her a few days ago hinted at Devon driving her nuts.
Ellie knew Chuck. She was the person he talked to the most. Even more than Morgan, probably. And she would know if anything was wrong, wouldn't she?
Sarah pulled her gloves off, dropping them in the basket on the floor next to the front door where she kept her running shoes and weights. And then she went to the bar counter and grabbed her phone where she'd left it a few hours ago. No texts. No calls. Not from anyone. Not from Chuck.
Sarah pushed that thought away and called his sister. Within moments, Ellie answered her phone. And not two minutes later, Sarah hung up with brunch plans for the next morning.
Maybe a long chat with Ellie was just what the doctor ordered. And Sarah smirked a little at that, in spite of all of the bad feelings broiling in her stomach.
—
"Okay, Sarah. We've talked about everything under the sun and gone through three helpings of the brunch buffet…" Sarah pressed her lips together and raised her eyebrows. "Okay, fine. I've gone through three helpings of the buffet. Leave me alone, I'm eating for two." Sarah giggled at Ellie's sardonic look.
"But we have yet to talk about what's bothering you."
Sarah was struck speechless. She was usually so good at hiding distress. It was part of the job. At least, it was. Back when she was one of Pinkerton's best. Never let anyone know what you're thinking, whether it's a client, a witness, a suspect, or your own team. They are to believe only what you tell them verbally, and should never pick up on anything through your body language or social cues.
Granted, that had gone out the window where Chuck was concerned during their first meeting. What with the constant flirtation, and how easily he snuck through her barriers and got under her skin and into her heart.
Apparently, Ellie was just as bad as her brother.
Or Sarah had been away from her work as a detective for long enough that she was rusty. That thought made her nervous, so instead she decided to chalk it up to Bartowski Observational Know-How.
Sarah finally sighed. There was no use denying it. No use procrastinating or distracting. They'd already been here for an hour and a half.
And besides, this wasn't a case. This was her friend. The sister of the man she loved. She had a lot in common with Ellie. Like how they were both the main targets of Mary Bartowski's indignation more often than not. They both had similar taste in food and wine, though the wine part hadn't been put to the test yet considering Ellie had been pregnant the entire time Sarah had been Chuck's girlfriend and not just the detective safeguarding the Bartowski family.
But Sarah was looking forward to future wine nights with Ellie Woodcomb once the baby arrived.
She'd had dreams of having a martini thing with Chuck, and a wine thing with his sister. It was silly. Or maybe it was just some inner need to be considered a part of their family. She couldn't deny being a little envious of their tight bond, as happy as it made her to watch them together.
"Fine. I…" She sighed again, then took a long drink from her mimosa. "What isn'tbothering me? Besides the Renoir print I hung in the entry way of my apartment. That actually looks better every day."
Ellie smiled a bit at that, but then she sobered quickly. "Is it the apartment? Your landlord giving you crap about hanging up the punching bag? If so, it's probably because he's a man and he doesn't know just how much a woman living in today's world needs one of those." She pointed to herself and widened her eyes. Sarah giggled again.
"No, the apartment is fine. My landlord's been great. Really helpful. He leant me stuff to clean the grout in my bathroom, even. Really nice old guy." Ellie smiled, but she was waiting for her to continue, Sarah knew. So she took a deep breath and shrugged, an attempt at minimizing what she was about to say. "I guess it's—Has Chuck seemed okay to you?"
Ellie frowned, her brow furrowed. "Has he seemed okay?" she repeated, seemingly confused by the question.
"Yeah…" Sarah winced and shook her head. "Sorry. I just mean, has he acted a little funny, do you think? Lately, I mean."
"Funny?"
"Yeah…weird. Um…I don't know." Sarah let out a breath and took another long drink from her mimosa.
"Sarah, is there something going on with you two? Is everything okay?"
Sarah swallowed quickly and nodded. "Everything's okay. I mean, nothing's going on. We haven't gotten into a fight, or even an argument. No disagreements. Nothing's happened. Nothing's changed. I mean, everything's the same, so of course we're okay. Except for the big thing—the big change, I mean. I moved out a few weeks ago, so that's a change, but everything's good. I think everything's good. But what if that's it? What if it's about me moving out?"
Ellie's eyes were getting bigger and bigger as Sarah continued, and it was like the younger woman couldn't stop herself. She just kept going until Ellie finally held up a hand. "Whoa, whoa okay. Sarah. Hold on. Take a breath."
"Sorry. I'm so sorry," she muttered, shaking her head in self-deprecation. She could feel the blush on her cheeks.
"No! It's okay! I just want to make sure you're getting enough oxygen, woman."
Sarah let out a soft, amused huff, still a little mortified and unsure. "Yeah. Oxygen. It's not even—I mean it isn't Chuck's fault. It's me."
"Hey!" Ellie put down her fork and pointed a finger at her, lifting an eyebrow over an intense green-eyed glare. "Don't do that. Heaping all the blame on yourself right off the bat, letting him off the hook." She lowered her finger and picked up her fork again, chewing fried hash browns frustratedly. "Tell me what's going on and I'll help you figure out who's to blame."
For some reason, that set Sarah at ease. Having Ellie take control of the conversation took a lot of pressure off of the ex-detective, so with one last sip of her mimosa, she looked up at the other woman and spilled her concerns.
