The Detective and the Tech Guy
Author: Steampunk . Chuckster
Rating: T
Summary: A case of mistaken identity and murder brings Sarah Walker, Pinkerton agent, to sunny California. Protecting the heir to the Bartowski Electronics Corporation should be just business - but Chuck Bartowski fills out a suit nicely and makes a mean martini. Chuck lobbied to hire the Pinkerton Agency, but had no idea the detective they'd send would be as alluring, intelligent and fascinating as Sarah Walker. Will the detective and the tech guy solve the mystery, distracted by the riddle in their own hearts? An homage to The Thin Man movies.
Disclaimer: No money is being made from this story. I don't own Chuck or The Thin Man series.
Author's Note: I just appreciate anyone still reading this story. I really do. You're all very kind and I appreciate your patience. It's still going strong and I have so many plans for it. So. Many. So stick around. And thanks again! This is part one of two for this little storyline here. So without further ado, here's "The Detective and the Tech Guy Babysit, Part 1"!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Sarah Walker, P.I. saw officers and detectives bustling around the room as soon as the doors to the elevator opened.
She slowly moved out of the elevator and stepped to the side to make way for the woman in the power suit walking a handcuffed perp onto the elevator. The perp whistled at Sarah, but before she could say anything mean back at him, or even make a face in response, the power suit wearing woman shoved at the back of the man's bald head and snapped, "Shut up, Markins."
Nothing else was said as the door shut behind them.
Sarah blinked and let out a low whistle to herself. She thought she could be friends with that detective. She figured she was a detective, as she was in pedestrian clothes and had a badge on her hip.
Phones were ringing off the hook, police detectives had their feet up on their desks, some in cubicles, some out in the open, and she had no idea how to find this Detective John Casey fellow. The way he sounded when she'd spoken to him on the phone had her looking for an older man, maybe. And Chuck's description of him was not helpful.
"Brown short hair, a super grumpy face. Taller than me, but grumpy. And did I mention grumpy? And built like a tank and grumpy."
He'd been offended by the fact that the detective refused to acknowledge him as her boyfriend, even though he'd attempted to just roll his eyes and laugh it off in front of her. She knew Chuck better than she knew anyone, though, and she saw the detective's rudeness had gotten under his skin.
Depending on what kind of a man this Detective Casey was, that might be something she'd bring up. She had to stick up for her man, after all. Granted, she was playing that by ear.
Sarah walked further into the room and straightened her spine a little, pulling her shoulders back, lifting her chin. She was wearing a power suit of her own, or at least…dark, solid jeans and a black blazer over a professional pearl-colored blouse. She had a part to play and she needed this detective guy to not think he could boss her around just because he had a badge and she didn't. She knew his type. With the way he'd talked down to Chuck, a civilian, she absolutely knew his type.
"Excuse me?" she asked a woman sitting at one of the desks, clicking her mouse and staring absent-mindedly at her computer screen. The woman swept her eyes up to meet Sarah's and sat back against her chair. Sarah felt the woman giving her quite the once over.
"May I help you?"
"Yes, I'm looking for Detective John Casey."
"Oh. Wrong floor. We're the Narcotics division. Two floors up is Robbery Homicide. Just ask 'em for the major."
"Major?" Sarah asked.
"Yeah, Major Asshole." The woman cackled, but didn't seem to have anything else to say, so Sarah just murmured a thanks and walked back to the elevator.
She still wasn't sure if the man she was looking for was actually once a major in the military, or if the woman had made it up for the joke's sake.
She shook her head as she pressed the button for what she hoped was the right floor. That didn't matter. What mattered was that Detective Casey asked for some information she might have on Franz Derlick. It was a case she'd worked in San Ysidro a year before she'd ever come to Los Angeles to work the Bartowski case. Derlick's condo in downtown San Diego had been ransacked and he'd been attacked. He'd called Pinkerton Detective Agency after the police department had "underperformed" on his case. Those had been his words. And she remembered the anger in his tone when he'd told them about SDPD's mishandling of his case.
What a detective in the LAPD could want with her now, even after she'd left Pinkerton behind, she had no idea. And what did he want with that case in particular?
Sarah walked into the Robbery Homicide unit, or at least, she thought that was what this was… This floor looked the same as the floor she'd just come from.
This time, she went straight into the cluster of cubicles and desks and asked a man who'd just climbed out of his chair where she could find Detective John Casey.
He gave her a long look, and she let him know she didn't appreciate the way his eyes moved down to her toes and back up to her head again by glaring. Hard. He at least looked a little ashamed as he pointed towards the back corner of the room. "His desk's by the captain's office. Next to that door. I dunno where he is, though."
"Thanks."
He shrugged, and she felt his gaze follow her as she swept past his desk. Whatever…
She saw the name plate that said "Det. Casey" on the desk in the corner as she slowed in front of it, and then she turned on her heel to glance around the room. She supposed she would just wait here, she thought, glancing at her watch. She was right on time. Eleven AM, on the dot, just like they'd agreed over the phone.
And because he wasn't here, because she, herself, was a detective through and through, even if she no longer held the title, Sarah did a thorough investigation of Detective Casey's desk, without even having to move a muscle. There were a few file cases in the corner of his desk, stacked on top of one another, and then papers in no particular order she could figure out spread all over the rest of it. Pens and pencils, markers, a sharpie, all scattered on the desk even though he had a papier-mâché covered pencil holder that looked like a child had made it in school. His child, perhaps? She wasn't sure. There weren't any pictures, not of a significant other, no partner, no children…no friends, even. There was nothing. A google search hadn't given her anything, either.
His computer's screensaver was the usual screensaver of a blue square bouncing around on a black background.
His mousepad was the same one Microsoft used to give away with new computer monitors back in the early nineties.
"You discover anything about me?"
She just barely managed to keep from jumping, and she turned to regard the tall detective standing a few feet behind her with a small cup of coffee in his hand. Even the mug was a black, nondescript mug with yellow letters spelling out "LAPD" on it. God, this guy was a snoozefest. She wondered if anyone in his department even knew anything at all about his private life.
"Just that you're not very organized."
