The Detective and the Tech Guy
Author: Steampunk . Chuckster
Rating: T
Summary: A case of mistaken identity and murder brings Sarah Walker, Pinkerton agent, to sunny California. Protecting the heir to the Bartowski Electronics Corporation should be just business - but Chuck Bartowski fills out a suit nicely and makes a mean martini. Chuck lobbied to hire the Pinkerton Agency, but had no idea the detective they'd send would be as alluring, intelligent and fascinating as Sarah Walker. Will the detective and the tech guy solve the mystery, distracted by the riddle in their own hearts? An homage to The Thin Man movies.
Disclaimer: No money is being made from this story. I don't own Chuck or The Thin Man series.
Author's Note: Last part of "The Detective and the Rift" is here! I needed a vacation so I took one. But I'm back and I hope you enjoy this last part of the arc. Much more DATG on the horizon. Enjoy!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
The silence was finally broken by his mom sighing heavily. He glanced up to watch as she pinched the bridge of her nose. "I'm getting a headache," she murmured. "I need some aspirin, and then I'm eating some of these damn sandwiches I made, since nobody else seems to want them."
She stood up and left the room, leaving Chuck alone with his sister.
He blinked and stared straight ahead, not sure what to think or what to do, and it was right when he looked down at his phone to read Sarah's "On my way" text that he felt the pillow smack him right in the back of his head.
"O-Ow! What—?" He looked up in consternation as Ellie calmly sat there with the chair pillow in her lap, as if she hadn't just whacked him in the head with it. "Why'd you do that?"
"Seriously? Chuck, you need to open your eyes. Wake up." She shoved the pillow between her back and the chair again and leaned forward, her elbows on her knees. "I didn't realize just how much like the parents you'd gotten until now, but you better snap the fuck out of it."
He frowned, his brow furrowed. "Like…like them?" He felt the heat of anger rise in his chest at what she'd just intimated. "Ellie, I am not like them."
"Oh, really? Could'a fooled me."
"The hell are you talking about?"
Ellie sighed and moved to sit next to him on the couch, putting her hand on his knee. "Chuck, you're a good person. So are Mom and Dad. But the company becoming so successful and in a relatively quick span of time has sort of…thrust this family into this weird cloud of uber-privilege."
"I know that. I know my privilege."
"Do you? Chuck…Honey, I love you. You're my little brother and best friend in the whole world." She moved her hand to his bicep and squeezed, making warmth spill through him in spite of the conversation they were having. The anger had ebbed as he forced himself to just listen. "And I want you to be happy. You deserve to be happy. You deserve Sarah…but sometimes you really don't. I know how mean that sounds, but you need to learn some things that are glaringly obvious to me, and apparently not to you. Maybe because I'm outside of it, you know? And therefore better able to observe you two."
"Wait, wait…hold on. I know I don't deserve her. She's the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. You think I don't know that? I know I've screwed up here. I needed to be the one to step up and defend her instead of you doing it," he said. "I know that."
She smiled a little and shook her head. "I know you know that. That isn't what I mean. You want to keep this girl around, you need to understand something. I think you do understand it to a certain degree, but I just want to make sure it gets through that head of yours." She poked the side of his head affectionately. "Sarah Walker is more than just your girlfriend. She's more than just a P.I." He frowned at his sister. He knew that. Of course he knew that. "She's both of those things, yes, but she's also just a person. On her own. Her own career, her own thoughts, goals, her own ideas about the way things should be. Her own path and history that got her here. Just like all of us."
"Of course I know that, Ellie. Come on."
"You know that up here, but what about in here?" She poked his head again, then his chest, and he pushed her hand away with a frustrated look. "Chuck, all of this keeping up appearances shit that the parents are playing into is a bunch of fucked up, weird, bourgeoisie, fake rich-people stuff and I was genuinely upset to see you just let them push that onto you without you pushing back."
"I pushed back! I don't care about keeping up appearances."
"Did you say that to Sarah? Or just here after you heard me push back against their bullshit? Because if you said similar stuff to what they were saying, about how her being involved in the investigation 'looks bad for us', you'd better undo the hell out of that. She doesn't deserve that. This family shouldn't be playing into that shit, and I'll be damned if I let Sarah get caught up in the nonsense too. She isn't just your girlfriend, she's also my friend. She's a good person and she doesn't deserve to be made to feel bad about this."
Chuck stared at her for a while as he let her words settle. He was hit by a sinking feeling. And he breathed, "I did say that the other night. That it looked bad. Shit. I mean, it was right after Dad called to tell me and I found out she'd been involved in the investigation and didn't say anything to me about it, and I was really rattled, but that's no excuse."
Ellie shut her eyes tiredly and sighed, before giving him a look. "Nope. It really isn't. Did you ever stop to think that maybe the cases she works on aren't your business? You aren't her partner in the agency. You aren't her boss. You're there for her when she comes to you outside of her work, and you're there for her if she ever brings any of that work to your door, but if she chooses not to do that, it's her God damn right. She isn't beholden to you, Chuck, and she isn't beholden to this family." Ellie shook her head. "That 'if you wanna be on the team, play by the rules' crap Mom said was just…ugh."
Ellie clenched her jaw.
Chuck just turned to face forward and sighed. "I think I've been in a bit of a daze through all of this, El. I mean, not just with Sarah, but with…with the company and Ed being a murderer, the fact that Dad gave him money for his city council bid. And the whole time the guy was sitting on a murder. And it's made me…not see clearly. I didn't handle it at all well. I know. But sitting here with them explaining things, it…I don't know, it got under my skin."
"Because they are manipulative," Ellie said. "But they've also bought into this stupid society's expectations on what they should be, what this family should be, how their company should operate. Credit to you and Dad for always operating on the up and up when it comes to B.E.C., of course. In that way, I'll always be proud of you guys. I know that isn't something I ever have to worry about with you. But worrying about whether or not people are going to trust us after this? Admit it, you were worried about it, too, weren't you?" Chuck shut his eyes tight, his body tensing. "It's okay, Chuck. This shit's hard."