"Chuck's been distant. Or distracted. Not all there, you know? Whenever we are together, he's the same as always, for the most part, but then he gets kind of quiet. And Chuck is not a quiet guy."
Ellie snorted softly. "You know my brother well, Sarah Walker."
"See? That's just it. I do. I know him really well. And I know something is bothering him, but I don't know what. Because he's just not as…attentive." She winced a little, because in her mind, what she meant by "attentive" had included the physical part as well as the emotional part. And Ellie was Chuck's sister. She wasn't exactly the person Sarah wanted to talk to about her sex life with Chuck.
Ellie slowly pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and looked down at her almost empty third plate thoughtfully. Then she looked back up at Sarah, meeting her eyes. "I know I'm Chuck's sister, but you can still talk to me about him. I mean, minus the details. I mean, I can do without the details. You know what I'm saying, right?" Sarah nodded with a closed-mouth smile and blushed a little harder. "Okay, good. Just checking. I gotta say, though, he seemed a little off-balance when I saw him yesterday."
Sarah inadvertently leaned closer. "You saw him yesterday? Did he look okay?"
Ellie frowned. "Just how long has it been since you saw him?"
"When I slept over Sunday night."
"Sarah!" Sarah jumped, nearly hitting her knee on the underside of the table. "It's Friday! You haven't seen Chuck since Monday? You guys are almost neighbors!"
"I know, I know. But I just assumed he was really busy with work, you know? It seems like every time I text him he's at the office. Working. But I'm scared that's not it. I'm scared something's up with him. Something more important. Or…something with us."
"Oh, Sarah…honey." Ellie's reassuring hand was over hers on top of the table. "You can't just sit around wondering. You have to talk to him. Men aren't mind readers, you know? They need you to literally spell things out for them. I know. I'm living with one. I'm married to him. Having his child, even." She made a face and made Sarah smile in amusement.
But then she sobered again, playing with her food. "I don't know what to say to him. How to broach the subject. I'm not exactly a professional relationship haver."
"Well, who is a professional relationship haver?" Ellie asked in a flat voice. "My parents? Ha! Me and Devon? Ha! No. I mean, seriously. You're being way too hard on yourself."
"No, you don't understand. I'm so inexperienced at this, Ellie. I…" Ellie raised her eyebrows and Sarah thought for a moment that she was giving too much of herself away. Old habits die hard, and all that. But then she sucked it up, met Ellie's green eyes, and gave her a sardonic, closed-mouth smile. "I've had maybe a handful of boyfriends, none of them serious even slightly. Physical stuff. Never anything that I had to really put effort into, nothing I ever saw going for more than a few months. The longest one lasted ten weeks, I think? Chuck's my first serious relationship…ever. And I just think that it's…showing."
Ellie let out a long breath, her brow furrowed thoughtfully. "Hm. I mean, I can see where you're coming from. But listen, whether you have the experience or not, there are just things that…nobody is ever really prepared for in relationships. Hard stuff, you know?"
"It'd be easier if I had the experience."
"Oh, what's the fun in that, though?" Ellie smirked, stealing the top flake of Sarah's biscuit. Sarah just chalked that up to the woman's pregnancy, since she didn't really seem like the food stealing type. A part of her was warmed by it. Maybe it was ridiculous, but the fact that Chuck's sister was comfortable enough to steal her food meant maybe Ellie was sincerely comfortable with her.
Ellie paused, chewing thoughtfully. "Experience does not a woman make. At least I don't think so. Not completely. What matters to me is how you handle things in the present."
"But it would be easier to know how to handle this if I had experience."
"Maybe not. Maybe the fact that Chuck is your first serious boyfriend is a good thing." She shrugged, eating more of Sarah's biscuit. Sarah smirked and pushed the plate closer to Ellie, earning the woman's knowing eyebrow raise along with a bit of a self-deprecating snort, before she grabbed the whole thing and started munching on it. "I mean, think about it," she said around a mouthful of biscuit. "This is different from anything you've ever had before. Totally new. Unique, even. Which makes it even more special than it maybe would be if you'd had a serious relationship before." She paused. "Am I making any sense to you? Or is the food talking?"
Sarah chuckled softly and smiled affectionately. "You're making complete sense. And you might be right." A large part of Sarah thought Ellie was right. But she still believed her inexperience was making all of this more difficult than it would've been otherwise.
She decided to let Ellie have this conversation, though, and meant to move on.
But Ellie beat her to it.
"You know, Chuck did seem distracted when I saw him. A little like he's out of body, or—or trapped in his head. He does that when he's thinking really hard about something important."
Ellie winced then as Sarah felt her panic reflect in her face.
"I seriously doubt it's about you, Sarah. I'm not just saying that to make you feel better. Truly. Honestly. Chuck has never cared about anything or anyone else as much as he cares about you. It's part of why I like you so much." She smiled and squeezed Sarah's hand. "My little brother's never been this happy. Not even when he was a little curly top baby trying to eat his own fist."
The image made Sarah giggle so that her shoulders bounced. Her grin was massive. She had seen Chuck's baby pictures, thanks to Ellie doing her best to embarrass her brother the first time Sarah was invited to a family dinner at the Bartowski family home. But he'd killed part of his big sister's fun by not being quite as mortified as she'd teasingly wanted him to be.