He scowled at her, looking down at his desk, and she knew now this had to be Detective John Casey. He was tall, built like a tank, and very clearly grumpy. "Ain't nothin' wrong with my organization. I know where everything is."
She smirked at him, earning a thoughtful grunt. Then he nodded once and closed the rest of the distance. She turned to face him and took the hand he offered her.
"You're Sarah Walker, then?"
"I'm Sarah Walker, yes. Detective Casey?"
His answer was another grunt as he let go of her hand and walked around to the other side of his desk, setting his coffee down on one of the documents he had strewn about. She held back the urge to cringe. There'd be a ring on that, no doubt. Ugh…
"You want coffee or water or anythin'?"
"Uh, how's your precinct's coffee?" she asked, gesturing to his mug.
He gestured to the chair she stood next to. "Have a seat. And I dunno. This ain't coffee. It's herbal tea."
Chuck was going to laugh so hard when she told him the tall grump who'd insulted him the other day was an herbal tea man. He'd probably wonder aloud if Casey did yoga, too. Or if he had a zen garden. There was nothing wrong with tea, but she couldn't stop the image of this guy wearing a monocle and stirring his tea with a tiny spoon from popping into her mind. She'd give Chuck that one and it would cheer him up significantly.
She made sure not to let her inner smirk get out, instead clearing her throat and crossing one leg over the other, her hands folded in her lap. "No, I'm all right. Thank you for the offer."
With a nod, he scooted his roller chair closer to his desk and took one long sip from his mug, wincing a bit as though it was too hot. "So Miss Walker, I'll get right down to business. You worked the Derlick case three years ago."
"I did."
"You were lead on that case?"
"No, Detective Shaw—Daniel Shaw—was lead on that case. I worked under him."
Casey curled his lip a bit. "I was informed that you were the lead."
"I'm afraid not." Sarah leaned forward a bit, furrowing her brow. "I was second-in-command. Who informed you that I was lead?"
"The director. Langston Graham." Sarah widened her eyes. "That's what he told me in his email, at least. He referred me to you, said you were lead on the Derlick case. Why'd he say that if it wasn't true?" Sarah wasn't sure, and she was a bit taken aback by it, as well. When she didn't say anything, he grumbled out a surly, "Sure as hell don't like the idea of havin' to get into contact with that upstart bag of gas, Shaw." He cursed under his breath.
"I'm sorry?" She scooted forward in her chair. "What did you call him?"
He just shook his head.
"I heard you call Detective Shaw an upstart bag of gas. I just want to make sure I heard properly, that's all." She knew she'd heard properly, and the laugh sat at the bottom of her throat…
"Look, it ain't that I have a problem with Pinkerton. That agency does good work, even if it isn't always…" He grunted instead of finishing his sentence, perhaps deciding not to go there. "But that guy and his shit-eating grin. Hate havin' to pass cases to him. Had to do it in Brooklyn, had to do it in Detroit, and I sure as shit don't much like the idea of havin' to talk to him again here in L.A."
Sarah held her hands up. "Listen, Detective Casey, I had to work with that asshole for too many years. I had to do what he told me whenever he was given lead on cases I was assigned to. You have no idea just how bad he is. Call him whatever the hell you want. I'll pop popcorn, sit back, and listen with pure joy in my heart. The worse the names, the better."
Detective Casey narrowed his eyes at her for a moment, then smirked a little. "You say you were second-in-command on Derlick's case?"
"I was."
"That's good enough for me. And I'm starting to think maybe Graham was purposely trying to put a damper on my case, the bastard, sending me to someone who doesn't even work for him, pretending like I was gonna get something off you." He scowled.
She huffed and shook her head. "Listen, Detective. I don't want you to think I can offer you anything but whatever still sits in my memory. I have no access to the case files. I left Pinkerton well over a year ago, and not on the best terms. I highly doubt I can give you anything you need."
The man grunted, then shrugged. "Graham told me you weren't with Pinkerton anymore. I left it at that. Because I don't need files. There was one thing you left off the reports, however, someone's name. And by my understanding, it was purposeful. I don't need to know the circumstances there, I really don't." He shook his head. "But I need to know that name. If you can remember. The case concluded in San Ysidro, didn't it?"
"It did."
"And you found that Derlick's cousin had set up the robbery and the attack. Funny business attached to their grandmother's will."
She nodded. "Yes, that was the gist of it."
"Someone was struck off of that will before Old Lady Derlick died. They weren't involved in the robbery or the attack, so they didn't end up in the case files…and trust me, I get that. But Graham was cagey about it, and I need you not to be."
"Why?" she asked, leaning an elbow on his desk and propping her chin on her fist.
"I think that person has landed in Los Angeles and is involved in one of my cases. I can't go into detail, but I need that name."
"Does Graham know you're asking me about this?"
"Nope. He doesn't need to."
"There's a good chance I get into some trouble if he finds out I've given away information on a case without Pinkerton approval."
"Listen, lady…" He cleared his throat at the severe look she gave him. "Sorry. Miss Walker. You don't owe 'em anything. You don't work for 'em anymore. Somebody's been murdered. She had her whole future ahead of 'er. And by giving me that name, you could be helping me to find out who murdered her."
"You think this person is the murderer?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Nah. But they can help us. They used to be closely aligned with Derlick then up and disappeared. If the name you give me matches what I think it'll be, it gives me enough reason to keep investigating them. Otherwise…" He huffed in frustration, looking reluctant to admit it, but doing it anyway. "Otherwise, I'm up shit creek. Leads dried up."
Sarah looked at him for a long moment. She was good at reading people. This was a good cop, a good detective. She could tell that, in spite of the surly exterior, the matter of fact way he talked to her about the case, he was pissed that this woman's life was cut short, and he was determined to find the culprit and bring them to justice. He looked like he had a lot of pride, a lot of machismo even. But he cared about this. She imagined he cared about all of his cases.
So she reached down and grabbed her briefcase, lifting it up and setting it on the only corner of his desk that wasn't covered in crap.
He just blinked and watched in confusion as she unzipped the briefcase and pulled her laptop out, moving the bag back onto the floor and setting her laptop on the desk, opening it.
"What are you doing?" he finally asked.