"Yeah, I thought about it," he admitted. "I kept thinking I really don't want people to think I'm gonna be out here sicking my detective girlfriend on people's skeletons in their closets." He held up a hand to stop her from interrupting. "I know it's bad. And I know this is more than just a skeleton. If Ed was paying for sex, I don't give a fuck, but he murdered an innocent woman over blackmail and all the finances stuff with the FBI, too, but mostly he took someone's life."
"Yeah…and he did it to protect his own career. That's the kind of thing that happens in these circles our parents are so worried about being able to stay in."
"You have me convinced, El, but I don't know that we can get our parents to see Sarah as more than just their son's girlfriend. Mom, especially, is gonna expect her to play by a certain set of rules."
"Then Mom, especially, can just fucking deal with it when Sarah doesn't play by her rules."
"We shouldn't be playing by that set of rules, either. All of us. You're freaking right." He shook his head. She was right about Sarah, too. And he felt guilt spilling through him as he came to the realization that he'd been in the wrong state of mind with his relationship this whole time, without even knowing. His gut reaction to finding out Sarah had investigated Ed Pasfield without telling him was to worry about the Bartowski reputation. His girlfriend had helped put their lawyer behind bars. And God, that would really wreck the way business associates would look at him, at his family. That was his gut reaction. And while, yeah, that was how this world worked, while that was something people with this much power and visibility had to worry about, he didn't want his family to fall into the trap. He wanted the Bartowskis to be better. They could be better. They should.
Ellie was right.
And he thought maybe the fact that she had some separation, living in San Francisco all those years with Awesome, the two of them with their own careers as surgeons, not being involved in the business or in the society he and his parents had folded themselves into…maybe it had kept her grounded. Maybe that was why it was all so much clearer to her: what was happening, what he'd done to Sarah.
This strange new world he lived in now had sucked him in so completely that he didn't even see the full extent of his privilege. Maybe he never would.
But he saw enough of it now to be able to rectify some of it.
Chuck lifted his arm and wrapped it around Ellie, hugging her to his side and kissing her temple. "Thank you for smacking me upside the head when I need it, Ellie. Seriously. I can't let Sarah be relegated into a box that Mom's taken a Sharpie to and labeled 'Chuck Bartowski's girlfriend'."
"Detailed but apt metaphor," she said with a quiet giggle.
"I'm serious," he said, smiling at her. "I've been in a bad head space about my relationship. There's no reason why these rules or whatever need to apply to our family, but especially not to Sarah. And I feel like I keep stumbling and making mistakes with her." He let go of his sister and pushed his hands through his hair. "I'm terrible at this."
"You're actually really good at it, Chuck. But everyone makes mistakes in a relationship. I've made mistakes with Devon, and vice versa. Sarah's probably made mistakes too. The point is to learn when someone calls you out. Push aside the pride and ego, and learn."
He groaned a little. "Yeeeeah. But what if I keep making mistakes like this and it fucks this up?"
"Oh. Chuck. Honey." Ellie laughed, ruffling his hair. "I'm not saying you should go around being a dick and kicking shit over like your relationship is invincible or something, but there is no damn way Sarah is letting you go. All I'm saying is…try to do better."
He snorted. "Kicking shit over?"
"Whatever, you know what I mean." She half-shoved him.
Chuckling, he nodded. Then he sobered up a bit. "I need to undo some things. I'm pretty sure Sarah thinks she was in the wrong."
"Yeah, um, undo that. Please. I'll do it if you don't…even if it might not be my business." He gave her a look. "Yeah, yeah. None of this is really my business," she drawled, smirking. "But there's no way I'm letting her take the shit for this. She did her job. Sonia Zaoui deserved a good detective in her corner. I don't give a shit what anybody else thinks about it."
Chuck stared at his sister for a while, just taking her in, and he was suffused with an almost overwhelming mixture of love and gratefulness. "Hey." She turned to look at him. "Thank you for being in Sarah's corner, especially when I'm not. Not that I realized I wasn't."
"You had one foot in her corner, and you went all the way into her corner just now with our parents. But she should've been here to see it. She's probably going through a lot of second guessing herself, Chuck. Fix it."
"I'm gonna fix it."
He distractedly took his phone out of his pocket then, glancing at it, and then he did a double take. He'd silenced his phone somehow and Sarah called him twice and sent him two texts along the lines of, "Can someone buzz me in? I'm here at your parents' gate."
"Shit!" He buzzed her in from his phone. "Sarah's here. God, can I not suck as a boyfriend for even a second?"
"Huh?"
He just shoved his hand through his hair and made his way to the front door.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Sarah pulled her car up behind the fountain in front of the Bartowski house, spotting Chuck rushing through the front door and jogging down the steps onto the roundabout driveway.
By the time she was getting out of her car, he was right there, holding the door, and the moment she stood up, he enveloped her in a tight embrace. She blinked a few times in surprise at the intensity of it, but then she hugged him back. She slipped her hand that wasn't clutching her car keys up to rest on the back of his neck, knowing how that seemed to have a comforting effect on him. And with the tone she read in the text he sent her, she knew intrinsically that he was in need of some comfort.
She had a moment of insanity then, wondering if she smelled like lime-scented Pledge. And the moment cleared when he squeezed her even tighter, burying his face in her neck. "Are you okay?" she asked quietly.
"I'm fine. But I'm also a fucking idiot."
Sarah frowned and pulled back just enough to look him in the face. There was guilt there. A lot of it. "What d'you mean?"
"You should've been here for this. I shouldn't have asked you not to come. That was so stupid. I'm stupid."
"Hey, stop that." She slid her hand down to his bicep and squeezed it in admonishment. "You wanted to keep this a family thing, and I get it."