"Really, Sarah. I highly doubt you're the reason he's being like this. Chuck doesn't…He doesn't shy away from being honest. Kinda like me." She lifted a shoulder jauntily and Sarah let out a quick laugh through her nose.
"Oh, really? I've never gotten that from you."
Sarah thoroughly enjoyed Ellie's secret smile.
"Look, maybe I don't know what's going on with him right now, but I know you have nothing to do with it."
"Thanks, Ellie." Sarah smiled. "And I'm not really worried about that. I would never actually believe Chuck is trying to figure out the nicest way to break up with me or anything like that. Things are really good with us, better than I ever could have hoped. I'm just…" She sighed. "I'm really worried about him."
"Yeah. So am I. The fact that you don't even know what's going on…Well, he's not the type to keep things from everybody. He's not a keep-it-inside kind of person."
"Exactly. Not like me."
Ellie smirked and looked away. It was something of an all-knowing look. The look that said Ellie saw right through her. And it was just a little uncomfortable. But not quite as much as it would've been a year ago—or even a few months ago.
What she'd just told Ellie, about how she knew Chuck wasn't going to break up with her…that was true. It was unthinkable, not just because it would shatter her entire world, but because it just wasn't going to happen. They were in love and nothing would ever make Sarah question that. But that didn't mean there couldn't be a problem between them…and she needed Ellie's help. Or maybe just her reassurance.
"Ellie, I moved out of Chuck's condo three weeks ago. And I know he didn't want me to. Part of me wanted to stay, too. But I needed to…untether myself from relying so much on Chuck."
Ellie nodded. "I'm sure my mom reminded you, too," she said in a flat voice.
"Well, I mean…sort of. She hinted."
"Oh, I know. She's so passive aggressive. I wanted to slap her silly."
Sarah snorted at the image that came to her mind. It made her feel good and she was only a little guilty about how good it made her feel.
"It was more about me, though. About how I felt. I loved seeing him every day, sharing my life with him, but I think it was also forcing us to move really fast. And I just want to know I can do this. I can stand on my own two feet, have my own place, pay for my own things, have a career that I built on my own. Moving into my own apartment is the best thing for me right now. It's the best thing for us—for me and Chuck. You know?"
"I agree," Ellie said. "Another thing I like about you. You're level-headed, patient, and smart." Sarah tried not to blush. Really. "It showed a lot of intelligence and maturity on your part. And on his part, too, for being supportive even if he didn't really want you to move out at first."
Sarah looked at Chuck's sister closely for a moment, gnawing on the inside of her cheek a little.
"Did—You don't have to tell me because, you know, he's your brother and I totally get it if you don't want to repeat some of the things you two talk about to - to me. You know, to his girlfriend. But did he tell you how he felt about it? About me moving out, I mean."
Ellie pressed her lips together and nodded slowly. "Mmhmm. He did. And I know he was a little sad about it at first. Not that he thought you were leaving because of him, or that you were abandoning him or anything like that. He isn't like that. I just think he was worried it might put some distance between you. More than that, though, he knew he was going to miss you."
"I get that. I mean, I was worried about those things, too," Sarah said quietly. "But do you think he was a lot more upset about me leaving than he said out loud? Or was he hiding his true feelings about my decision all this time and now that a few weeks have gone by, he's having a harder time keeping it in?"
"That's not it, Sarah." Ellie shook her head emphatically. "Chuck is sometimes a bit too eager to make people happy, especially the people he loves. Even if it's at his own expense. It's one of his flaws—a cute flaw, but a flaw just the same." Sarah smiled tentatively. "But he wouldn't cover up his feelings about something this important. I know at first he was a little sad, but he also told me that you two living apart had some perks."
"He did?" Sarah sat forward a little in her chair and forgot about the food on her plate.
"Mhm. I agree with him. Living in two separate places means seeing each other a little less, maybe, but you both need to have your own things. He has his things and you have your things. Not only that but without you two being on top of each other all the time—and oh God, I didn't mean it that way, stop it Ellie." She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head as Sarah laughed. "With your own places, it means you have to make time for each other. You're forced to put other things aside. You won't take the time you do have together for granted. He's right. That's really important."
"He said that to you? Like, he meant it when he said it? He wasn't just making something up to make himself feel better about me moving out?"
"Chuck doesn't say stuff to me if he doesn't mean it. Except for that time I asked him if I looked chubby and he said no, which was a total lie because I was seven months pregnant and I absolutely looked chubby."
"Hey, I'm on his side with that one. Pregnant women aren't 'chubby'. They're gorgeous and courageous."
"And chubby."
Sarah sent the woman a good-natured glare, then turned back to her food for a few minutes. "So you don't think I've upset him?"
Ellie looked at her long and a little hard. And then she softened a little and sighed. "Sarah. Chuck is a sweetheart. He's a really good catch for any woman, even a woman as gorgeous and intelligent and sweet as you are…" Sarah smiled shyly and blushed a little. "But you can't let the fact that he's a sincerely great person make you feel like everything is always your fault. You know what I'm saying?"
Sarah didn't really, but she nodded anyways.
"No, you don't," Ellie said, smirking a bit in amusement. Sarah winced. "Look, Chuck is a pretty great dude. My big sister bias aside, it's the truth."