She held up a finger for him to wait, clicking around through her files and documents on her laptop. Finally, she shifted her blue eyes to his, meeting them steadily. "Graham doesn't know you got any of this from me…" He didn't respond, just narrowing his eyes a little. "Right?"
The corner of his mouth tilted up and he nodded. "Mum's the word. So to speak."
"Good. I kept copies of some of the Pinkerton files on my laptop…by accident, honestly. I left the company so fast, and they were glad enough to get rid of me, that they didn't even think to check on what I did and didn't take. The agency is less strict about what does and doesn't leave the agency, since most of what we did was on site, wherever the case was, all over the world. So a lot of what I had on my official Pinkerton computer also ended up on my laptop." She sent him a bit of a smug look. "Woops."
He chuckled. "Well, that's out of my jurisdiction. Nothin' I can do about that."
Sarah beamed and turned the laptop to face him. "Miriam Bethke," she said, quietly, scooting her laptop closer to him, then standing up and leaning over the desk to look at the screen with him. "And here's all of her information. I kept tabs because it didn't sit well with me that we were essentially ordered to strike her name from everything, along with a few of the other people who were involved with the Derlicks. If you want this file, take it."
But the detective already had a flash drive in his hand and was inserting it into her laptop. "I'll tell you what," he said, moving the entire Bethke file onto his flash drive. "Graham isn't even gonna know I was able to find you at all."
"That sounds good to me," she chirped, watching as Detective Casey removed the flash drive from her laptop and shut it, handing it back to her. She took it with a smile. "Was there anything else you needed, Detective?"
"No, you were more than helpful, Miss Walker. Uh…ahem…P.I." Then he stopped and gave her a suspicious look. "Hold on a tick. You got a license for what you're doin', don't ya? You need a license to be a private dick here."
Sarah just smirked and went into the inner pocket of her blazer, flashing her credentials at him. Then she took a business card out and slid it across his desk towards him…oh so slowly. "If you ever need my assistance again, Detective Casey, I do good work. And I do it very quietly. I'm not above working with law enforcement, either."
He let out an amused grunt, then picked up her card, glancing at it. "Well. If I need a sparkplug P.I. I'll let ya know, but don't hold your breath, Miss Walker."
"My schedule's full, so trust me. I won't. Have a lovely weekend, Detective."
She slid her laptop into her briefcase, zipped it up, and walked away. She thought she heard a quiet, "Heh heh" behind her, and she wasn't sure if it was respect or mockery. She decided on respect and pressed the button to call the elevator.
It wasn't until she slid into her car in the parking lot and started the engine that she murmured a satisfied, "And fuck you, too, Pinkerton."
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
As he looked down at the paperwork Adisa left for him to read and sign, document after document after document, with so many damn words and provisos and blah blah blah blah… Chuck Bartowski thought he might legitimately go cross-eyed.
And not for the first time, he was incredibly grateful he had an assistant he could trust to wade through the bureaucracy and paperwork so that Chuck could focus on the gears and pipes of the business, as his father said. The gears and pipes were his wheelhouse.
But he was tired and it was a Friday and he just wanted to get out of here.
Suddenly the door to Adisa's front office opened. He welcomed whoever it was with opened arms, looking for any excuse to get his eyes the hell off of these repetitive words, and as he looked up, the sentiment increased tenfold.
Sarah was peeking her head around the door, a small smile on her face. She frowned immediately then as she saw him, and she walked all the way inside, taking a moment to look out and down the hallway once more, obviously confused to find him there instead of his assistant, before she shut the door behind her.
"You are definitely not Adisa Obafemi," she said. "But you're sitting at his desk."
"I'm a handsomer alternative, right? That's what you're hinting at, isn't it?" he teased.
She made a doubtful sound. "I dunno. I think Adisa is pretty handsome." He pouted a little and she bit back a smirk. "Don't worry, he's a little too young for me and isn't really my type."
"Oh? What is your type?" He expected some long-winded, sweet, teasing description of him.
"A guy who is…" She pursed her lips thoughtfully. "Rich." He just barely held in a bark of laughter. "Like, super rich."
"Is that a hint that I should be paying Adisa better?"
This time she laughed, and he felt like that was a win in this little flirtatious banter battle she'd started with him. "Why are you sitting at his desk? Really."
"Believe it or not, I bought him a chair that's way more comfortable than mine. Quite by accident." He gave her a teasing, closed-mouth smile.
"You sit at his desk instead of your own often?"
"It's the chair; I'm tellin' ya." He laughed, then, gesturing at the paperwork. "He was breaking his back getting this paperwork all sorted for me today, giving it some semblance of order so that I can at least somewhat understand what it is that I'm signing off on—bureaucratic bullshit, basically—so I let him go home for the weekend at lunch. You just missed him."
"Ah. Shame. I do miss him."
"Well, you two exchanged numbers so that you can plot and plan things behind my back, so feel free to text him about how much you miss him." He grinned, his tongue between his teeth, and she crossed the room to ruffle his hair. "He-Hey! Careful with the curls! Geez!" He tried to smooth them down but knew it was no use.
She giggled and shook her head. "Yeah, well…One of these days we're gonna plot you right out of this building and onto a vacation."
"I'm fine with that, as long as said vacation is with my favorite detective."
"Ohhhh, Chuck. Sweetie. I'm sorry to inform you Jessica Fletcher will not be available anytime soon."
Chuck burst into laughter and grabbed his girlfriend by her hand, pulling the giggling woman down to plop onto his lap. She gasped, rounding his neck with an arm quickly. Her briefcase in her other hand knocked him in the knee and he winced. Yep, that was her laptop. Definitely.
"The truth comes out. I'm into wily old ladies."
"I do like tea, and every so often I catch myself watching PBS. Does that count?"
"Yes."
They chuckled and he dove in to peck her on the lips, dropping a kiss just above the collar of her blazer.
"Chuck, we shouldn't do this in Adisa's chair. It's messed up." She set her briefcase down to lean against the desk and soon had both arms around him.
He gave her a put-upon sigh. "You're right. But since you're already here and so comfy, look at this crap I have to read through and sign," he said, reaching around her and picking up the page at the top.