"No." He looked pained as he shook his head, and then he dropped his arms to his sides and shifted to lean against the side of her car. "I had a realization while I was sitting there with my parents talking at me. I asked you not to come because I feel like I can talk to them more candidly when you aren't there."
Sarah furrowed her brow, tilting her head. She wasn't sure if she should be hurt by that or not. "What's that mean?"
"It's just me being stupid," he breathed, shaking his head and shoving his hands in his jean pockets. "But like…really laying into my mom, especially, talking about you with my family, it just felt like it'd be easier for me to be fully truthful if you weren't…in the room. Hearing what I was saying."
"Wow." She sighed and grabbed onto the door, nibbling on the inside of her cheek. "Okay."
"Which is connected to a whole mess of realizations that I've fucked up handling this whole situation. I want to say that I'm sorry. I'm really God damn sorry."
"H-Hold on. Whoa. Chuck, slow down." He was spiraling, she could see it. He had a million things he wanted to—had to—say and his mouth just couldn't keep up with his brain. It was about to all just spill out and she needed to slow him down. She put a hand on his chest and slipped in close to him. "You sent me a text about ten minutes ago that said, and I quote, 'I made a huge mistake. Please come to my parents if you can.'"
"I'm impressed you have that word for word."
She widened her eyes. "Yeah, well…when I got it, I'd been on my fourth round dusting every single surface at the agency and was checking my phone every two seconds like a damn crazy person, so…your text worried me enough that the words were imprinted in my brain."
Chuck winced. "God, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you. I'm okay. It didn't go great but it could've been a lot worse than Dad getting overwhelmed and going out into the backyard by himself and Mom passive-aggressively scarfing finger sandwiches and aspirin."
Sarah reared her head back and raised her eyebrows. "Uh, that sounds bad to me."
"Does it? Crap."
"I'm sorry I've made such a huge mess for you—" she tried, cupping his jaw, but he cut her off, standing up straight and even leaning down just a bit so they were eye to eye.
"No. That's done. You didn't make any mess. This isn't right. What I said to you that night wasn't right, either. That's what I meant when I said I'd fucked up handling this situation, Sarah." He reached up to grab her hand, pulling it away from his face, but holding onto it, almost like it was a lifeline for him. It made her feel needed and important in a way nothing else in her life had, the way he clung to her sometimes, reached for her. But that was neither here nor there.
"It took being in there and watching in person as my parents deal with this Ed Pasfield situation for me to realize we're in trouble."
"We're in trouble?" she asked, a chill going through her.
"No, no. No." He grabbed her by her shoulders and held fast. "Not we as in me and you. We as in…my family." Shit. Shit, had her involvement in the Pasfield case put a rift between the Bartowskis? Oh, God. "I'm just gonna put it in blunt terms. We got rich and entered into rich people society and without realizing it, we let them dictate…us. Who we are. How we handle things. And it's left me feeling kind of raw and shaken up seeing it. I never saw it, but then…God, it got me, too." She frowned, confused. He must've recognized it because he gave her a thoughtful look and continued quickly, explaining. "You wanna know what my first thought was when I found out you worked on Sonia Zaoui's murder investigation with the LAPD? I thought, 'Crap, now everyone's gonna think I can't be trusted because my girlfriend's a detective.' That was my first thought, Sarah."
She let out a slow breath, raising her eyebrows. "Oh."
"Yeah. It's fucked up. You know what that means? I've bought into this keeping up appearances shit. I told myself all this time that I was different. And I am, in a lot of ways. But this has really put things into perspective, not just about how being rich has changed me, but also about how I've treated you."
Sarah blanched a bit. "Treated me? What? Chuck, you're an incredible boyfriend. Best boyfriend in the world. You're wonderful. I couldn't dream up better. And what's more, these past few years, I've been happier than I ever was in the prior years put together. What are you talking about?"
He smiled at her. "That is…nice to hear. Thank you." He cleared his throat then and frowned. "But I've approached our relationship in…in the wrong way, I think. Especially since you started your agency."
"How?" she asked, shaking her head. She was so ready to dispute him, but she was letting him get it out first. He listened to her, so she would listen to him. Even if she thought he was so damn wrong.
"We've all sort of put you in this box labeled 'Chuck's girlfriend', as though everything you do needs to be dictated by that label. Case dropped on your lap? Uh oh, you have to think about it first. As Chuck Bartowski's girlfriend, is it right for you to work this case?" He scoffed and shook his head. "Fuck that. You're not just my girlfriend. You're not just a private investigator. You're Sarah Walker, a person with your own moral compass, your own compulsions and desires and ideas about the way things ought to work." He cupped her face and stepped in close until his chest was pressed to hers. She found it difficult to breathe. "Us Bartowskis? We've allowed ourselves to be rewired for this new world we're in. And my parents expected you to be fit with the same wires. Even I did to a certain extent. Fuck. That. Fuck the wires. I tore 'em out of me today. With Ellie's help. We're gonna try to tear 'em out of my parents, too, but it's kind of a long shot I think."
Sarah searched his face, his words finally starting to click for her. "Chuck, are you saying you aren't mad at me for joining the investigation? For not telling you about it?"
"Yeah. I am. I-I mean, I'm not mad at you, and yes I'm saying that. God, I'm not making sense."
"No, you are. You're making sense. But Chuck, as sweet as what you just said about the, um, the wires, is… that is the world you're in. And whatever world you're in, I'm following. I'm not gonna be left behind, baby." She smirked a little, poking him in the rib. "I don't want to be the reason why people stop trusting your company."
"You helped bring in a murderer, Sarah!" he exclaimed, letting out a breathy laugh in disbelief. "God, if those assholes wanna side-eye this family for being tied to a person who puts murderers behind bars, they can stay the hell away from us. I don't care. I don't want B.E.C. connected to people like that. And I think-I think deep down my dad knows he doesn't want that, either. He's just in…shock still. About the murder itself. Or I'm reading him totally wrong. He doesn't like letting people see his emotions. He's not big on digging deep and talking shit like that out. That's why he eventually walked out during our talk, I think." Chuck ducked his head, looking miserable. "This must'a been harder for him than any of us realized."