"He is," Sarah agreed softly.
"Mhm. But he is also human. Which means he isn't perfect. More than that, he is a member of the male species. Take it from me. The father of my child is also a really great guy, but he has flaws. They're pretty adorable sometimes, I have to admit. But he has them just the same. The thing is, it's really easy to put a guy like Chuck on a pedestal. But when he makes mistakes, you can't let it make you think his mistake is yours. It's human nature to see the person you love as superior. Have you seen my husband's torso? It's ridiculous."
Sarah laughed out loud and put a hand to her forehead. She had seen Awesome's torso. And it was, in a word, awesome.
"No, seriously," Ellie said, her voice still light with amusement. "It's totally natural for you to feel like Chuck's a better person than you are, whether he actually is or not." He was. Sarah knew it was true. "That if he's upset, it's because you've done something wrong. And maybe that'll be the case here and there. I've pissed Devon off enough times to know. It happens. But you can't think it's all on you every time. I'm almost certain it isn't you this time."
"I get what you're saying," Sarah said with a sigh. "But like you said, Chuck gets like this when he's thinking about something that's really important. Maybe it's just me, but our relationship is the most important thing in my life."
Ellie beamed.
"Sorry. I don't mean to—but I feel really giddy hearing you say that. It's the sweetest, cutest thing I've ever heard." She swiped at the air with her hand, working to school her grin a little. "Sarah, this doesn't have to do with you two. I'm sure of it. My parents have probably heaped something onto him and he's drowning in his own brain. It's such a big brain and he gets lost in there sometimes, he's such a doofus."
"Hey…" Sarah pouted a little and glared. "He's not that much of a doofus."
"It's okay, Sarah. You have a thing for doofuses. Nothing to be ashamed about. Look at my doofus. I swear to God, the other night I said something in my sleep and he woke me up and made me get dressed while he called our doctor to ask if it was time. It was three in the morning."
Sarah guffawed. "Oh, poor guy."
"Poor him? Poor me! I was dreaming that I was in Hawaii, sitting on the beach drinking a piña colada out of an actual coconut and he interrupted that shit! I was so mad!"
Sarah just laughed harder.
When they both sobered up a little, the conversation continued on a lighter note. And Sarah saw that Ellie felt she'd appropriately eased the younger woman's mind for the time being.
But Sarah still had that niggling doubt that wouldn't go away.
As much as she trusted Ellie's judgment, as much as she thought Chuck's older sister knew him maybe better than anyone, she was still worried. Even if it had nothing to do with their relationship, why was he being so distant from her? What was bothering him so much that he was this distracted?
If it wasn't about them…what was it about?
XOXOXO
Chuck listened to the soft thunk sound that happened every time he dropped his head against his desk. Over and over and over. Until the last one hurt a little and he sat up again, only to sigh, groan, and sink back in his chair.
He had made the decision to stop thinking about it, and somehow that had meant it was allhe could think about.
It was Sarah's fault.
And then he felt like such an asshole for thinking that. Because it really wasn't her fault she was such a bad ass, independent go-getter. She was taking these epic strides in establishing herself as a private investigator, with her own business and nobody to answer to but herself. She was grabbing life by the horns. She was amazing.
But watching her move into her own place, starting to research how to start her own business, all of the preparations she was making to start her life afresh, had planted a seed in his mind that soon bloomed into a full garden. It was clogging up his brain and making everything else fade into the background.
And it was driving him nuts.
He had been thinking seriously about what it would be like to break away from Bartowski Electronics, to start his own electronics company that reached further than his father's could—what with how massively successful B.E. was. So many filthy rich investors would shit bricks if anything about B.E. changed. "The rich like to stay rich, Charles. And they definitely don't like change," his father had told him years ago when Chuck approached him about some of his ideas.
Yes, Chuck was supposed to take over for his father when he decided to retire.
It had been in the works for awhile now. He was being prepped for it, already taking over a lot of the CEO's responsibilities while his father acted as the face of the company.
But in the last few weeks, the last week in particular, Chuck couldn't stop thinking about that dream he'd once had. The one Ellie still pestered him about here and there. The dream of going it on his own and really starting something that could potentially change the industry. He wasn't foolish enough to think he'd be changing the world.
The drive to take that leap had increased recently.
And that was because of Sarah. He knew it was. She was influencing him, giving him an example of what it meant to live for yourself, to reach for goals and work towards meeting them. And he couldn't thank her enough for that.
But at the same time, he knew it was unrealistic right now. A serious risk. He couldn't make those strides Sarah was making. It was the worst timing.
So he decided it was best not to tell anyone.
Not even Ellie or Morgan, even though he knew Ellie had wanted this for him since the beginning. She'd always given him crap for joining their dad's business instead of starting his own company. And it was a little unfair of her, but he also knew she was right.
And Sarah…
Well, she was why it just wasn't the right time for him to be nursing the idea of starting his own company.
Sarah was in the midst of taking a huge, massive, and difficult step in her life. This was her dream; it was her time. And she needed every ounce of his attention and support.
She had been thrust into this situation because Pinkerton had made a hasty, idiotic decision to let her go. She had to do this now.