Sarah made an intrigued face and plucked it from his hand, perusing the page. "Okay, yeah. This looks like a lot of legal bullshit that I honestly cannot understand. It's gibberish."
"Right? Good thing I've got a guy with a head that can make sense of this gibberish. He started law school, but quit due to money and now I'm reaping the benefits."
"You are. But also, I'd feel safer if Adisa were a lawyer."
"Me, too. That's why I told him I'd pay for him to finish his law degree, anywhere he wanted. But he hasn't taken me up on it yet." She gave him one of those soft looks of hers that let him know he'd done something right. It warmed him inside and out. "Hey…by the time I'm done with these, I might be cross-eyed. Think you'll still wanna date me if that's the case?" He crossed his eyes at her and earned a light slap on his shoulder.
"You idiot. You could…have some mobster throw acid on your face like that Two-Face guy in your comics and I still wouldn't go anywhere."
Chuck bit his bottom lip, feeling a bit of a tingle between his legs at that. It didn't help that she was currently sitting on his lap, her backside pressing down acutely against that specific area. He had to take a deep breath, and he had a sneaking suspicious Sarah was well aware of what he was going through. "Well. Hopefully I wouldn't go insane the way Dent does and terrorize Los Angeles."
She giggled. "I'll make sure of it. Anyway, if you ever tried that, I'd go full Bat-Detective. Like Batman but…a woman. Is there a Batgirl or something?"
He shivered, sliding his arms around her and hugging her a little closer. "There's a Batgirl and a Batwoman. Actually."
His imagination was running wild with the possibilities and she would probably think he was legitimately crazy if she had any inclination of just how turned on he was in that moment.
"Are you currently picturing me in a catsuit, Chuck Bartowski?" she practically purred.
Chuck winced and tilted his head. "Particularly a purple sparkly one with a yellow bat-wing cape," he said, his voice a little tight.
"You're way too easy," she breathed, shaking her head in awe.
She barely got the last word out, however, before he covered her mouth with his. He was crazy. He was a crazy big ol' nerd and he was dating the hottest woman on the planet who knew he was a crazy big ol' nerd and egged his appetite on purposefully. She was everything.
As they made out, hands grabbing, fists twisting in jackets and hair, Sarah let out a breathy whimper that honestly made Chuck feel like he might just go straight into cardiac arrest if he didn't pull away, put some distance between them.
He didn't pull away.
He pulled her even closer, if that was at all possible.
But then she did pull away, putting a hand on his chest, taking a deep breath. Her lips were a bit red, swollen, and he couldn't help the immature, macho voice in his head that said, proudly, I did that.
"Whoa, there. Down, nerd." She still beamed though, biting her lip. And then she climbed off of his lap and did put distance between them, backing into Adisa's desk and perching on the edge, tucking a strand of hair that escaped during their tussle back behind her ear. "You know, it's kind of satisfying knowing I've still got it."
God, he loved the cocky look on her face, that arched eyebrow and the smirk, the slight wrinkle of her nose.
"Oh, trust me. You've still got it. And then some."
She bit her lip, looking very pleased. "Yeah, well…anytime I start to think maybe I'm losing my touch, you don't let that thought get very far."
"I have no intention of starting today."
Chuck pushed up out of Adisa's chair so hard, it rolled back into the wall. He distantly heard the thump of it hitting, but didn't care about the potential dent in the wall as he pressed himself against her and kissed her again…Hard, this time.
He rounded her torso with his arms and gave her a bit of a bump with his hips so that she sat fully on top of the desk, on the documents Chuck had been toiling over not ten minutes earlier. He didn't give a rat's ass about them now as he leaned her back at an angle and dragged his lips down her jawbone. She rounded his waist with her legs and tucked her hands under his suit jacket, spreading her fingers over his button up at his lower back and then squeezing his muscles there.
And then she pulled one hand away and he felt a tug on his tie.
He was dying in thousands of different ways and he needed her so badly he was fit to burst.
Chuck managed to get the top of her blouse undone as he shifted and kissed her on the lips again, and when his hand dove in to tuck under the cup of her bra and squeeze her breast, she whimpered loudly.
That was the last straw. He pulled out of her bra and tucked both hands underneath her backside, hoisting her up into his arms so that he could carry her into his office where he could lock the door and they could finish what they'd started. Not that this would be the first time.
But as she giggled lustily and clung to him, he heard the jarring ring of his phone on Adisa's desk where he'd set it so that he could answer it if anyone called or texted—anything to get out of that damn paperwork.
His body tensed, and he felt Sarah tense similarly in his embrace. "Why didn't I put the fucking thing on silent?" he asked, breathless.
"Because you wanted someone to interrupt you because you hate reading documents," she panted back, grinning, pecking his lips a few times for good measure.
"I'm gonna…" He kissed her back. "I'm gonna just ignore it, though."
"Mmm," she hummed into his kiss, pulling back and nuzzling his nose. "Maybe it's important."
Chuck groaned.
"But you're the most important."
Sarah giggled. "Sweet. But it's been less than twenty-four hours since we had sex. I think you can take this phone call."
He groaned again and let her slip down, back to her feet, and then he dropped his arms to his sides and let his head slump forward onto her shoulder, making her chuckle.
"Chuck, answer the phone."
The tech guy gave her a pitiful, desperate look, then turned the same look to his phone, still ringing. "I'm still of the mind to go into the office with the door that locks and finish what we started. Can we just do that instead?"
"Or you answer the phone now and we finish what we started once you know what the person on the other side of the phone wants from you."
"Counterpoint: I lock myself in that office with you because I already know exactly what you want from me." He gave her a slow, sizzling kiss, then planted another one right below her ear, feeling that delicious shiver he'd anticipated go through her body. The air was still electric between them.
"As hot as that just was…" Then she stopped, turning to look at the phone. "Huh. Seems the phone stopped ringing."
He saw the sparkle in her eye and dove in to kiss her again, starting to pull her to his personal office as she laughed against his lips, pushing at his suit jacket to try to get it off of him…
The phone rang again.
"God damn it!" he yelled, groaning and letting his head fall back to blink a few times at the ceiling in abject misery.
Sarah just laughed and went to the phone. "It's Ellie. And the first one was her, too."