Sarah nodded, swallowing thickly. She was still stuck on what Chuck said about not caring about the potential repercussions her actions might have caused for his family in their social circles. She wanted to wrap him up in her arms and never let go.
"Gah, I'm just sorry, baby." He wound his arms around her waist and pulled her lower half tight against his as she put her hands on his shoulders. "I'm sorry I got twisted up in the weird social rules and rich people head space instead of seeing how important it was for you to be in a murder victim's corner. In justice's corner." He made a face. "Okay, ew. That last bit sounded like a bad John Grisham title."
Sarah laughed, beaming up at him. And then she squeezed him. "It's okay, Chuck. And thank you. I still think this would've gone better—for you and me at least—if I'd just told you right when I got pulled onto the case."
"I don't think you should have to do that. It isn't my business, Sarah," he rushed on when she gave him a doubtful look. "It isn't my business what cases you do and don't take. You don't take any of this lightly, I know that. And I'm going to try not to take how hard your job is for granted. This is real work you're doing here. Important work. You don't get to know everything I do at my job."
"Well, your job doesn't directly impact my life. Or my family." She shrugged. "This impacted yours."
He shook his head. "Nah. This was about a woman being murdered, and her murderer being brought to justice. That's way more important than an app on a tablet. I'm sorry for the way I treated you this past week."
She sighed and hugged him tight. "Listen, we're both gonna keep making mistakes and slipping up. But it's okay. As long as we talk like this, we'll be all right."
"Yeah. And as long as Ellie's around to smack me in the head."
Sarah giggled a little and pulled back. And then something occurred to her. "Wait…Ellie's here? Is she…I mean, where is she at?" She huffed, shifting her weight uncomfortably. "I mean, where does she…stand?"
"Oh, firmly lodged in your corner."
Her eyes popped at the sound of the aforementioned brunette's voice and she spun, disentangling herself from Chuck's arms to face Ellie as she approached.
"Sorry, I wanted to give him a bit of time to undo the damage he did. You know you didn't do anything wrong, right Sarah?" Ellie asked. Jesus, sometimes she really just got right to it, didn't she?
"I…guess so. I think I still owe it to your parents to at least have a conversation with them, so they know where I'm coming from."
Ellie came up and gave her a quick, tight hug. And when she pulled back, she smiled reassuringly. "That's fair. Just don't let them manipulate you. They're good at that."
Chuck raised his hand and stepped to the side so they could both see him. "Uh, yeah. I know this well. Unfortunately. 'Cause I'm a sap."
"You're not a sap, you dork. You were pulled into those social circles just like Mom and Dad were. The fact that you're able to get your head clear from it means you're a good egg." Ellie reached over and squeezed his shoulder.
"He is a good egg," Sarah said affectionately, moving close to him and going up on her tiptoes to peck him on the lips.
"Uh…so…how are things in there?" Chuck asked then as the nice warm moment passed.
Ellie rolled her eyes, then winced. "Mom's in the kitchen passive-aggressively wrapping the sandwich plate in a stupid amount of saran wrap. Dad's still outside by himself."
"Maybe I should go talk to him," Chuck said haltingly, pushing a hand through his hair. "He can't stay out there all day."
Sarah felt the tingle of nervousness go through her, and she shivered a little. Still, she swallowed, licked her suddenly dry lips, and said, "Maybe it'd be best if I talked to him."
Both Bartowski siblings spun to regard her with wide eyes. Then Chuck turned to meet his sister's gaze, and spun back to face Sarah again.
"Or not?" she amended, wincing. "I just thought…I dunno…maybe I can talk to him just the two of us and explain…stuff. I mean, my decision to… you know."
"You'd put yourself in that really awkward position?" Ellie asked.
"Mhm." She nodded. "It's getting to the point that I'd do just about anything for you Bartowskis." Folding her hands together in front of her, she shrugged one shoulder and smiled. She blushed a little at the unending warmth in both of their faces.
Ellie nudged Chuck with her elbow. "You know how we were talking with the parents about having a different brand of loyalty than that of their stuffy friends?"
A wide smile spread over Chuck's handsome face as he gazed at Sarah. "Yep. This is the brand of loyalty I'm on board with."
"Way better than Keeping-Up-Appearances loyalty," Ellie hummed.
Sarah looked back and forth between them in utter confusion. "What?"
"Nothing. We just like you a lot, that's all," Ellie chirped, leaning in to kiss Sarah on the forehead. "And we've got a lot of changes to make as a family. I think we can do it, though, huh, brother?"
"Mhm." Chuck smiled even harder at Sarah, and she really didn't understand what they were talking about.
"Come on, Sarah. I'll take you around the side of the house. That way you don't have to run into the Finger SandWitch," Ellie said. And then she pointed at both of them with a giggle. "See what I did there? Like a cauldron-stirring witch? Ha!"
Sarah forced herself to giggle as she left Chuck's side and followed after his sister towards the side of the large two-story Spanish style home, but before she got much further than a few feet, Chuck called her name.
She stopped and turned back to him right as he practically crashed into her, enfolding her in his arms and kissing her, his hands moving up to frame her face. When he finally pulled back, he breathed, "You seriously deserved that," pecked her on the lips one more time, and finished with a sincere, "Thank you."
Her knees were a little wobbly as she followed Ellie again.
The side of the yard was a bit overgrown with vines covered in jasmine, and while it smelled pleasant, it was also a nice reminder that Chuck's parents took care of their own yard. They cleaned their own home. They fixed their own pipes. Or, well, as Chuck had told her a few months ago, Stephen had tried really hard before he finally called the plumber. They were real people, people who had a past that was very different from their present.