Chuck had a job, an incredibly rewarding job that made him a very rich man. He wasn't just in a place where he could stand on his own two feet, he was head and shoulders—leagues even—above the average American. Meanwhile, Sarah didn't have a job. She was relying on her savings to get her by while she worked to build something that could pay the bills.
It would be incredibly selfish of him not to prioritize what she was doing over his batshit crazy, risky idea.
They couldn't both pursue their dreams at the same time. He was just thinking realistically. Sarah's dream was so much more important than his right now. It took precedence, not just because he loved her and wanted to see her succeed, but because her livelihood literally depended on that success happening as soon as possible.
Chuck wanted to shoulder part of her load. And he wouldn't be able to do that with his own massive load on his shoulders while he started his own company at the same time.
So he would wait for awhile. Until she established herself. Until she got her business off the ground. He didn't want to be distracted when she needed him.
And she did need him. She'd said as much a few weeks ago when she invited him over for dinner. He could still remember every word of their conversation.
"So, I've sort of…made a decision. An important one."
Chuck looked up from his salmon. "A decision?"
"Yeah. And I want to know what you think about it. Since it's gonna affect you almost as much as me, probably. What with us being together. A couple." She looked a little shy suddenly as she took a sip of her wine and rolled her shoulders.
"What is it?" he prompted, and she met his gaze steadily in the soft candlelight.
"I'm going to start my own business. No more looking for people to hire me. I'm…well, I'm hiring myself. I'm gonna be a private investigator."
A thrill went through him immediately as he gaped. "Are you serious?"
"Um…yes…?" She blinked.
"That's the coolest thing I've ever heard in my life!" he blurted, putting his fork down. "Like, you're gonna run around LA solving cases on your own? This is so cool! It's just like Remington Steele!"
"Like…what?"
"Pre-James Bond Pierce Brosnan?" She blinked. "Nothing, never mind. We can watch that later. Do you know what this means?"
She paused, obviously amused. "No…what?"
"You get to have one of those cool doors with the milky glass window you can't see through. And your name will be on it like…" He affected a Bogart accent. "Sarah Walker, P.I." And then he squinted his eyes in a Bogart fashion at her.
She giggled and pushed her hair back from her face. "I'm glad you're so excited about it."
"And proud," he said emphatically. "So proud. And so behind you. All the way. I'm so excited. I'm going to get to say my girlfriend is a P.I. I mean, it really doesn't get any cooler than that. I love my life."
Sarah full on laughed this time. "Aside from the whole thing where I have a career, right?"
"Right, that's the most important thing." He chuckled a little self-deprecatingly and rubbed his neck.
"But Chuck, this is going to be really hard. A lot of research. I mean, I don't even know what to do yet. I need a place to conduct my business from. And I'll need an assistant or a receptionist or something. Though, that'll come way later. And marketing. All of that stuff. It's going to be really tough."
"I'm with you. Whatever you need. You know that."
She smiled. "I love you, Chuck. And I'm just going to say it right now. I'm really going to need you. All of the work and the research and all that, I'm gonna do on my own. I have to. So that I can prove to myself, and to your mother," she added sardonically, "that I'm capable of being independent. I just want to know that I have you to lean on when it gets rough."
"Yes. Absolutely. Baby, always." He reached across the table and took her hand, squeezing it before bringing it to his lips, meaning every single word.
Yes, she needed him. She needed him to support her and not be distracted by his own plans for his career. He had time for that.
But no matter how many times he told himself that, no matter how many times he decided it was her time to chase her dream, he couldn't stop thinking about his own. And fretting over the implications and difficulties, while also wondering at how awesome it would be to finally have a say in the direction of a company…his own company.
It was time to stop dwelling, though. Time to push his own wants aside. That was what being in a strong, loving relationship was all about, wasn't it? He needed to put all of his effort into helping her get her business off the ground first, and then later, when she was settled, working on cases, in a good place, he would start planning. And he could talk to his dad.
That was the other thing. How would he break it to his parents? They were depending on him. Granted, Stephen J. Bartowski still had fifteen or more years left in his tank before he would want to retire. He had said as much numerous times, even though Chuck knew his mom wanted him to retire earlier.
And spend all of his free time with her harping on him? Probably not.
But his father would be so disappointed. And maybe even angry. He wasn't the type to get angry, but this would definitely do it if anything could.
Chuck wanted to have a layout, a real plan, before he told his father. Before he told Ellie, even. Not that she'd spill the beans, but he didn't want her to get her hopes up. He didn't want to tell her all of his plans again, only to lose his willpower and stay with B.E. She would be so disappointed in him.
Maybe he didn't want anyone to get their hopes up. Sarah, included. He didn't want to tell her his idea and have her be all proud and excited, only to realize it was a pipe dream…that he couldn't do it, couldn't make it work. He'd go back to the status quo and he would be so ashamed. Especially with everything she was accomplishing starting her own business.
This way, if it didn't work out, she would be none the wiser. Nobody would be disappointed in him, or pity him.
He didn't get much farther on that thought, because his mother and sister chose that moment to walk in. Or at least, his mother walked in, with Ellie trailing behind her, looking miffed with a hint of apology.
"Sorry, Chuck. I told her to knock first."
"S'okay—"
"Charles, your sister should not be driving right now. She's gonna pop any moment and she's getting behind the wheel. It's crazy! Tell her!"