Chuck sighed and reached out for it. She put it in his hand and he answered, "Hey, sis. What's up?"
"Chuck, everything okay? I didn't interrupt a meeting or anything?"
Oh, she interrupted all right. She interrupted. He clenched his jaw. "No, no. Not at all. I had the sound to my phone off and missed your first call."
He winced at Sarah as she snorted quietly, rolling her eyes. Liar, the look she gave him seemed to say.
So he lied.
Sue him.
"Oh, okay. Well, I was just calling because I sort of have a big favor to ask."
Chuck didn't think twice as he said, "Anything. What do ya need?" Then he gasped. "Do I get to hang out with Claaaaaraaaa?"
Ellie giggled. "Actually, that was my question. Now that we're back in L.A., we have all of Devon's football buddies from UCLA asking us to go to cook-outs and reunions and…Well, with Clara being born, we've been so focused on her and shifts at the hospital…"
"So you and Devon want to go spend some time out of the apartment, away from the hospital, away from dirty diapers and feeding and, and, and, am I right?"
"Yes." There was a long pause. "Does that make me a terrible mom? Seriously. I'm asking seriously."
He chuckled and leaned against the doorjamb that led into his office. "Ellie, you're a mom, yes, but you're also human. Having a baby is hard-ass work. You've barely left your place except when you made the move from San Francisco back home, and through all of that moving, you had a newborn, late night feedings, cry-fits…You want a day with just your husband, not having to worry about any of that, hanging out with friends? I think you more than deserve to feel that way."
He smiled at Sarah and she smiled back.
"So that's a yes to babysitting Clara tomorrow? It'll probably only be a few hours, we'll be back around dinner."
"El, of course. Are you sure you want me to do it and not the parents?" Then he realized how that sounded and rushed out, "Not that I don't want to! I want to! If I could just hold her little pudgy body all day long, I totally would! I love her so much!"
His sister barked out a laugh. "Jesus, Chuck. I get it. You love your niece. You don't have to persuade me." She paused. "Thank you. This is so needed and you're the best brother ever."
"You didn't answer about Mom and Dad."
"…I didn't, did I?"
He chuckled. "Okay, I get it. What time do you want me at your place?"
"Ten? Is that too early?"
"Nope."
"God, I love you, Chuck. I owe you so bad."
"You owe me nothing at all." It was then that he realized Sarah was pointing to herself and gesturing for him to notice her. He furrowed his brow and saw her mouth, 'Can I come?' He felt that gooey warmth inside of him again. Like he always did when he remembered how attached to his niece Sarah was. "Oh, um, do you mind if Sarah is there?"
"Uh. I'd prefer it," came Ellie's flat voice.
"Hey!" He laughed at that, even know he knew she was teasing. She knew he was more than capable of taking care of her daughter. He'd done it a few times before, with and without Sarah's support.
"Doesn't she have a case right now, though?"
"Yeah, but…it's complicated. Kind of a long one. Not time sensitive."
Sarah sent him a look that said, What are you talking about? But he ignored it.
"Oh. Well, great! See you tomorrow? Devon is mouthing for me to tell you you're awesome."
"Tell him he's awesome!"
"I'm not going to start that again. Last time you two kept me on the phone with competing 'you're awesome' messages for an extra three minutes." She laughed. "See you tomorrow."
"Sounds good. Love ya, sis."
"Love you, too."
When he hung up, Sarah pursed her lips. "Are we babysitting tomorrow? I kinda put together the context from what you were saying."
"Oh, we're babysitting. You free from ten 'til…I dunno, whenever they're done?"
"Um, anytime I get to hang out with that freaking cute little baby, I'm free."
"Good." Something occurred to him then and he tilted his head, furrowing his brow at her. "Hey, we got so caught up in…us…ahem…Didn't you have that meeting with the LAPD Grump today?"
She sniffed in amusement. "Yeah. I did."
"Isn't he so mean? Was he mean to you, too?"
"He wasn't mean to me, no," she said with a short laugh. "He's definitely blunt, no-nonsense, macho, and has an ego."
"Right? God."
"But I kinda like 'im." She crossed her arms and looked thoughtful, still amused, he could tell.
"Huh?"
"I might be a little biased. He's come into contact with Daniel Shaw a few times over the years, it sounds like, and he said some really insulting things about him." The snicker that came out of her was almost evil and he enjoyed it a little too much, perhaps.
"Okay, well…Even though he was a total Rudy McRuderson to me the other day, if he has the sense to ask you for help and hate Daniel Shaw, he can't be all bad."
She made a little click sound with her tongue and teeth. "See, this is why I love you so much. You're the least judgmental guy I know." She paused. "Except with Daniel Shaw, who you've never met personally, but you still totally hate his guts and I love it."
"I don't usually hit people, as a rule, but I'd punch the shit out of that fucker in a heartbeat if I ever saw him."
"I probably shouldn't be as turned on by that as I am."
"It's residual turn-on-edness from earlier when we nearly boinked in my office. It's cool, I get it, me too." He sent her a cheesy grin.
"It's a testament to the power of your hotness that I'm not even a little turned off by the fact that you just described our love-making as 'boinking'."
He laughed. "I'm a walking talking dictionary, baby." He smoldered to underscore it. Then he sobered up a little. "Did you give Detective Grumpy Guy what he needed?"
"Yep. Might be a connection I can work in the future, too. You know, for cases and the like."
"That's exciting."
"Mhm. Can we please go into your office now? Honestly, this is getting ridiculous."
"Yyyyep."
They hurried inside, shutting and locking the door behind them.
It took a while for them to emerge again, the door opening slowly, Sarah backing out first, her hands still on the back of Chuck's neck, pulling him along with her as they kissed.
Chuck didn't just feel satisfied. He knew he looked it. And he wasn't entirely sure if he got his clothes back on in the right way. He felt tousled, and his hair…God, it was probably a mess.
Sarah's blouse was tucked in on one side and not the other, her bun was falling out over her shoulders, and God, she just looked like the cat who got the cream as she expertly slid her hands down and blindly tied his tie again, leaning in to kiss him some more.
Right when she leaned back to break the kiss, a goofy, teasing growl on the end of his tongue, the door to the outer office swept open and Stephen J. Bartowski stepped inside.