And while she got what Chuck was saying about not wanting his family to fall into the social circle and whatever their unsaid rules and code of conduct were, while she got that he wanted his family to continue to be exactly who they were and taking the moral high ground and standing by Sarah in the decision she made… she couldn't help thinking these were genuinely good people just as they were. Stephen and Mary were good people who'd raised exceptional people in Ellie and Chuck.
As much as she'd been hurting the last few days, as much as she loved Chuck and Ellie for sticking by her and especially Chuck for his sincere apology and candidness, she had to separate herself from that for a bit and try to put herself in Stephen Bartowski's shoes.
He had to be in such a rough spot, in a difficult, confusing head space. And technically, this business was his. And Ed Pasfield was his lawyer. She knew how hard it was to learn bad things about someone you respected deep down in your bones. She knew how hard it was to accept it, and get past it once you did accept it.
Ellie put a hand on her shoulder then and stopped her. "I'm gonna go inside and make sure my mom hasn't saran wrapped herself to the butcher block." She smiled reassuringly again as Sarah giggled. And with one last squeeze of her arm, Ellie was gone again, leaving Sarah alone to her fate.
God, that was so dramatic. Her fate.
She'd had one on one conversations with Stephen Bartowski before. Mary wouldn't be there to drop her pernicious barbs. It was Stephen. He was her friend. He was kind. He listened well. He was a lot like Chuck, but quieter and much shyer. And he had a better filter than Chuck did. Everyone in his family did.
But she liked her filterless Chuck.
As she rounded the corner, she swept her gaze over the sprawling backyard; the pool over in the back corner, the clump of trees, the raised gardens, a gorgeous spiral staircase that led up onto a large stone patio, and a cement area beneath it with a table and chairs.
Stephen had grabbed one of the chairs and dragged it away from the table, facing it towards the rest of the yard, and sat in it. He was just staring off into space, and she could see even in his profile how tired he was.
She felt a spike of protectiveness run through her suddenly, the first time that had happened with anyone besides Chuck. At least, not for years.
He must have heard the leaves crunch under her boots because he started and turned to look at her.
"Sorry," she said with a wince. "I, um, wasn't trying to sneak up on you. Ellie told me to come around the side of the house 'cause you were back here so…uh, here I am." She stopped about ten feet away from him, feeling embarrassed and way out of her depth now that Chuck's dad was looking at her.
But there was no anger, she was relieved to note. No bitterness. The corner of his mouth twitched in an attempt at a smile, maybe just inherent politeness. And he shook his head. "That's—That's all right, Sarah. I take it Ellie probably filled you in on everything? Or Chuck."
What was 'everything'? How did she answer that?
She didn't want to throw them under the bus.
"No, I just…I know that you were all having your family meeting. Then Chuck asked me to come. And I know you're sitting out here by yourself. I imagine this is all…really hard for you." She didn't budge from where she stood, feeling so awkward.
He rescued her, though, as if he'd belatedly realized she was just standing there. Stephen reached back to grab another chair, dragging it over next to his. "Have a seat, Sarah."
It didn't sound like an order, really…more like an offer. But she didn't waste any time walking over and sitting down beside him. "Thanks," she murmured, clasping her hands together in her lap.
She suddenly realized she'd left her car door open, her purse sitting in the passenger seat, and…she looked down and saw that Chuck had managed to take the keys out of her hand at some point. Probably when he'd kissed her before she hastened off with Ellie. He'd lock up the car. He'd get her purse. He was taking care of things. She just had to focus on this, on getting her words right.
"Chuck do this to ya?" Stephen asked, smiling a little. "I mean, sending you back here to talk to me." Then he snorted quietly and shook his head. "Though it seems more like something Eleanor'd do now that I think about it."
Sarah smirked and shook her head. "Neither of them did. When I heard you were out here I decided now's as good a time as any to…hash things out." She hated how she'd phrased that.
It must have struck him as strange, too, because he sent her a look. "Hash things out?" He paused. "You must think I'm furious with ya, huh? I'm not."
She felt more than just a little relief. "I'm super glad. You have to know I'd be really bummed if you were."
That made him chuckle quietly. "I don't want you to be bummed, Sarah. I want us to-to be friends. I don't…Well, I don't think this has changed that. I just…have a lot going on in-in my mind. I guess."
Sarah sat back against the chair and sighed. Then she looked at his profile again. "Well, I'm here. It's just us two out here, hangin' out by the pool." He smiled at that. "So if you want to talk to me about this…whole situation, you can. If you have questions. If you want to…I don't know, yell at me, I guess. Chuck and Ellie don't seem to think I deserve it, but I actually…well, I dunno, I suppose I understand if you want to." She huffed. This wasn't coming out right. She was too nervous. After years of being a Pinkerton agent, the words coming to her so easily, knowing exactly what to say and how to say it. She'd interrogated many a witness and many a suspect. Why was this so damn hard?
But Stephen shook his head. "I don't yell. Even-Even at people I really, really don't like." His eyes widened and he thrust a hand out, gently putting it on her arm. "Not saying I don't like you. Heh. I just…No, I'm not—I'm not gonna yell at ya, Sarah. You don't deserve that. None of this is your fault."
She looked at him with wide eyes. "It isn't? I-I investigated your lawyer. He's going to prison because of an investigation I was involved in. And it doesn't look good for…your family…that I was involved and that I'm dating Chuck at the same time."
"Hm." He nodded. "I-I don't really…How do I say this? I don't quite know what to do with all of this…information. About Edward. Ed. And about the investigation. You have two champions in my son and daughter, you know."
She sighed. "Yeah. I know."
"They gave me a lot to think about, too. It's all just felt like…too much. It's overwhelming."
"I'm sorry. It's really hard, learning something like this about a person you…respect."
He nodded quickly and cleared his throat, squirming in his chair. He looked very uncomfortable with the conversation.