"Stop being ridiculous, Mom. I've got more than a month left until I 'pop'," Ellie mocked.
"What if you get into an accident?!"
"I'm not going to get into an accident!"
"That's what people think until they get into an accident! Where's your husband? Why isn't he driving you?"
Ellie's jaw clenched. "He's sleeping. He didn't get any sleep because he stayed awake all night staring at me to make sure he didn't sleep through me going into labor."
"What?" Mary Bartowski blinked. "That doesn't make any sense."
"Yeah, tell me about it."
"Well, I'll drive you home. Chuck and Devon can take your car back later."
"You're being ridiculous! I'm driving home!" Ellie snapped.
"You shouldn't be driving!"
Chuck felt his blood pressure rising. It had been a long day and an even longer night before that. He had so much work backed up from last week when he had a meeting in San Diego and he decided to stay until the next day when it ran late into the night. And then he stayed the rest of that day and that next night as well.
Also he'd invited Sarah, so that might've had something to do with the long meeting turning into a two day trip.
It was worth it, in spite of the catching up he had to do.
The worst part wasn't the actual work. It was easy—just some simple coding that he could do in his sleep before he sent it off to his imagineers to finish it up and continue the process. But he wouldn't get any of it done with his mom and sister barking at each other in his office.
What he failed to recognize was that he hadn't been working when they barged in. He'd been obsessing over his current life predicament instead.
"Look. Mom. I know you mean well," Ellie was saying, "but I already have one paranoid person bossing me around. I don't need two."
"I'm your mother! It's my job!"
"Oh so now it's your job—"
"Did either of you come into my office for any particular reason?" Chuck asked, raising his voice just enough for both of them to spin and gape at him silently. "Because believe it or not, I've got plenty of work I need to be doing right now. But by all means, please stay. Here, have a seat on my couch. Continue barking at one another. That won't be distracting at all."
Both women blinked slowly at him, then turned to give each other similar looks.
It irked him to no end.
"Charles…? Is—Is anything wrong? You seem a little upset." To her credit, his mother actually did look concerned about him. And he realized how rigid he sat in his chair, how tense his shoulders were, and his jaw was clenched tightly. He purposefully ironed out his features and took a deep breath, sending them both an apologetic smile.
"Sorry. Didn't mean to snap. I just…haven't been sleeping all that great. Touch of insomnia. On top of a lot of catch-up I need to do here." He shrugged, lifting a small stack of papers and dropping them back onto his desk again.
"Mom, can I talk to Chuck alone?"
His mother's put-upon sigh was predictable and both he and Ellie ignored it as he started pulling his work up on the computer. "Charles, tomorrow is high tea at the Ruysbroeks. I need to know if you're going so that I can tell Rhonda."
"No."
"No, you aren't going? Or no, you won't tell me if you're going."
"Moooomm," he whined in a way that was unbecoming to a twenty-seven year old adult.
"Just trying to lighten the mood."
"That's a first," Chuck heard Ellie mumble sarcastically.
"Why don't you want to go?" his mother continued, pointedly ignoring her daughter.
Ellie stepped in. "Because it's high tea, Mom. At the Ruysbroeks. I always end up needing a burger after I go to their parties. Those people don't eat!"
"Who even raised you two?" Mary Bartowski asked, shaking her head and narrowing her eyes. "Oh, forget it. Fine. Your father and I will go without you. Both of you."
And with that, she left Chuck alone with his sister. He could feel Ellie's green eyes on him as he began his work, but she wasn't saying anything.
Chuck could virtually do this all day, though, because he was used to Ellie staring at him like this, studying him, trying to figure him out. It was Ellie Bartowski-Woodcomb in her natural element, honestly.
But instead of ignoring her completely, he finally sighed and lifted his gaze to hers. "Alright, sis. What's up? I really have a lot of work to do."
"Yeah. You do."
There was a tone in her voice that made him look at her more closely. She was hinting at something that had nothing to do with electronics at all. And she rolled her eyes when he didn't immediately pick up on what she was getting at.
"When's the last time you saw your girlfriend?"
"What? Like…" He felt himself fumbling, thinking back, wondering when that was. "I mean, she's got her business she's trying to get off the ground, which requires a lot of work so she's been super busy. And she's still settling in her apartment, decorating, furnishing, and all that. And then I've got all of this —Oh my God, I'm awful. I'm an awful boyfriend. I haven't talked to her even in…days! And I haven't seen her since Monday. What day is it? Is it Friday? Oh my God, I'm the worst. What the hell is wrong with me? I'm a horrible boyfriend!"
Ellie simply crossed her arms and smirked a little like the annoying big sister she was. He noticed she wasn't disagreeing with him. "And there's the Chuck I know. Replacing whoever the hell that grumpy, distracted Chuck was sitting there a few minutes ago."
Chuck gave her a frustrated look, even as he felt terrible. He had neglected his own girlfriend while trying to plan the best way to not neglect her. He had been fretting so much over needing to support Sarah instead of pursuing his own venture that he completely abandoned her. He did the opposite of what he was trying to do without even realizing it. It was the worst kind of irony. He was a joke.
He started rummaging through the papers on his desk, frantic. "Why is my phone next to me when someone annoying is calling—"
"Like mom?"
He ignored her. "But when I actually need it—AHA!"