"Oh, good! Oh! Oh." He paused. "Well."
Chuck stepped back from Sarah, but her fist was still gripped tight around his tie and he made a soft choking sound, staggering forward, into her. She let go and smoothed her hands down her front. "Mr. Bartowski," she said, expertly flipping her hair back into its bun… and he had to give her credit, she sounded very professional. Considering how unprofessional she'd sounded about fifteen minutes earlier when she had him pinned to his desk chair.
His dad smirked and shut the door behind him, crossing his arms then reaching up to scratch the edge of one eyebrow, ducking his head and chuckling. "Don't worry, you two. You aren't in any trouble."
"Oh, God," Chuck breathed. He had a terrible feeling about this.
"Oh…Oh, no. We didn't…we were…" Sarah then stopped herself and looked down at how disheveled she looked, and she not-so-subtly stretched a foot out to scoot one of her pumps across the floor, behind Adisa's desk, out of his dad's view. It was comical. It was adorable. And if he wasn't mortified, he'd giggle at her for it.
"Stop it. I know exactly what this is. Listen, there's no shame. Truthfully, uh… Well, Chuck…Back when we were younger, your mother and I—"
"NOPE."
"Oh, my God," he heard Sarah murmur under her breath.
"Well, I'm just saying. When you're in love, it happens in the weirdest—"
"NOOO."
"—places."
"Get me out of here," Chuck whimpered.
"Why do you think my office has a lock on it? I put a lock on yours, too, I-I think. I mean not with this in mind, of course, but—"
"My insides are dying. I'm having a stroke."
Sarah elbowed him a little.
"Anyway!" his dad said.
"Thank God."
"—I wanted you to make sure to take it easy on those documents Adisa prepped for ya. Take 'em home. Take the weekend to get them signed, dated, and we'll send them to our lawyers on Monday. Go home early. Everyone is clearing out, so I think it'd be okay for the bosses to do the same, huh? Take that, uh, long weekend." He rubbed his hands together excitedly.
"Yep."
"Chuck. Kiddo. C'mon. Don't be like that," his dad chuckled. "You're not in middle school anymore." He sent a wink at Sarah and Chuck knew for a fact that he was enjoying the hell out of this.
"Oookay," Chuck drawled. "Bye, Dad. Have a good weekend, Dad."
"All right, all right." Stephen chuckled. "Sarah, nice to see you. Don't be a stranger." Then he stopped and made a face. "I didn't mean it like—That wasn't—"
"Nope. NOPE." Chuck put his hands on either side of his head, applying pressure. Maybe he could squeeze hard enough that his brain forgot this whole conversation happened.
"You get what I mean," his dad said.
"I, um…do," Sarah said, quietly, her face significantly more pained than he'd seen it in a while.
His dad just laughed, shaking his head and ducking out of the office. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do, kids!" they heard, right before the door shut.
There was silence for a few moments.
"Well, at least that happened after we already did…the sex."
Chuck gave her an anguished look. "Oh, God," he whimpered, dropping his chin to his chest. "Oh my God, this ruined my whole life."
She chuckled and wrapped her hands around his arm. "Come on, I'll help you pack up to go home."
"I never knew about the lock," he whimpered again. "The lock…"
Her giggle was at least some comfort as she pulled him back into his office to gather his things.
XOXOXOXOXOXO
Ellie Bartowski Woodcomb was stressed.
He could see it the moment she answered her door.
"Hi," she rushed out. "Um, thanks again. I…I'm running a little bit late."
She left the door wide open and just walked away from it altogether as Chuck stepped inside of the large, spacious apartment she and Awesome had moved into a few weeks ago, new parents, with new jobs at a new hospital. Her stress levels had been concerning, to the point where Awesome had taken Chuck aside not knowing what to do about it. And Devon Woodcomb was not typically the guy who didn't know what to do, where Ellie was concerned especially.
Chuck could see that today was no different. She was frazzled, rushing over to pick Clara up and rock her as she screamed and cried.
"No, baby. I know. I know you're upset," she said. "I hear you."
"Oh nooo. What's wrong with my best friend in the whole wide world?" Chuck asked, shutting the door behind him and hurrying over to his sister's side.
"Don't let Morgan hear you say that."
"Are you kidding me? He'd say the same thing about her. He's so in love with this kid, he's stopped bothering you about maybe ditching the 'bag of muscles' and dating him."
"Yet another reason to adore my little Clara. Oh, sweetheart, please, please stop crying. It's making it very hard for mommy to leave and have fun," she said pitifully. "Please."
"Clara, what happened? Tell your favorite uncle."
"Not sleeping too well at night."
Chuck blinked at the baby. "Clara, your voice has suddenly gotten really deep and manly."
Devon laughed and came up behind him, giving his brother-in-law a one armed hug from behind, squeezing him and kissing the side of his face. Chuck made a face at Ellie and got a shrug.
"Good one, bro. And thanks for doin' this. Babe, we really gotta get outta here if we're gonna get there even, like, fifteen minutes late."
Chuck sniffed in amusement. Devon was into kisses with his hugs now. He assumed Clara's entrance into this world had a lot to do with it. He kissed that little girl so much it had overflowed into his greetings with everyone else. Even Mary Bartowski had been getting head kisses, much to her chagrin. Chuck just hoped Devon was able to keep from doing it to his patients. Because that'd be grounds for a lawsuit…
"We're new parents, they'll understand," Ellie said, clutching her daughter tightly and looking down into the anguished but still beautiful face. "C'mon, Clara, Uncle Chuck is here. Your favorite guy."
"Hey!" Devon exclaimed from across the room as he shrugged his jacket on.
"Your second favorite guy. Woops." She made a face at Clara, like they were sharing an inside joke.
"All right, El. Give me the little Grumpy Gussina and I'll take care of her."
Ellie made a whining sound, holding Clara even tighter to her. "I don't want to go."
And there it was.
Chuck and Devon exchanged a look.
"Don't do that. Don't do the man-look across the room at each other. I'm the one who carried her for nine months. I'm the one who pushed her out of my cervix…"
"Wow, okay," Devon muttered.