She saw the pain in his face then, but he smoothed it over the moment he must have seen her look at him. And she suddenly felt like she hadn't really related to a Bartowski quite as much as she related to Stephen in that moment. She wasn't sure if he'd trained himself to close up the way she had when she was a teenager, to shield herself from things, from everything. Or perhaps it was just his personality. But she felt a kinship as he sighed heavily and cleared his throat again. "I-I don't like this feeling," he said haltingly. "I tend to trust—trust people. I try to really see the best in people. But something like this…" He seemed at a loss for words.
"It's a terrible situation," she said lamely.
He turned to look at her then. And then he sniffed a bit in amusement, looking back out at the pool and shaking his head. "It's funny. Just about a half hour ago, Charles told me to stop calling it 'the situation'. And here you are doing the same thing."
"It isn't easy to talk about, even for me. And I've investigated enough murders." Her voice faltered and she turned her face away, shutting her eyes tight. She pushed it all away, everything, until she was back to normal and she looked back at him, clasping her hands together to keep them from shaking. "It never gets easy to talk about. Especially when someone you know is…involved." Sarah cleared her throat. "The way your friend and lawyer is."
"I didn't know, Sarah."
Shaking her head, she tentatively moved to put her hand on his forearm. "Of course you didn't. Nobody even began to suspect you did. The investigation never swung in your direction, your company was left out of it entirely."
He hummed, a quick note. "Was that your influence?"
Looking at him with wide eyes, she shrugged. "I, um…"
"You were looking out for us. I appreciate it, Sarah. More than I can—I can say. But I have to—I have to know…why. Why'd you take the case? You knew he was my lawyer, that I'd donated to his city council bid. My own money." He looked ashamed. "I never saw even a trace of…any of it. Not the es-escorts. Not…not the…I just never saw him as someone who was capable of-of murder."
Sarah took a deep, quiet breath. "This isn't something I've told anyone yet, but I'm going to tell you, because you deserve the truth." He turned to face her better, his eyes narrowed in curiosity. "I did know he was connected to you. I knew there was already some evidence, but they would only arrest someone as powerful and rich and well-connected if they had piles and piles of evidence. The lead detective asked me to help them, but he gave me the lowdown on Pasfield's connection with you, your family. Asked me if I'd still want to join the investigation."
"And you did…"
"I did. Yeah. The thing is…" She swallowed. "Everyone on that investigative team was a man. And maybe this is unfair of me, but they were all seasoned cops, and the detectives were recently promoted cops. And it just felt…like a prostitute wouldn't get enough attention paid to her case. I wanted to know that she…would get justice. If I was thorough and discovered it wasn't Pasfield, I wanted to find the bastard who did kill her. And if it was him, well…I wanted him behind bars. It just didn't feel like she'd get what she deserved." She winced. "Sounds like I don't have faith in our boys in blue or whatever, and it isn't really that, it's just… It's important to me that every victim gets a fair shake, gets justice. Even if they are sex workers."
Stephen nodded as she tried not to let her voice shake. "I…understand that."
"I am so sorry about the repercussions my involvement might have for you, though, Mr. Bartowski."
"Stephen," he corrected, scooting back in his chair a little and thrusting his hand out towards her. "P-Please."
"Stephen. I'm really so sorry. I was admittedly thoughtless. It's not something I ever had to think about before. Before Chuck. I worked the cases I was assigned. I never had to worry about who might face repercussions if I was involved in a case, because I-I never had…people before this. It's different and…strange…for me. I guess. Something I have to get used to. And I guess this…Well, being with a man whose family is in the spotlight and powerful means maybe I need to learn…"
"You don't," he said, grabbing her arm gently and squeezing. "I, uh—Well, I'm glad you've apologized. It-It means a lot. I appreciate it, Sarah. But I've been sitting out here and-and gosh, I'm really…" He coughed a little and rubbed the back of his neck, letting go of her and grabbing the arms of his chair tightly. "Bear with me. This-This talking thing is—Well, it's not easy for me. I tend to just walk away and…well, I have to d-deal with things a-alone. Does that make sense?"
"God, I can't tell you how much I get that, Stephen. Talking about feelings and emotions is…exhausting."
"You get me, thank God," he gasped out, chuckling breathily. He shook his head and smiled down at the water, then he brushed his hand through the air. "I married a woman who uses her emotions like a weapon—and maybe I'm crazy but it's kind of sexy." He blushed and made a face like he knew he'd gone too far, but Sarah let a soft giggle out through her nose. That was definitely unexpected. "Please never repeat that to anyone. Ever. You might put my kids in the hospital." She laughed and held a hand up. "Thank you. I mean, then we had two of the most emotional kids to ever exist. Emotions just…everything comes gushing out. Charles, especially."
"Oh, yes." She nodded vehemently, eyes wide. "He loooooves talking about feelings and deep things. I love him more than my own life and I don't mind it—I-I think I've gotten used to it now, I even really like that about him, but it was so hard to…" She huffed. "In the beginning especially, having him say something…full of feelings…I didn't know how to handle it."
"Nice to know I'm not the only one anymore." Stephen chuckled. "I just—I got so afraid that everything would come…spilling out. And they just kept…talking. Kept harping on it. I don't know, Sarah. Maybe—Maybe I wasn't ready. But I needed to just be by myself to…process. This is so hard. I never saw it coming. And he wasn't—Well, he wasn't like a-a brother or anything. But he meant a lot to our success. I'm so…I'm so ashamed I didn't see anything."
Uh oh. There was the guilt. She should've known the guilt would be a part of it. This was a good man. One of the best men she'd ever met, second only to his son. She put a hand on his shoulder and leaned closer. "Listen, this isn't your fault. You don't know what someone is capable of until they…until they do it."
"No." He shook his head. "No, that's not—I know I wouldn't murder somebody like that. I know Mary wouldn't. Eleanor, Charles, Devon. You wouldn't. I know that. I should've been able to…" He huffed and shook his head.
"People who knew Ed Pasfield way better than you did never saw it either, Stephen. This isn't on you. It's going to feel bad for…a while. But we're all here for you."