Chuck snatched his phone and fumbled with it a little. "I need to call her right now." And then suddenly he realized it wasn't in his hand anymore. He stared at his hand, then looked up at Ellie who stood on the other side of his desk holding his phone. "How did you…?"
"Your girlfriend isn't the only ninja around here, Chuck." She raised an eyebrow.
"El, gimme my phone. I really need to talk to Sarah. I need to apologize."
"You need to slow the heck down and breathe and talk to your sister for a few minutes. Then you can calmly give her a call." She paused, holding the phone away from him as he reached.
"You should probably keep in touch with that girl, Chuck. Since, you know, you're dating. And you only live a few minutes away from one another and there's all this technology…" She wiggled his phone with wide eyes and he felt like an idiot. "…that makes it pretty easy to stay in contact."
"I suck," he breathed, burying his face in his hands. "I seriously didn't mean to. But oh my God, I did."
"Yeah, Chuck! You did! What is up with you these days? It's not like you to forget about Sarah Walker. I'm not sure anybody could forget that woman." She widened her eyes again and delivered her non-verbal message loud and clear. Sarah Walker was basically a goddess. It was impossible to forget a woman like that.
"I didn't forget her! Jesus, Ellie! She's my girlfriend. I love her. It's just that…" He stopped and sighed heavily. "Sarah and I took this mini-vacation to San Diego last week when I had that meeting dad had to back out of. And the amount of work I missed out on was worse than usual. So I've been practically glued to the desk trying to work things out, organize, fix stuff…We have deadlines, you know? And what kind of CEO am I gonna be if I can't even figure out how to meet deadlines?"
Part of that was true. But he wasn't ready to give her the full truth, yet. He wasn't ready to tell her he had been intensely distracted by a mixture of fear and excitement for a new adventure, one that meant starting his own company, breaking away from the Bartowski Electronics brand name.
It had made him into a zombie. He hadn't been present in Sarah's life for an entire week, maybe even longer. He was such an idiot.
"Chuck, you can't let this job cause you to lose sight of the really important things," she said, walking around his desk to the side he was on and sitting on the edge of it to look down at him.
"I know. But I mean, Sarah's the most independent person I've ever met. Which is part of what makes her so amazing. And I want to give her space to figure stuff out on her own. Because I know that's what she wants, you know? She wants to be able to handle all of this herself. I'm such a huge idiot, though, because I gave her too much space. I just want her to have room to build her new life."
"But you're part of that new life, Chuck."
"I know! I know. It's just…I was so caught up in trying to do everything right, I guess I kind of ended up doing it…wrong."
This was partly true, as well. He had been trying to give Sarah a little space, keeping himself from showing up at her place whenever he wanted to. She deserved some privacy, some time to be alone. And as much as he missed waking up with her every morning, he had to admit he'd needed a little alone time himself. But not this much.
"Can I have my phone, please?"
"No, not yet. You need a lecture first."
"I really don't."
"Oh, trust me. You do. I'm your big sister. I practically raised you, remember? It's my job to do this. So sit back, shut up, and listen." She smiled a little to ease the bite in her words and it worked. He sat back, shut up, and listened.
"You need to step it up, brother." She poked his shoulder and it kind of hurt a little. "She needs you right now more than ever. With everything she's got on her plate? I mean, come on! What is wrong with you? That girl left everything she knew behind to come here and be with you, to start fresh. And now that she's trying to make it on her own, you just go 'Cool, I'll just sit over here. Have fun with that.' She's struggling right now."
Chuck felt a pit open in his stomach. His chest hurt. "Did she tell you she's struggling?"
Ellie sighed and shrugged. "There's this girl code thing Sarah and I have established. So I won't tell you everything we talk about, but…" She leaned down a little. "Chuck, she looked frazzled when we went to brunch today."
"You saw her today?"
"You look like a puppy and it's really sweet, but I'm still mad at you, so stop." He didn't really know how to stop looking like a puppy. It was just his face. "Yes, I saw her today. She was nervous. Worried. About you, mostly."
Chuck felt even worse.
"Well, you two were practically attached at the hip for awhile there. And then she moves out—which was a really smart and mature thing for her to do, I have to say—and suddenly you become distant, distracted. What is she supposed to think?"
He groaned and thumped himself in the forehead. Sarah probably thought he was upset about her moving out now. The timing was awful on his part. Ellie was right. What was Sarah supposed to think? "Please, can I have my phone? I need to call her."
"No! No, because I'm not done berating you yet, you numbskull. I mean to bust your ass enough the first time so that it sticks and this doesn't happen again."
He was a numbskull and he deserved this, but he needed to call Sarah.
"You know I don't like to butt into other people's business—" Chuck scoffed affectionately. It was mostly an accident. He'd meant to do it in his head. And he received quite the glare from her. "Shut up! I don't! But I have vested interest in this relationship, so I feel the need to say this."
"You have…?" That was news to Chuck. He always thought it was just he and Sarah. But apparently he was wrong.
Ellie ignored him, though, as she did often. "Chuck, you know by now that I have never liked any of your prior girlfriends. They sucked. They were shit girlfriends."
"I mean, you aren't wrong."
"But you are tripping absolute balls," Chuck made a weirded out face, "if you aren't completely and totally invested in this relationship. I mean, long term. Long long term. She is a freaking ray of sunshine! She is so good for you! And she's my friend, on top of all of that, so don't you blow this for us!"