"…so don't you dare look at each other with that 'Ellie's crazy' look. I'm perfectly fine. I just miss my daughter if I'm away from her. That's all. It's difficult to leave."
"I'm gonna miss her, too," Devon said, sneaking in close and wrapping his arms around both of his women. "But we have plans today. And I gotta be honest with you, wife o' mine, it's getting to the point where I might go insane if we don't separate ourselves from this apartment and/or that hospital. Seriously, baby mama, I'm gonna snap. We need this."
She huffed, rolling her eyes. And then she bounced Clara a little in her arms, rocking her. "You're right. I know you're right. And we're going. We're going. It's just…hard."
"Hey, you can call or text anytime, El. I've got my phone."
"Yeah, I can, can't I?"
"See?" Devon said, shrugging and grinning in that Captain Awesome way. "Bro, seriously. You're so awesome. This means a lot." He mouthed, 'We are going crazy', at Chuck where Ellie couldn't see him, still cooing at her daughter, trying to calm the fussy baby down.
Chuck widened his eyes at him and nodded.
"Here, give 'er to me, El. Get ready to go."
"Babe, seriously. Give our daughter to her uncle. We need to get outta here. Traffic might be bad."
"Traffic's always bad. We live in L.A."
"She has a point," Chuck said. "Hand over Her Highness the Fusspot. Uncle Chuck will get her to stop crying. Trust the nerd." He made grabby hands.
"Well…" Then Ellie's eyes got big as she took a step back. "Hey, where's Sarah? We can't leave without Sarah being here, Devon. I have to talk to her. She needs to be here before we leave."
Devon groaned.
Ellie had found another way to procrastinate.
"She's working on something for her case this morning, but she is meeting me here. She should be here soon, though, and you can talk to her when you get ba—" Chuck started, but then there was a staccato knock on the door and Devon looked mightily pleased. "Oh, there she is."
Captain Awesome swept the door open. "Hey, look who's here! It's Sarah! Let's go, Ellie!"
"Damn it, Sarah! Great timing, Sarah!" Ellie groused.
Sarah just stood in the hallway, wide-eyed, her gaze flitting back and forth between the Awesomes.
"Uh…hi?" She muttered, "What is happening?" at Chuck as he took pity on her and pulled her into the apartment, shutting the door behind her.
"Good morning," he chirped, kissing her cheek. "Ellie's having a really hard time letting go this morning and she thought she could use you not being here yet to put off leaving Clara. But you're ever the prompt one, so…no cigar."
"Sarah, I'm sorry." Ellie pushed in between them, having finally relinquished Clara to her husband who was now taking a stab at calming their daughter down. She hugged the younger woman with a hard squeeze. "I'm a little, uh, tightly wound."
"A little?"
Devon winced, perhaps realizing he should've kept his mouth shut there, and he mouthed, 'Sorry', when his wife glared at him.
"It's okay, Ellie. It's the new mom thing. Separation anxiety. Or…whatever. I have no knowledge whatsoever of new mom psychology."
"Oh? Well, I read up on it to prepare for having Clara and it helped me not at all, so…" Ellie shrugged and laughed, a bit forced, if Chuck was any judge.
Chuck stepped away from the women then and reached out for his niece. "Here, Captain Awesome, let me see her."
The blonde willingly passed the crying baby over to her uncle and Chuck cradled her carefully, fixing her yellow ducky blanket so that she was wrapped up even tighter. "Hey, little yellow burrito. Look at my doofy face."
He pulled a face and Clara stopped crying immediately, blinking up at him.
"What. In. The. Hell?" Awesome murmured.
"It's not adoration, trust me. She's just confused," Chuck said, making another face.
Clara blinked again.
"Aren't you a little confused girl? Yes, you are," he said, making his voice higher. "I just confused the crap outta you, huh?" This time after she blinked, she let out a little bubbly giggle. "How are you this cute?" he asked through gritted teeth. "I just wanna bite your cheeks. Gah!"
"I get the urge, bro, but don't do it. I tried to do it last night and she definitely didn't like it."
"You tried to bite our daughter?" Ellie asked.
"Babe. Her cheeks," he responded, like that answered everything.
Sarah sidled up next to Chuck, then, wrapping an arm around him and letting Clara latch onto the finger of her other hand. "Your hand is so little, I can't even stand it."
"Isn't she the cutest little? And yes, I did just make little into a noun. She's a little now."
"See, El? Clara's in good hands. The best hands. Let's go. We're gonna be really late."
"You're new parents. I'm sure they'll understand," Sarah said distractedly, beaming down at Clara.
Ellie marched up to Sarah and wrapped her arms around her, squeezing her tightly. "That's exactly what I said. I love you, Sarah."
"I love you, too," the blonde said, giggling.
"Chuck, give your niece to her au—" His sister just barely caught herself. "Honorary auntie." It was a good catch, but everyone knew what she'd just almost said, and the implications of it. …The permanence of it.
Thanks a lot, Ellie.
Chuck tried to ignore the awkward look on Sarah's face as she took Clara from him. "Don't get too comfy there, Sarah, because I'm taking her right back after I get my orders."
"Nuh uh!" she shot back. "Pry her from my cold dead arms."
Ellie giggled and dragged Chuck to the fridge. "Her bottles are in here. There's enough for today and tomorrow. Just make sure it's warm but not too warm, okay? Don't burn my firstborn's mouth."
"El, I'm not going to burn my niece."
"Well, you don't know unless you test it first. That's all I'm saying. Put it on your hand first, right here between—"
"Ellie, I've babysat numerous times. I've got all this down."
"Fine! But make sure she naps. I know how much you want to just play with her and make faces, but she needs to sleep, too."
"Okay," he chuckled, shutting the fridge and grabbing her shoulders, forcing her towards the door. "Go have fun."
"Her diapers are—"
"I know where her diapers are."
"Yeah, but—"
"Ellie." Sarah was there, then, passing Clara off to Chuck again. She'd managed to get Clara to not just stop crying and fussing, but the baby's eyes were even drooping a little. How had she done this? Was she magic? He wouldn't put it past Sarah Walker, P.I. to also be magic on top of everything else.