He let out a soft huff through his nose and smiled wanly, nodding. "Enough of—Enough of the emotional…stuff." He gave her a self-deprecating smile and she sat back in her chair, nodding. "My kids said something in there and-and hearing you…Well, sitting out here and thinking has solidified some things in my head. They-They're smart, those two. I don't know what Mary and I did right, but I-I'm glad we did it." He nervously rubbed his hands down the legs of his jeans, his eyes narrowed in thought. "We've been playing by this…pretend…set of rules. Worried about-about how things look. All of us. And…Well, I think we've lost…ourselves. In the process."
"What do you mean?" she prompted when he was quiet for a few seconds.
"I-I mean that I thought—I thought what you did was disloyal. To Charles. To us. I thought, why'd she do that? Why'd she do that when the LAPD could've come to the same conclusion without her help? And then Ed would still be goin' to prison—and deservedly so—but we wouldn't have this…oh gosh, this stain on our name because Chuck's girlfriend acted against one of our allies. I thought, why-why'd she turn against us like this?" Sarah felt like she'd been slapped. But Stephen put his hand on his shoulder then. "I was wrong. Poisoned—well, that's a strong word—but well, I was poisoned by the ten or so years I've been in these circles of people who-who look out for their own. But-But I don't want us to be looking out for our own in…in the wrong way. I mean protecting…a murderer. Sonia Zaoui deserves better. She deserves more. And I don't want my family to be that way. I don't want to throw you under the bus because you—because you sought justice for an innocent woman. I don't want to be a part of that. And if—if that means some of these guys will be avoiding me at events…? Well, so be it. We-We need to have integrity. I can—I can afford that. And I can…afford to lose a few allies. Anyone who doesn't see what you did as…as right…well, they aren't real allies, are they?"
Sarah sighed heavily and pushed her hands through her hair. "Wow. I don't know what sort of a conversation I expected to be having. I planned on sticking to my guns but also apologizing a lot, begging you not to hate me. I didn't expect this."
"Yeah. Neither did I. But they're right, damn it. When—When did I start losing my soul?" He chuckled, but without mirth. "Disloyal." He scoffed. "You? No. I can't-I can't think of anything more loyal than going full throttle at an investigation into a man with ties to our family, trusting…knowing it wouldn't implicate us. But also guarding us at the same time." He sighed. "You don't owe us anything, Sarah. You've set out to do something big—opening a private investigative agency, keeping people honest, seeking justice for people who otherwise wouldn't get it if you weren't around…"
Her eyes were stinging now. This really wasn't anything close to what she was expecting.
"I was mad at you—felt betrayed even—because of some…oh, made-up crap. But I believe you deserve the freedom of choosing how to operate your own agency, without having to worry about if your boyfriend's family will resent you for it. I don't want to always worry about what people think of the decisions I make with my family, the people we choose to…be with. I'd rather have a P.I. hanging around than a murderer." He frowned deeply.
Then he stood up and brushed off the front of his jeans and sweatshirt. "Well, uh…this-this was a good talk. Thank you. We should…let's go inside. There's lemonade. Sandwiches." He cleared his throat. "If I know my wife, she's up in our bed with a stress headache, so you, uh, you're in the clear there."
Sarah didn't know how to respond to that, so she stood up as well. And then Stephen winced.
"Do…do we hug?"
She smiled and they hugged a bit tentatively, awkwardly. But then she hung on for a bit longer. "Thank you, Stephen." When they pulled back, he nodded, blushing a bit. "No, really. It means so much to me that…all of you…you're all so…I don't know, good."
He seemed speechless at that, just nodding again, and then they walked inside together.
XOXOXOXOXOXO
"She really saran-wrapped the shit out of these sandwiches, didn't she?" Chuck murmured as his sister strolled into the kitchen. He was genuinely struggling to get the stuff off so that he could get into one of the finger sandwiches. This whole day had made him grumpy and starving, and clawing at the stretchy plastic wrap with no success wasn't helping.
Ellie snorted and a few moments later, her hand thrust into his view holding a pair of scissors.
"Ahhhh. And so…the thing that makes the human race the king of the animal world. The use of tools," he said in his best Attenborough impersonation.
She made a face as he took the scissors and started cutting. "Have you even watched Planet Earth? We aren't the only ones who use tools."
Chuckling, he grabbed a sandwich with a "ta daaaa" and nodded. "You make a good point. I'm going to enjoy my spoils, nonetheless."
And he did. He loved finger sandwiches. It was so bourgeois of him, he knew. But oh well. They were fun and tiny and delicious.
"How do you think it's going out there?" his sister asked then, leaning against the counter and peering out of the window above the kitchen sink, crossing her arms.
"I don't know. We really gave Dad an earful. Just not sure if his ears were clear enough to, uh, be filled." He pushed another sandwich past his lips and began chewing hungrily.
"You really have a way with words," she giggled, crossing to him and ruffling his hair.
"I'm basically Keats. Why do you think Sarah is so attracted to me?"
"Dork," she muttered, smirking.
"No, that's not why," he said thoughtfully, and he got a rolled up piece of saran wrap tossed at him.
When they both sobered up a bit, he swallowed and took a sip of some lemonade. "You know, I have faith in 'im. In Dad. I know how easy it is to let…I dunno, to let yourself get caught up in the atmosphere. It caught me, too. Especially the last few years. It's hard not to…not to feel like you have to play by the rules, even if they're fake, arbitrary rules that harken back to, like, the nineteen-fifties."
Ellie nodded. "Understandable."
"Maybe. But that can't be us."
"No. It can't be us. Consequences be damned."
Chuck reached out a hand towards her and she smiled warmly, taking it. He squeezed. "Sarah's got this. She and Dad are kind of similar in a lot of ways, I think." Ellie looked a bit dubious. "No, really. They are. Hear me out." She thrusted her hand out for him to continue, crossing her arms then and listening. "They're both the type of people who sort of hang back and watch in a group setting. You, me, Mom…we kinda step into the fray and become a part of things, you know? In Mom's case, she sort of, um…"
"Controls things?"