Chuck could only stare, his mouth agape. Long long term. As nice as it was to hear his sister supporting his decision to be with Sarah, he could only focus on the long long term part. Long long term like…forever. He wasn't exactly opposed to that. "Sis, I…uh…"
"I have another human that is currently wedged inside of me, and there are a lot of feelings happening right now, so just do me a favor and shut up and listen."
He cleared his throat and sat back against his chair, pressing his lips together and staring at her.
"I don't care what crap dad's making you do here, I don't care about your damn deadlines, I don't care if mom thinks you're not working hard enough to take over for dad when he retires…"
"She said that?" Ellie glared. "Sorry, sorry."
"You have more responsibilities than Bartowski Electronics now, Chuck. I know I don't really have to say this to you. You're a good man. A really good brother. But that girl of yours is trying to do something good for herself and she's going through a rough patch. She doesn't seem as confident as she usually is. She needs her man. And you need to talk to her. Stand up for her. Support her."
Chuck nodded. "I know all that. I just got a little lost."
Ellie sighed and smiled a little, leaning forward to ruffle his hair affectionately, the way she'd always done since they were kids. "Sorry I bit your head off."
"Hey, no. Never apologize for being straight with me, El."
"You know how important she is, don't you? All of my stuff about her being my friend aside, she adores you. Everyone sees it. Even mom. I think she's threatened by it, if we're all being honest here." Chuck gave her a flat look, with a hint of amusement. "And nothing else in the entire universe has ever made you as happy as I've seen you when you're with her," Ellie continued.
"Trust me, El. I know. She's my Captain Awesome."
She got a little misty at that and he stood up.
"Oh, no. Noo no no. I didn't mean to make you cry." He hugged her loosely, just barely wrapping his arms around her, purposefully keeping from touching her middle for fear he might crush his niece or nephew. Not the best first impression of their uncle.
"You idiot, I deserve a better hug than that." Ellie grabbed him and yanked him in for a tight hug.
"The baby!" he squeaked, squirming a little in her embrace.
"Oh shut up, I'm allowed to hug people. You're almost as bad as Devon."
He chuckled and pulled back, seeing that she was wiping tears from her face. It usually took a lot to make Ellie cry. And he shifted his weight a little nervously. "El, are you okay?"
"Hormones. I'm totally fine. The tears just come whenever. At the grocery store. Watching cooking shows. Ugh." She accepted the tissue box he proffered and wiped her cheeks and eyes.
"Okay, good. Because I promise I'm making this right. You know you don't really have to lecture me about Sarah, right? You know I love her. You know I'm doing whatever I have to do to keep her around. Long term, sis." Forever, he added silently.
"You better be." She winked and patted his arm.
"You saw her today, though. Is Sarah okay? Do I need to go to her right now? Like, immediately? Are things really that bad with the business?"
"She's fine, Chuck. She's made of strong stuff. I mean, the woman saved your life a few times, right?"
"That she did." In more ways than one, he admitted silently, feeling sappy.
Ellie smiled. "Listen, though, don't let another day pass by before you ask her those questions, okay? I'm not your messenger. You need to figure this stuff out on your own from here on out, or I'm not gonna be this nice next time."
"Were you…Was this you being nice? Because…"
She laughed and swatted at him. "I'm serious, you butt. Get your act together. I'm pregnant, damn it," Ellie continued. "I'm already taking care of three humans."
"Three?"
"Devon. He's a basket case and he will be until this little one comes out of me. So, yes. Three."
"Do I need to take him away for a day?"
"Yes."
"I can do that for him."
"No. Do it for me. Please. I'm begging you."
Chuck laughed, pulling her in for another hug. "I love you, sis. Thanks for looking out for Sarah while I was too busy being a moron. I really appreciate it more than you know."
"You got it, idiot brother of mine." She thumped him on the back and pulled away.
When she left a minute later, Chuck slumped back into his chair and gnawed on his cheek thoughtfully. He had every intention of making up for this. He'd given Sarah a reason to doubt him. And he regretted it more than anything. He'd let his brain take control of everything. He'd been so anxious and distracted that he'd practically abandoned her when she needed him most.
It cemented for him the fact that he needed to keep the distractions away for awhile. No thinking about breaking away from B.E. No thinking about his own big life change. Not until Sarah had been given the chance to see hers through. They were partners now. Partners in a lot of things, but mostly, they were partners in life.
He was more than willing to do this for her, so that she could be successful, so that she could have everything she wanted. They would take turns. Right now it was her turn. His turn would come later.
Chuck felt fantastic about this plan.
All he knew was that Sarah needed to be the first person to hear his idea.
He could already guess what her response would be. She wouldn't want him to put off his own dream for hers. But he wasn't. Not really. She was a part of his dream. And he was just taking care of the Sarah part of his dream first.
That part he might not say out loud. He didn't want to make her nervous or scare her off because he was too intense. Especially not after she moved out on her own and slowed things down a little between them.
Smiling a little, he picked up his phone from where Ellie pointedly laid it before she left and dialed Sarah's number.
XOXOXOXO
Author's Note: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh what's next? You'll find out super soon, I'm sure. Part 2 coming! - SC