She took Ellie by her shoulders and looked her in the eye. "You've been working so hard. You had to move really soon after having a baby. You're dealing with that still, weeks later, on top of having a two month old baby, on top of taking shifts at the hospital. You need today, Ellie. Awes—Er, Devon. Devon needs today."
Good catch, Sarah…
"We really need today," Devon agreed, nodding emphatically.
"All you have to worry about for the rest of the day is enjoying yourself, which isn't a worry at all, is it?"
"No," Ellie agreed, her shoulders slumping.
"You don't have to change diapers. You don't have to feed Clara. You don't have to sprint around the house making sure everything is where it's supposed to go. You don't have to be at the hospital. You don't have to leave the house with the huge mommy bag you're always carrying around or worry about the carseat. You don't have to deal with any of that. You get to just hang out with people you like, eat food, drink whatever the fuck you wanna drink. Shit, sorry," she winced, glancing over at Clara who was alert again. Damn it.
"Oh." Ellie snorted. "Don't worry. She has no idea. Watch this." She moved her face close to Clara's and said in a happy high-pitched voice, "Shit fuck fuck shit fuck."
Clara giggled.
Ellie straightened and shrugged.
Sarah cracked up and Chuck just shook his head. "I'm just appalled at you, Ellie," he said. He wasn't appalled in the slightest, and he chuckled, still shaking his head.
"I swear, I'm about to throw you over my shoulder and carry you out to the car. We need to go," Awesome said, already at the door.
"Ugh, fine." She rolled her eyes and leaned down to kiss Clara on the forehead. "Be good for Chuck and Sarah, okay? Be the best girl."
Clara gurgled in response.
"I know, I know I don't have to say it but I do it for appearances anyway. Get used to it." She poked her daughter's belly button to make her laugh. She must've noticed the way everyone was looking at her. "I speak my daughter's language. Don't any of you judge me."
It took another five minutes but Ellie finally ended up being forcibly dragged out of the apartment by her husband, leaving Chuck and Sarah alone with the baby.
Sarah just laughed and shook her head. "Wow."
"Yeeeeeah, Ellie's a bit much but I can't blame her. She's been with Clara nonstop since she gave birth to her, with only a few hours here and there that she's spent away for short shifts at the hospital in the last week since she started at Westside. It's a new mom thing I think."
"Oh, no. I don't blame her, either. But also give me that baby right now."
He chuckled and shook his head. "Nah. Nope. You gave her to me and she's mine now."
"That's total bullshit, Chuck. I gave her to you so that I could stop your sister from having a mental breakdown about leaving for their barbecue."
Chuck groaned. She was right. She'd done it for his sister. "You're just lucky I love you and that I think it's insanely precious that you like my niece this much."
He went and sat on the couch with Clara, Sarah following to squish in right next to him, and then he handed her off to his girlfriend's secure embrace.
"I straight-up love her, I think, full disclosure," Sarah said, cradling Clara close. She kicked her pumps off, then, and put her feet up on the coffee table, curling her toes that made little popping sounds, and melting back into the cushions. "Mmmmmm, it's so good to be sitting down."
"Rough morning?"
"Not rough, per se, just a lot of running in circles and it ended up amounting to nothing."
"Burgess send you on a wild goose chase, then?" he asked, snuggling in next to her and reaching down to fix the cowlick in his niece's darkening hair. He frowned. "Hey, is it just me, or was her hair a lot blonder when she was first born? Is it getting darker?"
"Um…maybe?"
"Maybe it's the lighting. Anyway, you were saying…?"
She giggled and shrugged a bit, leaning some of her weight against his chest. "I think Burgess is trying to do some detecting of his own and his so-called tips he keeps sending me to explore are just…tripping me up."
"Can you sit him down and talk to him about it?"
"I don't really know how to do that without offending the guy who's signing his name to my paycheck."
"Sarah, come on. He's conflicting with your investigation. He hired you to solve this. He needs to let you do your job. He needs to back off and give you the time and space to uncover the truth in your own way. Which, in my humble opinion, is the right way. You know what you're doing." He lifted his arm and wrapped it around her, tugging her close. And then he reached down to let Clara wrap her tiny pudgy fist around his pinky.
"Yeah. You're right. I just have to tell him. I don't want him to fire me. That's all."
"Did I fire you when you tanned my hide?"
She sniffed in amusement. "Chuck, you're not exactly like most people. You readily admit when you make mistakes, when you're wrong. And you're pretty good at taking criticism. And from women. That's not exactly something a lot of men are good at."
He shrugged. "Maybe Clive Burgess will surprise you. Listen. Worst comes to worst, if it offends him, just apologize and figure out a way to do what helps the case. Ignore his bad tips unless you actually think it might be helpful. It sucks, but I think you can manage the balance…You know, doing all of that without him realizing he's being ignored."
"So…play him like a fiddle, you're saying."
"Yeah. I guess so."
"That's actually stellar advice, Chuck. Thank you." She craned her neck and pursed her lips so that he could lean down and kiss her.
That was when Clara began to get fussy again. Her face got all wrinkled and red, her little hands balled up into fists, and the angry little sounds came from her mouth.
"Uh oh. Ohhh, no, here she goes," Sarah said. "Do I rock her?"
"Ummm…try that."
Sarah sat up straight and started to bounce her in her arms gently. "Shhh shhh…it's okay, Clara." She gave Chuck a helpless look.
In the past two months since his niece was born, he and Sarah had only spent alone time with her here and there. Clara had slept through most of their babysitting adventures prior to this. And if she hadn't been sleeping, she'd been eating instead. The most he'd looked after her was the time Devon was at work and Ellie went to a post-birth check-up for two hours.
And today would be more like eight hours.
At least Sarah was here.
Though she seemed out of her depth. Definitely out of her depth.
Oh, shit …
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Author's Note: "Oh, shit" is right. I'm a new auntie now and I'm about to go full-blown Chuck with Clara on that little champion of cuteness next time I get to visit her. But also ... oh, shit a baby. Lol! Listen, next part is coming soon! Thanks for reading, and really, reviews do make such a difference. I've started writing immediately upon reading reviews before. Turned off the netflix binge and started writing. It means more to us fic writers than some of us are willing to admit to see that in our inbox. So thanks!
-SC