"Yes." He chuckled. "That. But Dad and Sarah are…observers."
"But Sarah can function in a conversation," Ellie said. "Dad kind of, uh, struggles sometimes."
"Bless his heart."
"Stereotypical tech nerd who talks better to computers than he does to humans."
"But we love him," Chuck drawled, and they chuckled together. "Sarah's really good at connecting with tech nerds." He tapped himself on the forehead. "I mean, look at the headway she's made with this one."
Ellie snorted. "Stop pretending you're a typical nerd. You're heads above the rest of 'em, little brother, and that's a fact."
"So what you're saying iiiiis…my girlfriend isn't into regular-type nerds, she's just into nerds particularly like me."
That got an eye roll out of her and she reached over to grab another finger sandwich for herself. "I guess I see your point about those two being similar. We're very…effusive. And Dad and Sarah are…"
"Not. At all."
"Yeaaaah, no, they're really not." She dropped her smirk and swirled the tea she'd made for herself, playing with the string attached to the bag a bit distractedly, he noticed. "I really think Sarah's going to be good for this family, Chuck."
He turned to face her, eyes widening a little. He didn't know what to say as she lifted her green eyes to look into his brown ones.
"She's legitimately challenging this…stagnant status quo. Shaking things up in a way Devon didn't. She's different. I love my husband—he's the father of my child—but he's so placating, lets things roll off his back. Not that he doesn't have a spine, because he does. But he just backs off sometimes when, say, Mom is acting like a turd. He'd rather not ruffle feathers. Sarah's not like that."
Chuck pressed his lips together and puffed his cheeks out, widening his eyes. "No. No, she is not like that. You're right."
"She sticks to her guns. And she doesn't suffer fools."
He nodded, crossing his arms and leaning against the butcher block. "Yeah, I'm not sure Mom was prepared for her. At all. Come to think of it, neither was I." He thought back to that first day, in the office. "She walked into the office that very first time in that power suit like a straight-up bad ass and got right to business. And then there was warmth and kindness and understanding, too. But if I pulled shit, she called me out."
"Yeah, this family needs some of that. I try to do my part, but it's different coming from me. Sarah's really going to be a shot in the ass. Get us grounded again. Back to our roots, before all…this came along." Ellie gestured around the room. "Like I said, she's gonna be a challenge."
"Yeeeeeah," he drawled dreamily, staring off to the side.
"…For you, too, Chuck. Think you can handle it?"
He looked back at his sister and a slow smile grew on his face. "Gladly."
"And that's why I love you."
The door opened suddenly and Sarah came in first, a small, shy smile on her face as she saw Ellie and Chuck had congregated in the kitchen. Stephen, who'd been holding the door, shuffled in after her.
"Oh-Oh, good. The sandwiches are still here," he said, scooting past Sarah and going in to grab two at once.
Chuck only had eyes for Sarah, though, as she slowly made her way to his side. "Want a sandwich?"
"Uh, yeah. Sure, I'll take one." He grabbed the plate and held it out towards her so that she could pick one out with a "thanks", and he set the plate down again. He met her gaze, wordlessly asking a question she seemed to understand.
She smiled and nodded. And he knew things would be okay.
"Kids, I, uh…I want to just…say something. I'm not good with, uh, with words. But I want to say I'm…sorry. And y-you're right. About us. About how we've been playing the flawed game of high society, to blend in with everyone else…and that's just not…that's not the Bartowski way. It shouldn't be, at least."
Relief spilled through Chuck. He was going to give his dad a hug. He wanted to so bad. But Ellie beat him to it, setting her mug down and lunging at the older man, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and embracing him tightly.
"You're the best Dad ever."
Stephen J. Bartowski hugged his daughter back, fighting back some emotions. And when he won the battle, they both pulled out of the hug and he cleared his throat.
Chuck swore he wouldn't cry. He was being a sap.
"I'm really not. But I do have some pretty amazing offspring. Brilliant, really. And somehow you ended up being great people. I dunno how your mom and I managed it." There was a shuffling sound in the room above them, then, and Chuck knew it was the sound of his mom moving around her bedroom.
They all glanced up together and Chuck unconsciously wrapped an arm around Sarah's waist, pulling her close.
"Only reputation I care about is that we're known for being good people. And…Well, I'd like for our employees to feel good about—about the work they do. To be happy at their jobs." Stephen nodded emphatically. "Things, uh, things might change. But we can't. We shouldn't. I-I mean, not for them."
"We're gonna be okay, Dad. Us Bartowskis always are," Chuck said, and he exchanged a loving look with his father. He was warmed by the pride in the other man's face.
"That's right, Charles. Especially with a truly loyal P.I. in our midst now."
Sarah tensed a little against him, Chuck felt, as if she was surprised by his dad's comment. And then she melted into his side and grinned. "Gotta look after my people," she chirped.
Chuck turned to kiss the top of her head, shutting his eyes for a second and just reveling in this particular moment in time.
There was a rightness to it, like puzzle pieces fitting together perfectly. A certain understanding had settled between the four of them standing there in that kitchen.
And as they slipped into their usual pattern of chatter and teasing, he knew none of this was over. There was still the court case and the potential repercussions his family would face in society for sticking with Sarah, not making apologies or excuses for her involvement, but supporting her, standing with her. But it'd be okay. They'd get through it. And his mom would either have to fall in line or…well, she could stay up in her room with her stress headaches and some aspirin.
They weren't going backward ever again.
The Bartowskis moved forward. Always forward.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
A/N: Here's something you don't see often in Chuck fanfiction: one on one conversations between Sarah and Stephen J. I've done it twice though! Just in this story alone! More! Stephen! J! He's so under-appreciated. Anyway, hope y'all enjoyed! More DATG is coming. A shit ton more. And also the other 38492 things I'm working on. Pray for my sanity. This is difficult. And please review! It means a lot! Thanks!
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